Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 4/5/26 — 4/11/26


Diff’rent Strokes (Tubi)

It wasn’t by choice!  On Wednesday, I watched a movie on Tubi and then Tubi sent me to an episode of Diff’rent Strokes before I could stop it.  Mr. Drummond’s friend, Larry (McClean Stevenson), visited from Oregon.  Drummond got Larry a chance to audition for his own talk show.  Larry’s daughter (Kim Richards) didn’t want to move and, for some reason, she blamed the whole thing on Gary Coleman.

Fridays (Prime)

This was a comedy sketch show from the early 80s.  I watched the premiere episode on Saturday morning.  There were a lot of familiar faces in the cast, including a dark-haired Larry David.  Unfortunately, none of the skits were really that funny.

The Greatest Event In Television History (Prime)

In this Adult Swim series, Adam Scott recreated the opening credits of classic television shows and destroyed his life in the process.  Jeff Probst hosted.  Jon Hamm guest-starred and “died” shortly after filming his scenes.  (Don’t worry, his ghost later appeared.)  Paul Rudd slept with Adam’s wife.  Host Jeff Probst said, “Adam’s life is now ruined.”   Billy Joel played piano.  I watched all four episodes on Tuesday and it was funnier than it had any right to be.

Jesus of Nazareth (Tubi)

On Easter, I binged this seven hour miniseries from 1977.  Written by Anthony Burgess and directed by Franco Zeffirelli, this gorgeously produced production took the idea of having an all-star cast quite literally.  Even the minor roles were played by familiar faces, everyone from Donald Pleasence to Rod Steiger to Ernest Borgnine to James Earl Jones, Ian McShane, Laurence Olivier, Stacy Keach, Christopher Plummer, and Michael York.  Olivia Hussey played the Virgin Mary.  Anne Bancroft played the Magdalene.  It was very well-done and surprisingly moving.

The Masters (Prime and Paramount+)

I watched a bit of the Masters this week.  On Saturday, when it was storming outside and I had just returned from attending a memorial service for an old friend of my father’s, it provided a nice distraction.

Nero Wolfe (A&E)

I watched the final two episodes of Nero Wolfe on Tuesday.  It was a truly entertaining show, featuring great work from Maury Chaykin and Timothy Hutton.  It’s a shame that it was canceled after only two seasons.

Sledgehammer (Prime)

This was an 80s sitcom, featuring David Rasche as an out-of-control cop.  I watched two episodes on Friday and it was actually pretty funny.  Rasche talked to his gun and made fun of liberals.  I enjoyed it.

I also watched and reviewed:

  1. 1st & Ten
  2. Baywatch
  3. CHiPs
  4. Decoy
  5. Freddy’s Nightmares
  6. Highway to Heaven
  7. The Love Boat
  8. Miami Vice
  9. Pacific Blue
  10. Saved By The Bell
  11. Saved By The Bell: The New Class
  12. St. Elsewhere

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.17 “Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime and Tubi!

This week, we have perhaps the dumbest 30 minutes of television ever.

Episode 1.17 “Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 23rd, 1990)

After breaking the school’s video camera, Zack and the gang need to come up with some money and they need to do it quickly!  They see that a tabloid will pay money for pictures of an alien so they send in a picture of Screech.  Thompson (Sean Masterson) turns up at the school to investigate the claim.  Screech pretends to be an alien.  Uh-oh, Thompson’s from the government and he wants to dissect Screech!

This is without a doubt the stupidest episode of Saved By The Bell that I’ve ever seen and that’s saying something.  Everyone in the school — including freaking Mr. Belding — puts on a mask to show Thompson that he’s been fooled.

That’s not very nice, Thompson says.

Neither is telling a bunch of kids you’re from a magazine, Belding replies.

What does that even mean, Belding?

Seriously, I try to cut this show some slack but even when I was an occasionally stoned college student watching Saved By The Bell so I’d have something other to do other than study, I still groaned whenever this episode came on.

Did they ever fix the video camera?  They should have let the government have Screech.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.19 “The Big Race”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

Cort needs money!

Episode 1.19 “The Big Race”

(Dir by Kevin Inch, originally aired on March 16th, 1990)

This episode opens with Cort trying to impress a woman who is convinced that he’s rich.  He and Eddie illegally break into someone else’s yacht and Eddie dressed up in a tuxedo so he can pretend to be Cort’s butler.  The meeting goes well into the woman asks Cort to donate $10,000 to a retirement home and Cort impulsively says yes.

Now, he has to come up with $10,000!

Luckily, there’s a water ski race coming up and the grand prize is $15,000.  Cort, Mitch, and Craig enter and …. well, do you need me to tell you that they win despite the efforts of a bunch of snobby vandals?

Meanwhile, Shauni is scared to get in the water.  She’s haunted by slow motion flashbacks of Jill getting attacked by that shark.  (This is the rare episode of Baywatch that actually acknowledges that something that happened in another episode.)  I guess Shauni’s going to have to quit being a lifeguard now.  Oh wait — luckily, someone almost drowns and Shauni’s instincts overpower her fear.  With the help of Michael Newman — NEWMIE! — Shauni finds the courage to do her job.

At least Shauni is still mourning Jill.  No one else seems to care.  Seriously, if you think about it — two lifeguards have died in the line of duty over the past two weeks and no one really seems that upset about it.

No wonder some people stand in the darkness.

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Arcade With #ScarySocial!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting 1993’s Arcade!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy!

 

Scenes That I Love: “I Love The Smell of Napalm in the Morning” from Apocalypse Now (Happy birthday, John Milius!)


Today, the Shattered Lens celebrates the 82nd birthday of the iconic screenwriter and director, John Milius!

While director Francis Ford Coppola definitely put his own stamp on 1979’s Apocalypse Now, the film started life as a script written by John Milius and the film itself is full of dialogue that could only have been written by Milius.  The most famous example is Robert Duvall’s monologue about the smell of napalm in the morning.  Actually, the entire helicopter attack feels like pure Milius.  Reportedly, Duvall’s character was originally named Colonel Kharnage but, by the time the movie was made, his name had become Kilgore.  It’s still not exactly a subtle name but it’s not quite as obvious as Kharnage.

(When James Caan read the script, he loved the role so much that he was offended to not be offered it and, as a result, he turned down offers to play not only Willard but also Kurtz.)

Happy birthday, John Milius!

“Someday, this war is going to end.”

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special John Milius Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today is John Milius’s birthday and you know what?  It should be a national holiday!

It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 John Milius Films

Dillinger (1973, dir by John Milius, DP: Jules Brenner)

Big Wednesday (1978, dir by John Milius, DP: Bruce Surtees)

Conan The Barbarian (1982, dir by John Milius, DP: Duke Callaghan)

Red Dawn (1984, dir by John Milius, DP: Ric Waite)

Late Night Retro Television Reviev: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.8 “Bloodlines”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

Leave the pets alone.

Episode 2.8 “Bloodlines”

(Dir by James Quinn, originally aired on November 26th, 1989)

Woody Burton (Marc Alaimo) breaks out of prison and heads home to try to retrieve some money he stole.  The house is occupied by his bitter son, Jack (Chris Nash) and his delusional wife, Joyce (Sheree North).  Woody tries to bury his son alive but fortunately, Jack has his gun with him and shoots his father dead.

The episode then jumps forward in time.  Jack is now married to Maggie (Ruth de Sosa).  Maggie and Jack have “adopted” a daughter named Patty (Irina Cashen).  Because Jack had a criminal record, they couldn’t legally adopt so Jack paid a baby broker.  Now, Maggie worries that Patty might be possessed by the devil.  About 10 minutes into the second story, the family’s cat was killed for a cheap shock and I stopped watching.

From what I saw, this was a pretty crappy episode.  The first half was thoroughly unpleasant and didn’t even have any supernatural elements.  The second half was a dull Omen rip-off that killed a defenseless house pet.

Yes, I stopped watching when the cat died.  I had seen enough.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.15 “Bye, George”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

Episode 3.15 “Bye George”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on January 9th, 1985)

It’s another busy day at St. Eligius.

  • The then-Governor of Massachusetts, Michael Dukakis, appears as himself, entering the ER after pulling a muscle while out for his daily run.  Fiscus refuses to believe that he’s the governor.  Elliot recognizes him, of course.
  • Three years later, Governor Dukakis ran for President and lost …. big time.  Dukakis is still alive and is the earliest living unsuccessful presidential nominee.  Because he lost to the first President Bush, he used to show up on the news during the second President Bush’s term.  He always came across as being bitter and kind of whiny.
  • With Tshalla’s kidney transplant having been performed and his clinic at risk due to government corruption, Dr. Wyler finally leaves Boston and heads back to Africa.  And really, it’s not a moment too soon.  For all the time the show spent assuring us that Dr. Wyler was a modern-day saint, I found him to be a bit full-of-himself and a little annoying.  We’ve already got Dr. Westphall and Dr. Craig on this show.  We don’t need any more pompous doctors.
  • Speaking of Dr. Westphall, he’s depressed.  Well, what else is new?
  • Since revealing that he only studied for six months at a fly-by-night medical school, Dr. Morrison is no longer allowed to treat patients or go on rounds.  Joan Halloran (played by Nancy Stafford) returns to the hospital (and the show) and announces that she will be defending Morrison in front of the medical review board and that she hopes that Morrison will be able to continue on as a resident.  Morrison just kind of shrugs.  Morrison is easily depressed as Dr. Westphall.
  • Joan talks to everyone around the hospital and everyone agrees that Jack Morrison is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being they’ve ever known in their life.  When Joan tells Jack that he is universally beloved, Jack seems to cheer up a little.  Not much but a little.
  • Poor Mrs. Hufnagel.  She’s finally about to leave the hospital but, before she goes, she asks another patient, stand-up comedian Murray Robbin (Murray Rubin), to marry her.  Murray says he’ll think about it and then he promptly dies.
  • Murray was Elliot’s patient.  Depressed by his death, Elliot goes to Westphall for advice.  Westphall’s advice is as useless as usual.  Given that Westphall can’t even hear the laughter of children without spending the next eight hours obsessing on about how they’re all going to grow up and die someday, he may not be the best person to talk to while feeling down.
  • Elliot finds Hufnagel in the chapel and they both cry together.  It was a touching scene, well-played by Florence Halop and Stephen Furst.
  • Dr. Ehrlich took Dr. Craig out for dinner!  Yay!  I love it Ehrlich tries to suck up to Craig because it neve goes well.  He takes the Craigs to an incredibly tacky Hawaiian place.
  • Uh-oh, Ehrlich’s credit card has been declined!  Surely the wealthy Dr. Craig will help….
  • “Start washing dishes, Ehrlich,” Craig says.
  • As if so often the case, Ellen Craig admonishes her husband for being rude and agrees to help Victor out.

This was a great episode!  Yes, Westphall and Morrison were their usual depressing selves but Elliot and Hufnagel finally got to act like real people (as opposed to just caricatures) and the bit with Ehrlich and the Craigs was wonderfully handled.  Those who only know William Daniels as the kindly old Mr. Fenney are really missing out.  Dr. Craig’s a great character.

I enjoyed this episode.  For once, the humor and the drama were evenly balanced.  With Peter White dead and the cast clicking as an ensemble, St. Elsewhere appears to have really found its pace.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix for The Terminator!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly watch parties.  On Twitter, I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday and I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday.  On Mastodon, I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, I will be hosting #FridayNightFlix!  The movie?  1984’s The Terminator!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, find The Terminator on Prime, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  I’ll be there happily tweeting.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

See you there!