Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, while everyone is dancing, Lindsay is starving.

Episode 2.15 “A Perfect Lindsay”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 29th, 1994)

TV’s “hottest show,” Club Jam, will be holding a dance contest at the school!

Brian asks Rachel to be his partner and is overjoyed when she says yes.  (As I watched this episode, I had to remind myself that it was supposed to be taking place before the country club episodes, which explained why Rachel and Brian were not dating.)  However, when Rachel sees that Megan is going to be dancing with some guy named Kent (Adam Bonfiant), she says that she and Brian don’t have a hope of winning.

Oh, don’t worry, Rachel.  Brian has a plan!  Brian tells Kent that the way to win the contest is to offer Belding a bribe.  Because Kent is apparently an idiot, he does just that.  Mr. Belding gives Kent detention and Megan dumps Kent as her dance partner.  Fortunately, Bobby needs a partner.  Unfortunately, shortly after asking him to be her partner, Megan discovers that Bobby can’t dance.

Meanwhile, Screech shows up at the Max and demonstrates his dance moves.  It’s extremely cringey but the audience goes nuts.  Dustin Diamond is so spastic and uncoordinated that the whole thing just feels cruel.  I really wanted to step into time machine so I could travel to 1994 and shout, “They’re not laughing with you!”

Lindsay, meanwhile, fears that she’s fat.  When Megan and Rachel mention that the camera adds 40 pounds, Lindsay has a fantasy where she dances with Tommy while wearing a fat suit.  The audience laughs but Lindsay not amused.  She skips a meal, which leads to both Tommy and Rachel theorizing that she has anorexia.  When Tommy says that the dance contest isn’t worth risking her health, Linday dumps Tommy as her partner and instead teams up with Kent.

During the dance contest, Lindsay suddenly starts to feel faint.  She has to go to classroom to rest her head on a desk.  Brian gives up his chance to dance with Rachel and goes with Tommy D to help out Lindsay.  Lindsay says she’s fine and then she faints.

With everyone else in the classroom, Megan and Bobby win the dance contest!  It turns out that Megan only needed a week to teach Bobby how to dance like a pro.  After the contest, a smiling Lindsay apologizes to everyone.  Bobby nods and says, “Go eat something.”  Lindsay happily trots off to do just that….

,,,,which is actually not how anorexia works at all.  I mean, I appreciate the fact that the show was trying to warn its viewers about eating disorders but suggesting that anorexia can be cured by simply telling someone to go eat is really kind of irresponsible.  This episode focuses on Lindsay not eating while ignoring why she stopped in the first place.  Including a fantasy sequence where the audience laughs at Lindsay wearing a fat suit probably did more to promote anorexia than Bobby saying, “Go eat something” did to prevent it.

Oh well.  At least Lindsay didn’t sing I’m So Excited.