Tag Archives: TV

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.3 “Second Wave”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

Trouble comes to Malibu!

Episode 1.3 “Second Wave”

(Dir by Scott Brazil, originally aired on October 13th, 1989)

Jimmy Roche (Daniel Quinn), an old friend-turned-enemy of Eddie’s, is in Malibu and he and his gang are eager to give Eddie a hard time.  When Eddie tries to rescue a man in the water, Jimmy trips him and then plays keep-away with Eddie rescue can.  Dang, these guys are hardcore!

Eddie doesn’t want to tell anyone about his past, even after Jimmy files an assault complaint against him.  (Eddie was provoked into throwing a punch.)  Jimmy threatens to robs Gina and Craig unless Eddie gives him some money.  Eddie agrees to meet with Jimmy but then tells the cops.  Garner Ellerbee decides to set up an undercover sting, which basically means that Garner stands next to Eddie while Eddie waits for Jimmy to show up.  Somehow, Jimmy figures out what’s going on.  Looks like Eddie will just have to beat Jimmy up on the beach and prove that he’s no longer a delinquent from Philadelphia.

That would be an intense storyline, if not for the fact that Jimmy himself comes across as being kind of a wimp.  I mean, a young David Spade is a member of his gang!  Eddie allows himself to be intimidated by a young David Spade!  Think about that.  This storyline just made Eddie seem  kind of dumb,

Meanwhile, a young Mariska Hargitay gave a terrible performance as Lisa (hey!), the daughter of the head of the country club.  Lisa (!) decided to pursue a romance with the country club’s lifeguard, Trevor, as a way of upsetting her father.  When Lisa (!) jumped into the ocean to make a point (though I’m not sure what point), Trevor rescued her.  However, Lisa (!) later went into shock because she still had water in her lungs.  Trevor was able to get her to the hospital in time but he learned an important lesson about not being a cocky lifeguard.

“The county lifeguards know about secondary drowning,” he’s told.

Okay, so why wouldn’t Trevor know about that?  The whole idea behind Trevor’s character is that he was a hotshot lifeguard in Australia before he came to California.  So, is the show implying that he wasn’t trained in lifeguard basics in Australia because given how famous Australia is for its beaches, I find that hard to believe.

Anyway, after she recovers Lisa (!) announces that she’s going back to New York and Trevor realizes that she was only using him to make her father angry.  Trevor stops by Baywatch HQ and talks to Mitch and admits that he doesn’t enjoy working as a lifeguard.  Lifeguard Jill Riley gives him a sympathetic look.  It looks like they’re falling in love but I’ve seen this series before so I already know that Jill is going to get eaten by a shark and Trevor is going to vanish after a few more episodes.

This episode could have used a shark.

We love you, Roboshark!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.14 “Black Tickets”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week, a future Oscar winner shows up in Springwood.

Episode 1.14 “Black Tickets”

(Dir by George Kaczender, originally aired on February 5th, 1989)

Brad Pitt appears in this week’s episode, playing Rick.  Rick is a rebellious teenager who elopes with his girlfriend, Miranda (Kerry Wall).  Even on a low-budget show like this, Pitt’s screen presence was undeniable.  From the minute he shows up onscreen, it’s impossible to look away from him.  He had that movie star charisma from the start.  It’s a shame that the episode itself isn’t that good.

It’s a typical Freddy’s Nightmares scenario.  The first 20 minutes feature Rick having an extended dream sequence after he gets hit by a car.  Rick apparently dreams about staying at a creepy hotel with Miranda and then being forced to kill two cops that show up and attempt to arrest him.  But, at the end of the story, he sees himself lying in the middle of the road and realizes that everything that has happened since he got hit by the car has only been happening in his head.

The second 20 minutes features Miranda married to Rick.  Rick has no settled down but Miranda is worried that she might be pregnant.  While she waits for the results of her pregnancy test, she sees herself trapped in the house as a mother while Rick goes from being a rebel to being a police officer.  Finally, Miranda snaps out of her dream and discovers that she’s not pregnant.  She jumps for joy on her bed but then she slips, hits her head, and ends up with the mind of a child.

This was a pretty bland episode, even with Brad Pitt in the cast.  The main problem was that it was all so predictable.  The dreams were obviously dreams so there wasn’t really any suspense or tension while they were playing out.  Freddy’s Nightmares used the “Its all just a dream” format so often that, by this point in the first season, it had gotten fairly boring.  That was certainly the case here.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.21 “Rough Cut”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, St. Eligius loses a resident.

Episode 2.21 “Rough Cut”

(Dir by Eric Laneuville, originally aired on May 9th, 1984)

Bobby Caldwell and Joan Halloran decide to stop being Boston’s most boring couple by taking an impromptu trip to Paris.  But then Bobby catches himself in his zipper while trying to put on his pants sans underwear and the trip is cancelled.  Bobby spends the rest of the episode walking very carefully.

Fiscus agrees to pose for a story on eligible Boston bachelors and soon finds himself being photographed wearing only a bow-tie and a pair of black briefs.  That’s more of Howie Mandel than I’ve ever wanted to see.  Potential suitors start to call the hospital.  Fiscus is excited until his discovers that they’re all men.

Dr. Wendy Armstrong commits suicide.

St. Elsewhere was a show that frequently mixed comedy and drama but it was still undeniably jarring how this episode went from Howie Mandel getting half-naked and Mark Harmon stiffly moving down a hospital corridor to Dr. Armstrong downing a bunch of pills and dying in the OR.  Wendy killed herself after she was told that she would be invited back to do the second year of her residency.  (The first two seasons of St. Elsewhere represented a year in the life of its characters.)  Bulimic, feeling guilty about a patient who miscarried, and traumatized by her assault at the hands of Peter White, Wendy ended things.

Before Wendy’s suicide, Westphall, Auschlander, and Craig had decided to cut Morrison from the program.  While Craig and Auschlander respected Morrison as a person, they felt that he was still struggling as a doctor.  Seriously, Dr. Craig?  You took his dead wife’s heart but you won’t find him a place at the hospital?  However, with Wendy dead, Morrison is invited to take her spot.  Morrison accepts.  So, I guess that worked out for him.

To the surprise of no one, Dr. White is also cut from the program.  He loudly announces that he’s going to sue for his right to continue as a resident.  “I’ll be back,” he shouts, sounding like Warren Stacy at the end of 10 To Midnight.  Remember how that turned out?

10 To Midnight (1983, dir by J. Lee Thompson, DP: Adam Greenberg)

This was a good episode.  Even though I never really cared much for Wendy’s character, her death was still handled well and it was emotionally effecting.  Next week, the second season of St. Elsewhere comes to a close.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.19 “The Correspondent”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Jonathan is a dream warrior.

Episode 4.19 “The Correspondent”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on February 24th, 1988)

Journalist Hale Stoddard (Darren McGavin) sits in a South American prison cell and waits to be executed.  One-by-one, the other prisoners are dragged out of the cell and shot by the country’s new government.  Hale passes the time by writing a letter that he knows no one will ever read.

Suddenly, Hale is no longer in the cell.  Instead, he’s in the basement of his house.  And there’s Jonathan.  Jonathan explains that time has stopped and now, Hale is in his wife’s dream.  Martha (Patricia Smith) dreams of Hale never being at home.  She dreams of their son having both arms, even though he lost those arms in an accident when he was younger.  (She also dreams of their now-adult son as always being a child.)  Martha dreams about Hale’s former mistress, Eleanor (Eileen Barnett), standing around the house.  (Hale argues that Eleanor was never in the house but Jonathan explains that, in Martha’s dreams, she is.)  Hale comes to realize how often he deserted Martha because he couldn’t deal with settling down and raising a family.  And now, while Martha dreams of him, Hale is about to be shot and killed….

Except, he’s not.  It turns out that the South American prison was Hale’s dream.  When Hale wakes up, he’s still at home.  He tells Martha that he won’t be going to South American after all.

Awwww!  How sweet.

This was a bit of a weird episode but I liked it.  I appreciated how the show created Martha’s dream world by adding randomly weird details (like an oversized chair at the breakfast table, which was meant to represent Hale’s absence).  Darren McGavin gave a good performance as Hale and resisted the temptation to overact.  With the episode, the show tried to do something different and, for the most part, it succeeded.

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.9 “Necklace of Glass”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey discovers that New York can be a lot of fun when you know the right people.

Episode 1.9 “Necklace of Glass”

(Dir by Teddy Sills, originally aired on December 9th, 1957)

Casey goes undercover as a rich socialite in order to investigate a spree of jewelry thefts.  Unfortunately, Casey isn’t very good at her job in this episode.  Not only does she suspect the wrong person, a shady gigolo named Larry Babson (Martin E. Brooks), she also comes on too strong while trying to trick Larry into confessing.  Larry figures out that she’s a cop, finds the microphone that Casey hid in the apartment, and then storms out.  Fortunately, Larry’s wife (Rita Grapel) then shows up shortly afterwards and, not having had a chance to talk to Larry, reveals that she’s the one who has been masterminding the jewelry thefts.  Casey, who had been feeling pretty bad up until that point, promptly pulls out her badge.

I actually appreciated the fact that Casey basically blew her assignment in this episode.  Characters who are flawless and who never make mistakes are boring.  In the episode, Casey says that she was distracted by how much fun it was to pretend to be rich and it makes perfect sense.  Why wouldn’t the working class Casey enjoy the chance to live the high life for once?

The important thing is, even though she initially screwed up, Casey solved the case.  This was a good episode.  Casey wasn’t flawless but, in the end, luck was on her side.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.2 “The Veterans”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, the Bulls face a dilemma.  What to do with O.J. Simpson?

Episode 2.2 “The Veterans”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on September 1st, 1986)

This week, veteran running back T.D. Parker (O.J. Simpson) shows up for training camp.  All of the players are excited to see him.  At the bar where all of the Bulls hang out, Dr. Death (Donald Gibb) announces that T.D. Parker has had over one hundred injuries over the past twelve years but he’s still the heart and the soul of the Bulls franchise.  He’s the face of the team!  When people think of the Los Angeles Bulls, they think of T.D. Parker slashing through the other team on his way to an acquittal touchdown.

Speaking as a viewer, it seems kind of strange that this is the first that I’m really hearing about the legendary T.D. Parker.  Where was he last season?  The Bulls went all the way to the Championship Game but I never once heard anyone mention T.D. Parker.  I certainly didn’t see him in the locker room.  The Bulls actually had a totally different running back named Carl Witherspoon.  Oddly, Carl seems to have vanished this season….

As for T.D., his injuries are catching up with him.  Denardo and Diana are forced to confront that fact that T.D. can no longer cut it.  Even in practice, he’s spilling a lot of blood on the field.  Denardo cuts T.D. from the team. When T.D. says that football is all that he knows, Denardo announces that T.D. may not be playing but he’ll still be on the field …. AS A COACH!  T.D. looks confused.  He’ll figure it out eventually, I guess.

Meanwhile, Jeff East briefly returns as quarterback Bryce Smith but just long enough to fall out of a window at training camp and bust his knee.  (He was trying to keep the new kicker — a Bosnian played by future voice of the Crypt Keeper John Kassir — from sneaking out to go into town to get drunk.)  Bryce is done for the season.  Veteran quarterback and all-around druggie sleaze Johnny Valentine (Sam J. Jones) becomes the new starter and Tom Yinessa is brought back to be his backup.  That’ll make Yinessa’s roommate (Jeff Kaake) and Yinessa’s potential girlfriend (Katherine Kelly Lang) happy.

Finally, the NFL owners don’t want to give their players a pension or a raise.  They do, however, want to give them mandatory drug tests.  Diana protests but she’s overruled by the other owners, all of whom are male and in their 60s.  There’s a lot of toupees and cigars at the ownership meeting.

This episode was actually kind of entertaining.  That’s doesn’t mean it was good.  1st & Ten isn’t a really a show that’s ever good.  But this episode did feature Sam J. Jones giving a totally over the top performance as creepy quarterback Johnny Valentine.  Speaking of going over the top, the same can be said of Delta Burke’s performance this season.  It would appear that between seasons one and two, Burke realized there was no need to try to be in any way subtle in her line readings.  That was probably the right decision.

Next week …. who knows?  I’m getting a little bored with training camp so hopefully, we’ll move on!

Horror On TV: The Last Halloween (dir by Savage Steve Holland)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For tonight’s Halloween on television, we have the story of four aliens who came to Earth on Halloween and search for candy for their planet.  After an initial misunderstanding, two kids help the aliens in their search.  It’s sweet!

This was directed by Savage Steve Holland of Better Off Dead fame and it originally aired on October 28th, 1991.

 

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.23 “Vicki’s Dilemma/Discount Romance/Loser & Still Champ”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Vicki is accused of corrupting a passenger!

Episode 6.23 “Vicki’s Dilemma/Discount Romance/Loser & Still Champ”

(Dir by Jack Arnold, originally aired on March 5th, 1983)

Poor Vicki!  Finally, someone her own age — Mark Hammond (Glenn Scarpelli) — boards the boat and he turns out to be a speed freak!  In fact, he steals some amphetamines from Doc’s cabin.  (For some reason, Doc didn’t lock the medicine cabinet.  Y’know, people get fired for stuff like that….)  When the speeding Mark collapses on deck, Vicki is the first to help him.  And how does Mark thank her?  By slipping the stolen pills into Vicki’s pocket!

Mark’s mom (Elinor Donahue) accuses Vicki of getting her son hooked on speed.  Luckily, Mark has an attack of conscience and admits the truth.  (“I was going to let you take the fall but….” Mark says.)  Vicki and the Captain are surprisingly forgiving of Mark and his mom.  If I was in Vicki’s shoes, I can’t say I’d be quite so gracious about it.  Then again, I’ve been taking speed for ADD for most of my life so I would at least have an excuse for having the medicine.

Meanwhile, Gopher’s uncle (Red Buttons) boards the boat and starts selling watches out of his cabin.  He’s such a good salesman that he almost puts the boat’s gift shop out of business!  The owner of the gift shop is played by June Allyson and she’s not amused.  She and Red Button still end up falling in love though.

(I thought Juliet Mills was in charge of the gift shop.  When did June Allyson arrive?)

Finally, passenger Tom Joseph (Patrick Wayne) feels threatened because he’s got a crush on another passenger (Ann Turkel) who is a tennis star and much more athletic to him.  Every Love Boat has at least one boring story and this week, it was Tom’s story.

This was an okay episode.  Red Buttons and June Allyson were a cute old couple.  I appreciated the Vicki storyline, if just because it was one of the few times that I’ve seen this show acknowledge that Vicki really doesn’t get to spend much time with people her own age.  Captain Stubing confessed to worrying about whether or not life at sea was fair to Vicki and Gavin MacLeod delivered the lines with such sincerity that, for a few brief moments, The Love Boat became a serious drama.

This was a good cruise.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.3 “Rave On”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bike cops go undercover and essentially end up looking like a bunch of cops working undercover.

Episode 3.3 “Rave On”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on August 17, 1997)

The bike cops go undercover!

If that’s not funny enough, they go undercover as ravers.

I swear, you haven’t really laughed until you’ve laughed at the sight of the extremely stiff stars of Pacific Blue hanging out at a rave and giving each other secret signals whenever they spot anyone doing drugs.  Chris’s drink gets roofied and, as someone who has experienced that in real life, I appreciated that the show was trying to warn its viewers about leaving their drinks unattended.  Seriously, if my friends hadn’t been looking out for me that night, it scares me to think about what probably would have happened.  Still, good intentions can’t disguise just how unconvincing Darlene Vogel’s performance was.

Palermo spends this entire episode saying that the parents of teens who go to raves and take drugs should be prosecuted and jailed.  Then Palermo discovers that his sixteen year-old daughter (Johna Stewart-Boden) has been attending raves and, while she hasn’t intentionally taken any drugs, she’s stood by while her friends have.  Palermo does not arrest himself.  He does not throw himself in jail.  He does not look in the mirror and smirk and say, “Oh yeah, buddy, your parent-of-the-year.”  In other words, Lt. Palermo is a big, freaking hypocrite.

The bike cops break up the rave scene but the music will never die.

Horror On TV: The Paul Lynde Halloween Special (dir by Sid Smith)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight, from 1976, we have The Paul Lynde Halloween Special.  

In this special, actor and comedian Paul Lynde celebrates Halloween with Betty White, KISS, Donny and Marie Osmond, Florence Henderson, Billy Barty, Margaret Hamilton (the original Wicked Witch of the West), and I’m going to guess a mountain of cocaine that was probably sitting backstage.

This special is definitely a product of a very certain era in America’s cultural history.