What if Lisa Marie Picked The Oscar Nominees!


Oscar1

With the Oscar nominations due to be announced tomorrow, now is the time that the Shattered Lens indulges in a little something called, “What if Lisa had all the power.” Listed below are my personal Oscar nominations.  Please note that these are not the films that I necessarily think will be nominated.  The fact of the matter is that the many of them will not.  Instead, these are the films that would be nominated if I was solely responsible for deciding the nominees this year.  Winners are listed in bold.

(You’ll also note that I’ve added four categories, all of which I believe the Academy should adopt — Best Voice-Over Performance, Best Casting, Best Stunt Work, and Best Overall Use Of Music In A Film.)

(Click on the links to see my nominations for 2013, 2012, 2011, and 2010!)

2015 Best Picture Nominees

Best Picture

Boyhood

The Fault In Our Stars

Foxcatcher

The Grand Budapest Hotel

*Guardians of the Galaxy*

The LEGO Movie

Nightcrawler

Palo Alto

Under the Skin

Wild

600full-richard-linklater

Best Director

Wes Anderson for The Grand Budapest Hotel

Dan Gilroy for Nightcrawler

Jonathan Glazer for Under the Skin

James Gunn for Guardians of the Galaxy

*Richard Linklater for Boyhood*

Jean-Marc Vallee for Wild

Nightcrawler

Best Actor

Macon Blair in Blue Ruin

Nicholas Cage in Joe

Ralph Fiennes in The Grand Budapest Hotel

*Jake Gyllenhaal in Nightcrawler*

Tom Hardy in Locke

Michael Keaton in Birdman

reese-witherspoon-wild-slice

Best Actress

Scarlett Johansson in Under the Skin

Angelina Jolie in Maleficent

Rosamund Pike in Gone Girl

Emmanuelle Seigner in Venus In Fur

Shailene Woodley in The Fault In Our Stars

*Reese Witherspoon in Wild*

Gary Poulter in Joe

Best Supporting Actor

Josh Brolin in Inherent Vice

Steve Carell in Foxcatcher

Ethan Hawke in Boyhood

*Gary Poulter in Joe*

Mark Ruffalo in Foxcatcher

J.K. Simmons in Whiplash

968full-only-lovers-left-alive-screenshot

Best Supporting Actress

Patrica Arquette in Boyhood

Laura Dern in Wild

Emma Roberts in Palo Alto

Rene Russo in Nightcrawler

Emma Stone in Birdman

*Mia Wasikowska in Only Lovers Left Alive*

Vin-Diesel-is-Groot-Official-Guardians-of-the-Galaxy

Best Voice Over Performance

Scott Adsit in Big Hero 6

Bradley Cooper in Guardians of the Galaxy

Kate del Castillo in The Book of Life

*Vin Diesel in Guardians of the Galaxy*

Morgan Freeman in The LEGO Movie

Chris Pratt in The LEGO Movie

o-BOYHOOD-facebook

Best Original Screenplay

*Boyhood*

Chef

The Grand Budapest Hotel

The LEGO Movie

Nightcrawler

The One I Love

wildhorsedern 4

Best Adapted Screenplay

The Fault In Our Stars

Gone Girl

Guardians of the Galaxy

Palo Alto

Venus in Fur

*Wild*

Lego Movie

Best Animated Feature

Big Hero 6

The Book of Life

The Boxtrolls

How To Train Your Dragon 2

*The LEGO Movie*

JodorowskysDune

Best Documentary Feature

Art and Craft

*Jodorowsky’s Dune*

The Last Patrol

Life Itself

Private Violence

Under the Electric Sky

Venus_in_Fur_poster

Best Foreign Language Film

Borgman

Ida

Illiterate

The Raid 2

*Venus In Fur*

We Are The Best!

Boyhood Image

Best Casting

*Boyhood*

Foxcatcher

Joe

Snowpiercer

Under the Skin

Wild

Palo Alto

Best Cinematography

California Scheming

A Field In England

Foxcatcher

If I Stay

Nightcrawler

*Palo Alto*

Meryl-Streep-Into-The-Woods

Best Costume Design

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Guardians of the Galaxy

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part One

In Secret

*Into the Woods*

Pompeii

Film Review Under the Skin

Best Editing

Birdman

Boyhood

Guardians of the Galaxy

Nightcrawler

*Under the Skin*

Wild

Guardians-of-the-Galaxy-gang

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Foxcatcher

*Guardians of the Galaxy*

The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies

Inherent Vice

Into the Woods

Maleficent

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Best Original Score

California Scheming

A Field in England

Gone Girl

Guardians of the Galaxy

Nightcrawler

*Under the Skin*

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Best Original Song

“Lost Stars” from Begin Again

“The Apology Song” from The Book of Life

“Split the Difference” from Boyhood

“Yellow Flicker Beats” from The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part One

*”Everything is Awesome” from The LEGO Movie*

“Sister Rust” from Lucy

“Mercy” from Noah

“Hal” from Only Lovers Left Alive

“Rock Star” from Palo Alto

“Summer Nights” from Under the Electric Sky

GuardiandoftheGalaxy

Best Overall Use Of Music

Begin Again

Boyhood

A Field in England

*Guardians of the Galaxy*

Only Lovers Left Alive

Whiplash

The-Grand-Budapest-Hotel-580

Best Production Design

*The Grand Budapest Hotel*

Guardians of the Galaxy

Inherent Vice

Into the Woods

Snowpiercer

Winter’s Tale

Fury

Best Sound Editing

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

A Field in England

*Fury*

Guardians of the Galaxy

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Capt2-Payoff-1-Sht-v8-Lg-c563d

Best Sound Mixing

*Captain America: The Winter Soldier*

A Field in England

Fury

Guardians of the Galaxy

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Dawn-Of-The-Planet-Of-The-Apes3-e1396236946120

Best Stunt Work

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

*Dawn of the Planet of the Apes*

Divergent

In the Blood

Raze

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Guardians-of-the-Galaxy-rocket-with-gun

Best Visual Effects

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Edge of Tomorrow

Godzilla

*Guardians of the Galaxy*

Interstellar

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Number of Nominations by Film

14 Nominations — Guardians of the Galaxy

9 Nominations — Boyhood

8 Nominations — Nightcrawler

7 Nominations — Wild

6 Nominations — Foxcatcher, The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Lego Movie, Under the Skin

5 Nominations —  A Field in England, Palo Alto

4 Nominations — X-Men: Days of Future Past

3 Nominations — Birdman, The Book of LifeCapt. America: The Winter Soldier, The Fault In Our Stars, Gone Girl, Inherent Vice, Into the WoodsJoe, Only Lovers Left AliveVenus in Fur

2 Nominations — Begin AgainBig Hero 6, California SchemingDawn of the Planet of Apes, Fury, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five ArmiesThe Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part OneMaleficent, SnowpiercerUnder the Electric SkyWhiplash

1 Nomination — Art and CraftBlue Ruin, BorgmanThe Box Trolls, ChefDivergent, Edge of Tomorrow, Godzilla, How To Train Your Dragon 2, Ida, If I StayIlliterate, In SecretIn the Blood, Interstellar, Jodorowsky’s Dune, The Last Patrol, Life ItselfLocke, Lucy, NoahThe One I Love, Pompeii, Private ViolenceThe Raid 2Raze, We Are The Best!, Winter’s Tale

Numbers of Oscars By Film

5 Oscars — Guardians of the Galaxy

3 Oscars — Boyhood

2 Oscars — The LEGO Movie, Under the Skin, Wild

1 Oscar — Capt. America: The Winter Soldier, Dawn of the Plaent of the Apes, Jodorowsky’s Dune, Fury, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Into the Woods, Joe, Nightcrawler, Only Lovers Left Alive, Palo Alto, Venus In Fur

Oscars

Here They Are! Lisa’s Final 2014 Oscar Predictions!


Hey!  It's the picture from Boyhood that we've used a few dozen times over the past two months!

Hey! It’s that picture from Boyhood that we’ve used a few dozen times since November!

Well, it’s been a long and tortured road since I first started this monthly series of Oscar predictions way back in March.  Some contenders have faded.  Some have come out of nowhere.  And some — like Boyhood and J.K. Simmons in Whiplash — have remained consistently strong for the entire year.

Here are my final 2014 Oscar predictions.  The actual Oscar predictions will be announced on Thursday.

(You can check out my predictions of March, April, May, June, July, AugustOctober, November, and December by clicking on the links in this sentence!)

Best Picture

American Sniper

Birdman

Boyhood

The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Imitation Game

Nightcrawler

Selma

The Theory of Everything

Whiplash

Best Actor

Bradley Cooper in American Sniper

Benedict Cumberbatch in The Imitation Game

Jake Gyllenhaal in Nightcrawler

Michael Keaton in Birdman

Eddie Redmayne in The Theory of Everything

(Where’s David Oyelowo?  Originally, I did list him but I don’t know.  With the guild awards, it seems like Selma is losing momentum and American Sniper is gaining it.  I know that a lot of watchers are saying this is due to the Selma screeners being sent out late and that could well be true.  Hopefully, I’ll get to see both Selma and American Sniper this weekend but, until then, I can’t offer an opinion on whether either one deserves to be nominated.  But it’s hard not to feel as if Selma is not shaping up to be quite the Oscar powerhouse that a lot of us were expecting it to be.  We’ll see.)

Best Actress

Jennifer Aniston in Cake

Felicity Jones in The Theory of Everything

Julianne Moore in Still Alice

Rosamund Pike in Gone Girl

Reese Witherspoon in Wild

Best Supporting Actor

Robert Duvall in The Judge

Ethan Hawke in Boyhood

Edward Norton in Birdman

Mark Ruffalo in Foxcatcher

J.K. Simmons in Whiplash

(I still have a hard time believe that Robert Duvall is going to be nominated for The Judge because Duvall was good but not great and the movie kind of sucked.  But, honestly, who else are they going to nominate?  Josh Brolin deserves the spot for Inherent Vice but the film is probably a little bit too odd for a lot of voters.  Maybe if Unbroken‘s Miyavi or Gone Girl‘s Tyler Perry had a little more screen time, they could make a case.  But ultimately, that fifth spot does seem to be Duvall’s.)

Best Supporting Actress

Patrica Arquette in Boyhood

Jessica Chastain in A Most Violent Year

Keira Knightley in The Imitation Game

Emma Stone in Birdman

Naomi Watts in St. Vincent

(I’m going to go out on a limb and predict Watts over Meryl Streep.  Why not?  There always seems to be at least one surprise acting nominee.)

Best Director

Wes Anderson for The Grand Budapest Hotel

Clint Eastwood for American Sniper

Alejandro G. Inarritu for Birdman

Richard Linklater for Boyhood

Morten Tyldum for The Imitation Game

So there they are!  My final “for real” predictions.  Tomorrow, I’ll be posting my annual “If Lisa Had All The Power” post, which will be my personal nominations, the films and performances that I would nominate if I had all the power.  And then, on Thursday, the Oscar nominations will be announced!

Need to kill some time?  Look through all the posts since November and count up how many times this picture has appeared on the site!

Need to kill some time? Look through all the posts since November and count up how many times this picture has appeared on the site!

Check Out The Half Popped Review Movie Awards For 2014!


boyhood0612

Okay, one last precursor for tonight.  The Half Popped Reviews Year End Movie Awards were voted on by a group of dedicated film bloggers and they’re important to me because I was one of the voters!  You can check out the full details of the voting by clicking here and I suggest that you do because I am quoted all through the article!

(And, incidentally, I would recommend that all of my fellow movie bloggers check out the Half-Popped website.  It’s a good way to see what other smart and witty people are saying about the movies and it’s also a good way to gain exposure for your own work.)

Here are the winners!

Favorite Comedy: The LEGO Movie (runner up: 22 Jump Street)

Favorite Thriller: Gone Girl (runner up: Nightcrawler)

Favorite Horror Flick: The Babadook (runner-up: Under The Skin)

Favorite Sci-Fi: Interstellar (runner-up: The One I Love)

Favorite Drama Movie: Boyhood (runner-up: Locke)

Favorite Action Movie: Edge of Tomorrow (runner-up: The Raid 2)

Best Sequel: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (runner-up: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes)

Worst Sequel: Transformers: Age of Extinction (runner-up: The Amazing Spider-Man 2)

Super Hero of the Year: Star-lord (runner-up: Lego Batman)

Best Adaptation: Gone Girl (runner-up: Guardians of the Galaxy)

Worst Adaptation: The Legend of Hercules (runner-up: Sin City 2: A Dame To Kill For)

Most Disappointing Movie: The Monuments Men (runner-up: Transcendence)

Most Surprisingly Good Movie: Locke (runner-up: Chef)

Best Visuals: Interstellar (runner-up: The Grand Budapest Hotel)

Best Director: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu for Birdman (runner-up: Richard Linklater for Boyhood)

Best Actress: Rosamund Pike in Gone Girl (runner-up: Scarlett Johansson in Under the Skin)

Best Actor: Jake Gyllenhaal in Nightcrawler and Enemy (runner-up: Tom Hardy in Locke and The Drop)

Best Picture: Boyhood (runner-up: Under the Skin)

Most Enjoyable Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy (runner-up: The LEGO Movie)

Most Anticipated Film of 2015: Star Wars Episode VII (runner-up: Avengers: Age of Ultron)

Here Are The Films That Won In Houston!


nightcrawler-still

Here are the winners of the Houston Film Critics Society awards!  You can check out the full list of nominees by clicking here!

Houston picked Jack Gyllenhaal for best actor! Love you, Houston!

  • Best Picture – “Boyhood”
  • Best Director – Richard Linklater, “Boyhood”
  • Best Actor – Jake Gyllenhaal, “Nightcrawler”
  • Best Actress – Julianne Moore, “Still Alice”
  • Best Supporting Actor – J.K. Simmons, “Whiplash”
  • Best Supporting Actress – Patricia Arquette, “Boyhood”
  • Best Screenplay – Richard Linklater, “Boyhood”
  • Best Animated Film – “The LEGO Movie”
  • Best Cinematography – Emmanuel Lubezki, “Birdman”
  • Best Documentary – “Citizenfour”
  • Best Foreign Film – “Force Majeure”
  • Best Original Score – Alexandre Desplat, “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
  • Best Original Song – “Everything is Awesome” by Shawn Patterson and Joshua Bartholomew & Lisa Harriton and The Lonely Island, for “The LEGO Movie”
  • Best Poster Design – Annie Atkins for “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
  • Worst Picture – “The Identical”
  • Texas Independent Film Award – “Boyhood”
  • Humanitarian Award – Joe Hall, Ghetto Film School
  • Lifetime Achievement Award – Larry McMurtry
  • Outstanding Achievement – Rick Ferguson and the Houston Film Commission
  • Technical Achievement – “Boyhood”

Yay! Here Are The Alliance of Women Film Journalists Award Winners!


Film Review Under the Skin

That’s right, I said “Yay!”  And believe it or not, I’m not at all being snarky.  The AWFJ awards are always some of my favorite of the annual precursor awards.  Not only do they provide a different (and, let’s just be honest, better) perspective than the other male-dominated critical societies but they also have a lot of extra (some fun and some thought-provoking) categories.

Here are their picks for the best of 2014!  I especially appreciate and agree with the recognition given to Under the Skin and Emily Blunt’s performance in Edge of Tomorrow.

Best Film
BOYHOOD

Best Director (Female or Male)
Richard Linklater for BOYHOOD

Best Screenplay, Original
BIRDMAN – Alejandro Gonzales Inarritu, Nicholas Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris, Armando Bo

Best Screenplay, Adapted
GONE GIRL – Gillian Flynn

Best Documentary
CITIZENFOUR – Laura Poitras

Best Animated Film
LEGO – Phil Lord, Christopher Miller

Best Actress
Julianne Moore for STILL ALICE

Best Actress in a Supporting Role
Tilda Swinton for SNOWPIERCER

Best Actor
Michael Keaton for BIRDMAN

Best Actor in a Supporting Role
J.K. Simmons for WHIPLASH

Best Ensemble Cast (tie)
BIRDMAN – Francine Maisler, Casting Director
and
GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL – Douglas Aibel (US), Antoinette Boulat (France), Simone Bar, Alexandra Montag (Germany), Debra Maxwell Dion (LA), Jina Jay (UK)

Best Editing
BIRDMAN – Douglas Crise, Stephen Mirrione

Best Cinematography
BIRDMAN – Emmanuel Lubezki

Best Film Music Or Score
BIRDMAN – Antonio Sanchez

Best Non-English-Language Film
IDA – Pavel Pawlikowski (Poland)

EDA FEMALE FOCUS AWARDS
These awards honor WOMEN only.

Best Woman Director
Ava DuVernay for SELMA

Best Woman Screenwriter
Gillian Flynn for GONE GIRL

Best Female Action Star
Emily Blunt for EDGE OF TOMORROW

Best Breakthrough Performance
Gugu Mbatha-Raw for BELLE

Female Icon of the Year (tie)
(a woman whose work in film and/or in life made a difference)
Ava DuVernay
and
Laura Poitras

EDA SPECIAL MENTION AWARDS

Best Depiction Of Nudity, Sexuality, or Seduction
UNDER THE SKIN – Scarlett Johansson

Actress Defying Age and Ageism
Tilda Swinton

Most Egregious Age Difference Between The Leading Man and The Love Interest
MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT – Colin Firth (b. 1960) and Emma Stone (b. 1988)

Actress Most in Need Of A New Agent
Cameron Diaz for SEX TAPE

Movie You Wanted To Love, But Just Couldn’t
INHERENT VICE

The Denver Film Critics Society Announce Their Picks For The Best of 2014!


American Sniper

American Sniper

The Denver Film Critics Society announced their picks for the best of the year and guess what?  They picked the suddenly surging American Sniper, which just goes to show how unpredictable this year could potentially be.

Best Picture: “American Sniper”

Best Director: Richard Linklater, “Boyhood”

Best Actor: (tie) Ralph Fiennes, “The Grand Budapest Hotel,” Bradley Cooper, “American Sniper”

Best Actress: Rosamund Pike, “Gone Girl”

Best Supporting Actor: J.K. Simmons, “Whiplash

Best Supporting Actress: Patricia Arquette, “Boyhood”

Best Animated Film: “The Lego Movie”

Best Science Fiction/Horror Film: “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”

Best Comedy: “Guardians of the Galaxy”

Best Original Screenplay: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Nicolas Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris, Armando Bo, “Birdman”

Best Adapted Screenplay: Paul Thomas Anderson, “Inherent Vice”

Best Documentary: “The Overnighters”

Best Cinematography: Emmanuel Lubezki, “Birdman”

Best Original Song: “Everything Is Awesome,” Tegan and Sara, “The Lego Movie”

Best Score: Antonio Sanchez, “Birdman”

Best Foreign Language Film: “Two Days, One Night”

 

Here Are the Gay and Lesbian Critic Association Nominees!


Here are the nominees for the GALECA Dorian Awards!

Film of the Year
Birdman – Fox Searchlight
Boyhood – Sundance Selects/IFC
The Grand Budapest Hotel – Fox Searchlight
The Imitation Game – The Weinstein Company
Pride – CBS Films

Film Performance of the Year – Actor
Steve Carell, Foxcatcher – Sony Pictures Classics
Benedict Cumberbatch, The Imitation Game – The Weinstein Company
Jake Gyllenhaal, Nightcrawler – Open Road
Michael Keaton, Birdman – Fox Searchlight
Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything – Universal

Film Performance of the Year – Actress
Essie Davis, The Babadook – Sundance Selects/IFC
Anne Dorval, Mommy – Roadside Attractions
Julianne Moore, Still Alice – Sony Pictures Classics
Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl – 20th Century Fox
Reese Witherspoon, Wild – Fox Searchlight

Film Director of the Year
Wes Anderson, The Grand Budapest Hotel – Fox Searchlight
Ava DuVernay, Selma – Paramount
David Fincher, Gone Girl – 20th Century Fox
Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Birdman – Fox Searchight
Richard Linklater, Boyhood – Sundance Selects/IFC

LGBTQ Film of the Year
The Imitation Game – The Weinstein Company
Love is Strange – Sony Pictures Classics
Pride – CBS Films
Stranger by the Lake – Strand Releasing
The Way He Looks – Strand Releasing

Foreign Language Film of the Year
Force Majeure – Magnolia Pictures
Ida – Music Box Films
Mommy – Roadside Attractions
Stranger by the Lake – Strand Releasing
Two Days, One Night – Sundance Selects/IFC

Unsung Film of the Year
Obvious Child – A24
Love is Strange – Sony Pictures Classics
Pride – CBS Films
The Skeleton Twins – Roadside Attractions
Snowpiercer – Radius/TWC

Documentary of the Year
(theatrical release, TV airing or DVD release)
The Case Against 8 – HBO
CitizenFour – Radius/TWC
Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me – Sundance Selects
Life Itself – Magnolia Pictures
Regarding Susan Sontag – HBO

Visually Striking Film of the Year
(honoring a production of stunning beauty, from art direction to cinematography)
Birdman – Fox Searchlight
The Grand Budapest Hotel – Fox Searchlight
Interstellar – Paramount
Snowpiercer – Radius/TWC
Under the Skin – A24

Campy Flick of the Year
Annie
Gone Girl
Into the Woods
Maleficent
Tammy

Here are the DGA Nominations!


The DGA nominations were announced today and the big news will probably be that Ava Duvernay was not nominated for Selma.  Though I’m sure that Sasha Stone will claim this is because the Tea Party has somehow taken over Hollywood, others are suggesting that it could be that the majority of the DGA members did not receive a screener for Selma.

(I haven’t seen Selma yet so I can’t say anything about whether it deserves to be nominated or not.  I have to admit that it worries me to see how stridently the people at Awards Daily are pushing it because I have a theory that the editor of that site promotes films that she knows won’t be nominated so she’ll have an excuse to be all holier-than-thou as a result.  Case in point: the site’s  fanatic insistence that David Fincher’s offensively sexist rehash of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo was best picture-worthy,  which needless to say is an interesting position for someone who claims to be a feminist to take.)

Anyway, here are the directors who were nominated:

Wes Anderson for The Grand Budapest Hotel

Clint Eastwood for American Sniper

Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu for Birdman

Richard Linklater for Boyhood

Morten Tyldum for The Imitation Game

Eastwood

 

 

Here’s What Won At The Golden Globes!


Film Awards

Best Film (Drama) — Boyhood

Best Drama Actor — Eddie Redmayne in The Theory of Everything

Best Drama Actress — Julianne Moore in Still Alice

Best Film (Comedy) — The Grand Budapest Hotel

Best Comedy Actor — Michael Keaton in Birdman

Best Comedy Actress — Amy Adams in Big Eyes

Best Supporting Actor — J.K. Simmons in Whiplash

Best Supporting Actress — Patricia Arquette in Boyhood

Best Director — Richard Linklater for Boyhood

Best Screenplay — Birdman

Best Animated Feature — How To Train Your Dragon 2

Best Score — The Theory of Everything

Best Original Song — “Glory” from Selma

TV Awards

Best Drama Series — The Affair

Best Drama Actor — Kevin Spacey in House of Cards

Best Drama Actress — Ruth Wilson in The Affair

Best Comedy Series — Transparent

Best Comedy Actor — Jeffrey Tambor in Transparent

Best Comedy Actress — Gina Rodriguez in Jane the Virgin

Best TV Movie/Limited Series — Fargo

Best TV Movie/Limited Series Actor — Billy Bob Thornton in Fargo

Best TV Movie/Limited Series Actress — Maggie Gyllenhaal in The Honourable Woman

Best TV Supporting Actor — Matt Bomer in The Normal Heart

Best TV Supporting Actress — Joanne Froggatt in Downton Abbey

A Few Thoughts On The 2015 Golden Globes!


GG

So, normally, this where I’d make a few disparaging remarks about the nature of celebrity in American society and also a few jokes about how my boobs are the real golden globes.  But I’m not going to do that.  (Or, at the very least, I’m not going to do that right now.)  At this moment, as I think back on the Golden Globes, I am too excited to be snarky.

This was a historic night.

For perhaps the first time in Golden Globe history, both of the winnings films — The Grand Budapest Hotel for comedy and Boyhood for drama — were directed by native Texans.  Richard Linklater grew up around Houston and lives in Austin.  Meanwhile, Wes Anderson was raised in Dallas and, along with Owen and Luke Wilson, attended St. Mark’s!

That’s right, America.

Two great films won tonight and you have my homestate to thank for both of them.

Take that, Vermont!

(Just kidding, Vermont.  I remember how sensitive people are up there.)

(Because, God forbid, there should ever be a moment when anyone dares joke about a state north of West Virginia.)

(Love you, mean it.)

It was a good night.  Not only were my fellow Texans honored but so were my fellow redheads.  Amy Adams won Best Actress (Comedy) for Big Eyes.  Julianne Moore won Best Actress (Drama) for Still Alice.  I have yet to see either one of those films so I can’t really say much about either performance but, for me, it doesn’t matter.  After spending years of having to deal with the rampant anti-redhead prejudice that runs through this society, it was good to finally to see some of my flame-haired sisters getting some recognition.

In other news, Michael Keaton won for Best Actor (Comedy) for Birdman and he gave a speech that nearly made me cry.  Patricia Arquette won Best Supporting Actress for Boyhood and gave a speech that did make me cry.  And then Amy Adams gave her acceptance speech and it was so heartfelt and eloquent that it should be the speech by which all future speeches are judged.  Before any of those three won, J.K. Simmons picked up Best Supporting Actor for his performance in Whiplash and he gave an acceptance speech that left me amazed that such an intimidating actor could also be such a nice guy.

In many ways, it was a great night.

And then, in some other ways, it most definitely was not a great night.

For the most part, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler seemed to just be going through the motions, secure in the knowledge that people would laugh and applaud regardless of what they actually said because, at this point, people feel obligated to do so. However, good for them for calling out Bill Cosby on his bullshit and saying what everyone knows is true.

I was not a fan of Margaret Cho’s North Korean observer.  Not only was it offensive but it was a bit hypocritical as well.  This is an industry that, up until three weeks ago, was terrified of North Korea, to the extent that they were even willing to shut down movies to avoid offending a dictator who is a legitimate contender for the title of Worst Living Human Being.  However, the Alamo Drafthouse — a Texas theater, I might add — had the guts to show The Interview, the world did not end, and now suddenly Hollywood wants credit for standing up to North Korea.

Of course, the main reason that the film industry is willing to make fun of North Korea is because there’s no money to be made there.  The people who are patting themselves on the back for “standing up” to North Korea are probably the same people who rationalize doing business with equally oppressive but far more financially lucrative regimes across the world.

Finally, I guess my main problem with the Golden Globes this year is that it just wasn’t the type of train wreck that we’ve come to expect from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.  All of the presenters (except for Ricky Gervais) appeared to be sober.  Only one winner had to have his speech censored.  (A lot of people on twitter loved Kevin Spacey’s acceptance speech.  I thought it came across as being calculating and manipulative — which, I guess, is one reason why Spacey makes for such a convincing Frank Underwood.)  Everyone was on their best behavior.

And I can understand that.  With the murders in Paris and the worldwide attacks on free speech, this was perhaps the time for everyone to be serious.  But, still, I wanted to see just one thoroughly incoherent speech.  That’s what we watch the Golden Globes for, isn’t it?

So, ultimately, a mixed review for the Golden Globes.  Ultimately, though, it was a good night for Texas filmmakers so I’m happy.

Add to that, it gave me my annual excuse to arch my back and declare, “I’ll show you a pair of golden globes!”

It was a good night.