Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.
This week, it’s a 4th of July episode that aired in September.
Episode 2.6 “Brian’s Girlfriend”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 24th, 1994)
Oh Hell, it’s another country club episode.
The country club is having a tip competition for the 4th of July. Whoever gets the most tips will have their earnings matched by the club. Megan wants to win so she can send her parents on a cruise. (How did Bayside go from being a school full of wealthy trust fund brats to one full of poor people?) Bobby decides to give her all of his tips so she can win. That sounds like cheating to me.
Meanwhile, due to Screech’s stupidity, Mr. Belding ends up with a terrible sunburn. (Screech was supposed to bring the sunscreen but he brought salad dressing instead.) This leads to countless scenes of Screech slapping Belding on the back and causing him agonizing pain. Ha ha, I guess.
Meanwhile, Brian makes Rachel jealous by pretending to like the new tennis instructor (Brittney Powell). She likes him too, even though he’s like 16. When a guilt-stricken Brian finally admits that he was only pretending to like her, the tennis instructor says, “You’re a jerk!” and she’s right. But I guess it doesn’t matter because Brian’s plan works and he and Rachel end up sharing a kiss while watching the 4th of July fireworks.
What type of show airs their 4th of July episode in September?
The country club episodes are so annoying. If I wanted to watch people work, I could just go hang out at Target for 30 minutes.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, Mr. Belding is desperately trying to find someone to date his niece. Meanwhile, Zack is trying to avoid being suspended….
Episode 2.6 “Blind Dates”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 13th, 1990)
Mr. Belding needs someone to go on a blind date with his niece Penny but every guy at the school screams in horror at the idea. However, Zack has just received his tenth detention and is facing the prospect of being suspended for a week. Belding makes Zack an offer that he can’t refuse. If Zack goes on a date with Penny, he won’t be suspended. This sounds like the type of thing that could get Belding fired but instead, Zack agrees to go on the date….
Except Zack already has plans for that night! Kelly is having her birthday party at the Max!
Zack’s solution? Put a blonde wig on Screech and have him take Penny on the date.
I notice that Zack’s solutions always seem to involve Screech pretending to be someone other than Screech. Penny (Jodi Peterson) turns out to be a totally normal girl and she has a great time with Screech when they go to …. Kelly’s birthday party! Of course, Penny thinks Screech is Zack and that Zack is Screech and just writing all of this is making my head hurt. When Kelly finds out that Penny is planning on going home with “Zack,” Kelly calls her “an un-nice person,” which is a pretty neat turn of phrase. But then Kelly learns the truth and, to Slater’s chagrin, Kelly falls even more in love with Zack.
Meanwhile, Jessie freaks out because her blind date, Brett (Timothy Williams), is several inches shorter than her. I have to say that Jessie’s recurring insecurity about being tall was one of the few things that Saved By The Bell consistently handled well. (It certainly handled it better than her later caffeine pill addiction.) Brett was adorable and it was kind of sweet that he eventually won Jessie over just by being a really cool guy.
Jessie’s storyline aside, this is the type of Saved By The Bell episode that drives me crazy. Most of the conflict — actually, all of the conflict — could have been avoided by everyone just not being an idiot. It’s hard to believe that Zack couldn’t come up with a solution to his problems that didn’t involve putting a blonde wig on Screech. I get that Belding was desperate to find a date for Penny but the idea that he would turn to Zack, even under the most extreme of circumstances, seemed like a reach.
Probably the funniest moment in this episode was when Zack learned he had received his tenth detention and everyone in the studio audience groaned. Don’t worry, folks. Zack will be okay!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.
Hey, it’s time for yet another school carnival!
Episode 2.5 “Squash It”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 25th, 1994)
Because no one at this school actually has to go to class or anything, it’s time for the annual Bayside carnival! Who will win the prize for best booth?
Will it be Tommy and Lindsay’s kissing booth? Neither Tommy nor Lindsay are happy about the idea of either one of them kissing anyone else. So why did they agree to a kissing booth in the first place?
Will it be Rachel and Brian’s dunk tank? When Belding comes down with a cold, Brian takes Belding’s place as the dunkee. Everyone wants to dunk Brian because he’s spent a week deliberately insulting everyone. However, Brian has rigged the tank so he won’t fall in the water. “You forgot to release the safety!” Belding says, not realizing that there’s a reason for that. Uh-oh. Soon, Brian is soaked and the audience is saying, “Woooo!”
Will it be Megan and Bobby’s mind-reading booth? Let’s hope not because that’s really dumb. Bobby also has to remove his mind-reading turban so he can fight a bully. Fortunately, Screech has taught him karate!
I know this all sounds terrible but this is actually a pretty cute episode. Instead of being Screech-centered, this episode actually allows every member of the cast to have at least one moment to shine. (I hate to keep pointing this out but the season 2 cast has a far more appealing chemistry than the season 1 cast.) Even Screech teaching Bobby karate is amusing. There’s nothing subtle about Dustin Diamond’s performance but, for once, the broad humor actually works. Add to that, Bobby learns how to fight but then he chooses not to. Hey, that’s actually a good lesson, even if it is a bit anticlimatic.
We never learn who wins the Best Booth prize. I would have given it to Brian and Rachel. They’re a cute couple, even if they’re not technically dating. (It also helps if you don’t think about the fact that there was a 8 year age-difference between the actors.)
All in all, this was a good episode. I’m as shocked as anyone.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, Screech’s parents are gone. It’s time to party like Elvis!
Episode 2.5 “House Party”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 6th, 1990)
Mrs. Powers (Ruth Buzzi) and her husband go to Graceland for their anniversary, leaving Screech alone for a few days. It’s time to have the boys over so that they can lip-sync to the Beach Boys! Unfortunately, when the girls come over to laugh at the boys, a bust of Elvis is shattered. It’ll cost $250 to replace! Despite the fact that all of the main characters — with the exception of Kelly and Slater — come from wealthy families, everyone claims to not have any money. You know who does have money? Max Nerdstrom (Jeff Asch)! Max also has a girlfriend named Violet (Tori Spelling), who has a crush on Screech. (Or Samuel, as she calls him.)
This is an important episode in the history of Saved By The Bell, in that it not only introduces us to Violet Bickerstaff but it also establishes that Tori Spelling was bad actress even before she was cast on 90210. (If anything, Spelling is actually better-cast as Violet than as Donna Martin because Violet was at least supposed to be awkward and cringey.) This episode also introduced us to Max Nerdstrom, a great character who only appeared once but who should have been a regular member of the cast. That said, it’s also obvious that the only reason this episode was made was so Slater, Screech, and Zack could do the Barbara Ann scene. It’s all pretty obviously ripped off from Risky Business, just without the prostitutes and Tangerine Dream soundtrack.
How to raise the money to replace the statue? Zack challenged Max to a poker game and ends up losing not only another $250 but also the Powers family dog. If Zack had $250 to lose in a poker game, how come he didn’t have it to buy a new Elvis? Seriously, don’t try to follow Bayside logic. Jessie has to go on a date with Max in order to get the dog bac and Zack throws a party to raise money for the new statue. Mrs. Powers arrives home early and announces that she told Screech that he wasn’t allowed to throw any parties. Zack announces that it’s a surprise anniversary party for Mrs. Powers and her husband (who is apparently just sitting out in the car while all this is going on). Why would a bunch of teenagers throw an anniversary party for a 50-something Elvis fan?
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.
This week, it’s time to learn a lesson about giving blood.
Episode 2.4 “Blood Money”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 17th, 1994)
Megan is running the school blood drive but no one wants to give blood. Mr. Belding tries to teach everyone a lesson by volunteering but he’s informed by nurse Penny Brady (Emma Caulfield) that he has high cholesterol. Not only does Belding need to start an exercise regimen but he’s apparently too fat to chaperone the school’s hiking trip.
Not wanting the school’s butch gym teacher to chaperone the trip, Brian decides that Screech should be the chaperone. However, Screech is depressed because he has a crush on Penny but he can’t work up the courage to ask her out. Brian tells Penny that he’ll get everyone in the school to donate blood if she agrees to go out with Screech….
Ugh. This is another Screech-is-in-love episode. Dustin Diamond was nowhere near as bad during season 2 as he would be in later seasons but still, watching the previously asexual Screech date someone is not a pleasant experience. Penny discovers that she actually likes Screech (why?) but then Screech hears that she was bribed to go out with him and he gets his feelings hurt.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HIKING TRIP?
Seriously, screw the hiking trip. Why is this school always sponsoring a trip somewhere? Just give people their diplomas and stay out of their lives….
Oh no, Tommy D’s previously unseen best friend was in a motorcycle accident! And he has a very rare blood type! Only Screech can save him! Screech gives blood, everyone apologizes for setting him up, and Screech agrees to chaperone the trip and to continue dating Penny. I’m going to guess that didn’t last since Screech ended up dating Allison while working at the country club over the summer.
Meanwhile, some poor biker has gallons of Screech inside of him.
What an episode. The whole problem with the first season is that the students were not very likable. Now, the show actually has likable students but all of the attention is on Screech. It’s like this show just wanted to fail!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, it’s time to learn how to drive!
Episode 2.4 “Driver’s Education”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 29th, 1990)
Good Lord, Zack Morris is so insecure!
Even though Zack and Kelly have been dating since the prom, Zack still fears that Kelly will dump him when Slater turns 16 and gets his driver’s license. Slater’s already got a car. Sure, the car looks bad at first but Slater says he’s going to fix it up and, one jump cut later, he’s got a pretty badass red convertible.
Zack’s solution? If you thought Zack would respond by resolving to be such a great boyfriend that Kelly wouldn’t leave him, you don’t know Zack Morris! Instead, Zack comes up with a ludicrously complicated scheme to cause Slater to flunk driver’s education.
A few words about driver’s ed at Bayside:
First off, driver’s ed is one of the many classes that is taught by Mr. Tuttle (Jack Angeles). Last season, Mr. Tuttle inspired the creation of Buddy Bands. This season, he’s teaching the students how to drive and complaining that he should have been named principal instead of “Mr. Balding.” Mr. Tuttle was one of the few recurring teachers on Saved By The Bell and Jack Angeles, who was an attorney in real life, was a good comedic actor. It’s almost always a good sign when Tuttle shows up.
Secondly, at Bayside, students aren’t required to actually drive a car. Instead, they drive this thing:
Seriously, this thing has got three wheels and apparently, it’s not supposed to leave the classroom. How are you going to learn how to drive in this thing!? To his credit, Mr. Belding mentions that he’s often told Tuttle to get rid of this half-assed attempt at a car.
Zack’s plan is to take the driver’s ed car out of the classroom so that Slater can give him a private lesson. Slater will get caught in the faux car and somehow, this will lead to him getting kicked out of class. (Since it’s established that Slater already knows how to drive, couldn’t he just go down to the DMV and take the test regardless of the class?) However, Kelly asks Slater for a ride, Zack attempts to get Kelly out of the fake car, and the pretend car ends up crashing into a locker. Slater, Zack, and Kelly run for it.
In order to get Zack to confess, Kelly pretends to have amnesia. When Zack announces that he will not only confess but that he’ll also get Kelly the best medical care available (good luck doing with with no car, Zack!), Kelly says that she knew “Zack” would do the right thing. Hearing his name, Zack realizes that Kelly never had amnesia. Zack says that he’s not going to confess and it won’t matter because what’s Belding going to do? Flunk everyone?
The next day, at the start of class, Belding announces that he’s flunking everyone.
At first, Kelly stands up says that she’s to blame. Slater jumps up and accepts responsibility because Slater’s a soldier at heart. Realizing that Slater now looks a lot better than him, Zack finally admits that he’s the one who took the driver’s ed car out of the classroom. The end result is that Zack flunks, Slater gets two weeks of detention, and Kelly gets …. no punishment at all.
This was actually a pretty enjoyable episode. I mean, it was dumb but that’s par for the course when it comes to Saved By The Bell. This episode features a lot of Tuttle comedy and Mario Lopez once again outacting everyone else in the cast. That’s what Saved By The Bell is all about.
This was a live music program that aired on certain PBS stations. On Friday night, I watched a concert given by Lake Street Drive. Musically, they were very talented but a little mellow for my tastes.
Burning Love (Prime)
I bought all three seasons of Burning Love this week. On Wednesday, I watched the first season. Ken Marino was Mark Orlando, a fireman looking for love on a reality dating show. “Will you accept my hose?” “Please put your hose in my hands.” I laughed and laughed. If nothing else, it made up for not having a new season of The Bachelorette.
The Cult Behind The Killer: The Andrea Yates Story (Hulu)
I watched this documentary on Wednesday and Thursday. Over three episode, it revisited the horrific crimes of Andrea Yates and suggested that she was brainwashed by a street preacher. It didn’t really convince me. Obviously, Yates claimed that she was driven to murder by her beliefs but I think that, even if she had never heard a sermon in her life, she would have eventually become a murderer. Some people are just evil and will use whatever they can as a justification.
This documentary featured interviews with two people who were former members of the preacher’s cult. Former cult members always make for terrible witnesses because it’s hard to have much respect for anyone who could get brainwashed in the first place.
Dr. Phil (YouTube)
I watched an episode on Saturday about fighting in-laws. They should have just called off the wedding.
Election Coverage (Tuesday)
As someone who pretends not to follow politics, I made sure to pretend that I wasn’t glued to Tuesday’s election coverage. I did a little cheering, I’ll admit it.
Family Lockup (Disney+)
I watched the first episode of this true crime show on Wednesday. The father of a prisoner spent 72 hours in jail so he could talk to his son and see what it was like to be on the inside. At the end of the episode, the son was released and his father was waiting for him. Awww!
George Gently (YouTube)
I watched an episode of this British detective show on Tuesday. It was depressing, as most British detective shows tend to be.
Good Times (Tubi)
In this 70s sitcom, the Evans family was divided over who to support in the next election, Alderman Fred C. Davis or Jimmy Pearson, who was well-educated but refused to play the dozens. Jeff and I watched this episode on Sunday night. Jimmy lost his election but swore that he would run again and this time, he would play the dozens. Good for you, Jimmy. Get out there and sell out.
Hollywood Demons (HBOMax)
This week’s episode took a look at 16 and Pregnant. I guess it’s good that this episode exists because, in the future, historians will probably try to deny that 16 and Pregnant ever existed.
Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock TV)
My review of this week’s episode will drop tomorrow.
Hulk Hogan: Real American (Netflix)
I watched this docudrama on Thursday. It told the story of Hulk Hogan, from his early days to his death. The weird thing about this documentary was that it acknowledged that wrestling was fake but still tried to pretend like it wasn’t. (I have to admit that I’ve never been a big wrestling fan.) The documentary featured extensive interviews with sickly looking Hogan. He passed away shortly after filming wrapped. Hulk Hogan took down Gawker and he’ll always be remembered for that.
Kyōryū Sentai Zyuranger (Shout Factory TV)
I watched two episodes of this weird Japanese series on Saturday morning. Monsters were everywhere but luckily, so were some people who were apparently descended from dinosaurs. I really couldn’t follow the plot but the saber-tooth tiger was cute.
The PGA Championship (Sunday, CBS)
Congratulation to Aaron Rai! I loved looking at the golf course. It looked so relaxing.
Saved By The Bell (Tubi)
My review of this week’s episode will drop in about 90 minutes.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.
This week, we’re back at the country club.
Episode 2.3 “Let the Games Begin”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 17th, 1994)
At Pacific Palisades Country Club, it’s time for the annual competition between the members of the club and the staff. If the staff wins, the members will wait on them for a week!
Really? I mean, is this a real thing? Why would any club member agree to that? If I’m paying good money to belong to a country club, the last thing that I’m ever going to do is wait on the staff. I don’t care who wins the stupid competition.
It turns out that Screech is a very good golf player, which becomes an important plot point when the games end in a tie. The tie-breaker is a golf game between country club owner Big Ed and Screech. Big Ed tells Screech to either take a dive or stop dating his daughter, Allison. In the end, Screech can’t betray his fellow workers but Allison doesn’t care. She decides who she dates, not Big Ed.
Also, Tommy D learns how to swim (yay, good for him!) and Rachel says she’s going to quit her job when she learns her boyfriend won’t be coming home for the summer. (Her boyfriend was a member of the club and Rachel only took the job so she could spend time with him.) Brian, not wanting Rachel to quit, starts to send her poems that she believes are being written by her boyfriend. Rachel eventually learns the truth but she’s not offended at all. Of course, she isn’t. Just look at Brian’s apologetic smile!
This episode …. listen, let’s give credit where credit is due. Christian Oliver and Sarah Lancaster? They were cute together. As far as fake Zacks go, Christian Oliver was one of the better ones. And Jonathan Angel gave a likably earnest performance in the scenes where Tommy learned to swim. Unfortunately, this episode featured way too much Screech. Though Dustin Diamond is nowhere near as bad during season 2 as he would be in later seasons, he’s still way too cartoonish to be taken seriously as anyone’s boyfriend.
Seriously, can you imagine buying a country club membership and then having to wait on Screech?
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, Bayside Radio is on the air!
Episode 2.3 “Save The Max”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 22nd, 1990)
Uh-oh! Max is about to lose The Max! The land that the Max is sitting on belongs to the school board and, if Max the owner can’t come up with $10,000 in back rent, he’s going to lose the restaurant. As Jessie puts it, “our favorite hang-out is going to become a parking lot!”
Here’s the thing — so what? I mean, seriously, is it that hard to find a place to get a hamburger in California? For the most part, the Max has always come across as being a fairly tacky place. It’s hard for me to imagine anyone over the age of eleven thinking that Max’s magic tricks were worth watching. Even more importantly, why didn’t Max pay his rent? Max is an adult. He’s a grown man. Why does it fallon a group of teenagers to take care of Max’s problems? Pay your own damn bills, Max!
Fortunately (I guess), Zack has recently re-launched the school radio station. This is the episode where Zack and Screech discover the radio station in the school basement and Mr. Belding appears in a flashback as a 40 year-old hippie high school student with a thick mustache. I’m not really sure to whom the radio station is supposed to appeal. Zack pretending to be “Wolfman Zack” is cringe city. Screech’s mystery theater is embarrassing. Lisa’s gossip show would probably lead to multiple lawsuits today. Aren’t these people supposed to be in class? Are the other students actually okay with Zack and his friends being the only ones who actually get to do anything interesting at school?
The best thing about this episode is that it gives Slater a showcase. This is the first episode to feature Slater as a guy who is always confident until he’s either talking into a microphone or looking at video camera. Whenever he knows he’s being recorded, Slater suddenly freezes up. Slater’s awkwardness is actually pretty endearing and it makes him a more compelling character than Zack. With Zack automatically being good at everything, it’s actually kind of nice to get to watch Slater conquer his doubts and prove himself.
Do the kids — and Mr. Belding — go on the air for 24 hours in an attempt raise enough money to save the Max? You bet they do! But it’s not until Slater grabs the microphone and talks about how the Max was the first place that he ever felt as if he really belonged that the money starts to come in. I think one reason that the Gang was having trouble raising money is that all of the Bayside students were at the Max for the telethon. Seriously, I’m really not sure who was donating all that money at the end of this episode. I guess Slater has groupies. Hey, why not? He’s earned them.
Seriously, though — couldn’t Max have just paid his rent!? What a deadbeat!
This week’s episode took a look at prescription drug abuse in Hollywood. It really didn’t have anything new to say about the subject.
Kyōryū Sentai Zyuranger (Shout TV)
I watched three more episodes of this odd series on Friday night. The monsters were even more trippy than usual!
The N.Y. Friars Club Roast of Chevy Chase (YouTube)
On Sunday, I watched this infamous roast from 2003. Chevy Chase was roasted by a few people who knew him and by a lot of people who didn’t. Stephen Colbert made an early name for himself with his no-holds barred set. I knew this is something that we’re not supposed to admit nowadays but, as I watched the roast, I actually found myself feeling a little sorry for Chase. It’s one thing to be insulted by your friends. It’s another thing to be insulted by strangers who genuinely seem to despise you. At least Paul Shaffer appeared to be having fun as Chevy’s roast master.
Ronda Rousey vs. Gina Carano (Netflix)
17 seconds? After all the hype, it’s impossible not to be disappointed with the actual fight. That said, I’ve always felt that Gina Carano was not treated fairly by Disney so I’m glad she appears to be making a comeback of sorts.
Saved By The Bell (Tubi)
My review of Saved By The Bell will be dropping soon, assuming I don’t fall asleep before I can write it.
Through the Shattered Lens 