Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 4/5/26 — 4/11/26


Diff’rent Strokes (Tubi)

It wasn’t by choice!  On Wednesday, I watched a movie on Tubi and then Tubi sent me to an episode of Diff’rent Strokes before I could stop it.  Mr. Drummond’s friend, Larry (McClean Stevenson), visited from Oregon.  Drummond got Larry a chance to audition for his own talk show.  Larry’s daughter (Kim Richards) didn’t want to move and, for some reason, she blamed the whole thing on Gary Coleman.

Fridays (Prime)

This was a comedy sketch show from the early 80s.  I watched the premiere episode on Saturday morning.  There were a lot of familiar faces in the cast, including a dark-haired Larry David.  Unfortunately, none of the skits were really that funny.

The Greatest Event In Television History (Prime)

In this Adult Swim series, Adam Scott recreated the opening credits of classic television shows and destroyed his life in the process.  Jeff Probst hosted.  Jon Hamm guest-starred and “died” shortly after filming his scenes.  (Don’t worry, his ghost later appeared.)  Paul Rudd slept with Adam’s wife.  Host Jeff Probst said, “Adam’s life is now ruined.”   Billy Joel played piano.  I watched all four episodes on Tuesday and it was funnier than it had any right to be.

Jesus of Nazareth (Tubi)

On Easter, I binged this seven hour miniseries from 1977.  Written by Anthony Burgess and directed by Franco Zeffirelli, this gorgeously produced production took the idea of having an all-star cast quite literally.  Even the minor roles were played by familiar faces, everyone from Donald Pleasence to Rod Steiger to Ernest Borgnine to James Earl Jones, Ian McShane, Laurence Olivier, Stacy Keach, Christopher Plummer, and Michael York.  Olivia Hussey played the Virgin Mary.  Anne Bancroft played the Magdalene.  It was very well-done and surprisingly moving.

The Masters (Prime and Paramount+)

I watched a bit of the Masters this week.  On Saturday, when it was storming outside and I had just returned from attending a memorial service for an old friend of my father’s, it provided a nice distraction.

Nero Wolfe (A&E)

I watched the final two episodes of Nero Wolfe on Tuesday.  It was a truly entertaining show, featuring great work from Maury Chaykin and Timothy Hutton.  It’s a shame that it was canceled after only two seasons.

Sledgehammer (Prime)

This was an 80s sitcom, featuring David Rasche as an out-of-control cop.  I watched two episodes on Friday and it was actually pretty funny.  Rasche talked to his gun and made fun of liberals.  I enjoyed it.

I also watched and reviewed:

  1. 1st & Ten
  2. Baywatch
  3. CHiPs
  4. Decoy
  5. Freddy’s Nightmares
  6. Highway to Heaven
  7. The Love Boat
  8. Miami Vice
  9. Pacific Blue
  10. Saved By The Bell
  11. Saved By The Bell: The New Class
  12. St. Elsewhere

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.17 “Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime and Tubi!

This week, we have perhaps the dumbest 30 minutes of television ever.

Episode 1.17 “Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 23rd, 1990)

After breaking the school’s video camera, Zack and the gang need to come up with some money and they need to do it quickly!  They see that a tabloid will pay money for pictures of an alien so they send in a picture of Screech.  Thompson (Sean Masterson) turns up at the school to investigate the claim.  Screech pretends to be an alien.  Uh-oh, Thompson’s from the government and he wants to dissect Screech!

This is without a doubt the stupidest episode of Saved By The Bell that I’ve ever seen and that’s saying something.  Everyone in the school — including freaking Mr. Belding — puts on a mask to show Thompson that he’s been fooled.

That’s not very nice, Thompson says.

Neither is telling a bunch of kids you’re from a magazine, Belding replies.

What does that even mean, Belding?

Seriously, I try to cut this show some slack but even when I was an occasionally stoned college student watching Saved By The Bell so I’d have something other to do other than study, I still groaned whenever this episode came on.

Did they ever fix the video camera?  They should have let the government have Screech.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.19 “The Big Race”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

Cort needs money!

Episode 1.19 “The Big Race”

(Dir by Kevin Inch, originally aired on March 16th, 1990)

This episode opens with Cort trying to impress a woman who is convinced that he’s rich.  He and Eddie illegally break into someone else’s yacht and Eddie dressed up in a tuxedo so he can pretend to be Cort’s butler.  The meeting goes well into the woman asks Cort to donate $10,000 to a retirement home and Cort impulsively says yes.

Now, he has to come up with $10,000!

Luckily, there’s a water ski race coming up and the grand prize is $15,000.  Cort, Mitch, and Craig enter and …. well, do you need me to tell you that they win despite the efforts of a bunch of snobby vandals?

Meanwhile, Shauni is scared to get in the water.  She’s haunted by slow motion flashbacks of Jill getting attacked by that shark.  (This is the rare episode of Baywatch that actually acknowledges that something that happened in another episode.)  I guess Shauni’s going to have to quit being a lifeguard now.  Oh wait — luckily, someone almost drowns and Shauni’s instincts overpower her fear.  With the help of Michael Newman — NEWMIE! — Shauni finds the courage to do her job.

At least Shauni is still mourning Jill.  No one else seems to care.  Seriously, if you think about it — two lifeguards have died in the line of duty over the past two weeks and no one really seems that upset about it.

No wonder some people stand in the darkness.

Late Night Retro Television Reviev: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.8 “Bloodlines”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

Leave the pets alone.

Episode 2.8 “Bloodlines”

(Dir by James Quinn, originally aired on November 26th, 1989)

Woody Burton (Marc Alaimo) breaks out of prison and heads home to try to retrieve some money he stole.  The house is occupied by his bitter son, Jack (Chris Nash) and his delusional wife, Joyce (Sheree North).  Woody tries to bury his son alive but fortunately, Jack has his gun with him and shoots his father dead.

The episode then jumps forward in time.  Jack is now married to Maggie (Ruth de Sosa).  Maggie and Jack have “adopted” a daughter named Patty (Irina Cashen).  Because Jack had a criminal record, they couldn’t legally adopt so Jack paid a baby broker.  Now, Maggie worries that Patty might be possessed by the devil.  About 10 minutes into the second story, the family’s cat was killed for a cheap shock and I stopped watching.

From what I saw, this was a pretty crappy episode.  The first half was thoroughly unpleasant and didn’t even have any supernatural elements.  The second half was a dull Omen rip-off that killed a defenseless house pet.

Yes, I stopped watching when the cat died.  I had seen enough.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.15 “Bye, George”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

Episode 3.15 “Bye George”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on January 9th, 1985)

It’s another busy day at St. Eligius.

  • The then-Governor of Massachusetts, Michael Dukakis, appears as himself, entering the ER after pulling a muscle while out for his daily run.  Fiscus refuses to believe that he’s the governor.  Elliot recognizes him, of course.
  • Three years later, Governor Dukakis ran for President and lost …. big time.  Dukakis is still alive and is the earliest living unsuccessful presidential nominee.  Because he lost to the first President Bush, he used to show up on the news during the second President Bush’s term.  He always came across as being bitter and kind of whiny.
  • With Tshalla’s kidney transplant having been performed and his clinic at risk due to government corruption, Dr. Wyler finally leaves Boston and heads back to Africa.  And really, it’s not a moment too soon.  For all the time the show spent assuring us that Dr. Wyler was a modern-day saint, I found him to be a bit full-of-himself and a little annoying.  We’ve already got Dr. Westphall and Dr. Craig on this show.  We don’t need any more pompous doctors.
  • Speaking of Dr. Westphall, he’s depressed.  Well, what else is new?
  • Since revealing that he only studied for six months at a fly-by-night medical school, Dr. Morrison is no longer allowed to treat patients or go on rounds.  Joan Halloran (played by Nancy Stafford) returns to the hospital (and the show) and announces that she will be defending Morrison in front of the medical review board and that she hopes that Morrison will be able to continue on as a resident.  Morrison just kind of shrugs.  Morrison is easily depressed as Dr. Westphall.
  • Joan talks to everyone around the hospital and everyone agrees that Jack Morrison is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being they’ve ever known in their life.  When Joan tells Jack that he is universally beloved, Jack seems to cheer up a little.  Not much but a little.
  • Poor Mrs. Hufnagel.  She’s finally about to leave the hospital but, before she goes, she asks another patient, stand-up comedian Murray Robbin (Murray Rubin), to marry her.  Murray says he’ll think about it and then he promptly dies.
  • Murray was Elliot’s patient.  Depressed by his death, Elliot goes to Westphall for advice.  Westphall’s advice is as useless as usual.  Given that Westphall can’t even hear the laughter of children without spending the next eight hours obsessing on about how they’re all going to grow up and die someday, he may not be the best person to talk to while feeling down.
  • Elliot finds Hufnagel in the chapel and they both cry together.  It was a touching scene, well-played by Florence Halop and Stephen Furst.
  • Dr. Ehrlich took Dr. Craig out for dinner!  Yay!  I love it Ehrlich tries to suck up to Craig because it neve goes well.  He takes the Craigs to an incredibly tacky Hawaiian place.
  • Uh-oh, Ehrlich’s credit card has been declined!  Surely the wealthy Dr. Craig will help….
  • “Start washing dishes, Ehrlich,” Craig says.
  • As if so often the case, Ellen Craig admonishes her husband for being rude and agrees to help Victor out.

This was a great episode!  Yes, Westphall and Morrison were their usual depressing selves but Elliot and Hufnagel finally got to act like real people (as opposed to just caricatures) and the bit with Ehrlich and the Craigs was wonderfully handled.  Those who only know William Daniels as the kindly old Mr. Fenney are really missing out.  Dr. Craig’s a great character.

I enjoyed this episode.  For once, the humor and the drama were evenly balanced.  With Peter White dead and the cast clicking as an ensemble, St. Elsewhere appears to have really found its pace.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 5.13 “Merry Christmas, From Grandpa”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, we finish up Highway to Heaven.

Episode 5.13 “Merry Christmas from Grandpa”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on August 4th, 1989)

The final episode of Highway to Heaven is a sad one for a number of reasons.

First off, it’s a Christmas episode but, because NBC never really gave the final season a regular spot on the schedule and instead of just aired the final 13 episodes whenever they needed to fill a hole, the finale didn’t air until August.

Secondly, the episode features Mark and Jonathan going “thirty years into the future,” — in this case to 2018.  Mark is stunned to discover that he’s still alive in 2018.  Jonathan tells him that it’s because he finally stopped smoking.  In real life, Victor French died of lung cancer six months after filming this episode.  Again, because of the way NBC handled the final season, French did not live to see the final episode aired.

Finally, the final episode of Highway to Heaven is not one of its strongest episodes.  The strength of Highway to Heaven was that Jonathan and Mark spent their time helping ordinary people.  Even if you didn’t agree with the show’s theology, it was hard not be touched by the earnest sincerity that lay at the heart of the majority of the episodes.  Jonathan and Mark were do-gooders, in the best sense of the term.

That said, there were more than a few episodes that could be a bit preachy and that’s the case with this episode.  As was often the case with Highway to Heaven‘s weaker episodes, this episode was inspired by Landon’s own environmentalism.  On Christmas Eve, Jonathan and Mark visit three men — a businessman, a farmer, and the President (seriously!) — and bring with them visions of the future.  The businessman sees that he has to stop promoting nuclear power.  The farmer sees that he has to stop using insecticides.  And the President watches as all of his future grandchildren and great-grandchildren vanish from existence as a result of him not doing something to protect the environment.

It’s heartfelt, yes.  I don’t doubt Landon’s sincerity.  But I just wish the final episode had been a bit more of a traditional episode.  I wish that it had featured more of heart and the humor and the Landon/French chemistry that marked the show’s best moments.  Of course, again, Landon had no way of knowing that Victor French was going to die.  (Apparently, even though French does look noticeable thinner, he did not learn that he had lung cancer until after he filmed his last episode.)  If the show had been renewed for another season, it’s doubtful it would have worked without the chemistry between Landon and French.

I’ve enjoyed reviewing this show.  Originally, I didn’t think I would.  I expected this show would bring out my cynical side with a vengeance and there were a few episodes that did just that.  For the most part, though, this show won me over.  Watching it, one gets the feeling that Michael Landon truly did want to make the world a better place.  Who can’t be touched by that?

Next week, a new show will premiere here.

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.26 “Earthbound Satellites”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey investigates an underground gambling syndicate.

Episode 1.26 “Earthbound Satellites”

(Dir by Michael Gordon, aired on April 7th, 1958)

After a man shoots himself in the head over a $20,000 gambling debt, Casey goes undercover as a flighty socialite with a gambling problem.  She meets George Courtney (Whitfield Connor), a rather dapper man who runs an underground casino.  Courtney drives Casey to the casino but, along the way, he switches cars which makes it difficult for the police to tail him.

Later, at a debriefing, Casey expresses frustration that we can launch satellites into space but we can’t follow a car in Manhattan.  Her boss is inspired to put a transmitter in her purse so that the police can follower her in Manhattan.

This episode was made at a time when transmitters and satellites were relatively new ideas and, as a result, a lot of time is spent on establishing the reality of technology that viewers today take for granted.  That makes for somewhat slow episode and it also means that Casey doesn’t really get to do as much as usual in this episode.  If anything, Casey almost comes across as being a bit incompetent, allowing the bad guys to get their hands on both the transmitter and her gun.

This wasn’t the most exciting episode of Decoy but Whitefield Connor did a good job in the role of the charming but amoral George Courtney.  Casey seemed to be truly sad at the end of the episode.  George had so much going for him but, in the end, he sacrificed his freedom for his own greed.

The Eric Roberts Collection: Story of Eva (dir by Tom Woodbeck)


“Jakey, Jakey, big mistakey,” the bad guy says at one point during 2015’s Story of Eva and if that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about this film, I don’t know what to tell you.

Eva (Nicole Rio) is the mother of teenage Amber (Chelsea London Lloyd).  After Amber is murdered by a serial killer who also works as a human trafficker, Eva decides to get revenge.  First, however, she has to train herself to not only inflict pain but to also handle it.  She finds Amber’s stash and starts smoking it.  She wears a ball gag.  She whips herself.  She learns how to handle pain.  She uses Amber’s college fund to buy a membership at the gym and takes boxing lessons.  And she builds her own little dungeon.  Whenever Eva captures a criminal, she turns into Evil Eva and is even played by a different actress, Shawn Craig.  Eva is one of those vigilantes who can’t punish an evil-doer without delivering an endless monologue.  The script is talky in the way that scripts written by first-timers determined to prove their cleverness often are.

“No child should ever suffer!” Eva — in “good” form — announces before then adding, “What kind of God would allow that?”  Thunder rumbles in the background and it’s not for the first or the only time in the movie as Eva views herself as having become a vengeful God.  I have to admit that I appreciated the fact that the film was so shamelessly overwrought and overdone.  Everything about the the move is over-the-top and yet, oddly, it’s still rather dull.  Some of it is that fact that we live in a post-Hostel world.  Torture chambers just don’t carry the same jolt that they once did.

Eric Roberts plays a detective who is investigating all of the murders.  He is named Detective Wood.  His partner (Rico Ross) is named Detective Grind and the fact that there was no one named Detective Bump seems like a missed opportunity.  Roberts appears in a handful of scenes and brings some welcome wit to the role.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Paul’s Case (1980)
  2. Star 80 (1983)
  3. Runaway Train (1985)
  4. To Heal A Nation (1988)
  5. Best of the Best (1989)
  6. Blood Red (1989)
  7. The Ambulance (1990)
  8. The Lost Capone (1990)
  9. Best of the Best II (1993)
  10. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  11. Voyage (1993)
  12. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  13. Sensation (1994)
  14. Dark Angel (1996)
  15. Doctor Who (1996)
  16. Most Wanted (1997)
  17. The Alternate (2000)
  18. Mercy Streets (2000)
  19. Tripfall (2000)
  20. Raptor (2001)
  21. Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 (2001)
  22. Strange Frequency (2001)
  23. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  24. Border Blues (2004)
  25. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  26. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  27. We Belong Together (2005)
  28. Hey You (2006)
  29. Cyclops (2008)
  30. Depth Charge (2008)
  31. Amazing Racer (2009)
  32. The Chaos Experiment (2009)
  33. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  34. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  35. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  36. The Expendables (2010) 
  37. Groupie (2010)
  38. Sharktopus (2010)
  39. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  40. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  41. Deadline (2012)
  42. The Mark (2012)
  43. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  44. The Night Never Sleeps (2012)
  45. Assault on Wall Street (2013)
  46. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  47. Lovelace (2013)
  48. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  49. The Perfect Summer (2013)
  50. Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End (2013)
  51. Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire (2013)
  52. Self-Storage (2013)
  53. Sink Hole (2013)
  54. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  55. This Is Our Time (2013)
  56. Bigfoot vs DB Cooper (2014)
  57. Doc Holliday’s Revenge (2014)
  58. Eternity: The Movie (2014)
  59. Inherent Vice (2014)
  60. Road to the Open (2014)
  61. Rumors of War (2014)
  62. So This Is Christmas (2014)
  63. Amityville Death House (2015)
  64. Deadly Sanctuary (2015)
  65. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  66. Las Vegas Story (2015)
  67. Sorority Slaughterhouse (2015)
  68. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  69. Enemy Within (2016)
  70. Hunting Season (2016)
  71. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  72. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  73. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  74. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  75. Dark Image (2017)
  76. The Demonic Dead (2017)
  77. Black Wake (2018)
  78. Frank and Ava (2018)
  79. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  80. The Wrong Teacher (2018)
  81. Clinton Island (2019)
  82. Monster Island (2019)
  83. The Reliant (2019)
  84. The Savant (2019)
  85. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  86. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  87. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  88. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  89. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  90. Hard Luck Love Song (2020)
  91. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  92. Top Gunner (2020)
  93. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  94. The Elevator (2021)
  95. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  96. Killer Advice (2021)
  97. Megaboa (2021)
  98. Night Night (2021)
  99. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  100. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  101. Red Prophecies (2021)
  102. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  103. The Wrong Mr. Right (2021)
  104. Bleach (2022)
  105. Dawn (2022)
  106. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  107. 69 Parts (2022)
  108. The Rideshare Killer (2022)
  109. The Wrong High School Sweetheart (2022)
  110. The Company We Keep (2023)
  111. D.C. Down (2023)
  112. If I Can’t Have You (2023)
  113. Megalodon: The Frenzy (2023)
  114. Aftermath (2024)
  115. Bad Substitute (2024)
  116. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  117. Insane Like Me? (2024)
  118. Space Sharks (2024)
  119. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  120. Broken Church (2025)
  121. Shakey Grounds (2025)
  122. When It Rains In L.A. (2025)