Tag Archives: Retro Television Reviews

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.3 “A Second Chance”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Things are getting crazy at training camp!

Episode 2.3 “A Second Chance”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on September 8th, 1986)

This week’s episode featured the unforgettable sight of O.J. Simpson tackling a knife-wielding Don Swayze and saving the life of Delta Burke.

Swayze was playing Clay Daniels, a tight end who was drafted by Coach Denardo, even though he apparently pulled a knife on a professor in college.  After Clay threatened Johnny Valentine after he felt Valentine wasn’t throwing him the ball enough, Denardo explained that he drafted Clay because Clay can play football.  Okay, Ernie, I guess that justifies having a knife-wielding maniac in the locker room….

After Denardo finally cut Clay from the team, Clay showed up at Diana’s house with a knife.  Fortunately, Diana was able to call Denardo and T.D. Parker for help.  Denardo showed up and promised he would give Clay a second chance.  And then T.D. tackled Clay and grabbed that knife like a pro!

Meanwhile, Yinessa returned to training camp but he was not happy that his friend and roommate, wide receiver Jamie Waldren (Jeff Kaake), had a drug problem.  This episode ended with Yinessa getting into a fight with someone who broke into their room in search of Waldren’s cocaine.  An angry Yinessa flushed all of Waldren’s cocaine.  Considering that this episode also featured Diana being named Chairperson of the League’s Anti-Drug Committee, I’m sure this won’t lead to any sort of awkwardness with the team.

Much like last week’s episode, this episode was so melodramatic and over-the-top that I couldn’t help but enjoy it.  Drugs, training camp, and knives!  Will the Bulls make it to the Championship Game a second year in a row?  It’s not looking good but, considering that they have O.J. Simpson’s razor-sharp instincts at their disposal, I wouldn’t count them out yet!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.24 “So Help Me Hannah/The Maid Cleans Up/CPR IOU”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Love …. exciting and new!

Episode 6.24 “So Help Me Hannah/The Maid Cleans Up/C.P.R, I.O.U.”

(Dir by Kim Friedman, originally aired on March 12th, 1983)

This episode features Gopher bringing a CPR dummy on board.  No one is that interested in learning how to perform CPR, at least not until one of the passengers, Dwaine Fenley (Steven Keats), has a heart attack.  Fortunately, because of his CPR training, Gopher is able to save Dwaine’s life.  Not only does this lead to Dwaine forging a stronger relationship with his father (Milton Berle) but it also leads to Gopher getting promoted to Head Purser.

(Erin doesn’t like to brag so I’ll brag for her and say that she is not only CPR-certified but she also saved someone’s life a few years ago.  CRP is a good thing to learn!)

While Gopher is trying to get everyone to learn CPR, there are other things happening on the boat and, to be honest, they’re all kind of annoying.  For instance, Hannah (Mary Martin) boards the boat and she’s immediately giving everyone advice and singing Cole Porter tunes.  I kind of knew that this story was going to be annoying from the minute Hannah first boarded the ship and the camera zoomed in for a close-up, which was usually a sign that a guest star was going to spend the entire cruise overacting.  That’s the case here, with Mary Martin delivering every line and playing every emotion as if she’s on Broadway as opposed to a television soundstage.  Hannah meets an ex-boyfriend named Jarvis (Max Showalter) and they sing It’s De-Lovely while standing against the ship’s railing and, for me, it was De-Cringey.  Maybe if I was of Mary Martin’s generation, it would have been less cringey.  But I have to admit that I listen to most of those old songs and I think to myself, “De-lovely is not a word.”  Hannah encourages Jarvis to allow his son (Timothy Patrick Murphy) to play piano instead of becoming a real estate agent.

Finally, a maid (Judy Landers) boards the boat because she knows that her employer (Caren Kaye) is cheating on her boyfriend (Ben Murphy).  It’s actually a bit of a complex storyline, at least by the typical standards of The Love Boat.  Personally, I like Judy Landers and Ben Murphy was appropriately rugged and handsome.  Unfortunately, Landers and Murphy didn’t have much chemistry.

A mixed review for this episode, I’d say.  I appreciated the CPR subplot because that was The Love Boat at its most well-intentioned.  The whole thing with Mary Martin singing old songs was cringe city.  And the maid subplot was just kind of boring.  This was not a great cruise but it wasn’t a terrible one either.  At least, after six seasons, Gopher finally got his promotion.

 

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.4 “Blood For Blood”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bike patrol is busy!

Episode 3.4 “Blood For Blood”

(Dir by Gary Winter, originally aired on August 24th, 1997)

Last week, Pacific Blue attempted to deal with Rave Culture.

This week, it’s Hip Hop Culture!

Rapper Gangster 47 (Ross Leon) is gunned down while leaving a concert.  Gangster 47’s daughter (Meagan Good) is convinced that the hit was ordered by Gangster 47’s rival, Trigger Dog (Ten’l Brunson).  Now, I will just admit right now that I’m having a hard time writing this review because I can’t type out the name Trigger Dog without laughing.  Even though everyone says that Trigger Dog’s feud with Gangster 47 was all for show, Gangster 47’s daughter is determined to shoot Trigger Dog.

Fortunately, noted gangsta rap fan Chris Kelly is on the case.  Seriously, Chris is portrayed as being a fan of Gangster 47.  Over the course of the previous 38 episodes, we have seen absolutely nothing about the very white and the very uptight Chris that would lead us to believe that Chris would be a fan of anything other than military marches but this episode opens with her rolling her eyes when TC says that rap isn’t real music.  Chris tells TC that he needs to realize there’s more to music than the Bee Gees.  Ouch!  You tell him, Chris.  And seriously, take that, Bee Gees!  How Deep Is You Love now, huh!?

Chris and TC have been assigned to protect Gangster 47.  Why exactly the bike patrol is protecting a celebrity who has been getting death threats — as opposed to real cops and real bodyguards — is never really addressed.  Gangster 47’s daughter hates cops.  When Gangster 47 is gunned down in a drive-by, it seems like his daughter has a point. Gangster 47 isn’t killed but he is in the hospital.

The show’s producers obviously figured out that it would be a little bit awkward for the show’s almost entirely white cast to be dealing with a case involving two gangsta rappers so we meet a supercool black detective named — I’m not making this up — Wishbone (Derek Morgan).  Wishbone mainly exists to clasp hands with TC and to back-up Chris, as if the show is saying, “See?  These two aren’t as dorky as they seem.  Wishbone likes them!”  With Wishbone’s help, they come to realize that Gangster 47 was shot by a white man and Trigger Dog is innocent.

The white man is a serial killer named Strob (Todd Cattrell) who is apparently trying to bring about the Biblical apocalypse by murdering celebrities or something.  TC spots him on the beach but, in order to chase after him, he has to get on his bike and this leads to urgent close-up of TC dialing the combination of his bike lock.  Hey, TC, if you had a car, you would have already arrested Streob by now!

While this is going on, Victor’s girlfriend, Linda (Vaitiare Hirshon) has witnessed a murder and, if she testifies, she may have to go into the witness protecting program!  That’s a big deal but, of course, Palermo acts as if it’s nothing because Palermo never seems to get that people actually have lives outside of whatever he needs at any given moment.  Victor doesn’t want to lose Linda.  Conveniently, the murderer pulls a gun on Victor, which gives Victor the perfect excuse to gun him down.  Palermo’s like, “Did he shoot first?” and Victor says, “Sure.”  Victor then asks Linda to marry him.

Personally, I just find it interesting that, with all the crime happening in Santa Wherever This Show Takes Place, it just takes five people on bicycles to catch all the bad guys.  I mean, if that works in Santa Monica, maybe it’ll also work in New York after Mamdani is elected.  Let’s hope so!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.16 “Baby On Demand/The Last Dogfight”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  The show is once again on Tubi!

This week, on Fantasy Island, it’s more of the same old same old.

Episode 7.16 “Baby on Demand/The Last Dogfight”

(Dir by Jerome Courtland, originally aired on March 10th, 1984)

Former “pop singer” Joanna Jones (Tanya Tucker) comes to Fantasy Island.  She is no longer concerned with her musical artistry.  (“If you can call that art,” Lawrence says — Lawrence, you bitch, you!)  Now, she wants to have a baby but she doesn’t want to get married.  Her fantasy is to get pregnant over the weekend and never have to see the guy again.

Okay, then.  I mean, does she really have to go to Fantasy Island to have a one night stand?  She’s a famous and wealthy woman so it just seems odd that apparently, this is something that only Mr. Roarke can make happen.

Mr. Roarke sets her up with Harley Batten (Dean Butler) but Joanna finds herself falling for Harley so she abandons him and instead hooks up with George, who is played by Mark Venturini.  Venturini later played Vic in Friday the 13th Part V.  Remember the guy with the axe who gets tired of Joey bothering him while he’s chopping wood?  That was Mark Venturini!

By the end of the episode, Joanna has decided to take a chance on love and she leaves the Island with Harley.  This fantasy just felt odd, largely because Tanya Tucker was a terrible actress and everyone on the show seemed to be embarrassed for her whenever she had to deliver her lines.  I’m pretty sure that I saw both Dean Butler and Mark Venturini looking for an exit whenever Tucker started speaking.

As for the other story, it’s yet another aviation story.  World War II flying aces Paul Spencer (Leigh McCloskey) and Hunter Richter (Grant Goodeve) are turned back into young men so that they can fly their airplanes over Fantasy Island and simulate a dogfight.  However, Richter is haunted by the death of his wife at Dresden and, after discovering that Spencer’s wife (Leah Ayres) bears a strong resemblance to his late wife, Richter becomes determined to engage in actual combat. In the end, Spencer refuses to fight and Richter’s code of honor prevents him from shooting down a man who will not fire back. Because, of course, World War II-era Germans were famous for their sense of fair play….

The aviation story was, at least, well-acted.  But it still felt very familiar.  It was obvious that the show’s writers had run out of ideas.  All in all, this was another disappointing Season 7 trip to the Island.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.4 “Bad Timing”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett tries to find himself.

Episode 5.4 “Bad Timing”

(Dir by Virgil W. Vogel, originally aired on December 2nd, 1988)

With the case against him still unresolved, Crockett goes on vacation.  He doesn’t tell anyone where he’s going, which is a bit unfortunate as he ends up being taken hostage in the Bayous by a group of cartoonishly evil escaped convicts.  (Pruitt Taylor Vince plays one of the hostage-takers but is fairly forgettable.  A young Melissa Leo appears as a fellow hostage and shows none of the grit that made her so memorable as Sgt. Kay Howard on Homicide.)  Somehow, Tubbs still shows up at the last moment and, looking resplendent in a white suit, he shoots the final convict before the latter shoots Crockett.  Crockett doesn’t even ask Tubbs how he knew where Crockett was.  (If Tubbs had been following Crockett the entire time, why would he have allowed Crockett to have been taken hostage to begin with?)  This episode might as well have been called Dues Ex Tubbs.

Watching this episode, it occurred to me that, as a character, Crockett really doesn’t have anywhere left to go.  By having him turn into Burnett and become one of Miami’s most powerful drug dealers, the show pretty much pushed the character as far as possible.  It’s impossible for Crockett to come back from that and it’s equally impossible to watch an episode like this one and not wonder why Crockett wasn’t in prison.  He’s suspected of committing four murders.  He was witnessed shooting a cop.  He attempted to kill his own partner, twice.  The episode begins with several high-ranking cops saying that they don’t buy Crockett’s excuse that he had amnesia.  And yet, Crockett is allowed to leave Miami while the department tries to figure out what to do with him.

Really, the whole idea that Crockett — a minor celebrity due to his college football career — could maintain his Burnett cover for five seasons was already pretty hard to believe.  Crockett and Tubbs’s cover got blown in nearly every episode during the first three seasons.  Having Sonny “Burnett” marry a world-famous singer without anyone noting that Burnett looked just like Crockett was probably this show’s true shark jumping moment.  Once that happened, it became increasingly difficult to take Miami Vice seriously.  The whole arc of Sonny thinking he was Burnett was fun to watch and Don Johnson gave a good performance as a conflicted bad guy but it’s also left the show with nowhere to go.  With this episode, Crockett has been reduced to being taken hostage by a group of backwoods yokels and waiting for Tubbs to materialize from out of nowhere.

In short, it’s time for Sonny to move on.  And seeing as how this is the final season …. well, we’ll see what happens!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 1.11 “Friday Night”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, we get glimpse of the future.

Episode 1.11 “Friday Night”

(Dir by Paul Fox, originally aired on June 3rd, 2002)

It’s a wild Friday night in Toronto!

Emma and Sean go on their first date.  It goes like this: Sean asks out Emma.  Emma says yes but isn’t sure whether or not Sean is asking her on a date or just asking her to hang out.  Sean is inarticulate because he’s a guy.  Emma gets mad.  In gym class, a game of dodgeball turns into a game of Emma throwing the ball exclusively at Sean.  Sean thinks that Emma hates him.  Emma says she doesn’t hate him.  Finally, Sean shows up at Emma’s house.  Before they leave on their date, Spike takes a picture.

They step outside of the house and a bird immediately defecates on Emma’s outfit.  Emma changes.  They decide to get something to eat before going to a movie.  Emma says that she ordered Sean a vegetarian burger.  Sean is cool with that because he doesn’t eat meat ever since he spent time on a ranch and saw how the animals are treated.  Emma is like, “Awwww!”  But then Emma realizes she can’t find her wallet and she fears that it’s accidentally been thrown away.  Sean spends the night searching through the dumpster behind the restaurant, until Emma realizes that she had her wallet with her all the time.  Whoops!  Emma runs off in tears.

How sad!  Of course, those of us who have watched this show know that one bad date isn’t going to keep Emma and Sean from having one of the most epic (if ultimately pointless) relationships in Degrassi history, one that will survive Sean going to jail but which won’t survive him joining the Army.  Of course, we also know that Emma is somehow going to end up married to Spinner despite saying barely ten words to him over the course of 8 seasons.

Speaking of Spinner, he and Jimmy spend Friday night tormenting Ms. Kwan.  Spinner has a grudge against Ms. Kwan because Ms. Kwan broke his “discman” while trying take it away from him when she discovered him listening to it in her class.

“My discman!” Spinner exclaimed.

“No, your fault!” Kwan snapped.

Spinner got detention.  Later, Jimmy also got detention for making fun of Shakespeare.  (Kwan also got annoyed with Jimmy for making out with Ashley in the hallway.  “You two may think you’re cute….”  Uhmm, it’s the hallway.  Calm down, Ms. Kwan.)  When Spinner and Jimmy learned that Ms. Kwan would be at the school late, teaching an ESL class, they broke into the principal’s office, broadcast the sound of Spinner chewing gum into her classroom, and then ordered several pizzas for her class.  Spinner then threw an entire carton of eggs at Kwan’s car.  Kwan came outside, saw her car, and broke down into tears while Spinner and Jimmy watched from afar.  Spinner was amused.  Jimmy felt guilty.

The next day, Mr. Raditch announces that Ms. Kwan has taken a leave of absence because her husband’s been sick.  The upcoming class field trip is canceled.  And Mr. Raditch will now be teaching Kwan’s class.  Spinner, you idiot!

That said, I blame Jimmy more.  Everyone knows that Spinner’s impulsive and out-of-control.  Jimmy’s supposed to be the voice of reason.

This episode is one of the better season one episodes, if just because it featured Emma being repeatedly humiliated (that may seem cruel but if you know some of the things that Emma’s going to do in the future, it is kind of satisfying to see) and it also features an early appearance of a recurring Degrassi theme: Spinner accidentally destroying someone’s life.  This episode represents the future of Degrassi.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 4.12 “The Hat”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, incompetence reigns.

Episode 4.12 “The Hat”

(Dir by Peter Medak, originally aired on January 19th, 1996)

There’s a running theme in this week’s episode and that theme is incompetence.

With Russert having been demoted all the way back to detective, there is now a captain’s vacancy.  The squad room is convinced that Giardello is going to get promoted.  For that matter, Giardello is also convinced that he’s going to be promoted.  Instead, the promotion goes to Roger Gaffney (Walt MacPherson), the racist martinet former homicide detective who nearly got into a fist fight with Pembleton during the white glove murder investigation.

(Giardello, for all of his strengths, has never played the political game as well as those around him.)

Munch thinks that a lawyer who he arrested for murder is going to be convicted.  However, it turns out that the video that Brodie shot at the crime scene shows that a key piece of evidence was mishandled.  Munch tells Brodie to erase the tape.  Brodie refuses to tamper with evidence.  (“It’s illegal,” he says.)  As a result, the murderer walks free.  And while it’s true that Brodie’s refusal to erase the tape did lead to an guilty man walking, it’s also true that it wouldn’t have been a problem if the cops on the scene hadn’t screwed up in the first place.

Finally, Lewis and Kellerman are sent to Pennsylvania to pick up Rose Halligan (Lily Tomlin), a woman suspected of murdering her husband in Baltimore.  Lewis and Kellerman are supposed to go straight to Pennsylvania and then come right back to Maryland, without making any unnecessary stops.  Instead, they screw up.  Kellerman decides to stop off at a run-down amusement park that he remembers from his childhood.  Later, Lewis and Kellerman stop off at a diner so they can get some dinner.  When Rose excuses herself to go to the restroom, they not only remove her handcuffs but they also allow her to go unaccompanied.  Needless to say, Rose escapes, makes her way back to Baltimore, and stabs her husband’s mistress to death before getting Lewis and Kellerman track her down.

Lily Tomlin was this episode’s big guest star, for better or worse.  Sometimes, when a big name appears on a television show, it becomes obvious that there wasn’t anyone around who was willing to tell them that they were overacting just a bit and that would certainly seem to be the case here.  Rose is a music teacher so this episode really tests one’s tolerance for Lily Tomlin singing opera.  That said, Tomlin was quietly effective at the end of the episode, sitting out on a porch while her former friend lay dead in the house.  Rose says she was returning her friend’s hate and, indeed, the dead woman in wearing the hat that Rose wore throughout almost the entire episode.

All said, I enjoyed this episode.  Lewis and Kellerman may be incompetent but they’re still entertaining to watch.  As for the hated Roger Gaffney getting the job that Giardello deserved …. well, isn’t that always the way?

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.2 “The Lisa Card”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime and Tubi!

This week, an important lesson is learned about credit cards.

Episode 1.2 “The Lisa Card”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on August 28th, 1989)

Lisa’s father (Henry Brown) has given her his credit card and Lisa has charged way too much money on it!  Now, she has to figure out how to raise the money to pay it off before he finds out.

I could relate to this episode.  When I got my first credit card, I went crazy charging stuff to it.  I’m still probably a little bit too quick to reach for it.  To be honest, it wouldn’t be until I was 25 that I really came to understand that someone actually has to pay all that money back.  I knew what Lisa was going through but I was still surprised at how all of her friends immediately came to her aid.  What selfless friends!  I can honestly say that, if a friend of mine needed that much money, I would probably not give it to them.  Lisa got a job at the Max but Slater, Zach, Kelly, Jessie, and Screech ended up doing most of the work and they all did it for free.  Maybe if they had all gotten a job at the Max (as opposed to just volunteering to help) they could have combined their paychecks and paid off that credit card.  Zach also sells all of Lisa’s clothing, holding a sale in the middle of the school hallways.  (“Closing them!” Zach shouts whenever Belding is nearby.)  “Who wants this lingerie?” Zach asks.  Screech pledges his life savings.  Ummm, Lisa is like fourteen and Screech appears to be considerably younger.  That’s kind of icky….

This episode was …. well, I was going to say it was dumb but every episode of Saved By The Bell is dumb.  That said, it was dumb in a fun way.  Lark Voorhees was always underused on Good Morning Miss Bliss but she really goes all out with this episode.  Her nervous twitching when she learned all of her clothes had been given to charity (for free!) was something else to which I could relate.

In the end, Lisa’s father forgives her and Lisa gets upset because he’s not angrier.  What?  Lisa, you got away with it!  Be happy!

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.3 “Second Wave”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

Trouble comes to Malibu!

Episode 1.3 “Second Wave”

(Dir by Scott Brazil, originally aired on October 13th, 1989)

Jimmy Roche (Daniel Quinn), an old friend-turned-enemy of Eddie’s, is in Malibu and he and his gang are eager to give Eddie a hard time.  When Eddie tries to rescue a man in the water, Jimmy trips him and then plays keep-away with Eddie rescue can.  Dang, these guys are hardcore!

Eddie doesn’t want to tell anyone about his past, even after Jimmy files an assault complaint against him.  (Eddie was provoked into throwing a punch.)  Jimmy threatens to robs Gina and Craig unless Eddie gives him some money.  Eddie agrees to meet with Jimmy but then tells the cops.  Garner Ellerbee decides to set up an undercover sting, which basically means that Garner stands next to Eddie while Eddie waits for Jimmy to show up.  Somehow, Jimmy figures out what’s going on.  Looks like Eddie will just have to beat Jimmy up on the beach and prove that he’s no longer a delinquent from Philadelphia.

That would be an intense storyline, if not for the fact that Jimmy himself comes across as being kind of a wimp.  I mean, a young David Spade is a member of his gang!  Eddie allows himself to be intimidated by a young David Spade!  Think about that.  This storyline just made Eddie seem  kind of dumb,

Meanwhile, a young Mariska Hargitay gave a terrible performance as Lisa (hey!), the daughter of the head of the country club.  Lisa (!) decided to pursue a romance with the country club’s lifeguard, Trevor, as a way of upsetting her father.  When Lisa (!) jumped into the ocean to make a point (though I’m not sure what point), Trevor rescued her.  However, Lisa (!) later went into shock because she still had water in her lungs.  Trevor was able to get her to the hospital in time but he learned an important lesson about not being a cocky lifeguard.

“The county lifeguards know about secondary drowning,” he’s told.

Okay, so why wouldn’t Trevor know about that?  The whole idea behind Trevor’s character is that he was a hotshot lifeguard in Australia before he came to California.  So, is the show implying that he wasn’t trained in lifeguard basics in Australia because given how famous Australia is for its beaches, I find that hard to believe.

Anyway, after she recovers Lisa (!) announces that she’s going back to New York and Trevor realizes that she was only using him to make her father angry.  Trevor stops by Baywatch HQ and talks to Mitch and admits that he doesn’t enjoy working as a lifeguard.  Lifeguard Jill Riley gives him a sympathetic look.  It looks like they’re falling in love but I’ve seen this series before so I already know that Jill is going to get eaten by a shark and Trevor is going to vanish after a few more episodes.

This episode could have used a shark.

We love you, Roboshark!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.14 “Black Tickets”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week, a future Oscar winner shows up in Springwood.

Episode 1.14 “Black Tickets”

(Dir by George Kaczender, originally aired on February 5th, 1989)

Brad Pitt appears in this week’s episode, playing Rick.  Rick is a rebellious teenager who elopes with his girlfriend, Miranda (Kerry Wall).  Even on a low-budget show like this, Pitt’s screen presence was undeniable.  From the minute he shows up onscreen, it’s impossible to look away from him.  He had that movie star charisma from the start.  It’s a shame that the episode itself isn’t that good.

It’s a typical Freddy’s Nightmares scenario.  The first 20 minutes feature Rick having an extended dream sequence after he gets hit by a car.  Rick apparently dreams about staying at a creepy hotel with Miranda and then being forced to kill two cops that show up and attempt to arrest him.  But, at the end of the story, he sees himself lying in the middle of the road and realizes that everything that has happened since he got hit by the car has only been happening in his head.

The second 20 minutes features Miranda married to Rick.  Rick has no settled down but Miranda is worried that she might be pregnant.  While she waits for the results of her pregnancy test, she sees herself trapped in the house as a mother while Rick goes from being a rebel to being a police officer.  Finally, Miranda snaps out of her dream and discovers that she’s not pregnant.  She jumps for joy on her bed but then she slips, hits her head, and ends up with the mind of a child.

This was a pretty bland episode, even with Brad Pitt in the cast.  The main problem was that it was all so predictable.  The dreams were obviously dreams so there wasn’t really any suspense or tension while they were playing out.  Freddy’s Nightmares used the “Its all just a dream” format so often that, by this point in the first season, it had gotten fairly boring.  That was certainly the case here.