Tag Archives: Retro Television Reviews

Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning Miss Bliss 1.8 “The Boy Who Cried Rat”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Zach takes up terrorism.

Episode 1.8 “The Boy Who Cried Rat”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on February 11th, 1989)

Miss Bliss has been nominated for Indiana Teacher Of The Year because of course she has.  Mr. Belding is super-excited.  He is convinced that Miss Bliss’s Battle of the Eighth Grade Stars will put her over the top!  What is the Battle of the Eighth Grade Stars?  Miss Bliss wears silly costumes and asks historical questions.  Miss Bliss can’t wait to be named Teacher of the Year.

Uh-oh, Zach Morris needs an extra week to study for his midterm so he can get the B that his father is requiring before he’ll take Zach on a ski vacation.  Zach convinces Screech to set his two pet rats free in the school.  As a result, the school is shut down for a week and the Best Teacher judge will not get to see  Miss Bliss’s Battle of the Eighth Grade Stars.  But when Zach hears that Miss Bliss is going to miss her chance to be Teacher of the Year, he feels guilty and confesses.  Somehow, this leads to the school not being closed for a week.  I mean, Screech was able to find one of his rats but the other one is still loose in the school.  Zach confessing doesn’t change the fact that there’s still a rat infestation.  Mr. Belding offers Zach and Screech a deal.  If they act really enthusiastic during Miss Bliss’s Battle of the Eighth Grade Stars and they help Miss Bliss win the title of Teacher of the Year, Belding won’t give them detention.  Zach agrees.

(Personally, I think it can be argued that Zach should have been expelled and that his behavior is evidence of a sociopathic personality but whatever.  Miss Bliss is what matters here!)

Unfortunately, Zach and the class get too enthusiastic about the Battle of the Eighth Grade Stars.  They’re so busy praising Miss Bliss that Miss Bliss fears that they’ve become distracted from studying for their midterms.  Miss Bliss tells the judge that her number one concern has to be getting the kids ready for their test, not competing for a title.

So, of course, Miss Bliss wins the title.

More than any previous episode of Good Morning Miss Bliss, this episode felt like a typical installment of Saved By The Bell.  Zach came up with a wacky scheme.  Screech somehow got roped into it.  And, in the end, no one faced any real consequences for their behavior.  That said, this is also a typical Good Morning Miss Bliss episode in that Miss Bliss is again portrayed as being too good to be true and the entire school was portrayed as revolving around keeping her happy.

Personally, I don’t think Miss Bliss’s Battle of the Eighth Grade Stars was all that impressive.  Teacher of the Year?  STOP THE COUNT!

Retro Television Review: The American Short Story #14: Rappaccini’s Daughter

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, Lisa will be reviewing The American Short Story, which ran semi-regularly on PBS in 1974 to 1981.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime and found on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, we have an anemic adaptation of a Nathaniel Hawthorne short story.

Episode #14: Rappaccini’s Daughter

(Dir by Deszo Magyar, originally aired in 1980)

This week’s episode is an adaptation of one of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s more intriguing short stories.  Giovanni (Kristoffer Tabori) is a young scholar who, in 18th Century Italy, falls in love with the beautiful and mysterious Beatrice (Kathleen Beller).  Beatrice has been raised in a garden that is full of poisonous plants that have been developed by her father, Dr. Rappaccini (Leonardo Cimino).  As a result, Beatrice is immune to the plants but she herself is poisonous.  Giovanni falls in love with her and is willing to become poisonous himself but it ultimately turns out that everything comes with a price.

Hawthorne’s short story was not only an early example of gothic literature but it was also a well-deserved parody of the nature-loving, self-righteous transcendentalists.  (The story came out at the same time as Henry David Thoreau’s Walden.)  Unfortunately, this particular adaptation really doesn’t do the story justice.  It moves extremely slowly and the performances are not particularly memorable.  Kristoffer Tabori and Kathleen Beller have very little chemistry and, in the end, the adaptation misses the satirical nature of the story altogether.  There’s a reason why Vincent Price made for an excellent Dr. Rappaccini in 1963’s Twice Told Tales.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 1.7 “Sister’s Keeper”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Plex!

This week, Freddy is out for revenge.

Episode 7.1 “Sister’s Keeper”

(Dir by Ken Wiederhorn, originally aired on November 20th, 1988)

Freddy’s Nightmares started with Freddy Krueger killing Deputy Blocker, the man who had led the vigilante mob that set him on fire.  This episode finds Freddy seeking revenge on Blocker’s twin teenager daughters, neurotic Merit (Hili Park) and the supercool, super awesome Lisa (Gry Park).  Merit is convinced hat Freddy is haunting her nightmares and, as a result, she’s a bit of an outcast at school.  Lisa, on the other hand, believes that Freddy is dead and buried.  Lisa is stable and popular at school and even has a jock boyfriend.

Needless to say, Merit is a bit jealous of Lisa.  For me, this was the most realistic part of this episode.  People are always jealous of girls named Lisa, especially when they’ve got it all together as this Lisa does.  (Trust me, I know!)  It’s a heavy burden to bear but it happens.  Lisa, being a saint, tries to help Merit out but Merit is pretty unappreciative.

Lisa even dresses up like Merit and pretends to be Merit so that she can experience what it’s like to be her sister.  Lisa discovers that her boyfriend is just as interesting in sleeping with Merit as in sleeping with her.  Booo!  What a creep!  Even worse, Lisa discovers that Freddy is real and that he’s after both her and Merit.

Like the pilot, this episode tells one story and most of the action centers around Freddy.  Freddy actually takes part in this week’s story and, even by his standards, he’s cruel.  “I’ll make it gentle,” he tells the terrified Merit, a reminder that Freddy was always a far more perverse killer than the seemingly asexual Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers.  This episode was a reminder of just how scary Freddy could be.  Robert Englund didn’t hold up.

Merit and Lisa learn how to dream “in sync” so that they can both face Freddy at the same time.  It’s a cool idea that does absolutely no good.  As Lisa puts it, “It doesn’t work, you can’t make him go away!”  Lisa ends up dead (boo!) while Merit is blamed for her murder.  And so the episode ends.

Wow, that’s not a happy ending.  Not only did Freddy triumph but supercool Lisa was killed, largely due to her sister’s incompetence.  Then again, there really aren’t that many happy endings to be found when it comes to Freddy Krueger.  The ending was depressing but effective and, even more importantly, it was really the only way the story could have ended.

This episode was pretty good.  It’s certainly the best that I’ve seen so far.  Merit and Lisa were real-played by the Park sisters and Robert Englund once again showed just how frightening he could be as Freddy Krueger.  Within the confines imposed by television syndication, this was a genuinely frightening episode.

 

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.14 “Drama Center”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, things get depressing.

Episode 2.14 “Drama Center”

(Dir by David Anspaugh, originally aired on February 15th, 1984)

This week’s episode opens with a disturbing scene in which a woman, trying to get her car to start on a snowy night, is attacked and raped in the parking lot of St. Eligius.  The rapist is wearing a green jacket and a ski mask.

At first, I assumed that the rapist was a random lowlife, someone who would likely never be seen again.  But then Dr. Cavanero’s wealthy boyfriend tried to force himself on her and I was left wondering if maybe he would be revealed as the man in the ski mask.  However, towards the end of the episode, there was scene featuring Dr. Peter White.  Having been banned from working in the ER and from prescribing medicine, White is now working in the morgue and, needless to say, he spends this entire episode bitching about it.  As the episode ends, we see that Peter is holding a capsule in his hand, suggesting that he is once again abusing drugs.  However, I also noticed that Peter was wearing the same green jacket as the man in the ski mask!

This was a good episode, well-written and well-acted.  It was also pretty depressing.  Dr. Westphall brings his severely autistic, noncommunicative son Tommy (Chad Allen) to St. Eligius so that Dr. Ridley can examine him.  Dr. Ridley warns Westphall that Tommy is aggressive and that Westphall might not be able to continue to care for him at home, despite the fact that Westphall’s daughter (Dana Short) is planning on forgoing her dream college to stick around and help.  Westphall ends his day reading Tommy a book (“Your mom bought you this book.”) and breaking down into tears and it made me cry a little too.

Meanwhile, a TV crew followed around Dr. Craig for a documentary.  Needless to say, they got in the way and they got on Craig’s nerves.  The director was played by Michael Richards, who, of course, is best-known for playing Kramer on Seinfeld and then having a racist meltdown when he got heckled at a comedy club.   In an episode that was, emotionally, pretty dark, it was almost a relief to get some scenes of Dr. Craig losing his temper with the documentary crew.  As someone who knows William Daniels best as the kindly Mr. Feeney from countless Boy Meets World reruns, it’s been a real pleasure to Daniels as the prickly and arrogant Dr. Craig.  Dr. Craig wouldn’t have had much use for the Matthews clan and all of their drama.

This was an intense and sad episode.  It was St. Elsewhere at its most emotional.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.12 “With Love, The Claus”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

Merry Christmas!

Episode 4.12 “With Love, The Claus”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on December 23rd, 1987)

Jonathan and Mark find themselves working for a lawyer named Paul Burke (John Calvin).  It’s the Christmas season and they help Paul out by taking his son to Newman’s Department Store.  The kid wants to talk to Santa.  What the kid doesn’t know is that there are several Santas at Newman’s.  They work in shifts and they’re pretty cynical.  However, the newest Santa (Bill Erwin) takes his job very seriously because …. he is Santa!

So, why is Santa working at a department store instead of getting things ready up at the North Pole?  This episode never really explains.  Instead, we get Santa taking offense when he’s asked to help the store sell it’s latest toy.

Santa says that there’s no way he’s going to push machine guns.  He’s about peace and love!  His boss, Mr. Grinchley (Robert Casper), threatens to fire him.  Santa doesn’t react well to that.

Santa ends up unemployed and with nowhere to live.  Jonathan arranges for Paul to represent Santa in a lawsuit that Santa has filed against Newman’s Department Store.  The lead counsel for Newman’s just happens to Paul’s ex-wife, Donna (Wendie Malick).

You can probably guess where all this is going, right?  Santa eventually ends up in jail after the chairman of Newman’s files a lawsuit against him.  Santa says that he can’t stay in jail because Christmas Eve is approaching.  Maybe Santa should have thought about that earlier.

This episode owed a lot to one of my favorite Christmas movies, Miracle on 34th Street.  Of course, Miracle on 34th Street featured Edmund Gwenn, who gave a delightful performance as Santa.  This episode features Bill Erwin, who basically plays Santa as being a half-crazed grump who won’t stop complaining.  Seriously, this episode may feature the most unlikable Santa Claus this side of Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer.  I don’t know why Michael Landon directed Erwin to play Santa as if Santa was plotting to kill all of his enemies but it definitely wasn’t the right approach.

Seriously, Santa is really self-righteous in this episode.

I hate to criticize a Christmas episode and, as always, I’m sure that Michael Landon had the best and the sincerest of intentions.  But this episode just didn’t work for me.  Santa was too much of a jerk.

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.2 “The Red Clown”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This episode, Casey searches for a man who has abandoned his daughter so he can pursue a career as a painter of clowns.

Episode 1.2 “The Red Clown”

(Dir by Teddy Sills, originally aired on October 21, 1957)

Mike Foley (John McLiam) has quit has job and left his New York home.  His wife (Barbara Barrie) suspects that Mike has returned to Greenwich Village so that he can pursue his dream of being a painter.  Normally, this wouldn’t be a police manner but Mike has also left behind his daughter, Bobby (Barbara Myers), and is facing charges of child abandonment unless he starts paying child support.  Policewoman Casey Jones (Beverly Garland) works undercover, pretending to be a bourgeois art collector who wants to buy one of Mike’s horrid clown paintings.

This episode featured some wonderful on-location footage of New York City in the 1950s.  The history nerd side of me loved that.  I have to admit, though, that I found myself wondering whether or not Casey is actually that good at her job.  Bobby managed to follow Casey all the way to Greenwich Village without Casey noticing.  When Casey did notice, she did the whole thing where she went to a phone booth and told Bobby, “Stay here while I make a call.”  Well, of course, Bobby didn’t stay there.  Bobby went running off to look for her father.

(Was Bobby’s mother not concerned that her daughter was basically wandering around the city?)

Of course, if Bobby hadn’t followed Casey to Greenwich Village, they never would have found Mike.  Mike, it turned out, was living in a shabby building and spending all of his time painting.  He was pursuing his dream.  When Bobby asked him to come home, Mike replied that he had no interest in his old life and that he didn’t want anything to do with his family.  Mike’s harsh words left Bobby in tears.  The episode ended with Bobby playing in a playground a few wees later, with Casey watching her and telling us, “I think she’ll be okay.”  Yeah, I don’t think so, Casey.

The episode was depressing!  But I have to give the show a lot of credit for not having Mike have a sudden change of heart.  The truth of the matter is that he left his family because he was self-centered.  He didn’t become any less self-centered when he was confronted by his daughter.  After listening to Mike’s self-serving crap, Bobby dropped the clown doll that she carried with her as she searched for Mike, saying that she didn’t like clowns anymore.  It’s a painful lesson and a sad one but at least Bobby now knows that truth about her father.  Other than that playground coda, this episode had the guts not to give into false hope.

Next week: Casey deals with an obscene phone caller!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & 10 1.8 “The Sins of the Quarterback”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, Bryce Smith finally takes the field!

Episode 1.8 “The Sins of the Quarterback”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on January 13th, 1985)

During a game against the — oh come on! — Atlanta Confederates, Bob Dorsey is sacked and knocked unconscious.  Ultra-religious backup quarterback Bryce Smith (Jeff East) is sent in to replace him.  Bryce throws an amazing pass across the entire field that is somewhat caught for a touchdown.  The Bulls win!

The defensive players celebrate by grabbing Bryce forcing liquor down his throat.  Bryce is a Mormon and a graduate of BYU.  Bryce gets drunk easily.  After the rest of the players leave the locker room, a barely coherent Bryce is  approached by cheerleader Tammy Baker (Pamela Jean Bryant) who says that she is God’s gift to him.  The scene ends rather abruptly, I assume because this episode was heavily edited for syndication.

A week later, an excited Tammy approaches Bryce at a roast honoring the team.  She tells him that she’s pregnant!  She’s super-excited!  Bryce, however, is shaken and — after a fantasy sequence set in the Garden of Eden — Bryce announces that he is retiring from football and going to Tibet to become a monk.  Why would a Mormon go to Tibet to become a monk?

Well, I guess the team is screwed!  Bob Dorsey still isn’t ready to come back and the third-string quarterback can barely throw the ball.  However, Bryce’s wife comes to the rescue.  She forgives Bryce for cheating and she also invites Tammy to come live with them.  Bryce can continue to play football!

Denardo, however, doubts that Bryce is the one who impregnated Tammy.  He demands that every other player who had sex with Tammy raise their hand.  Nearly every hand in the locker room goes up.  Bryce worries that everyone is going to have to move in with him and his wife….

Okay, then!  It’s hard to review this episode because, again, it’s obvious that the racy, original episode (the one that aired on HBO) was heavily edited for syndication.  The version that I saw featured a lot of abrupt jump cuts.  The story itself was fairly dumb but that’s kind of a given when it comes to this show.  I’ll give some credit to Jeff East.  He was far better than the material he had to work with.

Myself, I’m just amazed that this show featured a team called the Atlanta Confederates.  I’m going to assume that team eventually changed their name.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.15 “The Captain’s Replacement/Sly As A Fox/Here Comes The Bride …. Maybe”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard!  We’re expecting you….

Episode 6.15 “The Captain’s Replacement/Sly As A Fox/Here Comes The Bride …. Maybe”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on January 15th, 1983)

First off, before I do anything else, I want to thank Case for covering the last three episodes of The Love Boat for me.  The previous month was not an easy one for me or my family and having Case, Brad, and Jeff helping me out with my television reviews really helped out.  Thanks, guys.  You all did a wonderful job!

As far as this episode goes, I know there’s one question that is on everyone’s mind:

Julie appeared to be moderately coked-up in this episode, though not as much as usual.  I’d say on the How Coked Up Was Julie Scale, this episode was right in the middle.  Five out of ten.

Julie actually had a bit to do during this episode.  Captain Donahue (McLean Stevenson) was on the ship, technically so that he could watch and learn from Captain Stubing.  Gopher, however, suspected that Donahue was planning on replacing Stubing as the captain of the Pacific Princess.  Gopher, Julie, Doc, Isaac, and Vicki all decided to pretend to be crazy in order to convince Donahue to stay away from the Pacific Princess.  Julie, for instance, started to obsessively practice her “welcome aboard” greeting.  I’m not sure what was so crazy about that.  As far as I can tell, Julie’s entire job consists of greeting people when they board the ship.  It seems like it would be a good idea to get some practice in.  Still, Donahue is freaked out enough that he backs off from trying to steal Stubing’s position.  Captain Stubing is relieved and so is the rest of the crew.  Maybe they came across an episode of Hello, Larry and realized what was in store for them if McLean Stevenson became the new captain.

Julie also served as an advisor to Mary Frances Bellflower (Shelley Fabares), who boarded the ship with two suitors.  Ben Phillips (Frank Bonner) and Henry Greg (Arte Johnson) spent the cruise bickering over who would make the best husband for Mary Frances.  Mary Frances assumed that the two men only cared about her because she was rich and she owned a valuable foxhound.  However, by the end of the cruise, Mary Frances realized that both of the men sincerely loved her.  She promised Julie that she would return to the ship in the future with the man she had chosen.  Julia, her nose red, suggested that Mary Frances give bigamy a try.  Everyone had a good laugh.

Finally, Doc arranged for his old friend, Erica Dupont (Jenilee Harrison), to get a job serving drinks on the cruise.  Erica, the daughter of an autoworker, needed the job so that she could help pay for her wedding to Robert Wallingford (Stephen Shortridge).  Erica confessed that Robert and his parents both thought she was rich because her last name was Dupont.  Erica immediately got to work serving drinks but — oh no! — Robert’s snooty parents (William Windom and Jane Wyatt) just happened to be on the cruise!  Erica tried to avoid them but eventually, they saw Erica sharing a friendly dance with Doc and they got the wrong idea.  They called Robert, who flew down to Mexico to meet the boat.  Erica finally confessed that, while her last name was Dupont, that did not make her a Du Pont.  The Wallingfords were disappointed to learn that Erica was not related to future murderer John du Pont.  Still, Robert forgave Erica and I guess they got married after the cruise.  Who knows?  I would think that starting an engagement with a lie would be a problem for most people but whatever.

This cruise was mildly enjoyable.  Jenilee Harrison and Bernie Kopell had a likable chemistry and it was hard not to feel that Erica should have just dumped Robert and declared her love for Doc.  As for everyone acting crazy to fool McLean Stevenson, you could tell that the regulars were having fun.  The storyline about Mary Frances and her two suitors was fairly weak but the other two stories made up for it.

I’m glad that I came aboard.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.18 “Full Moon”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, it all about bicycles and sex.

Episode 2.18 “Full Moon”

(Dir by Scott Lautanen, originally aired on February 23rd, 1997)

This week, Pacific Blue gives us the erotically-charged story of two people with no personality falling for each other.  Don’t worry, though.  Even though Chris and TC both put in for transfers so that they won’t violate Palermo’s “No Doing It On The Job” policy, they eventually realize that they’re not actually in love.  After TC kisses Chris and they prepare to move into the bedroom, Chris suddenly says that she can tell that TC feels like he’s “about to have sex with your sister,” and TC nods, as if that’s a feeling that he’s extremely familiar with.

TC and Chris fall for each other while investigating a series of ATM robberies.  The two robbers (Robert Kerbeck and Felicity Waterman) were at least convincingly sleazy.  Cory kills one of the robbers.  How humiliating it must be to be killed by someone who rides a bicycle for a living!

Meanwhile, Palermo was shocked to discover his name was in a madame’s little black book.  Palermo, you hypocrite!  Put that man in jail!  But then it turned out that madame (played by Charlie Spradling) just put random names in the book so that she could use it for blackmail.  That was pretty clever of her.  Still, I find it hard to believe that anyone, outside of the bike patrol, would have had the slightest idea who Palermo was.

This was another episode that failed because not only are the characters not interesting but they’re all pretty much indistinguishable.  Chris and Cory at least have differing hair colors.  But, from a distance, Palermo, TC, and Victor all might as well all be the same guy.  If you told me that this episode was actually about Palermo falling in love with Chris, I’d have to believe you because Palermo and TC are pretty much impossible to tell apart.  Human drama only works when the characters are recognizably human.

Agck!  That’s mean!  Oh well, it’s late….

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.8 “Random Choices/My Mommy, The Swinger”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, we have two more fantasies that do not feature Tattoo.  What even is the point?

Episode 7.8 “Random Choices/My Mommy, The Swinger”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on December 3rd, 1983)

Elaine Ashley (Florence Henderson) is divorced and raising two kids on her own.  Her fantasy is to be a swinger for the weekend!  Mr. Roarke arranges for Lawrence to watch the kids and then he sets Elaine up with tennis player Martin Avery (Robert Goulet).  While Lawrence attempts to explain to the kids why their mother doesn’t want them around for the weekend, Martin offers Elaine a job.  It’s a good job with a nice salary but it would require her to put her children in a boarding school.  On the plus side, I guess Elaine would finally get laid again since that seems to be her main concern.  On the negative side, no more kids.

Elaine is tempted.  In fact, Elaine is so tempted that it actually make her into a really unsympathetic character.  At first, Elaine takes the job but then, when she sees how upset her children are about no longer living with her, she changes her mind.  Hey, Elaine — how did you think the children would react!?

This fantasy irked me.  Of course, to be absolutely honest about things, Florence Henderson irks me in general.  Maybe I’m still holding the last episode of The Brady Bunch Variety Hour against her but, whenever Florence Henderson appeared on this show or on The Love Boat, the characters she played always came across as being judgmental and self-absorbed.  That’s certainly the case here.  You take your children to a tropical paradise and then you abandon them with the butler?  Really?

As for the other fantasy, it featured Jose Ferrer as a dying billionaire who needed to find someone who he could trust to give away his money to people who deserved it.  Roarke determined that person was Eddie Random (James Read), an angry young man who felt his father had been cheated by Ferrer’s tycoon.  The entire fantasy came down to Eddie proving himself by taking supplies to an Island and helping a crotchety old man come to terms with the death of his wife.

This second fantasy felt like a backdoor pilot.  It literally ended with Eddie and the billionaire leaving to have many more adventures.  As such, the fantasy itself felt rather incomplete and …. well, silly.  Why would the tycoon need Fantasy Island to help him find the right person to give away his money?  Why does he even need a person to do that?  He should have just arranged for a big scavenger hunt and whoever found the most items would get the money.  That would have been a lot more fun.

You know who always enjoyed fantasies dealing with money?  Tattoo.  I miss him.