Review: Sabotage (dir. by David Ayer)


“Ammo’s cheap, my life ain’t.” — Joe “Grinder” Phillips

Watching Sabotage, the 2014 David Ayer action-thriller, is a bit like finding a beautiful, high-performance sports car that’s been stripped for parts. It’s got a shiny exterior in Arnold Schwarzenegger, a director known for gritty cop dramas, and a promising cast, but under the hood, the engine is sputtering and the chassis is held together with duct tape and questionable intentions. The film is a strange, often unpleasant beast that seems unsure if it wants to be a complex whodunit, a grim torture-porn horror flick, or a simple action vehicle for its aging star. In trying to be all of them, it mostly succeeds at being a confusing, albeit fascinating, mess.

The film starts with a classic set-up that reeks of potential. Schwarzenegger plays John “Breacher” Wharton, the leader of an elite and ruthless DEA task force. During a cartel raid, the team decides to skim $10 million in cash from the seizure for themselves. Their plan backfires when they go to retrieve the hidden money and find it gone. This creates a perfect powder keg of suspicion and paranoia. While they’re all investigated, no one is charged, and they are put back into action. The plot kicks into high gear when members of the team start getting picked off one by one in increasingly gruesome and inventive ways. Now, Breacher has to find out who is hunting his team, while simultaneously being haunted by a dark secret from his past.

The mystery is clearly meant to be a bloody, modern interpretation of a classic “stranded and hunted” thriller formula. The problem is, the “whodunit” aspect falls flat because the story is just too messy to build any real suspense. The characters are an indistinguishable mass of nicknames like “Monster” (Sam Worthington), “Grinder” (Joe Manganiello), and “Sugar” (Terrence Howard), making it difficult to keep track of who is who, let alone care when they meet their grisly end. The film gives you little reason to invest in them, as they are an intentionally unlikable bunch of thugs who treat civilians with contempt, break the law without a second thought, and generally act like cartoon villains with badges. When a character is killed off, it’s often not a shocking, gut-wrenching twist, but more of a shrug: “Oh, that guy’s gone now.” The plot becomes less about solving a puzzle and more about waiting for the next spectacularly bloody demise.

And those demises are where David Ayer’s direction makes its most “memorable” impact. The violence in Sabotage is not your typical Schwarzenegger shoot-’em-up. It is unflinchingly brutal and hyper-realistic, leaning heavily into the kind of gruesome, elaborate set-pieces that feel borrowed from the horror genre. We’re not talking about clean, one-shot kills; we’re talking about brutal, drawn-out murders involving trains, industrial equipment, and a staggering amount of viscera. The camera lingers on open wounds, bodies nailed to ceilings, and the general gory aftermath of each death with a kind of morbid fascination. The film’s obsession with gore is relentless. It even opens with a scene of Breacher watching a video of his family being tortured, setting a grim, nasty tone that never quite lets up. It feels like Ayer is trying to show the brutal, unglamorous reality of violence, but it quickly crosses the line into exploitation, making the film a punishing watch for anyone not specifically seeking out that level of graphic brutality.

The cast is a mixed bag, and it’s one of the more interesting paradoxes of the film. Schwarzenegger, despite being the star, is a strange fit for this material. Critics noted that he seems to be trying to give a more “dark and complex performance,” mining reserves of darkness he rarely accesses. However, the movie around him doesn’t quite support that ambition. He’s still “Arnold,” and his innate charisma and larger-than-life persona often clash with the grim, nasty world Ayer has created. His presence is too big for the bleak mundanity the movie is striving for, creating a constant tension between the action hero audiences expect and the broken, haunted man the script demands. In stark contrast, it was the supporting female cast that often stole the show. Mireille Enos delivers a truly fearless and unhinged performance as Lizzy, the team’s drug-addicted female member, bringing a level of manic energy that is genuinely engaging. Olivia Williams, as the no-nonsense homicide detective Caroline Brentwood, is also a standout. She plays the “only sane person in the room” with an air of world-weary professionalism that feels like it belongs in a better movie. But even her character is dragged into the muck, with a strange and unnecessary romance that feels forced and out of place.

It’s almost impossible to discuss Sabotage without talking about the tone. The film is relentlessly cynical, presenting a world where the line between law enforcement and the cartels is practically non-existent. Ayer, who has explored the dark side of law enforcement in previous work, seems to be asking a bold question here: what happens when cops are worse than the criminals? The answer, according to the film, is a lot of violence and a total lack of moral compass. This cynical view is further dragged down by a barrage of cheap, sophomoric humor. The script is peppered with scatological jokes, crude sexual banter, and homophobic slurs that feel less like “gritty realism” and more like the writers are trying to be edgy just for the sake of it. This creates a bizarre, off-putting atmosphere where the dark, philosophical musings about corruption are undercut by a high-school-level obsession with bodily functions, making the whole experience feel awkward and juvenile.

In the end, Sabotage is a textbook example of a movie that is sabotaged by its own ambitions. It boasts a director with a distinctive style for crime stories, a legendary action star trying something different, and a cast full of talented actors. Yet, it’s ultimately sunk by a script that can’t balance its whodunit premise with its over-the-top gore, and a tone that can’t decide if it’s a serious crime drama or a nasty, nihilistic joke. It’s not boring, and you can’t say Ayer didn’t try something different with the action genre, but the result is an ugly, mean-spirited, and often just plain unpleasant film. For a fascinating look at what happens when a good idea goes horribly off the rails, Sabotage is a case study in wasted potential. But for a good movie? You’ll want to look elsewhere.

Brad reviews FELON (2008), starring Stephen Dorff and Val Kilmer. 


FELON is a movie that caught my attention when I was scrolling through Val Kilmer’s filmography on IMDB. I was looking for a movie and performance that seemed worthy of his talents, and this one stood out to me based on its high rating. It was directed by Ric Roman Waugh, who has helmed several solid Gerard Butler films over the last decade, including ANGEL HAS FALLEN (2019), GREENLAND (2020), and KANDAHAR (2023). I decided to go ahead and check it out on a lazy, and hot, Sunday afternoon in Arkansas. 

Stephen Dorff stars as Wade Porter, a man whose life takes a serious turn when he kills a burglar who has broken into his home. He’s sentenced to 3 years in prison for manslaughter and soon learns just how difficult it is to survive in prison. In what may be the best performance of his career, Dorff’s transformation from business-minded family man to brutal, prison survivor is incredible. As hard as he becomes, you never stop seeing the decent man trapped beneath the hardened exterior that prison forces on him. Val Kilmer plays John Smith, a mysterious lifer whose emotional scars and wisdom prove invaluable to Porter’s survival. While Smith may never go down as one of Kilmer’s most well-known characters, he gives an excellent, understated performance that proved he could still command the screen.

After looking through the IMDB profile for FELON, I expected a gritty prison drama with plenty of violence. You do get that, but I was surprised by how much the film affected me emotionally. This movie sets up a scenario that proves how quickly an ordinary guy’s life can be destroyed by one difficult situation, and then how hard it is to hold on to your humanity when your new world is completely built on violence. 

Director Waugh is able to keep the stakes high from the very beginning of the film to its end. Porter not only has to fight with all he has to survive behind the walls of the prison, but he also has to do whatever he can to to hold his family together, especially when it looks like his wife Laura (Marisol Nichols) is going to divorce him. There is a lot of violence behind the prison walls, but it feels ugly rather than entertaining, which adds meaning and a layer of depth to the film. I want to shout out Harold Perrineau, who I know from the TV series LOST. He is absolutely chilling as the evil prison lieutenant Jackson, who lost his own humanity years earlier and who now treats inmates as nothing more than pawns in his own ugly game. His performance is especially affecting when coupled with Dorff’s decent character. 

Val Kilmer put his name on a lot of movies later in his career that aren’t that great. FELON isn’t a classic, but it’s a very strong film. After enjoying their work together in THUNDERHEART, I really enjoyed seeing Kilmer work again with Sam Shepard, who plays his last remaining friend here. It’s a wonderful bonus for a low budget film from 2008. What stayed with me most, though, is the film’s reminder that justice and fairness aren’t always the same thing. Wade goes to prison wanting to quietly serve his time so he can move on with his life, but he quickly learns that survival often depends on abandoning the ideals that allow him to be a man of integrity in the real world. It’s a somewhat unsettling thought that has stuck with me after the movie ended. 

FELON is a film that’s probably never received the attention it deserved, but it’s a good prison drama. Anchored by excellent performances from Stephen Dorff and Val Kilmer, it provides an emotionally compelling story that’s well worth a watch. If you’re a fan of Val Kilmer like I am, this one’s a forgotten gem! 


Sabotage (2014, directed by David Ayer)


Atlanta Homicide detective Caroline Brentwood (Olivia Williams) and her partner, Darius Jackson (Harold Perrineau), are the primaries on the murder of a former DEA agent.  Their investigation leads them to an elite special operations team led by “Breacher” Wharton (Arnold Schwarzenegger).  Wharton and his crew were previously suspended for six months while the FBI investigates their last raid and why there was a $10 million dollar discrepancy between the amount of money the team reporter and the amount of money the FBI was expecting to be recovered.  Someone is murdering the members of Breacher’s team one-by-one.  Breacher and Brentwood investigate the murder and what happened to the money but they both discover that they can’t trust anyone.

Sabotage has got a cast that is full of talent and familiar faces, including Sam Worthington, Mireille Enos, Terrence Howard, Joe Manganiello, Martin Donavon, and Josh Holloway.  It also has one truly great action scene, a violent chase down a busy Atlanta street that comes to sudden and very bloody conclusion.  The film’s final scene takes Sabotage into western territory, with Schwarzenegger dominating the screen like a larger-than-life Sergio Leone hero.  It’s just too bad that the rest of the movie isn’t as a good as its final shot or that one chase scene.  Unfortunately, most of the film feels repetitive and half-baked, with way too much time being wasted on supporting characters who tend to blend together.

Arnold Schwarzenegger gives one of his better performances.  When he made Sabotage, he was no longer a governor and he was also no longer an automatic box office draw and there’s a tired weariness to his performance.  Unfortunately, the rest of the cast is either miscast (Olivia Williams) or stuck playing one-dimensional characters (everyone else).  There’s enough good action sequences to keep Sabotage watchable and Schwarzenegger shows that he can actually be a very good actor but it’s also easy to see why this film didn’t reignite his his career.

King of New York (1990, directed by Abel Ferrara)


Drug kingpin Frank White (Christopher Walken) has been released from prison and is again on the streets of New York City.  Frank might say that he’s gone straight but, as soon as he’s free, he’s  partying with his old crew (including Laurene Fishburne, Steve Buscemi, Giancarlo Esposito, and others).   While Frank’s agent (Paul Calderon) goes to all of the other city’s gangsters and explains that they can either get out of Frank’s way or die, three detectives (Victor Argo, David Caruso, and Wesley Snipes) make plans to take Frank out by any means necessary.  Meanwhile, Frank is donating money to politicians, building hospitals, and presenting himself as New York’s savior.

King of New York is the epitome of a cult film.  Directed by Abel Ferrara, the dark and violent King of New York was originally dismissed by critics and struggled to find an audience during its initial theatrical run.  (It was lumped in with and overshadowed by other 1990 gangster films like Goodfellas and Godfather Part III.)  But it was later rediscovered on both cable and home video and now it’s rightly considered to be a stone cold crime classic.  Walken gives one of his best performances as Frank White and that’s not a surprise.  The film was clearly made to give Walken a chance to show off what he could do with a lead role and Walken captures Frank’s charisma and humor without forgetting that he’s essentially a sociopath.  Walken gives a performance that feels like James Cagney updated for the end of the 80s.  What’s even more impressive is that all of the supporting characters are just as memorable as Walken’s Frank White.  From Laurence Fishburne’s flamboyant killer to David Caruso’s hotheaded cop to Paul Calderon’s slippery agent to Janet Julian’s morally compromised attorney, everyone gives a strong performance.  (I’m usually not a Caruso fan but he’s legitimately great here.)  They come together to bring the film’s world to life.  Everyone has their own reason for obsessing on Frank White and his return to power.  I’ve always especially appreciated Victor Argo as the weary, veteran detective who finds himself trapped by Caruso and Wesley Snipes’s impulsive plan to take down Frank White.  Frank White and the cops go to war and it’s sometimes hard to know whose side to be on.

Director Abel Ferrara has had a long and storied career, directing films about morally ambiguous people who are often pushed to extremes.  Personally, I think King of New York is his best film, a portrait of not just a criminal but also of a city that combines the best and the worst of human nature.  The action is exciting, the cast is superb, and Frank’s justifications for his behavior sometimes make a surprising amount of sense.  Thought there’s occasionally been speculation that it could happen, there’s never been a sequel to King of New York and it doesn’t need one.  King of New York is a film that tell you all that you need to know about Frank White and the city that he calls home.

 

Trailer: Sabotage (Red Band)


Sabotage

Since Arnold Schwarzenneger left the California governor’s office and politics he’s gone back to doing what he was good at (or at least good at during the 80’s and 90’s). His first couple of films since getting back in front of the camera has been average at best (though I must say that Last Stand was pretty fun).

Now, we have him back in another film, but this time around one that’s a very hard, gritty R-rating that he hasn’t done since ever. He’s always had rated-R films, but they had a certain fun tone to them. With David Ayer’s Sabotage it looks like Schwarzenneger is trying to flex his hardcore bones. It’s definitely a surprise to hear him curse like a sailor during the red band trailer.

Sabotage is set for a March 28, 2014, release date.

Trailer: Zero Dark Thirty


After the success Kathryn Bigelow had with her award-winning film The Hurt Locker it was just part of the norm that people began to wonder what she would do to follow-up the film which gave her the Oscar for Best Director. There was talk of her making an action thriller about the Tri-Border Region in South America that many intelligence agencies consider a major haven for global organized crime and terrorist groups of all kinds. This particular idea bounced around for months then nothing came of it. Then news came about around late-Spring to early Summer 2011 that Bigelow and The Hurt Locker writer and collaborator Mark Boal came upon the idea that would be Bigelow’s follow-up.

The film that the two decided upon would be an action thriller detailing the global manhunt for Osama Bin Laden. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but this decision became even more important once news broke out on May 2, 2011 that the hunt for America’s Most Wanted criminal was finally over and that Operation Neptune Spear was a success with the death of Bin Laden.

Zero Dark Thirtyis the title of Bigelow’s film about the details and backstory which led up to this special operations mission on May 2, 2011. The first trailer for the film has been released by Sony and it’s short on details other than some voice overs over satellite imagery. I’m sure there’ll be more trailers that will open up what this film will truly be about leading up to it’s December release date (just in time for awards season).

It’s going to be interesting how Bigelow will do with this follow-up to The Hurt Locker. If her history is anything to go by then it shouldn’t disappoint even if some of her detractors will be chomping at the bit to see it fail and further see her Best Director Oscar win as a fluke done to keep the award from her ex-husband James Cameron.

Zero Dark Thirty is scheduled for a December 19, 2012 release date…just two days from the end of the world.

Horror Review: 28 Weeks Later (dir. by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo)


Danny Boyle and Alex Garland’s 28 Days Later was made in such a way that any sequel was almost destined to struggle in its shadow. Their film was not only one of the most influential horror films of the early 2000s, but also an exercise in experimental filmmaking and cinematic reinvention. It fused realism and terror through its digital photography, unconventional pacing, and minimalist score. Any follow-up would have to contend not just with its fresh twist on the zombie mythos (despite the infected not technically being zombies) but also its unique atmosphere, music, and stripped-down aesthetic. Against those odds, 28 Weeks Later manages to stand as an impressive and worthy successor—one that in some respects even surpasses the original.

Spanish director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo approaches the material with a clear reverence for Boyle and Garland’s vision while imprinting his own stylistic and emotional signature on the sequel. From the very first scene, Fresnadillo establishes a tone that blends despair and dread with human frailty. The film opens on a stunningly tense prologue in which Don (a gaunt and haunted Robert Carlyle) and Alice (Catherine McCormack) are living with several others in a rural cottage outside London during the first weeks of the Rage virus outbreak. In this sequence, Fresnadillo distills the central moral dilemma that runs through both films: whether to preserve one’s humanity through compassion or to surrender to pure survival instinct. When Don is forced to choose between rescuing his wife and saving himself, his decision—while horrifying to watch—feels horribly plausible. The following chase through open fields as he flees dozens of Rage-infected attackers captures the raw panic that made Boyle’s original so memorable, yet Fresnadillo shoots it with a sharper sense of chaos and movement. It sets the tone for a story that is both intimate in its human tragedy and apocalyptic in its reach.

Following this intense opening, the film transitions through an introductory credits montage that fills in the aftermath. Don’s escape was not the end of the story but the beginning of a grim reconstruction effort. The British Isles, we are told, were swiftly quarantined when it became clear the infection could not be contained. Twenty-eight weeks later, with the infected population presumed dead from starvation, a U.S.-led NATO force spearheads an ambitious effort to repopulate and rebuild. Led by General Stone (played with austere calm by Idris Elba), the military has converted London’s Isle of Dogs into a heavily fortified safe zone. This enclave represents both restoration and repression—a fragile bubble of civilization built atop the bones of horror.

Within this environment lives Don, now employed as a maintenance manager and struggling to suppress the guilt from his past. The arrival of his two children, Tammy (Imogen Poots) and Andy (Mackintosh Muggleton), who were abroad in Spain during the initial outbreak, reopens emotional wounds he had hoped were sealed. Their reunion, though heartfelt, carries an undercurrent of deception. Don’s explanation of their mother’s fate does not align with what the audience has already witnessed. This dishonesty propels the children into dangerous territory when they decide to sneak out of the Green Zone to retrieve personal belongings from their old cottage. While this act of recklessness fits with youthful impulses and emotional longing, it also feels like the film’s only contrived lapse in logic—an inevitable but frustrating horror trope that sets off the story’s next catastrophe.

What the children discover at the cottage reintroduces the virus in a shocking way. Without realizing it, they bring the Rage infection back into the supposedly secure refuge of London. As soon as containment is broken, the military response escalates with brutal efficiency. General Stone declares a “Code Red,” authorizing the use of extreme measures to eradicate the infected—including indiscriminate firebombing of civilian areas. These scenes echo not only classic apocalyptic tropes but also resonate as a grim reflection of post-9/11 militarism. Many viewers and critics interpreted this act of mass destruction as allegory for the United States’ War on Terror and the ethical corruption of occupation forces. Fresnadillo’s direction, while hinting at this reading, avoids heavy-handed political critique. His portrayal of military overreaction feels less ideological than tragic—a manifestation of fear, confusion, and the blunt-force nature of institutional power. The armed forces are not villains so much as desperate men trapped in an impossible moral quagmire. As in George A. Romero’s The Crazies, which 28 Weeks Later strongly recalls, the destructive consequences stem not from malice but from the futility of trying to maintain order amid chaos.

Where 28 Days Later focused on a small group of survivors and the intimate erosion of morality under crisis, 28 Weeks Later expands the scale dramatically. Fresnadillo transforms Boyle’s compact nightmare into a large-scale urban apocalypse. The sweeping aerial shots of a deserted London—bridges empty, streets silent—hammer home the desolation. When the city is engulfed in flames and gas clouds during the firebombing sequence, the imagery becomes both terrifying and grimly beautiful, a vision of civilization consuming itself. The sequel’s tone is darker and more nihilistic than Boyle’s film, which allowed a trace of optimism in its ending. Here, even innocence becomes a catalyst for doom: it is the children’s actions, driven by love and loss, that inadvertently reignite the infection and condemn the survivors to another wave of horror. This subversion of the “innocent child” trope underscores Fresnadillo’s bleak worldview—where sentiment and humanity, however noble, can still create destruction.

In several ways, 28 Weeks Later aligns more closely with Romero’s Living Dead films than with Boyle’s original. Though Boyle borrowed some of Romero’s thematic DNA, Fresnadillo fully embraces it. The infected may not be reanimated corpses, but the societal collapse, moral ambiguity, and recurring cycles of violence all trace back to Romero’s legacy. One of the sequel’s most striking qualities is its unflinching pessimism: even individuals acting out of love or duty become agents of devastation. The so-called survivors are reduced to primal instincts—running, hiding, killing—in a landscape where institutional power and human decency dissolve together. Fresnadillo makes the action kinetic without glamorizing it. His camera work, switching between chaotic handheld intensity and precise, panoramic destruction, keeps the viewer off balance, mirroring the unpredictability of the apocalypse itself.

The performances elevate the material beyond genre expectations. Robert Carlyle’s portrayal of Don is both gut-wrenching and terrifying. His character’s transformation—from remorseful father to infected embodiment of pure rage—serves as the film’s emotional and thematic anchor. Imogen Poots, in an early standout role, conveys resilience and vulnerability in equal measure, while Jeremy Renner delivers a strong supporting turn as Sergeant Doyle, the soldier torn between obedience and morality. Their performances, though sometimes confined within the film’s relentless pace, enrich its exploration of guilt, loyalty, and the futility of control.

Despite sacrificing some character depth for momentum, the film’s taut editing and grim atmosphere sustain tension throughout. Fresnadillo’s direction never loses sight of his central message: that humanity’s efforts to rebuild are perpetually haunted by its capacity for self-destruction. Even as the few surviving characters reach supposed safety, the final scenes undermine any hope of resolution. The closing image—infected sprinting through the streets of Paris—reminds viewers that, although the city itself appears intact and bustling in daylight, the Rage virus has now breached mainland Europe. This ending shifts the scale of threat from the quarantined British Isles to the broader continent, making containment and redemption feel like dangerous illusions.

As a sequel, 28 Weeks Later earns its place alongside 28 Days Later by honoring the original’s DNA while pushing its boundaries. It retains the visceral dread and societal commentary but broadens the lens to encompass collective failure rather than individual struggle. Fresnadillo’s approach feels colder and more apocalyptic, transforming the story into a study of fear’s infectious nature—social, political, and biological. While his film might not achieve the same creative purity as Boyle’s indie landmark, it succeeds in redefining the tone, expanding the mythology, and pushing the series toward a darker, more cinematic landscape.

In the end, 28 Weeks Later is both a continuation and an escalation—a relentless, despairing study of human fragility under crisis. Its pacing, performances, and imagery combine to create an experience that’s not only horrifying but profoundly unsettling in its realism. If 28 Days Later showed us the collapse of civilization, its sequel reveals the hopeless struggle to rebuild it. Few horror sequels accomplish that much, and fewer still end with such haunting inevitability.

What Lisa Watched Tonight: The Killing Jar (directed by Mark Young)


Earlier tonight, I happened to catch, on Chiller, the 2011 film The Killing Jar.

Why Was I Watching It?

I was hoping that, at some point, the classic Siouxsie and the Banshees song would show up on the soundtrack.  It didn’t.

What’s It About?

I’m trying to work up the strength necessary to go into it all but basically, there’s this diner down south and one night, right around closing time, a news story comes over the radio about a brutal murder that was committed at a nearby farm.  There’s only a few people left in the diner — a depressed waitress (Tara from Buffy, a.k.a. Amber Benson), a tough trucker (Kevin Gage), a wimpy deputy (Lew Temple), a mysterious stranger (Harold Perrineau), two teenagers who don’t matter, and the Danny Trejo-look alike who apparently owns the place (Danny Trejo).  Anyway, all these people are so upset to hear about the murders that they blame them on the first surly stranger who happens to step into the diner.  Unfortunately, that stranger is played by Michael Madsen and he responds by shooting up the place (Danny Trejo’s head explodes in close-up) and holding the survivors hostage.  Things get a little bit more complicated when Mr. Greene (Jake Busey) shows up and reveals that someone at the diner happens to be a contract killer known as Mr. Smith.  Guess what?  It’s not Michael Madsen.

After typing all that, I feel I have a responsibility to add that this all sounds a lot more interesting than it actually is.

What Works

Well, the big “twist” is kinda obvious and you probably figured out just from reading the previous paragraph.  However, it’s still kinda fun, kinda being the word to remember.  Benson and Gage both give pretty good performances and Busey seems to be having a lot of fun.  Madsen, to be honest, seems to be on the verge of falling asleep in a few scenes but still, he can say more with an annoyed eye squint than most actors can with a 10-page monologue.  However, the film really belongs to the always underappreciated Harold Perrineau and his combative, confrontational scene with Madsen is one of the few instances when the film really comes to life.

Danny Trejo’s head explodes with style.

What Doesn’t Work

Oh.  My.  God.  Where to begin?

I can count the number of succesful “hostage” films on one hand and let’s just say that The Killing Jar is no Dog Day Afternoon.  Taking place entirely in one location and with a small cast mouthing melodramatic dialogue, The Killing Jar unfolds like one of those really bad plays that an ex-boyfriend of mine used to write in high school.  They always ended with everyone dead and always seemed to feature at least one evil redhead who ended up crying over the dead body of her ex-boyfriend.

Director Young does not help matters by confusing tension with meaningless pauses.  There’s a lot of scenes of people glaring at each other but since nobody really comes across like a human being, the glares don’t mean anything.

HOWEVER, what really didn’t work about this film was the fact that the first 20 minutes of the film was taken up with Amber Benson asking people if they wanted a slice of “Pecan Pie,” that she claimed was “the best this side of the Mason-Dixon.”  The problem here is that the film was clearly meant to be set in my part of the world.  And in my part of the world, we pronounce it “PEH-cahn.”  However, Benson repeatedly pronounced it “PEE-can.”  Seriously, this annoyed me more than words can express.  Listen up all you aspiring filmmakers — if you’re going to insist on setting your crappy films in my part of the world, at least try to get the pronunciation right.  Speaking for myself, I don’t have the slightest idea what a PEE-can is supposed to be but it sounds kinda nasty.  I’ll take a PEH-cahn over a PEE-can any day.

PEH-cahn Pie.  Good Lord, people, it’s not that difficult.

“Oh My God!  Just Like Me!” Moments:

None.

Lessons Learned:

I have no desire to ever eat another pecan pie.