TV Review: Twin Peaks The Return Part 11 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on July 24, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The latest episode of Twin Peaks begins, appropriately enough, in Twin Peaks, with a group of kids tossing a baseball around outside of a trailer park. When one of them misses a catch, he chases the ball out into the middle of the road.

Needless to say, this scared the Hell out of me.

Seriously, we all know what happens when you run out into the middle of the road in Twin Peaks. Richard Horne appears out of nowhere, screaming about cocaine, and basically runs you down in a stolen pickup truck. Needless to say, I was totally prepared for this kid to die but it didn’t happen. Instead, he spotted a seriously injured Miriam (Sarah Jean Long) dragging herself out of the woods. Apparently, she survived being attacked by Richard at the beginning of last week’s episode.

Speaking of trailer park drama, someone calls Becky Burnett (Amanda Seyfried) and informs her that her good-for-nothing husband, Steve (Caleb Landry Jones), is at an apartment with Gersten Hayward (Alicia Witt). Enraged, Becky screams that she doesn’t have a car. However, she does have a mother, Shelley (Madchen Amick) and Shelley knows a little something about bad boys. When Becky calls and says that she needs her mom’s car, Shelley runs from the diner and heads to the trailer park.

When Shelley arrives, she discovers that Becky 1) has a gun and 2) wants the car so that she can track down Steve and shoot him. As Shelley gets out of the car, Becky jumps in and starts to drive off. Shelley jumps onto the hood of the car but ends up flying off as Becky speeds out of the trailer park. Fortunately, Shelley only ends up with a skinned knee. Carl (Harry Dean Stanton), who has apparently seen his share of Becky and Steve’s drama, uses a flute to summon a VW microbus and soon, Carl and Shelley are on the road!

It turns out that Carl also knows Maggie (Jodi Thelen), the dispatcher at the sheriff’s office. While sitting, with Shelley, in the back of the microbus, Carl calls Maggie and asks to be put through to Deputy Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook). That’s right — Becky is Shelley and Bobby’s daughter! (Okay, that’s actually not a huge shock but seriously, I’ve been wondering if the revival would ever acknowledge Bobby and Shelley’s relationship in the original series.) Shelley tells Bobby that Becky has a gun and they’re not sure where she went.

“Oh God,” Carl says, in a tone of voice that suggests he’s not particularly shocked by any of this.

Meanwhile, at an apartment building, Becky bangs on the door to Room 208. When the woman in the next room pops out her head and announces that “They just left,” Becky responds by shooting the door six times. (And, literally everyone in Twin Peaks responds by calling the sheriff’s department.)

Meanwhile, in South Dakota, Gordon (David Lynch), Albert (Miguel Ferrer), Diane (Laura Dern), Tammy (Chrysta Bell), MacKlay (Brent Briscoe), and Bill Hastings (Matthew Lillard) pull up in front of the deserted farm where Hastings claims he and Ruth Davenport found the portal that led them to Major Briggs. Let’s see if I can keep straight what happened here:

A fat little Woodsman kept appearing and then vanishing. Gordon, Albert, and Diane all spotted the Woodsman. None of them seemed to be particularly surprised.
Gordon, and only Gordon, saw a swirling vortex, much like the one from Donnie Darko, appear in the sky.
Gordon nearly got sucked into the vortex. Before Albert pulled him back, Gordon saw what appeared to be three Woodsmen standing on a staircase.
Gordon and Albert stumbled across the headless body of Ruth Davenport.
Sitting in the backseat of MacKlay’s car Bill looked really concerned and I was briefly reminded of Lillard’s performance in 13 Ghosts.
That fat little woodsman snuck up behind MacKlay’s car. Diane saw the woodsman but said nothing.
MacKlay glanced in the backseat and started to scream.
Everyone else glanced into the car.
Suddenly, Bill Hasting was missing the top half of his head.
“He’s dead,” Gordon commented. (Lynch delivered the line with perfect nonchalance.)

That night, at the Double R, Bobby sits in a booth with Becky and Shelley. Becky says she wants a divorce but that she also still loves Steve. Bobby tells her that Becky is going to have to pay for the door, which Becky is not at all happy to hear. Bobby goes on to reveal that he’s convinced the Sheriff not to arrest Becky and that he’s through allowing Steve to get away with stuff. From now on, if Steve breaks the law, Bobby’s not going to step in to protect him from the consequences. When Bobby and Shelley offer to help her get away from Steve, Becky suddenly starts to defend her abusive husband. It’s a touching and rather sad scene, a chance to see Bobby and Shelley as true adults. However, it all ends when Red (Balathazar Getty) walks up to the diner. Shelley’s face lights up as she runs outside to see him. Meanwhile, Bobby and Becky exchange looks. Just as Becky is blind to Steve’s true character, Shelley is blind to who Red is.

(Shelley went from Leo to Bobby — back when Bobby was still a drug dealer — to Red. Shelley! I like bad boys too but goddamn … you can do so much better! Gordon Cole, for instance, was in love with you…)

As soon as Shelley reenters the Double R and sits back down with her daughter and ex-husband, gunshots ring out! Oh my God, is Red trying to kill Bobby!? Or is one of Red’s enemies (Richard maybe) trying to kill Shelley!? Those were my first two thoughts but no — it turns out that a kid accidentally fired a gun that he happened to find in his parent’s SUV. Bobby immediately brings order to the scene and it’s interesting to see just how much of a responsible adult and authority figure Bobby Briggs has actually become.

(Still, I always wonder if everyone’s forgotten that Bobby murdered a Canadian drug smuggler in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. Bobby shot off the top of his head, in much the same way that the fat little woodsman ripped off the top of Bill’s head.)

The scene ends on an odd (and rather grotesque) note when Bobby tells the woman in the car behind the SUV that she needs to stop honking her horn. The woman shouts that she has to get home and that they have miles to go. She also says that the passenger in the car with her is sick. In the passenger’s seat, a zombiesh girl looks at Bobby and starts to spit something up.

At the Sheriff’s Department, Truman (Robert Forster) and Hawk (Michael Horse) look at a map, trying to pinpoint where Major Briggs’s note told them to go. Actually, they have two maps. Truman has Google Earth while Hawk has an old Indian map. The Log Lady (Catherine Coulson) calls and asks if Hawk has found something. “My log is afraid of fire,” she explains, “There is fire where you are going.”

Back in South Dakota, Gordon is concerned because his hand is shaking. (In the original series, a twitching arm or hand often indicated that BOB was entering our world from the Black Lodge.) Albert shows Gordon a picture that he took of several numbers that were written on Ruth Davenport’s arm. Albert believes that the numbers are coordinates. Diane smokes. Tammy and MacKlay come by with donuts and coffee. “Ah!” Gordon shouts when he sees the donuts, “the policeman’s dream!”

In Las Vegas, everyone is still hilariously unaware that Dougie (Kyle MacLachlan) is an empty shell who is mostly concerned with coffee and shiny badges. Bushnell Mullins (Don Murray) tells Dougie that it’s obvious that Dougie’s “investigative work” has exposed a connection between police corruption, organized crime, and the insurance industry. As Mullins praises Dougie for his hard work, Dougie blankly drinks his coffee. Mullins says that, despite their fearsome reputation, the Mitchum Brothers are not involved in any of the corruption.

“It’s somebody else,” Mullins says.

“Somebody else,” Dougie repeats.

“That right,” Mullins agrees.

It turns out that the Mitchums want to have a personal meeting with Dougie about their claim. (Of course, we know that the Mitchums want to kill Dougie because Tom Sizemore’s Anthony Sinclair framed Dougie for cheating them out of a claim.) Mullins gives Dougie a $30 million claim check to the give to the Mitchums and then explains all of the weird technical stuff that will allow the firm to make money even as if it pays off a huge claim. I couldn’t really follow it but Mullins was certainly proud of himself.

Mullins says that the Mitchums are sending a car to pick Dougie up for their meeting. Does Mullins realize that the Mitchums are planning to kill Dougie? And could that be the real reason that Mullins gave Dougie the check, as a way of convincing the Mitchums not to kill him? I’m not sure.

Fortunately, while walking out to the waiting limo, Dougie sees MIKE (Al Strobel) beckoning him to enter a small pastry shop. Dougie buys a cherry pie. As we shall soon see, MIKE is still looking out for him.

Dougie is then driven out to the desert by the same limo driver (Jay Larson) who previously drove him home from the casino. The Mitchums are waiting for him but it quickly turns out that neither Rodney (Robert Knepper) nor Bradley (Jim Belushi) is really that enthusiastic about killing Dougie. Despite the fact that he’s been having dreams about murdering Dougie, Bradley is especially reluctant. After all, Dougie took care of Ike the Spike for them. Plus, there was more to Bradley’s dream then just killing Dougie. Bradley just can’t remember what exactly.

They’re even more reluctant once they discover that 1) Dougie is carrying a pie with him (just as he was in Bradley’s dream) and 2) Dougie has a huge check for them. So, instead of killing Dougie, they take him out to eat. Dougie especially enjoys that pie. The old woman from the casino happens to enter the restaurant and she tells “Mr. Jackpots” that, ever since he helped her win all that money, her life has been perfect! Yay! Everyone’s a winner!

All in all, this was a pretty good episode. It was good to see that the story’s moving forward. I’m really liking Bobby Briggs (and Dana Ashbrook) as the voice of moral responsibility and the Las Vegas story remains far more entertaining than it has any right to be. And now that Gordon has seen the woodsmen, what will happen next?

I can’t wait to find out!

Twin Peaks on TSL:

TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Part 9 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on July 10, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I watched Part 9 of Twin Peaks on Showtime tonight, it occurred to me that there really are only two types of people in the world.

There are people who love Twin Peaks.

And there are people who hate Twin Peaks and therefore, really don’t matter.

The problem is that, despite not being that important, that second group of people tends to be very vocal. They really want you to know how much they hate Twin Peaks. It’s funny to listen to them because you can tell that they think they’re being truth tellers. They think that they — and they alone — have the guts to admit the truth about Twin Peaks.

They remind me of this idiot who was in a Literature class that I took at the University of North Texas. Not only did she loudly announce that she would not be reading Lolita but she also said, “Would anyone actually read this book if this class didn’t force them to!?”

(She really seemed to think she was the first person to ever ask that very simple-minded question.)

Seriously, some people are so fucking stupid. Fortunately, for the rest of us, there was a new episode of Twin Peaks tonight! Here’s what happened!

Things open in the present day. We are no longer in 1956 and, I have to admit, I was kind of relieved to see that. As much as I loved and was intrigued by Part 8, there was also a part of me that was worried that Lynch would spent the next 4 episodes following the Woodsman around as he asked random people, “Got a light?”

(Make no mistake. If Lynch had gone in that direction, I would have happily watched all four of those episodes. Though I may not always understand his intentions, I have total faith in Lynch as an artist.)

Doppelganger Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) walks down a country road, still covered in blood. He spots a red bandana sitting on a fence post and, with a look of disgust on his face, snatches it.

Above South Dakota, Gordon (David Lynch), Tammy (Chrysta Bell), Albert (Miguel Ferrer), and Diane (Laura Dern) sit on a plane. Albert and Diane sleep. Gordon talks on the phone with Colonel Davis, while Tammy listens. Davis tells Gordon that the body (if not the head) of Major Garland Briggs has been found in Buckhorn.

“I don’t appreciate your language at all!” Gordon shouts back.

No, Gordon — BUCKhorn!

(It’s a corny joke, to be honest. But, as an actor, David Lynch sells the Hell out of it. There’s something undeniably charming about how much fun Lynch seems to be having in the role of Gordon Cole.)

Back on the ground, Doppelganger Cooper meets two of his associates, Chantel (Jennifer Jason Leigh, returning for the first time since Part Two) and Gary “Hutch” Hutchens (Tim Roth!). They have apparently commandeered a farm. Gary tells Doppelganger Cooper that the farm’s owners are “out back. Sleepin’.”

Meanwhile, back on the plane, Gordon tells Diane that they’re making a stop in Buckhorn, South Dakota. “Fuck you!” Diane replies, “I want to go home.” However, Gordon reveals that it’s a blue rose case.

While Gordon is explaining to the pilot that they’ll be making an unscheduled stop, he gets a call from Warden Murphy (James Morrison.)

“Cooper flew the coop!” Gordon announces and, again, Lynch delivers it with such unapologetic gusto that you can’t help but love both the director and the character.

Back at the farm, Chantel and Doppelganger Cooper walk around back and we see an old couple laying dead on the ground. As Chantel watches, Doppelganger puts in a call to Duncan Todd (Patrick Fischler) in Las Vegas. He asks if Dougie is dead. When Todd replies, “Not yet,” Doppelganger tells him, “It better be done the next time I call.”

Hutch brings the Doppelganger a rifle and a box of bullets. The Doppelganger tells Hutch that he wants the Warden dead within the next two days and then he has a “double header for you in Las Vegas.” Hutch then tells Chantel, who is apparently his wife, to “give the bossman a wet one.” Doppelganger and Chantel share a passionate kiss.

(What’s interesting is that the Doppelganger actually seems to sincerely like both Hutch and Chantel. He even calls Chantel “sweetheart.”)

This is actually from Part 6 but it’s the Fuscos!

At the Las Vegas Police Department, my favorite detectives — the Fuscos (Eric Edelstein, Dave Koechner, and Larry Clarke) — are asking Bushnell (the wonderfully distinguished Don Murray) if he can think of anyone who would want to harm either Dougie or Janey-E (Naomi Watts). Bushnell says no, though tempers do run high in the insurance business. He also mentions that Dougie has been working for him for 12 years and that he can occasionally seem slow because of the lingering effects of a car accident.

My favorite Fusco — Smiley Fusco — starts to giggle.

Out in the hallway, Dougie and Janey-E sit on a bench and wait, Bushnell approaches and tells the blank-faced Dougie/Cooper that he can take the rest of the day off. Janey-E says that’s great. She needs to get him to a doctor, anyway. Meanwhile, Dougie/Cooper stares, entranced first by an American flag and then on a random secretary who is wearing the same type of red high heels that Audrey Horne used to wear. Finally, he stares at an electrical socket and we’re reminded that the residents of the Black Lodge often travel through electrical currents.

Meanwhile, in their office, the Fuscos discuss the fact that there is no legal record of Dougie Jones even existing before 1997. Could he be in witness protection? D. Fusco has a friend at the Justice Department that he says he can call. The Fuscos then start to talk about broken taillights, which leads to Smiley Fusco giggling. Soon, all the Fuscos are laughing! Good times!

But it’s not all fun and games. D. Fusco also takes Dougie/Cooper a cup of coffee, the better to get his finger prints and his DNA.

Speaking of fingerprints, another officer announces that the prints off that gun have come back! It belonged to Ike the Spike ( Christophe Zajac-Denek), who has apparently been tracked down to a cheap motel. The Fuscos rush to the motel to “join the fun.” The police catch Ike just as he’s leaving his motel room. Smiley Fusco starts to giggle.

At the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department, Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) and Andy (Harry Goaz) shop for furniture online. Lucy wants a beige chair. Andy wants a red chair. Andy says that they can get the beige chair so Lucy orders the red chair. They’re so cute!

At the Horne House, Johnny Horne (Eric Rondell, who I guess is replacing Robert Bauer in the role) slams his head into a wall, crashing to the floor and leaving a bloody hole in the plaster. Sylvia Horne (Jan D’Arcy) cries over Johnny’s body.

Deputy Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook) drops in on his mother (Charlotte Stewart), the wife of the late Garland Briggs. Bobby, however, does not come alone. He has brought Truman (Robert Forster) and Hawk (Michael Horse) with him. They ask her about Cooper’s final visit with Major Briggs, the visit that occurred the day before Briggs’s mysterious death.

Mrs. Briggs says that she’s not surprised. Before his death, Major Briggs told her that, one day, Truman, Hawk, and Bobby would ask her about Special Agent Dale Cooper. Mrs. Briggs says that the Major told her to give them something when they asked, a black tube that she has apparently been hiding in a chair for over 25 years.

What follows is a truly brilliant piece of acting from Charlotte Stewart, who previously starred in Lynch’s very first film, Eraserhead. Mrs. Briggs’s monologue, with it’s unapologetic mix of melodrama and sentiment, feels like a throw back to the old Twin Peaks. she explains that Major Briggs somehow always knew that Bobby would grow up to be a better man then he was at the time of the Major’s death.

At the Bucktorn morgue, Gordon, Tammy, Diane, and Albert meet with Knox (Adele Rene) and Macklay (Brent Briscoe). When Diane lights a cigarette, she deals with Macklay’s objections by pointing out that “It’s a fucking morgue!” After everyone else leaves to look at the Major’s headless body, Diane looks at a message on her phone: “AROUND THE DINNER TABLE. THE CONVERSATION IS LIVELY.”

Meanwhile, Macklay gets Gordon, Tammy, and Albert up to date on what’s been happening in the Bill Hasting case. Apparently, his lawyer — George — was arrested for the murder of Bill’s wife. (We, of course, know she was actually killed by the Doppelganger.) The day after, Bill’s secretary was killed by a car bomb.

“What’s happening in season 2?” Albert asks, a cheerful acknowledgement of the fact that Twin Peaks started out as a deliberately over the top nighttime soap opera.

As they stand over the Major’s headless body, Macklay goes on to explain that Bill and Ruth Davenport were working on “some strange little blog about an alternate dimension.” Apparently, in his final post, Bill wrote, “Today we entered the Zone and we met the Major…” Meanwhile, the coroner (Jane Adams) shows them the ring that she found in the Major’s stomach. She reads the inscription, “To Dougie, Love Janey-E.”

In Twin Peaks, Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) is still stoned and lost in the wilderness. He looks down at his shoes and hears a voice: “I am not your foot.” Is Jerry just really high or has his foot been possessed by something from the Black Lodge?

At the Sheriff’s Department, everyone is on their lunch break. Everyone but Truman, Bobby, and Hawk. They’re too busy trying to open that black tube. Fortunately, Bobby knows how to do it. (It basically involves throwing it down on the ground several times.) Inside the tube are two small pieces of paper. The first features a drawing of the two mountains (the literal twin peaks) and the following directions: “253 yards, east of Jack Rabbit’s Palace. Before leaving Jack Rabbit’s Palace, put some soil from that area in your pocket.” There are also two dates (10/1 and 10/2) and a time (2:53). Truman says that’s two days from now.

Bobby laughs, saying his father has apparently set all of this up so that he can be the hero. Apparently, Bobby knows exactly where Jack Rabbit’s Palace is because his father used to take him there when he was a little kid. It’s a place in the wilderness where they went to “make up stories.” Bobby was even the one who named the place Jack Rabbit’s Palace.

“He saw all this,” Truman says, “whatever this is.”

On the second piece of paper are a series of numbers and two words: “Cooper/Cooper.”

“Two Coopers,” Hawk says.

Back in South Dakota, Diane is joined outside by Gordon and Tammy. They watch Diane smoke. Gordon takes a puff off the cigarette. It’s a classic Lynch scene, one that turns social awkwardness into an art form.

Later, as Gordon, Albert, Diane, and Macklay watch, Tammy talks to Bill Hasting (Matthew Lillard). Bill does not appear to be adjusting well to prison. He will not stop sobbing. Tammy asks him about his blog, “Search for the Zone.” Bill explains that Ruth was very good at discovering hidden records. She could pinpoint the exact time and the exact place where they would be able to enter another dimension. Bill says that he and Ruth met the Major in another dimension. The Major was “hibernating” but he wanted to go to a different place and he asked Bill and Ruth to get him the “coordinates” of a secret military base. Bill says that they got the numbers but then “something terrible happened.” Others entered the dimension and attacked the Major and demanded to know the name of his Bill’s wife.

Tammy interrupts to show Bill six pictures and she asks him to identify the Major. Bill points to a picture of Garland Briggs. Bill then says that, after they gave him the coordinates, the Major floated up in the air and said two words: “Cooper, Cooper…” It was beautiful, Bill says. And then Ruth was dead and then suddenly, Bill woke up in his own house.

“I want to go scuba diving,” Bill wails.

Watching the scene, Albert says, “Fruitcake, anyone?”

That night, at the Great Northern, Ben (Richard Beymer) and Beverly (Ashley Judd) are still listening to the strange humming in his office. (Ben doesn’t seem to be too concerned about Johnny smashing his head into a wall earlier that day.) Then, in a totally surprising turn of events, Ben tells Beverly that he can’t have an affair with her.

“You’re a good man, Ben,” Beverly replies, reminding us that she’s still relatively new to town.

At the Roadhouse, two apparent meth heads have a conversation. One complains that she has a “wicked rash” under her arm pit.

And our episode ends with another haunting musical performance, this time from Au Revoir, Simone.

Obviously, this episode will not get as much attention as Part 8. This is a much more straight forward episode, or at least as straight forward as Twin Peaks is ever going to get. That said, after the high of Part 8, I was happy to get this rather normal episode. Not only did it reintroduce us to some characters and actors who I thought we may never see again (like Jennifer Jason Leigh and Matthew Lillard) but it also linked up several of the storylines that have been developing since Twin Peaks: The Return began. With this episode, David Lynch assured us that he does have a destination in mind.

I can’t wait to see where he’s taking us.

Twin Peaks on TSL:

TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Part 7 (dir by David Lynch) (SPOILERS)

Posted on June 19, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I sit here typing this, I just noticed that Vox has a new analysis of the show. The headline reads: “Twin Peaks Brings New Meaning To The Idea of an 18-hour movie.” Hey, Vox! I said that three weeks ago! I know you guys claim to be the smartest people in the world but you need to give credit where credit is due! Anyway … Welcome back to Twin Peaks!

Before even getting into recapping tonight’s episode, I’m just going to say it. I absolutely loved this episode. While I’m not going to claim that it’s the best of the season so far (it’ll take a lot to beat any of the first four episodes), I think it can be argued that Part 7 is perhaps the most entertaining. Without sacrificing any of Lynch’s signature style, this episode moved the story forward and served to prove — regardless of what some naysayers may claim — that there is a method behind the madness. Even though we’re not sure where, Lynch is taking us someplace. We just have to be willing to keep the faith until we reach our destination.

We open, as so many episodes have, in the woods. Jerry Horne (David Patrick Kelly) stares at the trees, totally stoned. He calls Ben (Richard Beymer) at the Great Northern and announces that someone has stolen his car. Ben, not being fluent in the language of marijuana, is of little help.

At the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department, Hawk (Michael Horse) shows Frank (Robert Forster) the pages that he previously found in the bathroom stall. It turns out that they are pages from Laura’s diary, in which she writes about a dream she had in which a woman named Annie appeared and told her that she had been with Dale and that the “good Dale was trapped in the Black Lodge and could not come out.”

Hawk explains that the diary was found, years ago, in Harold Smith’s house. Hawk also shows Frank that, on one of the pages, Laura had written that she knew who BOB was. Hawk suggests that maybe her father, Leland, hid the pages in the stall before he died. Hawk also mentions that Leland also killed Jacques Renault, an important reminded since, later in this episode, we’re going to meet yet another Renault brother.

Frank goes to his office and places a call to Harry, who is apparently in a hospital somewhere. From the tone of the conversation, it becomes apparent that Harry is terminally ill. (As always, the shadow of death hangs over Twin Peaks.) Frank doesn’t ask Harry about Cooper. “Beat this thing,” Frank tells his brother.

After talking to Harry, Frank skypes with old Doc Hayward (Warren Frost, who passed away shortly after filming his scenes and to whom this episode was dedicated). Frank asks Doc Hayward about the night that Cooper returned from the Black Lodge. Doc Hayward says that he can’t remember what he ate for breakfast but he’ll never forget that night. Hayward retells the story of the second season finale. Other than revealing that Audrey was in a coma after the bombing at the bank, it’s nothing that we don’t already know but it’s still good to see both Doc Hayward and Warren Frost again.

Out in a field, Andy (Harry Goaz) has found the truck that Richard was driving when he ran over the little boy during the last episode. Andy talks to the truck’s owner, who is not Richard and who is also obviously very afraid to talk about his truck. Andy agrees to meet with the man in two hours in a safer, more secluded location.

In South Dakota, Lt. Knox (Adele Rene) meets with Detective Macklay (Brent Briscoe). Knox asks about the finger prints that Macklay submitted. He takes Knox to see the headless corpse that was found in Ruth Davenport’s bed. Knox is shocked to hear that the dead man — who possesses Garland Briggs’s fingerprints — was in his late forties and, when discovered, had only been dead for five to six days. Briggs supposedly died 24 years ago in a fire and, even if he had survived, he would have been much older than just his late 40s. Stepping out into a hallway, Knox calls Col. Davis (Ernie Hudson) and lets him know that 1) they have a body, 2) the head is missing, and 3) the body is the wrong age. Davis says that he’ll have to make “the other call.”

While Knox speaks to Davis, a shadowy figure walks down the hallway behind her. Knox barely glances at it as she steps back into the morgue and tells Macklay that she doesn’t think this is going to be his investigation for too much longer. The shadowy figure walks past the room as they speak.

At the FBI HQ, Gordon Cole (David Lynch) whistles in his office until Albert (Miguel Ferrer) enters and tells him that Diane’s response to the prospect of seeing Cooper was “No fucking way.”

Gordon and Albert go to Diane’s apartment, where Gordon talks Diane (Laura Dern) into going with them to see Cooper in prison. For years, fans of the show have wondered what Diane was really like and Laura Dern does not disappoint. Dern plays the role like a tough film noir femme fatale. One of Diane’s defining traits is that she tells everyone that she sees to fuck off. Nobody handles profanity with quite the skill of Laura Dern.

On the plane to South Dakota, Albert’s sarcastic, Diane drinks, and Gordon flirts with Tammy (Chrysta Bell). Bleh. No offense to Tammy (who I sympathize with because we both get car sick) but everyone knows that Gordon’s soulmate was Shelley Johnson. We also learn that, over the past 25 years, the only know photograph of Cooper (actually Cooper’s Doppelganger) was of Cooper outside of a house in Rio. In the picture, Cooper looks like a drug lord from a cheap 80s crime show.

At the prison, Diane reacts to kind words from Tammy by saying, “Fuck you, Tammy!” and then she has her meeting with Evil Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan). Evil Cooper is still speaking slowly and without emotion. Diane sees through him almost immediately. She traps him by asking him if he remembers the last night they saw each other.

“I’ll always remember that night,” Evil Cooper drones.

“Who are you!?” Diane hisses.

“I don’t know what you mean, Diane,” the dead-voiced Evil Cooper responds.

Diane storms out of the meeting room. Outside of the prison, in a beautifully acted scene, an emotional Diane tells Gordon that Evil Cooper is not the “Dale Cooper that I knew.” Diane says that Evil Cooper, whoever he is, is missing something inside.

Evil Cooper is returned to his cell. He tells the guard that he wants to see Warden Murphy. “We need to speak about a strawberry,” Evil Cooper says.

In Twin Peaks, Andy stands on the side of the road and waits for the owner of the truck. The owner never shows up.

Back at the prison, Evil Cooper is escorted into the office of Warden Murphy (James Morrison). Murphy sends the guards out of the office, tells Evil Cooper that the security cameras have been turned off so that they can speak freely, and then pulls out a gun.

“The dog’s leg,” Evil Cooper says, “That dog had four legs. One you found in my trunk. The other three went out with the information that you’re thinking about right now.”

When Murphy asks why he should believe that Evil Cooper knows what he’s talking about, Evil Cooper replies, “Joe McCluskey.” Warden Murphy gets a panicked look on his face and Evil Cooper explains that he wants a car for himself and Ray Monroe. He wants a gun in the glove compartment. And he wants to leave the jail at one in the morning.

In Las Vegas, Janey-E (Naomi Watts) waits impatiently for Dougie/Cooper to get off work. However, Dougie/Cooper is busy sitting in his office, drawing stuff and ignoring his former friend, Anthony Sinclair (Tom Sizemore). Both Janey-E and the police — led by Detective Fusco (David Koechner) — enter the office at nearly the same time.

Fusco wants to know about Dougie’s car. As usual, Dougie/Cooper has little to say, though he is fascinated by the officer’s badges. (“Badge,” he says as he reaches forward.) When Janey-E asks if Dougie’s car was stolen, Dougie replies, “Stolen.” The police all get their notebooks out and start taking notes. Janey-E demands to know what’s happening and Fusco reveals that Dougie’s car was blown up. Fortunately, Janey-E is there to do the talking.

(And let me just say that I totally and absolutely loved this scene, everything from the performances to the fact that, after all this time, absolutely no one seems to realize that Dougie/Cooper is acting strangely. Another thing that I liked is that all three of the detectives were named Fusco — according to the credits they were E. Fusco, D. Fusco, and “Smiley” Fusco.)

As Janey-E and Dougie leave the office building, they are attacked by Ike the Spike (Christophe Zajac-Denek). Fortunately, Ike bent his spike during the previous episode and is forced to come at Dougie with a gun. However, Dougie/Cooper suddenly comes to life (perhaps Cooper’s FBI training somehow managed to kick in) and, along with Janey-E, they kick Ike’s homicidal ass. While Dougie/Cooper is grabbing Ike’s gun, the mutated “arm” suddenly appears and orders, “Squeeze his hand off! Squeeze his hand off!” Dougie/Cooper gets the gun out of Ike’s hands and Ike runs off to parts unknown.

The police and the media arrive. As Dougie/Cooper blankly stares forward (a bit like Chance the Gardner in Being There, to be honest), a very animated Janey-E tells the story of how Dougie took down the assassin. Other onlookers — some of whom look traumatized by the whole thing — also tell what they saw. One woman proudly announces that Dougie Jones is not a victim. “He moves like a Cobra!”

At the Great Northern, Ben and Beverly (Ashley Judd) are in his office. Beverly has been hearing a strange hum in the office. Pervy old Ben walks around the office with her, searching for the source of the buzz. As they do so, Beverly shows him that an old room key came in the mail. Ben looks at it and, after mentioning that the Great Northern switched for keys to cards over twenty years ago, he notices that it’s from 315. Ben says that he thinks that was the room where Agent Cooper was shot.

“Who is Agent Cooper?” Beverly asks.

“He was here 25 years ago,” Ben explains, “investigating the murder of Laura Palmer.”

“Who’s Laura Palmer?” Beverly asks.

“That, my dear, is a long story,” Ben says.

The buzzing continues as Lynch’s camera glides across the office, finally focusing on one of the wooden walls.

Beverly returns home, where her sickly husband, Tom (Hugh Dillon) is waiting and angry. He wants to know why Beverly was late. Beverly says some things came up at work. When Tom says that he doesn’t want his dinner, Beverly snaps. “I know you’re sick and in pain,” she tells him, “but do not use that to fuck with me!” Tom stares at her as she asks if he realizes how lucky she is to have gotten her job. “Do not fuck this up for me, Tom!” she yells.

At the roadhouse, we spend two minutes watching an anonymous janitor sweep the place up while Jean-Michel Renault (Walter Olkewicz) cleans up behind the bar. Jean-Michel gets a call and, judging from the conversation, Jean-Michel is just as bad as his brothers. He talks about sending someone two blondes. As I rewatched the episode for this review, I heard something that I somehow missed the first time I watched it. Jean-Michel says that the Renault family has owned the roadhouse for over fifty years. That explains why there’s always a Renault working there, despite the fact that the family has, in some way, been involved with every bad thing that has ever happened in Twin Peaks.

At the prison in South Dakota, Evil Cooper and Ray Monroe (George Griffith) are allowed to leave their cells and the prison. Outside, a car and a gun are waiting for them. Murphy watches as they drive off.

From this sordid and menacing scene, we return to Twin Peaks. This episode ends at the diner, where Shelley (Madchen Amick) is pouring coffee and Norma (Peggy Lipton) is looking over the bills. A man ducks into the diner. “Hey,” he yells, “has anyone seen Bing!?” After being told no, the man leaves.

And life goes on as the end credits role…

Twin Peaks on TSL:

TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Part 5 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on June 5, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, there’s one thing that you can definitely say for sure about not only Twin Peaks but also about every other film that David Lynch has ever made. (And make no mistake — they may be calling this the third season of Twin Peaks but it’s obviously meant to be more of an 18-hour film than a traditional television series.) Lynch moves at his own pace. He knows where he’s going but, often, he doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to get there.

And, quite frankly, that can sometimes to be frustrating. David Lynch requires patience on the part of the viewer and a willingness to have faith in his ability as an artist. To a certain extent, the modern world almost seems to be set up to make things as difficult as possible for an artist like David Lynch. We’re used to things being fast-paced. We’re used to having immediate (if superficial) answers to any and all questions. In a time when movies are dominated by hyperactive editing and overwhelming soundtracks, David Lynch has the courage to portray moments of silence and stillness. It’s what sets him apart from other filmmakers. It’s also the reason why this critically acclaimed director has always struggled to get his films made. In 41 years, David Lynch has had ten films theatrically released. Michael Bay directed his first film twenty years after the release of Eraserhead and he has gone to direct twelve more.

Part 5 of Twin Peaks is a perfect example of Lynch’s deliberate pace. As I watched it, I found myself occasionally saying, “When is Cooper going to get normal again!?” I mean, Kyle MacLachlan is doing great work as Dougie/Cooper but how many more times am I going to have to watch him get confused over the need to urinate? That’s a joke that’s getting old.

Yes, I was frustrated.

But here’s the thing:

As frustrated as I may be by the whole Dougie/Cooper situation, I’m not going anywhere. I trust David Lynch and, throughout Part 5, there were scenes that reminded me of why I trust David Lynch. The man is a genius. I’m thinking of the three women in pink nonchalantly watching as the casino pit boss got beaten. I’m thinking of the close-up on Amanda Seyfried’s face after she snorted the cocaine. I’m thinking of Russ Tamblyn ranting.

I will follow David Lynch anywhere.

As for Part 5, it opened with Lynch’s camera prowling through the streets of Las Vegas, a city that seems especially Lynchian.

Out at the Rancho Rosa Development, the two hitmen who were sent to kill Dougie are still sitting outside of the deserted house that Dougie used for his lost weekend with Jade. They’re watching Dougie’s car. One of them calls a woman and tells her that they still haven’t seen Dougie. She does not take the news well. She sends a message to Argentina, where it is apparently received by a black box sitting in a basin.

In South Dakota, the coroner has found something in the stomach of the body that was found underneath the head of Ruth Davenport. It’s a gold ring, one that has an inscription: “To Destiny, With Love, James C.” (I’ve listened to the line about the inscription about a dozen times and I’m pretty sure that’s what the coroner said. If I’m wrong, please let me know.)

(CORRECTION: According to Dylan Lange, host of Dylan Knows, the inscription read: To Dougie With Love, Janey-E. Thank you, Dylan! — LMB)

In his prison cell, Doppelganger Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) stares at himself in his cell’s tiny mirror. He flashes back to the time he and Killer BOB shared a laugh in the Black Lodge. He sees himself smashing his face into the mirror at the Great Northern.

In Twin Peaks, we are reintroduced to Mike Nelson (Gary Hershberger), who was Bobby’s best friend and fellow drug dealer during the first two seasons of Twin Peaks. (He eventually became Nadine’s boyfriend during the time that she had amnesia and thought she was 16.) Mike is a grown-up, suit-wearing professional now, sitting in an office that is decorated with the mounted heads of dead deer. Mike is conducting a job interview with Steve Burnett (Caleb Landry Jones), who appears to be a real loser. Mike informs Steve that his resume is the worst resume that he’s ever seen and then kicks him out of the office.

At the Sheriff’s Department, Doris Truman (Candy Clark) comes by to yell at Frank (Robert Forster) about something. Honestly, I kinda tuned out this scene and I hope that Doris doesn’t become a major character. If anything, Frank is even more laconic than his brother.

Back in Las Vegas, Janey-E (Naomi Watts) finally gets Dougie/Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) out of the house. She has to tie his necktie for him. As she tells him everything that he needs to do, Dougie/Cooper stares at her with a blank look. It’s interesting that, as frustrated as Janey-E gets with Dougie/Cooper, she still tries to rationalize his strange behavior.

At the Rancho Rosa development, Dougie’s car continues to sit there. The two hitmen drive by again. They are followed by five more guys, who are all in a black car and playing their music super loud.

Janey-E drops Dougie/Cooper off at his place of employment. Apparently, Dougie worked for Lucky Seven Insurance. However, Dougie/Cooper is less interested in his job and more fascinated by a statue of a cowboy pointing a gun. In an oddly beautiful scene, he imitates the statue’s pose. Finally, one of his co-workers wanders by and tells Dougie to “get the lead out” because they have a meeting. That co-worker is carrying 8 cups of coffee so, of course, Dougie/Cooper follows after him.

At the meeting, which is full of vapid insurance people, Dougie/Cooper reveals that he can now tell when people are lying. Apparently, whenever someone lies, a green light flashes across their face. When Dougie/Cooper offends another agent (played by Tom Sizemore, no less) by calling him a liar, their boss, the wonderfully named Bushnell Mills (Don Murray), defuses the situation by giveing Dougie/Cooper several case files to take home with him.

Out in the hallway, Dougie/Cooper needs to pee but, like a panicking Sim, has no idea what to do. Luckily, one of his co-workers, assuming that the men’s room must be locked, sneaks Dougie/Cooper into the ladies room.

At the Silver Mustang Casino, Rodney Mitchum (Robert Knepper) and Bradley Mitchum (Jim Belushi) demand to know how Cooper/Dougie could possibly have won 30 jackpots. Rodney’s way of handling it is to beat up the pit boss (David Dastmalchian) while three women in pink stand in the corner of the room and nonchalantly watch.

Back at Rancho Rosa, Drugged-Out Mother (Hailey Gates) is passed out so her son leaves the house and walks across the street, intent on investigating Dougie’s bomb-laden car. Fortunately, before the kid can set the bomb off, the black car pulls up. The five men jump out of the car and tell the kid to “get the fuck outta here!” They’re planning on stealing Dougie’s car for themselves. Of course, as soon as the engine starts, the car explodes and takes three of the car thieves with it. The kid runs back to his house, where the junkie mom is just now starting to come out of her stupor.

At a nearby carwash, Jade (Nafessa Williams) is getting her car washed when she comes across the key to Cooper’s room at the Great Northern. She drops the key in a nearby mailbox.

At the Double R Diner — it’s Norma (Peggy Lipton) and Shelley (Madchen Amick)! 25 years have passed and they’re still exactly where we left them. Except that Shelley now has a daughter named Becky (Amanda Seyfried) and Becky’s married to Steve. Becky comes by the diner to borrow money from Shelley. Then she goes outside and snorts cocaine with Steve. Lynch’s camera gives us a close-up of Becky’s face as the drugs temporarily takes away all of her problems. In this scene, not only does Becky look like Shelley’s daughter (Madchen Amick and Amanda Seyfried really do look like they could be related) but there’s also a disconcerting resemblance to Laura Palmer as well.

(Also, remember how Shelley used to say that she married Leo because of his car? Well, Steve has a corvette of his own.)

Back in Vegas, Dougie/Cooper is still acting weird. He doesn’t understand that, when riding an elevator, you’re supposed to get off when the doors open. Some people get upset with him about that but Dougie/Cooper is more interested in going outside and staring at that statue. Of course, Dougie/Cooper is still holding onto those case files.

At the Sheriff’s Department, Andy (Harry Goaz) and Hawk (Michael Horse) go through the Laura Palmer case files, searching for what’s missing.

In his trailer, Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) goes live online, delivering a rant about globalist corporate conspiracies and selling his gold-painted shovels so that his listeners can “dig yourself out of the shit.” Nadine (Wendy Robie) and Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) listen appreciatively.

At the Pentagon, Col. Davis (Ernie Hudson) is informed that they’ve gotten another “database hit” on Garland Briggs’s fingerprints. Apparently, in the years since his mysterious death, Briggs’s finger prints have shown up in 16 different locations.

At the Roadhouse, the kickass band Trouble is playing. Meanwhile, a handsome but dangerous looking man (Eamon Farren) sits under a sign that says no smoking and smokes a cigarette. When a Roadhouse employee tells him to put out his cigarette, the man hands over a pack of cigarettes. Inside the pack are several hundred dollar bills. So, apparently, the Roadhouse is still the center of the Twin Peaks drug trade.

When Charlotte (Grace Victoria Cox) tries to flirt with him, the man suddenly turns violent, grabbing her and taunting her with, “Do you want to fuck me, Charlotte? Do you want to fuck? I’m going to laugh when I fuck you, bitch!” It’s a deeply unpleasant scene, as Lynch obviously meant for it to be.

The man’s name is not mentioned but, according to the end credits, he’s Richard Horne. Presumably, he’s a member of the infamous Horne Family. Is he a cousin? Or maybe Jerry’s kid? Or, even more intriguingly, Audrey’s son? Whatever he is, Richard is bad news.

(And let’s not forget that, way back at the start of Part One, the Giant told Cooper to remember “Richard and Linda.”)

At FBI Headquarters, Tamara (Chrysta Bell) compares the finger prints of both Cooper and his Doppelganger.

At the South Dakota prison, Doppelganger Cooper finally gets his phone call. The warden (James Morrison) thinks that they’ll be able to listen in on the call but Doppelganger Cooper has other plans. After taunting everyone listening, Cooper pushes several keys on the phone, which somehow causes every alarm in the prison to go off. While the warden tries to restore order, Doppelganger Cooper says, into the phone, “The cow’s jumped over the moon.” As soon as Doppelganger Cooper hangs up, the alarms fall silent.

In Argentina, the black box changes into a small ring.

In Vegas, Dougie/Cooper continues to stare at the statue.

And so, the latest episode ends. The story may be moving at its own pace but I can’t wait to see where else it leads.

Twin Peaks on TSL:

TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Parts Three and Four (dir by David Lynch) (SPOILERS)

Posted on May 29, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

David Lynch as Gordon Cole

It seems appropriate that there should be a picture of David Lynch at the top of this recap. There’s a lot of good things to be said about the third and fourth “parts” of Twin Peaks but ultimately, these two hours are all about Lynch and his unique vision.

This is especially true of the first 20 minutes of Part 3. This is Lynch at his best. Unconcerned with the traditional rules of narrative, Lynch creates an extended nightmare, one that sticks in your head long after the show itself has moved on.

Much as how Eraserhead started in space, with a hideously scarred man pushing and pulling the levers that eventually created that film’s mutant baby, Part 3 opens with Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) falling through darkness, plunging into a purple cloud. When Cooper lands, it’s in a purple-tinted world that immediately made me think of the final scene in Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond.

Cooper is standing outside a house, looking out over what appears to be a purple ocean. When Cooper enters the house, he finds a woman. She is wearing a red dress and her eyes are sewn shut. The first time I saw this, I assumed that the woman was meant to be Ruth Davenport, mostly because Ruth was found without eyes. However, Ruth is not listed in the end credits. For that matter, neither is the eyeless woman.

Cooper asks where they are but the woman cannot speak. Perhaps she has lost her tongue, as well as her eyes. Suddenly, someone starts to pound on the door. The woman holds her finger to her lips, telling Cooper to be silent.

Cooper sees what appears to be a safe on the wall but, when he tries to approach it, the blind woman steps in front of him and pushes him back. As the pounding continues, the woman leads Cooper to another door and then up a ladder.

And suddenly, Cooper and the woman are standing in outer space. The house has now become a satellite, hovering in the star-filled sky. As the pounding continues on the soundtrack, the woman tries to speak but Cooper cannot understand what she’s saying. Suddenly, the woman pulls down a lever, apparently electrocuting herself before falling off the satellite and disappearing into space.

Suddenly, Cooper sees the face of Major Garland Briggs (Don S. Davis) floating underneath him. “Blue Rose,” Briggs says.

(In Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, it was suggested that the FBI refers to paranormal cases as being “Blue Rose cases.”)

Cooper reenters the satellite. He finds himself back in the house. There is now a second woman and those familiar with the show will recognize her as being played by Phoebe Augustine, the same actress who played Ronette Pulaski in the earlier seasons of the show. If Augustine playing Ronette here? It’s hard to say. Her character is listed as being “American Girl.” Cooper does not seem to recognize her but, then again, he also hesitated before recognizing Laura Palmer during Part One. Being in the Black Lodge for 25 years can’t be good for one’s memory.

Cut to Doppelganger Cooper, driving down a South Dakota highway. At the same time that the real Cooper is once again approaching the safe in the Space House, Doppelganger Cooper is having a seizure while driving.

In the Space House, American Girl/Ronette says, “When you get there, you will already be there.”

The pounding starts again.

“You better hurry,” American Girl/Ronette says, “my mother’s coming.”

Suddenly, Cooper is sucked into the safe, with only his shoes being left behind in the Space House.

In South Dakota, Doppelganger Cooper flips his car, crashing into a mountain. Doppelganger Cooper survives but suddenly, he starts to throw up. He puts his hand over his mouth and then sees the red curtains of the Black Lodge appearing before his car.

In an empty house located the Rancho Rosa development in Nevada, a dorky guy named Dougie Jones (Kyle MacLachlan) has just paid a prostitute named Jade (Nafessa Williams). While Jade takes a shower, Dougie puts on a mustard yellow suit jacket and, judging by how ugly it is, I’m guessing that Dougie must be in real estate. (Perhaps he works for Rancho Rosa, selling people suburban houses in the middle of the desert.) Suddenly, Dougie grabs his stomach and collapses to the floor.

What follows is one of the grossest scenes ever as we cut back and forth between Dougie and the Doppelganger vomiting. Seriously, this was one of the most grotesquely realistic vomiting scenes that I have ever seen. I averted my eyes and covered my ears! It was so gross.

At the same time that Dougie vanishes from the house, the red curtains in front of the Doppelganger’s car also vanishes. But the Doppelganger is too busy throwing up to notice. Again, I have to admit that I averted my eyes during most of this. (I also realize that both Dougie and the Doppelganger were throwing up their essences, the stuff that allowed them to pretend to be human. I don’t care. The only thing I hate more than vomiting is watching other people vomit.)

Dougie is in the Black Lodge. MIKE (Al Strobel) doesn’t appear to be too happy to see him. MIKE explains that someone manufactured Dougie. I’m assuming that the Doppelganger created Dougie so that, if Cooper ever escaped from the Black Lodge, he would take over Dougie’s existence instead of the Doppelganger’s. “That’s weird,” Dougie says, as he his hand wastes away. Then Dougie’s head vanishes, replaced by a black cloud of smoke.

Back at the house, another black cloud comes out of an electrical outlet. Soon, the cloud forms into Cooper. Cooper lies on the floor, next to Dougie’s vomit (ewwww!) until Jade yells at him that they have to get out of the house.

Apparently in a state of shock, Cooper silently follows Jade out of the house. After being locked away in the Black Lodge, it appears that Cooper no longer quite remembers how to be human. Or maybe he’s not really human at all anymore. All I know is that he’s acting strange and, as brilliant as Kyle MacLachlan is, I do kind of hope the old Cooper returns at some point soon.

Because Dougie/Cooper doesn’t have his car keys (though he does still have his room key from the Great Northern), Jade gives him a ride into Vegas. Two gangster types watch as Jade drives off. One of them has a rifle. The other has a bomb. Apparently, they work for someone to whom Dougie’s owes money. Because Cooper leans down to pick up his room key, the one with the rifle does not spot him in Jade’s car. The other places the bomb under Dougie’s car, which is still sitting outside of the empty house.

While this happens, a woman — listed in the credits as being “Drugged-Up Mother” and played by Hailey Gates — is shouting “One one nine! One one nine!” while her son watches on the couch.

In South Dakota, two troopers approach the Doppelganger’s car. One of them catches whiff of the vomit and collapses to the ground, physically ill.

At the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department, Hawk (Michael Horse), Andy (Harry Goaz), and Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) look through all the evidence that was collected in the Palmer case. Andy says that he and Lucy can’t find out what’s missing. “If it’s here,” Hawk replies, “how can it be missing?”

As Hawk recites what the Log Lady told him — that something is missing and that the way he’ll find it has to do with his heritage — Lucy freaks out when she spots an empty box of chocolate bunnies. Many years ago, Lucy ate the bunny.

“Do chocolate bunnies have something to do with your heritage?” Andy earnest asks.

“IT’S NOT ABOUT BUNNIES!” Hawk snaps. Then, “Is it about the bunny? …. No, it’s not about the bunny.”

Meanwhile, off in the middle of nowhere, Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) spray paints the ladders that were delivered to him at the start of Part One.

In Vegas, Jade drops Dougie/Cooper off at a casino. Dougie/Cooper has been reduced to just repeating back phrases that other people say to him but no one seems to notice. Still, when Jade tells Dougie/Cooper that he can “go now,” Dougie/Cooper has a flashback to Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee) saying the same thing.

The casino, with its combination of glitz and the grotesque, brings out the best in Lynch. As Dougie/Cooper wanders through the casino — which is populated by typical Lynchian characters — he notices that he can see the red curtains of the Black Lodge floating over certain slot machines. Cooper pulls the levers, hitting jackpot after jackpot. As the coins flood out of the machines, Cooper announces, “HELLO!” Why? Because he heard another gambler do it. Dougie/Cooper is learning how to be human again.

When Dougie/Cooper walks away after having won another jackpot, leaving all of his coins on the floor, one old woman considers taking the coins for herself but then glances up at the camera on the ceiling — “and the eye in the sky watches us all,” to quote Casino — and thinks better of it. Instead, she just asks Cooper to tell her which machines are about to hit. She calls him Mr. Jackpot, which is kinda sweet.

Meanwhile, in Philadelphia, the FBI is meeting and — oh my God! It’s Gordon Cole (David Lynch), Albert Rosenfield (Miguel Ferrer), and Tamara Preston (Chrysta Bell). (Preston will be familiar to anyone who has read Mark Frost’s The Secret History of Twin Peaks.)

They start out discussing a senator who has been accused of murdering his wife. The senator says that he knows who did it but he can’t reveal the name because of “national security reasons.” (Since this is taking place in 2014, I’m going to continue the Casino theme and assume that the senator was creepy old Harry Reid.)

Cole is more interested in hearing about the murders of Sam and Tracey in New York City. It turns out that the cameras caught a picture of that demonic creature in the glass box.

Suddenly, a call comes in. Cooper has been found and he’s in a South Dakota prison and … oh shit! That’s not Cooper! We know that’s the Doppelganger! Regardless, Cole announces that he, Albert, and Tamara are going to South Dakota. Albert says he can’t wait to see Mount Rushmore.

“The absurd mystery of the strange forces of existence,” Albert tells Tamara. “How about a truck load of valium?”

Cut to The Cactus Blossoms, performing at the Roadhouse and announcing that Part Three is over.

Part Four opens with Dougie/Cooper still hitting jackpots and still chanting, “Hello!” When the old woman who has been following him around hits a jackpot of her own, a small smile comes to Cooper/Dougie’s lips.

A friend of Dougie’s, Bill Shaker (Ethan Suplee), approaches and he and Dougie have a thoroughly superficial conversation. Dougie/Cooper asks where his home is. Bill assures him that he lives at Lancelot Court, in a house with a red door. The house, Bill says, is near Merlin’s Market. As Cooper/Dougie leaves to get a cab, Bill says, “I hope he’s okay.”

“I don’t think he’s okay,” Bill’s wife, the wonderfully named Candy Shaker (Sara Paxton) says.

Before Dougie/Cooper can leave to find the house with the red door, he is dragged to the office of the vaguely threatening casino manager (David Dastmalchian). The manager gives Dougie/Cooper his winnings and then asks if he wants anything — like “companionship” — for the night. “Think of us as your home away from home,” he says. When Dougie/Cooper repeats that he wants to go home (his real home), the manager arranges for him to ride in a limo.

(It pays to be a winner.)

As the limo drives down Lancelot Court, the driver (Jay Larson) says that it might be hard to spot a red door at night. However, he then sees the door and oh my God, is it ever red! Dougie gets out of the limo and seems unsure what to do. Fortunately, his wife — Janey-E (Naomi Watts) — comes out of the house and starts hitting him. Apparently, Dougie has been missing for three days. He even misses his son’s birthday party! (Perhaps significantly, as everyone stands outside the house, an owl flies overhead.)

Fortunately, once they’re inside the house, Janey-E sees just how much money Dougie/Cooper won at the casino.

“Don’t tell me you hit the jackpot!” Janey-E says.

“Mr. Jackpot,” Dougie/Cooper says, pointing at himself.

“There’s enough here to pay them back!” Janey-E continues as she looks at the money, “This is the most wonderful day of my life!”

“Of my life,” Dougie/Cooper says.

“Yes,” Janey-E replies.

At FBI Headquarters, Cole has a meeting chief of staff Denise Bryson (David Duchovny). Cole tells Denise about finding Cooper and says he’s going to South Dakota. Denise is concerned about Cole traveling with Tamara. “I know your profile, Gordon,” Denise explains, “Female agent. Early 30s.”

“I’m old school,” Cole replies, “you know that.”

Cole reminds Denise that he defended her when she first transitioned. He told everyone who had a problem with her to “Fix their hearts — or die!”

At the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department, Sheriff Frank Truman (Robert Forster) enters the front lobby, which causes Lucy to scream and faint. Apparently, Lucy was confused because she has just been talking to Frank on the phone and she can’t understand how Frank could be in two places at once. Andy attempts to explain to her how cell phones work. “You’re so good at your job,” Andy says, “in every other way…”

At the Sheriff’s Department, we learn a few interesting things:

First off, Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook), former drug dealer and murderer, is now a deputy, one who specializes in watching for drug dealers sneaking across the Canadian border. (That’s something that Bobby should know a bit about.) He also has gray hair and he cries when he sees a picture of Laura in the conference room.

Secondly, Major Garland Briggs died in a fire, a day after being the last person to see Dale Cooper. (Presumably, Major Briggs actually saw Doppelganger Cooper.)

Third, Lucy and Andy’s son has grown up to be Wally Brando (Michael Cera). Wally is a motorcycle enthusiast who has spent the last few years riding across the country. Wally dresses like Marlon Brando in The Wild One and delivers a hilariously nonsensical monologue that is largely made up of pretentious references to different Brando roles. What makes Wally’s scene so wonderful is the combination of Cera’s Brandoesque scenery chewing and Robert Forster’s deadpan reaction.

The next morning, in Vegas, Dougie/Cooper still can’t figure out how to do anything. After spending 25 years in limbo, even urination is a new and scary experience for him. Even when MIKE appears to tell him that he was tricked into leaving the Lodge and that either Dougie/Cooper and the Doppelganger must die, Dougie/Cooper looks confused. Still, his son — the oddly named Sonny Jim (Pierce Gagnon) — is amused when his father eats breakfast with a tie wrapped around his head.

In South Dakota, the police investigating the murder of Ruth Davenport are shocked to discover that they can not access the identity of the owner of the finger prints that they took off of the male Joe Doe. Apparently, it’s top secret. “Military authorization required.”

Meanwhile, Cole, Albert, and Tamara are driving out to the South Dakota prison. During the car ride, Cole complains that they’re not anywhere near Mount Rushmore but, luckily, Albert has brought a picture for him. Meanwhile, Tamara has to ride with her head leaning out of the window because she gets car sick.

(I sometimes get car sick too. That’s one reason why I never sit in the back seat. I share your struggle, Tamara!)

At the prison, Cole, Albert, and Tamara meet with Warden Murphy (James Morrison). When it is mentioned that the Doppelganger was throwing up poison, Murphy says, “Must have eaten locally.” I love that line!

Anyway, the meeting with the Doppelganger doesn’t go well. The Doppelganger, having thrown up whatever it was that allowed him to act human, is now speaking in a stiff and halting tone. The Doppelganger claims that he’s spent the last 25 years working undercover for Philip Jeffries. Haltingly, he says that he needs to be released so that Gordon can “debrief” him. Stiffly, the Doppelganger attempts to give Gordon the thumbs up sign.

After the meeting, Cole and Albert agree that something was off about “Cooper.” They agree that there’s one woman who can tell them if it’s really Cooper in prison. Cole asks if Albert still knows where she lives.

“I know where she drinks,” Albert replies.

Who could Albert be talking about? Audrey Horne? Or maybe Sarah Palmer? Sarah, after all, is psychic and appears to still have a drinking problem.

We’ll find out next week! Until then, Parts 3 and 4 — along with Parts 1 and 2 — will continue to haunt my thoughts and dreams.

Twin Peaks on TSL:

TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Parts One and Two (dir by David Lynch) (SPOILERS)

Posted on May 22, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I sit here working on my recap of the first two episodes of Showtime’s revival of Twin Peaks, it’s occurring to me that this is not going to be an easy job. Last month, when Leonard, Jeff, and I were reviewing the show’s first two seasons, we had the advantage of knowing where the story was leading. We knew what would be important and what was a red herring.

With this revival, we no longer have that luxury. I have no idea where this show is going. All I know, for sure, is that David Lynch has given us 18 hours of new material. It’s not necessarily going to be easy to review the revival. I can already tell that. From what I’ve heard and read, it appears that Lynch approached this less as a TV series and more as an 18-hour movie. I’ve already noticed that several reviewers are already overplaying the “Twin Peaks is weird” angle. David Lynch may be a surrealist but there is always a definite logic to all of his work. You just have to have the patience to find it and I imagine that’ll be the case with Twin Peaks: The Return as well.

I’ve already shared my initial thoughts on the first two episodes and Ryan The TrashFilm Guru has posted a review of his own. What follows below is a more in-depth recap of what we saw last night. Needless to say, if you haven’t seen the first two episodes of the revival yet, this entire post is one huge spoiler. So, read it at your own risk!

Okay — ready?

Let’s go!

We start where we left, with a clip from 27 years ago. In the Black Lodge, Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee) tells Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) that she will see him in 25 years.

Cut to Twin Peaks, the town that we all know and love. The trees are still shrouded in fog. The high school hallways are empty. Laura Palmer’s homecoming queen picture still sits in the trophy case. The title appears. Angelo Badalamenti’s haunting theme music starts to play. We see the waterfall. We read the opening credits. Twin Peaks is back.

In the Black Lodge, a much older Giant (Carel Struycken) talks to an aged Cooper. The inhabitants of the Lodge still speak backwards and we are still provided with subtitles so that we can follow what they’re saying. Cooper still speaks in his normal voice, indicating that he may be trapped in the Lodge but he has yet to truly become a part of it. The Giant tells Cooper to listen to the sounds and looks over at an old-fashioned phonograph. “It is in our house now,” the Giant says. “Remember Four Three Zero. Richard and Linda. Two birds with one stone.”

“I understand,” Cooper says. (I’m glad someone does.)

Cut to a trailer sitting in the middle of nowhere. A pickup truck drives up. The truck has two cardboard boxes in the bed. Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) comes out of the trailer and gets the boxes. What’s inside the boxes? Shovels, of course! Jacoby certainly does seem to be happy to have them. Maybe he’s still looking for that necklace that Donna and James buried 25 years ago…

Cut to New York City. Sam Colby (Ben Rosenfield) has a new job. He sits on a couch in a room and he watches a black box that is sitting inside of a glass box. His job is to see if anything happens in the box and to make sure that there is always a camera filming the box. There’s a guard posted outside of the room. Sam’s friend, Tracey (Madeline Zima), is allowed to bring him coffee but she’s not allowed to enter the room or see the boxes. The sight of Sam sitting in that room, staring at that box, reminded me of the scenes with Michael Anderson as the man who controlled Hollywood in Mulholland Drive. As creepy as that box may have been, it was the stillness of this scene that made me nervous. Sam seemed remarkably uninterested in why exactly he had to watch the box and that lack of curiosity struck me as odd and just a little depressing.

Cut to … oh my God, we’re back at the Great Northern! And there’s Ben Horne (Richard Beymer)! He’s in his office and he’s leering at his new secretary, Barbara (Ashley Judd). It’s just like old times and, of course, it’s nice to see that Ben survived striking his head on the fireplace mantle 25 years ago. That said, Ben appears to have given up on being a do-gooder. He’s back to obsessing over money. Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) drops by for a visit and reveals that, since Washington legalized marijuana, he’s made a fortune. Way to go, Jerry!

Cut to the Sheriff’s Department and there’s Lucy (Kimmy Robertson)! An insurance salesman comes in and asks to see Sheriff Truman. Lucy asks him if he wants to see the Sheriff Truman who is sick or the Sheriff Truman who is out of the office. Neither one is available.

Cut to a country road. Someone is driving down the street while listening to evil music. The driver is none other than … Agent Cooper? Well, it kind of looks like Agent Cooper but it’s not Cooper. For one thing, this guy has long, greasy hair and doesn’t wear a dark suit. He also doesn’t smile. He has cold, dead eyes. For another thing, he parks next to a shack and beats up a redneck, which is not exactly Agent Cooper behavior. Then he goes inside, where he meets Buelah and Otis. He tells them that he has come to pick up Ray (George Griffith) and Darya (Nicole LaLiberte). I don’t remember Agent Cooper having such an affinity for white trash…

Oh wait! That’s not Agent Cooper! That must be Cooper’s Doppelganger!

Meanwhile, back in New York, Tracey shows up with more coffee. She and Sam are shocked to discover that the guard has left his post. This means that Tracey can now go into the room and see the mysterious box for herself! It also means that she and Sam can have some fun on the couch. While they do, Sam suddenly sees that the inside of the glass box has turned black. Suddenly, what appears to be a demonic creature appears in the box. It springs through the glass and, in a scene that leaves no doubt that this is Showtime Twin Peaks and not ABC Twin Peaks, it literally rips Sam and Tracey into pieces.

Along with giving me a good fright, this scene made me sad because I thought Sam and Tracey were a cute couple. The reviewer at TVLine complained about Sam and Tracey and the actors playing them and I really have to wonder what show he watched because, to me, both Ben Rosenfield and Madeline Zima were likable and sympathetic in their brief time on screen. Then again, the TVLine recapper also managed to confuse Bobby Briggs and James Hurley so we know he’s not a true Twin Peaks fan.

I should also mention that this scene, with hints of the demons flickering in the darkness before the sudden attack, reminded me of the infamous “there’s an evil man behind the dumpster” scene from Mulholland Drive.

Cut to Buckhorn, South Dakota. We’re confronted with a very Lynchian image. A fat woman walks a tiny dog down the hallway of an apartment building. She stops when she smells a terrible stench coming from the neighbor’s apartment. She calls the police, worried that her neighbor Ruth Davenport may be dead.

The police arrive and it takes them forever to find a key to open up the apartment. This is one of those sequences that Lynch loves, the sequence were a simple task is made progressively more and more difficult by awkward minutia. The neighbor doesn’t know if there’s a manager available but then remembers that the manager’s been committed to an asylum. However, the manager’s brother might have the key. But she doesn’t know where the brother is but the brother’s friend, Hank Filmore (Max Perlich), might know. Hank does know but he refuses to tell and then the neighbor suddenly mentions that she has an extra key to the apartment. When the police finally get inside the apartment, they discover the naked remains of Ruth Davenport in bed. Her eyes have been removed and her head has been disconnected from her body.

Continuing the Mulholland Drive comparison, the discovery of Ruth’s body was shot in much the same way as the discovery of Diane Selwyn’s body in Mulholland Drive. As well, Brent Briscoe played a detective in Mulholland Drive and he plays one in Twin Peaks as well, leading the investigation into Ruth’s murder.

Cut back to Twin Peaks. The Log Lady (Catherine Coulson) calls Deputy Hawk (Michael Horse), who is now Deputy Chief Hawk and who is in charge while Sheriff Truman is gone. The Log Lady tells Hawk that her log has a message. “Something is different and you have to find it,” she tells him. “It has to do with Federal Agent Dale Cooper and with your heritage. This is the message of the log.”

(Coulson died shortly after filming her scenes here and her frailty make her scenes here unexpectedly poignant. As she talks to Hawk, it’s obvious that both of them know that this could be their last conversation.)

Back in South Dakota, Detective Dave is informed that one man’s finger prints have been found all over Ruth’s apartment. The finger prints belonged to Bill Hastings (Matthew Lillard), a respected high school principal. As his shocked wife, Phyllis (Cornelia Guest), watches, Bill is arrested and charged with murder. “But the Morgans are coming to dinner!” Phyllis shouts as Dave leads Bill away.

Back at the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department, Hawk, Lucy, and Andy (Harry Goaz) gather in the conference room. Hawk order them to look through all the files on the disappearance as Dale Cooper. Lucy says that Cooper disappeared 24 years ago and then mentions that her son is 24 years old. “He was born on the same day as Marlon Brando,” Lucy says.

Back in South Dakota, Dave is interrogating Bill. When Dave asks Bill if he’s ever heard of Ruth Davenport, Bill says that he only knew her in passing. He denies having ever been to Ruth’s apartment but, when he says it, he nervously glances around the room. Is Bill hiding something or is he just nervous as anyone who has been arrested — whether guilty or innocent — would be? It turns out that Bill can’t account for where he was during every minute of the previous night. Dave jots down some notes on a legal pad. That’s never good. Bill wants a lawyer. Dave says that lawyer is on the way but he also asks if there’s anything else Bill would like to add “before we get a lawyer involved.” At this point, I was yelling at the screen, “Stop talking! The police are not your friends!” Dave immediately proved my point by accusing Bill of murder and then taking him to a jail cell.

Dave and the cops then go back to the Hastings house, the time with a search warrant. While the police search his car, Bill sits in his jail cell and probably wonders why he hasn’t been allowed to see his lawyer yet.

Suddenly, Dave arrives with Phyllis. Phyllis steps into the cell and tells Bill that they’re not going to give him bail. Bill says that he was never in Ruth’s apartment but that he had a dream the night that she was killed. “Fuck you!” Phyllis sanps, “you fucking bastard!” She reveals that she knows that Bill was cheating on her with Ruth. Bill shouts back that he knows about Phyllis and someone named George. Phyllis taunts him. “You’re going down. Life in prison.”

After Phyllis leaves, Bill sits in his cell. Little does he know that, three cells down, a shadowy man is sitting on a bed. The shadow slowly fades away, becoming a wisp of smoke that eventually dissipates in the air.

Phyllis arrives home. Doppelganger Cooper is waiting for her. Phyllis smiles and asks what he’s doing there. Doppelganger Cooper replies that Phyllis did a good job duplicating human nature and then shoots her in the head.

Cut to Las Vegas, Nevada. A man in an office (Patrick Fischler, who also played the man who had a morbid — and justifiable fear — of the dumpster behind the diner in Mulholland Drive) talks to his associate Roger about a mysterious figure who “uses” him. “You better hope you never have someone like him in your life,” the man says.

Cut to a diner in South Dakota, where Doppelganger Cooper has an awkward dinner with Ray and Darya. Doppelganger Cooper tells Ray that he doesn’t “need anything.” However, he does want things. Ray kind of smirks. Doppelganger Cooper explains that what he wants is information.

Cut to Ghostwood Forest. Equipped with a flashlight, Hawk walks. He gets a call from the Log Lady. “The stars turn,” she tells hm, “and a time presents itself.” The Log Lady says she wishes she could go with Hawk but then tells him to stop by. She has coffee and pie for him. Hawks says he will, as he approaches Glastonbury Grove, which once served as the entrance into the Black Lodge.

Speaking of the Black Lodge, Cooper is still sitting in the waiting room. He has been joined by MIKE (Al Strobel), the one-armed man. “Is it the future or is it the past?” MIKE asks before saying that someone has come to see Cooper.

Enter Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee), still wearing the black dress from the last time that we saw her but definitely no longer a teenager. (Of course, this is because 25 years has passed not only on the show but in real life as well. Still, in the world of Twin Peaks, it’s interesting that time passes in The Black Lodge and people continue to age, even after they die.) Cooper and Laura recite some of the same dialogue from the dream that Cooper had during the third episode of the first season of Twin Peaks.

When Laura says, “I am Laura Palmer,” Cooper replies that Laura is dead.

“I am dead,” Laura says, “yet I live.”

Laura opens her face like a door, revealing a bright white light.

“When can I go?” Cooper asks as Laura closes her face.

Laura kisses Cooper and then, just as she did in the original dream, she starts to whisper in his ear while the aged Cooper smiles.

Suddenly, the curtains shake and Laura screams. Something appears to yank her into the air and she vanishes. A wind blow through the lodge and suddenly, the curtain disappear. The same white horse that, 25 years earlier, appeared to Sarah Palmer now appears to Cooper.

Suddenly, Cooper is back in the waiting room and MIKE is again asking if it is the past or the future.

MIKE leads Cooper into another room, one that is inhabited by a tree that has what appears to be a perfectly smooth brain sitting atop of it. MIKE says that the tree is his arm. The tree starts to speak to Cooper. It asks if Cooper remembers his doppelgänger. Cooper does and we get a flashback to this still powerful scene:

The tree explains that before Cooper can go out, the Doppelganger must return to the Black Lodge.

Meanwhile, in South Dakota, the Doppelganger is busy killing people. First he kills a business associate and then he returns to his motel and confronts Darya with the knowledge that someone hired her and Ray to kill him. Darya says that she doesn’t know who hired them and puts all of the blame on Ray. The Doppelganger reveals that he’s supposed to go back to the Black Lodge but he’s not planning on returning. Then, in a disturbing and deeply unpleasant scene that I personally felt went on a bit too long, the Doppelganger beats and then murders Darya.

Having killed Darya, the Doppelganger places a phone call to Philip Jeffries, the FBI agent who was played by David Bowie in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. They have a cryptic conversation. Philip says that the Doppelganger should be in New York and then says that the Doppelganger met with Major Garland Briggs. “How did you know that!?” the Doppelganger demands. “I just called to say goodbye,” Philip says.

The Doppelganger downloads the plans for Yankton Federal Prison and then walks down to another motel room. There he is greeted by Chantel (Jennifer Jason Leigh!). He tells Chantel that he needs her to go “clean up” the other room. Chantel is more than happy to do it.

At the Black Lodge, Cooper continues to stare at the tree. The tree says that Cooper can go but when Cooper goes out to the hallway, he finds that he still cannot pass through the curtains and back into our world. Cooper continues to walk through the Lodge until he discovers Leland Palmer (Ray Wise) sitting in a leather chair.

“Find Laura,” Leland says.

Suddenly, MIKE and the Tree appear again. MIKE says something is wrong. The tree says to find the Doppelganger. Cooper continues to walk around the lodge. (Is this all he’s been doing for the past 25 years?) He finally manages to open the curtains and finds himself watching as his Doppelganger drives down a desert road. Suddenly, the tree appears and starts lashing out at him with its limbs.

“Non-existent!” the tree snaps.

Cooper falls through the floor of the Lodge. Suddenly, he’s in the glass box in New York. And he can see Tracey and Sam having the same conversation that they had before they were killed by the weird demon creature. (Is time looping back on itself, in much the same way that it did at the end of Lost Highway with Bill Pullman telling his future self that “Dick Laurent is dead?”)

Suddenly, Cooper is falling again.

In Twin Peaks, Sarah Palmer (Grace Zabriskie) sits alone in the Palmer House, drinking, smoking, and watching one of those traumatic nature documentaries where predators eat their prey in closeup.

At the Roadhouse, the Chromatics are singing a beautifully dream-like song. Shelley (Madchen Amick) is sitting at a booth with a group of friends. She says she’s worried about her daughter, Becky. Suddenly, they see that James Hurley (James Marshall) has entered the bar and is now looking over at them.

“What’s wrong with that guy?” one of them says.

“There’s nothing wrong with that guy!” Shelley says, “He was in a motorcycle accident but he’s just quiet. He’s always been cool.”

And it’s such a sweet scene, even if it does feel a bit odd since Shelley and James didn’t even seem to know each other during the original series. I found myself wondering if Shelley is now married to Bobby Briggs. If James ends up stealing Shelley away (and that certainly seems a possibility, especially with Lara Flynn Boyle not coming back to reprise the role of Donna Hayward), this will be the second time Bobby has lost a lover to James.

(By the way, both James Marshall and Madchen Amick have aged wonderfully. If anything, James Marshall is far more handsome now than he was during the first two seasons of the show.)

There was also some excitement online when Walter Olkewicz appeared as the bartender at the roadhouse. Could it be, we all wondered, that Jacques Renault was once again alive!? Well, no. According to the credits, Olkewicz was playing Jean-Michel Renault. Apparently, he’s the fourth Renault brother.

And that’s how this perplexing episode ends. The Chromatics perform on the Roadhouse while two of our favorite characters acknowledge each other. At times, I loved this episode. At times, I was frustrated. However, I was always intrigued and this ending — this wonderfully sentimental little moment between Shelley and James — was the perfect way to cap it all off.

Do I understand everything that happened tonight? No, but it doesn’t matter. I can’t wait to see where Lynch is taking us next.

12 Initial Thoughts on Twin Peaks: The Return Parts One and Two

Posted on May 21, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I just finished watching Parts 1 and 2 of Twin Peaks: The Return on Showtime. I’m not ready to write an in-depth review yet. I’m going to have to rewatch the show, twice or maybe even three times. But I did want to share a few of my initial thoughts about what I just saw:

1. In many ways, this was David Lynch at both his best and his most frustrating. That the story held my interest even while making little to no sense is a testament to his abilities as a director. For all the credit that he’s been given as a visual artist, Lynch is often underrated as a storyteller. Lynch is often accused of being self-indulgent and, in many ways, he is. At the same time, he still knows where his story is going and how to keep the audience invested in the journey.

At the same time, I imagine that there are a lot of frustrated people right now. For all the talk about how Twin Peaks was finally returning, very little of tonight’s episode actually took place in Twin Peaks. Instead, we had a horror movie going on in New York. We had a murder mystery going on in South Dakota. And we had a lot of Dale Cooper in the Black Lodge. If you came into this episode hoping to get caught up with Bobby Briggs, Audrey Horne, or Doc Hayward, you were out of luck. However, since this episode ended at the Roadhouse, with Shelley Johnson giving James Hurley a friendly wave, I assume that we’ll be spending more time in Twin Peaks next week.

2. Apparently, Doppelganger Cooper has been extremely busy. I have to admit that I would probably be more intimidated by evil Cooper if not for the hair.

3. For those keeping track of what we did learn about what’s been going on in Twin Peaks over the past 25 years: Ben and Jerry Horne are still operating at the Great Northern and Ben appears to have given up on the whole being a force of good thing. Deputy Andy and Lucy are still together. Deputy Hawk is now deputy chief and is basically in charge while Sheriff Truman is away. James Hurley apparently had a motorcycle accident and now appears to be the town weirdo. Shelley Johnson still lives in town and apparently likes James now. Sarah Palmer appears to be a drunk who spends her time watching nature documentaries. The Log Lady is still getting messages from her log. Cooper is considered to be a missing person. Dr. Jacoby is living in a trailer out in the middle of nowhere.

4. Rather sweetly, tonight’s episode was dedicated to the memories of Frank Silva (the original Killer BOB) and Catherine E. Coulson. Coulson passed away shortly after shooting her scenes as the Log Lady. It was obvious, in her scenes, that she didn’t have much time left. I’m glad that she got to recreate her most famous role and that the show didn’t resort to introducing a new Log Lady. (“My name is Maggie. My grandma left me this log in her will. You may call me Log Girl.” See, that would not have been a good thing…)

5. How creepy were those scenes in New York!?

6. Brent Briscoe, who played the detective in the South Dakota scenes, also played a detective in Mulholland Drive. In fact, many of the scenes in South Dakota reminded me more of Mulholland Drive than Twin Peaks.

7. The difficulty that the cops had in getting a key to Ruth Davenport’s apartment was pure Lynch. People are either going to love it or hate it.

8. The scenes in the Black Lodge were perhaps the best part of the episode. The talking tree-thing totally freaked me out. At the same time, Lynch is a master of how to use silence to create an ominous atmosphere. It was during the moments when no one was talking that I often found myself the most creeped out.

9. Matthew Lillard is not always an actor who gets a lot of credit but he really delivered tonight. On the one hand, Lillard’s character appeared to be sincere when he claimed he was innocent. On the other hand, we’ve seen Matthew Lillard play so many crazy characters that our natural instinct is to distrust. I don’t know if we’ll see his character again but we definitely won’t forget him.

10. To which character did I most relate? Probably Tracy, because we both deliver coffee and wear thong underwear.

11. I loved the song at the end!

12. As I hinted earlier, I imagine that a lot of people were frustrated by tonight’s episode. In many ways, the first 80 minutes reminded me of the Chris Isaak/Keifer Sutherland prologue that started off Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. I think people who are familiar with and who appreciate Lynch’s style probably found a lot to love tonight. Casual viewers, on the other hand, are probably wondering what the rest of us are so excited about. David Lynch has always defiantly gone his own way and stayed true to his own unique vision. That’s what makes him such an exciting artist. At the same time, mainstream audiences hate being confused. Surrealism makes them feel insecure.

Anyway, those are my initial thoughts! I’ll have a more in-depth review either later tonight or maybe tomorrow!

Twins Peaks on TSL:

Zombeavers Is The Best Zombie Beaver Film Ever!!!!

Posted on June 19, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Of the many deliberately ludicrous and over-the-top nature-gone-made films to be released in the wake of Sharknado, Zombeavers is one of the most impressive. Certainly, it’s probably the best film that will ever made about zombie beavers.

The film takes place in one of those isolated areas of rural America where cell phones don’t work, everyone drives a pickup truck, and nobody would dare be seen without a shotgun in his hands. Of course, if you’ve ever seen a horror movie before than you know that any area this isolated is going to inevitably be ground zero in a mutant beaver attack.

Perhaps not surprisingly, it’s all John Mayer’s fault. Yes, that’s right, John “Your Body Is A Wonderland” Mayer. He makes his feature film acting debut here, playing a dumbass trucker who, after his truck collides with a deer, ends up losing a barrel of toxic waste. That barrel rolls into a nearby lake where it turns the local beaver population into zombeavers!

(Whenever I watch anything on Netflix, I always turn on the closed captioning. One of the joys of watching Zombeavers came from getting to read sentences like “Zombeavers growl,” at the bottom of the screen.)

Meanwhile, three sorority sisters are spending the weekend at a nearby cabin. Jenn (Lexi Atkins) is depressed because she caught her boyfriend cheating on her. Zoe (Cortney Palm) is sarcastic, uses “bitch” as a term of affection, and owns a puppy named Gosling. (I related to Zoe, despite being a cat person.) Mary (Rachel Melvin) owns the cabin and is determined to have the perfect girls weekend. Unfortunately, those plans are ruined by both the surprise arrival of their boyfriends and a sudden zombeaver attack…

Fortunately, there is a potentially crazy but helpful hunter wandering around the woods. His name is Smyth (“Smyth with a y,” he says upon introducing himself) and he’s played by veteran character actor Rex Linn. Linn doesn’t get much dialogue but he still manages to make every line memorable as he gives a performance that strikes a perfect balance between drama and parody. At one point, Linn delivers a monologue about how, in the 1970s, everyone in the county got “beaver fever.” It’s ludicrous and the joke is so obvious but Linn bring so much commitment to the monologue and to his performance that he sells it.

And really, the same can be said for Zombeavers as a movie. It’s ludicrous. It’s silly. There’s not a single beaver joke that doesn’t, at some point, get made. And yet, the film works. It’s a parody that somehow manages to remain credible. Yes, the zombeavers are intentionally designed to look fake but you still would not necessarily want to come across one at the foot of your bed in the middle of the night. Yes, the characters say a lot of silly things but the cast delivers those lines with both a straight face and a lot of conviction. (In fact, all three of the lead actresses are totally natural and convincing in their roles.) Everyone involved with the film — from the cast to crew — is so committed to the material that it works even when it shouldn’t.

Zombeavers is currently available on Netflix and should be watched by anyone who loves insane monster movies. It’s the best movie about zombie beavers ever made.

Embracing the Melodrama Part II #96: A Simple Plan (dir by Sam Raimi)

Posted on June 2, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1998 film A Simple Plan reunites Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton. After previously playing adversaries in One False Move, they played brothers here. However, it’s not just the cast that makes A Simple Plan feel like a spiritual descendant of One False Move. Both One False Move and A Simple Plan deal with greed and violence. Both One False Move and A Simple Plan take place in a small town where everyone thinks that they know all there is to know about each other. Both One False Move and A Simple Plan feature Paxton as a man who turns out to be something more than what the viewer originally assumed. Perhaps most importantly, both One False Move and A Simple Plan are meditations on guilt, greed, and community.

A Simple Plan takes place in Minnesota, in a world that seems to exist under a permanent layer of snow and ice. While out hunting, Hank (Bill Paxton), his well-meaning but dim-witted brother Jacob (Billy Bob Thornton), and their redneck friend Lou (Brent Briscoe) stumble across an airplane that has crashed in the woods. Inside the airplane, they find a dead pilot and a bag containing 4 million dollars. At first, Hank says they should call the authorities and let them know what they’ve found but he rather easily allows Jacob and Lou to talk him out of it. Instead, they agree that Hank will hide the money at his house until spring arrives. They also agree to not tell anyone about the money but, as soon as he arrives home, Hank tells his pregnant wife Sarah (Bridget Fonda) everything that has happened.

Needless to say, this simple plan quickly get complicated. Sarah is soon telling Hank that he should not trust Lou and Jacob. The local sheriff (Chelcie Ross) saw Hank and Jacob leaving the woods after discovering the plane and may (or may not) be suspicious of what they found. Alcoholic Lou starts to demand his share of the money early. As things start to spiral, Hank finds himself doing things that he would have never thought he would ever do. Or, as Sarah puts it, “Nobody’d ever believe that you’d be capable of doing what you’ve done.”

And then, one day, a mysterious FBI agent (Gary Cole) shows up and says that he’s looking for the plane. Except that, according to Sarah, he’s not really with the FBI…

It’s appropriate that A Simple Plan takes place in a world that appears to be permanently covered in snow because it is a film that is both chilly and chilling. Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton are both perfectly cast. (Thornton received an Oscar nomination for his performance. Paxton undoubtedly deserved one.) Bridget Fonda turns Sarah into a small town Lady MacBeth and Gary Cole, Brent Briscoe, and Chelcie Ross are all memorable in smaller roles.

(Brent Biscoe, in particular, is a redneck nightmare.)

The next time that you want to contemplate the evil that is done in the name of money, why not start off with a double feature of One False Move and A Simple Plan?