A Blast From The Past: The Procrastinator (dir by Herk Havey)

Posted on October 26, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Goddammit, Jean let everyone down again!

Jean is at the center of The Procrastinator, a short educational film from 1952. Jean has a history of putting stuff off and letting down her friends, her parents, her peers, and probably the entire state of Kansas as well. Still, despite the fact that Jean has repeatedly shown that she can’t be trusted with any responsibility, her fellow students decide to give her some responsibility. When Jean continues to procrastinate, they all get mad at her but you know what? Is it really Jean’s fault that they gave her a job that she obviously couldn’t handle?

What I’m saying is stop being so judgmental! Everyone has their own way. Some people get things done early. Some people wait until the last minute. And then there are people like me who make plans to do everything early but who still end up waiting until the last second regardless. For example, my original plan for this year was to write all of my Horrorthon reviews in May and June and then spend October in a state of blissful relaxation. Needless to say, that didn’t happen. But, to be honest, I kind of enjoy the pressure of having to get things done at the last minute. I do my best work under pressure, I think.

Now, if you’re wondering why I’m sharing this video in October, it’s because this film was directed by Herk Harvey. Harvey made a career out of directing short educational films but, to horror audiences, he’s best known for directing a classic horror film called Carnival of Souls. Carnival of Souls is a film that I’ll be sharing in a few days. On the surface, The Procrastinator may not appear to have much in common with Carnival of Souls. However, I think you can compare Jean’s refusal to do things in a timely fashion to Candace Hilligoss’s refusal to accept the reason for why she keeps seeing ghosts following her everywhere she goes. So, in way, both of these films take place in the same universe. Call it the Herkiverse.

Watch and decide for yourself!

Lisa Marie’s Grindhouse Trailers: 6 Trailers For The Fourth Tuesday In October

Posted on October 26, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Halloween City by Karl Pfieffer

Since today is Pumpkin Day (yes, they get their own day!), it only makes sense that today’s edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse trailers should feature just that!

Without further ado, here are today’s pumpkin-centered trailers! Happy Pumpkin Day, everyone!

Pumpkinhead (1988)

Hey, I reviewed this movie earlier this month! The monster’s impressive, though I wish his head was a bit more pumpkin-like. This movie gave Lance Henriksen a rare starring role and we will always be thankful. Lance is the best!

2. Pumpkinhead II (1994)

Eventually, Pumpkinhead returned. Consider this proof that you can’t keep a good pumpkin down.

3. Pumpkinhead 3 (2006)

After the first sequel, Pumpkinhead took a 12-year hiatus from appearing in the movies. It’s rumored that he blew all of his money on cocaine and it was either make a third movie or go to jail for tax fraud. For whatever reason, he eventually returned in yet another sequel.

4. Pumpkinhead 4 (2007)

To date, this has been the final Pumpinhead movie. Hopefully, Pumpkinhead is doing a better job managing his money and his lifestyle now and he won’t be forced to do a Pumpkinhead 5 just to pay the rent.

5. Pumpkins (2019)

Just when I was getting worried that I might have been too hasty when I decided to devote this edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse Trailers to movies about pumpkins, I discovered that there literally is a movie called Pumpkins. And here’s the trailer!

6. Trick ‘r’ Treat (2009)

Hey, that kid is dressed like a pumpkin …. kind of. And there are pumpkins in the trailer so, a far as I’m concerned, close enough!

What do you think, Pumpkin Trailer Kitty?

Horror On The Lens: House On Haunted Hill (dir by William Castle)

Posted on October 26, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The original The House on Haunted Hill is a classic and one that we make it a point to share every Halloween. And since October is nearly over, now seems like the perfect time to do so!

Be sure to check out Gary’s review by clicking here!

Enjoy Vincent Price at his best!

The TSL’s Grindhouse: Mulberry Street (dir by Jim Mickle)

Posted on October 25, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Rats are the freaking worst, aren’t they?

Seriously, I can see the good in almost all of the creatures of the world but I hate rats and I hate cockroaches and I hate both of them for the exact same reason. They’re just so dirty! I mean, they are two of the filthiest animals on the planet. Look up the source of any plague that nearly wiped out humanity in the pre-modern era and rats are somehow going to be to blame. I’m very proud to say that there has never been a single rat or a mouse in any home in which I’ve ever lived. (When I was in college, however, I did once see a mouse running from classroom to classroom. Consider that. I keep my home cleaner than the average college.)

Mulberry Street is a horror film from 2006 that gives us an entirely new reason to dislike rats. Not only do they spread the Bubonic Plague but they also turn people into human/rat/zombie hybrids! At least, that’s what happens in this film. Set in New York City during one very long and very hot summer day, Mulberry Street imagines a world in which the rats get tired of hiding in the subways and they finally take over Manhattan. People are bitten. People are transformed into humanoid rats. People go crazy and attempt to infect other people. It get wild out there. They say you can see anything in New York and apparently, you can. Unfortunately, the cost of seeing is turning into a rat. That kind of sucks.

Casey (Kim Blair) has just returned from serving her country in Iraq and she would rather not be turned into a rat. Her father, Clutch (Nick Damici), is an ex-boxer and he would also rather not turn into a rat. In a world dominated by rats, what are the ratphobic to do? Clutch, Casey, and a handful of others barricade themselves inside their apartments and they try to survive the night while the rats scratch at the door.

Yes, Mulberry Street is yet another zombie film. I mean, they may be rat hybrids as opposed to being the undead but, in the end, they might as well be a zombies. However, Mulberry Street works better than the average zombie film because it was shot guerilla-style on the streets of New York City. There’s a raw authenticity to Mulberry Street, with its jittery camerawork and it’s cast of talented but unknown actors. The threat feels real. The struggle to survive feels real. The fears feels real. At no point are you confident that Casey, Clutch , and their friends are going to survive the night. Mulberry Street feels as real as any film featuring human/rat hybrids can. Even before the rats attack, Mulberry Street presents us with a New York that feels sick and dying. In the end, the rats are just the next logical step. The city has devolved to such an extent that an attack of zombie rats feels predestined.

Mulberry Street was well-directed by Jim Mickle. Mickle would go on to direct Cold in July, one of the best modern noirs to be released over the past few years. Be sure to check out both films.

Horror Scenes That I Love: The Final Scene of The Birds

Posted on October 25, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

From 1963’s The Birds and directed by Alfred Hitchcock, this is one of the best horror endings ever.

The birds have won. Or, at least they have until Birdemic….

Horror Book Review: Killer’s Kiss by R.L. Stine

Posted on October 25, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

R.L. Stine’s 1997 YA novel, Killer’s Kiss, tells the story of Karina and Delia.

Karina and Delia have always been rivals. If one gets a good grade, the other has to get a better grade. If there’s a competition for a prestigious prize, you can bet that Karina and Delia will be at the center of it. You can’t be friends with Karina if you’re going to be friends with Delia, that’s just a given. And, since this is an R.L. Stine book, Karina and Delia are especially competitive when it comes to boys!

That’s where Vincent comes in. When the book open, Vincent is making out with Delia and Delia mentions how happy she is that Vincent chose her over Karina. Well, it turns out that Vincent is either totally wishy washy or just has a bad sense of humor because guess what? He didn’t chose Delia over Karina. Instead, he chose both of them! Vincent is secretly seeing both girls but you know how it is on Fear Street. You can’t keep a secret for long.

Soon, Delia and Karina are competing for more than the Conklin Award (which is one of those weird high school prizes that always end up leading to murderous drama on Fear Street). They’re competing for Vincent, who really doesn’t seem like he deserves all the attention but again, it’s an R.L. Stine book. When Vincent turns up dead, it not only means that prom night is going to have to be replanned. It also means that either Delia or Karina is the murderer! Karina accuses Delia! Delia accuses Karina! Who is the guilty party!?

As you may have guessed from my strained attempts to fake some enthusiasm while discussing the plot of this novel, Killer’s Kiss is not one of the better Fear Street entires. Basically, it’s a book about two rivals competing for the chance to date a complete jerk. It’s hard to get emotionally involved in something like that. Beyond that, the whole rivalry between Delia and Karina just feels exaggerated and fake. They’re both kind of annoying. I wouldn’t want to know either one of them. Finally, the mystery itself is pretty easy to figure out. The novel does end with a bit of deus ex machina that simply has to be read to believed but, otherwise, this is lesser Stine.

Book Review: The Complete Jack The Ripper: A to Z by Paul Begg, Martin Fido, and Keith Skinner

Posted on October 25, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

We will never actually know who Jack the Ripper actually was.

People will always be offering up theories, of course. His crimes were so terrible and his nickname was so memorable and the fact that he was never caught is, to modern audiences spoiled by true crime shows and detective movies, so improbable that there’s a tendency to assume that Jack the Ripper must have been someone significant in his everyday life. Everyone from Queen Victoria’s son to Lewis Carroll to Oscar Wilde has been accused over the years.

My personal theory is that Jack the Ripper was a nobody. He didn’t have any medical training. He wasn’t a part of a grand conspiracy. He had no motive beyond his own hatred of women. He stalked prostitutes because they were easy targets. His murders were savage because he was a sadist who wanted to show off the power that he felt he had over his victims. He got away with his crimes not because he was clever or protected but just because, in 1888, the police had no experience with a serial killer like Jack the Ripper. In all probability, the killer was some anonymous loser, one of the many strange and angry men who could probably be spotted in Whitechapel on any foggy night.

Unfortunately, after more than a 130 years of mystery, no one wants to admit that Jack the Ripper was probably some guy that no one’s ever heard of. There’s a tendency to assume that he had to be someone important or, at the very least, someone who was at least mentioned in a handful of books about the Whitechapel murders. Sadly, far too many people are under the impression that Patricia Cornwell solved the case in 2002. In Portrait of a Killer, Cornwell accused the painter Walter Sickert of being the murderer. Her main argument consisted of an inconclusive DNA test and an apparent inability to appreciate Victorian-era art. Cornwell didn’t care much for Sickert’s paintings and therefore, Sickert had to be history’s most notorious murderer. It’s a bit silly but a lot of people bought into it because it was Patricia Cornwell making the accusation.

To those people who insist that the murderer had to be a Victorian celebrity, I would point them to The Complete Jack the Ripper: A to Z. Published in 2010, this book is the definitive guide to the Ripper murders. It contains entries for every suspect, every victim, every policeman, every clue, and every theory. There’s a lot of information to be found in this book. In fact, there’s so much information that it’s easy to see how the actual killer could slip through the cracks and, unseen by the overwhelmed and underprepared legal authorities, disappear into the dark shadows of history. Along with presenting a clear-eyed and nonbiased look at the suspects and the theories, the book is also to be commended for what it tells us about Jack the Ripper’s victims, who are too often forgotten when it comes to discussing the crimes. So much time is spent on Jack’s identity that the women he murdered are often pushed to the side. This book does not make that mistake.

This is the definitive book on Jack the Ripper, whoever he may have been.

International Horror Review: The Mark of the Wolfman (dir by Enrique López Eguiluz)

Posted on October 25, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1968 Spanish film, The Mark of the Wolfman, is a strange one.

Just try to keep this straight:

In Eastern Europe, two gypsies accidentally bring back to life a feared werewolf named Imre Wolfstein. (Beware any supernatural creature who has an ironic name.) Wolfstein proceeds to terrorize the countryside, attacking both the good and the bad alike. He also finds the time to attack a Polish nobleman named Waldemer Danisky (Paul Naschy). Danisky survives the attack but now he’s a werewolf! Unlike Wolfstein, Danisky is not happy about being a werewolf, especially when he discovers that he’s been killing innocent people while transformed. So, Danisky decides to go to a local scientist named Dr. Janos Mikhelov (Julian Ugarte). Unfortunately, it turns out that Dr. Mikhelov is a vampire and so is his wife! They’ve got special plans for both of the werewolves!

The Mark of the Wolfman was the first of many films in which Naschy would play Count Danisky. They were extremely popular in Europe and Paul Naschy became a big star in Spain. In fact, he was sometimes called the Spanish Lon Chaney and given that Naschy often talked about how The Wolf Man (starring Lon Chaney, Jr.) was one of his favorite films when he was a child, that undoubtedly brought him a lot of pleasure. And indeed, Naschy’s performance as Danisky did owe a bit to Lon Chaney Jr’s performance as Larry Talbot. They’re both tortured souls, desperately seeking an escape from their curse and continually being brought back to life against their will. The main difference between the two was that Danisky never got quite as whiny as Talbot. Whereas Lon Chaney Jr. played Larry Talbot as being just a big dumb lug, Naschy played Danisky as being a far more aggressive character. Danisky wasn’t just depressed over being a werewolf. He was pissed off about it.

The plot of Mark of the Wolfman may sound complicated but, by the standards of Naschy’s other films, it’s actually rather straight-forward and uncomplicated. Of course, it can be difficult for an American to judge Naschy’s films because many of them were never released here in the United States and those that were can usually only be found in poorly dubbed and crudely edited versions. For instance, Mark of the Wolfman was released in the United States as Frankenstein’s Bloody Terror, despite the fact that neither Frankenstein nor his monster were anywhere to be found in the original film. However, the distributors needed a film to go on a double bill with another Frankenstein movie. To justify the title change, narration was added to the start of the film that established that Wolfstein was a descendant of Frankenstein. Apparently, the price for playing God was to be cursed with lycanthropy. It’s actually kind of charming in a drive-in sort of way.

Even if you know nothing about the subsequent career of Paul Naschy or the many sequels that followed this film, The Mark of the Wolfman holds up well as an entertaining horror film. It’s only 88 minutes long and it manages to pack drunken gypsies, tortured werewolves, devious vampires, and a dungeon into its brief running time. As a result, it’s never boring. Visually, the film is a treat, with the camera swiftly moving across the wilderness or tracking through gothic castles. (Mark of the Wolfman was originally filmed in 3D and, watching the film, I found myself thinking that it probably looked pretty damn impressive to audiences in 1968.) Because the version that I saw was badly dubbed into English, it wasn’t always easy to judge the performances but Naschy played Danisky with a properly haunted look.

The Mark of the Wolfman is an enjoyable work of Spanish horror, one that undoubtedly helped to revitalize Spanish horror just as assuredly at the Blind Dead and Jess Franco.

Insomnia File #50: Zola (dir by Janicza Bravo)

Posted on October 25, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or Netflix? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

If you were having trouble getting to sleep around two a.m. on Monday morning, you could have turned over to Showtime 2’s west coast feed and watched Zola.

Zola tells the story of Zola (Taylor Paige), a Detroit waitress and part-time stripper who is invited to go down to Florida by another stripper, Stefani (Riley Keough). Stefani assures Zola that they’re just going to have a good time and make some money dancing in the clubs. Instead, it turns out that they’re going to Florida with Stefani’s roommate, X (Colman Domingo, showing compelling flashes of charisma and danger), and her simple-minded but loyal boyfriend, Derrek (Nicholas Braun). It also turns out that X is actually a Nigerian named Abegunde Olawale and that he is Stefani’s pimp. It doesn’t take long for Zola to grow annoyed with everyone else on the road trip but, unfortunately, she’s already stuck in Tampa with them. That’s the problem with going on a road trips with perfect strangers. The trip grows stranger and more violent with each passing hour. In fact, it gets so strange that, when Zola eventually tells her story on twitter, the thread goes viral. And then this movie is made, with a disclaimer that states that most of the story is based on fact.

Zola made quite a splash when it premiered at Sundance in 2020. Audiences either loved or hated its extreme stylization and rather crass cast of characters. While the film was originally scheduled to be released in 2020, that release was delayed by the COVID pandemic. At a time when people were scared to go outside and be near even their closest relatives or friends, I guess someone decided that it wasn’t the right time to release a movie about going on a cramped road trip with two morons and a psychotic pimp. The film was finally released earlier this year. It got good critical notices, though audiences seemed to be slightly less enamored with it.

Speaking for myself, I was both impressed and annoyed with Zola. On the one hand, you have to respect a film that’s willing to run the risk of alienating the audience in order to tell its story. Zola is violent, vulgar, and frequently funny. It’s also frequently disturbing, with Zola continually finding herself in a bad situation from which she can’t escape. Taylour Paige brings a lot of inner strength to the role of Zola. When Zola gets annoyed, she doesn’t hide it. When Zola says she’s not going to do something, she means it and she says it with such confidence that even X respects her. She and Stefani also have an interesting relationship, one that will ring true to anyone who has ever had that one friend who simply cannot stop messing up her life. The film embraces its characters and their activities, refusing to pass judgment or to sentimentalize. You have to admire the film’s commitment. At the same time, the film is occasionally a bit annoying. It’s so extremely stylized and Stefani is so loud and crass that it can sometimes be tough to take. This is a film that benefits from being watched at home as opposed to in theater, if just because you can hit pause whenever you feel a migraine starting to come on. (Poor Zola, meanwhile, is stuck in the back of X’s car, listening to Stefani and Derreck and realizing that she’s pretty much stuck with all of them.) Zola was produced and distributed by A24 and it is indeed very much an A24 film, loud, frustrating, paranoia-inducing, and occasionally compelling.

Zola is only 90 minutes long but it packs a lot into those minutes. It’s not a boring film. At the same time, it’s never quite as subversive as something like Spring Breakers. Instead, it’s just an energetic recreation of the road trip from Hell.

Previous Insomnia Files:

Suspense Film Review: Rope (dir by Alfred Hitchcock)

Posted on October 25, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Rope, an odd little 1948 experiment from Alfred Hitchcock, opens with a murder.

Two wealthy young men, Brandon (John Dall) and Philip (Farley Granger), invite their friend, David Kentley (Dick Hogan), up to their apartment. When David arrives, they strangle him and hide his body in a wooden chest. As quickly becomes obvious, Brandon and Philip killed David largely to see if they could pull off the perfect murder. Brandon is sure that they did and, that by doing so, they proved the concept of Nietzsche’s Übermensch, The alcoholic Philip is less sure and starts drinking.

Brandon and Philip don’t just have murder planned for the day. They’re also planning on throwing a little dinner party and, among those on the guest list, are David’s parents, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend’s former boyfriend. Also attending will be Brandon and Philip’s former teacher and housemaster, Rupert Cadell (James Stewart). In fact, Brandon regularly claims that he got the idea to commit the perfect murder as a result of discussing philosophy with Rupert. Apparently, Rupert turned Brandon onto Nietzsche….

AGCK! JIMMY STEWART LEADING YOUNG MEN TO FASCISM!? SAY IT’S NOT SO!

Well, fortunately, the dinner party conversations reveals that Brandon and Philip misunderstood what Rupert was trying to tell them. They assumed, using the same type of logic that currently fuels most debate today, that just because Rupert mentioned something that meant that he approved of it. As it becomes clear that Rupert would not approve of what his students have done and as Rupert himself starts to suspect that something bad has happened at the apartment, Brandon and Philip start to plot against their former mentor….

Now, it can be argued that Rope is not a horror movie. And indeed, if your definition of horror is ghosts, vampires, werewolves, or any other type of paranormal creature than yes, Rope has none of those. Instead, the horror of Rope is the horror of human cruelty. It’s the horror of two privileged young men who have so twisted the words of their mentor that they’ve become monsters. The horror in Rope comes from the fact that, in 1948, Brandon and Philip have embraced the same philosophy that, only a few years earlier, had plunged the entire world into war. While families mourned their dead and Europe struggled to rebuild, Brandon and Philip showed that they had no understanding of or concern for the trauma that humanity had just suffered. And making it even more disturbing is that they found the justification for their crimes in the lessons taught by the epitome of American decency, Jimmy Stewart. The idea of that is more terrifying than any Hammer vampire flick.

Of course, Rope is best known for being a bit of an experiment. Hitchcock edited the film to make it appear as if it was all shot in one take and events, therefore, played out in real time. It’s an interesting idea and, as always, you have to admire Hitchcock’s ingenuity and, even in a film as grim as this one, his playfulness. At the same time, Hitchcock’s technique makes an already stagey story feel even stagier. Some of the actors — like James Stewart, John Dall, and Cedric Hardwicke in the role of David’s father — are able to give naturalistic and convincing performances despite the staginess of the material. Others, like poor Farley Granger, find themselves overshadowed by the film’s one-shot gimmick.

Rope is an experiment that doesn’t quite work but flawed Hitchcock is still a pleasure to watch. The final few minutes, with Stewart and Dall finally confronting each other, are among the best that Hitchcock ever put together. I appreciate Rope, even if it doesn’t quite succeed.