2022 In Review: Lisa Marie’s 10 Favorite Songs of 2022


As I point out every January, these are my ten favorite songs of the previous year.  Other people who have written for TSL over the years may have very different favorite songs of the year.  In fact, check out Necromoonyeti’s list of his 35 top albums!

Anyway, here are my ten favorite songs of the previous year.  For the most part, my musical tastes tend to run the gamut from EDM to More EDM.  That said, I think there’s perhaps a bit of variety to this year’s list as opposed to previous years.  Or maybe not.  Who knows?  I’m typing this up at one in the morning so, to be honest, I’m lucky that I can even keep straight which year I’m writing about.

Also be sure to check out my favorite songs of (deep breath) 2021, 202020192018201720162015201420132012, and 2011!

10. My Mind and Me by Selena Gomez

9. Beg For You by Charli XCX, feat. Rina Sawayama

8. Compliance by Muse

7. When I’m Gone by Alesso and Katy Perry

6. Let Somebody Go by Coldplay and Selena Gomez

5. One More Time by Armin van Buuren feat. Maia Wright

4. Kill or Be Killed by Muse

3. Limitless by Martin Garrix & Mesto

2. Lost Track by HAIM

1. Monica Lewinsky by Upsahl

Lisa Marie’s 2022 In Review:

  1. Lisa Marie’s Picks For The 16 Worst Films of 2022

Lisa Marie’s Picks For The 16 Worst Films of 2022


Well, it’s nearly February so I guess it’s time for me to start listing my picks for the best and the worst of 2022.

It’s pretty much a tradition here at the Shattered Lens that I always end up running behind as far as posting these lists are concerned.  I always think that I’m going to have everything ready to go during the first week of January but then I realize that there’s still a host of movies that I need to see before I can, in good conscience, post any sort of list.  Fortunately, I think I’ve finally reached where I can start posting lists.  Add to that, as I said at the start of this post, it’s nearly February!

Below, you’ll find my picks for the 16 worst films of 2022.  Why 16 films?  Because Lisa doesn’t do odd numbers!

In the end, of course, this list is my opinion.  You’re free to agree or disagree.  That’s the wonderful thing about having an opinion.

(Also be sure to check out my picks for 2021, 2020, 201920182017201620152014201320122011, and 2010!)

16. Glass Onion (dir by Rian Johnson) — I realize that, by even including Glass Onion on this list, I’m going out on a limb here.  A lot of people who I respect really enjoyed this film.  Several of my friends have it on their best of the year lists.  And that’s fine!  The film just didn’t work for me and it often seemed a bit too amused with itself.  That said, what really pushed me over the edge was what happened to the Mona Lisa.  If that hadn’t happened, this film would probably be ranked in the middle of the 129 films that are eligible for this year’s worst and best lists.

15. The Fallout (dir by Megan Park) — The Fallout dealt with an important subject and it had some good performances but it was just a bit too overwritten and predictable for me.  Plus, the film opened with someone making a really messy peanut butter sandwich and that totally grossed me out.  Jenna Ortega is still destined to be a star, though.

14. Studio 666 (dir by BJ McDonnell) — I wasn’t particularly harsh in my initial review of Studio 666 but, the more I think about it, the more dissatisfied I am with the film.  This is one of those films where the people making it definitely had more fun than the people who watched it.  I still respect the Foo Fighters for doing something for their fans and Dave Grohl seems to be about as likable and goofy as a rock star can be.  But the film itself ultimately feels a bit lazy,

13. A Day To Die (dir by Wes Miller) — This bland action film got some attention because it was one of the many films featuring Bruce Willis to be released this year.  Unfortunately, this one was just boring.  Willis and co-star Kevin Dillion were both seen to better effect in Wire Room.

12. The Princess (dir by Le-Van Kiet) — This cheap-looking film had a lot of action but not much characterization.  The film was so busy patting itself on the back for celebrating girl power that it didn’t seem to have noticed that the girl at the center of the film was seriously underwritten.

11. The Bubble (dir by Judd Apatow) — This oddly mean-spirited satire was Judd Apatow at his most self-indulgent and undisciplined.  The film’s smug attitude made it a real chore to sit through.

10. Fortress: Sniper’s Eye (dir by Josh Sternfeld) — This rather pointless action film was among the many films in which Bruce Willis appeared this year.  Willis spends most of the film offscreen while Jesse Metcalfe and Chad Michael Murray play two enemies who are trying to kill each other because of …. reasons, I guess.  Instead of watching this film, check out Willis in White Elephant, an entertaining film in which he plays a crime boss who goes to war with Michael Rooker.

9. Hellraiser (dir by David Buckner) — Blandly directed and poorly acted, this was a pointless reboot of the Hellraiser series, with Jamie Clayton proving to be a forgettable replacement for Doug Bradley.

8. American Siege (dir by Edward Drake) — This was undoubtedly the worst of Bruce Willis’s 2022 films, with a silly plot and Willis cast as an alcoholic police chief who has to decide whether or not to stand up to the richest man in town.  That said, Edward Drake also directed in Bruce Willis in Gasoline Alley, an excellent modern-day noir that featured a great lead performance from Devon Sawa and which gave Willis a decent role.  Instead of seeing American Siege, track down Gasoline Alley.

7. Windfall (dir by Charlie McDowell) — Jason Segel, Jesse Plemons, Lily Collins, and Charlie McDowell are all undoubtedly talented but this hostage melodrama goes nowhere unexpected.  Like a lot of hostage dramas, it becomes a bit of a drag as all of the expected mental games are played.  The attempt at social commentary falls flat.

6. Morbius (dir by Daniel Espinosa) — I started this film in October and didn’t bother to finish it until January.  Jared Leto seems to be taking the whole thing just a bit too seriously.  I still think it’s funny that a bunch of twitter trolls tricked Sony into re-releasing this thing so that it could flop twice.

5. Amsterdam (dir by David O. Russell) — Overlong and self-indulgent, Amsterdam features all of David O. Russell’s storytelling flaws without many of his strength.  To be honest, this film lost me as soon as the cutesy “This is based on an almost true story” flashed across the screen.  Amsterdam thinks that it’s considerably more clever than it is.  Taylor Swift, for all of her other talents, is not a particularly interesting actress.  Christian Bale gave the type of terrible performance that can only be delivered by someone with a lot of talent but not much of an attention span.  John David Washington was as bland as ever.  The anti-FDR Businessman’s Plot is not as obscure or unknown as this film seems to think that it is.

4. Blonde (dir by Andrew Dominik) — Andrew Dominik gives us yet another incredibly pretentious film that doesn’t seem to have much of a point beyond rubbing the audience’s face in how depressing life can be.  For all the effort that this film takes to recreate the life of Marilyn Monroe, the film doesn’t really seem to have much respect for her or even really like her that much.  Indeed, the film takes an almost perverse joy in detailing every tragedy that she suffered but it never displays much empathy for her suffering.  Never does the film see fit to really acknowledge her as a talented actress who was reportedly far more intelligent and well-read than most people realized.  People should be far more upset over Ana de Armas’s Oscar nomination than Andrea Riseborough’s.

3. The Sky is Everywhere (dir by Josephine Decker) — Ugh.  This film was unbearably twee.

2. Halloween Ends (dir by David Gordon Green) — In the past, I’ve liked quite a few of David Gordon Green’s films.  But I have to admit that I’ve disliked his Halloween films so much that it’s actually made me start to dislike his past movies as well.  There’s just something incredibly smug about Green’s approach to the films, as if he wants to make sure that we all understand that he’s better than the average horror director.  The thought of Green redoing The Exorcist…. bleh!  Anyway, Halloween Ends is a Halloween film that barely features Michael Myers.  The ending, with the somber march to the auto yard, was the most unintentionally funny thing that I’ve seen this year.  Can someone please tell David Gordon Green to get back to making films like Joe?

1. After Ever Happy (dir by Castille Landon) — The saga of the world’s most boring lovers continues.  Will these films never end!?

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 2.7 “Let the Good Times Roll/Nightmare/The Tiger”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, we’ve got a special, 90-minute episode of Fantasy Island!

Episode 2.7 “Let the Good Times Roll/Nightmare/The Tiger”

(Dir by George McCowan, originally aired on November 4th, 1978)

This week’s supersized episode of Fantasy Island begins with Tattoo revealing that he’s come up with a new way to annoy Mr. Roarke.

Mr, Roarke rolls his eyes and dramatically sighs, especially when Tattoo makes the mistake of assuming that Roarke is a Pisces.  (“I am a Sagittarius!” Roarke snaps.)  For once, Mr. Roarke is right to be annoyed.  There’s no time for this foolishness this week!  We’ve got three fantasies to deal with!

For instance, Duke Manducci (Paul Sand) and Ernie “Smooth” Kowalski (Peter Isacksen) want to go back to the 1960s and relive their youth.  Duke was once known as the King of the Strip because he could outrace anyone.  Now, years later, Duke is just a guy working in a garage.  Roarke leads them to an exact recreation of the Strip.  The Strip is so perfectly recreated that even Donny Bonaduce shows up to make trouble.

Uh-oh, it turns out that Mr. Roarke has also invited all of Duke’s old friends to come take part in Duke’s fantasy.  Except, of course, none of them know that Duke is still working at the same gas station that he worked at as a teenager.  Duke ends up telling a lot of lies in order to convince them that he’s made a success of himself.   But when he falls for Sheila Crane (Mary Ann Mobley), he realizes that it’s time to be honest.  And when Bonaduce challenges him to a race, Duke eventually realizes that his racing days are over and it’s time for him to be a grown-up.  Duke not only learns an important lesson but he’s also offered a job working on a NASCAR pit crew.  Yay!

Meanwhile, Janine Sanford (Pamela Franklin) is haunted by a recurring nightmare.  She always has the dream at midnight and she’s never made it to the end of the dream without waking up.  She travels to Fantasy Island with her husband (Brett Halsey, who later starred in Fulci’s Touch of Death) and her father (Ray Milland).  Her fantasy is see how her nightmare ends.  Mr. Roarke takes her to what he calls the Nightmare House.

And, oh my God, this nightmare is seriously freaky!  We see it twice.  It involves Janine watching as all of her childhood toys catch on fire.  There’s even a clown that comes to life and go crazy at one point.

Janine’s father is convinced that the dream is linked to some sort of past trauma and he fears that Janine will be hurt if she relives it. 

It turns out the joke’s on him!  Janine’s nightmare is not about the past but the future.  It turns out that it was warning her that her father was going to be trapped in a fire.  When her father is indeed trapped in a fire, Janine is able to rescue him.  Yay!  What a great fantasy and I love a happy ending.  This fantasy is handled so well that it takes a while to realize that the show just kind of dropped the whole idea of Janine suffering from past trauma, despite the fact that her father seemed really worried about what she might end up remembering.  

Finally, for our third fantasy, Victor Duncan (Darren McGavin) is a Hemingwayesque writer who wants to go to India so he can hunt a legendary tiger.  How do you think that works out for him?

Yep, the tiger kills him.

Fear not, though!  Mr. Roarke explains to Tattoo that Victor was actually terminally ill and his fantasy was to die on Fantasy Island.  So, I guess that’s a happy ending.

I actually liked this episode, if just because it was throwback to season one when all of the fantasies were linked by a common theme.  Here the link is aging and growing up.  Duke and Victor both have to deal with the fact that they’re no longer young men.  Janine manages to put her nightmare behind her and move on.  These three fantasies all seemed to belong together, so there were none of the strange tonal shifts that I’ve noticed in some of the other episodes.  All in all, this was a good trip to Fantasy Island.

Music Video of the Day: Por el Resto de tu Vida by Christian Nodal (2023, dir by Facundo Ballve)


Reminding us that music is truly the international language (along with love, of course — never accuse me of forgetting about love!), today’s music video of the day comes to us from Argentina!

Enjoy!

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 3.15 “Teen Mom” and 3.16 “Midnight Basketball”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

The saga of Indiana’s greatest basketball team continues.  I’ll always remember me and my friends at Hang Time….

Episode 3.15 “Teen Mom”

(Directed by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 1st, 1997)

Danny’s latest girlfriend, Sarah, is a teen mom!  Danny decides that, since he loves Sarah and he loves her son Max, he wants to marry her.  Sarah turns him down and Danny says that if she ever needs a babysitter, she knows who to call.  Then he leaves her house, alone.

Wow, what a depressing episode!  Give some credit to Chad Gabriel, who gives a good performance and who proves that he deserved to headline more episodes of this series than he did but still, this was definitely not a cheery episode.

Fortunately, there is a comedic B-plot, in which Kristy gets addicted to playing a video game called Killer Klown.  It  causes her to miss a photo shoot but … oh well!  KILLER KLOWN!

Episode 3.16 “Midnight Basketball”

(Directed by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 1st, 1997)

In a storyline that was used in not just one but three different episodes of Saved By The Bell, the school starts a teen line!

Coach Fuller takes charge of the teen line and, of course, the operators are the members of the basketball team.  Despite the fact that they went out on a date just two episodes ago, Michael is not sure that Julie likes him and Julie isn’t sure that Michael likes her.  They each call the teen line for advice.  Mary Beth tells Julie to throw herself at Michael.  Danny tells Michael to ignore Julie and “play hard to get.”  It’s terrible advice and it leads to a lot of confusion.  Eventually, Julie figures out why Michael has been ignoring her and they end up kissing while the audience goes wild.  Doesn’t anyone remember how badly all of Julie’s relationships tend to end?

Meanwhile, Teddy befriends a caller named Eric.  Eric keeps getting into fights because there’s nothing for him and his friends to do at night.  Breaking the rules of Teen Line (much as Zach Morris once did), Teddy meets with Eric.  Taking sympathy on Eric, Teddy arranges for a midnight basketball game at Deering High.  Eric and his friends are defeated and thoroughly humiliated by the Tornadoes.  Needless to say, Eric is not happy about that and he trashes the team’s locker room.  To be honest, I don’t blame Eric.  How are you going to invite people to your gym and then humiliate them in the middle of the night?

That said, after a heart-to-heart with Teddy, Eric returns to Deering to help clean up the locker room.  Teddy promises to mentor Eric.  We will probably never see Eric again.

I have to say that, even on a show like Hang Time, Anthony Anderson was already a good actor.  There’s a lot of heart and sincerity in his performance here and it makes the episode work even when it shouldn’t.

Music Video of the Day: Lavender Haze by Taylor Swift (2023, dir by Taylor Swift)


With this video, Taylor not only sings and stars but she also directs!  Is there nothing that Taylor Swift can’t do?

Because I’m a natural contrarian, I’ve looked for a lot of excuses to dislike Taylor Swift but I just can’t.  She’s just too damn likable.

Enjoy!

Retro Television Reviews: Hitchhike! (dir by Gordon Hessler)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1974’s Hitchhike!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

Claire Stevens (Cloris Leachman) is an emotionally vulnerable woman who is dealing with her loneliness and depression by driving to San Francisco to visit her sister.  As she’s driving, she spots a young man named Keith (Michael Brandon).  Keith is standing on the side of the road and holding out his thumb.  At first, Claire does the smart thing and she drives by him without stopping.  However, Claire starts to feel guilty so she turns around and — NO, CLAIRE!  WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!? — offers him a ride.  It turns out that he’s going to San Francisco as well!

At first, the drive is awkward.  Keith says that he doesn’t want to talk and he doesn’t appreciate it when Claire tries to make him listen to the classical music station.  But, as they drive, Keith starts to let down his defenses.  He says that he wishes that he could just sail away on the ocean.  He encourages Claire to embrace life and to just go for it.  They stop at a pier and have lunch.  Claire buys Keith a silly white hat and she places it on his head because, as she puts it, “it’s cute.”  Keith argues with her but he doesn’t take off the hat.  However, when Keith spots some cops, he immediately leads Claire away from them.

The viewer watches all of this with a sense of dread because the viewer knows what Claire doesn’t.  The viewer knows that Keith is the son of a wealthy man.  The viewer knows that Keith had been having an affair with his stepmother, who was only a few years older than Keith.  And the viewer knows that Keith murdered his stepmother with the same weapon that he’s currently carrying in his bag.  The police are looking for Keith and Keith is willing to do just about anything to stay free.

I have to admit that I yelled a little when Claire offered Keith a ride because it was such an obviously stupid thing to do.  Everyone knows that it’s never a good idea to pick up a hitchhiker.  And, if you’re a woman who is driving down an isolated road by yourself, the last thing you should ever do is offer a ride to some strange man standing on the side of the road.  Claire’s actions were foolish but, because she was played by Cloris Leachman, it was still hard not to sympathize with her.  Claire is someone who feels as if she’s been abandoned by the world and, quite obviously, she sees Keith as a kindred spirit.  Over the course of their journey, it becomes obvious that Claire is using Keith as a substitute for what she’s missing in her life.  He becomes both a son and a companion to her.  Unfortunately, Keith tends to go into a rage whenever he sense anyone getting too close to him.

Hitchhike! is a short movie and, for all the dramatic build-up, it ends on a rather anti-climatic note.  Cameron Mitchell shows up as a detective who is looking for Claire and Keith and he gives a mannered performance that is oddly over-the-top by even his generous standards.  That said, Michael Brandon has the blandly handsome look of a generic but charming serial killer while Cloris Leachman gives a credible and sympathetic performance as Claire.  If nothing else, this film can be watched with The Hitcher as a double feature.  Never stop your car for anyone!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/22/23 — 1/28/23


Here are some thoughts on what I watched this week!

(I’ve got a headache coming on so excuse the bland intro.)

Accused (Tuesday Night, FOX)

The latest new legal show is Accused.  Based on a BBC series, Accused is an anthology series in which, each week, a different person is accused of a crime and, through the use of flashbacks, we see how they came to be accused.  Anthology series tend to be rather uneven and I have a feeling that’s going to be the case with Accused.

The first episode featured Michael Chiklis as a wimpy Dad who went from plotting to kill his son to giving his son a lot of money so his son could go on a trip to Iceland.  Of course, it turned out that his son was lying and he instead used that money to buy a bunch of guns and shoot up his school.  Chiklis was found to be irresponsible but not legally liable.  It was a bit of a bland episode but, reportedly, it set a record for the number of people who watched.  (Of course, it also aired right after the Cowboys/49ers game.)  Michael Chiklis was miscast as a father who was too meek to stand up to his obviously unstable son.  And even if the role had been perfectly cast, the father was still too much of wimp to generate much sympathy.

The second episode was directed by actress Marlee Matlin and it was a little bit on improvement over the first episode.  It dealt with a couple who discovered that their newborn was deaf and their surrogate, who was also deaf and felt that she had to intervene to keep the parents from subjecting the child to a surgical procedure.  Matlin’s direction elevated the episode, especially the opening scene in which Matlin showed the viewer what it was like to live in a world without sound.  That said, the anthology format still left me feeling as if the episode was a bit inconsistent.  Basically, an entire season’s worth of information was crammed into 45 minutes.  I didn’t quite buy the episode’s ending, either.

As far as the show as a whole is concerned, we’ll see.  I’ll probably watch the next few episodes, just to see if I’m correct in my assumptions.  Hopefully, the season will shape up to be better than I’m currently expecting.

American Auto (Tuesday Night, NBC)

I think that Tuesday night was the first time that I’ve ever watched American Auto and I hate to say it but I was so busy cleaning the house that I mostly just used it for background noise.  So, I really don’t have any thoughts on this show beyond the fact that Ana Gasteyer is funny.

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

Zach is the new bachelor and oh my God is he bland.  Zach met the women vying to become his wife and he also got some advice from former bachelor Sean Lowe.  The show is always happy to bring back Sean because, after 26 seasons, he is the sole Bachelor success story.  Anyway, Zach assured us that he is on the show for the right reasons and hopefully, he will find his future wife amongst the bachelorettes.

The Brady Bunch Hour (YouTube)

I wrote about the 2nd episode of the Brady Bunch Hour here!

Customer Wars (Wednesday Morning, A&E)

This show features footage of customers getting into fights with other customers and yelling at the employees of the stores where they shop.  Ugh.  A&E did a mini-marathon on Wednesday morning and I watched a few episodes because I was waiting for the new episode of Accused to drop on Hulu.  It was hella depressing.  There’s a lot of trashy people out there.

Personally, I’d rather see a show called Costumer Wars.

Football Game: Cowboys vs 49ers (Sunday Night, FOX)

I watched this game with Erin.  The Cowboys lost so I guess winter is going to last for another six months or something.  In the past, whenever the Cowboys lost, everyone in Dallas would be depressed for weeks afterwards but this year, no one seems to really care.  I guess everyone’s used to it.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

The first Black Jacket dinner service turned out to be an utter disaster as the Fab Five totally fell apart in the kitchen.  When Chef Ramsay kicks everyone out of the kitchen, does that mean all of the diners just have to go home without getting any food?  I’ve always wondered this.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, FOX)

I didn’t pay much attention to Law & Order this week.  I mostly just had it in for background noise while I was doing some stuff around the house.  I noticed that it was a murder trial and the accused was a teenager so I’m guessing the internet was to blame.  I also noticed that the judge really got into banging down that gavel.  Seriously, I jumped every time that I heard it.

The Most Comfortable Bra You Will Ever Own (Monday Night, Infomercial)

I’m pretty sure that I already have the most comfortable bra that I will ever own.

Neighborhood Wars (Tuesday Night, A&E)

This is a show about feuding neighbors.  Like most of A&E’s other true crime shows, it makes heavy use of footage taken from drones, cell phones, and home security cameras.  The episode that I saw was a look at the “ten most memorable moments of Neighborhood Wars.”  To be honest, it was kind of a depressing show to watch.  All of the people featured were trashy, stupid, ugly, and inarticulate.  “Get your fucking bitch ass out here!” one pregnant woman yelled at her neighbor.  Ugh.

Night Court (Tuesday Night, NBC)

Eh.  Is it really necessary for Abbi to be a recovering alcoholic?  Do people watch sitcoms to be depressed?

Parking Wars (Weekday Morning, A&E)

I watched two episodes on Tuesday morning while I was waiting for the Oscar nominations to be announced and, not surprisingly, Parking Wars was just as obnoxious as I remembered.  I know the show is over ten years old now and I hope that means that the Philadelphia Parking Authority finally did something about the ugly décor of the majority of their buildings.  If you don’t want people to think they’re living in an authoritarian nightmare, try not to work out of offices decorated in the mid-50s communist style.

Survivor: Redemption Island (Hulu)

This old season of Survivor, featuring Boston Rob and Russell Hantz and introducing the concept of Redemption Island, is now on Hulu.  I watched the first episode and it was kind of nice to be reminded of how much fun Survivor was before its post-COVID facelift.

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 3.12 “Harley and the Marlboro Man” and 3.13 “Rebel Without A Nerve”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing California Dreams, which ran on NBC from 1992 to 1996.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, it’s all about Jake trying to retain his cool.

Episode 3.12 “Harley and the Marlboro Man”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on December 3rd, 1994)

“You can’t hide your smoking behind tic tacs and old spice!”

Yes, it’s time for another TNBC anti-smoking episode.  In California Dreams, Jake Summers starts to smoke after he see his super cool Uncle Frank lighting a cigarette.  Soon, Jake is totally addicted.  He can’t stop!  It doesn’t matter how many times the members of the band make him look at a picture of a cancerous lung.  It doesn’t matter that Lorena won’t kiss him.  It doesn’t matter that no one wants to be a friend with a smoker.  After smoking for one week, Jake Summers is hopelessly addicted.  He’s got the nicotine monkey on his back!  But then Frank shows up and says, “I’m dying Jake.”

Good Lord, this was heavy-handed.  This is actually the second time that I’ve watched and written about this episode and my reaction to episode pretty much remains the same.  I simply cannot believe that Jake Summers, an aspiring rocker who has spent his entire life hanging out with motorcyclists, never smoked a cigarette until he saw his Uncle Frank light up.  The Dreams themselves acted as if smoking a cigarette was the most scandalous thing in the world.  So, I guess no one smoked weed in 1990s California?  No one did cocaine in 1990s California?  None of the other bands at the Battle of the Bands ducked behind Sharkey’s to have a cigarette?  Seriously, there’s a difference between not liking cigarettes and being unbelievably naïve.  At one point, Tiffani says that nicotine is more addictive than crack cocaine.  I’ve seen several David Simon-produced shows and I just don’t believe that.

Anyway, the Dreams deal with this problem in the same way that they deal with everything.  They throw a benefit concert at Sharkey’s.

Episode 3.13 “Rebel Without A Nerve”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on December 10th, 1994)

Jake Summers is afraid he’s losing his cool!

Not only is there a new kid at school who is talking about Jake behind his back but Jake has twice crashed his motorcycle!  With his confidence shaken, Jake decides that it would be safer to accept Principal Blumford’s offer to join the school safety patrol!  Just as he was in Budget Cuts, Blumford is played Earl Boen.  In this episode, there’s yet another shoutout to Boen’s role in the Terminator films when Boen tells a photographer that some people have mistaken him for Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Anyway, Jake eventually realizes how dorky he looks wearing the safety monitor sash so he decides to challenge the new kid to racing the infamous “Coolman’s Curve,” which is apparently the most dangerous road in California.  The new kid backs down and Jake is once again proclaimed the coolest student at Pacific Coast High.  Yay!

This episode was incredibly silly but, in its way, it worked.  Jake continually crashing his bike made me laugh a little more than it should have.  What made the joke work was that all of the accidents were due to an inconvenient speed dump that had been put in the parking lot by the safety patrol.  Safety Week turned out to be the most dangerous week in California.

The important thing is that Jake did not lose his cool and, as a result, was allowed to continue living his California dream.

Film Review: You People (dir by Kenya Barris)


Ezra Cohen (Jonah Hill) and Amirah Mohammed (Lauren London) have been dating for six months.  Ezra is a Jewish atheist who works at a brokerage firm but who says his lifelong dream has been to be a podcaster.  Lauren is Black and a devout Muslim.  A graduate of Howard University, she is pursuing a career as a designer.  Despite coming from very different backgrounds, Ezra and Amirah are deeply in love and want to get married.  However, becoming engaged also means …. MEETING THE PARENTS!

Shelley and Arnold Cohen (played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus and David Duchovny) are self-styled progressives who immediately embarrass Ezra by going out of their way to trying to show how liberal and non-racist they are.  Shelley, in particular, goes out of her way to bond with Amirah but it’s immediately obvious that Shelley views Amirah as being more someone to show off than as an actual human being.  Meanwhile, Akbar Mohammed and Fatima Mohammed (played by Eddie Murphy and Nia Long) are members of the Nation of Islam who admire Louis Farrakhan and who claim that the Jews were behind the slave trade.

Just from that plot description, you can see a huge part of the problem with the new film, You People.  Whereas Shelley’s problem is that she’s too quick to brag about how much she loves the idea of having a black daughter-in-law, Akbar’s problem is that he’s an anti-Semite.  His main objections to Ezra are that 1) Ezra isn’t black and 2) Ezra’s Jewish.  While Shelley takes Amirah shopping, Akbar tries to get Ezra killed by tricking him into wearing “the wrong colors” to a barbershop.  While Shelley shows off Amirah to all of her liberal friends, Akbar shoves Ezra onto a basketball court.  While Shelley is awkwardly trying to prove that she’s an ally, Akbar is inviting himself to Ezra’s wild Las Vegas bachelor party.  (Akbar is disturbed to discover that Ezra has a “coke guy.”  If this film had been made ten years ago, Ezra would have had a weed guy and it would have been easier to buy the film’s contention that Akbar is being unreasonable.)  Shelley is certainly obnoxious and she fully deserves to get called out for her behavior.  But Akbar is an anti-Semite who peddles the type of conspiracy theories that have been at the center of the alarming rise in recent hate crimes.  Whereas Shelley is clueless, Akbar is actually malicious.  And while that’s a story that one certainly could try to tell, it also makes it a bit difficult to buy the film’s fanciful ending.  The movie ultimately can’t decide if it wants to be a fearless satire of race relations or a feel-good romcom.  The tone of the film switches from scene to scene and Kenya Barris’s direction is so inconsistent that he makes Judd Apatow look like a disciplined filmmaker by comparison.

The cast is full of talent but the characters are largely one-dimensional.  Jonah Hill is undoubtedly a good actor but he’s also nearly 40 years old and, with his full beard, he looks about ten years older, which makes it a bit hard to believe that he would be that concerned with getting the approval of his future in-laws.  At first, a role of Akbar would seem ideal for Eddie Murphy but, with the exception of a scene where Akbar quizzes Ezra on his favorite Jay-Z song in an attempt to trick Ezra into saying the “n-word,” Murphy doesn’t really get to do much other than stand around with a pained expression on his face.  Probably the most interesting performance in the film comes from Mike Epps, who plays Akbar’s brother and who is one of the few characters willing to call everyone out on their hypocrisy.  But, unfortunately, Epps is only in a handful of scenes and the film uses him as more of a dramatic device than a fully rounded character.

As I watched You People, I couldn’t help but think about another film about an interracial wedding, Rachel Getting Married.  That film provided a believable and multi-layered look at two different cultures coming together.  You People, however, can’t quite make up its mind what it believes or what it wants to say and, unfortunately, what it does say is often said with a surprising lack of self-awareness.  At times, it’s so proud of itself that it feels like it almost could have been written by Shelley Cohen.

You People is streaming on Netflix.