Authoress! Authoress!”

Posted on April 15, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the Love Boat takes a dramatic turn.

Episode 7.15 “How Do I Love Thee?/No More Alimony/Authoress! Authoress!”

(Dir by Kim Friedman, originally aired on January 7th, 1984)

As usual, this week’s episode features three stories. Two of them are very silly.

Betty White and Carol Channing play two Broadway veterans who are hoping to interest publisher Cesar Romero in Betty’s autobiography. Cesar is more interested in Carol. Betty and Carol collaborate on a book that is full of sordid lies. Cesar says he’ll publish it because “the hicks in the South” will love it. Carol announces that she is a hick from the South and promptly rips the manuscript in half. Good for her!

Alan Thicke wants his ex-wife, Michelle Phillips, to marry Fred Willard so that he’ll no longer have to pay alimony. However, when Alan discovers that Fred is a womanizer, Alan reconsiders his plans.

These two stories feel very familiar. They’re the type of stories that we’ve seen on many episodes of The Love Boat. They’re saved a bit because of the comedic skills of Fred Willard and Betty White but, in the end, they’re definitely on the silly side of the cruise.

But then you get the third story, which is not silly at all. Laura (Rue McClanahan) boards the ship with her husband, George (Dick Van Patten). Laura is an old friend of Captain Stubing’s and he’s alarmed when he sees that Laura has a black eye. Laura says she simply walked into a door. George laughs and says that Laura is a klutz.

Actually, Laura is being abused by her husband. George’s business is failing. George is jealous of Captain Stubing. George hits Laura in their cabin and it’s a shocking moment because 1) this is The Love Boat and 2) it actually looks like that Van Patten may have accidentally hit McClanahan for real. (Van Patten briefly breaks character, looking shocked, before quickly turning back into the angry George.) Stubing realizes what’s happening and confronts George. By the end of the episode, George is promising to “get some help” but it’s significant that Laura doesn’t leave the ship with him. One gets the feeling that she’s heard that promise before.

At first, it seems strange to have such an serious storyline playing out in-between scenes of Carol Channing and Betty White singing and Fred Willard leering at every woman on the boat but it actually works surprisingly well. The show makes an important point. Even on a fun cruise, abuse can happen. Abuse doesn’t take a vacation. And abusers can be the people you least suspect, like perennial nice guy Dick Van Patten. I have a lot of respect for this episode for dealing with a serious subject and doing it well.

This was an important cruise.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.21 “Till Death Do Us Part”

Posted on April 14, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, a loved one dies.

Episode 3.21 “Till Death Do Us Part”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on April 12th, 1998)

When two robbers invade a high-end clothing store and shoot a security guard, they also accidentally shoot and kill Linda, Victor’s fiancée. In fact, Linda was trying on a wedding dress when she was shot. She was accompanied by Chris. In typical Pacific Blue style, even though Victor is the one who has just lost his fiancée, Chris also gets a chance to tell everyone that it’s also something that she’ll never recover from because she was the one who was actually there when it happened. Chris is so upset that she initially refuses to even change her clothes, even though they’ve been splattered with Linda’s blood. The show seems to think that this makes Chris into a strong character. Personally, I think it makes her someone who is so self-centered that she even has to make the death of someone else’s fiancée all about her. I can only imagine how Victor feels seeing Linda’s blood all over Chris’s shirt.

As for Victor, he goes on a rampage, tearing up Santa Monica until he finds the man who shot Linda. Victor ignores regulations. He breaks rules. He nearly shoots the killer in a parking lot and his partner Cory promises to back him up if he pulls the trigger. In the end, Victor is not a cold-blooded murderer. He allows the killer to be arrested. He tells the killer that he can’t wait to witness his execution. (Good luck, Victor. You’re in California!) But, as the episode ends, it’s mentioned that Internal Affairs is going to want his badge.

(Apparently, that will be dealt with in next week’s episode, which is also the season three finale.)

Watching this episode, I can found myself asking myself if all the other cops in Santa Monica have been fired. I didn’t see anyone other than the bicycle cops investigating the robberies or the shootings. I didn’t see anyone from Homicide looking into Linda’s murder. Instead, the entire episode was full of people trying to look tough while wearing bicycle shorts.

It just can’t be done!

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The Class 1.11 “Weasel Love”

Posted on April 14, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.

This week, Weasel’s found love again. Or has he?

Episode 1.11 “Weasel Love”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 20th, 1993)

Weasel’s online girlfriend, Natalie (Stephanie Dicker), moves to California and enrolls at Bayside. At first, she looks and acts just like Tori Spelling during Tori’s time on the original Saved By The Bell. However, Megan, Vicki, and Lindsay give her a makeover that …. actually, makes her look significantly worse. But everyone at Bayside insists that it makes her look better so Weasel starts to feel insecure. Tommy D, Scott, and Mr. Belding (really?) give Weasel a makeover to team him how to be cool. That coolness goes to Weasel’s head and soon, he and Natalie aren’t speaking.

Uh-oh! Natalie and Weasel are both in the school band! Natalie plays piano. Weasel plays saxophone. (Needless to say, we never actually see Natalie’s hands when she’s playing piano.) How is the band going to win that trip to New York if Natalie and Weasel aren’t capable of performing a duet together?

Well, maybe Tommy can hop on the computer and send Natalie a message “from Weasel” apologizing. Natalie is touched but later, Weasel reveals that he didn’t write the message. But Weasel and Natalie still talk through their differences and the band wins that New York trip!

As for this episode’s B-plot, Tommy D and Scott trick two of the nerd characters into leaving the band so that they can replace them. As I watched Scott and Tommy trick the nerds into thinking that they were losing their hearing, it occurred to me that it takes a lot of charisma to make a schemer likable. Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Mario Lopez had that charisma, which is why the first Saved By The Bell worked despite Zack being a sociopath. Robert Sutherland Telfer and Jonathan Angel on the other hand….

(Actually, in all honesty, Jonathan Angel was likable as Tommy. He had the goofy dumb guy thing down. Telfer, however, didn’t have Gosselaar’s cocky charm. As a result, Scott usually comes across as being more desperate than confident.)

Anyway, this was another dumb episode. There’s no consistency when it comes to how characters like Weasel are portrayed so it’s really had to care about their lives one way or another. This episode, Weasel got a girlfriend. Even though I haven’t seen the remaining season one episodes yet, I can guarantee that she will never be mentioned again.

Finally, the band sounded terrible. Leave them in New York.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.21 “Too Much, Too Late”

Posted on April 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Miami Vice comes to a close.

Episode 5.21 “Too Much, Too Late”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on January 25th, 1990)

Tough NYPD detective Valerie Gordon (Pam Grier) returns to Miami after she learns that her friend Yvonne (CCH Pounder) has become addicted to crack cocaine and has been using her teenage daughter, Lynette (Malinda Williams), to pay her dealer, Swayne (John Toles-Bey). Returning to Miami also allows Valerie to meet up with her former lover, Tubbs. Tubbs is happy to see her again and even starts to think about marriage. When Yvonne turns up dead, Valerie insists that Swayne killed her. However, Crockett isn’t so sure. Eventually, it turns out that Lynette murdered her own mother and that Valerie has been trying to frame Swayne for the crime. Both Swayne and Lynette are arrested. Valerie returns to New York where, she tells Tubbs, she is going to turn in her badge and retire from the police force.

Meanwhile, Switek tries to resist the temptation to start gambling again. He even goes to meetings of Gamblers Anonymous but, when he’s stuck alone in his apartment and dealing with the guilt that he still feels over Zito’s death, Switek finds himself overwhelmed. Soon, he is again placing bets.

This was not intended to be the final episode of Miami Vice. Switek giving into his gambling addiction and Tubbs growing increasingly burned out were all plot points that were obviously designed to lead straight into Freefall. Even Tubbs’s decision to return to New York makes a lot more sense once we know that Valerie is there. However, NBC did not air this episode during the show’s original run because of its subject matter. Yvonne selling her daughter for crack was considered to be too controversial. As such, it didn’t air until the show went into syndication. That’s a shame. This was a strong episode, one that featured the melancholy atmosphere that made Miami Vice so memorable in the first place.

Well, that’s it for Miami Vice. It’s a show that started out strong. The first two seasons were consistently outstanding. The third season was entertaining, even if it was obvious that the show was starting to run on autopilot. The fourth season is where the show lost itself. As for the fifth season, it had its flaws but it was a definite improvement over the fourth season. While it was obvious that Don Johnson was eager to move on, the fifth season still provided enough good episodes that the show managed to redeem itself before it finally ended.

I’m going to miss Miami Vice. Even at its worse, it had style to burn.

(I should mention that the whole reason I started reviewing Miami Vice back in 2023 was because I assumed Ron DeSantis would be elected President in 2024 and that people would naturally be curious about a show set in Florida. Whoops.)

Next week, something new will premiere in this time slot. What will it be? I’ll let you know as soon as I know. For now, let’s just take a moment to remember Crockett, Tubbs, and Elvis.

Song of the Day: Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door by Bob Dylan

Posted on April 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This is a song that means a lot to me.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 2.11 “Don’t Believe The Hype”

Posted on April 12, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015! The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

Degrassi goes there!

Episode 2.11 “Don’t Believe The Hype”

(Dir by Anais Granofsky, originally aired on December 23rd, 2002)

“A hate crime has been committed here,” Snake declares in this episode. He declares it very seriously. In fact, he’s a little bit too serious. His voice and his expression are so grim that the line actually has the opposite effect of what it intended. The same can be said of this episode itself. Degrassi was always political but, up until its final seasons, it was usually smart enough to understand that encouraging audiences to look between the lines was preferable to hitting them over the head. Occasionally, though, this show did give us an episode like this one.

As for the hate crime, it’s the vandalization of a display about Iraq. It’s International Day and Fareeza (Jessica Rose) made the display to inform people about her home country. Fareeza is sure that her display was vandalized by Hazel because, earlier, Hazel give Fareeza a fashion ticket because her hijab was judged to be “terrorist chic.” Hazel also said that Fareeza needed to back off before “Jamaica declared war on Iraq.”

Fareeza replies that Hazel’s last name — Aden — doesn’t sound Jamaican. (It doesn’t? Really?) “You look Somalian,” Fareeza says.

Anyway, it turns out that the displays was vandalized by two unnamed students. But Mr. Raditch still tells Hazel that she committed a hate crime by joking about declaring war on Iraq. At first, Hazel is defensive but then she becomes so overwhelmed with guilt that she admits that she isn’t Jamaican. She actually is Somalian! Of course, I think one could argue that Fareeza committed a hate crime with her “You look Somalian” comment. I mean, talk about stereotyping! It’s like telling me I look Irish just because I have red hair and I’m half-Irish.

(At this point, I should mention that Andea Lewis, who played Hazel, was not Somalian. In fact, in real life, she’s half-Jamaican. But then again, Jessica Rose, who played Fareeza, was not from Iraq.)

Now, needless to say, Hazel being a Somalian refugee is one of those plot points that will hardly ever be mentioned again. And Fareeza will never appear in another episode of Degrassi. Fareeza showed up. She taught everyone a lesson. Having fulfilled her plot obligations, her character is never seen again.

Hazel later gives a presentation about her Somalian heritage and the school loves her. (We don’t see the presentation that Fareeza gave about Iraq. Sorry, Fareeza, this is Hazel’s episode.) Meanwhile, JT’s friends discover that he’s good at sewing and everyone, except for Liberty, makes fun of him. It’s easy to roll one’s eyes at Liberty’s crush on JT until you remember that JT is destined to end dying on Liberty’s birthday. But that’s far in the future. For now, JT is an adorable scamp who has no idea that he’s going to be literally stabbed in the back.

There’s nothing subtle about this episode and the end result is that it feels almost more like a parody of Degrassi than anything else.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 5.5. “ME, Myself, and I”

Posted on April 12, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, the show gets a new co-star.

Episode 5.5 “M.E., Myself, and I”

(Dir by Michael Fields, originally aired on November 1st, 1996)

There’s a new medical examiner in town! Julianna Cox (Michelle Forbes) drinks too much, smokes too much, and she takes her job personally! She drives too fast! She speaks her mind! She fires the incompetent and the corrupt! She shows up at crime scenes! Lewis moves a body before Dr. Cox arrives. She tells him to never do it again!

She’s a new regular and this entire episode is essentially dedicated to hitting us over the head with the fact that she’s awesome. And she is awesome and she’s also played by Michelle Forbes so I’m sure she will be a worthwhile addition to the show’s ensemble. That said, this episode sometimes seem to be so desperate to convince us that we’re going to love Dr. Cox that it forgets to craft a compelling story. She helps Bayliss to solve a case. Bayliss likes her. Well, Bayliss like everyone. Indeed, Bayliss gets so excited whenever an attractive woman appears that he sometimes seems like a cartoon wolf, with his eyes popping out of his head.

In other news, Kellerman is still under investigation and he’s not taking it well. The great Edward Herrmann played the officious FBI agent who took over the Box and spent the episode asking the other Homicide detectives if Kellerman seemed to be corrupt. “How did Detective Kellerman afford a new boat?” Actually, how did Detective Kellerman afford a new boat?

Pembleton went off his blood pressure meds so he could make love to his wife on his anniversary. Pembleton — how are you going to recover from this stroke if you keep finding excuses not to take your medication?

Finally, Brodie got kicked out of Bayliss’s apartment so he moved in with Lewis. Brodie praised a black velvet painting of Teddy Pendergrass, leading to a fight between Lewis and his wife. It was an amusing scene. Brodie, you stand accused of murdering a marriage! The jury finds you guilty!

It was an okay episode. Homicide is one of those shows that is enjoyable watch because of the ensemble and Michelle Forbes seems like she’ll be a good addition. When you’ve got a cast this good, you can get away with an episode where not that much really happens.

Song of the Day: In A Gadda Da Vida by Iron Butterfly

Posted on April 12, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

If you’ve seen 1986’s Manhunter, it’s hard not to think of this song when it comes to appreciating the great Tom Noonan.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 4/5/26 — 4/11/26

Posted on April 12, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Diff’rent Strokes (Tubi)

It wasn’t by choice! On Wednesday, I watched a movie on Tubi and then Tubi sent me to an episode of Diff’rent Strokes before I could stop it. Mr. Drummond’s friend, Larry (McClean Stevenson), visited from Oregon. Drummond got Larry a chance to audition for his own talk show. Larry’s daughter (Kim Richards) didn’t want to move and, for some reason, she blamed the whole thing on Gary Coleman.

Fridays (Prime)

This was a comedy sketch show from the early 80s. I watched the premiere episode on Saturday morning. There were a lot of familiar faces in the cast, including a dark-haired Larry David. Unfortunately, none of the skits were really that funny.

The Greatest Event In Television History (Prime)

In this Adult Swim series, Adam Scott recreated the opening credits of classic television shows and destroyed his life in the process. Jeff Probst hosted. Jon Hamm guest-starred and “died” shortly after filming his scenes. (Don’t worry, his ghost later appeared.) Paul Rudd slept with Adam’s wife. Host Jeff Probst said, “Adam’s life is now ruined.” Billy Joel played piano. I watched all four episodes on Tuesday and it was funnier than it had any right to be.

Jesus of Nazareth (Tubi)

On Easter, I binged this seven hour miniseries from 1977. Written by Anthony Burgess and directed by Franco Zeffirelli, this gorgeously produced production took the idea of having an all-star cast quite literally. Even the minor roles were played by familiar faces, everyone from Donald Pleasence to Rod Steiger to Ernest Borgnine to James Earl Jones, Ian McShane, Laurence Olivier, Stacy Keach, Christopher Plummer, and Michael York. Olivia Hussey played the Virgin Mary. Anne Bancroft played the Magdalene. It was very well-done and surprisingly moving.

The Masters (Prime and Paramount+)

I watched a bit of the Masters this week. On Saturday, when it was storming outside and I had just returned from attending a memorial service for an old friend of my father’s, it provided a nice distraction.

Nero Wolfe (A&E)

I watched the final two episodes of Nero Wolfe on Tuesday. It was a truly entertaining show, featuring great work from Maury Chaykin and Timothy Hutton. It’s a shame that it was canceled after only two seasons.

Sledgehammer (Prime)

This was an 80s sitcom, featuring David Rasche as an out-of-control cop. I watched two episodes on Friday and it was actually pretty funny. Rasche talked to his gun and made fun of liberals. I enjoyed it.

I also watched and reviewed:

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.17 “Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind”

Posted on April 11, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime and Tubi!

This week, we have perhaps the dumbest 30 minutes of television ever.

Episode 1.17 “Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 23rd, 1990)

After breaking the school’s video camera, Zack and the gang need to come up with some money and they need to do it quickly! They see that a tabloid will pay money for pictures of an alien so they send in a picture of Screech. Thompson (Sean Masterson) turns up at the school to investigate the claim. Screech pretends to be an alien. Uh-oh, Thompson’s from the government and he wants to dissect Screech!

This is without a doubt the stupidest episode of Saved By The Bell that I’ve ever seen and that’s saying something. Everyone in the school — including freaking Mr. Belding — puts on a mask to show Thompson that he’s been fooled.

That’s not very nice, Thompson says.

Neither is telling a bunch of kids you’re from a magazine, Belding replies.

What does that even mean, Belding?

Seriously, I try to cut this show some slack but even when I was an occasionally stoned college student watching Saved By The Bell so I’d have something other to do other than study, I still groaned whenever this episode came on.

Did they ever fix the video camera? They should have let the government have Screech.