Remember, back in 2014, when I reviewed a horror film called A House Is Not A Home? Well, if you don’t, I’ll remind you what I thought about the film in a second. But first, I wanted to let you know that A House Is Not A Home not only has a brand new and super intense poster (seen above) but it also has a release date!
Following a limited theatrical run, MVD Entertainment Group will be releasing A House Is Not A Home on DVD and digital platforms on September 27th! Directed by Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray and starring Bill Cobbs, Richard Grieco, Eddie Steeples, Aurora Perrineau, Diahnna Nicole Baxter, Gerald Webb, and Melvin Gregg, A House Is Not A Home premiered at the Burbank International Film Festival, where it picked up the award for Best Horror Feature!
You can order a copy of A House Is Not A Home from amazon or at the MVD Shop.
You can check out my review by clicking here. If you don’t have time to check out my review, I’ll give you the short version: A House Is Not A Home is an atmospheric, well-acted, and entertaining horror film. It’s an effectively creepy film and features a genuinely interesting exorcism scene. As I said at the end of my review, the film’s dream-like and horrific atmosphere compares to the best of Lucio Fulci.
Finally, to quote directly from my review:
“A House Is Not A Home is one of the few non-comedic films that I’ve seen recently that featured an almost entirely African-American cast. That’s really saying something when you consider that I literally watch hundreds of films a year. At a time when mainstream filmmaking (and the horror genre in particular) still seems to be struggling to break free from racial stereotyping, A House Is Not A Home is definitely a step in the right direction.”
I wrote that two years ago. I’m glad to see that now everyone else will have a chance to discover A House Is Not A Home for themselves!
Last Sunday night saw the premiere of Sharknado: The Fourth Awakens!
For the fourth year in a row, SyFy and the Asylum allowed us to take a peak into the shark-filled life of Finn Shepherd (Ian Ziering) and his family. Also for the fourth year in a row, the premiere of the latest Sharknado film was practically a national holiday. Long before the film even started, #Sharknado4 was the number one trending topic on twitter. I actually live tweeted the film twice, once for the east coast and then a second time for my friends on the west coast. That’s right — I sent out over 300 tweets about Sharknado 4 on Sunday and I’ve never been more proud of myself. Live tweeting the latest Sharknado is a lot like wishing someone you barely know a happy birthday on Facebook. It’s a part of the ritual of social media. It’s like the Internet’s version of a Thanksgiving parade or a 4th of July fireworks show.
After four films, it’s easy to forget that Sharknado started out like almost any other SyFy film. The first Sharknado film featured no celebrity cameos and very little of the self-referential comedy that has come to define the series. In fact, I didn’t even see Sharknado when it first aired because it premiered, opposite a Big Brother eviction show, on a Thursday. It was only on Friday morning that I discovered that Sharknado had become a phenomena, largely due to the fact that celebrities like Mia Farrow had decided to live tweet it.
After all this time, it’s easy to forget just how much we veteran live tweeters resented that attention that was paid to celebrities like Farrow, the majority of whom were virgins as far as live tweeting SyFy was concerned. (The fact that the majority of Farrow’s Sharknado tweets weren’t that good only added insult to injury.) The media acted as if those celebs had invented live tweeting. They also acted as if Sharknado was the first entertaining and over-the-top film to ever premiere on SyFy. Among those of us who had been live tweeting SyFy film long before the premiere of Sharknado and who had loved pre-Sharknado movies like Jersey Shore Shark Attack and Shark Week, there was more than a little resentment.
But you know what? I watched Sharknado the following Saturday and I had a great time live tweeting it. The next year, I made sure to watch and live tweet Sharknado 2 the night that it premiered. The same was true of Sharknado 3 and I even ended up casting a vote on the question of whether or not April should survive that film’s cliffhanger. With its cheerful absurdity and determination to continually top the glorious absurdity of each previous entry, the Sharknado franchise won me over. In fact, the franchise won over not only me but hundreds of thousands of other viewers. Sharknado has become very much a part of our culture.
As I mentioned above, Sharknado 3 ended with a cliffhanger and that alone indicates just how big a deal Sharknado has become. Sharknado 2 was made because the first Sharknado was an unexpected success. Sharknado 3 followed because Sharknado 2 had proven that the first one was not a fluke and that there was an audience for these films. However, by the time 3 was in production, there was never any doubt that there would be a Sharknado 4. Sharknado 4 also ends with a rather abrupt cliffhanger, leaving little doubt that there will be a Sharknado 5. At this point, not doing another Sharknado film would be the same as canceling summer all together.
As for what Sharknado 4 was about … well, does it really matter? At this point, we know that there’s going to be another sharknado and that Finn is just going to happen to be nearby when it strikes. We know that landmarks will be destroyed (in this case, Las Vegas is thoroughly ravaged during the film’s first 30 minutes). We know that Al Roker will show up and say stuff like, “There are reports of a Lightningnado near Kansas…” (Both Roker and Natalie Morales apparently survived being attacked by sharks during Sharknado 3, though Morales does have an eyepatch in 4. Matt Lauer is nowhere to be seen so I assume he wasn’t as lucky.) We know that celebrities will appear in a cameos and that the majority of them will be promptly eaten by a flying shark. We know that Finn and his family will eventually have to use a chainsaw to battle the sharks and we know that at least one person will be rescued from the inside of a shark’s stomach.
We don’t really watch a movie a like Sharknado 4 for the plot. We watch it for the communal experience. Last Sunday was Sharknado Day and it seems like the entire world was on twitter, talking about Sharknado 4. The majority of us weren’t tweeting about the plot. Instead, we were acknowledging that we had picked up on the in-jokes and the references to other films. When April (Tara Reid) showed up alive and was revealed to now by a cyborg, many references were made to the Terminator — both in the film and on twitter. When we learned that David Hasselhoff has been rescued from the moon, it was time to make jokes about The Martian. When it was announced that a sharknado was headed towards Kansas, I made a Wizard of Oz joke on twitter. Three minutes later, in the movie, a house fell on a character who could charitably be called a witch. We briefly got a shot of her feet sticking out from under the house.
(I should also mention that Gary Busey shows up, playing a mad scientist. The fact that Sharknado 4 could find prominent roles for both the Hoff and the Busey says a lot about what makes this franchise so endearingly entertaining. Considering that Penn Jillette was in Sharknado 3, you have to wonder if the franchise will eventually feature every single person who appeared on The Celebrity Apprentice. Who doesn’t want to see a flying shark bite off Piers Morgan’s head?)
(Actually, as long as I’m mentioning stuff — here’s my favorite inside joke. Finn and his family are driving through North Texas. Just judging by the hills and the mountains in the background, this scene was not actually filmed in Texas. Anyway, they stop off at a general store where Dog Chapman — the bounty hunter — sells them a chainsaw. When the sharks attack Texas, a chainsaw-wielding army is waiting for them. Among that army is Caroline Williams, who starred in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. On the one hand, everyone viewing will immediately get the chainsaw joke. But only the dedicated horror fans will truly understand why it’s so brilliant that Caroline Williams was credited as playing a character named Stretch.)
At this point, the Sharknado franchise is no longer just a series of films. Instead, it’s a deliriously over-the-top experience. In these times of partisan rancor, it briefly did not matter if you were a liberal or a conservative, a Democrat or a Republican. For two hours on Sunday night, if you were watching and live tweeting Sharkando 4, you were a part of a gigantic family, a community of people with an appreciation for over the top silliness. Sharknado 4 brought this country together.
That’s not bad for a film about a bunch of flying sharks.
If you missed Sharknado 4 the first time, catch it when it’s shown again. Just make sure that you watch it with a friend, someone who you can trust to make you laugh.
Hi, everyone! Well, I just watched Sharknado 4 twice and I live tweeted it both times! You can expect to see my review either tomorrow or on Tuesday, depending on how well I recover from tonight.
But, until then, it’s time to share this week’s final dance scene that I love. This wonderfully sensual scene comes from the 1955 best picture nominee, Picnic! Check out this wonderfully sensuous scene with William Holden and Kim Novak!
I hope everyone’s had a great July and I hope that August will be even better!
Love ya!
(Oh, at around the 18 second mark, the picture appears to freeze but don’t panic. That’s a glitch in the upload and it only lasts for a second or two.)
So, I just finished watching Thank God, It’s Friday, a movie from 1978. It’s an episodic comedy, one that follows a group of genuinely unlikable characters as they all gather in one genuinely unlikable location and proceed to have some fairly generic experiences.
For example, there’s the married couple and the husband needs to loosen up. There’s the DJ who is going to lose his job if he can’t deliver the big stars that he’s promised. There’s the short, violent guy who is upset because he’s been set up on a date with a tall woman. There’s the dental hygienist who comes across like she’s desperately trying to convince everyone that she’s eccentric when she’s really just boring. (We all know the type.) There’s the teenager girls who try to sneak into the club, despite being underage. There’s the two dorky guys who are looking for love. There’s the two dorky girls who are looking for love.
In fact, everyone in the movie is looking for love! Except for Jeff Goldblum! He just wants to get laid. He manages the club where everyone has gathered on this particular Friday. He’s a womanizer. We can tell because he wears a red jacket and his shirt is half-buttoned. Goldblum decides that he wants to break up the married couple. Boo! Hiss! But wait a minute — neither the husband nor the wife are likable or interesting. Go, Jeff, go! BREAK UP THAT BORINGASS MARRIAGE!
Oh! And Nicole (Donna Summer) is wandering around the club too. She wants a chance to perform but the DJ refuses to let her. So, eventually, she just grabs a microphone and she starts to sing. Luckily, the song she sings is Last Dance and, by singing it, she gives everyone an excuse to go home. If you’ve ever been to a karaoke night, you know that, as soon as a drunk sings Last Dance, it’s time to pay the bill and get the Hell out of there.
Last Dance was apparently written specifically for Thank God, It’s Friday. Or maybe Thank God, It’s Friday was written specifically for Last Dance, who knows? What we do know is that Last Dance won the Oscar for Best Original Song. That’s right — Thank God, It’s Friday is an Oscar winner and therefore, will always be enshrined with fellow Oscar winners like Crash, Titanic, and SPECTRE.
(Which songs did Thank God, It’s Friday beat? It defeated a song from Grease, which is a good thing because Grease is even more annoying than Thank God, It’s Friday. That’s right, I said it. And you know it’s true.)
Anyway, Thank God, It’s Friday is a really bad movie, one that is full of bad writing, bad jokes, bad performances, and indifferent direction. It’s tempting to say that the music was really good but actually, we don’t hear much of the music. The movie is often more concerned about what’s happening in the club’s parking lot than in what is happening (and being heard) on the inside. We may not hear much music but we do get to see some pretty icky racial stereotyping and who would guess that a movie about disco would be so homophobic?
(We don’t see any cocaine, though I’m sure you could probably hear the key grip and the gaffer snorting a line off-camera if you listened closely enough. A lot of the cast looked pretty wired.)
ANYWAY — here’s the important thing about Thank God, It’s Friday. Occasionally, I’ll watch a movie like Dazed and Confused or Boogie Nights or Saturday Night Fever and I’ll get jealous because I know that I’ll never get a chance to experience the 70s first hand. Fortunately, something like Thank God, It’s Friday will always be around to reassure me, “No, Lisa. The 70s sucked!”
Thank God, it’s Friday?
No, thank God the movie’s over.
“Is it Friday yet!?”
Actually, you know what? I can’t end this review without sharing this film’s trailer:
Tonight, I have two dance scenes to share with you. The first one was recommended to me by fellow TSL contributor, Valerie Troutman. It comes from 1985’s Girls Just Wanna Have Fun! I haven’t seen this film but I enjoy this scene. It pretty much just screams “1985,” doesn’t it?
(And who wouldn’t want to spend all day watching Dance TV?)
I’ve shared this second scene before but, since we’re on kind of an 80s theme tonight, I simply had to share it again. From 1989’s Teen Witch, here’s “Top That!”
Tonight, I am going to share two dance scenes that I love!
Why?
Because I love dancing and, even more importantly, I love our wonderful readers!
Our first scene was suggested to me by Valerie Troutman. It’s from a 1984 film called Reckless. I haven’t even seen this film but I liked this little scene. The dancing starts at 2:20 and let’s just say that you’ll never look at Aidan Quinn the same way again.
Our second scene is one that I’ve shared before but it’s just such an odd little scene that I feel like I have to share it again. Who knows — maybe someone out there is depressed and could use some cheering up. In this scene from 1991’s Zandalee, Judge Reinhold and Nicolas Cage share a dance while Erika Anderson watches.
Last night, while most you were probably watching the Democratic National Convention, my friends, the Snarkalecs, and I were watching and live tweeting a movie on SyFy called Ozark Sharks.
And you know what?
I’m glad that I was because, seriously, Ozark Sharks was a tremendous amount of fun. I’m also proud that we managed to get Ozark Sharks trending on twitter, if just because that caused a lot of confusion among the normals, many of whom seemed to assume that it was some sort of politically themed hashtag. For example:
Well, with all apologies to the political junkies of twitter, that’s not what Ozark Sharks is about.
Instead, Ozark Sharks is probably the best film that will ever be made about sharks invading a river in Arkansas. Now, if you’re asking yourself: “Why are there sharks in Arkansas?,” you’re not doing this right. The why is not important. What is important is that there are six hungry sharks in the water and they’re willing to eat anyone that they come across. Literally no one is safe. Not your boyfriend. Not your best friends. Not the guy who you were thinking of going out with in case you ever broke up with your boyfriend. Not even lovable older tourists. Ozark sharks will eat anyone.
(And they’re messy eaters, the type that regularly leave legs and arms floating in the water.)
Making things even worse, the river leads to a lake and the citizens of a nearby town are planning on shooting of fireworks at that very same lake. They’re hanging out, drinking beer, listening to country music, hanging out on the docks, and floating around in inner tubes. And little do they realize that sharks are heading straight towards them!
Luckily, hope is not lost. There’s a family that’s come down to the lake for the weekend. Will they be able to stop the sharks or are they all destined to end up as shark bait? Well, let’s consider who they are:
First off, there’s Diane (Laura Cayouette, who many of you will recognize as Leonardo DiCaprio’s sister in Django Unchained) and her husband, Rick (Michael Papajohn). I liked Diane and Rick. They were a likable couple and Cayouette and Papajohn had a very believable chemistry. You actually believed that they were married and in love and I cannot begin to say how important that was to the overall effectiveness of the film. They both committed to the roles and, as a result, Diane and Rick came across like the type of people you would want as your neighbors.
Their oldest child is named Harrison (Dave Davis). Harrison is single and could really use a girlfriend. Fortunately, he meets Dawn (Ashton Leigh), who is stranded on a rock in the middle of the river and in a pretty emotional state because she’s just seen all of her friends (including her boyfriend) eaten by a shark. Fortunately, for Harrison, that means that she is now single.
Harrison’s younger sister is named Molly (Allisyn Ashley Arm). I think the general consensus on twitter was that, by the end of the movie, Molly was everyone’s favorite character. When Molly first appears, she is defiantly insisting on reading a book and refusing to get into the river. Speaking as someone who ruined many a family vacation by doing the same thing, I immediately related to Molly. If Molly had spent the whole movie just reading her book and maintaining her indifferent attitude, she already would have already been the best character in the film. But, instead, Molly quickly emerged as the family badass, which makes her even cooler. I don’t want to spoil the film but let’s just say that if your state is ever invaded by sharks, you’re going to want Molly on your side.
Curtis (Ross Britz) is Molly’s wonderfully goofy boyfriend. More than anything, you have to love Curtis because he seems to genuinely be overjoyed to have a chance to fight sharks. Fortunately, Jones (Thomas Francis Murphy) is also around to teach Molly and Curtis how to deal with sharks. (Jones even gets to utter a line that serves an homage to Jaws. I won’t spoil it, though, because it was a fun moment that you should experience on your own.) Jones owns a bait shop but he’s also an expert in how to kill sharks and he’s got a storeroom full of all sorts of weapons. He even has a harpoon cannon, which he claims is only used to fight sharks though I suspect that it has other uses as well.
"Why do you need a harpoon cannon?" "Yankees."#OzarkSharks
— Lisa Marie Bowman (@LisaMarieBowman) July 29, 2016
(There’s another member of the family as well, but I fear that if I talk too much about her, I’ll be spoiling one of the film’s more surprising moment. So, I’ll just say that Sharon Garrison did a great job playing her!)
So, if it’s not clear already, I absolutely loved Ozark Sharks. This is one of those lovingly crafted and unabashedly entertaining films that epitomizes everything that we love about old B-movies and modern day SyFy films. This is a genuinely fun and entertaining movie, one that is meant to be watched by you and a group of your snarkiest friends.
On a personal note, I appreciate the fact that this movie got the Ozarks right. When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time in Arkansas. My grandmother lived in Ft. Smith and my family lived in Fouke (home of the Fouke Monster) for a year. I still visit Arkansas fairly frequently. For the record, of course, Ozark Sharks was actually filmed in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. But no matter! Regardless of where it was actually filmed, Ozark Sharks gets Arkansas right. It captures the atmosphere, the accents, and the attitudes of the Ozarks and then it throws in a nice little spin by adding sharks.
Ozark Sharks was directed by Misty Talley, who also directed last year’s Zombie Shark. Ozark Sharks shares much of the same crew as Zombie Shark (and a few of the same cast members as well, including Laura Cayouette and Becky Andrews) and they all should be as proud of their work on both films. As opposed to the rather dark Zombie Shark, Ozark Sharks is a rather light-hearted film. (Though there is one death, towards the end of the film, that definitely caught everyone watching it by surprise and got us all feeling a little emotional.) Last year, I announced that Zombie Shark was the best of that year’s SyFy original films. I think the same may very well prove to be true of Ozark Sharks.
Excluding Sunday’s premiere of Sharknado 4, Ozark Sharks was the final original film of SyFy’s Shark week. (For those interested, I’m planning on live tweeting the Hell out of Sharknado 4 and I’ll be doing not just an east coast live tweet but a second live tweet with my friends on the west coast as well!) Below, I’ve ranked them all five of the Shark week premieres in order, with number 1 being my favorite.
(Personally, I liked all five of the premieres so being ranked fifth on this list should not be taken as a criticism.)
Thank you, SyFy, for another great shark week! And, if you missed any of these premieres, keep an eye out because SyFy will probably repeat most of them during this weekend!
