4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films is just what it says it is, 4 (or more) shots from 4 (or more) of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films lets the visuals do the talking.
Today, on Jean-Paul Belmondo’s birthday, we pay tribute to French cinema! It’s time for….
4 Shots From 4 French Film
The 400 Blows (1959, dir by François Truffaut, DP: Henri Decae)
Breathless (1960, dir by Jean-Luc Godard, DP: Raoul Coutard)
The Iron Rose (1973, dir by Jean Rollin)
The Girl With A Bracelet (2020, dir by Stéphane Demoustier, DP: Sylvain Verdet)
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.
Uh-oh. This episode features OJ Simpson doing the real acting.
Episode 3.9 “Call For The Hall”
(Directed by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on November 4th, 1987)
TD Parker (played by OJ Simpson) has a lot to deal with this week!
The team’s running back has been injured. Buffalo is willing to trade their running back in return for Bubba Kincaid! Nobody wants to say goodbye to Bubba. He’s the heart of the team. He’s the team “poobah,” which means that he gets to wear a stupid horned helmet whenever he’s at that team bar. But the Bulls need a running back. TD is the one who has to tell Bubba that he’s been traded. Jethro is named the new team poobah. Bubba’s wife is not happy about moving to Buffalo because it’s too cold up north. Fortunately, it turns out that Buffalo’s running back has also been injured and the trade is canceled. Bubba is staying!
TD has also been voted into the football hall of fame. Should he take his wife and son to the ceremony or should he bring his mistress? TD can’t decide, even though it seems like kind of an obvious decision. Still, TD has to go to the team owner for advice and he is shocked when she reveals that she and everyone else know about TD’s new relationship.
Sorry, TD — everyone knows!
The team owner says that he should probably bring his wife, if just for the sake of appearances. TD then plays basketball with his son and apologizes for not being a better father. This leads to a line of dialogue that so totally epitomizes how much times have changed that it really should be put in a museum.
OJ Simpson apologizes for not being more like Bill Cosby. I think that pretty much sums up this show’s entire third season.
In the end, TD does not take his mistress to the Hall of Fame. But it doesn’t appear that his family attends either. TD gives a speech, thanking his wife and son. Awwww.
This episode features a lot of OJ Simpson acting. As an actor, OJ was mild, bland, and likable. He delivered his lines smoothly but with little sincerity. Of course, nowadays, it’s impossible to listen to him speak without searching for a hidden meaning between the lines. As I watched this episode, I found myself thinking, “Do not make him mad, do not make him mad….”
There was one other storyline in this episode. Dr. Death and Mad Dog stole Coach Grier’s pet mouse. The mouse died. Dr. Death and Mad Dog had to run up and down the stadium stairs as a punishment. The laugh track insists that all of this is funny but I had to disagree. Killing pets is never a good look.
This episode was a lot like OJ’s acting — mild and bland. Unlike OJ, it won’t be getting voted into the Hall of Fame anytime soon.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
Come aboard, we’re expecting you….
Episode 7.14 “The Last Case/Looking for Mr. Wilson/Love on Strike”
(Dir by Richard A. Wells, originally aired on December 17th, 1983)
This week, an old high school friend of Julie’s is on the cruise. Whenever anyone from Julie’s past shows up, it means drama. Five years ago, when Jan Maddox (Jeanine Wilson) told her boyfriend, Michael, that she was pregnant, he ran out on her. Jan lied to her father, the rigid Colonel Maddox (Claude Akins), and told him that she and Michael had gotten married. For five years, Jan has been telling her father that she’s married. When Colonel Maddox boards the ship and meets his grandson Richie (R.J. Williams) for the first time, Jan continues to lie. She says that Michael got called away on business.
However, when Jan meets a charming single passenger (Tony Dow) and starts to fall for him, she decides to tell her father the truth.
“My grandson is illegitimate?” Maddox says, in a tone more worthy of 1883 than 1983.
Colonel Maddox says that he never wants to see his daughter or his grandson again. Seriously? Okay, good riddance. Colonel Maddox is a terrible person and Jan seems to be doing fine without him. However, Julie mentions to Maddox that Michael walked out on Jan and now the Colonel is doing the same thing. And then Richie tracks him down and yells, “You’re a mean old man and I hate you!” Colonel Maddox sees the error of his ways and that magically fixes everything. Jan forgives him. Richie forgives him. I would not have forgiven him. Then again, I also wouldn’t have lied about being married in the first place.
While this is going on, Jenny (Didi Conn) boards the ship and spends the cruise harassing her ex-boyfriend (Grant Goodeve) and his new girlfriend (Wendy Schaal). Jenny boards with two signs, each declaring that her ex is a louse. She follows him around the ship, chanting about what a louse he is. When she sees him dancing with his new girlfriend, she grabs a microphone and starts to talk about him to all the other passengers. Jenny probably should have been taken into custody and kicked off the boat at the next port-of-call. Instead, everyone acts as if Jenny’s actions are cute. It’s a weird story.
Finally, a mysterious woman known as the Contessa has disappeared from her cabin. Stubing convinces an old friend, retired detective Manfred Benusse (John Hillerman), to investigate. (I would think that the Captain would be required — by law and company policy — to report a missing passenger as soon as it was discovered that she was missing but whatever.) It turns out that there never was a Contessa. The whole thing was a set up, engineered by Benusse’s secretary, Liliane Pendergrast (Allyn Ann McLerie). Lillian didn’t want Benusse to retire and she thought that, if she gave him an unsolvable case, he would change his mind and I presume spend the rest of his days searching for a non-existent human being. I’m not sure how that would have been a good thing but, once Benusse figures it all out, he falls in love with Ms. Pendergrast. When you consider the fact that he could have easily been fired if Benusse hadn’t figured out what his secretary was doing, the Captain is surprisingly forgiving.
This was a really weird episode but the detective storyline was kind of charming in its nonsensical way. Hillerman did such a good job as the detective that it made up for the fact that the other two stories were kind of annoying. The end result was a pleasant cruise.
Today would have been the 84th birthday of special effects maestro, Douglas Trumbull.
Today’s scene that I love come from 1968’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. The famous stargate sequence was designed by Trumbull and it remains one of the most influential science fiction moments of all time. In one of their greatest oversights, the Academy neglected to include Trumbull when they nominated the film for its special effects. As a result, the Oscar only went to Stanley Kubrick. Trumbull was not happy about that and, sadly, Kubrick and Trumbull did not speak to each other for years afterwards.
Despite not being included in the nomination, Douglas Trumbull’s work has stood the test of time.
4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films is just what it says it is, 4 (or more) shots from 4 (or more) of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films lets the visuals do the talking.
With the official Cannes line-up due to be announced tomorrow, it only seems right to highlight a few American films that have previously won the Palme d’Or. It’s time for….
4 Shots From 4 Films That Won At Cannes
Wild At Heart (1990, dir by David Lynch, DP: Frederick Elmes)
Barton Fink (1991, dir by the Coen Brothers, DP: Roger Deakins)
Pulp Fiction (1994, dir by Quentin Tarantino, DP: Andrzej Sekuła)
Tree of Life (2011, dir by Terrence Malick, DP: Emmanuel Lubezki)
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
This week, infedility is in the air.
Episode 3.20 “With This Ring”
(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on April 5th, 1998)
When Cory and Victor find a dead man on the beach, all of the evidence seems to indicate that he was killed as a result of an extramarital affair. His widow previously hired a detective agency to test his fidelity. His killer forced his own wedding ring down his throat. Someone is killing cheaters.
So, of course, Palermo has Cory and Victor go undercover as a married couple.
This isn’t the first episode of Pacific Blue to feature the bike cops going undercover. It’s actually something that has happened fairly frequently during the third season. On the one hand, it gets the characters off of those stupid bicycles. On the other hand, why would a bunch of bike cops be investigating crimes? Bicycle cops are like any other uniformed cop. Their job is to keep general order, issue tickets, and secure crime scenes until the actual detectives can show up. The bicycle cops are police officers but they’re not detectives. At least, that’s the way it works in the real world. In the world of Pacific Blue, the Malibu PD apparently doesn’t have a plainclothes department and all of the work is done by the same 5 bicycle cops.
While Cory and Victor go undercover, TC tries to deal with the fact that his parents are splitting up, He really struggles with the news of their upcoming divorce. TC is also in his mid-30s. Once you’re closer to 40 than 30, you should be able to handle your parents splitting up with a modicum of maturity. The only good thing about this storyline is that wonderful Andy Buckley made one of his far-too infrequent appearances as TC’s older brother.
This episode ended with TC and Chris promising each other that, in 35 years, they would still be together. Those will probably be the 35 most boring years of anyone’s lives.
This was another forgettable episode. At least there’s only two episodes left this season. And starting with season 4, Mario Lopez arrives as a new member of Pacific Blue! It can’t happen soon enough.
In 2023’s Megalodon: The Frenzy, the giant shark that keeps coming back …. well, it comes back again! Actually, there’s more than one giant shark this time. The ocean is not safe, not for tourists, not for beach partiers, not for scientists, not even for the Marines!
Fortunately, Lt. Commander Sharp (Eric Roberts) is in command of a battleship and he’s constantly encouraging his Marines to be prepared to sacrifice everything to stop the giant sharks. While scientist Rylie Clark (Caroline Williams) attempts to figure out how to stop the sharks, Sharp barks out order to his crew. His crew replies with “Oorah!” I would have to check the official records to know for sure but there’s a distinct chance that this movie set the record for the most use of “oorah” over an 82 minute run time.
The true stars of the film are the giant sharks, of course. That said, it’s nice to see Eric Roberts playing a good guy for once. Of course, Eric does seem a little advanced in years to still be on active duty. The mandatory retirement age for a flag officer is usually 64 but retirement can be deferred until 68 by Presidential order. Eric Roberts was around 67 years old when he filmed this so I guess it pays to have a friend in Washington. Well, no matter. Eric gave his orders with authority and rallied his men and probably had the longest hair that you’re ever likely to see on an officer.
As for the sharks, they’re really big and they jump out of the water and eat people. This is an Asylum film and the Asylum has always understood what people want when it comes to giant sharks. Don’t take this film seriously and you’ll be fine.
Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.
It’s time for the annual school swap meet!
Episode 1.10 “Swap Meet”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 13, 1993)
It’s time for the Swap Meet, the annual Bayside tradition that has never been mentioned before this week’s episode. All of the students — and Mr. Belding — go to the gym to sell the old stuff that they don’t need anymore. Does anyone in this school actually go to class?
Weasel, Scott, and Tommy D. have their own table, where they are apparently selling random things from Weasel’s garage. Scott desperately needs some money so that he can take Rachel Meyers (Sarah Lancaster, who would become a regular starting with season 2) to the Janet Jackson concert. Scott is not happy when Weasel takes the ten dollars that Scott and Tommy D have made at the table and spends it all on comic books. Fortunately, one of those comic books turns out to be Defender Dog #59, the one with the “famous misprint!” Scott and Weasel go to call the comic book shop to find out how much the comic book is worth. “It’s worth 600 raviolis!” Weasel announces. Huh? Who talks like that?
While Scott and Weasel are dancing in the hallway, Tommy D sells the comic book for nine dollars to Marv and Harv Dorkman (played by Grant Gelt and Karl Michael Maschek).
Marv and Harv, as you guessed, are two of Saved By The Bell‘s stereotypical nerd characters. They refuse to sell the comic book back to Scott. When Scott realizes that Marv and Harv have crushes on Megan and Vicki, he convinces Megan and Vicki to go to the movies with them and to lie about loving comic books. Megan and Vicki think that, by doing this, they’ll get the Defender Dog comic book. Instead, Marv and Harv sell the comic book to Crunch Grabowski (Ryan Hurst) and then use the money that they made to buy necklaces for Megan and Vicki, which Megan and Vicki promptly reject.
“I can’t believe this,” Scott says.
“Getting that comic book back is harder than Chinese square dancing,” says Weasel.
It’s hurting my head just to recap this.
Anyway, Crunch doesn’t want to sell the comic book so Scott convinces Crunch to come to the local comic book shop, which is owned by Honolulu Harry. So, of course, Weasel puts on an old man mask and pretends to be Honolulu Harry and Tommy D. pretends to be a nerd who wants to sell a copy of Defender Dog so that Weasel (as Harry) to tell him that no one likes Defender Dog. Crunch cannot handle being seen with an unpopular super hero so he trades Defender Dog for Lou the Ant. Scott gets the comic book but then the real Honolulu Harry shows up and refuses to buy it from him because he caught Tommy D. in the back of the comic book shop. “You touched my comics!” Harry yells. What are people supposed to do in a comic book store?
Poor Scott! Well, no, not really. There’s a hundred smart things that Scott could have done during this episode and he didn’t do a single one of them. He deserves what he gets….
Oh wait, the Dorkmans spent a lot of money to get four tickets to the Janet Jackson concert. Megan tells them that she and Vicki would love to go to the concert with them. Megan says she’ll hold on to two of the tickets and that she and Vicki will meet them at the concert. The Dorkmans give the tickets to Megan and Vicki and then Megan and Vicki give them to Scott so he can take Rachel to the concert.
“You guys did this for me? You guys are the best.” Scott says.
Rachel shows up to go to the concert with Scott. She asks if the tickets were hard to get.
“No, not when you have really great friends,” Scott says.
Awwwww! the audience replies.
The audience has probably forgotten that Vicki had a huge crush on Scott just a few episodes ago and Megan and Scott were hinted to be a couple-in-the-making at the start of the season. Beyond continuity, the main message here seems to be that, if your friend is a pathological liar, it’s okay to to lie to help him out. The Dorkmans, who apparently spent a lot of money on the tickets that Megan just gave away, are already at the concert waiting on their dates. Vicki and Megan’s actions would perhaps be justified if the Dorkmans were creeps but, for the most part, they’re just two guys who wears glasses and like comic books. And while it is true that the Dorkmans bought those tickets without bothering to ask Vicki and Megan out beforehand, it’s also true that Megan flat-out lied so that she could then give the tickets to Scott.
One thing that I have noticed about Saved By The Bell: The New Class is that it seems to really hate its nerd characters. The original series had stereotypical nerds as well but they were still, more or less, likeable and the show’s characters may not have hung out with them but they weren’t intentionally cruel to them. Saved By The Bell: The New Class, on the other hand, feels as if it was written by the same people who spilled the pig’s blood on Carrie White.
Anyway, this episode was terrible. Thank goodness there’s only three more episodes of the first season to go.
From 1979’s Apocalypse Now, here is the haunting music that plays as Willard and the boat approach the infamous bridge that is built every day so that it can be destroyed every night. This musical piece was composed by Francis Ford Coppola’s father, Carmine.
Through the Shattered Lens 