Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.14 “War of Nerves”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, some people stand in the darkness, afraid to move into the light.

Episode 2.14 “War of Nerves”

(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on February 3rd, 1992)

Drug lord Mason Sato (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) has just gotten out of prison and he wants revenge of Mitch.  For reasons that aren’t really explained beyond a shot of a newspaper headline that reads, “Hero Lifeguard Helps Police Take Down Drug Lord,” Mason blames Mitch for his arrest,  Do lifeguards make arrests?

Mason stalks Mitch, Hobie, and Mitch’s girlfriend, Kaye (Pamela Bach).  At first, Mitch doesn’t tell either Hobie or Kaye what’s going on.  But when Mason asks Hobie to teach him how to use a boogie board, Mitch loses it and punches Mason out.  Mason later kidnaps both Hobie and Kaye.  This leads to a fight in an abandoned warehouse.  Once the fight moves into the ocean, Mason nearly drowns but Mitch saves his life so he can go back to prison.

Meanwhile, Shauni asks Ben to teacher her how to surf.  We never actually see Ben teaching her anything but we do get a lengthy montage as Ben remembers his days as a surfing lifeguard.  Myself, I’m wondering how Ben, who we’ve been told can no longer swim because of a leg injury, suddenly stops limping in this episode.

Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa was a magnetic villain but otherwise, this was Baywatch at its cheapest.  The plot was by-the-book and it mostly seemed to exist so that Hasselhoff could play the action hero.  This episode felt like a dry run for the first, non-supernatural season of Baywatch Nights.  How many lifelong enemies has Mitch managed to make?

The life of the lifeguard is a dangerous one.

Scenes That I Love: Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate


Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to the legendary Dustin Hoffman.  This scene that I love comes from 1967’s The Graduate and it features Hoffman delivering one of the greatest lines of all time.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special 1978 Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, we pay tribute to the year 1978!  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 1978 Films

Halloween (1978, dir by John Carpenter. DP: Dean Cundey)

Starcrash (1978, dir by Luigi Cozzi, DP: Paul Beeson and Roberto D’Ettorre Piazzoli)

Days of Heaven (1978, dir by Terrence Malick, DP: Nestor Almendros)

Hooper (1978, dir by Hal Needham, DP: Bobby Byrne)

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial For Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on Twitter and Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, #ScarySocial presents Sleepaway Camp 2!

If you want to join us this Saturday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Sleepaway Camp 2 is available on Prime!  See you there!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.22 “Life Sentence”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week, we finish up Freddy’s Nightmares.

Episode 2.22 “Life Sentence”

(Dir by Anita W. Addison, originally aired on March 11th, 1990)

The final episode of Freddy’s Nightmares is also one of the most boring.

Just as with last week’s snoozefest, this episode takes place at the local prison.  Andy (George De La Pena) is due to be released.  Everyone knows that he killed a guard during an armored truck robbery but Andy blamed his accomplice Bruno (Ron Troncatty) and got away with a plea bargain.  Andy can’t wait to get out of jail.  He brags to the guy in the next cell about how he knows where all the money is hidden.

Uh-oh, it looks like the prison’s psychiatrist, Elaine Alamo (Penny Johnson Jerald), is trying to keep Andy imprisoned.  What does Andy care?  Sure, everyone hates him but Bruno’s in another prison and Andy’s got all that money waiting for him.  However, when Andy finds out that Bruno has escaped, Andy no longer feels safe on the outside.  However, Elaine has changed her mind about keeping Andy in jail because she wants Bruno to kill Andy because the guard the Andy killed was her father.  So, Andy kills Elaine so he can stay in prison.  But then Bruno gets captured and becomes Andy’s new cellmate.  That’s the first story.

The second story features the prison’s warden, Hendler (John Milford), running for sheriff.  He’s behind in the polls so he uses an experimental truth serum on Andy.  Andy hallucinates that the Warden is Bruno and Andy tells him where the money is hidden.  Then Andy dies from a heart attack.  The Warden calls a press conference to announce that he’s found the money but Dr. Redman (Glynn Turman), the inventor of the serum, spikes the Warden’s drink and the Warden confesses to killing Andy.

Freddy doesn’t do anything in either one of these stories, other than appear in three host segments and tell a joke about dropping the soap.

This episode was incredibly dull.  The low-budget was extremely obvious.  (The Warden holds his press conference in the prison, presumably because the show couldn’t afford to dress another set.)  Penny Johnson Jerald does a  good job with her role but otherwise, this was a poorly acted episode that featured dull characters.  Andy was unlikable.  The Warden was unlikable.  This episode was sad note for this show to go out on.

Of course, it’s not a shock that Freddy’s Nightmares ended with a bad episode.  It wasn’t a very good show to begin with,  There were a few above average episodes during the second season and the first season features some memorably grotesque moments but otherwise, Freddy’s Nightmares was too constrained by the standards of television to really live up to the legacy of A Nightmare on Elm Street.  The best episode were the ones the featured Freddy getting involved in the plot but those were few and far between.

Freddy’s Nightmares did not get a grand finale.  Instead, it just got a forgettable final episode.  Unlike the Friday the 13th series, Freddy’s Nightmares never found a consistent tone or a compelling reason for existing.

Oh well.  Next week, we’ll have a new show in this time slot.  See you then!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.5 “Slice O’Life”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, it’s a busy few days in Boston.

Episode 4.5 “Slice O’Life”

(Dir by Eric Laneuville, originally aired on November 6th, 1985)

Oh, the drama!

Elliot is still struggling to lose weight.

Fiscus is having an early midlife crisis, especially when a cancer patient (Todd Susman) philosophically accepts that the treatment is going to leave him impotent.  The patient has lived a life with meaning.  What has Fiscus done?

Dr. Craig finally admits to Ellen that he knows he was too hard on their now dead son.  They are both preparing to raise their granddaughter, Barbara, in their home.  However, Yvonne’s parents (Ramon Bieri and K Callan) arrive in Boston for a visit.  They are so blue collar and, in Dr. Craig’s eyes, unsophisticated that they almost seems like caricatures of what the rich think the poor are like.  They reveal that Stephen and Yvonne asked them to serve as Barbara’s legal guardians in case anything happened.  At first, Ellen refuses to let them take Barbara.  “Get your wife in check,” Yvonne’s father says.  “I’ll see you in court,” Dr. Craig replies.

After complaining about feeling like he has a cold and then getting upset about the Hospital Board not immediately approving all of his projects, Dr. Westphall collapses in the St. Eligius stairwell.  It turns out that he has Malaria.  Apparently, a self-righteous attitude and a bunch of impractical ideas were not the only things Westphall brought home from Ethiopia.

Finally, Bobby spends another weekend up at Cape Cod.  He picks up a local woman.  They have what Bobby is probably expecting to be just another one night stand.  The woman, however, has a razor blade that she’s hidden under her tongue (yikes!) and proceeds to slice Bobby across his face.

AGCK!

Up until that ending, this was a fairly typical episode of St. Elsewhere.  It looked like the big drama was going to be the Craigs temporarily losing Barbara.  Instead, the drama is that Bobby might be dead!

Oh, poor Mark Harmon.  When he first started playing the role on this show, Bobby was portrayed as being a nice guy who was a little boring.  The show really had no idea what to do with him, other than have him occasionally take his shirt off.  For the fourth season, the show’s writers turned him into an arrogant hedonist.  On the one hand, I’m sure there are a lot of doctors like Bobby Caldwell.  On the other hand, the change really does seem to have come out of nowhere.  And now, he might be dead.  I guess the lesson here is to stay away from Cape Cod!

The attack on Bobby ultimately overshadows everything else that happened in this episode.  I will say that, before Bobby got attacked, I was enjoying Dr. Craig’s rather snobbish reaction to Yvonne’s parents.  As for Dr. Westphall …. eh.  Westphall’s kind of become a one trick pony.  He’s depressed and he wants the world to know it.  I know quite a few people like Dr. Westphall in real life, which is probably why I get so annoyed with his character on the show.

Seriously, Westphall, cheer up!

 

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix for Judge Dredd!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly watch parties.  On Twitter, I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday and I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday.  On Mastodon, I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, I will be hosting #FridayNightFlix!  The movie?  1995’s Judge Dredd!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, find Judge Dredd on Prime, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  I’ll be there happily tweeting.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

See you there!

 

 

Scene That I Love: Rebel Without A Cause


Since today is Nicholas Ray’s birthday, it seems appropriate to share a scene from Ray’s best-known film, 1955’s Rebel Without A Cause.  In this scene, a group of teens who can barely find happiness or peace on their own planet are asked to consider the wonders of the universe.