Guilty Pleasure No. 59: Teen Wolf (dir by Rod Daniel)

Posted on October 29, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

First released in 1985, Teen Wolf is a bit of an odd film.

Michael J. Fox is Scott Howard, a 17 year-old high student in Nebraska. There’s nothing special about Scott. He plays on the school’s lousy basketball team. He has a crush on the most popular girl in school, even though she barely seems to know that he’s alive. He’s completely oblivious to the fact that his lifelong best friend, Boof (Susan Ursitti), is totally crushing on him. His parents are clueless to Scott’s angst. Maybe the only thing that Scott has going for him is that he is friends with the coolest kid in school, Stiles (Jerry Levine). How cool is Stiles? He’s so cool that his name is Stiles! Actually, to be hones, Stiles seems just as dorky as Scott but this is an 80s film so who am I to argue with the film’s argument that everyone wants to hang out with Stiles?

Then, one night, Scott discovers that he has inherited the family “curse.” He’s a werewolf! But, on the plus side, he’s a really popular werewolf. Everyone at school loves the werewolf. The popular girls want to date the werewolf. Everyone loves seeing the werewolf van surfing. And, even more importantly, the werewolf is really good at basketball! It’s weird because the Werewolf is just as short as Scott was but apparently, being a wolf makes you good at basketball. You have to wonder why the other teams wouldn’t protest having to play against a werewolf. I would be worried that the werewolf would get mad if it missed a shot and kill everyone on the court.

Anyway, Scott is popular but he soon learns that popularity is empty, regardless of whether you’re a werewolf or not. He also realizes the Boof is the girl that he should be going out with but Boof only wants to date Scott. She doesn’t want to date the werewolf. Will Scott find the courage to go to the school dance as himself?

This is a pretty stupid movie but Michael J. Fox brings a lot of heart to the role of Scott and his romance with Boof (who really needs a better nickname) is actually rather sweet. The highlight of the film are Scott’s interaction with his supportive but nerdy father (played by James Hampton). There are a lot jokes that fall flat and the plot never makes much sense but the film itself so amiably dumb that it’s hard not to kind of like it. That said, don’t ever try to surf on top of the van. Werewolf or not, that looks dangerous!

Previous Guilty Pleasures

2 Days Til Halloween

Posted on October 29, 2022 by Dazzling Erin

by Virgil Finlay

“We ask only to be reassured about the noises in the cellar and the window that should not have been open.”

— T.S. Eliot

Blast From The Past: The Mermaid (dir by Georges Méliès)

Posted on October 29, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For today’s blast from the past, we have another dream film from Georges Méliès. In this film, a man (played by the director) appears to dream of a mermaid. This film is from 1904 and, 118 years later, it’s still a charmingly surreal vignette. Georges Méliès reveals himself to be not only a dreamer but a pioneer of the type of special effects that we today take for granted.

Artwork of the Day: Darkness Falls

Posted on October 29, 2022 by Dazzling Erin

by Erin Nicole

The night is almost here.

Insomnia File #57: Boris Karloff: The Man Behind The Monster (dir by Thomas Hamilton)

Posted on October 29, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or Netflix? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

Ah, the mystery of Boris Karloff.

On screen, Karloff was a horror icon. He brought Frankenstein’s Monster to life and influenced generations of actors and horror filmmakers. He was also the Mummy and the first actor to play Sax Rohmer’s international criminal, Fu Manchu and, of course, he won over a whole new generation as narrator of How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Over the course of his long career, Karloff appeared in movies both good and bad. He worked for Mario Bava and Roger Corman and James Whale and Peter Bogdanovich. He was also the host of Thriller, a much-beloved horror anthology series. At the height of his fame, he was often credited by just his last name. Everyone knew who Boris Karloff was.

Off screen, Boris Karloff was a quiet and rather dignified gentleman, one who was widely considered to be one of the kindest and most generous men in Hollywood. Born William Henry Pratt, Karloff’s father was a diplomat and his family assumed that he would follow their career. Instead, William Henry Pratt immigrated first to Canada and then to California and transformed himself into Boris Karloff.

Boris Karloff: The Man Behind The Monster is a documentary that both explores the mysteries of Karloff’s life and also pays tribute to him as an actor. It attempts to answer the question of how such a kindly man could also be responsible for some of the greatest moments in horror. Full of archival footage and interviews with those who worked with Karloff and also those who were influenced by his films (like Guillermo del Toro), the film presents a portrait of a talented actor who was as expressive onscreen as he was somewhat withdrawn in real life. For Karloff, his roles became a way to escape from the troubles of the real world. As the film makes clear, Karloff didn’t start his career planning to eventually become a horror actor and, occasionally, he did chafe a bit at being typecast. However, regardless of what role he was playing, Karloff always gave it his best. He may have appeared in some bad films but he never gave a bad performance. The film not only includes clips from his films but also an examination of what made his performances so special. The analysis of Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Terror, and Targets is especially interesting.

If you’re a fan of horror, this documentary is for you. It’s currently available on Shudder.

Previous Insomnia Files:

Music Video of the Day: West End Girls (New Lockdown Version) by Pet Shop Boys (2020, directed by Luke Halls)

Posted on October 29, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

This is the second video for the Pet Shop Boys’s West End Girls, updated for the age of lockdowns. In 2020, you could still sing about the girls in the West End. You just couldn’t leave your house and go down there to see them.

Enjoy!

Horror on TV: Tales From The Crypt 6.15 “You, Murderer” (dir by Robert Zemeckis)

Posted on October 28, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

To be honest, tonight’s episode of HBO’s Tales From The Crypt isn’t really a traditional horror story. Instead, it’s a somewhat satiric homage to film noir. But I’m going to share it anyway. Halloween is about more than just ghouls and ghosts and goblins, right?

You, Murderer is an experiment that doesn’t quite work but is interesting all the same. This episode is basically one long POV shot. Whenever our protagonist sees his reflection, we see Humphrey Bogart staring back at us. Actual footage of Bogart was used in the show. Sometimes it work, sometimes it just looks strange. But it’s always interesting!

This episode originally aired on January 25th, 1995. Enjoy!

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: How To Make A Monster (dir by Herbert L. Strock)

Posted on October 28, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

How do you make a monster?

According to this 1958 film, the man to ask is Pete Dumond!

As played by Robert H. Harris, Pete Dumond is the chief make-up artist at American International Pictures. He’s so good that he can easily transform handsome teen idols like Tony Mantell (Gary Conway) and Larry Drake (Gary Clarke) into convincing monsters. Everyone loves Pete but there’s a problem. As the new studio head explains it, horror just isn’t that popular anymore. Teenagers are no longer interested in seeing movies about werewolves and Frankenstein’s Monster. Instead, teens now only care about rock and roll. Elvis has killed horror!

(Actually, the film argues that a recording artist named John Ashley killed horror. At the time this movie was made, John Ashley was under contract to American International Pictures and the film even includes a dance number where Ashley performs his latest hit. Ashley wasn’t a bad singer but it’s still hard to believe that he could have killed horror. That said, the choreography is fun and every horror movie needs at least one random dance number.)

Sadly, Pete is about to be out of a job. However, what the studio heads don’t realize is that Pete is more than just a makeup artist! He’s also a master hypnotist! Soon, Pete is using a special foundation cream to hypnotize Tony and Larry. Once he has them under his control, he sends them, in full costume, on a mission to kill anyone who thinks that horror is dead!

There’s a lot of enjoyment to be found in How To Make A Monster. The film not only takes place at American International Pictures but it was produced by AIP as well, so the entire movie is basically full of in-jokes that would only be appreciated by B-movie fans. For instance, the makeup effects that Pete creates are the same ones that were used in I Was A Teenage Frankenstein and I Was A Teenage Werewolf. (Gary Conway wore the Frankenstein makeup in both Teenage Frankenstein and this film.) Towards the end of the film, when Larry and Tony confront Pete at his home, the walls are decorated with all of the monsters that Pete has created throughout the years and attentive viewers will recognize them as coming from such previous AIP films as The She-Creature, It Conquered The World, and Invasion of the Star Creatures. (Seriously, I loved seeing the big crab monster from It Conquered The World hanging on Pete’s wall. I’m sure horror and sci-fans in the 1950s felt the same way.) While the majority of the film is in black-and-white, the scenes in Pete’s home are in full and vibrant color, as if AIP was announcing, “This is what makes the movies fun!”

Needless to say, How To Make A Monster is not a film that was ever meant to be taken seriously. Instead, it’s a rather cheerful send-up of both the film business and AIP’s own status as a B-studio. (At times, I felt like the film could just as easily have been called Sam Arkoff’s The Player.) Watching the film, one gets the feeling that it was largely made as a lark, an inside joke amongst friends. As such, it’s impossible to dislike this energetic little film. Director Herbert L. Strock keep the action moving along and, in the lead role, Robert H. Harris gives exactly the type of over-the-top performance that this material needs.

If you’re a fan of 50s drive-in movies, How To Make A Monster is a film that you simply must see!

Frankenstein vs. Dracula vs. The Mummy: Who Would Win?

Posted on October 28, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

If the next presidential election were held today and the major candidates were Frankenstein, Dracula, and The Mummy, who would win?

I know that’s a question that has been on everyone’s mind and, in order to find out, I went to the Internet Archive and ran the scenario through a game called President Elect. President Elect was developed as an election simulator in the 80s and it is still considered to be one of the best and most accurate games of its type. Over the years, President Elect has correctly predicted the results of almost every election since 1988.

After setting the game to duplicate both the fragile state of the American economy and the uncertain outlook of our current place in the world, I then selected my three nominees. Frankenstein’s Monster ran as the Democratic candidate. He had no platform, beyond more funds for fire prevention. As a public speaker, I had to give him a low rating and I also had to admit that he wasn’t good at maintaining his cool under pressure. However, I did give him high marks on the “personal magnetism” scale because people have been fascinated by the monster for over two hundred years. Frankenstein’s Monster may seemed like the underdog but perhaps voters would be moved by his personal story and his refusal to take definite positions on the issues.

Running for the Republicans was Dracula. As for as public speaking, personal magnetism, and staying calm under pressure, Dracula got the highest rating available. But his platform was undeniably extreme, with absolutely no concern for human rights. Dracula was the only candidate to be opposed to the agendas of the Religious Right, the National Organization for Women, and the NRA. (The last thing that a vampire would want would be for everyone to have access to silver bullets.) Would he be too extreme for the voters?

Finally, running as an independent was the Mummy. The Mummy had roughly the same platform as Dracula but little of the personal magnetism. In fact, the Mummy could not even speak. But he was determined to get what he wanted and again, he scored high on the personal magnetism because he’s been in so many movies despite spending all of his time under wraps.

I allowed the game to simulate the 9 weeks between Labor Day and the election. Not surprisingly, Frankenstein’s Monster refused to debate Dracula. As a third party candidate, the Mummy struggled to keep up financially. I was expecting a close election with a lot of fireworks but instead, it was clear from week one who was going to win. Dracula led in the polls from the start and, within the first hour of election night, he had the 270 electoral votes necessary to claim the presidency. He went on to win a lot more than just 270 though.

Here are the votes by state:

America went full Dracula, not only giving him 60% of the popular vote but also 535 electoral votes. Frankenstein’s Monster won only the District of Columbia and, even then, he only received 67% of the vote in this Democratic stronghold. After D.C., Frankenstein’s best states were Minnesota and Rhode Island, in which he took 47% of the vote. The Mummy turned out not to be a factor at all, despite winning 5% of the vote in Florida. Frankenstein’s Monster may have had the most compassionate platform but Dracula had the charisma. His best states were Idaho and Utah, both of which he won with 71% of the vote.

See you at the inauguration!