A Quickie Horror Review: The Black Cat (dir. by Lucio Fulci)


For my first horror review of October, I want to tell you about a movie that was directed by one of my favorite Italian filmmakers, Lucio Fulci.  That movie is the unjustly neglected Gato nero, or the Black Cat. 

In The Black Cat (loosely — and I do mean loosely — based on Edgar Allan Poe’s short story), the great David Warbeck plays a detective who is  sent to a small English village to investigate a series of mysterious deaths.  Corpses are turning up covered in scratches.  A man crashes his car after a black cat suddenly shows up in the passenger’s seat.  A young couple is found dead in a locked-up boathouse.  Evidence suggests that the killer entered through a small air vent.  No human could fit through that vent but…how about a cat?  Warbeck enlists the aid of a visiting American photographer (Mimsy Farmer) to investigate the crimes and he soon comes across a half-crazed medium (Patrick Magee) who just happens to own an adorable, if ill-tempered, black cat…

Fulci is well-known for directing such seminal (and gory) horror films as Zombi 2 and The Beyond trilogy.  The Black Cat was made during the same period of time as his more infamous films but it has never received as much attention.  Perhaps that’s because The Black Cat almost doesn’t feel like a Fulci film.  The gore is played down, the plot is coherent and (for a Fulci film) surprisingly linear, and the film even has a playful sense of humor to it.  Indeed, this often feels more like a minor, if entertaining, Hammer film than a Fulci film.  However, visually, this film is clearly the work of Lucio Fulci.  With his constantly prowling camera following isolated characters through dark streets and passageways, Fulci manages to make a small English village feel just as menacing as the dying Caribbean island from Zombi 2.  For all the attention given to Fulci as a “master of gore,” the true strength of his best films came from Fulci’s ability to create a palpable atmosphere of dread.  Fulci used gore as a tool but not as a crutch and if The Black Cat is a minor Fulci film, it’s still a film that proves that he was a far better director than even many of his fans give him credit for.

The Black Cat is surprisingly well-acted by a cast that’s made up of an appealing  combination of Fulci regulars and English B-movie veterans.  I read an old interview in which Warbeck complained that he felt his performance here was “boring,” but actually he was the perfect lead for this type of film, likable and with enough of a sense of humor to keep you watching.  Al Cliver may not be a household name but he and his blonde mustache seemed to show up in just about every movie Fulci made and he shows up here as well.  This time, he’s playing a local English constable and he’s no more believable here than he was playing a scientist in The Beyond or a boat captain in Zombi 2.  Still, any true Fulci fan will always be happy to see Cliver show up in a Fulci film because — much like familiar but bland wall paper — he lets us know that we’re home.  Patrick Magee is probably best known for his over-the-top performance as Mr. Alexander in A Clockwork Orange.  Magee goes just as much over-the-top here but, just as in A Clockwork Orange, Magee’s performance fits in perfectly with the film he’s appearing in.  Much as Stanley Kubrick contrasted Magee’s performance with Malcolm McDowell’s more subtle work, Fulci contrasts Magee’s theatrical approach with the more relaxed performances of Warbeck and Farmer.  Did I just compare Lucio Fulci to Stanley Kubrick?  Yes, I did and I stand by it.

However, the real star of this film is the black cat.  Trust me, this black cat (or black cats as I imagine several were used) is both adorable and blood-thirsty.  I still say that our cat Doc is the cutest black cat in the world but this film’s murderous feline comes in a very close second.

Doc, the greatest black cat ever!

A Quickie With Lisa Marie: Dream House (dir. by Jim Sheridan)


As I try to put into words my reaction to the new film Dream House, one phrase comes to mind:

Bleh.

Dream House is about this guy played by Daniel Craig who we’re told, at the start of the film, is a writer.  He’s moved out to his “Dream House” out in the middle of one of those cinematic suburban communities.  He shares his dream house with his wife Libby (Rachel Weisz) and his two little girls.  However, things aren’t quite what they seem.  The girls keep seeing a shadowy figure watching them.  Teenagers keep performing Satanic rituals in the basement.  Craig’s neighbor looks just like Naomi Watts.  Oh no!  Has he been sucked into Mulholland Drive!?

No, not quite.  Instead, he’s just found himself trapped in a painfully slow movie that takes itself and it’s half-baked plot way too seriously.  This film is being advertised as if it’s a horror movie but there’s nothing scary about it and it’s almost as if the film itself is refusing to lower itself to providing us with any “cheap” thrills.  The film instead is a mystery but it’s one of those mysteries where we discover the solution not through any artfully placed clues but instead by random characters showing up and having flashbacks.

There’s a big twist about 80 minutes into this 99 minute film and, as a reviewer, I know that it would not be right for me to spoil that twist.  Fortunately, however, Morgan Creek Productions decided to include that twist in the film’s trailer so, if you want to know, here you go:

Again, it takes this film 80 minutes to reach the twist that the trailer reveals after 1 minutes and 17 seconds.  So, as a result, you spend the first 80 minutes going, “Okay, we know…”  Once the twist is revealed, there’s only 18 minutes to wrap up the film’s plot and this is done in the clumsiest way imaginable.

Now, one reason for this might be that the film’s producers reportedly clashed with director Jim Sheridan and eventually took the film away from him.  Sheridan, Craig, and Watts have all refused to do any promotion for the film and have publicly stated that they hate the version that has been released.  I don’t know.  My natural impulse has always been to side with the artists as opposed to the corporate people.  After all, we’ve all heard about what happened to Erich Von Stroheim’s original cut of Greed and about what Terry Gilliam went through with Brazil.  Still, it’s hard to look at the assembled footage and see any hint that this film could have been anything more than the film that’s currently playing at your local theater.

When I told Arleigh about my feelings towards Dream House, he asked me if I felt it was the “worst one of the year.”  I wouldn’t go quite that far.  Dream House is forgettable but it’s not as pompous as The Conspirator or as insulting as Straw Dogs.

No, Dream House is not the worst.

It’s just bleh.

6 Trailers To Kick Off A Horrific October


Well, here it is October 1st and you know what that means. It’s time for horror, horror, and more horror.  This edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers is dedicated to just that.  So, without further ado, let’s jump into the world of ghosts, zombies, maniacs, and Paul Naschy…

1) Terror Train (1980)

Though this appears to be a fairly standard old school Jamie Lee Curtis slasher film, I like this trailer a lot.  The opening shots of the train are nicely ominous, the shots of winter are perfectly matched with the trailer’s grim atmosphere, and it’s interesting to see Ben Johnson in one of these films.

2) Bloody Birthday (1981)

I love this trailer solely for that final shot with the birthday cake.

3) The House Where Evil Dwells (1982)

Despite the odd looking crab-thing that shows up about halfway through, this is a creepy little trailer.

4) The Hunchback of the Morgue (1973)

Can you believe it took me over 60 entries before I finally included a Paul Naschy film?  Better late than never…

5) Flesheater (1988)

This film was directed by Bill Hinzman, best known as the graveyard zombie from Night of the Living Dead.

6) Lair of White Worm (1988)

Agck!  Snake people!

Poll: Which Films Are You Most Looking Forward To Seeing In November?


Last month, at this time, we asked you which four films you were most looking forward to seeing in the month of October.  The results are in and it appears that October is going to be all about The Thing, Footloose, The Rum Diary, The Skin I Live In, and The Ides of March.  Thank you to everyone who voted.

Here’s November’s poll.  As always, you can vote for up to four films and write-ins are accepted.  So, let us know — which films are you looking forward to seeing in November?

6 More Quickies With Lisa Marie: Beginners, Hall Pass, Horrible Bosses, Paul, Prom, and Terri


When I swore to myself that I would write a review of every new film I saw in 2011, I failed to take into consideration that 1) I see a lot of films, 2) I have a day job, and 3) I’m like Ms. ADHD.  So, as part of my effort to catch up, here’s 6 quickie reviews. 

Beginners (directed by Mike Mills)

Beginners opened with a lot of critical hype earlier this year and, though it’s not quite as great as it’s being made out to be, it still deserved the majority of that praise.  At the very least, I retain better memories of Beginners than I do this summer’s other similarly hyped film, A Better Life.  Ewan McGregor is an artist who struggles to come terms with the death of his gay father (Christopher Plummer) while falling in love with a French actress (Melanie Laurent).  The autobiographical film effortlessly shifts from flashbacks to Plummer’s life in-and-out of the closet to McGregor’s relationship with Laurent and the end result is a meditation on love, secrets, and life.  Most of the pre-release buzz dealt with Plummer’s performance but, honestly, Plummer is good but you never forget you’re watching Christopher Plummer and Goran Visnjic, who plays Plummer’s boyfriend, overacts.  The film really belongs to Ewan McGregor who gives one of his best performances in this film.  Seriously, does any actor fall in love as wonderfully as Ewan McGregor?

Hall Pass (directed by Peter and Bobby Farrelly)

Best friends Owen Wilson and Jason Sudekis are given a “hall pass” (i.e., permission to cheat) by their spouses (Jenna Fischer and Cristina Applegate).  The film’s forgettable but seriously, guys, don’t go asking us for a hall pass, okay?  One interesting point is that this film was co-written by the guy who won the first season of Project Greenlight.  Remember that show? 

Horrible Bosses (directed by Set Gordon)

Jason Sudekis also appeared in another comedy this year and if Hall Pass is one of the year’s most forgettable comedies, than Horrible Bosses is one of the best.  Basically Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Sudekis are stuck working for horrible bosses (played by Kevin Spacey, Colin Farrell, and Jennifer Aniston) and they decide that the only way to handle the situation is to commit mass murder.  There’s a lot I could say about this film but chances are, you’ve already seen it.  Therefore, you already know that this is a rare dark comedy that actually has the guts to be truly dark.  You also know that the entire cast brings an almost heroic sincerity to their often bizarre roles with Charlie Day’s misunderstood sex offender as an obvious stand-out.  Probably the best advice that I can give in this review is to enjoy and appreciate this film while you can before the inevitable sequel comes out and screws up all these good memories.

Paul (directed by Greg Mottola)

I didn’t see Paul when it was first released in theaters because the trailer really made it look kinda awful.  However, I did eventually give it a shot OnDemand and I was pleasantly surprised.  Two English sci-fi fanboys (played by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost) are taking a road trip to visit all of the major UFO sites in the U.S.  This leads to them meeting an alien named Paul (voiced by Seth Rogen) who is being pursued by the typical guys in black suits.  Anyway, this is a predictable film and the balance between the serious and comedic is often a bit awkward.  However, it’s still a likable film and how can’t you enjoy watching Pegg and Frost?  They can make even the lamest of jokes hilarious.  Kristen Wiig steals the film as a fundamentalist who, upon being enlightened about the nature of the universe by Paul, embraces blasphemy with endearing enthusiasm.

Prom (directed by Joe Nussbaum)

No, I did not force Jeff to take me to see this when it was first released in theaters back in April.  I tried, mostly be saying things like, “Wow, Prom looks like it would be a funny movie to see and spend the whole time making mean jokes about and making all the little tweens in the audience cry…” but he saw through my ruse and, if memory serves me correct, I ended up seeing the second worst film of 2011 (a.k.a. The Conspirator) instead.  Anyway, I ended up seeing Prom OnDemand last month and it’s not really that bad.  It’s not good either.  It’s just kinda there.  In other words, Prom is incredibly meh and that’s one thing prom night should never be.  (I loved my proms, by the way, and, whenever things seem overwhelming, I often think to myself, “If only every night could be Prom Night…”)  Prom is forgettable and inoffensive but come on, tweens deserve better films.  They are the future, after all.

Terri (directed by Azazel Jacobs)

Terri made me cry and cry and was one of my favorite movies of the summer.  It’s a surprisingly poignant film that worked wonders with material that, at first glance, seemed awfully conventional.  Terri (played by Jacob Wysocki) is a sensitive, obese teenager who is taken under the wing of an unconventional assistant principal (John C. Reilly).  It’s a familiar story but director Azazel Jacobs tells this story with care and sensitivity and Wysocki and Reilly bring their characters to life with such skill that you can’t help but get caught up in their story.  Terri’s loving but senile uncle is played by Creed Bratton, who proves here that he’s capable of doing a lot more than just parodying himself on The Office.  When I went to this movie, two old women sitting behind me went, “Awwww!” at a scene where Wysocki spontaneously hugs Reilly.  The film earns the sentiment.

Most of these films are available via OnDemand or are currently available on DVD.  Horrible Bosses and Terri are scheduled to be released in October while Beginners will come out in November.

Scenes I Love: Zombie Vs. Shark


Okay, so I realize that this is a pretty familiar scene.  Along with being one of the highpoints of Lucio Fulci’s seminal Zombi 2, it was also used — out of context — in a television commercial a few years ago.  I can’t remember what the commercial was for but I do remember being ticked off whenever I was on twitter and I saw people who had probably never even heard of Lucio Fulci going, “Awww!  I love the Shark/Zombie makeout commercial!” 

(Oh!  Wait, I do remember — it was one of those “Windows So-and-So was my idea!” commercials.  God, I hated that advertising campaign.)

Anyway, here’s a scene I truly love, shown in its proper context — the Zombie/Shark fight from Lucio Fulci’s 1979 masterpiece Zombi 2.  One thing I always wondered was whether or not that the shark came back as a zombie shark.

I kinda hope it did.

Lisa Marie Compromises: Moneyball (dir. by Bennett Miller) and Warrior (dir. by Gavin O’Conner)


Here’s one thing I’ve learned about relationships – sometimes, you have to compromise.  Sometimes, you have to do things for your man that you’d rather not do and you have to pretend like you’re enjoying it and sometimes, you even have to do it several times before you get what it is that you want.  Case in point: I recently went to two sports films with Jeff. 

Now, I have to be honest.  I don’t know much about sports in general and quite frankly, I really have next to no desire to know.  Why am I so indifferent to this thing that most men appear to be incapable of living without?  Well,

1)      I have asthma and therefore, I never got to play any of the games that all the other kids were playing.  This led to me becoming bitter towards those who could actually breathe and have fun at the same time and,

2)      I’m a girl.

My indifference to sports tends to extend even to cinematic sports.  Seriously, most sports-related films either put me to sleep or lead to me making a lot of snarky comments under my breath.  However, I recently forced Jeff to accompany me to see One Day, which is one of the most girly movies ever made.  In fact, it was such a girly movie that I’ve had to see not one but two sports movies with Jeff.  The first was Warrior and the second (which we saw on Saturday) was Moneyball.

I don’t quite feel qualified to review Moneyball because, to be honest, I couldn’t make heads or tails of what was going on during most of the film.  Normally, I would just say that this was a sign of failure on the film’s part but the audience around me really seemed to love this film and so did Jeff.  So, I’m going to refrain from judging Moneyball too harshly.  Instead, I’ll simply state that this film was not for me but if you’re a baseball fan (and you really love to get into the nitty gritty details of how a baseball team is put together), chances are that you’ll enjoy this film. 

Fortunately, there are a few things that help make Moneyball a tolerable experience even for a sport illiterate like me.  The film tells the story of Billy Beane, the general manager of the Oakland A’s and how he turned the A’s into a winning team by revolutionizing the way that teams are put together.  I’m not really sure what he did that was revolutionary because the film itself really doesn’t spend too much time explaining how his method is different from the previous method.  It spends a lot of time telling us that his approach is different but Aaron Sorkin’s script seems to assume that everyone in the audience already knows how baseball works.  (That’s not necessarily a slam against the film, either.  It’s a baseball movie, after all.)  Luckily, Brad Pitt, who gives such a mature and multi-faceted performance here that you hope that Billy succeeds even if, like me, you’re not really sure what he’s talking about half the time, plays Billy Beane.  Seriously, this was the first time I’ve ever watched Brad Pitt and forgotten that I was watching Brad Pitt.  Pitt is ably supported by Jonah Hill, who plays his assistant and is largely responsible for introducing Pitt to the “new” system.  Hill plays his scenes with all the enthusiasm of a high school nerd who has finally forced the cool kids to acknowledge how much smarter he is than them.  It’s a truly endearing performance and again, you find yourself rooting for Hill even if you can’t quite understand what he’s going on about half the time.

Again, if you’re a sports fan or a fan of statistics (which I am not because seriously, math is just one big bleh to me), you’ll find a lot of to enjoy in Moneyball.  I wish the film had been a bit more accessible for someone like me but obviously, I’m not that target audience and, regardless of whether you’re a sports fan or not, director Bennett Miller keeps the action moving quickly and the performances of Pitt and Hill both hold your attention.

Warrior takes place in the world of “mixed martial arts,” which I assume is the new big sport.  I say assume because I actually know even less about the world of mixed martial arts than I do about baseball. Before going in to see Warrior, all I knew about MMA and the Ultimate Fighting Championship was that Russell – one of the most unlikable Big Brother houseguests ever – was apparently a UFC contender.  Or maybe it was Jesse.  I don’t know.  I have trouble keeping all the Big Brother houseguests straight, to be honest. 

Warrior is the story of two brothers.  One of them is a bitter, pill-popping ex-Marine who fights because he’s angry at the world.  Tom Hardy plays him.  The other is played by Joel Edgerton and is presented as a happily married teacher who is fighting because he’s flat broke and in danger of losing his home.  The two brothers haven’t spoken in years and about the only thing they have in common (beyond the fact that they’re both good at fighting) is a shared hatred for their father (a quite poignant Nick Nolte, doing wonders in a role that seems almost too perfect for him), a recovering alcoholic who sees his sons as his only hope for redemption.  Ultimately, the parallel fighting careers of the two brothers leads to a surprise family reunion in Atlantic City where they find themselves both competing in the same brutal, winner-take-all tournament.

Warrior tells a pretty familiar story and there are a few plot developments (such as Hardy’s AWOL status from the Marines) that feel undeveloped but the film still works about a hundred percent better than it has any right to.  Director Gavin O’Connor wisely takes a low-key approach to the film’s more melodramatic moments and brings a sense of gritty realism to the beginning of the film that provides quite a contrast to the later gaudiness of Atlantic City.  Nolte and Edgerton both give excellent performances and, after years of being best known for his mug shot, it’s nice to see what a strong and multifaceted actor Nick Nolte actually is.  However, the film truly belongs to Tom Hardy.  In this film, Hardy is a true force of nature and gives a performance that is both frightening and sympathetic at the same time.  You want to reach out and give the poor guy a hug even though you know he might end up killing you in response. 

Coming out of Warrior, I still didn’t know much about MMA but I did know that I had just seen a well-made, emotionally satisfying film.

6 Trailers For A Savage Weekend


Yay!  It’s the weekend and that means that it’s time for me to share 6 more of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation trailers.

1) The Babysitter (1969)

It’s a story ripped “from your own living room!”  That alone is enough to make this trailer a classic.

2) Savage Weekend (1976)

Of course, Rod Lurie later remade this film as Straw Dogs.

3) Ninja III: The Domination (1984)

It’s Kung Fu Exorcist!

4) Teenage Graffiti (1977)

“No one does it like the teenager do it…”  This kinda looks like Dazed and Confused as directed by a Crazies-era George Romero.  I actually like this trailer a lot.  It has this vaguely threatening subtext to it.

5) Blood Mania (1970)

This film explores “the twisted soul of insanity…” Somebody has to do it.

6) All The Colors of the Dark (1972)

This is another old school Italian giallo film featuring Ivan Rassimov.  Rassimov had the best hair in Italian horror.

A Quickie With Lisa Marie: The Guard (directed by John Michael McDonagh)


Have you seen The Guard yet?  If you haven’t, you need to.  This deceptively simple (and violent) Irish film is one of the best films of the year so far.  It’s also one of my personal favorites.

Boyle (played by the great Brendan Gleeson) is a casually corrupt but well-meaning Irish policeman who appears to have settled into a life of quiet complacency.  He spends his time caring for his aging mother, bragging (and perhaps lying) about his past career as a competitive swimmer, entertaining prostitutes, and taking the occasional acid trip.  As there’s little real crime taking place in the small coastal village that he calls home, Boyle is free to spend his workday playing video games and ignoring his far more serious partner, a rookie named McBride (played by Rory Keenan).  McBride is married to a mail order bride and, beneath his straight-laced exterior, has a secret of his own.  Things start to pick up for Boyle and McBride when an unidentified man is brutally murdered in a manner that suggests he fell victim to Satanists.  Meanwhile, cocky FBI agent Wendell Everett (Don Cheadle) is in the village, searching for three viscous drug smugglers (played by Liam Cunningham, Mark Strong, and David Wilmot).  Despite Wendell’s condescending attitude and Boyle’s own casual racism, the two of them soon discover that their two cases are connected and that there’s more to Boyle than originally meets the eyes…

In almost every way, The Guard is a triumph.  Director John Michael McDonagh (whose brother Martin directed Gleeson in In Bruges)  finds a perfect balance between comedy and tension and manages to maintain it throughout the entire film.  McDonagh has a wonderful eye for detail and the entire film is full of memorable characters who are quirky without ever being silly.  Though the villains (and their ultimate evil scheme) will be familiar to anyone who has ever seen an action film, Cunningham, Strong, and Wilmot are all believably ruthless and intimidating.  Don Cheadle is perfectly cast as the straight-laced Wendell and the film has a lot of fun with his “fish-out-of-water” attempts to bring American justice to the Irish coast. 

However, ultimately, this film is all about Brendan Gleeson.  For decades, Gleeson has been one of the most dependable character actors in the movies.  Whether he was playing a villain or a hero and regardless of the size of his role, Gleeson has always made an impression and he’s always left filmgoers like me wanting to see more of him.  Well, in The Guard, Gleeson gets to show us exactly what he can do and the result is one of the best performances of the year.  Whether he’s greeting a prostitute in an immaculate three-piece suit or having a secret meeting with the local representative of the IRA, Gleeson dominates the entire film and, most importantly, keeps us guessing about just who Boyle is.  Gleeson triumphs in The Guard and the end result is one of the best films of 2011.

David Fincher’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo: Trailer #2


Here’s the 2nd trailer for David Fincher’s bastadization rip-off remake version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

I’m just going to make just a few general comments:

1) This trailer is obviously a lot more plot-specific than the 1st trailer.  It’s also a lot less interesting.  The snow-filled landscapes still look impressive but the 1st trailer seemed to be fueled by an unstoppable force.  The 2nd trailer seems to be fueled by test groups.

2) I’ve always been honest about how much I loved Noomi Rapace’s performance in the original film.  Rooney Mara has some big shoes to fill.  In the scenes selected for this trailer, she looks like a little girl playing dress up.

3) Not surprisingly Daniel Craig’s Mikael seems to be a much more active and straight forward hero than Michael Nyqvist’s interpretation.  In fact, this trailer could just as easily be for the next James Bond film. 

4) Of course, this would be great if not for the fact that the best thing about both the original novel and the original film was that Lisbeth was nobody’s sidekick.

5) Christopher Plummer.  Again.

And finally,

6) The 1st trailer had a true grindhouse feel to it and that feeling is sadly missing from the 2nd.  Here’s the 1st trailer.  Watch and compare: