Category Archives: Horrorthon

And now, a holiday message from the TSL’s cat

Posted on by Doc Bowman

 

Hi, humans!

Doc Bowman here with a very special holiday message!

Tomorrow is Halloween, which my owners — the flame-haired one and the nice one — says is the greatest time of the year!  Usually, it’s the time when kids get candy, horror movies are on TV, and my owners get to play dress up or, if it’s anything like last year, barely get dressed at all.  Thing may be a little bit different this year, though.  There may not be as many people out because all the humans are supposed to be on lockdown and anyone who tries to have any sort of fun gets scolded faster than I get scolded for sharpening my claws on the living room drapes.  There might not be as many trick or treaters this year but that doesn’t mean that people won[t be out and about.

That brings me to my point.

Halloween is a wonderful time but it’s also a time when stupid people do bad things.  I’m a black cat so both the flame-haired and the nice-one say that I’m not going to be allowed go outside at all tomorrow.  They say it doesn’t matter how much I beg, I’m staying inside.  I know they’re doing the right thing but I’m still going to beg and knock things off of tables and counters because I’m a cat and that’s what I do.  And they’re going to hopefully give me a lot of treats and pet me to keep me happy, even though they’ll probably have to lock me in the flame-haired one’s room to keep me from running for the front door every time they open it for a trick or treater.  That’s just the way thing go at the cat’s house.

Tomorrow night, please make sure that all your pets are safely inside.  It may sound like a silly concern but not everyone out there is as nice and wonderful as my owners and the people who read this site!

Have a safe and happy Halloween everyone!

6 Trailers For October 30th

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

 

Halloween comes closer and that means that it’s time for another holiday edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers.  Today, we have 6 of my favorite Italian horror trailers!

  1. The Beyond (1981)

I’ve always liked the trailer for Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond.  It does a good job of capturing the dream-like amtosphere of Fulci’s classic film.

2. Raiders of Atlantis (1983)

Raiders of Atlantis is hardly my favorite Ruggero Deodato film but I do really like the trailer.  Add to that, I think this might be the only Deodato trailer that’s actually safe for work.  The trailer for Cannibal Holocaust features that body being found with the stake driven through it.  The House on the Edge of the Park trailer features the scene with straight razor.  Meanwhile, the trailer for Raiders of Atlantis has fun music and a laser-shooting statue!  It also has Tony King shouting, “Come on, come on, come on!”

3. Zombie 5: Killing Birds (1987)

This movie sucks but, for some reason, I’ve always found the trailer to be very effective.  I think it’s the scene with the woman smiling despite being pinned to the wall and apparently dead.  That’s pure nightmare fuel.

4. Spasmo (1974)

This is from director Umberto Lenzi.  I sometimes feel as if I’m the only person in the world who likes this film.  As for the trailer, I just enjoy the anguished cries of “Spasmo!  Spasmo!”

5. Lisa and the Devil (1973) 

This is one of my favorite Mario Bava films.  Yes, some of it is because the lead character is named Lisa.  I’ll admit it, I like my name.  However, it’s a really good film as well!

6. Tenebrae (1982)

And finally, here is the trailer for Dario Argento’s brilliant, Tenebrae!

Seriously, if you want to have a truly wonderful Halloween, watch some Italian horror!  If you haven’t already discovered Bava, Fulci, Argento, Lenzi, Soavi, D’Amato, and all the rest, now is the perfect time to do so!  Do it now before their work gets canceled by the online puritan mob.

(Always remember: invest in physical media.)

The Things You Find On Netflix: We Summon The Darkness (dir by Marc Meyers)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

We Summon The Darkness is a horror/comedy that has got a devilish little twist that I can’t spoil in this review.

That’s a shame because, believe me, I would love to spoil it.  I would love to tell you all about the twist and about how much I love the twit and how clever I felt it all was but really, this is a twist that you need to experience for yourself.  I don’t know if it’s really possible to go into a movie blind anymore but if there’s any movie that benefits from being viewed with as little foreknowledge as possible, it’s We Summon The Darkness.

I can tell you that that movie takes place in Indiana in 1988.  It follows six people — three women and three guys — over the course of one long and very eventful night.  It starts with Alexis (Alexandria Daddario), Val (Maddie Hasson),  and Bev (Amy Forsyth) heading to a heavy metal concert out in the middle of nowhere.  As they head to the concert, we see glimpses over an evangelist (Johnny Knoxville) railing against heavy metal and Satanism.  We also hear some random news reports about some recent murders, all of which appear to have been the work of Satanists.  It’s obvious that this film takes place in a very religious community, one that feels it is currently under attack from the forces of darkness.

At the concert, the girls meet up with three dorky guys, Mark (Keenan Johnson), Kovacs (Logan Miller), and Ivan (Austin Swift).  Ivan is the leader of the guys, an outspoken atheist who is clearly skeptical of all of this Satanic panic.  Mark, meanwhile, is celebrating one last hurrah before heading off to Los Angeles.  Alexis invites the boys to come back to her father’s mansion, which is apparently empty for the night.  The boys agree and….

….all Hell breaks loose.

And that’s all I’m going to tell you about the plot.  In fact, I probably shared too much already.  What I will say is that the film takes you by surprise.  Just from reading about the film’s opening few minutes, you may think you know who these characters are but, instead, they surprise you.  You may also think that you know how all of the chaos at the mansion is going to play out but again, the film surprises you.

We Summon The Darkness is a clever and intense mix of horror and satire, one that keeps the audience guessing.  From the strong opening to the twisty conclusion, this is a film that grabs your attention and refuses to let it go.  Director Marc Meyers does a great job of ramping up the tension and he’s helped by a wonderful cast, all of whom bring their odd characters to life.  Alexandra Daddario and Ivan Swift are the cast stand-outs, with Daddario especially tearing through the film like a force of nature.  Though I initially assumed that Johnny Knoxville’s role was an example of stunt casting, he actually gives a good performance as a character who turns out to be far more important than you might initially assume.

We Summon The Darkness can currently be summoned from Netflix and it’s worth the watch.

Here’s The Trailer For Songbird!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Judging from twitter, a lot of people are either outraged or pretending to be outraged about the upcoming film Songbird.  Songbird imagines a 2024 in which continued COVID lockdowns have transformed the world into a Hellish dystopia.

Speaking for myself, it sounds like the film is just being honest about how a lot of people are feeling right now.  If nothing else, a film like can be cathartic for people who are feeling worried.  Too often, when there’s a crisis, people are shamed for having doubts.  They’re ordered to forget about their fears and just trust the powers that be.  Unfortunately, when the powers that be have consistently shown themselves to be a bunch of out-of-touch elitists, it’s hard to take much comfort in them.  Certainly, when your leaders are saying, “You’re going to be locked down and if you complain, you’re going to be punished,” films like this seems like an inevitable by-product of a year’s worth of resentment.

Anyway, here’s the trailer for Songbird:

AMV of the Day: Secret (Another)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

To help to continue to promote the holiday spirit, here’s an AMV of the Day.

Anime: Another

Song: Secret by The Piercers

Creator: Tuyên Tuyên

(As always, please consider subscribing to this creator’s YouTube channel!)

Past AMVs of the Day

Horror on TV: Freakylinks 1.7 “Still I Rise” (dir by Joe Napolitano)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For tonight’s episode of Freakylinks, we have a little something called Still I Rise.  It has a zombie theme to it.  Towards the end of the episode, Ethan Embry goes a little crazy.  (Far crazier then he went on Rex Manning Day….)

(C’mon, you know I was going to have to work in a reference to Rex Manning Day eventually.)

This episode originally aired on January 12th, 2001.  And you can watch it below!

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: Chopping Mall (dir by Jim Wynorski)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

This 1986 film tells the story of what happens when one local mall decides that it’s had enough of thievery and vandalism.

First off, automatic locks and shutters are installed.  What that means is that, at a certain hour, anyone who is inside the mall is going to be trapped there until the morning.  Secondly, three robots are used as a security force.  They’re called Protectors and they roll around, looking for thieves and keeping people safe.  Don’t worry about getting mistaken for a thief, of course.  As long as you’ve got a badge, the protector will just say, “Thank you and have a good day.”

It all seems perfect but …. what if the robots malfunction?  What if they ignore the badges and just start killing anyone unlucky enough to be trapped in the mall for the night?  Surely, that could never happen, right?

Of course, it does happen.  Thanks to a freak electrical storm, the Protectors come to life and set out to keep the mall safe from intruders.  First, they kill the technicians that are supposed to keeping a watch over them.  Then, they kill a janitor named Walter Paisley (played, of course, by Dick Miller).  Then, they set off after the six attractive people who were having a sleep-over in one of the stores.

So, what did I learn from Chopping Mall?

Well, I was tempted to say that I learned not to shoplift but actually, no one in the movie gets in trouble for shoplifting.  I guess the main thing I learned is not to walk around the mall in my underwear because that definitely seems to be something that will cause the Protectors to blow up your head.

I also learned that, if you’re tapped in the mall with a bunch of killer robots, the best place to go is the sporting goods store because that store not only has a lot of automatic rifles but also an unlimited supply of ammunition.  Of course, I already learned that from Dawn of the Dead but it’s always good to be reminded….

Anyway, Chopping Mall is a lot of fun.  It’s undeniably dated.  Just the fact that everyone’s life revolves around a mall tells you just how dated it is.  I guess if they made the film now, it would have to take place at an Ikea store or maybe an Amazon warehouse.  But the fact that the film is dated is a part of what makes it so much fun to watch.  Seriously, it’s amazing all of the stuff that apparently used to go on at the local mall in the 80s.

Despite the fact that they have a bad habit of killing people, the Protectors are actually kind of cute.  If nothing else, they’re unfailingly polite.  You have to love the fact that they’ll wish you a nice day even after they’ve killed you.  Surprisingly enough, the humans are just as likable as the Protectors.  For a film about killer robots, Chopping Mall is surprisingly well-acted by a likable cast.  Russell Todd, who was the best-looking man to ever be killed by Jason Voorhees, is in this film and he’s as broodingly handsome here as he was in Friday the 13th Part II.

Chopping Mall is a good mix of humor and thrills and robots and exploding heads and Dick Miller.  This is 80s mall horror at its best!