Lisa Marie Adopts Puss In Boots (dir. by Chris Miller)


A few days ago, I finally went and saw Puss in Boots, the new animated entry into the Shrek franchise and a film that has spent (at least) two weeks at the top of the box office.  Now, before I launch into my review, I should admit that I’m biased.  I love cats, I love fairy tales, I loved all of the Shrek movies (even the ones that weren’t that good), and I love Antonio Banderas.  Puss in Boots is one of my favorite characters of all time and I fully expected to love this movie.  And you know what?

I did love it.

Taking place before Shrek, Puss in Boots follows the titular feline (voiced by Antonio Banderas, who seriously deserves some sort of Oscar for Best Sexy Voice) as he swashbuckles his way across Far Far Away.  Reuniting with his childhood friend Humpty Dumpty (Zach Galifianikis, and not Jonah Hill as I assumed while listening to his voice durin the film) and with the equally skilled cat thief Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayek), Puss finds himself stealing magic beans from the notorious outlaws Jack and Jill (Billy Bob Thornton and Amy Sedaris) and using the resulting beanstalk to help Kitty and Humpty to steal the goose that lays the golden eggs.  Along the way, we also get some flashbacks to Puss’s kittenhood at the orphanage and oh my God!, is it ever adorable.

Puss In Boots is a pretty simple film and, to be honest, it’s almost too simple.  There’s none of the subversive satire or subtext that distinguished the best of the Shrek films.  But then again, as a character, Puss in Boots has little of the existential angst that defined Shrek and, as a film, Puss in Boots probably makes the right decision to just keep things simple, cute, and fun.  When all is said and done, the main appeal of Puss in Boots is that he’s a cute little kitty who acts like a cute little kitty and who sounds exactly like Antonio Banderas.  He’s an adorable character and here, he stars in an adorable movie and that’s more than enough to make me happy.

6 Trailers For The 12th of November


Hello to everyone out there in the real world!  Because of some family obligations, I’m having to do a bit of a rush job on this week’s edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers.  As such, I fear my commentary is probably a lot less witty this time around.  I apologize and promise to be a lot funnier next week.  Until then, feel free to supply your own witty commentary to go along with the trailers.

1) Zandalee (1991)

To be honest, I’ve never seen this movie but Jeff says that this is one of his favorite films of all time and just from watching the trailer, I think I can guess why.  As a sidenote, check out the split second appearance from Steve Buscemi, looking all young and kinda hot in his weasel-like why.

2) The Private Files of J. Edgar Hoover (1977)

Not to be confused with the current Leonardo DiCaprio film.  I get the feeling that the Private Files Of J. Edgar Hoover is probably a lot more fun.

3) The Evil (1978)

It’s not just evil … it’s THE EVIL!

4) 976-Evil (1988)

Continuing the theme, here’s something called 976-Evil.  Landlines are the devil’s refuge.

5) Don’t Go In The Woods (1981)

“Don’t…don’t…don’t…don’t…”  Seriously, though, this movie looks so bad but I’ve read reviews from several people who insist that it’s just bad enough to secretly be good.  Why is everyone always carrying those gigantic backpacks in these movies?  How did people put them on their backs without tipping over?  That’s just one reason why you’ll never catch me camping.  The other, of course, is that I have no desire to wake up out in the middle of nowhere and discover a chupacabra staring back at me.

6) Battletruck (1982)

The title pretty much says it all.

Finally, in conclusion, this is the 70th entry in my series of grindhouse film posts.  It’s hard for me to believe that I’ve done so many because I’ve enjoyed putting this 70th post together just as much as I enjoyed doing the first.  I hope you’ve enjoy watching them as much as I enjoy putting them together.  As much as I love trailers, I love getting your feedback regarding them even more.  Thank you for continuing to read what I write and put up with me in general and, as always, stay supple!  Je t’aime, mon ange.

6 Quickies With Lisa Marie: Atlas Shrugged, Beautiful Boy, Crazy Stupid Love, The Devil’s Double, Sarah’s Key, and Water For Elephants


For my first post-birthday review post, I want to take a look at 6 films that I saw earlier this year but, for whatever reason, I haven’t gotten a chance to review yet.  My goal has been to review every single 2011 release that I’ve seen this year.  So far, I’ve only seen 106 2011 films and I still need to review 21 of them.  So, without further ado, let’s “gang bang this baby out” as a former employer of mine used to say. (*Shudder*  Seriously, what a creepy thing to say…)

1) Atlas Shrugged, Part One (dir. by Paul Johansson)

What to say about Atlas Shrugged, Part One?  When I recently rewatched it OnDemand with a friend of mine who had just gotten back from Occupying somewhere, he threw a fit as soon as he heard wealthy 1 percenter Graham Beckel declaring, “I am on strike!”  When I first saw it earlier in the year, in a theater full of strangers, they broke out into applause when they heard the same line.  Atlas Shrugged is a wonderfully divisive film.   If you’re a political person, your enjoyment of this film will probably come down to which news network  you watch. If you enjoy those MSNBC spots where Rachel Maddow won’t shut up about the freakin’ Hoover Dam, you’ll probably hate Atlas Shrugged.  If you truly believe that Fox News is “fair and balanced,” chances are you’ll enjoy it.  But what if you’re like me and the only politics you follow are the politics of film and you only bow at the altar of cinema?  Well, I enjoyed Atlas Shrugged because the film really is a grindhouse film at heart.  It’s an uneven, low-budget film that has a few good performances (Beckel and Taylor Schilling), several bad performances, and ultimately, it goes totally against what establishment films have conditioned us to expect when we go to the movies.  Ultimately, the film is a big middle finger extended at both the film and the political establishments and who can’t get behind that?  Add to that, Roger Ebert hated it and when was the last time he was right about anything?

2) Beautiful Boy (dir. by Shawn Ku)

I’ve read a lot of rapturous reviews of this film online and my aunt Kate loved it when she saw it at the Dallas Angelika earlier this year.  So, admittedly, when I watched this film via OnDemand, I had pretty high hopes and expectations but, unfortunately, none of those expectations came anywhere close to being met.  In the film, two of my favorite performers — Michael Sheen and Maria Bello — play the middle-class parents who have to deal with the consequences (both emotional and physical) of a terrible crime perpetrated by their son.  The film is based on the Virginia Tech massacre and both Sheen and Bello give excellent performances but overall, the film feels like a thoroughly shallow exploration of some various serious issues.  Ultimately, the film’s refusal to provide an explanation for the crime feels less like a brave, artistic choice and more like a cop-out.  The film is less abstract than Gus Van Sant’s Elephant and Denis Villeneuve’s Polytechnique but it’s also a lot less effective.

3)Crazy, Stupid Love (dir. by John Requa and Glenn Ficarra)

I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive Steve Carell for abandoning The Office and forcing upon me the current, almost painful season of the show.  Still, I can’t totally blame him because the guy is totally a film star and he proves it in Crazy, Stupid Love by holding his own with other certifiable film stars like Ryan Gosling, Kevin Bacon, Marisa Tomei, Julianne Moore, and Emma Stone.  In the film, Julianne Moore plays Carell’s wife who leaves him for a coworker (played by Kevin Bacon, doing his charming jerk routine).  The depressed Carell is taken under the wing of womanizer Gosling who teaches Carell how to be more confident and appealing.  Things seem to be working out well until Gosling starts going out with Carell’s daughter (played by Emma Stone).  The movie, itself, isn’t anything special and it’s really kind of a mess but it’s saved by a massively appealing cast.  And, by the way, Ryan Gosling —très beau!  Seriously.

4) The Devil’s Double (dir. by Lee Tamahori)

Taking place in pre-Desert Storm Iraq, The Devil’s Double claims to tell the true story of Latif Yahia, an Iraqi who was forced to serve as the double for the sociopathic young dictator-in-training Uday Hussien.  I’ve read that there’s some debate as to how faithful The Devil’s Double is to the facts of the story and it is true that Latif is portrayed as being almost too good to be true but no matter.  The Devil’s Double is a compelling and oddly fascinating little gangster film, one that manages to show the dangerous appeal of the excessive lifestyle of a man like Uday Hussien without ever actually being seduced by it.   The film is dominated by Dominic Cooper, who gives a great performance playing both the tortured Latif and the cheerfully insane Uday. 

5) Sarah’s Key (dir by Gilles Paquet-Brenner)

Sarah’s Key tells two stories at once and, the result, is a film that feels very schizophrenic in quality.  The better part of the film deals with Sarah, a 10 year-old Jewish girl living in Nazi-occupied France.  When Sarah and her parents are sent to a concentration camp, her younger brother is left behind in Paris.  Sarah eventually manages to escape and desperately tries to get back to Paris to rescue her brother.  Meanwhile, in the modern-day, a journalist (Kristen Scott Thomas) researches Sarah’s story and discovers that her French husband’s family has a connection of their own with Sarah’s story.  The film is compelling and heart-breaking as long as it concentrates on Sarah but, unfortunately, the modern-day scenes feel forced and predictable and the end result is a film that’s never quite as good as it obviously could have been.

6) Water For Elephants (dir. by Francis Lawrence)

Look, I make no apologies — I freaking loved this movie.  Yes, plotwise, this film feels almost like a parody and yes, so much of this film was over-the-top and kinda silly but I don’t care.  I loved this film for the old-fashioned, melodramatic, and rather campy spectacle that it is.  Robert Pattinson plays a Depression-era Ivy League college student-turned-hobo who ends up joining the circus and falling in love with Reese Whitherspoon, the wife of insane circus owner, Christoph Waltz.  Pattinson isn’t much of an actor but he’s easy on the eyes and he and Whitherspoon have just enough chemistry to remain watchable.  The film, however, is totally dominated by Waltz who is both charming and scary.  The next time your man makes you sit through anything starring Jason Statham, you make him watch Water for Elephants.

Quickie Review: Hellboy: Blood and Iron


Guillermo Del Toro will forever be one of the heroes of comic book fans everywhere due to his bringing Mike Mignola’s Hellboy comic book franchise from the printed page to the silver screen. He first brought the Big Red Guy with the 2004 film adaptation of the same name. The film was a modest success and brought the titular character to a whole new group of fans. In 2008, Del Toro came out with the bigger and more epic sequel, Hellboy II: The Golden Army. What some fans of the character sometimes forget or didn’t even realize was that in-between these two films were two direct-to-dvd releases of the animated variety. The first to come out was Hellboy: Sword of Storms in 2006. While I enjoyed that animated film it would be the follow-up dvd release, Hellboy: Blood and Iron which truly captured the essence of the comic books even moreso than the two live-action films.

Hellboy: Blood and Iron would combine parallel storylines about Hellboy and his surrogate father’s, Trevor Bruttenholm, encounter with one Erzsebet Ondrushko also known in occult circles as Elizabeth Bathory the Blood Countess. According to the film, Erzsebet would bathe in the blood of innocent, young girls. The film also makes Erzsebet a follower and disciple of the Mediterranean goddess of witchcraft and sorcery, Hecate.

One storyline would play out in reverse chronological order and take place in 1939 as a much younger Trevor Bruttenholm travels to Eastern Europe to investigate a series of murders that locals have attributed to the return of the Blood Countess. The other storyline moves to the present as Hellboy and his teammates from the B.P.R.D. (Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense) investigate the supposed hauntings of the estate of a wealthy businessman. This would be an estate that would be the center piece of a sort of haunted amusement park with the Blood Countess and the legends surrounding her as the main attraction.

Hellboy: Blood and Iron does a great job of mixing action, horror and the occult without one or the other overshadowing the rest. The film takes some of it’s ideas from Mike Mignola’s (creator of the Hellboy franchise) Hellboy graphic novel, Wake the Devil, and screenwriter Kevin Hopps does a good job of taking those ideas and creating something new yet similar as well. The film also benefited from the return of the cast of the live-action Hellboy films to voice their respective characters in this animated film. There’s Ron Perlman in his gruff and sardonic best as the title character. Selma Blair returns to voice Hellboy’s closest friend in the redheaded pyrokine Liz Sherman with Doug Jones and John Hurt rounding it out as Abe Sapien and Trevor Bruttenholm.

The animation is not the highest level but for a direct-to-dvd affair it more than holds up and really captures the look and feel of the comic books it was based on. Yet, while an animated film this one wouldn’t be appropriate for little kids to watch. For a “cartoon” it’s quite violent with themes of witchcraft, vampirism and blood sacrifice prevalent from beginning to end. It’s actually quite scary in certain sections especially whenever the resurrected Erzsebet appeared. I don’t think most animated films ever involved a sequence of a tub full of fresh, hot blood waiting to be used as bathwater.

For those willing to learn more and understand the appeal of the Hellboy comic books to legions of fans this animated film was a good example. Hellboy: Blood and Iron was great from beginning to end especially how it interwove not just the vampiric and pagan legends surrounding Erzebet Ondrushko, but also little tidbits of information and character development which added to the backstory of not just Hellboy but those closest to him. Plus, this animated film had two character’s whose names were variants of the name Lisa.

Quick Film Review – Weird Science (dir. by John Hughes)


Today, the Shattered Lens is kicking off a special birthday celebration for our fellow contributor, Lisa Marie Bowman, with a set of “Lisa” themed reviews. My contribution to the Everything Lisa festivities is one of my favorite John Hughes films, Weird Science. I love this movie.

Weird Science is basically about two teens, Gary (Anthony Michael Hall, a Hughes favorite) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell Smith), who have the house to themselves and come up with a crazy idea to build themselves a girl. With the use of a computer and a modem, & a little Einstein & Mozart, they end up with Lisa (Kelly LeBrock), who acts as something of a genie in their lives. It requires a bit of suspension of belief but for the subject matter, it’s actually fun.

Neither Wyatt nor Gary are very popular individuals. They get picked on by a set of wisecracking bullies (played by Robert Downey Jr. And Robert Rusler), never get invited to any parties and are pretty much left to daydream about how cool they could end up being, only if. Wyatt also has his brother, Chet (a pre-Aliens Bill Paxton in a funny turn), who extorts things from him at every turn. This is where Lisa comes in.

One of the first things she does is to take the boys out on the town. It’s here that she asks them what her name is going to be. The boys decide on Lisa as the name, and she runs with it (even changing the license plate on the car). While the partying seems like something completely out of their comfort zone, by the end of the night, they’re well adjusted. Mind you, it’s helped with a lot of drinking and laughing.

Eventually, the boys slowly grow in popularity after being seen at the mall with Lisa and her throwing the biggest party in town at their house. Like with every John Hughes movie, there’s always a message here, and the boys go a little overboard in chasing their popularity when they try to create another girl for the bullies (which of course goes wrong in so many ways). Eventually, Lisa decides that what the boys really need is something that will build their character. Bringing in a group of Road Warrior-like motorcycle thugs, Wyatt and Gary engage in a standoff that they eventually win (which also wins them kudos).

I’ve seen this movie so many times, it’s ridiculous. When I got my first car, I decided to name it “Lisa”, after this movie and the line that a drunken Gary yells while Wyatt drives – “He doesn’t even have his license, Lisa!” While it may not be Hughes’ magnum opus, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, it holds a special place for me.

A Happy Birthday shout-out goes out to our own Lisa. Have a great day today!!

6 Trailers To Prevent Me From Getting Into One Of My Bitchy Moods


I am so freaking depressed right now.  Why?  Because, as I sit here typing this, I am about to embark on my last weekend as a carefree, hedonistic young woman.  That’s right.  I’ve kinda sort got a birthday (bleh) on November 9th.  Yes, I’m a Scorpio.  Are you surprised?  Anyway, getting older means getting boring and that really sucks and I’ll just leave it at that.  Let’s see if a new edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers can cheer me up.

1) Survive (1976)

From director Rene Cardona, Jr. comes “the most shocking episode in human survival!”  This is why I hate to fly.  Well, that and intrusive security measures… (True story: when me and my sisters went to Italy, all four of us were patted down and frisked by the grabby fascists at DFW and it was such a demeaning experience that I ended up crying during the entire subsequent flight.)

2) The Hideous Sun Demon (1959)

It’s thermo-dynamic horror from outer space!  Sometimes, I wish I had been born in 1942 or ’43 so that I could have had the experience of seeing trailers like this every single day but then again, I’d also probably be really old right now.  Plus, my name would probably be something like Vivien because I like to think that my mom would have named me Vivien Leigh.

3) The Asphyx (1973)

This trailer is about death, which is what I’ll be one step closer to on the 9th.

4) The Wraith (1986)

Apparently, even Charlie Sheen was young once.

5) The Fury (1979)

I recently watched this one on DVD and I have to give this trailer an aging nod of approval because it actually makes the film look kinda sorta exciting.  It’s actually one of the most boring movies I’ve ever seen.

6) Cat People (1982)

Watching this trailer makes me wish I could turn into a cat and live forever.

Well, I’m sorry to say that the movies cannot stop the march of time, regardless of how much I wish they could.  But at least they do make my time here just a little bit more bearable.

Checking in! A Very Harold & Kumar 3-D Christmas


Normally, I don’t review movies.

Well, actually, normally I don’t post at all, since I never finish video games anymore. I’m working on that. But today was special! I got a free pass to see an advance screening of this film (and by advance, I mean people on the East Coast are about to see it, I’m sure…but moving on…). I initially wasn’t going to go, having failed utterly in my attempts to enjoy the previous Harold and Kumar offering. I’m sure the target audience for these films are people who don’t know who Cheech Marin or Tommy Chong are, but until marijuana is legalized everywhere, this kind of stoner humour is going to have its own demographic to target. I’m okay with that! The key for any film-maker, regardless of genre or intent, is please – please god – tell a good story. Make a good film! That’s all I ask. Write a script that doesn’t suck, get some actors who can play the characters you’re drawing, and find a director who has a vision of what the movie will look like, and you’re generally going to create something watchable. Some of those movies are still going to be terrible misfires, but I always enjoy the effort being put forth.

So is this latest iteration of Harold and Kumar a good movie? I’m surprised to find myself saying… yes, I thought so. Now, I will admit, this movie is almost certainly going to play better to a sold out theater (my particular screening was on the I-Max in 3-D) on a huge screen. When the entire audience is laughing and having a good time, it’s easy to get swept up in the momentum of the film. I’m usually not a huge ‘out loud’ laughter guy at the movies, but I did find myself cracking frequent smiles, and some parts incited me to laugh out loud.

The film traces yet another night-long misadventure that teams up perennial screw-up Kumar, still living in the same junked apartment and getting high every day (and once again without a job), with straight-laced family-man Harold, who has married his heart-throb Maria and landed a cushy job on Wal-Street. The pals begin the film estranged, and part of the journey that we take with Harold and Kumar is them coming to realize how important their friendship is. Some of the messages in the film are surprisingly heartwarming, despite the comic ridiculousness of every situation that the unlucky pair find themselves in. All of the familiar characters are there, albeit in cameo appearances (even Neil Patrick Harris, though his sequence was particularly fun), and we add some new faces who frame a story that is basically what you’d expect. All of the locations and situations are new, but we are definitely treading familiar ground. Still, I thought this movie felt a good deal fresher than Harold and Kumar Escape Guantanamo Bay. It has a spirit of fun and a great energy throughout the entire ride, and neither the highs nor the lulls felt overdone to me. The script is fairly tight, all things considered, and breezes in at an 89 minute running time which feels just right.

Oh, and one last thing. For once, yes, I actually thought that the 3-D added something to the film. A lot of the film’s elements are coming at you off of the screen, and the film has an incredibly refreshing sense of humour about how ridiculous it is that a Harold and Kumar movie is in 3-D at all. It was intended to be released in 3-D, as opposed to the cute studio trick of using a computer to add 3-D effects in post to jack up ticket prices, and the effort pays off. By the end I still found myself a little annoyed with the uncomfortable 3-D glasses, and I’m still hardly a champion of paying a premium for 3-D effects, but this film does make good use of them. I’m sure it would still be enjoyable even in 2-D, but in this case I’d recommend seeing the 3-D version.

Merry Christmas, folks.

A Quickie With Lisa Marie: The Rum Diary (dir. by Bruce Robinson)


My sister Erin and I went and saw The Rum Diary on Tuesday and wow, was it ever a disappointment.  The commercials make it look like a wild comedy featuring Johnny Depp looking all sexy and decadent but, in reality, the film is kind of a mess that is almost schizophrenic in its attempts to be more than the sum of its parts.

Johnny Depp plays Paul Kemp, an alcoholic writer who goes to Puerto Rico in the early 60s and takes a job writing horoscopes for the local newspaper.  The job leads to him drinking a lot and hanging out with characters who are sweaty and so generally grimy that it’s borderline revolting to even see them on-screen.  (Giovanni Ribisi, giving a distressingly bad performance, is the main offender.)  Paul also ends up kinda befriending (but not really) a businessman named Sanderson (Aaron Eckhart), who you know is a bad guy because he’s the only character who dresses in pastels.  Anyway, Sanderson has a girlfriend named Chenault (Amber Heard) and Chenault really has no purpose for existing other than for Paul to fall in love with her and save her from a terrible future of being married to a rich, handsome man.  The film starts out as a comedy and then, after about an hour, it suddenly turns all serious and preachy.  It’s as if the film can’t decide whether it wants to be an unfunny comedy or a laughable drama.

Luckily, Johnny Depp is on screen for nearly the entire film and, as we watched, Erin and I quickly learned that the best way to enjoy The Rum Diary is just to allow yourself to be carried away by the Deppness of it all.  Don’t think about how the film’s kind of a mess and how Aaron Eckhart is more of a designated villain than a real villain and ignore the fact that Chenault is a sexist fantasy and tune out the preachy dialogue and try not to think about how everyone appears to have had more fun making the film than you’re having watching it, and just concentrate on Johnny Depp being all kinds of sexy.  

If you do that, The Rum Diary is a tolerable 2 hours.

Horror On The Lens: White Zombie (dir. by Victor Halperin)


Happy Halloween!

For my final public domain horror film of this wonderful month, allow me to present to you 1932’s White Zombie.  Starring (and completely dominated) by Bela Lugosi, White Zombie is considered by many to be the first true zombie film.  Watching this film today is an interesting experience if just because these aren’t the zombies that we’re used to.  These are Pre-Romero, old school zombies.  These are Serpent and the Rainbow zombies.  Some of the acting in White Zombie (to be charitable) pretty bad but no matter.  The film’s visuals have a hypnotic, dream-like quality to them and it’s a truly important piece of horror film history.

Trailers For Halloween, Part 3


Happy October 31st!  In honor of one of the greatest months ever, here’s part three of my special Halloween edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers.  Enjoy!

1) House of Dark Shadows (1970)

Apparently, this film is being remade by Johnny Depp and Tim Burton.

2) Night of Dark Shadows (1971)

And then, of course, there was a sequel. 

3) Children Shouldn’t Pay With Dead Things (1972)

I agree!

4) Don’t Look In The Basement (1972)

In the best grindhouse tradition, the first part of this trailer is made up of scenes from Last House On The Left.  On another note, one of the benefits of living in north Texas is that we don’t have to deal with basements and all the icky little things that tend to live in basements.

5) The Crater Lake Monster (1977)

Wow, this looks bad.  But I just love the way the guy narrating the trailer tries to convince us otherwise.

6) Phantasm (1979)

Everyone always seems to freak out when I admit that I haven’t seen this movie yet.  I do own it on DVD, however and someday, I will watch it.  Promise!

Happy Halloween!