Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on the Street 4.22 “Work Related”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

Oh my God, this episode….

Episode 4.22 “Work Related”

(Dir by Jean de Segonzac, originally aired on May 17th, 1996)

At first, the fourth season finale of Homicide: Life On The Street feels like a typical episode of Homicide.

Lewis, having just returned from his honeymoon, obsesses on a case in which a man was killed by a bowling ball dropped from an overpass.  Kellerman doesn’t feel that the case can be solved.  The murder was just too random.  Lewis, however, refuses to let it go.  As Kellerman soon deduces, Lewis doesn’t want to go home because he and his new wife are already fighting.

Meanwhile, Bayliss is frustrated by Pembleton’s refusal to act like a sentimental new father.  While Bayliss talks about the wonder of life, Pembleton coldly talks about how expensive it’s going to be to raise a child.  It’s the typical Bayliss/Pembleton dynamic.  Bayliss wants his partner to open up.  Pembleton wants to keep things strictly business.  Bayliss wants to find the deeper meaning of every event.  Pembleton wants to remain rational and focused on doing his job.  They’re both spiritual men, in their way.  It’s just that Bayliss is a seeker whereas Pembleton is a man on a mission.

Bayliss and Pembleton investigate a shooting at a fast food restaurant.  It doesn’t take much of an investigation to realize that the shooter was a recently fired employee and that his accomplice was a friend who still worked there.  When Pembleton and Bayliss get the friend into the box, it seems like it’s going to be an easy investigation.

That’s until Pembleton suddenly yells out, grabs his head, and has a violent seizure.  He collapses into the lap of a venal defense attorney who quickly shoves Pembleton away.  Pembleton is rushed to the hospital.  He’s had a stroke.  The rest of the Homicide squad sees a comatose Pembleton lying in bed.  But the viewer has seen the inside of Pembleton’s mind, where Pembleton is currently lying in a coffin and screaming to be released.

Agck!

I knew this episode was coming.  Ever since I started reviewing Homicide, people have told me about the stroke episode.  That said, it still took me by surprise when Pembleton collapsed.  Pembleton has always been the strongest character on the show, the one who never lost control and whose mind could unravel any alibi and solve any mystery.  Pembleton crashing to the ground, helpless and unable to speak, was not easy to witness.  Andre Braugher was a great actor and he proved it in this episode.

That was how the fourth season ended, with Pembleton lying in a hospital bed and Giardello trying to keep the squad focused on doing their job while Bayliss — poor Bayliss! — found himself once again trying to understand the cruelty of fate.  It was powerful, it was disturbing, it was sad, and I think it was the type of thing that only a show as good as Homicide could have pulled off.

Next week, we begin season 5.  I’m almost scared to see what happens.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.12 “The Mamas and the Papas”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime and Tubi!

This episode, a select few are getting married.

Episode 1.12 “The Mamas and the Papas”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 11th, 1989)

For a class project, the students are all spending a week seeing what it’s like to be married.  What’s odd is that there are only three couples despite the fact that there are a bunch of other students in the class.  Basically, six people are taking part in the project and the rest of the class is just there to watch.  That sounds like an incredibly boring week for the rest of the class but whatever.

Zack has been paired up with Kelly.  Slater has been paired up Jessie.  Lisa has been paired up with Screech.  When Lisa complains about having to be Screech’s wife, Mr. Belding says that the couples were selected alphabetically.  However, if that were true, Screech Powers would be married to Jessie Spano and A.C. Slater would be married to Lisa Turtle.  Seriously, Mr. Belding’s a liar.  How much did Screech pay him?

Lisa starts to twitch violently whenever Screech is near.  When Screech announce that he’s moving into her bedroom, she nearly has a seizure and, quite frankly, I don’t blame her.  This is a terrible class project.  Because the project is putting Lisa’s health at risk, she is allowed to annul her marriage to Screech.  Yay!  Instead, she is reassigned to be Slater and Jessie’s daughter while Screech becomes Zack and Kelly’s son.  When Kelly sees how negatively Zack reacts to being Screech’s father, she wonders if he’s the man to whom she wants to be fake married.

The stuff with Kelly and Zack and Lisa and Screech is pretty dumb.  Slater and Jessie is where the action’s at.  This is the first episode to really establish that Slater is a sexist pig and the Jessie is a straw feminist.  Jessie wants to keep her maiden name.  Jessie wants to have a job outside of the home.  Jessie feels that she should be an equal partner in the marriage.  What’s funny is that I agree with Jessie on all of these matters and yet I still laughed whenever Slater said, “Oink oink, baby.”  That’s largely due to the fact that Jessie was written to be so strident and shrill that her feminism and her politics often felt rather performative.  Slater may have been a chauvinist but at least he was honest about it and he was loyal to his friends.  Plus, he was cute.  (It’s high school, folks.  People are shallow in high school.)

This episode ends with Jessie apologizing to Mr. Belding for not being able to make her marriage to Slater work.  Belding says that sometimes, two people just aren’t meant to be together and there’s no shame in that.  (As a child of divorced parents, I always appreciated the fact that this episode was honest about the fact that not every marriage can be saved.)  Zack and Kelly’s marriage survives, at least until the project ends.

This episode …. actually, it really wasn’t that bad.  By the standards of Saved By The Bell, it was actually one of their better episodes.  As a general rule, the more time that is spent with Jessie and Slater fighting, the better the episode.  Still, forcing Lisa to marry Screech …. that’s just mean.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/8/26 — 2/14/26


The Winter Olympics (All week, Peacock and NBC)

I wrote about Korey and Cory this week.  On Tuesday, I watched as they won the Silver Medal in a match with Sweden and I have to admit that I was depressed for the rest of the day.  That’s nothing against the Swedish team.  They did a good job and they earned the win.  It’s just that I had gotten so invested in Korey and Cory that it was hard for me to accept that 1) it was over and 2) it ended with them coming in second.

I’ve watched the Olympics off-and-on since then but I have to admit none of the other athletes have really captured my attention the way that Korey and Cory did.  I do like our hockey teams, because they’re all blue collar and they don’t talk badly about my country.  Our skiers appear to be a bunch of spoiled rich kids.

I’ll definitely rewatch the figure skating.

Also watched and reviewed:

  1. Baywatch (Tubi)
  2. CHiPs (Prime)
  3. Decoy (Tubi)
  4. Degrassi: The Next Generation (Tubi)
  5. 1st & Ten (Tubi)
  6. Freddy’s Nightmares (Tubi)
  7. Highway to Heaven (Tubi)
  8. Homicide (Peacock)
  9. The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)
  10. Miami Vice (Prime)
  11. Pacific Blue (Tubi)
  12. Saved By The Bell (Tubi)
  13. Saved By The Bell: The New Class (Prime)
  14. St. Elsewhere (Daily Motion)

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.13 “Home Cort”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, we meet John D. Cort.

Episode 1.13 “Home Cort”

(Dir by Paul Schneider, originally aired on January 12th, 1990)

There’s a new lifeguard on the beach!

His name is John D. Cort (John Allen Nelson) and he’s a former Navy SEAL with a dark and mysterious past.  He drives a motorcycle.  He wears a cowboy hat.  He has a quick smile.  He’s dangerous and he’s now a member of the cast.  I’m going to guess that he was added to bring some mystery to the show.  Originally, Eddie Kramer was supposed to be the dangerous lifeguard with the mysterious past but Billy Warlock was just too earnest and young to really pull that off.  John D. Cort, on the other hand, is at least 40.

Now, I said that Cort was the “new lifeguard on the beach.”  That’s not quite true.  It turns out that he’s actually an old lifeguard who was a friend of Mitch’s and Craig’s.  In fact, it’s insinuated that their friendship is legendary amongst the lifeguards.  Of course, no one’s ever mentioned Cort before but whatever.  Baywatch was never exactly known for its continuity.

Cort says that he’s returned to the beach so that he can work as a lifeguard for ten days and keep his eligibility.  Actually, he’s been hired to retrieve a mysterious package that’s at the bottom of the ocean.  He recruits his old friend, Sam (Bruce Fairbairn), to take him out into the ocean so that he can retrieve the package.  However, an explosion costs Sam his life and forces Cort to deal with the fact that someone wants him dead.  Who wants Cort dead?  Some guy named Jack Burton (Drew Snyder).  Why does he want Cort dead?  Who cares?  I got bored with the whole thing so I missed his motive.  I could go back and find out but, as far as I’m concerned, if the answer was worth knowing, I wouldn’t have gotten bored the first time around.  The story is really just an excuse to introduce Cort.  At the end of the episode, he inherits Sam’s surf shop and makes peace with being a regular member of the cast for at least the rest of the season.

As for the B-plot, Shauni and and Jill go into business selling sandwiches on the beach!  They take a lot of business away from crooked sandwich hustler Buddy Semple (played by George Clooney’s future production partner, Grant Heslov).  Buddy reacts by hiring two women in bikinis to hand out his sandwiches.  That’s the entire plot.

Oh, this episode.  I’ll be so happy when the first season of Baywatch is over with and the show fully and cheerfully embraces the stupidity of its concept.  Until then …. welcome to the beach, John Cort!

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Alan Parker Edition


4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films is just what it says it is, 4 (or more) shots from 4 (or more) of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films lets the visuals do the talking.

82 years ago, on this date, the late director Alan Parker was born in London.  One of the many British directors, like the Scott brothers and Adrian Lyne, who began by directing advertisements, Parker went on to become a director known for both his intense visual style and his revolutionary use of music as a storytelling device.  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Alan Parker Films

Midnight Express (1978, dir by Alan Parker, DP: Michael Seresin)

Fame (1980, dir by Alan Parker, DP: Michael Seresin)

Pink Floyd — The Wall (1982, dir by Alan Parker, DP: Peter Bizou)

Angel Heart (1987, dir by Alan Parker, DP: Michael Seresin)

 

 

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial for Halloween!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 9 pm et, Deanna Dawn will be hosting #ScarySocial!  The movie?  The original Halloween!  

If you want to join us this Saturday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

The film is available on Prime!

Music Video of the Day: All Time High, performed by Rita Coolidge (1983, dir by ????)


Happy Valentine’s Day!

Today’s music video of the day is for the song that was, of course, the theme song for the 1983 James Bond film, Octopussy.  Apparently, the producers realized that there weren’t many words that comfortably rhymed with the movie’s title so they tasked John Barry and Tim Rice with coming up with a theme song that would still be radio friendly.  They came up with All Time High.  I know that some consider this to be a lesser Bond theme song but I absolutely love it.  Some of that might be because this is one of the few songs that I can actually sing all the way through without going off-key.

And it’s the perfect Valentine’s Day song!  I’ll be singing this song later tonight.  Actually, I’ll be singing a medly of James Bond theme songs tonight.  It’s kind of a Valentine’s Day tradition….

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.2 “Heartbreak Hotel”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week, two more people fall victim to Springwood, Ohio.

Episode 2.2 “Heartbreak Hotel”

(Dir by William Malone, originally aired on October 15th, 1989)

“Learn to use the proper pronouns …. OR DIE!” Freddy shouts at us this week and he has a point.

When tabloid reporter Roger Dittano (John Stinson) is sent to Springwood to write a story about an Elvis sighting at a local hotel, he discovers that everything he writes comes true.  He writes about a woman having a demon child and, a few minutes later, a pregnant maid goes into labor and gives birth to a deformed stillborn baby.  Roger writes about a man being electrocuted in a bathtub and, shortly afterwards, he’s nearly electrocuted while taking a bath.

When Roger discovers that a newspaper publisher (played by Stacy Keach, Sr., father of the better-known Stacy Keach) is staying at the hotel, he comes up with the following story.  “Newspaper publisher leaves empire to reporter after he drinks poison.”  Hey, Roger — who drank the poison!?  The reporter or the newspaper publisher?  As you can guess, Roger’s vague wording leading to him drinking arsenic and dying as the publisher laughs and says, “Oh, and I’m leaving my empire to you!”

That was actually a pretty clever story.  For once, the show actually did the work to set up the twist.  Roger spends the entire episode being told that he’s a sloppy writer.  In the end, that sloppiness kills him.

The second story also has a twist but it’s nowhere near as interesting.  An amnesiac named Jerry (Richard Cox) wakes up in a hospital after a car accident.  A woman (Anne Lockhart) claims to be the Jerry’s wife.  A teenage girl (Tammy Ames) claims to be Jerry’s daughter.  Jerry goes home with both of them and is soon haunted by nightmares in which he sees himself killing a man.  You can probably guess that Jerry is not married and he does not have a daughter.  This story had a lot of noir atmosphere — right down to a saxophone wailing away on the soundtrack — but it was also pretty predictable.

That said, this episode was still an improvement on just about season one episode.  Two good episodes of Freddy’s Nightmares in a row?  I’m as stunned as anyone.

Film Review: Camp Murder (dir by Mark Polonia)


The sad truth of the matter is that the Friday the 13th films haven’t done much for the New Jersey summer camp industry.

Seriously, Crystal Lake is such a pretty location.  The lake looks beautiful with the sun rising over it and the water literally beckons you to toss off all your clothes and go for a swim.  The woods feature green trees and are full of animals and mysterious shacks.  The nearby town is home to people like Enos the Truck Driver, Ralph the Prophet, and a countless number of waitresses who will give you directions and gossip if you ask politely.  And then you’ve got Camp Crystal Lake, which has cabins and a generator and an archery range and a lot of outdoor showers.  Seriously, Camp Crystal Lake encompasses the natural beauty that New Jersey was once known for.

Unfortunately, none of that matters.  A few stupid camp counselors managed to get themselves killed by Betsy Palmer and now, no one wants to go to New Jersey anymore.  Before Friday the 13th, New Jersey was a state for the entire family.  After Friday the 13th, it became a state for a different sort of family.  My point is that the Friday the 13th films are directly responsible for the Mafia taking over New Jersey.  I don’t care how much they blame Lucky Luciano.  Jason Voorhees is responsible for organized crime.

Anyway, that’s my long-winded explanation for why no one wants to vacation at Camp Crystal Lake anymore.  It’s now known as Camp Blood and no one wants to hang out at a place where they might get killed or, even worse, get lost in the Pine Barrens.  Instead, people decide to vacation at much safer locations …. like Camp Murder!

2020’s Camp Murder takes place at the camp of the same nickname.  Throughout the film, everyone talks about what a dump Camp Murder is but, from what we see of it, it looks perfectly pleasant.  It might be a little isolated and a little neglected but it hardly seems like the Hellhole that everyone keeps describing.  A group of people are vacationing at Camp Murder, secure in the knowledge that infamous murderer “Terrible” Tommy Heller (Jeff Kirkendall) has been safely locked away from 25 years.  Except — uh oh! — Tommy’s escaped!  Dr. Lewis (Noyes J. Lawton) is searching for him but will he be able to find him before Tommy has wiped out the majority of the cast?

Camp Murder is one of Mark Polonia’s cheerfully low-budget horror films.  Polonia specializes in horror-on-budget.  His films aren’t exactly good but they’re made and often performed with such enthusiasm that it’s easier to forgive their flaws than certain other low-budget entries in the genre.  When it comes to a Polonia film, you know what you’re going to get so I’m going to focus on two positive aspects of the film.

First off, Terrible Tommy is actually a pretty effective villain.  His mask is genuinely disturbing and Jeff Kirkendall is properly menacing and relentless in the role.

Second, there’s a shot of two women walking towards a deserted barn that is actually effectively creepy.

As for the rest of the film, the pace is slow and the acting is often amateurish.  Some of the gore effects work.  It’s a shot-on-video slasher film.  You know what you’re getting into when you starting watching it.  The tourism industry will survive Camp Murder and that’s a good thing.