Ron Troncatty – Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch falls in love.

Episode 6.8 “Head Over Heels”

(Dir by Richard Irving, originally aired on December 5th, 1982)

Ponch falls in love.

Well, of course he does.

Listen, it’s not like Bobby is going to be allowed to fall in love. Bruce isn’t going to fall in love. Grossman? He’s been on this show since the beginning and he’s still struggling to even get a date. Nope, if anyone on CHiPs was going to fall in love, it was going to be Ponch. Watching this episode and taking the last few seasons into account, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was specifically written into Erik Estrada’s contract.

We all know what we’re watching.

Ponch falls for Vanessa (Beverly Adams), a teacher who he meets while speaking at a Mothers Against Drunk Driving meeting. It’s a whirlwind romance. Sure, they have their problems. Vanessa isn’t sure that she can handle falling in love with a “street cop” who puts his life in danger every day. Ponch gets mad when he sees Vanessa talking to her ex (Dennis Holahan). But eventually, Vanessa realizes that Ponch will always be a cop and Ponch is informed that talking does not necessarily equal cheating. Ponch asks Vanessa to marry him. He gives her a “space puppy” that he buys from a kid on a street corner. (“He’s not really from space,” the kid says. Hey, kid, we saw Ponch battle a UFO a few weeks ago.) Everything is perfect….

And then, during a big picnic to celebrate the engagement, Vanessa gets run over by a drunk driver. Vanessa dies with Ponch holding her. It should have been a big dramatic and emotional moment and perhaps it would have been if the show had let the scene play out as opposed to dropping in a montage of flashbacks to scenes that we had just watched ten minutes ago. Perhaps if the episode had been scored to the unnerving silence that comes with most tragedies, it would have brought tears to my eyes in a way that the adult contemporary romantic ballad did not. We get the full Erik Estrada experience as Vanessa dies, with Erik trying so hard to force us to cry that the performance runs the risk of having the opposite effect. Ponch is distraught but Estrada still makes sure that the camera gets his good side.

I’ll say this. I appreciate that the show’s anti-drunk driving message. (Rumor has it that this episode was specifically made in an attempt to turn down the heat after Tom Reilly was arrested for driving under the influence and the real Highway Patrol threatened to pull their sponsorship as a result.) Imagine the episode’s impact if the victim had been someone we actually knew as opposed to a one-off character who was so obviously being set up to tragically die that she might as well have had “Doomed” stamped onto her forehead. As it is, Vanessa ends up feeling more like a plot device than an actual human.

That said, don’t drink and drive. It’s not worth it.

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week, we finish up Freddy’s Nightmares.

Episode 2.22 “Life Sentence”

(Dir by Anita W. Addison, originally aired on March 11th, 1990)

The final episode of Freddy’s Nightmares is also one of the most boring.

Just as with last week’s snoozefest, this episode takes place at the local prison. Andy (George De La Pena) is due to be released. Everyone knows that he killed a guard during an armored truck robbery but Andy blamed his accomplice Bruno (Ron Troncatty) and got away with a plea bargain. Andy can’t wait to get out of jail. He brags to the guy in the next cell about how he knows where all the money is hidden.

Uh-oh, it looks like the prison’s psychiatrist, Elaine Alamo (Penny Johnson Jerald), is trying to keep Andy imprisoned. What does Andy care? Sure, everyone hates him but Bruno’s in another prison and Andy’s got all that money waiting for him. However, when Andy finds out that Bruno has escaped, Andy no longer feels safe on the outside. However, Elaine has changed her mind about keeping Andy in jail because she wants Bruno to kill Andy because the guard the Andy killed was her father. So, Andy kills Elaine so he can stay in prison. But then Bruno gets captured and becomes Andy’s new cellmate. That’s the first story.

The second story features the prison’s warden, Hendler (John Milford), running for sheriff. He’s behind in the polls so he uses an experimental truth serum on Andy. Andy hallucinates that the Warden is Bruno and Andy tells him where the money is hidden. Then Andy dies from a heart attack. The Warden calls a press conference to announce that he’s found the money but Dr. Redman (Glynn Turman), the inventor of the serum, spikes the Warden’s drink and the Warden confesses to killing Andy.

Freddy doesn’t do anything in either one of these stories, other than appear in three host segments and tell a joke about dropping the soap.

This episode was incredibly dull. The low-budget was extremely obvious. (The Warden holds his press conference in the prison, presumably because the show couldn’t afford to dress another set.) Penny Johnson Jerald does a good job with her role but otherwise, this was a poorly acted episode that featured dull characters. Andy was unlikable. The Warden was unlikable. This episode was sad note for this show to go out on.

Of course, it’s not a shock that Freddy’s Nightmares ended with a bad episode. It wasn’t a very good show to begin with, There were a few above average episodes during the second season and the first season features some memorably grotesque moments but otherwise, Freddy’s Nightmares was too constrained by the standards of television to really live up to the legacy of A Nightmare on Elm Street. The best episode were the ones the featured Freddy getting involved in the plot but those were few and far between.

Freddy’s Nightmares did not get a grand finale. Instead, it just got a forgettable final episode. Unlike the Friday the 13th series, Freddy’s Nightmares never found a consistent tone or a compelling reason for existing.

Oh well. Next week, we’ll have a new show in this time slot. See you then!