Richard Irving – Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, dogs are being kidnapped and a kid with a liver condition risks his life to see the Space Shuttle. Can Gordon Cooper save the day!?

Episode 6.15 “Journey To A Spacecraft”

(Dir by Richard Irving, originally aired on February 6th, 1983)

Someone is dognapping adorable and expensive dogs in Los Angeles! Wealthy Ms. Birdwing (Natalie Schafer) wants her tiny doggie back! Luckily, a kid named Kevin (Byron Thomas) was listening to his portable CB radio and he heard the dognappers talking to each other. Kevin’s clues lead the highway patrol to the dog groomer (Vito Scotti) who has been stealing and reselling the dogs. The dog groomer is arrested by Tina, Grossman, and Officer Webster. When one of the kidnapped dogs stands on the groomer’s chest, Grossman calls it “poetic justice.” I would have called it ultio canis but whatever.

Meanwhile, Kevin is in desperate need of a liver transplant. A donor has been found, but Kevin has snuck out of his house and is making his way to Edwards Air Force Base so he can watch the Space Shuttle land. Ponch and Bobby set off to find the young aerospace enthusiast but, unfortunately, a lot of people have shown up to watch the Space Shuttle. Ponch, however, runs into former Mercury Astronaut Gordon Cooper and he announces on the PA system, “Kevin, Gordon Cooper wants to meet with you at the press building!” Kevin, whose liver is really acting up, collapses as he makes his way to the press building. Luckily, Bobby finds him and carries him to the press building so that he can meet Gordon Cooper before finally getting a new liver.

This episode was a bit of a strange one. The dognapping storyline was deliberately silly with Vito Scotti giving a very broad performance as the duplicitous dog groomer. Meanwhile, the Kevin storyline tried really hard to generate some tears but I’ve seen enough episodes of CHiPs to know that Kevin was going to be fine. What I found strange was that his parents didn’t seem to be that upset about him sneaking out and hitching rides from his CB radio friends. I’m not really sure this episode had a good message. “Hey, kids, want to pursue your favorite hobby? Hitchhike!”

Gordon Cooper appeared as himself. I’ve always said that professional athletes are usually the least convincing members of any guest cast but, based on this episode, I may have to include astronauts in there. Cooper seemed uneasy whenever he was on screen. When Kevin was finally found and didn’t die, Cooper awkwardly patted Ponch on the back even though Bobby was the one who found him.

Speaking of Ponch, how did he go through this entire episode without once mentioning that, just a few months ago, he actually battled an alien? Seriously, Ponch, what the hell?

This week, Ponch falls in love.

Episode 6.8 “Head Over Heels”

(Dir by Richard Irving, originally aired on December 5th, 1982)

Ponch falls in love.

Well, of course he does.

Listen, it’s not like Bobby is going to be allowed to fall in love. Bruce isn’t going to fall in love. Grossman? He’s been on this show since the beginning and he’s still struggling to even get a date. Nope, if anyone on CHiPs was going to fall in love, it was going to be Ponch. Watching this episode and taking the last few seasons into account, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was specifically written into Erik Estrada’s contract.

We all know what we’re watching.

Ponch falls for Vanessa (Beverly Adams), a teacher who he meets while speaking at a Mothers Against Drunk Driving meeting. It’s a whirlwind romance. Sure, they have their problems. Vanessa isn’t sure that she can handle falling in love with a “street cop” who puts his life in danger every day. Ponch gets mad when he sees Vanessa talking to her ex (Dennis Holahan). But eventually, Vanessa realizes that Ponch will always be a cop and Ponch is informed that talking does not necessarily equal cheating. Ponch asks Vanessa to marry him. He gives her a “space puppy” that he buys from a kid on a street corner. (“He’s not really from space,” the kid says. Hey, kid, we saw Ponch battle a UFO a few weeks ago.) Everything is perfect….

And then, during a big picnic to celebrate the engagement, Vanessa gets run over by a drunk driver. Vanessa dies with Ponch holding her. It should have been a big dramatic and emotional moment and perhaps it would have been if the show had let the scene play out as opposed to dropping in a montage of flashbacks to scenes that we had just watched ten minutes ago. Perhaps if the episode had been scored to the unnerving silence that comes with most tragedies, it would have brought tears to my eyes in a way that the adult contemporary romantic ballad did not. We get the full Erik Estrada experience as Vanessa dies, with Erik trying so hard to force us to cry that the performance runs the risk of having the opposite effect. Ponch is distraught but Estrada still makes sure that the camera gets his good side.

I’ll say this. I appreciate that the show’s anti-drunk driving message. (Rumor has it that this episode was specifically made in an attempt to turn down the heat after Tom Reilly was arrested for driving under the influence and the real Highway Patrol threatened to pull their sponsorship as a result.) Imagine the episode’s impact if the victim had been someone we actually knew as opposed to a one-off character who was so obviously being set up to tragically die that she might as well have had “Doomed” stamped onto her forehead. As it is, Vanessa ends up feeling more like a plot device than an actual human.

That said, don’t drink and drive. It’s not worth it.