Jason Tucker – Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch falls in love.

Episode 6.8 “Head Over Heels”

(Dir by Richard Irving, originally aired on December 5th, 1982)

Ponch falls in love.

Well, of course he does.

Listen, it’s not like Bobby is going to be allowed to fall in love. Bruce isn’t going to fall in love. Grossman? He’s been on this show since the beginning and he’s still struggling to even get a date. Nope, if anyone on CHiPs was going to fall in love, it was going to be Ponch. Watching this episode and taking the last few seasons into account, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was specifically written into Erik Estrada’s contract.

We all know what we’re watching.

Ponch falls for Vanessa (Beverly Adams), a teacher who he meets while speaking at a Mothers Against Drunk Driving meeting. It’s a whirlwind romance. Sure, they have their problems. Vanessa isn’t sure that she can handle falling in love with a “street cop” who puts his life in danger every day. Ponch gets mad when he sees Vanessa talking to her ex (Dennis Holahan). But eventually, Vanessa realizes that Ponch will always be a cop and Ponch is informed that talking does not necessarily equal cheating. Ponch asks Vanessa to marry him. He gives her a “space puppy” that he buys from a kid on a street corner. (“He’s not really from space,” the kid says. Hey, kid, we saw Ponch battle a UFO a few weeks ago.) Everything is perfect….

And then, during a big picnic to celebrate the engagement, Vanessa gets run over by a drunk driver. Vanessa dies with Ponch holding her. It should have been a big dramatic and emotional moment and perhaps it would have been if the show had let the scene play out as opposed to dropping in a montage of flashbacks to scenes that we had just watched ten minutes ago. Perhaps if the episode had been scored to the unnerving silence that comes with most tragedies, it would have brought tears to my eyes in a way that the adult contemporary romantic ballad did not. We get the full Erik Estrada experience as Vanessa dies, with Erik trying so hard to force us to cry that the performance runs the risk of having the opposite effect. Ponch is distraught but Estrada still makes sure that the camera gets his good side.

I’ll say this. I appreciate that the show’s anti-drunk driving message. (Rumor has it that this episode was specifically made in an attempt to turn down the heat after Tom Reilly was arrested for driving under the influence and the real Highway Patrol threatened to pull their sponsorship as a result.) Imagine the episode’s impact if the victim had been someone we actually knew as opposed to a one-off character who was so obviously being set up to tragically die that she might as well have had “Doomed” stamped onto her forehead. As it is, Vanessa ends up feeling more like a plot device than an actual human.

That said, don’t drink and drive. It’s not worth it.

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, it snows in Boston.

Episode 2.11 “Blizzard”

(Dir by Kevin Hooks, originally aired on January 18th, 1984)

It can’t be easy working in a hospital.

I’m thinking about this today because my aunt is currently dying. After several years of suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, my aunt is currently in a hospital, unresponsive and scheduled to move into hospice care. Presbyterian Health was the first hospice we reached out to. They don’t have any available rooms but they were willing to still admit her and send their nurses to the hospital everyday until a room opened up, One family would lose a loved one and my aunt would get a room. However, the hospital says that they need the bed that my aunt is occupying so my aunt is being sent to a different hospice. This hospice is located off the highway and it’s going to be Hell to get to. I yelled at the hospital social worker for an hour this morning. He suggested home hospice as a solution but home hospice is what I agreed to for my Dad last year and the pain from watching him die still lingers.

It’s easy to get angry at the doctors and the nurses and the hospice workers but I try not to. I’m losing my aunt, a woman who stepped up to look after me after my mom died. They’re losing one of the hundreds of patients that they deal with on a daily basis. That social worker upset me but ultimately, he was doing his job.

All of this was pressing on my mind as I watched this week’s episode of St. Elsewhere. Even though this episode was aired 41 years ago, it still felt relevant today. A patient — a nice old man named Harrison Jeffries (James McEachin) — died because a teenage girl hacked the hospital’s computer, screwed with the files for fun, and accidentally erased the fact that Harrison was allergic to Demerol. It was sad but it was also something that still happens today. People, both good and bad, go into hospitals for minor procedures and concerns and they don’t come out. Last year, my Dad went to the hospital because he was in a car accident and when I first visited him, he seemed like he was doing fine. Three months later, he died because the accident aggravated his Parkinson’s. It sucks and it hurts but that’s the way it is. Tomorrow, I could forget to pack my inhaler when I leave the house and I could die of an asthma attack. It’s not nice to think about but it could happen. That’s why you have to truly live life while you can. You never know when it might be taken away.

As for the rest of this episode, it dealt with a blizzard. The roof collapsed on Dr. Cavanero and she ended up with a broken arm. Dr. Craig tried to drive to the hospital and, after his car stalled, nearly died walking through the snow. (Vijay was able to warm up Craig’s feet by placing them on his stomach. Craig was not happy.) Victor struggled with his love for Roberta. Dr. Armstrong snapped at people. Jack Morrison was depressed. Even with this blizzard, it was really just another day at St. Eligius.

St. Elsewhere is frequently downbeat show but that makes sense. When you think about, no one ever gets a happy ending.