Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.8 “Tale of the Goat”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, things get weird.

Episode 2.8 “Tale of the Goat”

(Dir by Michael O’Herlihy, originally aired on November 15th, 1985)

It’s hard to know where to begin with this one.

Legba (Clarence Williams III) is a drug lord that Sonny has been trying to take down for three years.  While hiding out in Haiti, Legba reportedly dies.  When his body is flown back to Miami, Crockett and Tubbs are waiting in the airport so that Crockett can snap a picture of Legba in his casket.  Legba does indeed appear to be dead.  But, at his voodoo-themed funeral, a man on a motorcycle riddles the casket with bullets.  When Crockett and Tubbs (who were staking out the ceremony) open up the casket, they discover only a dead goat.

“Zombie!” a priest exclaims.

Legba has come back, though not as a member of the undead.  Instead, while in Haiti, he ingested a toxin that put him in a 48-hour coma.  Unlike a lot of people who take the toxin, Legba survives.  However, when he is revived, he has suffered brain damage and is now walking and talking slowly.  That doesn’t stop Legba from getting his old gang back together (including a dwarf who carries a pickaxe) and going after everyone who he feels has betrayed him.  This includes his former lieutenant (Mykelti Williamson) and an obnoxious money launderer (Ray Sharkey) who owns a used car lot.

Tubbs doesn’t believe in voodoo, despite Crockett warning him of the dangers.  Tubbs is more interested in Marie (Denise Thompson), Legba’s ex-girlfriend.  Looking to keep Marie safe from Legba, Tubbs attempts to infiltrate a voodoo ceremony.  You might think this would give Tubbs the perfect excuse to trot out the fake Caribbean accent that he occasionally used during the first season but instead, Tubbs is captured before he can even utter a word.  He’s injected with the toxin and spends 48 hours in a coma, haunted by visions of Legba staring at him!

Eventually, Tubbs does come out of his coma and, amazingly, it takes him about five minutes to fully recover.  The episode ends with another raid on a yacht.  This time, Tubbs manages to kill the villain, shooting him in the back!  In Tubbs’s defense, he was still having visions and he thought Legba was facing him.  Legba dies and Marie is found in a coma but alive.

This was a weird episode, one that had enough plot for a two-parter.  As it is, the story felt rather rushed.  No sooner had Mykleti Williamson and Ray Sharkey made their appearances as criminals then Legba was doing away with them.  No sooner had Marie stepped onto Crockett’s boat then she was being kidnapped by Legba’s men.  No sooner had Tubbs decided to infiltrate Legba’s cult then he was getting injected with the voodoo toxin.  And no sooner had Tubbs woken up from his coma then he was preparing to raid the yacht.  Add to that, Clarence Williams III gave a performance that was without a hint of subtlety, speaking in accent that was impossible to describe.  This wasn’t really a good episode but it was so weird that it was undeniably entertaining.

Next week, Dean Stockwell appears as an old friend of Castillo’s!  Hopefully, he won’t be a voodoo priest.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.7 “Junk Love”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Sonny and Rico somehow still manage to work undercover.

Episode 2.7 “Junk Love”

(Dir by Michael O’Herlihy, originally aired on November 8th, 1985)

“What’s a four letter word for dirt?” Switek asks, while on a stakeout.

“Mud,” Zito offers before correcting himself, “I mean …. sand!”

However, according to Switek, the correct answer is Vice!

And indeed, there’s a lot of dirt to be found in this week’s rather sordid episode of Miami Vice.  A raid on a brothel leads the Vice Squad to arrest a notorious smuggler and pimp named Ivory Jones (legendary Jazz musician, Miles Davis) and one of Ivory’s girls, a strung-out junkie named Rosella (Ely Pouget).  When they find out that Rosella is apparently the girlfriend of a notorious dealer named Juan Carlos Silva (Jose Perez), they decide to use her and Ivory to take Silva down.  While Tubbs is convinced that Rosella will say anything get her next fix, Crockett is convinced that Rosella is someone who truly wants to change her life.  Hmmm …. isn’t Crockett usually the cynical one?

Silva is sexually obsessed with Rosella, to the extent that he’ll even kill the members of his own organization if he thinks they’re interested in her.  The episode’s twist comes towards the end, when Gina does some research and discovers that Silva is not only Rosella’s lover but also her …. ick! …. father!  Ewwwww!  As with so many episodes of Miami Vice, Junk Love ends with Sonny watching helplessly as a victimized woman throws away her freedom so that she can shoot her tormenter.  Miami Vice was a show that always managed to be downbeat, even when the bad guys met a deserved end.

This episode felt like an attempt to recreate the emotional drama of the season one episode that featured Bruce Willis as an arms dealer with an abused wife.  Both episodes even feature the same basic ending, just with the setting moved from the courthouse steps to a yacht.  Unfortunately, this episode doesn’t work anywhere half as well as any of the episodes that aired during the first season.  Jose Perez may be playing an evil character but he simply does not have an intimidating enough screen presence to be convincing in the role.  Miles Davis, meanwhile, delivers his lines convincingly enough but his character disappears in such a way that it almost feels as if he left the set before all of his scenes were filmed.

The main thing that I found myself thinking about, as I watched this episode, was how could Sonny Crockett and Rico Tubbs still convincingly go undercover after two years of busting drug kingpin after drug kingpin.  You would think the entire Miami underworld would be on the lookout for them.  Instead, Sonny is still somehow convincing everyone that he’s actually “Sonny Burnett,” aspiring drug dealer.  I’m starting to think the criminals in Miami might not be that smart.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 3/17/24 — 3/23/24


Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

I’m now caught up with Abbott Elementary.  Season 3 has been a bit rocky for me and, as I watched the latest episode on Thursday morning, I realized that it really did come down to the fact that it seems as if Abbott is running the risk of losing its edge.  The celebrity cameos are nice and often funny but they also take the viewers out of the reality of the show.  I’m also still not a fan of Janine working for the District.  I love teachers but I cannot stand bureaucrats.  I also think, after three seasons, it might be time for Gregory to stop looking stunned by everything.  It was funny at first but now, it’s just coming across as being a bit lazy.

That said, when this show works, it really does work.  Mr. Johnson debating how AI will effect the future of janitoring made me laugh so hard that I had to get a drink of water to stop myself from choking to death.

Blind Date (YouTube)

I watched two episodes on Tuesday afternoon.  No one found love.

Chappelle’s Show (Netflix)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which Wayne Brady took over Dave Chappelle’s Show.  Dave later talked about the time Wayne forced him to smoke crystal meth and murdered at least three people.  It made me laugh.

Dirty Pair Flash (YouTube)

On Friday, I watched an episode in which the two main characters had to hide out at a private school, one that was haunted by a ghost.  I related to Yuri’s enthusiasm.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Tuesday afternoon, I watched an episode in which Phil talked to a white kid from the suburbs who thought he was a gangster.  A real-life former gangster was brought on to talk to him about the “realities” of life on the street.  I’ve never heard so much psycho-babble in my life.

The N.Y. Friars Club Roast of Chevy Chase (YouTube)

I read about this infamous 2002 Roast on Wednesday so I decided to watch it on Thursday.  It’s true that the humor was brutal.  I thought the roast of Michael Scott on The Office was brutal but it was nothing compared to what Chevy Chase was put through.  It was kind of obvious that everyone involved had been waiting for a chance to let the world know how much they hated Chevy Chase.  It was …. awkward.  I’m just not a huge fan of the whole roast thing.  It just seems mean!

Jenny Jones (YouTube)

On Monday, I watched a 1992 episode of this talk show.  Easily flustered host Jenny Jones talked to teenage girls who were dating older boys and basically made things awkward by asking them to tell her and the entire audience about their first time.

The Phil Donahue Show (YouTube)

On Monday, I watched a 1993 episode of this ancient talk show.  The pompous host talked to girls who were dating older men.  Everyone was amazingly inarticulate.

Quiet On The Set (Max)

A four-part docuseries, Quiet On The Set took a look at the rise (and eventual fall) of Nickelodeon and television producer Dan Schneider.  The centerpiece of the series was an episode-long interview with Drake Bell, in which he bravely discussed being sexually abused by Brian Peck, who was one of three Nickelodeon employees to be convicted of child sexual abuse over a short period of time.

While Drake was compelling and the series did a good job of detailing the toxic atmosphere on many of Schneider’s shows, the series also featured a few too many journalists and a few too many interviews with other former child stars who came across like they were mostly annoyed that their careers fizzled out.  Dan Schneider comes across as being a terrible boss and a selfish human being but, at the same time,  the series started out with an agenda and sometimes, I wondered how much of the narrative was shaped to fit that agenda.

In the end, the main thing I took away from watching this docuseries was the Nickelodeon really was as creepy as I always kind of suspected it of being.

Rollergames (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this old show on Saturday morning.  The roller derby was brutal!

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

On Monday, I watched a two-part episode from 1993.  Sally interviewed teen girls who were sexually active and basically spent two hours scolding them,  There was also an army of virgins in the audience who would say stuff like, “I am a virgin,” and the audience would go crazy.  It all felt very weird and judgmental.  For someone who claimed to be a feminist, Sally sure was quick to judge her guests.

Trisha Goddard Show (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this talk show (which I had never heard of before) on Sunday night.  Trisha Goddard, who was a kind of annoying British woman, talked to a 68 year-old woman whose deceased son was thought to be the father of two 27 year-old women.  For some reason, a psychic was brought out to give her opinion.  “I’m sensing the number three,” she said, for reasons that were never explained.

I watched another episode on Wednesday.  It featured a man who refused to accept that he was the father of his ex-partner’s baby, even after a DNA test proved that he was.  “That test could have been doctored!” he yelled while the audience gasped in shock.

Watched And Reviewed Elsewhere:

Baywatch Nights

Changing Patterns

Check It Out — Review to come shortly  (unless I fall asleep)

CHiPs

Fantasy Island

Friday the 13th: The Series

Highway to Heaven

The Love Boat

Miami Vice

Monsters

T and T

Welcome Back Kotter

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.6 “Buddies”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett discovers that one of his oldest friends has a secret.

Episode 2.6 “Buddies”

(Dir by Henry Mastrogeorge, originally aired on November 1st, 1985)

When sleazy stand-up comedian Morty Price (a youngish Nathan Lane) attempts to sexually assault a cocktail waitress named Dorothy (Eszter Balint), he ends up getting fatally stabbed with a steak knife.  Dorothy flees from the crime scene, taking her baby and grabbing a bunch of random papers that, unknown to her, prove that Morty Price was placing illegal bets with mobster Frank Doss (Frankie Valli).  This information could keep Doss from being able to get a casino license in Florida.

Because Doss and his partner, Johnny Cannata (Tom Signorelli), are mob-connected, Castillo and Vice take over the investigation of Price’s murder.  Sonny and Tubbs learn, from an informant (Karla Tamburrelli), that Price took Dorothy up to his room before he was murdered.  While Crockett and Tubbs search for Dorothy to find out what happened with Price, Doss and Cannata send their men to track down Dorothy and keep the papers from reaching the police.

During the investigation, Sonny is stunned to come across security footage of one of his oldest friends, Robbie Cann (James Remar), meeting with Doss and Cannata.  Robbie not only served in Vietnam with Sonny but he has also recently asked Sonny to be his son’s godfather.  Robbie has just opened up a club and, as he explains to Sonny, he finally feels like he’s something more than just a loser.  When Sonny confronts Robbie about meeting with the gangsters, Robbie admits that he borrowed money from them to start the club but he insists that he doesn’t have any other type of relationship with them.  However, when Sonny attends the christening of Robbie’s son, he discovers that Robbie’s name is actually Robert Cannata.  He is Johnny Cannata’s son!  Robbie insists that he has nothing to do with his father’s business but Sonny is forced to ask just how much he can trust one of his closest friends.

This episode is a bit of a mess.  On the plus side, fans of character actors will enjoy this episode.  James Remar’s nervy performance keeps you guessing and it’s undeniably interesting to see Nathan Lane playing someone that sleazy.  Frankie Valli and Tom Signorelli make for convincing gangsters.  It’s also the first episode of the series to really feature Sonny talking about what it was like to serve in Vietnam and it deserves some credit for attempting to explore the difficulty that many veterans face when trying to adjust back to civilian life.  Robbie has not had an easy life after returning to the U.S. but now, he finally has a wife, a child, and a business.  Sonny may feel betrayed by Robbie but he’s also aware that his investigation is going to potentially ruin Robbie’s life.

On the other hand, the episode attempts to take on so much that it stretches itself a bit then.  It requires a real suspension of disbelief to accept that Sonny would just happen to be assigned to an investigation that would involve his best friend.  I mean, what are the chances?  The episode also can’t seem to decide if it wants to focus on Robbie or if it wants to focus on Dorothy and her child.  As a result, neither story really feels as if it gets all of the attention that it deserves.

Next week, the Vice Squad investigates jazz legend Miles Davis!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 3/10/24 — 3/16/24


On Sunday, I discovered that there are hundreds of episodes of Blind Date on YouTube.  Blind Date was an early reality show, where two strangers would be set up on a blind date and the cameras would follow them as they searched for a deeper connection.  The show was distinguished by its snarky attitude, which was usually represented by thought balloons that would show what the two people were “really” thinking.  While plenty of episodes featured likable people who went on good dates, the disastrous dates were always a lot more fun to watch.

And I’ve watched a lot of them this week.  Whenever I’ve been bored or I’ve found myself struggling to focus, I’ve pulled up an episode of Blind Date and …. well, I’d be lying if I said the show was making me more productive.  If anything, I’ve probably wasted a lot of time on it.  But still, it makes me smile when I need to smile.

On Sunday, I also watched The Oscars I wrote about the show here.  For the most part, it was an entertaining show and I’m glad Christopher Nolan finally won his Oscar.  I’ve been thinking a lot about Jonathan Glazer’s acceptance speech, of which I was not a fan.  Zone of Interest is an important film and Glazer’s speech can’t change that.  Still, I’m having to do now what I always tell me friends they should do whenever they discover one of their favorite directors or actors isn’t as much of a leftist as they are.  I always tell them to stop whining and just separate the work from the artist.  And now I’m discovering that is easier said than done.  I may owe some of my friends an apology.

On Tuesday, I watched a 90s talk show called Rolanda.  Rolanda interviewed gang members who wanted to come out of the closet.

On Wednesday, I was excited to watch both Survivor and The Amazing Race!  Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to full concentrate on either show because I got a call halfway through Survivor but I plan on rewatching both episodes tomorrow.  Survivor, I have to admit, hasn’t really worked for me lately.  Ever since it came back from the Pandemic hiatus, Survivor has felt like a shadow of its past self.  But I continue to unreservedly love The Amazing Race.

On Friday, I watched episodes of Vanishing Shadow and Night Flight on Night Flight Plus.  The Night Flight episode featured film directors who made music videos.  I’ve noticed that every episode of Night Flight finds an excuse to show Brian DePalma’s video for Relax and this episode was no different.

On Saturday morning, I watched the first episode of an old anime called Bubblegum Crash.  I have no idea what was going on for most of it but a lot of stuff did blow up.

Also Watched And Reviewed Elsewhere:

Baywatch Nights

Check It Out! — Review upcoming

CHiPs

Fantasy Island

Friday the 13th: The Series

Highway to Heaven

The Love Boat

Miami Vice

Monsters

Puppetman

T and T

Welcome Back, Kotter

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.5 “The Dutch Oven”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

Well, this sucks!  Tubi is no longer streaming Miami Vice.  Hopefully, the show will soon have a new streaming home.  As for the episode that I reviewed below, I had to buy it on Prime.  It cost next to nothing but still, there’s a larger issue, namely my desire to watch stuff for free.

Episode 2.4 “The Dutch Oven”

(Dir by Abel Ferrara, originally aired on October 25th, 1985)

This week’s episode of Miami Vice opens with a typical Vice situation.  Trudy is undercover as a prostitute.  Tubbs is undercover as a drug buyer.  When the dealers try to rip Tubbs off, it leads to an exciting and well-shot car chase that ends in an alley.  One of the dealers points his gun at Sonny and Trudy and, four shots later, he’s lying dead on the ground.

For once, though, it’s not Sonny who did the shooting.  Instead, all four shots were fired by Trudy.  This time, it’s Trudy who is shaken by taking someone’s life and it’s Trudy who finds herself being harassed by Internal Affairs.  Feeling lost, Trudy goes to a party hosted by her ex-boyfriend, David (Cleavant Derricks).  Soon, Trudy and David are back together but, when Trudy discovers that someone is dealing drugs at David’s parties, she is forced to confront the fact that her boyfriend might not be an innocent bystander.

A young Giancarlo Esposito appears in this episode, playing an up-and-coming dealer named Adonis.  Adonis is an old friend of David’s and he’s also the one who is responsible for selling the drugs at the parties.  (It turns out that David actually is innocent.)  Sonny, realizing that Trudy is too close to the case and still emotionally shaken by the earlier shooting, goes undercover to take Adonis down.  Of course, Adonis doesn’t surrender easily and the episode ends with him literally daring Trudy to shoot him.  Trudy hesitates so Sonny sends Adonis to the ground with one punch.  As far as endings go, it doesn’t quite feel like a Miami Vice ending.  Season one, for instance, had no hesitation about ending with gunshots.  Gina shot Burt Young in cold blood.  Pam Grier killed several drug dealers and apparently got away with it.  Bruce Willis’s wife shot him on the courthouse steps.  Dennis Farina was shot in his car at the end of Lombard.  This episode, though, ends with Sonny demonstrating that he can make arrests without killing people and with Trudy still not having to deal with her fear of using her weapon.  It feels a bit wishy-washy, to be honest.

On the plus side, Abel Ferrara does a good job directing this episode.  The opening action scene is genuinely exciting and the entire episode is permeated with a melancholy atmosphere.  This episode deserves some credit for acknowledging that the Vice detectives spend a lot of time investigating and arresting people with whom they’ve become friends.  And it’s good that, after spending so much time in the background, Trudy finally got a showcase episode and Olivia Brown got a chance to prove she could carry a story.  This is an effective episode, even if it never quite becomes a classic.

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Retro Television Reviews Will Return On March 11th


Hi, everyone!  Lisa Marie here with a quick programming note!

For nearly two years, I’ve been posting daily retro television reviews here on the Lens.  That feature is going on hiatus for this upcoming week so that this site can concentrate on the Oscars.  Speaking for myself, I know that I have a lot that I need to watch and review before the Oscars are handed out on March 10!

So, my daily reviews of Miami Vice, Baywatch Nights, CHiPs, Fantasy Island, The Love Boat, Monsters, Highway to Heaven, T and T, Friday the 13th, Welcome Back Kotter, Check It Out, and Degrassi Junior High will return on March 11th, after Oscar week concludes!

For now, let’s watch some movies!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.4 “Out Where The Buses Don’t Run”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, we learn the cost of working Vice.

Episode 2.4 “Out Where The Buses Don’t Run”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on October 18th, 1985)

This is it.  This is the episode that is regularly cited as being one of the best, if not the best, episodes that Miami Vice ever aired.  Out Where The Buses Don’t Run takes a look at the psychological costs of spending one’s life obsessing on crime and justice.  What starts out as a comedy turns into the bleakest episode of the show so far.

Things get off to a great start, with Crockett and Tubbs pursuing a drug dealer on the beach.  While The Who’s Baba O’Riley plays on the soundtrack, the dealer roller skates down a sidewalk and a preacher (played by Little Richard) sends his young congregation out to collect money.  As Crockett and Tubbs wait for their chance to arrest the dealer, someone watches them from a nearby window and takes pictures.  Crockett asks Tubbs if he ever gets the feeling that he’s being watched.

The man taking the pictures turns out to be Hank Weldon (Bruce McGill), a former Vice cop who quit the force six years prior when a case that he had spent three years making fell apart and a drug lord was set free on a technicality.  The drug lord vanished after the case against him was thrown out and it’s assumed that he was murdered by his associates.  Hank, however, insists that the drug lord is still alive and he’s returned to Miami.  He wants Crockett and Tubbs to help him finally catch the criminal that evaded him all those years before.

A quick check with Weldon’s former partner, Marty Lang (David Strathairn), reveals that Weldon left the force after he had a nervous breakdown and he’s spent the past few years in a mental facility.  The loud and flamboyant Weldon is obviously still unstable but Crockett and Tubbs cannot shake the feeling that he might know what he’s talking about.

And, as is revealed at this end of this episode, they’re right …. kind of.  Weldon does know where the missing drug lord is.  The drug lord is walled up in an abandoned building.  He’s been there since 1979.  At the end of episode, with Tubbs, Crockett, Castillo, and Lang watching, Weldon tears down the wall and reveals the decayed skeleton of the drug lord.  Weldon announces that he murdered him and walled him up.  Lang then reveals that he helped.

“He was my partner,” Lang says, “Understand?”

Crockett understands and the audience understands as well.  When Weldon’s obsession drove him crazy, Lang was the only one to whom he could turn.  And Lang, being his partner, was the only one who understood how he felt.  Lang may have been a cop but his number one loyalty was to his partner, just as Crockett’s number one loyalty will always be to Tubbs.

As played by Bruce McGill, Hank Weldon goes from being a cheerful eccentric to a bitter and paranoid lunatic to, finally, a man who can no longer stand to hide what he’s done.  It’s an excellent performance that keeps the audience guessing.  He may be a murderer and he’s obviously still unstable but your heart can’t help but break for him.  The combination of Jim Johnston’s moody direction, a perfect collection of songs on the soundtrack, and the performances of Bruce McGill and David Strathairn really do come together to make this an excellent episode.  In the end, it’s hard not to feel that Crockett and Tubbs are both one step away from becoming Weldon and Lang themselves.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/18/24 — 2/24/24


Greetings from Lake Texoma!  It’s been a relaxing week and exactly what I needed.  Here’s some thoughts on what I watched out on the deck.

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

“Janine smokes weed every day!”

Finally!  After being slightly disappointed with the previous episodes of Abbott Elementary, this week’s episode was definitely a return to form!  Whether it was all of the teachers talking about their drugs of choice or the hilarious FADE assembly, this episode epitomized everything that makes this show special.  And while Janine smoking weed every day may seem a bit unexpected, it makes sense when you consider that she dated Tariq for ten years.

American Idol (Sunday Night, ABC)

Whenever American Idol starts a new season, I always find myself saying, “Is that show still on?”  Seriously, it’s been a while since American Idol was a huge part of the cultural landscape and it’s been even longer since the show introduced America to genuine talents like Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.

This season got off to an odd start, with Ryan Seacrest saying that the previous winner had put his home state of Hawaii on the map.  No, Ryan — I’m pretty sure people knew about Hawaii before American Idol.  As I watched the rest of the first audition episode, it occurred to me that, once again, the judges were too concerned about their own image to really offer up any sort of constructive feedback.  That’s one reason why a show like this needs someone who is willing to be brutally honest and who has nothing to lose by being the show’s “villain.”  Simon Cowell was a brilliant judge because he could always just hop on a plane and head back to the UK if his criticism ever turned America against him.  Katy Perry, Luke Bryan, and Lionel Richie, on the other hand, all have brands that are based on being likable and not destroying people’s dreams.

Everyone who auditioned had a tragic backstory and they all did that thing were they oversold the emotion of whatever they were singing.  It was kind of boring, to be honest.  It’s been a long time since the show has produced a true American idol.

Bubblegum Crisis (Night Flight Plus)

Jeff and I watched an episode of this anime on Saturday morning.  I have no idea what was going on in the episode but a lot of stuff blew up.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Thursday night, Jeff and I watched an episode in which a woman named Lynsey accused her ex of abusing their daughter.  That Lynsey was lying was pretty obvious from the start.  Eventually, Lynsey got angry and stormed off stage.  She came back out a bit later and accused Dr. Phil of turning her story into a “circus.”  Usually, I’m totally in favor of people giving Dr. Phil a hard time but, in this case, Lynsey really was the worst.

Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court (YouTube)

He was the father!  Yay!  I had an episode of this playing in the background on Friday morning while I was in the process of waking up.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

After playing the role for almost as long as I’ve been alive, Sam Waterston played Jack McCoy for the last time this week.  McCoy resigned as District Attorney in order to protect his subordinates from the political fall-out of prosecuting a friend of the Mayor’s.  I would have liked to have seen McCoy retire on his own terms, as opposed to being forced out.  Quitting in the face of political pressure felt out of character for Jack McCoy.  And the fact that he resigned to protect Price and Maroun, neither one of whom really feels worthy of the sacrifice, only adds insult to injury.

I find it interesting that almost every episode of Law & Order seems to feature a wealthy murderer.  Do poor people not commit crimes in New York City?

Maury (YouTube)

“You are the father!”  “You are not the father!”  “You’re going to be in this baby’s life, right?”  “Oh, you know it, Maury!”  I watched way too much Maury on Friday and I will never forgive myself.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I watched a profile of Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath.

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff and I watched another episode of this 1930s serial.  Our heroes spent the entire episode fleeing gangsters.

Watched and Reviewed Elsewhere:

  1. Baywatch Nights
  2. Check it Out (review will be dropping in 30 minutes)
  3. CHiPs
  4. Fantasy Island
  5. Friday the 13th: The Series
  6. Highway to Heaven
  7. In The Lion’s Den
  8. The Love Boat
  9. Miami Vice
  10. Monsters
  11. T and T
  12. Welcome Back, Kotter

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.3 “Whatever Works”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, we learn how Sonny affords all of those wonderful toys.

Episode 2.3 “Whatever Works”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on October 4th, 1985)

Have you ever wondered how Sonny Crockett afford that nice Ferrari on just a cop’s salary?  To be honest, it hadn’t really occurred to me.  I just assumed that everyone in the 80s owned a Ferrari.  I’ve been more concerned with how Sonny manages to maintain his undercover identity despite the fact that he spends almost all of his time hanging out with his fellow cops.  I mean, surely, someone in the Miami underworld has noticed that “Sonny Burnett” sure does seem to have a lot of friends who worked Vice.

Regardless, in this episode, we learn that Sonny doesn’t actually own the Ferrari.  Instead, it’s a vehicle that the department loans to Sonny so that he can maintain his cover.  Apparently, the Ferrari once belonged to an actual drug dealer.  Unfortunately, the Miami Police Department desperately needs to make some money at their next police auction so Maxwell Dierks (Robert Trebor), a weaselly bureaucrat, decides to repossess Sonny’s Ferrari and auction it off.

Sonny spends most of this episode obsessing on his car.  While the rest of the Vice Squad laughs at Sonny’s misfortune, local informant Izzy Moreno tries to trick Dierks into giving him the car so that he can return it to Sonny.  I hope Sonny appreciates who his true friends are.  Anyway, Castillo eventually pulls some strings to save Sonny’s car.  Maybe Sonny should have gone to him in the first place but, then again, Castillo is kind of intimidating.  He literally never smiles.

While Sonny is obsessing on his car, someone is killing cops and leaving behind Santeria charms.  Despite having grown up in Florida and being a veteran vice detective, it appears that Sonny has never before heard of Santeria.  However, Castillo and Tubbs know all about it.  Castillo is even friends with a Santeria priestess (Eartha Kitt) who explains that the killers did not view the cops as being policemen but instead as being fellow criminals.

It turns out that there’s a group of cops who have been shaking down drug dealers and now, they’re being killed one-by-one.  For all the talk of Santeria, the solution to the problem is actually pretty straight forward.  The Vice squad tracks down the people doing the killing and, after a shoot-out, the bad guys surrender.  And that’s the end of that.

Oh, this episode.  It had potential but it just fell flat.  The Santeria stuff felt tacked on and it was pretty obvious that the episode’s writers were more interested in Sonny trying to get his car back than in the episode’s main storyline.  Even the Eartha Kitt cameo felt a bit perfunctory.

On the plus side, this episode did feature a band singing Bang A Gong in the middle of a bar fight.  That was pretty cool.  The band was called Power Station and apparently, it was an off-shoot of Duran Duran.  What’s interesting is that the members of the band are portrayed as being old friends of Sonny, to the extent that they applaud him as he beats up a bad cop.  It brings a real “The name is Dalton” energy to the scene.

This week’s episode was a bit disappointing but next week’s episode is apparently a classic.  I look forward to watching and reviewing Out Where The Buses Don’t Run.