The Eric Roberts Collection: Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft (dir by David DeCoteau)


In 2013’s Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft, Ella (Fivel Stewart) and Jonah (Booboo Stewart) are twins who are sent to an exclusive private school.  The private school is so exclusive that many of the students are the descendants of former students.  If you don’t have the right lineage, you’re not attending this school.

Ella and Jonah soon discover that this isn’t your everyday private school.  Instead, the student body is made up of witches and wizards and so are the majority of the teachers.  Ella and Jonah also discover that they are being targeted.  Can they defeat the other witches and wizards and will their school ever beat Hogwarts at Quidditch?

Now, technically, Hogwarts is never mentioned in this film and no one ever plays Quidditch but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out which insanely popular series of books and films inspired Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft.  There are a few references to witches in the woods and children being eaten but this film definitely has more in common with the works of J.K. Rowling than the work of the Brothers Grimm.  It’s a fairly silly film but it’s enjoyable enough, if you’re a fan of director David DeCoteau’s unique aesthetic.  That means plenty of cheap special effects, a few names in the cast, one scene of gratuitous shirtlessness for Booboo Stewart, and an open-ended conclusion, just in case someone was willing to pay for a sequel.

Eric Roberts plays Mr. Sebastian.  He’s the kind-hearted headmaster at the school.  He doesn’t appear in many scenes but, as always, it’s nice to see Eric Roberts playing a nice guy for once.  At one point, Mr. Sebastian explains what is going on at the school and it doesn’t make the least bit of sense but I guess that’s magic for you.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Paul’s Case (1980)
  2. Star 80 (1983)
  3. Runaway Train (1985)
  4. To Heal A Nation (1988)
  5. Best of the Best (1989)
  6. Blood Red (1989)
  7. The Ambulance (1990)
  8. The Lost Capone (1990)
  9. Best of the Best II (1993)
  10. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  11. Voyage (1993)
  12. Freefall (1994)
  13. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  14. Sensation (1994)
  15. Dark Angel (1996)
  16. Doctor Who (1996)
  17. Most Wanted (1997)
  18. The Alternate (2000)
  19. Mercy Streets (2000)
  20. Tripfall (2000)
  21. Raptor (2001)
  22. Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 (2001)
  23. Strange Frequency (2001)
  24. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  25. Border Blues (2004)
  26. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  27. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  28. We Belong Together (2005)
  29. Hey You (2006)
  30. Cyclops (2008)
  31. Depth Charge (2008)
  32. Amazing Racer (2009)
  33. The Chaos Experiment (2009)
  34. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  35. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  36. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  37. The Expendables (2010) 
  38. Groupie (2010)
  39. Sharktopus (2010)
  40. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  41. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  42. Deadline (2012)
  43. The Mark (2012)
  44. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  45. The Night Never Sleeps (2012)
  46. Snow White: A Deadly Summer (2012)
  47. Assault on Wall Street (2013)
  48. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  49. Lovelace (2013)
  50. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  51. The Perfect Summer (2013)
  52. Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End (2013)
  53. Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire (2013)
  54. Self-Storage (2013)
  55. Sink Hole (2013)
  56. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  57. This Is Our Time (2013)
  58. Bigfoot vs DB Cooper (2014)
  59. Doc Holliday’s Revenge (2014)
  60. Eternity: The Movie (2014)
  61. Inherent Vice (2014)
  62. Road to the Open (2014)
  63. Rumors of War (2014)
  64. So This Is Christmas (2014)
  65. Amityville Death House (2015)
  66. Deadly Sanctuary (2015)
  67. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  68. Las Vegas Story (2015)
  69. Sorority Slaughterhouse (2015)
  70. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  71. Story of Eva (2015)
  72. Enemy Within (2016)
  73. Hunting Season (2016)
  74. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  75. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  76. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  77. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  78. Dark Image (2017)
  79. The Demonic Dead (2017)
  80. Black Wake (2018)
  81. Frank and Ava (2018)
  82. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  83. The Wrong Teacher (2018)
  84. Clinton Island (2019)
  85. Monster Island (2019)
  86. The Reliant (2019)
  87. The Savant (2019)
  88. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  89. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  90. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  91. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  92. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  93. Hard Luck Love Song (2020)
  94. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  95. Law of Attraction (2020)
  96. Top Gunner (2020)
  97. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  98. The Elevator (2021)
  99. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  100. Killer Advice (2021)
  101. Megaboa (2021)
  102. Night Night (2021)
  103. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  104. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  105. Red Prophecies (2021)
  106. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  107. The Wrong Mr. Right (2021)
  108. Bleach (2022)
  109. Dawn (2022)
  110. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  111. 69 Parts (2022)
  112. The Rideshare Killer (2022)
  113. The Wrong High School Sweetheart (2022)
  114. The Company We Keep (2023)
  115. D.C. Down (2023)
  116. If I Can’t Have You (2023)
  117. Megalodon: The Frenzy (2023)
  118. Aftermath (2024)
  119. Bad Substitute (2024)
  120. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  121. Insane Like Me? (2024)
  122. Space Sharks (2024)
  123. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  124. Broken Church (2025)
  125. Shakey Grounds (2025)
  126. When It Rains In L.A. (2025)

The Eric Roberts Collection: Snow White: A Deadly Summer (dir by David DeCoteau)


In 2012’s Snow White: A Deadly Summer, Snow (Shanley Caswell) is the teenage daughter of Grant (Eric Roberts).  Snow has been acting out ever since her mother died and Grant married Eve (Maureen McCormick).  Snow doesn’t feel that Eve loves her father and Eve is incredibly jealous of Snow.  In fact, Eve spends a lot of time standing in front of a mirror and talking about how much she doesn’t like her stepdaughter.

One morning, after Eve has convinced Grant that Snow is dangerously out-of-control, Snow is abducted and taken to one of those awful boot camps.  It’s the type of place where spoiled teenagers are taught discipline and good conduct.  At least, that’s how it advertises itself.  In truth, it’s a terrible place in the middle of the woods where the guards are sadists and no one is allowed the least bit of freedom.  Eve is planning on having Snow murdered at the camp so that she can have Grant all to herself.  Will Snow be able to escape?

Directed by David DeCoteau, this film doesn’t really have as much to do with Snow White as you might expect from the title.  Yes, Eve spends a lot of time talking in front of the mirror but the mirror itself never talks back.  That said, it’s actually a pretty entertaining film.  Casting Maureen McCormick as the Wicked Stepmother is a brilliant move and McCormick seems to really get into playing a villain.  (At times, she seems to be channeling Florence Henderson.)  Even more importantly, the film exposes the whole boot camp racket.  I can remember the old talk shows where out-of-control teens would be sent to “boot camp.”  The audience would always go crazy whenever the “drill sergeants” started yelling at the teens but, to me, it always seemed like being sent to one of those boot camps would actually make someone ever angrier than they were before.  That would certainly be true in my case.

I know what you’re saying, though.  “Lisa Marie, what about Eric Roberts?”  It’s interesting to see Eric Roberts playing a generally likable and sympathetic character here.  He gets to do a bit more than he usually does in films like this and he give a good performance.  You really worry about what’s going to happen to him when Maureen McCormick has him to herself.

The film ends with a nice little twist, though it’s probably one that you’ll see coming.  That said, this is still one of David DeCoteau’s better films.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Paul’s Case (1980)
  2. Star 80 (1983)
  3. Runaway Train (1985)
  4. To Heal A Nation (1988)
  5. Best of the Best (1989)
  6. Blood Red (1989)
  7. The Ambulance (1990)
  8. The Lost Capone (1990)
  9. Best of the Best II (1993)
  10. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  11. Voyage (1993)
  12. Freefall (1994)
  13. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  14. Sensation (1994)
  15. Dark Angel (1996)
  16. Doctor Who (1996)
  17. Most Wanted (1997)
  18. The Alternate (2000)
  19. Mercy Streets (2000)
  20. Tripfall (2000)
  21. Raptor (2001)
  22. Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 (2001)
  23. Strange Frequency (2001)
  24. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  25. Border Blues (2004)
  26. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  27. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  28. We Belong Together (2005)
  29. Hey You (2006)
  30. Cyclops (2008)
  31. Depth Charge (2008)
  32. Amazing Racer (2009)
  33. The Chaos Experiment (2009)
  34. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  35. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  36. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  37. The Expendables (2010) 
  38. Groupie (2010)
  39. Sharktopus (2010)
  40. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  41. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  42. Deadline (2012)
  43. The Mark (2012)
  44. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  45. The Night Never Sleeps (2012)
  46. Assault on Wall Street (2013)
  47. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  48. Lovelace (2013)
  49. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  50. The Perfect Summer (2013)
  51. Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End (2013)
  52. Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire (2013)
  53. Self-Storage (2013)
  54. Sink Hole (2013)
  55. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  56. This Is Our Time (2013)
  57. Bigfoot vs DB Cooper (2014)
  58. Doc Holliday’s Revenge (2014)
  59. Eternity: The Movie (2014)
  60. Inherent Vice (2014)
  61. Road to the Open (2014)
  62. Rumors of War (2014)
  63. So This Is Christmas (2014)
  64. Amityville Death House (2015)
  65. Deadly Sanctuary (2015)
  66. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  67. Las Vegas Story (2015)
  68. Sorority Slaughterhouse (2015)
  69. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  70. Story of Eva (2015)
  71. Enemy Within (2016)
  72. Hunting Season (2016)
  73. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  74. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  75. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  76. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  77. Dark Image (2017)
  78. The Demonic Dead (2017)
  79. Black Wake (2018)
  80. Frank and Ava (2018)
  81. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  82. The Wrong Teacher (2018)
  83. Clinton Island (2019)
  84. Monster Island (2019)
  85. The Reliant (2019)
  86. The Savant (2019)
  87. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  88. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  89. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  90. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  91. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  92. Hard Luck Love Song (2020)
  93. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  94. Law of Attraction (2020)
  95. Top Gunner (2020)
  96. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  97. The Elevator (2021)
  98. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  99. Killer Advice (2021)
  100. Megaboa (2021)
  101. Night Night (2021)
  102. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  103. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  104. Red Prophecies (2021)
  105. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  106. The Wrong Mr. Right (2021)
  107. Bleach (2022)
  108. Dawn (2022)
  109. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  110. 69 Parts (2022)
  111. The Rideshare Killer (2022)
  112. The Wrong High School Sweetheart (2022)
  113. The Company We Keep (2023)
  114. D.C. Down (2023)
  115. If I Can’t Have You (2023)
  116. Megalodon: The Frenzy (2023)
  117. Aftermath (2024)
  118. Bad Substitute (2024)
  119. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  120. Insane Like Me? (2024)
  121. Space Sharks (2024)
  122. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  123. Broken Church (2025)
  124. Shakey Grounds (2025)
  125. When It Rains In L.A. (2025)

Scenes That I Love: Eric Roberts In Star 80


1983’s Star 80 features one of Eric Roberts’s best and most disturbing performances.  On the one hand, it’s the film that proved Roberts’s talent.  On the other hand, it’s a film in which he does such a good job bringing the repellent Paul Snider to life that he reportedly struggled to convince casting agents that he could characters who weren’t shady and/or mentally unstable.

In this scene, Roberts-as-Snider gets his look down.  Snider, a man who has no real identity beyond his desire to be somebody, tries to disguise his emptiness through the right haircut and the right clothes.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Eric Roberts Edition


4 Shots from 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots from 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Happy birthday, Eric Roberts!

4 Shots From 4 Eric Roberts Films

Star 80 (1983, dir by Bob Fosse, DP: Sven Nyvkist)

The Pope of Greenwich Village (1984, dir by Stuart Rosenberg, DP: John Bailey)

Runaway Train (1985, dir by Andrei Konchalovsky, DP: Alan Hume)

The Dark Knight (2008, dir by Christopher Nolan, DP: Wally Pfister)

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Cutting Class With #ScarySocial!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting 1989’s Cutting Class!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime and Tubi!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy!

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.9 “Monkey Dreams”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week, Freddy has a message!

Episode 2.9 “Monkey Dreams”

(Dir by Robert Englund, originally aired on December 3rd, 1989)

At a college science lab, Joe (Joseph Cali) tries to communicate with aliens.  Next door, Jeannie (Sharon Mahoney) tries to teach her monkey to speak.  When Joe starts getting strange messages on his computer, he thinks that it’s an alien code.  Then it turns out that it’s actually just the monkey trying to type out its name on its own computer.  Joe is then murdered by his bookie.

Meanwhile, Dr. Lynch (Sherman Howard) is using the monkey for some experiments to see how much pain a living creature can take.  Dr. Lynch seems to change his mind when he hears the monkey speak.  But it turns out that we were just seeing the monkey’s dream.

“Think about it!” Freddy tells us.

Freddy Krueger, animal rights activist?  I guess it makes sense when you consider that Robert Englund directed this episode.  The episode’s message was heartfelt but it seemed a bit out-of-place on a show about a undead child molester.  Whatever message you want to deliver, Freddy Krueger probably isn’t the best one to do it.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.16 “Saving Face”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, things continue to be awkward in Boston.

Episode 3.16 “Saving Face”

(Dir by Charles Braverman, originally aired on January 16th, 1985)

This episode of St. Elsewhere was even busier than usual.

  • Tough-as-nails Dr. Mary Woodley (Karen Austin) has been hired to oversee the ER.  Dr. Fiscus isn’t happy about it.  He’s going to have to work for a woman?  Agck!
  • Dr. Cavanero is also not happy.  Of course, the last time that St. Eligius hired a new female doctor, Cavanero told everyone at the hospital that she was a lesbian and, for some reason, this led to the doctor having to leave town.  (It was the 80s.)  Maybe, just maybe, there are reasons to have doubts about Cavanero’s professionalism.
  • Dr. Westphall shows Dr. Woodley around the hospital and, as usual, comes across as being the saddest man on the planet.
  • Dr. Westphall informs Jack that he will be allowed to continue on as a resident.  However, Westphall also rather glumly states that he will be watching Jack from now on.  Jack better not screw up or Westphall will “come down” on him.  Personally, I think Westphall is too depressed to really do much of anything.
  • Feeling guilty about Murray’s death, Elliott brings Mrs. Hufnagle a ham.  Mrs. Hufnagle has an allergic reaction and ends up back in the hospital.  “She thinks I tried to kill her!” Elliott says.
  • A teenager (Tim Van Patten) brings in his pregnant girlfriend, who has OD’d.  Dr. Woodley says she is required to call family services.  Myself, I started shouting, “I am da futah!” as soon as Tim “Stegman” Van Patten showed up on the screen.
  • Dr. Caldwell performs extensive plastic surgery on a disfigured young woman.  When Dr. Ehrlich says that the patient looks like she got hit with the “ugly stick,” Caldwell kicks Ehrlich off his team.
  • Nobody wants to work with Ehrlich!  Dr. Craig declines to invite Ehrlich to his 34 year anniversary party.  Cavanero agrees to take Ehrlich as her date.  “What are you doing here!?” Craig snaps as soon as he sees Ehrlich in his living room.
  • Dr. Craig’s younger brother, William (Lou Richards), also shows up.  He was invited at Ellen’s insistence, despite the fact that William and Mark haven’t spoken in over four years.  Mark feels that William has wasted his life and his potential.  But when William proves to be the life of the party, it becomes apparent that Mark is actually jealous of how likable his younger brother is.
  • In the kitchen, Mark and William have a long conversation.  William admits that he’s struggling to pay the bills.  Mark writes him a check.  For a few minutes, the brothers actually reconcile.
  • However, Mark later hears William joking about how much money surgeon’s make and he loses his temper.  In front of the entire party, he calls out William and reveals that he doesn’t have a dime to his name.
  • That night, after everyone else has left and William has gone to the guest room, Ellen tells Mark that he should apologize.  Mark agrees and says he’ll do it in the morning.
  • Later, during the night, Mark steps out of his bedroom and discovers that William has gone home.  He left behind the check, which he ripped in half.  Mark stares at the check and starts to cry.

This was another episode that did a good job balancing the serious and the humorous.  Dr. Ehrlich’s inability to say the right thing will never not be funny.  For that matter, the same can be said of Dr. Craig’s general irritation with everything.  And yet, seeing Dr. Craig break down and cry was truly heartbreaking.  Dr. Craig and Dr. Ehrlich share an inability to socialize and a habit of screwing up even the kindest of gestures.  Even when they try to do the right thing, they somehow always manage to screw it up.

I wanted to cry for all of them.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix for The Trip!


 

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly watch parties.  On Twitter, I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday and I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday.  On Mastodon, I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, I will be hosting #FridayNightFlix!  The movie?  1967s The Trip!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, find The Trip on Prime, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  I’ll be there happily tweeting.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

See you there!