4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to actor/director John Stockwell! Though the critics might not always realize it, Galveston-born John Stockwell is responsible for some of the best beach movies of the 21st Century. No one can make the beach and the ocean look as inviting (or as dangerous) as John Stockwell.
It’s time for….
4 Shots From 4 John Stockwell Films
Blue Crush (2002, dir by John Stockwell, DP: David Hennings)
Into the Blue (2005, dir by John Stockwell, DP: Shane Hurlbut and Pete Zuccarini)
Turistas (2006, dir by John Stockwell, DP: Enrique Chediak and Peter Zuccarini)
In the Blood (2014, dir by John Stockwell, DP: P.J. Lopez)
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week …. OH MY GOD, IT’S JOHN STOCKWELL!
Episode 1.23 “Badge of Honor”
(Dir by Michelle Manning, originally aired on July 5th, 1988)
Victor Haas (David Proval) is a club owner and also the head of Canada’s most violent ring of counterfeiters. Detective Russ Sharko (Val Avery) is obsessed with taking Victor down. Victor attempts to dissuade Sharko by using a car bomb to take out Sharko’s wife. That just makes Sharko more determined. However, when Sharko’s obsession leads to a bust-gone-wrong and a dead cop, Sharko is kicked off the force. Sharko now has to take Victor and his man down on his own. Fortunately, he happens to own an antique sheriff’s badge. When he pins the badge on someone, that person suffers a violent death.
This sounds like a job for Micki and Ryan. (Jack, again, is out of town.) However, Micki and Ryan are distracted by the arrival of Tim (played by one of my favorite 80s leading men, the superhot John Stockwell). Tim is Micki’s ex-boyfriend and soon, he and Micki are picking up where they left off. (When the season began, Micki was engaged so I guess Tim must have been the boyfriend before the fiancé.) Ryan gets jealous because — surprise! — he’s kind of in love with Micki. Of course, just a few episodes ago, Ryan was in love with a preacher’s daughter. And then, after that, he was in love with Catherine, who was murdered by an evil journalist. Ryan seems to fall in love easily so….
Actually, wait a minute. RYAN AND MICKI ARE COUSINS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, RYAN!? Of course, they’re not first cousins but still …. it just doesn’t seem right!
Anyway, at first, it seems like Ryan might be correct to be suspicious of Tim because Tim approaches Victor and offers to help him with his counterfeiting ring. But then we learn that Tim is with the FBI! Why is the FBI working in Canada? I guess maybe the show’s producers were still trying to convince viewers that Friday the 13th took place in America, despite the fact that all of the directors and most of the actors were Canadian and the show itself was clearly filmed in wintry Canada. (This episode is a bit of an oddity in that all three of the main guest stars — David Proval, John Stockwell, and Val Avery — were born in the Lower 48.) The important thing is that Tim’s a good guy but — uh oh! — Tim also gets shot and dies at the end of the episode. Micki is a little bit sad but Ryan is kind of relieved because it means he’ll have a chance to hook up with his cousin….
SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL!?
This episode got a little bogged down with all of the counterfeiting stuff. It felt more like an episode of Miami Vice than Friday the 13th. The badge was also a bit of a boring antique because it didn’t really do anything other than kill people. Other antiques changed the personality of the people who owned them and demanded a quid pro quo for their powers. This antique is far more simple and kind of dull.
Oh well. It’s a less-than-memorable episode but John Stockwell was hot and I’m a bit disappointed that he apparently won’t be making a return appearance.
Next week, we meet Ryan’s father and discover that he’s not a good man at all!
4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to actor/director John Stockwell! Though the critics might not always realize it, Galveston-born John Stockwell is responsible for some of the best beach movies of the 21st Century. No one can make the beach and the ocean look as inviting (or as dangerous) as John Stockwell.
It’s time for….
4 Shots From 4 John Stockwell Films
Blue Crush (2002, dir by John Stockwell, DP: David Hennings)
Into the Blue (2005, dir by John Stockwell, DP: Shane Hurlbut and Pete Zuccarini)
Turistas (2006, dir by John Stockwell, DP: Enrique Chediak and Peter Zuccarini)
In the Blood (2014, dir by John Stockwell, DP: P.J. Lopez)
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1983’s Quarterback Princess. It can be viewed on YouTube!
Quarterback Princess begins with Ralph Maida (Don Murray) dropping in on the coach of a high school football team in the small town of Minnvile, Oregon. Ralph explains that he and his family are going to be relocating to the town from Canada. His eldest child wants to play football and Ralph is curious as to when the team will be holding the tryouts. The coach asks what position Ralph’s son plays. Ralph explains that Tami is his daughter and she plays quarterback. After an awkward moment of silence, the coach explains that he’ll have to talk to the school board.
Yes, Quarterback Princess is one of those films. It’s an only girl on the team film, in which an athletic teenager has to convince not only her male teammates but also all of the stodgy old people that she can play just as well as the boys. On the one hand, films (and shows, as Degrassi had an entire storyline about Jane trying to get on the school’s football team) like this are usually entertaining because it’s fun to watch a girl succeed while all of the men sputter with outrage until the team starts winning. On the other hand, they’re always a little bit difficult for me to relate to because I would honestly have no interest in doing what Tami’s doing and it’s hard for me to understand why anyone else would either. I mean, seriously why would anyone want to live in Oregon when Montana’s just a short drive away?
Quarterback Princess is based on a true story. In real life, Tami Maida was 14 year old when she joined her high school football team as their quarterback. That season, the team had a record of 7-1 and they won the state championship. Tami was also elected Homecoming Queen that seem year. The parts of the movie that seem like the type of thing that only a screenwriter could come up actually happened. Helen Hunt, who was 20 years old at the time, plays Tami. When I watched the film, I thought Hunt did a good job in the scenes off field but I thought she was a bit unconvincing when she was actually playing the game and throwing the ball. Fortunately, I did some research before I actually wrote this review and I discovered that Tami served as Helen Hunt’s stand-in during the film and, in most of the game scenes, that actually is Tami throwing the ball and running around the field. That shows you how much I know about football.
Quarterback Princes is definitely a made-for-television production. These are the only high school football players in existence who neither drink nor curse. For that matter, the coaches are surprisingly nice as well. That said, it isn’t bad. The best scenes are the ones that feature Tami and her family adjusting to Tami’s sudden fame. Daphne Zuniga gives a sympathetic performance as Tami’s sister, who is not particularly happy about how Tami’s sudden fame has changed everyone’s lives. The always likable John Stockwell plays Tami’s boyfriend and the two of them are a believable couple. Noel Black, who also directed Pretty Poison, does a good job of keeping the action moving at a steady pace. Probably the worse thing you can say about this film is that it was a bit predictable but, in this case, all of the predictable stuff actually happened so what can you do?
Fifteen years into the future, a plague has wiped out almost everyone legally old enough to drink and it has instead left behind a post-apocalyptic hellscape dominated by teenagers. Tired of living in the boring desert, Lee (John Stockwell) hops on his motorcycle, puts on a skull mask, and drives to a nearby city. He hopes to join the Clippers, one of the two gangs that is fighting for control of the city. However, the Clippers aren’t as easy to join as Lee thought they would be. As well, an evil corporation (led by Robby Benson of all people) is manipulating the two gangs as a part of a plan to take over the city and also the world.
City Limits is one of those films that would probably be totally forgotten if it hadn’t been featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It’s a good episode but, unfortunately, it’s also led to City Limits getting a reputation for worse than it actually is.
City Limits is a dumb, low-budget movie that was made to capitalize on the success of films like Mad Max. The plot is impossible to follow, too many scenes are shot in the middle of the night, and Robby Benson is somehow even less intimidating as the villain as you would expect him to be. (All of Benson’s scenes take place in the same bare office and feature him sitting at a desk. It probably took a day at most for Benson to do all of his scenes.) Even with all that in mind, though, City Limits is a fun movie, especially if you can turn off your mind, just relax, and not worry about trying to make it all make sense. John Stockwell is a likably goofy hero and, Benson aside, the film has got a surprisingly good supporting cast, including Rae Dawn Chong, Kim Cattrall, Tony Plana, Darrell Larson, and even Kane Hodder in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-him type of role. James Earl Jones wears a big fur coat and blows people up. He also narrates the film, which automatically elevates everything that happens. Some of the action scenes are exciting. Fans of people shouting insults while riding motorcycles will find a lot to enjoy in City Limits. And, finally, there are a few genuinely funny moments. I loved that the gangs borrowed all of their plans for old comic books.
City Limits is stupid but entertaining, whether you’re watching it on your own or with Joel and the Bots.
First released in 1986, Top Gun is a film that pretty much epitomizes a certain style of filmmaking. Before I wrote this review, I did a little research and I actually read some of the reviews that were published when Top Gun first came out. Though it may be a considered a classic today, critics in 1986 didn’t care much for it. The most common complaint was that the story was trite and predictable. The film’s reliance on style over substance led to many critics complaining that the film was basically just a two-hour music video. Some of the more left-wing critics complained that Top Gun was essentially just an expensive commercial for the military industrial complex. Director Oliver Stone, who released the antiwar Platoon the same year as Top Gun, said in an interview with People magazine that the message of Top Gun was, “If I start a war, I’ll get a girlfriend.”
Oliver Stone was not necessarily wrong about that. The film, as we all know, stars Tom Cruise as Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, a cocky young Navy flyer who attends the TOPGUN Academy, where he competes with Iceman (Val Kilmer) for the title of Top Gun and where he also spends a lot of time joking around with everyone’s favorite (and most obviously doomed) character, Goose (Anthony Edwards). Maverick does get a girlfriend, Charlie (Kelly McGillis), but only after he’s had plenty of chances to show both how reckless and how skilled he can be while flying in a fighter plane. Though the majority of the film is taken up with scenes of training and volleyball, the end of the film does give Maverick a chance to prove himself in combat when he and Iceman end up fighting a group of ill-defined enemies for ill-defined reasons. It may not be an official war but it’s close enough.
That said, I think Oliver Stone was wrong about one key thing. Maverick doesn’t get a girlfriend because he started a war. He gets a girlfriend because he won a war. Top Gun is all about winning. Maverick and Iceman are two of the most absurdly competitive characters in film history and, as I watched the film last weekend, it was really hard not to laugh at just how much Cruise and Kilmer got into playing those two roles. Iceman and Maverick can’t even greet each other without it becoming a competition over who gave the best “hello.” By the time the two of them are facing each other in a totally savage beach volleyball match, it’s hard to look at either one of them without laughing. And yet, regardless of how over-the-top it may be, you can’t help but get caught up in their rivalry. Cruise and Kilmer are both at their most charismatic in Top Gun and watching the two of them when they were both young and fighting to steal each and every scene, it doesn’t matter that both of them would later become somewhat controversial for their off-screen personalities. What matters, when you watch Top Gun, is that they’re both obviously stars.
“I’ve got the need for speed,” Tom Cruise and Anthony Edwards say as they walk away from their plane. The same thing could be said about the entire movie. Top Gun doesn’t waste any time getting to the good stuff. We know that Maverick is cocky and has father issues because he’s played by Tom Cruise and Tom Cruise always plays cocky characters who have father issues. We know that Iceman is arrogant because he’s played by Val Kilmer. We know that Goose is goofy because his nickname is Goose and he’s married to Meg Ryan. The film doesn’t waste much time on exploring why its characters are the way they are. Instead, it just accepts them for being the paper-thin characters that they are. The film understands that the the most important thing is to get them into their jets and sends them into the sky. Does it matter that it’s sometimes confusing to keep track of who is chasing who? Not at all. The planes are sleek and loud. The men flying them are sexy and dangerous. The music never stops and the sun never goes down unless the film needs a soulful shot of Maverick deep in thought. We’ve all got the need for speed.
In so many ways, Top Gun is a silly film but, to its credit, it also doesn’t make any apologies for being silly. Instead, Top Gun embraces its hyperkinetic and flashy style. That’s why critics lambasted it in 1986 and that’s why we all love it in 2020. And if the pilots of Top Gun do start a war — well, it happens. I mean, it’s Maverick and Iceman! How can you hold it against them? When you watch them fly those planes, you know that even if they start World War III, it’ll be worth it. If the world’s going to end, Maverick’s the one we want to end it.
Released in 2002, Blue Crush tells the story of Anne Marie Chadwick (Kate Bosworth).
Anne Marie lives in Hawaii and she’s got a lot going on in her life. Because her mother recently abandoned her daughters so that she could run off to Las Vegas with her good-for-nothing boyfriend, Anne Marie is practically raising her 14 year-old sister, Penny (Mike Boorem). Anne Marie is also working as a maid at a beach-side hotel, where she and her two best friends, Eden (Michelle Rodriguez) and Lena (Sanoe Lake), spend their time cleaning up messes and trying on the guests’s clothes. I have to admit that, if I was a maid, I’d probably try on the clothes too. However, after watching Blue Crush several times, I can tell you that the last thing I would ever want to do would be to work as a hotel maid. Seriously, some of the messes that Anne Marie, Eden, and Lena had to deal with were so disgusting that I had to look away from the screen. Bleh!
Anne Marie and her two friends are also surfers! In fact, surfing is pretty much what their lives revolve around. Anne Marie has been invited to compete in an upcoming competition but she’s haunted by an incident that occurred several years before, an extreme wipe-out that nearly caused her to drown. (Despite all of the beautiful surfing footage, this film does little to alleviate my own extreme drowning phobia.) Despite Eden’s encouragement, Anne Marie isn’t sure that she has what it takes to get back into the competition circuit.
Unfortunately, there’s a group of NFL players staying at the hotel and they totally trash their room and leave a huge mess for the maids to clean up. (At one point, Lena finds a used condom stuck to the bottom of her shoe and totally freaks out. I would have to. I once moved into an apartment that was already inhabited by several friends of mine and, while I was cleaning, I came across like nearly a hundred used condoms hidden in every nook and cranny of the place. I mean, I was happy that everyone was having sex but seriously, don’t just leave your condom on the floor after it’s been used. Pick up after yourself! Anyway, where was I?) Fortunately, however, one of the players is a totally hot quarterback named Matt (Matthew Davis). Matt and his fellow players hire Anne Marie and her friends to teach them how to surf. Matt and Anne Marie end up falling in love, mostly because they’re the two best-looking people on the beach. With Matt’s support, will Anne Marie be able to conquer her fears and compete in the competition? It would be a really depressing movie if she didn’t.
So, let’s see. What do you we have here?
We’ve got lots of pretty shots of pretty people running along the beach in slow motion.
We’ve got a soft-focus love scene between the best-looking people in the movie.
We’ve got a ton of exciting surfing footage.
We’ve got a thoroughly predictable plot that still kind of works because everyone involved is so good-looking.
Yep, this must be a John Stockwell film.
Seriously, John Stockwell is one of my favorite directors because he always delivers exactly what he promises. He makes films about beautiful people in beautiful places and if that’s not enough for you, too bad. He’s a genre director and makes no apologies for it. There’s a refreshing lack of pretension when it comes to John Stockwell’s filmography and it’s hard not to appreciate the universe that he creates in films like Crazy/Beautiful, Into the Deep, In the Blood, and this one. It’s a universe where everyone knows that they’re in a genre movie and they behave accordingly. It’s a world where the scenery is beautiful, the people are attractive, and nearly every problem can be solved by a kiss or the proper one-liner.
You could probably make the argument that the storyline of Blue Crush is shallow and a bit obvious. I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with you. But who cares? Kate Bosworth and Matthew Davis have a tone of chemistry, the Hawaiian scenery is gorgeous, and well, I just kind of love this movie.
What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!
If you were having trouble getting to sleep at 3 in the morning, you could have turned over to Showtime and watched the 2011 action film, Cat Run.
So, here’s what you get when you watch Cat Run. You get:
A few beach scenes
Some stylish action sequences
A nearly incoherent plot
Lots of naked people
Two bumbling heroes
A prostitute with a heart of gold, a young child, and an encrypted hard drive
A cold-as-ice female assassin played by a distinguished, Oscar-nominated performer
Massive and sudden changes in tone as the film goes from comedy to action to comedy again
Sex
Violence
In other words, Cat Run is a John Stockwell film. As a director, Stockwell specializes in making unpretentious films, ones that usually feature beautiful people doing stuff on the beach. He makes the type of films that will probably never win an Academy Award (though Kirsten Dunst perhaps deserved a nomination for her performance in Stockwell’s Crazy/Beautiful) but which are still occasionally entertaining if you’re in the right mood for them. (Seriously, just watch Stockwell’s In The Blood and then ask yourself why he could make the perfect Gina Carano film while Steven Soderbergh couldn’t.)
Cat Run takes place is Montenegro. The prostitute is named Cat (Paz Vega). The encrypted hard drive contains footage of a politician (Christopher McDonald) killing a woman at an orgy. The two bumbling detectives who help her out are named Julian (Alphonso McAuley) and Anthony (Scott Mechlowicz) and they occasionally get a funny line or two. The assassin who is sent to take care of Cat is Helen and she’s played by Janet McTeer. Helen is coldly efficient and ruthless killer but she has a difficult time tracking down Cat. That’s the way it always goes, isn’t it? The bad guys are always super competent until the movie begins, at which point they suddenly can’t shoot straight.
Anyway, Cat Run is not a particularly memorable movie but it has its entertaining moments. It’s hyper stylish and the cast seems to be having a good time. At the very least, you get the feeling that everyone probably enjoyed spending their days off in Montenegro and good for them! McTeer, not surprisingly, steals the film but Paz Vega has some good moments too. All in all, this is an enjoyable film that doesn’t have a hint of ambition. It is what it is and what’s wrong with that?
Vista Verde, an exclusive suburban high school in California, has a problem. Some of the students have a bad attitude. Some of them are experimenting with drugs. Graffiti is showing up all over the school. What better way to return peace to Vista Verde than for a bunch of WASPy rich kids and other jocks to organize into a secret vigilante force? The headmaster thinks that it’s a great idea and soon “The Sentinels” are holding mock trials and shooting the other students with paintball guns. One bad kid even turns up dead. Graffiti is no joke.
The leader of the Sentinels is a rich kid named Randy (John Stockwell, who also co-wrote the script). Randy knows the importance of good PR so he befriend the editor of the school newspaper, Donny (J. Eddie Peck). Donny may not be rich but, because of his amazing journalism skills, he has been allowed to attend Vista Verde as a magnet student. At first, Donny is skeptical of The Sentinels but he soon finds himself seduced by not only Randy’s wealthy lifestyle but also by Randy’s beautiful girlfriend (Carey Lowell). Meanwhile, Donny’s friend Krooger (Bradford Bancroft) not only listens to punk music but also has a mohawk so he naturally becomes the latest target of the Sentinels.
A teen film with a conscience, Dangerously Close was one of the better films to come out of the Cannon Group in the mid-80s. The script is smarter than the average 80s teen film and Albert Pyun’s slick direction captures the appeal of being young and rich in the suburbs. Stockwell, Peck, and Lowell all give better than average performances and there is actually some unexpected depth to Stockwell and Peck’s friendship. Stockwell does not play Randy as just being a typical rich villain. Instead, he is someone who thinks he’s doing the right thing even when he’s not.
The cast is full of faces that will be familiar to anyone who has ever been a fan of 80s high school films. Keep an eye out for Thom Matthews, Don Michael Paul, Gerard Christopher, Miguel Nunez, Jr., and DeeDee Pfeiffer, all doing their part to keep the halls of Vista Verde safe.
Stephen King turned 70 last month, and the Master of Horror’s grip on the American psyche is stronger than ever, thanks to the unprecedented horror hit IT!, now playing at a theater near you. King’s macabre novels have been adapted for the screen since 1976’s CARRIE with varying degrees of success; some have been unabashed genre classics, others complete bombs, most lie somewhere in the middle.
Top: Stephen King 1983 Bottom: John Carpenter 1983
Director John Carpenter had a string of successes beginning with 1978’s seminal slasher film HALLOWEEN, but his 1982 remake of THE THING, now considered a masterpiece of the genre, was a box office disappointment. Carpenter took on King’s novel CHRISTINE as a work-for-hire project. I recently watched it for the first time, and think not only is it one of the best adaptations of King’s work to hit the screen, it’s one of Carpenter’s best horror…
Vista Verde, an exclusive suburban high school in California, has a problem. Some of the students have a bad attitude. Some of them are experimenting with drugs. Graffiti is showing up all over the school. What better way to return peace to Vista Verde than for a bunch of WASPy rich kids and other jocks to organize into a secret vigilante force? The headmaster thinks that it’s a great idea and soon “The Sentinels” are holding mock trials and shooting the other students with paintball guns. One bad kid even turns up dead. Graffiti is no joke.
Through the Shattered Lens 