Retro Television Review: Law & Order 8.6 and Homicide 6.5 “Baby, It’s You”

Posted on September 27, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, Homicide crosses over with Law & Order.

Law & Order 8.6 “Baby, It’s You”

(Dir by Edwin Sherin, originally aired on November 12th, 1997)

Homicide 6.5 “Baby, It’s You”

(Dir by Edwin Sherin, originally aired on November 14th, 1997)

In New York City, Lennie Briscoe (Jerry Orbach) and Rey Curtis (Benjamin Bratt) find themselves investigating the death of a 14 year-old model named Brittany Janeway. The daughter of plastic surgeon Steven Janeway (Tom Tammi) and his wife Gayle (Maureen Anderman), Brittany died after complaining to her father about abdominal pain. The medical examiner determines that, two weeks before her death, Brittany was sexually assaulted with such severity that it resulted in internal injuries that led to toxic shock.

When the detectives learn that Brittany was in Baltimore two weeks earlier, they call Lt. Giardello and ask if he can send two of his detectives to check on the family’s Maryland home. The job falls to Detective Munch, who is still angry over the fact that Briscoe once slept with his first wife. Munch asks Falsone (ugh!) to accompany him. When Munch and Falsone learn that the son of the Janeways’s New York housekeeper was seen in Baltimore on the night that Brittany was raped, they have a suspect. Danvers sends them to New York with one mission. Arrest the guy and bring him back to Baltimore to stand trial. Jack McCoy (Sam Waterston) is not happy about that. Because Brittany died in New York, he feels that it’s his case to prosecute. Because the rape that led to Brittany’s death happened in Baltimore, Danvers claims that it’s his case.

Of course, once the suspect is arrested, it turns out that he wasn’t the perpetrator. Instead, he was a witness. According to him, Brittany had already been raped by the time he arrived at the house. The suspicion immediately shifts to Dr. Janeway. When the doctor is arrested in Baltimore, McCoy heads down to Maryland to argue that the case should be tried in New York. Judge Andahl (Sagan Lewis), who was last seen getting Elijah Wood off of a murder charge, disagrees. However, she allows McCoy to be co-counsel with Danvers.

In a twist that will not surprise anyone who has ever seen an episode of Law & Order, it turns out that Brittany was not assaulted by her father. Instead, she was assaulted by her mother.

The last time Law & Order and Homicide did a cross-over, the emphasis was on Pembleton and Bayliss and their unorthodox interrogation technique running up against McCoy’s need for admissible evidence. This time, when McCoy goes down to Baltimore, he quickly befriends and starts to discuss life with — you guessed it! — Detective Paul Falsone! In fact, Pembleton and Bayliss are barely present in this cross-over. While Munch does get to engage in some fun passive-aggressive banter with Lennie Briscoe, this cross-over is ultimately all about Paul Falsone, the super detective who never makes a mistake.

Good Lord, why? WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE ABOUT FALSONE? Falsone is a boring character. We are five episodes into the sixth season and Falsone has been a major part of four of them. The veteran Homicide actors were pushed to the side so that Jon Seda could wander around and mutter his lines. I get that show was trying to appeal to fans of more action-orientated cop shows with the character of Falsone but, in what I’ve seen so far, Seda has not shown a hint of charisma in the role. The fact that Homicide keeps insisting that Falsone is the greatest detective in the history of detectives does not make the character any more intriguing.

This crossover was a disappointment, The story, which was obviously based on the JonBenet Ramsey case, was sordid simply for the sake of being sordid and the big reveal that the murderer was the mother was not quite the shocking moment that it was bult up to be. Anyone familiar with Law & Order could have guessed who the murderer was going to be. And then, on top of everything else — FALSONE!

This was not a good one.

Horror Film Review: The Guardian (dir by William Friedkin)

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

OH MY GOD! THAT TREE IS EATING PEOPLE!

“You mean the tree played by Kevin Costner?”

No, no. You’re thinking of the wrong Guardian, my imaginary friend. This Guardian is from 1990 and it’s the killer tree film that was directed by William Friedkin.

“William Friedkin directed a killer tree film?”

Apparently so.

“What’s it about?”

It’s kind of hard to say. Camilla (Jenny Seagrove) is hired as a nanny and proceeds to not only claim the baby as her own but also tries to seduce the baby’s father away from his wife.

“I think it’s cute the way that you always mention the actor’s name is parenthesis….”

Well, that’s what we’re taught to do. But back to The Guardian. The Guardian could also be a movie about a druid who steals babies so that she can sacrifice them to a tree God.

“You mean like that big talking tree from the from Lord of the Rings?”

I guess. Or maybe Camilla is a reincarnation of Lillith, the demon who kidnaps babies in the night.

“Poor Lillith, so misunderstood.”

Or maybe Camilla is a witch who can make wolves and tress do her bidding!

“Like Sabrina?”

I don’t want to talk about fcking Sabrina.

“Did you mean to spell the f-word that way?”

I try to keep my actual cursing to minimum. That way, it means something.

“That’s sweet.”

Whatever. Back to The Guardian! It’s also possible that Camilla actually is a tree that’s come to life and is now doing evil tree stuff!

“So, what you’re saying is that the film is unclear about just what exactly Camilla’s deal is?”

That’s it, exactly! The Guardian is a notorious mess and it’s probably significant that this is one of two films that William Friedkin doesn’t even acknowledge in his otherwise tell-all autobiography, Friedkin Confidential. Reportedly, there were problems on the set. From what little I’ve found online, it would appear that Friedkin originally wanted the movie to be about a mentally deranged woman who thought she was a druid. But the producers wanted a horror film about a woman who actually was a druid. Somehow, this eventually led to The Guardian becoming a movie about a woman who is actually a tree. What’s funny is that the film itself feels like a typical crazy nanny Lifetime film, up until the moment that one of Camilla’s employers attempts to take a chainsaw to that tree.

“Trees don’t like chainsaws.”

Yeah, no joke. Anyway, before all that happens, Camilla is killing people left and right but yet no one seems to notice. She doesn’t make any secret of the fact that she’s trying to seduce Phil (Dwier Brown) but Phil’s wife, Kate (Carey Lowell), doesn’t seem to care. Instead, Phil and Kate attempt to set Camilla up with their friend, goofy Ned (Brad Hall). It doesn’t take long for Ned to get devoured by a bunch of wolves. That’s what happens when you walk in on a druid nanny turning into a tree, I guess.

“Isn’t Brad Hall married to Julia Louis-Dreyfus?”

Indeed, he is! And you don’t see him in any movies nowadays so I guess getting eaten by wolves was kind of the last straw. But the movie gets even weirder! There’s also an odd scene in which three gang members just happen to be walking through the woods when they come across Camilla and the baby. They kind of pop up out of nowhere and they immediately turn out to be some pretty bad guys. Luckily, a tree pops up and kills the all. Is the tree Camilla or is the tree someone else? Who knows?

“Gang members in the woods? You mean like in Friday the 13th Part 3?”

Strangely enough, yes. Even stranger is the fact that no one notices anything strange about Camilla. To be honest, there are times that Camilla might as well be wearing a sign that reads, “Druid” but no one seems to notice. Then again, it’s debatable whether or not she was actually a druid. She might actually be a tree and I guess it’s understandable that something like that wouldn’t naturally occur to anyone. I mean, I think we’ve all probably met a druid or two but someone who is actually a tree? Well, that’s unusual.

“Very unusual!”

Anyway, The Guardian is a messy film and I’m afraid that I’m probably making it sound more fun than it actually is. If you do watch it, please be sure to chime in with your thoughts on whether or not Camilla is actually a tree. I look forward to hearing your opinion!

“Don’t you want to hear my opinion?”

No.

Yes, this an actual scene from The Guardian.

A Movie A Day #320: Dangerously Close (1986, directed by Albert Pyun)

Posted on November 25, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Vista Verde, an exclusive suburban high school in California, has a problem. Some of the students have a bad attitude. Some of them are experimenting with drugs. Graffiti is showing up all over the school. What better way to return peace to Vista Verde than for a bunch of WASPy rich kids and other jocks to organize into a secret vigilante force? The headmaster thinks that it’s a great idea and soon “The Sentinels” are holding mock trials and shooting the other students with paintball guns. One bad kid even turns up dead. Graffiti is no joke.

The leader of the Sentinels is a rich kid named Randy (John Stockwell, who also co-wrote the script). Randy knows the importance of good PR so he befriend the editor of the school newspaper, Donny (J. Eddie Peck). Donny may not be rich but, because of his amazing journalism skills, he has been allowed to attend Vista Verde as a magnet student. At first, Donny is skeptical of The Sentinels but he soon finds himself seduced by not only Randy’s wealthy lifestyle but also by Randy’s beautiful girlfriend (Carey Lowell). Meanwhile, Donny’s friend Krooger (Bradford Bancroft) not only listens to punk music but also has a mohawk so he naturally becomes the latest target of the Sentinels.

A teen film with a conscience, Dangerously Close was one of the better films to come out of the Cannon Group in the mid-80s. The script is smarter than the average 80s teen film and Albert Pyun’s slick direction captures the appeal of being young and rich in the suburbs. Stockwell, Peck, and Lowell all give better than average performances and there is actually some unexpected depth to Stockwell and Peck’s friendship. Stockwell does not play Randy as just being a typical rich villain. Instead, he is someone who thinks he’s doing the right thing even when he’s not.

The cast is full of faces that will be familiar to anyone who has ever been a fan of 80s high school films. Keep an eye out for Thom Matthews, Don Michael Paul, Gerard Christopher, Miguel Nunez, Jr., and DeeDee Pfeiffer, all doing their part to keep the halls of Vista Verde safe.