Retro Television Review: Getting Away From It All (dir by Lee Philips)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1972’s Getting Away From It All!  It  can be viewed on YouTube.

For Fred Clark (Larry Hagman) and Mark Selby (Gary Collins), life is New York City just isn’t that much fun anymore.  The weather is terrible.  The traffic cannot be navigated.  The only people ruder than the cabbies are the doormen.  Fred and Mark have come up with the perfect plan.  They’ve decided to move to a small country town and purchase a house on a small island.  In fact, they’re going to buy the entire island!  It’s surprisingly cheap.  Fred and Mark don’t ever really stop to wonder why the island is available for so little money.  Seriously, if you’re buying an island, you should probably ask yourself those questions.

Mark’s wife, Alice (E.J. Peaker), is enthusiastic about the idea.  Less excited is Fred’s wife, Helen (Barbara Feldon).  Helen enjoys living in the city and having a nice job in an office building.  She gets along with her boss (played by Jim Backus, one of many veteran actors to show up in a small role in this film).  Perhaps hoping that Fred will change his mind once he’s confronted with the reality of actually living in the country, Helen finally gives in.

It does turn out that the island is not quite the paradise that Fred and Mark were expecting.  The only way to get out to the island is in a leaky rowboat.  The house is falling apart and, as Helen is disgusted to learn, it also doesn’t have indoor plumbing.  There’s no electricity either but fortunately, the local handyman is working on it.  His name is Herbie and he’s played by a very young and thin Randy Quaid.  If you’ve ever wanted to hear Randy Quaid speak with an exaggerated New England accent, this is the film for you.  There’s nothing convincing about Quaid’s accent but it still seems only fair, considering all of the Yankee actors who have butchered the Southern accent over the years.

Just when it looks like Fred and Mark have managed to make the Island livable, they get a disturbing letter.  As the new owners of the Island, they owe 20 years worth of back taxes.  As Fred puts it, the tax bill is more than either of them can afford.  If they can’t raise the money, the town will take back the Island.   Fred and Mark consider trying to get jobs but it turns out that neither one of them knows much about being fisherman.  They then decide to charm the town into nullifying the tax bill.  That turns out to be more difficult than either man imagines.

Getting Away From It All is a comedy that deals with a universal theme, the desire to escape from the harshness of everyday life and find a perfect place to which to escape.  That said, the film’s main reason for existing is a parade of comedic cameos.  Jim Backus, Vivian Vance, Joe E. Ross, Burgess Meredith, Paul Hartman, and J. Pat O’Malley all appear in small roles, appearing just long enough for 1972 viewers to say, “Hey, I recognize that person!”  The end result is a rather shallow film that has a few chuckle-worthy moments.  (Again, Randy Quaid pretending to be from Maine has to be worth something.)

In the end, for all of the film’s celebration of getting away from it all, it’s hard not to feel that Gary, Mark, Alice, and Helen will all end up back in Manhattan sooner than later.  Some people are just city folks.

The Black Hole, Short-Film Review (Dir. Philip Sansom, Olly Williams)

Posted on by casewright

Gravity …..

No not that gravity. The gravity that makes you feel fat like Your Mom.

Specifically, black holes- A star is big – Really big. So, I’m tryin to get close the center of this star like everyone does with Your Mom. I’m getting closer to this star’s center, but it’s radius is REALLY big so I’m feelin some gravity, but when it collapses on itself and turns into a black hole- there’s serious gravity ahead. Before, the star was 2 million millions wide like Your Mom. Now, this star is just a few miles wide like Your Mom wishes she could be. So now, I can get WAAAAAY closer to the star’s center because the radius is tiny tiny tiny now. Therefore, this black hole will pull me harder than before like way harder just like Your Mom.

Before I was two million miles from the center because stars are what what scientists call BIG. Now, I can get right up on that star’s center like everyone does with Your Mom. As I get closer and closer to the center, I can’t get away because the pull is so strong like Your Mom’s grip. In fact, the light around me is curving and can’t get away. So, I will look like I’m frozen in a photograph like this Pearl Jam song:

This short film – poorly depicts a black hole, but it accurately depicts GREED. A man prints out a hole that is black, but not a Black Hole because we’d all be dead. He uses it to steal from his company by placing a hole that is black over the company’s safe with a tiny bit of tape. He takes out a bunch weird European looking monopoly currency, which checks as legit because Europeans are weird. Wanting to grab as much as he can, like everyone does with Your Mom, he climbs in the safe but the hole that is black falls off the safe, trapping him inside.

I tricked you into learning! HA!

Quick Review: The Last Stop at Yuma County (dir. by Francis Galluppi)

Posted on by Leonard Wilson

This review might be a bit biased, as I’m a fan of actor Jim Cummings’ work. I loved The Wolf of Snow Hollow and his brief cameo in Halloween Kills. The moment Francis Galluppi’s Last Stop at Yuma County was released on Apple Films, I bought it. Not even a rental. At 90 minutes, it’s a short crime thriller that fits in well with those late night gems you may come across.

On his way home to celebrate his daughter’s birthday, a Knife Salesman (Cummings) arrives at a gas station in Yuma County, Arizona, only to find that the station’s gas truck is a bit delayed. He decides to wait for the truck in the the gas station’s diner. Additionally, the news on the radio is going around about a recent heist of a nearby bank. Similar to movies such as Legion or Tales From the Crypt Presents : Demon Knight, the Diner makes a great setting for a standoff when the two robbers make an appearance – played by Richard Brake (Barbarian) and Nicolas Logan (I Care a Lot). Can the Knife Salesman and the local waitress, Charlotte (Jocelin Donahue, The House of the Devil) make it through the day and save themselves?

For his first production, Galluppi handled things well, I felt. The shots are evenly paced, well lit and framed in such a way where it doesn’t feel like the camera lingers too much or is too shaky. The strongest part of The Last Stop in Yuma County are the characters. Cummings, Brake, and Logan are the stand outs, but everyone contributes to the story in their way. The film dances between drama and comedy pretty quick, which had me chucking in moments before getting jolted back to reality with the ever changing situation.

If the movie has any kind of drawback, it’s that some of the story’s elements aren’t fully closed up by the time the film ends. It’s not a terrible thing, considering where the focus of the story moves, but a little more closure would have been nice. Outside of that, The Last Stop at Yuma County is worth the watch.

Scenes I Love: Lighting the Beacons in Return of the King

Posted on by Leonard Wilson

We just received word that the Texas Branch is still currently down. It’s been six full days without power. I can’t even begin to imagine the impact, but we’re hoping that they back up and running soon. Case and I are keeping the fires lit here, but it also reminds us of Lisa Marie’s John Wick levels of legendary speed, sheer will, creative output and literary fortitude. We miss the Bowmans, and are rooting for their quick return.

In the meantime, we’re sharing some of our favorite scenes and films. It seems fitting that the Lighting of the Beacons sequence of The Return of the King is our focus here. With the city of Gondor under attack, the steward Denathor (John Noble) doesn’t wish to call for any help. With Pippin’s (Billy Boyd) help, Gandalf (Ian McKellan) gets word out to Rohan in a most spectactular fashion. Howard Shore’s score amplifies the sequence to epic levels.

Enjoy!

The Elevator, Short-Film Review

Posted on by casewright

Two for Two!!!! Unreal! I haven’t found two great short-films in a row in like two years! It has a clear joke, no words, told in pictures, and is just well done!

This short is only 3 minutes, but you appreciated the angst! This random man, who is very thin, gets on an elevator with a max capacity of 2000lbs. The elevator rapidly gains passengers of the more expansive variety. As a formerly fat person, I felt for the guy because I remember when my body took up too much space – especially on airplanes. As I would approach my row and seat, I would see a look of fear and disappointment.

It’s hard to be fat, but it can be beaten! In this man’s case, he is rapidly calculating how many more pounds of humanity can enter the elevator before he plunges to his death!

This is a gem!

The Gunfighter, Short-Film Review, (Dir. Eric Kissack, Writer Kevin Tenglin)

Posted on by casewright

There are many times when I watch a short-film with FEAR because so many are just terrible. “The Gunfighter” is VERY funny and I put it in the MUST WATCH category. For my dedicated readers, you know that recommending a film as a Must Watch is a small club. The Gunfighter won a number of awards, however, very few of the actors or directors went on to a big career, which is a real shame. See, I can still pull depression from the jaws of happiness. I think I need a Rx.

The Gunfighter takes the Western and gives the characters the ability to hear the Narrator (Nick Offerman). This creates a lot of comedy because the narrator is determined to have everyone in the saloon kill each other. I know this is dark, but it is HILARIOUS! The narrator reveals who is having affairs with each other, who is having sex with a man’s favorite sheep, and a prostitute who was given a disease from a man who has sex with a man’s favorite sheep.

This is definitely a short-film to watch …. like right now!

The Life of Death, Short-Film Review (Dir. Marcin Dubinec)

Posted on by casewright

Death has been on my mind A LOT the past several months. I recently lost my Uncle and he was a lot closer to a Dad than what I was assigned. My uncle lived an authentic life and was OUT when it was not okay to be out, but in the words of the philosopher Bruce Springsteen- “Closets are for Hangers.” Sadly, he suffered a great deal, but he faced Death like a Man.

In this short, Death has a life- A really really really banal life. He acts out in school, gets drunk in college, marries, and gets run over by a car. Actually, how he died was the most interesting event that happened to Death.

I’m really trying to be nice here, but sometimes I just can’t. You might notice that I tagged Alex Magana; well, he makes terrible short films too and I feel like Alex should get a royalty when someone else spits out a crappy film. Apparently, Marcin won some awards for THIS??! So ugggghhh, I guess people like terrible things sometimes.

Where did the short go right? It had a beginning, middle, and an end. I can write that without a doubt that this was a film that was made. Also, this film had a script where words were written down. I can assume that real dollars were spent to make this…film, which is fine. I mean, well people can buy all sorts of things with cash. It should be noted that as a society we forbid people to spend money on certain things: murder, heroin, but maybe this could be considered to make that list…let’s not rule that out. He did murder my time and patience.

Where did it go wrong? It was boring. I really just did not care that Death had a boring life or that he had children. If anything, I thought it was tacky. I really didn’t find the writing really moving. I never cared about Death as a “Person”. I did Chuckle Out Loud COL once, but that’s it. You could say, Case, you’re down and grieving; of course, you’ll hate this, BUT I argue that this short-film is still crap and the filmmaker is not great and should do something else with his time. Decoupage? Extreme Couponing? Boxing? Whatever, just stop bothering us.

I once wrote that we could stop Alex Magana from making films – he can only be so strong and if we ganged up and brought a tall guy, we could taunt him by holding his camera up really high and make him futilely jump for it. There’s basically TWO Alex Magana’s now; so, we might have to bring more people into stopping them, but we can do this! Left, Right, Libertarian, or Vegetarian let’s stop them- TOGETHER!

43,000 Feet, Short Film Review by Case Wright (Dir. Campbell Hooper, Written by Matt Harris)

Posted on by casewright

It’s good to see you again. I’ve been away, but now I’m going to take you back in time. All the back to 2012. Yes, things kinda sucked then too, but not as much as for this protagonist especially because he is about to fall from a plane at 43,000 Feet. I have to give him credit- he died like a Man – calm, cool, and collected *tips hat.* May we all go out with such courage and dignity.

This short is hosted by Dust, a Youtube channel that focuses on Science Fiction, but I guess this counts because …. He talks about math? Whether this counts as Science Fiction or not (it does NOT), it is still a fun short film. John Wilkins (Dylan Pharazyn) calculated how long he has before his body impacts the earth from 43,000 feet. It appears that he calculated this before being blown out of the plane.

John contemplates how he should fall to lessen his impact on the head, what he should say to the press if he survives, and his encounter with a homeless person. What got to me was that at no point did he express fear. He stared down death and normally you would think of a STEM person being weaker or less manly, but his calculations calmed him. I have to write that math calms me down too. I know a number of people who had bad experiences with math, but math has an ability of calm because it forces order from chaos. There is no possibly of a sequel for this Man, but his ability to look at his impending death within the structure of mathematics spared him anguish because Math is order and can be the remedy for fear.

I absolutely recommend this film, especially if you want to give math a second chance.

Clooney and Pitt reunite for Jon Watts’ Wolfs trailer!

Posted on by Leonard Wilson

After a fantastic run with the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s Spider-Man trilogy, director Jon Watts shows no signs of slowing down. His next project, Wolfs, is one he wrote, produced and directed with a little assistance from Apple Films. The film reunites Oceans’ Eleven stars George Clooney and Brad Pitt as a pair of competing fixers that are forced to work together. It’s not too far removed from Michael Clayton for Clooney or Bullet Train for Pitt. The film also stars Amy Ryan (Hulu’s Only Murders in the Building) Austin Abhrams (HBO’s Euphoria) and Poorna Jagannathan (HBO’s The Night of).

Wolfs premieres this September in theatres.

Set sail with the Moana 2 trailer!

Posted on by Leonard Wilson

(New York and the other TSL branches are covering for the Texas Division until power is restored. We wish the the best and hope for a speedy recovery. Coincidentally, my little brother’s just West of Dallas Ft. Worth, and I haven’t heard from him yet. Stay strong out there!)

It looks like Moana (Auli’i Cravalho) and Maui (Dwayne Johnson) are back for another adventure. While we aren’t given too many details as to what this entails, one major change will be the lack of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s involvement, musically. Fear not, as both Abigail Barlow and Emily Bear (known as Barlow & Bear, of course) have taken on musical duties. We’ll see where this takes us.

Moana 2 is due in theatres this November.