Cold Open: Reunited and it feels so good….Reunited… Yep, El is back in the arms of Mike whom she’ll rip in half when she catches him cheating with some rando floozy in college. But for now,  Reunited and it feels so good….. Mike is all pissed at Hop and they end up hugging.  Awwww.  El meets Max and doesn’t shake her hand. Max is in a tough spot: on the one hand she has a psycho Carrie-esque whack job who wants to explode her and the other is a terrible trash household. Poor Max.  They believe El can close the gate, but there are 100s of Demagorgans in their way.

Cara Buono is taking a bubble bath and Ted is asleep downstairs.  Ted, you are sad…sad man.  Then, Mullet-Guy arrives and flirts with Cara Buono and I just had flashbacks to my High School years.  They weren’t all bad.

They are planning on taking El to close the gate.  They take E-Will to the cabin to burn the evil out of E-Will.  Later, Steve easily breaks up with Nancy.  Pretty Awesome!

Hop and El do some catching up and Hop explains that he feels like some kind of a black hole, sucking up everything and destroying it – I can relate.  They head into the distance to the Castle…. I mean government facility.  There’s a brief moment where Dustin gets Steve to put the Demagorgan into the fridge because I suppose they want to make stock later…. Pro Tip: Low and Slow with lots of sage!

Steve and the gang decide to head into the caves to enter the lab ….  Well, about Team Steve….. Mullet-Guy arrives and decides to beat up Lucas.  Then, he beats up Steve….A LOT, until Max puts a dart in his neck and Steve remains knocked out on the floor.  Poor Steve.

Joyce, Creeper, and Nancy arrive at the cabin and try to cook the monster out of E-Will.  He gets some black veins and tries to strangle his mom to stop the purification.

The Lab:  El and Hop arrive to do battle.   They find Reiser and he’s dying.  They go down further and arrive at the opening.  Hop goes in and shoots a bunch of Demagorgons.

Meanwhile: Steve leads the way down the caves.  There’s a bit of comic relief and they find the center of the caves and drench it in gasoline and torch it.

It’s all very smash cut!!!

The shadow leaves E-will and goes into the sky.

El and Hop go down into the bowels of the gate and face off against the Shadow Monster.

Dustin meets up with Dart again….Reunited and it feels so good….

El tries again to shut down the shadow monster’s gate, channeling her anger.  El digs deep and focuses her rage.  I would just think of the Seahawks v Patriots….Just give the ball to Marshawn for Pete’s SAKE!!!!!  El wins! We Win! The gate is closed and the shadow monster is dead. Woohoo!

The Lab is all locked up, shut down, and the government got embarrassed by the Bearded Creeper in the Bathrobe…yep that one.

Reiser got Hop a birth certificate for El.  The show ends with a prom of sorts and Creeper is videotaping.  I really hope no one looks on the other tapes. YIPE!

The prom is hopping.  Man, they must have quite the budget! Time After Time plays and Lucas and Max dance.  Dustin gets shot down….A LOT! It’s alright, Dustin. Nancy dances with him.  Hey Dustin, she has pretty low standards lately; you might have a shot.

The parents: Hop and Joyce hug quietly outside reminiscing and grieving the ones they lost.

El and Mike dance to The Police’s stalker song- I’ll be watching you.  Everyone gets kissed, except for Dustin.  The school spins upside down with the Shadow Monster looking down.  Maybe, it’s the Shadow Monster’s turn to be Nancy’s Boyfriend.

So, Gentle Readers….Thus concludes another Stranger Things season.  I’ll keep writing more in 2018 and not just in the fall. This has been a lot of fun and very cathartic for me.  Cheers and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! HAPPY HANUKKAH! And, I’ll even give a good year….this time.

Cold Open: We’re back in the evil lab and the monsters are coming up to attack. There are three of them and they are breaking through the glass.  It’s very reminiscent of the pilot, but that was good.  Hop and the other lab people are fleeing and getting eaten… a lot.

The monsters cut the power off in the building and Bob the Brain really needs to learn how to Swipe Left.

Max’s parents have arrive and see that Max is gone, whilst Mullet-Guy puts cologne on his junk.  I realize that Mullet-Guy’s dad went to my father’s school of parenting.

The boys are looking for …. something and are arguing. Steve hears something.  Team Steve!  He’s actually interesting this season.  They realize that the Demagorgon went back to the lab.

The evil lab – Reiser, Hop, Joyce and the rest are trapped in the lab and need to reset the computers to unlock the door.  Bob aims to sacrifice himself and reboot the computers with his knowledge of Basic.  Poor Bob.  Bob is down in the basement and it’s mildly entertaining.  He gets the power back on, but it’s still locked.  They are really trying to build some suspense…trying.

Paul Reiser tells them to go and he’ll stay behind and watch their exit.  Jeez, everyone is sacrificing themselves this episode; I wonder if I get to do something heroic in the finale?  Paul guides Bob, but a broom drops and the demagorgon gives chase.  Bob sees Joyce one last time, and then the monsters tear him apart as Joyce watches- helpless to save him.

They make it back to Joyce’s place and she’s a wreck.  They devise a plan to attack the hive mind leader.  My hope is that involves not renewing the show, but season 3 just got greenlit….so I’ll be doing this again.  They decide to put E-Will into a shed … as you do… because that will disorient him and leave E-Will to become susceptible to revealing the Shadow Monster’s weakness…for some reason.

They wake E-Will and has a conniption fit.  Joyce, Creeper, and Mike try to jog E-Will’s memory with a lot of boring stories so that his consciousness will emerge.  Then, they realize E-Will is using Morse Code.  It’s kinda cute and kinda boring- Coring TM.  A phone rings giving up their position.  BUMMER!!! The Demagorgons start to circle the party.  Then, one is thrown into the house …. dead. It’s El!! She’s back from the big city and all punked out.

This episode was like having a fling with an Ex.