(As some of you may have noticed, I shared this movie last year as well. I figured I might as well post it again this year. Plus, it’s Boris Karloff, Jack Nicholson, and Dick Miller! Why not post it again?)
Have you ever woken up and thought to yourself, “I’d love to see a movie where a youngish Jack Nicholson played a French soldier who, while searching for a mysterious woman, comes across a castle that’s inhabited by both Dick Miller and Boris Karloff?”
Of course you have! Who hasn’t?
Well, fortunately, it’s YouTube to the rescue. In Roger Corman’s 1963 film The Terror, Jack Nicholson is the least believable 19th century French soldier ever. However, it’s still interesting to watch him before he became a cinematic icon. (Judging from his performance here and in Cry Baby Killer, Jack was not a natural-born actor.) Boris Karloff is, as usual, great and familiar Corman actor Dick Miller gets a much larger role than usual. Pay attention to the actress playing the mysterious woman. That’s Sandra Knight who, at the time of filming, was married to Jack Nicholson.
Reportedly, The Terror was one of those films that Corman made because he still had the sets from his much more acclaimed film version of The Raven. The script was never finished, the story was made up as filming moved alone, and no less than five directors shot different parts of this 81 minute movie. Among the directors: Roger Corman, Jack Hill, Monte Hellman, Francis Ford Coppola, and even Jack Nicholson himself! Perhaps not surprisingly, the final film is a total mess but it does have some historical value.
(In typical Corman fashion, scenes from The Terror were later used in the 1968 film, Targets.)
“Oh my God!” I said as I looked at what was new on Netflix, “A Halloween movie starring the guy from Uncut Gems!? THIS IS GOING TO BE INTENSE!”
Of course, as I’m sure you already guessed, Hubie Halloween might as well be taking place in a totally different universe from Uncut Gems. Uncut Gems was an intense drama that starred Adam Sandler as a man so self-destructive that he literally seems to spend the entire movie just daring death to reach out and take him. Hubie Halloween, on the other hand, is fairly laid back comedy featuring Adam Sandler playing yet another well-meaning manchild. The film features supporting performances from all the usual Happy Madison suspects, like Kevin James, Rob Schneider, Steve Buscemi, Tim Meadows, Ben Stiller, Maya Rudolph, Keenan Thompson, and Colin Quinn. It’s sentimental and it’s about thirty minute too long and the humor is often juvenile but also frequently funny.
Adam Sandler plays Hubie, who lives in Salem, Massachusetts with his mother (June Squibb). Hubie is the town eccentric, the type of guy who thinks that he’s protecting the entire town but who mostly just gets on everyone’s nerves. A lot of people make fun of Hubie (who they call Pubie). Pete Landolfa (Ray Liotta) may be mourning the recent death of his father but he still finds time to toss Hubie into an open grave. Not even Father Dave (Michael Chiklis) has much sympathy for Hubie. Hubie is the type of guy who goes down to the local school to give a speech on Halloween safety, just for the students (and teachers) to respond by throwing all of their food at him.
One of the few people who is nice to Hubie is his new neighbor, Walter Lambert (Steve Buscemi). However, Hubie suspects that Walter might be a werewolf and when people start to disappear over the course of Halloween, Hubie suspects that Walter’s responsible. Meanwhile, the police (represented by a heavily bearded Kevin James) thinks that it might be Hubie, seeing as how everyone who has disappeared is also someone who has bullied him.
Then again, Richie Hartman (Rob Schneider) has just escaped from the local mental institution. Could he possibly have something to do with the mysterious happenings in Salem!?
When Adam Sandler won his Indie Spirit Award for Uncut Gems, he infamously announced that, if he didn’t get an Oscar nomination, he would get back at the Academy by making the worst film of all time. Well, Sandler was snubbed the Academy. (Though Sandler deserved that nomination — and probably nominations for The Meyerowtiz Stories, Funny People, and Punch-Drunk Love as well — it’s pretty obvious that the Academy is never going to nominate the star of That’s My Boy and Jack and Jill.) However, Hubie Halloween is certainly not the worst film ever made. It’s actually a rather likable and sweet-natured comedy, one in which the humor is definitely juvenile but, in contrast to some of the other Happy Madison comedies, never really mean-spirited. In many ways, it’s a perfect Netflix film. It’s good enough to keep you entertained while, at the same time, you don’t necessarily have to really pay attention to every minute of the film to get it. It’s the epitome of the type of film that you can watch while doing something else.
One of the main complaints that’s always lodged against Sandler is that he primarily just makes movies so that he can hang out with his friends and get paid for it. There’s a certain amount of truth to that statement and that, more than anything, explains why Sandler’s filmography tends to be so frustratingly uneven. The cast of Hubie Halloween looks like they had a lot of fun making it. Fortunately, in this case, that sense of fun actually translates onto the screen. Steve Buscemi, June Squibb, and particularly Ray Liotta all seem to be having a ball getting to parody their own dramatic images.
Admittedly, Hubie Halloween is not a film that sticks with you. It won’t make you laugh as much as Happy Gilmore and it won’t leave you stunned like Uncut Gems. But, for what it is, it’s just likable enough to be entertaining.
Warlock-turned attorney-turned-police consultant Will Spanner is back for the 11th Witchcraft film. This time he’s played by James Servais. Working again with Lutz (Stephanie Beaton) and Garner (Mikul Robins) of the LAPD, Will is investigating yet another attempt to perform a ceremony that will bring Satan back to Earth. Why is every Satanic ceremony so elaborate that it always gives Will, Lutz, and Garner time to investigate and disrupt it? That seems short-sighted on Satan’s part.
This time, the head Satanist is a drama professor who is putting on a production of MacBeth and who convinces the three actresses playing the witches to really get into their roles by performing a “fake” magic ritual. Unfortunately, the ritual is real and the actresses are possessed by the spirits of three actual witches. Because they have to find a stone that will help to bring a demon into the world who will then bring Satan into the world as well (See what I mean about foolishly complex rituals?), the three actresses are soon going on a sex-fueled murder rampage across campus. One of the possessed actresses is also the sister of Will’s long-suffering girlfriend and now-fiancée, Kelly (Wendy Blair). That makes it even more important than usual that Will prevent Satan from coming into the world.
As easy as it is to make fun of the Witchcraft films for their grade-Z production values and the often less than impressive performances of the actors involved, it’s hard not to appreciate their loyalty to the idea behind the entire franchise. With only a few exceptions, every film has dealt with Will coming to terms with being a warlock. Even though the actors change frequently, just the fact that nearly every Witchcraft installment features the same characters does a lot to distinguish Witchcraft from other direct- to-video horror franchises. Will and Kelly finally getting engaged would probably be more meaningful if they had been consistently been played the same actors over the last several films (and if Witchcraft XI spelled Kelli’s name correctly) but it still rewarded the viewers who had stuck with the franchise up to its eleventh installment. (Unfortunately, this movie would also be Kelly’s final appearance in the series. The character is never mentioned in any of the films following this one.)
Otherwise, Witchcraft XI features some of the worst acting in the series up to this point and the plot is incoherent even by Witchcraft standards. Supposedly, this was one of the most financially successful of all the Witchcraft movies, probably because of three possessed and often topless co-eds. Will Spanner would return, though unfortunately without Lutz, Garner, or Kelly, in Witchcraft XII.
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.
Today is the 138th anniversary of the birth of Bela Lugosi! In honor of his legacy, here are….
4 Shots From 4 Films
Dracula (1931, directed by Tod Browning)
White Zombie (1932, directed by Vincent Halperin)
Island of Lost Souls (1932, directed by Erle C. Kenton)
Bride of the Monster (1955, dir by Edward D. Wood, Jr.)
For today’s horror on the lens, we have a 1975 made-for-television movie called The Dead Don’t Die!
The Dead Don’t Die takes place in Chicago during the 1930s. George Hamilton is a sailor who comes home just in time to witness his brother being executed for a crime that he swears he didn’t commit. Hamilton is convinced that his brother was innocent so he decides to launch an investigation of his own. This eventually leads to Hamilton not only being attacked by dead people but also discovering a plot involving a mysterious voodoo priest!
Featuring atmospheric direction for Curtis Harrington and a witty script by Robert Bloch, The Dead Don’t Die is an enjoyable horror mystery. Along with George Hamilton, the cast includes such luminaries of “old” Hollywood as Ray Milland, Ralph Meeker, Reggie Nalder, and Joan Blondell. (Admittedly, George Hamilton is not the most convincing sailor to ever appear in a movie but even his miscasting seems to work in a strange way.)
In the tenth entry in the ludicrously long-running Witchcraft series, conflicted warlock Will Spanner does not appear. Fortunately, it’s not because he’s dead again. Instead, it’s just because Will lives in New York and Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft takes place in London.
Instead, Witchcraft X focuses on Detective Lucy Lutz (Stephanie Beaton, returning to the role after playing it in the previous film). Focusing on Detective Lutz actually makes sense, just because Stephanie Beaton was one of the better actresses to regularly appear in direct-to-video horror movies and she was also probably the main reason why many people were watching the Witchcraft films to begin with. It certainly wasn’t for the special effects or the plots.
In this film, Detective Lutz has been summoned to London because a cult leader named Hyde (Kerry Knowlton) has been arrested by Interpol. Hyde is wanted for a series of murders in Los Angeles and the London police cannot wait to send him back to the United States where he’ll be executed for sure. (Jokes on them. California has one of the slowest death rows in the country.) But before Hyde can be sent back to L.A., they need to fly Lutz over so she can brief them on Hyde’s crimes. I guess email was still a luxury in 1998.
No sooner has Lutz arrived than a vampire named Raven (Eileen Daly) is breaking Hyde out of custody so that Hyde can help her conduct one of those occult ceremonies that every single Witchcraft film seems to revolve around. Raven has an army of frequently naked female vampires to help her out. Lutz only has Interpol agent Chris Dixon (Sean Harry) and paranormal expert Celeste (Wendy Cooper) to help her out.
I liked that this movie tried to do something different with the franchise without totally abandoning the characters. Even though neither Will nor Garner appears in Witchcraft X, they’re mentioned by Lutz so it’s not like Witchcraft VIIIwhere Will’s existence was totally ignored. Detective Lutz is a good heroine and Stephanie Beaton is an appealing actress. I also liked that the film took place in London and that, like Witchcraft VII, it involved vampires instead of the usual shady warlocks. The dialogue is really clunky, none of the other actors are as good as Beaton, and the film looks like it was shot with a camcorder and then edited by someone using a VCR but that’s pretty much par for course for a Witchcraft film.
It’s easy to imagine the Witchcraft series going forward with just Detective Lutz as the lead character. That didn’t happen, though. Will Spanner would return for Witchcraft XI.
Since today is Tor Johnson’s birthday, I wanted to share a scene from Plan 9 From Outer Space or Bride of the Monster or even the Beast of Yucca Flats.
Unfortunately, YouTube would not cooperate. I found a lot of tribute videos that people had done. I found several videos of Tor playing Lobo with silly music playing in the background. There were a lot of weird Tor/Bela tribute videos. (Apparently, there’s a very active community of Lobo/Varnoff shippers, which was not something that I really needed to know.) Anyway, try as I did, I couldn’t find any decent videos of just Tor walking into a wall or rising from the dead of reaching for the bunny in Beast of Yucca Flats.
However, I did find this clip from a film in which Tor Johnson appeared in 1948. Apparently, Behind Locked Doors was noir about a detective who goes undercover at a sanitarium. One of the other patients at the sanitarium? TOR JOHNSON!
So, enjoy this chance to see Tor Johnson in a scene not directed by Ed Wood or Coleman Francis. (The scene was directed by Budd Boetticher, who has a far different critical reputation that both Misters Wood and Francis.)
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.
Today is Tor Johnson’s birthday so it just seems appropriate to present….
4 Shots From 4 Tor Johnson Films
Bride of The Monster (1955, dir by Ed Wood)
Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959, dir by Ed Wood)
Night of the Ghouls (1960, dir by Ed Wood)
The Beast from Yucca Flats (1961, dir by Coleman Francis)
The poster above pretty much epitomizes everything that I love about old B-movies. Between the aliens and the poster’s promise that we’re being given the chance to “SEE (the) night the world nearly ended…!,” it’s hard to resist the temptation to give Invasion of the Saucer Men a chance.
First released in 1957, Invasion of the Saucer Men is, in many ways, a standard alien invasion film. Aliens land in a small town and cause a lot of inconvenience for a bunch of all-American teenagers who are just looking for a place to make out. What sets Invasion of the Saucer Men apart is that it’s meant to intentionally humorous and the aliens totally kick ass.
So, here is today’s edition of Horror On The Lens: Invasion of the Saucer Men!
Through the Shattered Lens