Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.4 “Qui Transtulit Sustinet”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week. Dr. Craig finally gets to perform his first heart transplant.

Episode 2.4 “Qui Transtulit Sustinet”

(Dir by Victor Lobl, originally aired on November 16th, 1983)

It’s a busy day at St. Eligius.

While Morrison struggles to come to terms with the death of his wife, her heart is transplanted into Eve Leighton.  Morrison tells Westphall that he wants to keep working at the hospital and that he doesn’t need any time off.  Westphall tells Morrison that he’s too distraught to be trusted with patients and that he has to take some time off.  Westphall actually has a point, even if he does come across as being a bit cold when talking to Morrison.  Even Peter White, that drug-addicted sleazebag, tells Morrison that he’s needs to take some time.  Seriously, I think this is the first time that Dr. White’s been correct about anything since this show began.

Dr. Craig finally gets to perform a heart transplant but afterwards,  in a wonderfully-acted scene, he tells Westphall that he feels a bit let down.  After all the anticipation and the preparation, Craig isn’t sure what to do now that he’s actually performed the surgery.  For once, he doesn’t want to talk to the press, regardless of how much the city of Boston expects him to.  It’s a nicely human moment, one that we don’t often get from Dr. Craig.

Nurse Rosenthal attempted to console another breast cancer patient and met with Mark Harmon’s Dr. Caldwell to discuss getting breast reconstruction surgery.  Nurse Rosenthal’s breast cancer storyline has consistently been well-acted and well-written and it has also been consistently difficult for me, as someone who lost her mother to cancer, to watch and write about.  That was certainly the case for me with this episode.

Meanwhile, Fiscus and Luther pool their money to make an investment in silver but, at the last minute, Fiscus pulls out of their investment.  His nerves get the better of him.  Luther makes a lot of money.  Fiscus doesn’t.  Hey, guys — Morrison’s wife is dead.  Show some respect and save the comedy for another episode.

This was an intense episode but it ended on a beautiful note, with Dr. Morrison listening to the sound of his wife’s heart beating in someone else’s body.  A beautiful note but also a very sad one.  I’m worried about Jack Morrison.  I’m worried about the recipient of the heart.  I’m worried about Helen Rosenthal.  I’m worried about the entire hospital!

Here’s hoping for happier days ahead.

 

Scenes That I Love: Freddie and Dodd’s Final Meeting From Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master


Today’s scene that I love comes from 2012’s The Master, written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson (who celebrated his birthday yesterday).

Philip Seymour Hoffman and Joaquin Phoenix were never better than they were in Anderson’s enigmatic story of two very different men who become unlikely friends.  Phoenix plays Freddie Quill, a World War II veteran who has never figured out how to adjust to life during peacetime.  Hoffman plays Lancaster Dodd, a writer who claims to have all the answers but who is actually a charlatan.  In this scene, Freddie and Dodd meet for one last time and, though they are both characters about who most viewers will have mixed feelings, there’s something undeniably poignant about their final moments together.  Both of them realize that the time they had is over.  And indeed, watching this scene today is all the more difficult because it reminds us of what a talent we lost when we lost Philip Seymour Hoffman.

From Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master:

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Paul Thomas Anderson Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.

Yesterday was the birthday of one of our greatest filmmakers, Paul Thomas Anderson!  It’s never too late for….

4 Shots From 4 Paul Thomas Anderson Films

Boogie Nights (1997, dir by Paul Thomas Anderson, DP: Robert Elswit)

The Will Be Blood (2007, dir by Paul Thomas Anderson, DP: Robert Elswit)

The Master (2012, dir by Paul Thomas Anderson, DP: Mihai Mălaimare Jr.)

Phantom Thread (2017, dir by Paul Thomas Anderson)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.2 “Man’s Best Friend, Part 2”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, the fourth season premiere concludes.

Episode 4.2 “Man’s Best Friend Part 2”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on September 23rd, 1987)

Picking up where last week’s episode, this episode opens with Alex (Danny Pintauro) visiting Jake the Siberian Husky at the big home that Jake shares with Jenny (Elisabeth Harnois), her grandfather (William Schallert), and her parents, Paul (Stan Ivar) and Michelle Raines (Laurie Walters).

Yay!

Alex’s attitude improves so much that it’s decided to move him into a foster home.

Uhmm….what about the Raines family?

The surrogate hired to carry Paul and Michelle’s baby loses the baby.  Paul and Michelle are heartbroken.

Uhmm….hey, I think Alex needs a family….

Jenny gives Jake to Alex.

Awwww!

Alex’s foster family lives in a building that doesn’t allow pets.

Oh no!

Alex and Jake run away and, after nearly dying in the desert, they end up with the Raines family’s home.

I see where this is going….

If you guessed that Paul and Michelle announce that they’re going to adopt Alex and that Jake is going to continue to live with them on the ranch, congratulations!  You could have been a Highway to Heaven writer!

This episode didn’t make me cry as much as last week’s, mostly because it was pretty easy to see where things were heading from the beginning.  Even when Alex and Jake were lost in the desert, I knew they would be okay because this is Highway to Heaven.  Children and their adorable dogs don’t die on this show. (Except, of course, for those two times that they did.  Actually, three times, now that I think about it.)    That said, I was still relieved when Jake was rescued because seriously, that dog was adorable!

This was a good conclusion to last week’s episode.  Everything worked out for the best.  At the end of the episode, Mark said that he understood why “they call them man’s best friend.”  Michael nodded and then said, a little sadly, “Shouldn’t man’s best friend be …. man?”

You tell ’em, Hippie Angel!

You tell them.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 2.16 “Movin’ On Out”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

This week, guess who is the worst?

Episode 2.16 “Movin’ On Out’

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on February 19th, 2000)

This episode revisits a familiar theme.  Lisa — this is, the show’s Lisa as opposed to your intrepid, red-headed reviewer — is the absolute worse.  This week, Lisa is annoyed with Traycee because Traycee doesn’t always give Lisa her messages and Traycee sent the plumber home before he could fix the sink.  (Traycee thought Lisa was trying to set her up on a date with the plumber.)  Lisa says, “I can’t live like this” and proceeds to write up a long list of rules that Traycee will have to follow if she wants to continue living in the apartment.

(If I remember correctly, Traycee’s name is on the lease so how exactly Lisa is going to kick her out, I have no idea.)

It’s a really long list.  Traycee decides to move in with the Collins brothers.  The Collins brothers are excited because Traycee is planning on throwing a lingerie party with all of her friend.  (Jason and Scott assume they’ll be invited.)  Lisa tell Jason and Scott that they will regret letting Traycee move in but actually, Jason and Scott love living with her.

Meanwhile, Lisa gets a new roommate, who turns out to be a psychotic wrestling fan.  And really, that’s where this episode should have ended.  Lisa spent this episode acting like a spoiled snob, going so far as to tell other people — like the Collins brothers — not to let Traycee live with them.  Hey, Lisa — IT WAS TRAYCEE’S APARTMENT IN THE FIRST GODDAMN PLACE!  And didn’t we already do this stupid story at the start of the season?  Yes, we did!  This episode should have ended with Lisa realizing her new roommate was crazy.  Instead, it ended with Lisa giving Traycee a not terribly convincing apology.

Anyway, Traycee does move back in with Lisa.  She was tired of the Collins boys always wanting her to throw another party.  Lisa kicks out her new roommate.  Has Lisa ever considered that she might be impossible to live with?

Fortunately, the B-plot was kind of cute.  After witnessing him saving the life of a sea lion, Alex develops a crush on Murray.  Murray likes Alex but he worries she’s too beautiful to ever stick with a guy like him.  Jason advices Murray to act like an obnoxious jackass because women love that.  (Excuse me while I dramatically roll my eyes.)  Murray takes Jason’s advice, even though Jason hasn’t had a girlfriend since Stads abandoned him for Europe.

(Seriously, Stads dumped Jason for a continent.  Ha ha, sucks to be you, Jason.)

This B-plot may have been dumb but you know what?  Brandon Brooks was adorable as the emotionally vulnerable Murray.  Brooks is often the only reason to watch this show.  He manages to play the goofy best friend without turning the character into a Screech-style caricature and that makes him unique amongst the goofy best friends who populated the sitcoms that Peter Engel produced in the 90s and early aughts.  When I watched the pilot, I never would have guessed that Murray would eventually become my favorite character but that is what has happened.  On a show where everyone else is either self-absorbed, bitchy, or just a jackass, Murray’s good vibes are often Malibu CA’s saving grace.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.22 “Hostile Takeover”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters takes a look at what is required to get ahead in the cut-throat world of corporate finance.

Episode 3.22 “Hostile Takeover”

(Dir by Randall Moldave, originally aired on February 24th, 1991)

Ruthless but not particularly intelligent corporate executive Laurence Bauer (Dennis Christopher) thinks that he has figured out the perfect way to take over the business from CEO Tom Hart (William Lanteau).  He teams up with a voodoo priestess named Matilde (Pam Grier) and, with her help, he manages to force Hart out.  However, Matilde explains that all of this comes with a price.  The Voodoo Gods want a piece of Bauer’s body.  Bauer responds by killing Matilde.

In his office, getting faxes from the Voodoo Gods and dealing with taunting messages on his computer screen, Bauer decides to sacrifice the janitor, Ed (Tracey Walter).  However, Ed turns out to be not just any old janitor.  He’s a demon who reacts to Bauer’s condescension by plucking out his right eye.

“You’re my boy now!” Ed shouts.

Agck!  Scary!

This was a good episode.  Christopher, Walter, and Grier all gave memorable performances and the demon effects were genuinely disturbing.  The final season of Monsters wasn’t perfect.  I’ve reviewed more than a few bad episodes from season 3.  That said, it was still a marked improvement over the first two seasons, as demonstrated by episodes like this one.  The whole point of the show was to show off the Monsters and this episode featured a truly effective one.

Two more episodes to go and then a new show will be premiering in this time slot!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.4 “The Same Wavelength/Winning Isn’t Everything/A Honeymoon for Horace”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

Episode 6.4 “The Same Wavelength/Winning Isn’t Everything/A Honeymoon for Horace”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on October 23rd, 1982)

Yeesh!  This episode!  Because I’m on vacation, I’m going to lay out the facts quickly and simply.

  • Julie’s hair still looks awful.  Seriously, she looks like she should be playing the demanding gymnastics coach in a Peter Engel-produced high school sitcom.
  • Horace (Jack Gilford) and Twinkie (Nancy Walker) board the boat.  They’re in their 80s and they’re newlyweds!  Awwwww!  Horace is nervous about his honeymoon because it’s been forever since he’s kissed a woman so he asks Julie if he can practice on her.  Julie, her eyes oddly glazed over, agrees.
  • Twinkie, who loves to party, tells Julie that she’s actually been married to Horace for 30 years and he just said that he was a newlywed to trick Julie into kissing him.
  • Later, when confronted by Doc and Julie, Horace and Twinkie confess that they’re not actually married.  However, they are brother and sister.  WHAT!?
  • Turns out that Twinkie “likes to party” and Horace “likes to kiss pretty girls” so they lied so that they could do both.
  • Horace, you’re going to jail!  Oh wait, no, he’s not.  The Love Boat crew has a good laugh over it and Julie, to be honest, seemed to be pretty coked up in this episode so perhaps she had a good reason for wanting to avoid dealing with the cops.  Okay, Julie, do what you have to do, I guess.
  • Meanwhile, psychic Tess Macgill (Connie Stevens) falls in love with passenger Mike Gordon (Charles Seibert).  Unfortunately, Mike is still in love with his wife, despite the fact that they’re now separated.  It’s a good thing that there’s a psychic on board to let Mike know that his marriage is over.
  • Finally, Jack Bronson (David Doyle) boards the boat with his teenage son, Chip (Matthew Labyorteaux).  Jack is an old friend of Captain Stubing’s and he’s convinced that winning is everything!  As for Stubing, he’s just happy that Vicki will finally have someone her own age to spend some time with.  I’m happy too.  Seriously, Vicki hardly ever gets to talk to anyone under the age of 50.
  • Jack is convinced that Chip is a world-class athlete but that’s just because Chip has been lying to his father.
  • Vicki is great a table tennis.  Jack pressures Chip to play her.  Chip fakes a wrist injury to get out of it.
  • Eventually, Chip tells his father the truth and Jack realizes that he’s been pushing his son way too much.  That’s not a bad lesson but David Doyle is miscast as a competition-obsessed father.  He comes across as being too nice.  Jack is a role for Bo Svenson.

This episode …. bleh.  The psychic story was bland and the story with the elderly siblings was creepy.  The Jack and Chip story was, at least, tolerable.  Julie’s terrible new haircut continues to annoy me.  This was not the best cruise in the history of The Love Boat.

Scenes That I Love: Howard Beale says “We’re In A Lot Of Trouble” in Network


Everyone remembers the “Mad as Hell Speech” from Sidney Lumet’s 1976 satire, Network.

Personally, I think this scene below is just as good.  Replace “tube” with TikTok and AI and you’ll have a pretty good explanation for why the world today is full of so many ignorant people who think they know more than they do.

(Usually, heavy-handed scenes annoy me.  Fortunately, much like David Fincher with Aaron Sorkin’s script for The Social Network, Sidney Lumet knew the right directorial tone to take when translating Paddy Chayefsky’s script to the screen.  One shudders to think of what Network would have been like with a less skilled director behind the camera.)

 

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Sidney Lumet Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, we celebrate the anniversary of the birth of director Sidney Lumet, born 101 years ago on this date.  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Sidney Lumet Films

Long Day’s Journey Into Night (1962, dir by Sidney Lumet, DP: Boris Kaufman)

Dog Day Afternoon (1975, dir by Sidney Lumet, DP: Victor J. Kemper)

Network (1976, dir. Sidney Lumet, DP: Owen Roizman)

The Verdict (1981, dir by Sidney Lumet, DP: Andrzej Bartkowiak)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.8 “Undercover”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Chris goes undercover.

Episode 2.8 “Undercover”

(Dir by Terrence H. Winkless, originally aired on October 13th, 1996)

A smarmy detective wants Chris to go undercover to help investigate a suspected money launderer, Tim Wakefield (Scott Plank).  Palermo argues that Chris doesn’t have enough experience to work undercover but the detective asks Chris, “What do you want to do?  You ready to get out of those bicycle shorts and do some real police work?”

I have to admit that line cracked me up.  It really made the whole episode.  Palermo got offended, as he always does whenever anyone points out that bike cops look silly with their shorts and their crisp white shirts.  What was great about the line was that it was true.  The detective may have been smarmy but he was right about Chris being invited to do “real police work” and he was right about bike cops not being real policemen.  Everyone know it’s true!  Seriously, if a bicycle cop ever tries to pull you over, just slam down on the accelerator.  What are they going to do?  Chase you when you’re going over 30 mph?  I think not!

(Seriously, two seasons in and the show is still trying to convince us that bike cops are real cops.  Sorry, Palermo, it’s not going to happen!)

That said, this episode’s main plot still ended up falling flat because Chris is not a very interesting character and her whole undercover thing wasn’t particularly credible.  When she went undercover, she still came across as being just as stiff, humorless, and unlikable as when she’s riding her bike and threatening people with arrest.  Tim Wakefield, of course, fell for her and Chris was supposed to be attracted to him and conflicted about her assignment and I never bought it for a second.

(As for Wakefield, he turned out to be not as bad of a guy as everyone assumed.  He was arrested but his lawyer got him off and the episode ended with him sending Chris a postcard from some tropical beach.  I think Chris was supposed to be wistful as she looked at the postcard but, since Darlene Vogel was apparently only capable of one facial expression, who knows for sure?)

Meanwhile, Cory dealt with being stalked by a mentally unstable ex-boyfriend,  Wasn’t it just last week that Cory’s partner was being stalked by a mentally unstable woman?  This show certainly does enjoy repeating itself.  While Palermo worried about Chris, TC and Victor chased some roller-blading teens who were shooting random tourists with paintballs.  The roller-blading scenes were kind of exciting but, unfortunately, they had to share space with all of the awkward bicycle scenes.

This episode had its moments.  The roller-blading was cool.  The detective making fun of Palermo was gratifying.  Overall, though, the fact that the show centers around bicycles continues to be a flaw that simply cannot be overcome.  There’s simply no way to make anyone riding a bicycle look impressive, I don’t care how serious they try to look.

Sorry, Pacific Blue.