International Horror Film Review: Escape From The Bronx (dir by Enzo G. Castellari)

Posted on October 16, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Slo Mo of Doom!

All bad action films tend to feature it. (Actually, it shows up in some good action films as well.) Whenever a group of soldiers step on a mine and slowly flip through the air as a result of the subsequent explosion, that’s the Slo Mo of Doom. Whenever an important supporting character is shot and the film suddenly slows down so that each frame of their collapse is their highlighted, that’s the Slo Mo of Doom. Sometimes, it’s a way of saying, “Hey, you should care more about this violent death than you care about all of the other violent deaths in this movie.” Sometimes, it’s a way of showing off the fact that the producers could afford stunt people, even if they couldn’t afford anything else. Other times, it’s just a way to pad out the running time so that a movie can at least reach the 90 minute mark before the end credits roll. Regardless of the reason why it’s deployed, Slo Mo of Doom is usually a good sign that you’re watching a cheesy action film.

Last night, when I watched the 1983 Italian film, Escape from the Bronx, with a group of friends, we counted at least six instances of the Slo Mo of Doom. There may have been even more, it’s hard to say. Along with frequent slow motion, Escape from the Bronx features a lot of flame throwers, several corporate bad guys, and an abundance of graffiti. It also featured Henry Silva as a villain named Floyd Wangler and Antonio Sabato, Sr. as a flamboyant rebel leader who dressed like he was appearing in an Off Broadway adaptation of The Fantasticks. In short, it was a classic of its kind.

Escape From The Bronx takes place in, what was then, the future. (To be specific, the story is said to take place in the year 2000.) The Bronx has become such an eyesore that an evil corporation wants to blow up all the buildings and rebuild. Unfortunately, the residents of the Bronx know how difficult it is to find an apartment in New York City and they don’t want to move. In order to change their minds, Floyd Wangler and his army of jackbooted, flame thrower-wielding bad guys invade the Bronx. “Leave the Bronx!” they announce. “It is time to leave the Bronx.” And, to be honest, the Bronx looks like a terrible place to live so maybe they have a point.

A motorcycle-riding bad boy named Trash (played by Mark Gregory) doesn’t want to leave the Bronx so he goes underground. While the buildings are being blown up and people are being set on fire, Trash teams up with Doblon (Antonio Sabato, Sr.) and his gang of flashy rebels. Working with a mercenary named Strike (Giancarlo Prete) and journalist named Moon Gray (Valeria D’Obici), Trash plots to kidnap the president of the corporation. Of course, by doing so, Trash might be doing exactly what Floyd wants him to do.

Both John Carpenter’s Escape from New York and George Miller’s Mad Max films were very popular in Europe and Escape From The Bronx was one of the many Italian films to imagine New York (or, in this case, one unfortunate borough of New York) as being some sort of a post-apocalyptic wasteland. (In fact, Escape From The Bronx was a sequel to another film called The Bronx Warriors. The adventures of Trash could not be contained to just one film.) One could argue that Escape From The Bronx was an early warning against the horrors of gentrification, with the poor being set on fire so that the rich can blow up their homes and make even more money. Personally, I thought the film was much more about the struggle of the Italian film industry to come to terms with the legacy of Mussolini. Floyd Wangler may have had a silly name but, as played by Henry Silva, he was the chilling epitome of the authoritarian impulse come to life. With his black uniform and his steely gaze, it was easy to imagine Floyd as one of the fascists who marched on Rome in 1922. There’s a definite political subtext to Escape from the Bronx, one that can easily get overshadowed by the prominent use of the Slo Mo of Doom.

That’s not to say that Escape from the Bronx is a particularly good film, of course. There’s a few decent action scenes but the middle part of the film drags and Mark Gregory doesn’t have much screen presence. Henry Silva is better-cast as the bad guy but it’s hard to take a villain named Floyd seriously. That said, Escape from the Bronx is an entertaining film to watch with a group of friends. This is a film that invites you to talk back to the screen and, with all of its costumed rebels, it’s actually a good film for October. Whatever its flaws, I defy anyone to watch this film without getting “Leave the Bronx” stuck in their head.

And, if nothing else, you can always have fun counting all of the Slo Mo of Doom.

Insomnia File #49: Mystery Date (dir by Jonathan Wacks)

Posted on October 16, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or Netflix? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

If you were having trouble getting to sleep last night, around one in the morning, you could have turned over to the HBO Family channel and watched the 1991 comedy, Mystery Date!

A young and extremely adorable Ethan Hawke plays Tom McHugh, a college student who is in love with Geena (Teri Polo), the housesitter next door. The only problem is that Tom is extremely shy and can’t even work up the nerve to ask Genna out. It sure would help if he was rich and charming like his older brother, Craig (Brian McNamara). Eventually, Craig helps his brother out. He gives Tom his credit card and his car so that Tom can take Geena out on a date. What an nice brother! Soon, Tom and Geena are hitting the town and having a great time. They even see Gwar perform which …. well, okay. That probably would not be my ideal first date but whatever.

Unfortunately, it turns out that Craig has gotten involved with some pretty bad things and, as a result, there are two dead bodies in the trunk of the car! Uh-oh, that could be awkward. Plus, the Chinese mafia (led by B.D. Wong) are determined to kill Tom because they think that he’s Craig. And finally, to top it all off, Tom has got a crazed flower delivery guy (played by Fisher Stevens) following him all over the city. Can Tom possibly survive the night and still get a second date!?

Mystery Date starts out nicely. Ethan Hawke is cute in a non-threatening sort of way. Teri Polo is likable. They seem like they would make a cute couple. You want things to work out for them. Unfortunately, once the date actually starts, the film gets frantic without getting any funnier. It becomes a case of the film just trying too hard and you feel as if the film is demanding that you laugh as opposed to offering up a reason to laugh. You watch the film and you don’t so much think about what you’re watching as you think about films like Risky Business and Better Off Dead, both of which told similar stories with a lot more energy and imagination. You have to kind of imagine that whenever Ethan Hawke gives one of his interviews where he talks about why he’s not interested in doing typical mainstream films, this is probably the type of movie that he was talking about. Among the many other things for which we have to thank Richard Linklater, he ensured that Ethan Hawke would never have to star in Mystery Date 2.

Previous Insomnia Files:

Horror Film Review: The Devil’s Rain (dir by Robert Fuest)

Posted on October 16, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Was I the only one who was relieved that William Shatner didn’t die this week?

Seriously, when I heard that the 90 year-old Shatner was going to be taking a trip on one of the Amazon rockets, I was really worried. First off, you’re taking a 90 year-old into space. Secondly, you’re doing it with a rocket that people don’t really know that much about. And third, that 90 year-old is a cultural icon and one who probably played no small role in causing people like Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk to become obsessed with conquering space in the first place. With the exception of George Takei, everyone loves William Shatner. (And, at this point, Takei’s constant sniping about Shatner is coming across as being just a little bit petty. Move on, George! People love you, too.)

As I watched Shatner land back on Earth, I found myself thinking about The Devil’s Rain, a film from 1975 that starred William Shatner as a man whose exploration of the unknown led to a far less triumphant result.

In this film, Shatner plays Mark Preston, a youngish man who lives on ranch with his father (George Sawaya) and his mother (Ida Lupino). For some reason, the Preston family owns a book that is full of evil magic. Satanic high priest Jonathan Corbis (Ernest Borgnine) wants the book and when the Prestons refuse to hand it over, he makes it his mission to destroy them. He gets things started by turning Mark’s father into a weird, waxy zombie who melts in the rain. Not wanting the same fate to befall the rest of the family, Mark grabs the book and heads to a desert ghost town that has been taken over by Corbis and his followers. Mark never returns.

Mark’s older brother, Tom (Tom Skerritt) then shows up in town, searching for Mark. Accompanying him are his wife (Joan Prather) and a paranormal researcher (Eddie Albert). Tom discovers that Corbis is transforming his followers into zombies who have no memories and who exist only to …. well, I’m not sure what the point of it all is but I guess it basically comes down to Corbis needing something evil to do. Not only has Mark become one of his Corbis’s followers but, if you keep an eye out, you might spot a very young John Travolta in the background. This was Travolta’s film debut. According to the end credits, the character he plays is named Danny. Danny Zuko, perhaps? That would serve him right for making Sandy doubt herself.

The Devil’s Rain is one of the many low-budget movies that William Shatner did between the end of the Star Trek TV show and the start of the Star Trek movies. It’s a bit of an disjointed film, as I think any film starring William Shatner and Tom Skerritt as brothers would have to be. Skerritt gives a very laconic performance, playing his character as if he was the star of a Western. Shatner, meanwhile, does that thing where he randomly emphasizes his words and gets the full drama out of every sentence and facial expression. But, as much as Shatner overacts, you can’t help but enjoy his performance because he’s William Shatner and that’s what he does. The same is true of Ernest Borgnine, who overacts in his role just as much as you would expect Ernest Borgnine to overact when cast as an evil cult leader. For that matter, Eddie Albert isn’t exactly subtle as the paranormal researcher. Don’t even get me started on Keenan Wynn, playing yet another small town sheriff. Let’s just say that, with the exception of Tom Skerritt, the cast of The Devil’s Rain is not necessarily full of actors noted for their restraint. That said, there’s something rather charming about everyone’s attempts to steal every scene in which they appear.

The Devil’s Rain is a deeply silly film but that doesn’t make any sense but it’s hard not to get caught up in it. Even if the fact that this film is perhaps your only opportunity to see John Travolta melt on screen isn’t enough to make you watch, Shatner vs. Borgnine with Skerritt approaching in the distance is just too entertaining to resist! Thankfully, Shatner survived appearing in this film and revitalized his career through a combination of Star Trek movies and Canadian tax shelter flicks. He’s a survivor. In fact, I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that, even at the age of 90, Shatner has no trouble going into space. William Shatner’s going to be around forever.

Horror on the Lens: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (dir by John S. Robertson)

Posted on October 16, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Ever since the birth of film, Robert Louis Stevenson’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde has been a popular subject for adaptation. Not only does the classic story of a good doctor who unleashes his evil instinct via potion serve as a potent metaphor for everything from sexual repression to drug addiction, but the dual role of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde has provides an excellent opportunity for an actor to show off.

The first film adaptation of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is believed to have been made in 1908. Two more version followed in 1912 and 1913 and then, suddenly, 1920 saw three different film versions.

The best known of the 1920 version is our film for today. This version is best remembered for John Barrymore’s powerful performance in the title role but it also holds up remarkably well as a work of cinematic horror.

Scenes That I Love: The Preying Mantis Scene From Dracula 3D

Posted on October 15, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Dario Argento’s 2021 film, Dracula 3D, doesn’t get the respect that it deserves. I guess that’s to be expected, as people are pretty much obsessed with criticizing Dario and his later films. Personally, I think it’s an enjoyable and unique version of the legend. Thomas Kretschmann is a credible Dracula. Rutger Hauer was a great Van Helsing. The whole thing is wonderfully over-the-top and stylish.

Plus, to my knowledge, this is the only Dracula film in which the Count turns into a preying mantis and beheads someone. Don’t believe me? Here is today’s horror scene that I love:

Horror on the Lens: Nosferatu (dir by F.W. Murnau)

Posted on October 15, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s Horror on the Lens is a classic film that really needs no introduction! Released in 1922, the German silent film Nosferatu remains one of the greatest vampire films ever made. It’s a film that we share every October and I’m happy to do so again this year!

Enjoy!

Cleaning Out The DVR: Seven Days In Utopia (dir by Matt Russell)

Posted on October 14, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, as a part of our attempt to make some space on the DVR so that I can record every upcoming episode of The Bachelorette and she can record the World Series, Erin and I watched the 2011 film, Seven Days In Utopia.

Seven Days In Utopia is a Texas-set (and Texas-filmed) movie about a young pro golfer named Luke Chisholm (played by Lucas Black) who has a very public meltdown while in the middle of a tournament. Feeling that his career is pretty much over, Luke jumps in his car and goes speeding around Southwest Texas. Because he’s not pay attention to the road (which, I’ll be honest, occasionally happens when you’re driving through rural Texas.), he almost doesn’t notice the cow standing in front of his car. Fortunately, Luke swerves and avoids the cow. Unfortunately, he crashes through a fence.

The fence belongs to Johnny Crawford (Robert Duvall), a friendly rancher who — coincidence of coincidences — also happens to be a former pro golfer! With Luke’s car temporarily out-of-commission, he’s stuck in Utopia for at least seven days. Johnny offers to spend those days teaching Luke everything that he needs to know about golf and about life. Luke agrees, because what else are you going to do when you’re stranded in Uvalde County?

Seven Days In Utopia is one of the few films in my lifetime to have been released with G rating and it pretty much earns that G-rating by being the most inoffensive film ever made. Seven Days in Utopia is almost aggressive in its pleasantness. Johnny is very nice. Luke is very nice. Just about everyone that Luke plays against is pretty nice. Everyone in town is pretty nice, even if they do give Luke a hard time about being a “city boy.” Deborah Ann Woll plays the nice waitress at the local diner, with whom Luke has a very pleasant romance. Woll and Black make for a cute couple and they have a nice chemistry. They’re all very pleasant.

Seven Days In Utopia is one of those films that you end up watching when you need something to watch with an older relative who doesn’t understand why “all the movies nowadays have to use all that language!” It’s an old-fashioned movie. That, in itself, is hardly a problem for me. I like old movies and, despite my love of horror as a genre, I can also appreciate movies that are not meant to traumatize the audience. For that matter, I like Lucas Black and I like Deborah Ann Woll. As for Robert Duvall — I mean, My God, he’s one of the last of the great character actors. He’s Boo Radley and Tom Hagen, for God’s sake! Of course, I love Robert Duvall and Duvall really is probably the only actor who could make an idealized character like Johnny Crawford into a real human being. That said, Seven Days In Utopia is also a rather slow film. The pacing will make you feel all seven of those days and the lessons that Johnny teaches to Lucas aren’t particularly profound once you look beyond the fact that they’re being taught by legitimate great actor Robert Duvall. It’s an nice film and the scenery is pretty but, while watching it, it’s hard not to miss the anarchistic spirit of golfers like Shooter McGavin and Happy Gilmore.

The TSL’s Grindhouse: Nightstalker (dir by Ulli Lommel)

Posted on October 14, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 2009 film, Nightstalker, opens with a drifter named Richard Ramirez (Adolph Cortez) lying on his back in what appears to be an alley. He’s obviously been beaten. He appears to be only half-conscious. As he lays there in that filthy alley, we’re treated to several negative-filtered flashbacks of Ramirez shooting people. This is followed by a series of blurry shot that were apparently filmed by someone driving down a street in Los Angeles. Discordant music plays on the soundtrack. If you listen carefully, you can hear someone mumbling in the background but good luck figuring out what they’re actually saying. This is a low-budge film and sound quality was not a concern.

Of course, none of this should come as a surprise to anyone who is familiar with the unique aesthetic of director Ulli Lommel. As I wrote in my review of Son of Sam, Lommel started his career as an association of Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s before he eventually came to America, got involved in the New York art scene, and made a handful of decent films. Unfortunately, after he divorced the heiress who was responsible for funding the majority of his early films, Lommel spent the rest of his career making zero-budget, direct-to-video films about serial killers, like Richard “Night Stalker” Ramirez. Lommel always claimed that there was a political subtext to his serial killer films and I don’t doubt that he was being honest. You have to be sincerely committed to make a film as inept as Nightstalker. At the same time, it’s not easy to figure out just what exactly it was that Lommel thought he was trying to say.

Nightstalker is undoubtedly one of the worst of Lommel’s serial killer films. Usually, I try to make sure that all of my reviews include at least 500 words but it’s really difficult to think of much to say about Nightstalker. The film is frequently out-of-focus. The sound quality is atrocious. The actor who plays the Nightstalker comes across more like a male model than a homeless serial killer who was known for having bad teeth and disagreeable odor. Because there’s already been multiple films and documentaries made about Richard Ramirez, the Lommel version fails to add anything new to the story. Instead, the film is a collection of scenes of Ramirez aimlessly wandering around Los Angeles, sucking on a lollipop and occasionally flashing back to his abusive El Paso childhood. The film moves slowly and Ramirez’s inner monologue is vacuous. The real Ramirez’s thoughts were probably pretty vacuous as well so give Lommel some credit for not trying make the the guy more interesting than he actually was.

Watching the film, you do get the feeling that Lommel was sincrely trying to say something about being on the fringes of society in America. Lommel’s true crime films often implied that American serial killers were the direct result of American culture and its obsession with violence and wealth. As I said, I think Lommel did think that he was making an artistic and political statement with these films, in much the same way that Lucio Fulci insisted that The New York Ripper was actually a critique of capitalism. (Oh, if only Lommel had possessed just an ounce of Fulci’s talent….) Son of Sam, for instance, actually does have a few moments where Lommel’s hallucinatory approach is somewhat effective. But Nightstalker shows the limits of Lommel’s zero budget, semi-improvised approach. It’s a chore to sit through and it’s a shame that, due to the continuing infamy of the mercifully late Richard Ramirez (Netflix aired a documentary about him earlier this year that had him trending on twitter), this is probably one of Lommel’s most-viewed films. Hell, I watched it. But I think this is going to be my last Lommel true crime film for a while.

Halloween, after all, is meant to be a joyous time.

Horror Novel Review: The Hollow Skull by Christopher Pike

Posted on October 14, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Reading a Christopher Pike book after spending a few days focused on R.L. Stine can be a jarring experience.

Even though Stine and Pike are often compared to each other, Pike’s books are usually a lot darker than Stine’s. Whereas an R.L. Stine boo will, more often than not, end with the promise of a return to normalcy, Pike’s novels often seem to end on a down note. The teenage heroes of Pike’s books are just as likely to fail as they are to succeed. Whereas Stine usually only offers up one or two deaths over the course of his books, Pike has no fear of wiping nearly the entire cast by the final chapter. The world of Christopher Pike is a dark disturbing place.

Consider 1998’s The Hollow Skull. The Hollow Skull takes place in the small desert town of Madison, Nevada. Cassie has just graduated high school and is desperate to get out of the town. After all, California’s not that fear away. Why couldn’t Cassie move out there and maybe go to college at UCLA? The only problem is that all of her friends seem to be content with the idea of staying in Madison, including her boyfriend. Plus, if Cassie leaves, that’ll mean leaving her little sister with their abusive, alcoholic father.

Still, because Cassie is determined to escape, her friends suggest that they all go on one last adventure. Hey, why not go down the abandoned mine shaft!? Of course, it turns out that there’s a weird pool of black goo at the bottom of the mine shaft and, after one Cassie’s friends falls in the goo, he starts to act strangely.

In fact, the entire town of Madison starts to act differently, as if they’ve been possessed and disturbing thoughts are now being put into their skulls. Suddenly, everyone that Cassie knows is acting differently. Cassie decides that it time for her and her sister to flee Madison but it turns out that escaping is not going to be as easy as going down an abandoned mine shaft….

Seriously, abandon all hope ye who enter here! This is a dark, dark book. It owes more than a little debt to Invasion of the Body Snatchers but, even more than being a traditional YA horror novel, it’s also a look at just how difficult it is to start a new life. No matter how hard she tries, Cassie cannot seem to make a clean break from Madison. Even if she’s not possessed like everyone else in town, she’s still trapped. At its best, the book captures the hopelessness of being trapped in one location or situation and feeling like you’ll never be able to figure out how to move forward.

Of course, plotwise, it’s all a bit predictable. If you’ve seen any of the versions of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, you’ll be able to guess what’s going to happen. For that matter, if you’ve read Christopher Pike’s Monster, you’ll also be able to predict much of what awaits Cassie. Still, if you’re weary of R.L. Stine’s positivity, Christopher Pike provides a rather downbeat antidote.

Book Review: You Couldn’t Ignore Me If You Tried by Susannah Gora

Posted on October 14, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’m going to take a brief break from recommending books about the horror genre so that I might take some time to recommend a book about another underappreciated genre of film, the 80s teen film.

I read You Couldn’t Ignore Me If You Tried back in September and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It definitely contributed to my later enjoyment of Andrew McCarthy’s autobiography, Brat. At the same time, reading Brat also caused me to think even more about You Couldn’t Ignore Me If You Tried. So, as you can see, it’s all just a circle of good film books.

You Couldn’t Ignore Me If You Tried takes a look at the classic teen films of the 80s — Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Sixteen Candles, and Say Anything. It also takes a look at two films that are a bit less interesting, St. Elmo’s Fire and Some Kind of Wonderful. (Sadly, Fast Times At Ridgemont High is pretty much left unexamined, except for a few references to it in the chapter about Say Anything.) The book explores how John Hughes revolutionized Hollywood by making films that took teenagers and their problems seriously, how he helped to launch a group of talented young actors to stardom while also inspiring directors like Cameron Crowe, and how one reporter managed to end it all by writing an article about the Brat Pack.

The film is full of not just reviews about and thoughts concerning the films but also the stories of how they came to be made. Did you know that Nicolas Cage and John Cusack both had a shot at being cast as Bender in The Breakfast Club? Did you know that Ferris Bueller’s Day Off was originally envisioned as a vehicle for Anthony Michael Hall? Did you know that John Hughes came close to firing Judd Nelson from The Breakfast Club and that it was Paul Gleason (who played Bender’s nemesis, Mr. Vernon) who talked him out of it? It’s all in there and it makes for an entertaining read. There’s something very sweet about discovering that the cast of the Breakfast Club were as close while filming as the characters were while serving detention. And, just as in Andrew McCarthy’s book, it’s very infuriating to learn how one reporter’s night out with Judd Nelson, Rob Lowe, and Emilio Estevez led to not only the creation of the Brat Pack label but also the tarring of any actor who was associated with the Brat Pack.

At times, it’s a bit of sad book. Not only did the Brat Pack label unfairly derail several promising careers but John Hughes himself turned his back on Hollywood. Sadly, no one in the book seems to be quite sure what inspired Hughes to abandon directing and become something of a recluse later in life. There is a lot of talk about how he lost his two early muses, Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall, to adulthood. Sadly, it appears that he didn’t have as much fun directing Ferris Bueller’s Day Off as one might assume, largely because Matthew Broderick and Alan Ruck were already established actors and didn’t need his mentorship in the way that Hall and Ringwald had. Hughes comes across as being a talented and sensitive man who was most comfortable expressing himself through the movies he made. When he stopped making those movies, he closed himself off from the world. One wonders how he would have reacted to the outpouring of grief that was inspired by his untimely death. Would he be touched? Would be embarrassed? One hopes that he would realize that his films touched the souls of viewers of all ages and, when he passed, it was the end of an era.

You Couldn’t Ignore Me If You Tried captures that era in poignant and entertaining detail.