Music Video of the Day: Hold My Hand by Lady Gaga (2022, dir by Joseph Kosinski)

Posted on May 9, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’ve heard at least one critic predict that Top Gun: Maverick will be a major Oscar contender. I don’t quite buy that but I do imagine that the soundtrack will get a major awards push. As performed by Lady Gaga, Hold My Hand feels very Oscar bait-y. We’ll see.

As for the song itself, it’s okay. It’s definitely not my favorite Lady Gaga song, largely because it was so obviously conceived as a way for the film to win an award. To me, it has a bit of a gospel feel and, as I think I’ve said in the past, I find gospel music to be the most boring type of music in existence. That said, Lady Gaga’s voice is amazing and she certainly sells this song.

Enjoy!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 5/1/22 — 5/7/22

Posted on May 7, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Why didn’t anyone tell me that Ghosts was so good!? Over the past few days, I’ve been watching it and loving it.

Anyway, here’s some more thoughts on my week in television!

Atlanta (Thursday Night, FX)

During this week’s funny but unsettling episode, Al got stoned in Amsterdam. It’s possible that he met a mysterious women named Lorraine who warned him about the people around him and who took him to a club where he met Liam Neeson. It’s also possible that Al hallucinated the whole thing while passed out in a doorway.

Barry (Sunday Night, HBO)

The latest episode of Barry really, really freaked me out. Basically, Barry found himself with two options. He could either get Gene a role on a TV show in order to make up for killing Gene’s girlfriend or he could just kill Gene. Barry was determined to give Gene a second chance and, by extension, himself a second chance. Barry was trying to do the right thing. The problem is that Barry is a sociopath who is trying to be the good person that he is incapable of being.

This episode was all about abusive relationships. Sally is trying to produce her dramedy about her own abusive relationship but she doesn’t seem to understand that her current relationship with Barry is just as abusive as the one she escaped. (The scene where Barry yelled at her for not casting Gene was legitimately scary.) Barry is trying to recover from his abusive relationship with Fuches, little realizing that he’s repeating Fuches’s behavior with the way that he’s manipulating Gene. Is Gene going to end up becoming a hit man by the end of this season? It could happen. Meanwhile, the only vaguely healthy relationship on the show, between Noho Hank and Cristobal, came to an end due to them being members of rival criminal gangs.

Bill Hader continues to astound as Barry. He’s both sincere and terrifying. Barry truly believes that he’s capable of doing the right thing even though we know he isn’t. This week’s episode reminded us that Barry can be a scary guy. When he indicated that he would kill Gene’s grandson if Gene didn’t accept the role that Barry had gotten for him, it was a chilling moment. I’ll never look at Barry the same way again.

Better Call Saul (Monday Night, AMC)

Rhea Seehorn directed this week’s episode of Better Call Saul, which featured both Jimmy’s continuing efforts to destroy Howard’s career and also his move into his new office. Meanwhile, Gus and Mike continued to search for evidence of Lalo still being alive. This was a well-done episode, one that did a good job of showing how Jimmy McGill transformed into the Saul Goodman who would later be hired by Walter White.

The Brady Bunch (Sunday Morning, MeTV)

Oh no! Marcia lost her diary! However, this somehow led to her meeting Davy Jones so I guess everything worked out. This was followed by an episode in which the kids were worried that Mike and Carol were going to sell the house so they pretended to be ghosts. Then, Carol and Mike had tickets to a show and Alice had a date so Greg and Marcia were left in charge of the house. Disaster followed. Then, during Sunday’s fourth episode, Marcia was accused of pulling a prank by her school’s principal. The principal was played by the distinguished character actor, E.G. Marshall. One can only guess how Marshall felt about going from Broadway and Oscar-nominated films like 12 Angry Men to appearing on The Brady Bunch. Actually, he was probably happy for the money. I hope Marshall was paid well because he definitely classed up the joint.

Full House (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

MeTV aired 4 episodes of Full House on Sunday and I’m struggling to remember much about any of them. In the first episode, Jesse was worried that he wasn’t smart enough for Rebecca and he proved that he wasn’t by acting stupid. Rebecca, however, forgave him. Then, Michelle and Kimmy ended up babysitting some bratty kid who got his head stuck in a bannister. This was followed by an episode in which Danny started dating again and managed to forgive his date for having a messy apartment. And then, in our final episode, Michelle started preschool and accidentally set the class’s pet bird free. So, Danny bought a new bird and demanded that everyone be nice to his daughter, despite the fact that she was kind of a self-centered brat.

Ghosts (Thursday Night, CBS)

What a charming show! For some reason, I was under the impression that Ghosts was just another gimmicky show but I finally sat down and binged the first eleven episodes on Paramount Plus and I discovered that I was totally wrong. This is really a sweet, witty, intelligent, and well-acted show and one of my favorites of the season. I loved the episode where Sam went to see her mom. That made me tear up. As for my favorite ghost …. Trevor. Yep, it has to be Trevor.

The Girl From Plainville (Hulu)

This frustratingly uneven miniseries came to a close this week. The final episode dealt with the day that Conrad committed suicide and also Michelle’s final days before heading to prison. Considering just how inconsistent this show has been, the finale was actually pretty effective. The lengthy fantasy sequence, in which Michelle imagined running into Conrad at a bar while home from the college that, in reality, she’ll never get to attend, worked far better than it had any right to. In the end, this miniseries didn’t have much to tell us about the suicide of Conrad Roy that we didn’t already know but it did work as a showcase for the talents of Elle Fanning and Colton Ryan.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

I have to admit that, when this week’s episode of Law & Order started, I rolled my eyes when it appeared that the main villain was going to be a barely disguised version of Elon Musk. But then it turned out that guy was just a red herring and the accused instead turned out to be a former State Department employee who claimed that he couldn’t control his actions because of Havana Syndrome. To my great surprise, this turned out to be the the best episode of the season so far, largely because the prosecution finally lost a case and Price was left to wonder if it was largely due to his own self-righteous approach to the law. Sam Waterston finally got a few good scenes too. The Law & Order revival has, for the most part, been uneven but I do think that it’s been getting better.

The Love Boat (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

A famous actress took a cruise and fell for Captain Stubing. Unfortunately, not even the promise of being wealthy and secure could convince the captain to give up the sea.

M*A*S*H* (Weekday Evenings, MeTV)

On Sunday, I watched two episodes of this old sitcom. The first one featured an obnoxious surgeon from Arkansas, who got in trouble for trying to steal Col. Potter’s horse. The second was a bit more dramatic, as a friend of Hawkeye’s died on the operating table and a teenage Ron Howard appeared as a soldier who lied about his age in order to enlist. In the past, I’ve found M*A*S*H to be a bit too preachy for my tastes but this was actually a pretty effective and well-acted episode.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the latest episode of Survivor here!

We Own The City (Monday Night, HBO)

The second episode of David Simon’s latest miniseries about Baltimore was as compelling and as packed with detail as the first. While setting in his jail cell, Jon Bernthal’s Wayne Jenkins remembered the process by which he went from being a relatively honest cop to being the poster child for police corruption. Nicole Steele continued her investigation of Daniel Hersl. In the role of Hersl, Josh Charles only appeared during the final few minutes of the episode but he still made a huge impression as the epitome of everything that people tend to dislike about the cops. I look forward to seeing where this series is heading.

Music Video of the Day: Memories by YUNGBLUD (feat. Willow) (2022, dir by Colin Tilley)

Posted on May 7, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Enjoy this atmospheric video!

I wish I could just let go
Of all the memories I know
Of all the memories I know
But they’re still stuck in my brain

Every time I fall asleep, I know
I’ll wake up alone
I’ll wake up alone
Dreams of you

Wrap around my throat
I think I’m gonna choke
I think I’m gonna choke

Running, running, running, running though the dark
Watch me run a little more
‘Cause when I said forever, I meant forever, now

I wish I could just let go
Of all the memories I know
Of all the memories I know
But they’re still stuck in my brain

I never wanted to cry
I always thought I would make it right
But now I’m stuck inside this shame instead
“Pontificating hypocrite” is what you said
When my heart breaks just a little bit I wanna drop dead
I didn’t wanna concede
Or call my fantasies make-believe
Holding tightly to the task at hand
When I really should be focusing to learn and understand
But I bury all the tragedy with sand

Running, running, running, running to my car
I can’t fucking cry in front of her
When I said forever, I meant forever, now

I wish I could just let go
Of all the memories I know
Of all the memories I know
But they’re still stuck in my brain

Scenes That I Love: “Halt The Flow of Time” from Starcrash

Posted on May 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today is apparently Star Wars Day!

(May 4th …. may the 4th …. okay, I get it.)

So, it seems appropriate to share a scene that I love from my favorite Star Wars film, Starcrash!

Okay, technically, Starcrash is not part of the Star Wars franchise. This 1978, Luigi Cozzi-directed film is usually considered to be one of the more blatant rip-offs of Star Wars. But you know what? I love Starcrash. I’ve seen Star Wars and I’ve seen Starcrash and Starcrash is a lot more fun. Not only does Starcrash feature Marjoe Gortner, David Hasselhoff, Joe Spinell, and Caroline Munro but it also features the one and only Christopher Plummer as the emperor of the universe.

In the scene, Hasselhoff and Munro inform Plummer that they only 45 seconds before a planet explodes. Plummer, however, has the perfect solution and his delivery of the line “HALT …. the flow of time!” is one of the many things that makes Starcrash one of the greatest films ever made.

Music Video of the Day: We Don’t Need Another Hero by Tina Turner (1985, dir by ????)

Posted on May 4, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last week, I watched Mad Max. On Tuesday, I watched The Road Warrior and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. As such, it only seems appropriate that today’s music video of the day should be the theme song from Beyond Thunderdome, We Don’t Need Another Hero.

Performed by Tina Turner (who, of course, also co-starred in Beyond Thunderdome), We Don’t Need Another Hero seems like it was pretty obviously written in an attempt to land, at the very least, an Oscar nomination for Best Original Song. Well, the Academy didn’t nominate the song but it did win a Golden Globe and it went on to become one of Turner’s biggest hits.

The video is a mix of Turner singing and scenes from Beyond Thunderdome. It’s not a bad song, even if it is hard to imagine any of the other Mad Max films featuring a power ballad. Then again, each Mad Max film is it’s own unique work of art. That’s one thing that makes the entire series so effective.

Enjoy!

A May Day Blast From The Past: A Good Days Work: Selling

Posted on May 1, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Happy International Workers Day, a.k.a. May Day!

Today, we celebrate May Day with this short film from 1974. A Good Days Work: Selling is all about how exciting it is to work in a fish market. I guess these film were made so that children in school could mentally prepare for the careers that were ahead of them and, indeed, I imagine a few kids in 1974 probably grew up to work in a New England fish market.

Anyway, I find this short film to be kind of moody and …. I don’t know, weird. The grainy images and the voyeuristic children are, to be honest, kind of unsettling. There’s a lot of ennui to be found in this film. Though it’s not the film’s fault, it’s hard to watch anything that was filmed in New England without expecting some sort of weird Stephen King thing to start happening. But, at the same time, it also taught children about fish markets so I guess that’s a good thing.

Anyway, enjoy!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 4/24/22 — 4/30/22

Posted on April 30, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I saw some pretty good things this week. Barry is back. We Own This City looks like it’s going to be a worthy follow-up to The Wire. I finally binged the first season of Abbott Elementary. Here’s some thoughts on what I watched:

61st Street (Sunday Night, AMC)

As of this point, I really don’t see 61st Street becoming anything more than a second-rate version of The Wire so I think I’m done with it. As I said last week, I think the show would be fine if it was just about Courtney B. Vance and his family but the show is trying to tackle too much in its first season. The best shows develop naturally whereas 61st Street has been overstuffed since the beginning.

Abbott Elementary (Hulu)

Throughout this week, I binged the first season of ABC’s Abbot Elementary on Hulu. A comedic mockumentary about the teachers at a Philadelphia public school, Abbott Elementary owes a bit of a debt to The Office but, at the same time, it also quickly established an identity of its own. It was a good, heartfelt comedy, one that made a point about the importance of supporting teachers without ever committing the Parks and Rec sin of getting preachy or self-satisfied. Of the ensemble cast, Sheryl Lee Ralph and Janelle James were the stand-outs but really, everyone did a good job of bringing their characters to wonderful life. I look forward to season 2!

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

How to get the British airmen out of France? How about sending them up in a Helium balloon? But how to keep the Germans from noticing the balloon? How about moving up the wedding of Fanny and Ernest LeClerc? Sure, why not? It didn’t necessarily make any sense but I’m used to that by now. The episode ended with the wedding and the release of what Officer Crabtree called a “carrier podgeon.” I suppose that next Sunday, I’ll learn why this latest attempt to rescue the airmen failed.

Atlanta (Thursday, FX)

This week’s episode of Atlanta was another stand-alone episode dealing with white people struggling to understand black culture. This time, the story dealt with a wealthy New York couple who, while attending the funeral of their Trinidadian nanny, discover that not only was she more of a parental figure to their son than they were but that she was also so busy raising the children of wealthy white people that she missed out on raising her own children. Chet Hanks had an odd but somehow appropriate cameo as one of the people who the nanny had raised.

It was an okay episode and, unlike the other stand-alone episodes, it was clearly not a dream. (For the same of continuity, posters advertising Paper Boi’s tour are visible during one scene.) The humor and the satire was still sharp but also notably gentler this week than it’s been all season. That said, this episode felt like a clear follow-up to White Fashion, with its portrayal of neglectful white parents who use people of color to raise their children but who, at the same time, can’t even be bothered to learn anything about their nanny’s life or culture.

Barry (Sunday Night, HBO)

Barry’s back! After all the excitement of last season’s finale, the new season Barry opened with everyone stuck in the same rut. Barry is auditioning for roles and still killing people for money. Sally is working on her television series. NoHo Hank is struggling to be a gangster. Gene is in mourning and looking for revenge. (I loved the fact that his gun was a gift from Rip Torn.) Fuches is in Chechnya, eating cereal. The first episode served its purpose. It reintroduced us to the characters (due to the Pandemic, there was a long delay between the 2nd and 3rd seasons) and reminded us of why we watch them in the first place. Bill Hader both directed and starred and showed once again that he is a talent to be reckoned with.

Better Call Saul (Monday Night, AMC)

Better Call Saul is an enthralling show, even if I’m often left a little bit confused as to what exactly is going on. Bob Odenkirk is brilliant, though this week’s episode was dominated by Michael Mando in the role of the intimidating but ultimately tragic Nacho. Perhaps because we know what’s going to happen to the majority of the characters once Walter White shows up, the shadow of death hangs even heavier over Better Call Saul than it did over Breaking Bad.

The Brady Bunch (Sunday Morning, MeTV)

Upset that his children were tying up the phone, Mike Brady came up with the brilliant idea of installing a pay phone in the house. How did that even work? Who installed the phone? Who collected the money? Seriously, this was one of Mike’s worst ideas and he was never held responsible for it.

This was followed by an episode in which Bobby got it into his head that Carol was going to kill him so he tried to run away. Would anyone have missed Bobby in that crowded house? This was followed by an episode in which Marcia got braces and the world world stopped while everyone tried to make her feel better. (Good for them! I never needed braces, by the way.) The fourth episode of MeTV’s bloc of Brady programming featured Peter saving a little girl from being crushed by a collapsing wall. Peter was a hero but he let it go to his head. Mike had to remind Peter that he was still only the middle child and, as such, had no right to feel good about anything.

Full House (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

I missed last week’s bloc of Full House but I get the feeling that once you’ve seen one episode of this show, you’ve seen them all. The first episode of Sunday’s bloc was yet another one where Jesse was worried that he was no longer as cool as he had once been. After being ridiculed by his old friend Scott Baio, Jesse hopped on his motorcycle and drove up to the roof of a building. Apparently, he planned to jump from one roof to another. Rebecca, however, talked him down. The funniest thing about this episode was the discovery that Jesse’s nickname was once “Dr. Dare.” Like, seriously, I get the feeling that Jesse’s fiends were probably making fun of him when they gave him that nickname.

This was followed by an episode in which Michelle’s third birthday party was ruined by the combined stupidity of Jesse and Stephanie. Michelle may have said she was happy celebrating her birthday in that dirty gas station but she was lying big time. The next episode featured Stephanie panicking due to an earthquake and Danny eventually taking her to a therapist so that she could discuss her feelings. Luckily, it only took five minutes to cure Stephanie of her anxiety. The day’s final episode found Joey and Jesse once again struggling to write a jingle together. Meanwhile, the family’s new dog, destroyed Stephanie’s childhood toy but no one cared because Stephanie’s the middle child.

The Girl From Plainville (Hulu)

Much last week, this week’s episode of The Girl From Plainville got bogged down with a lot of boring courtroom dramatics. Still, the final scene, with Michelle Carter fantasizing about her sister singing Teenage Dirtbag, was nicely done. The Girl From Plainville seems like it would be a fine miniseries if it was only four episodes long but, at eight episodes, it just feels a bit too overextended.

Happy Days (Weekday Evening, MeTV)

I watched Happy Days on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, despite the fact that the continuing popularity of this show has always escaped me. The reason I watched is because it was the three-part episode in which the Cunninghams and Fonzie went to California and Fonzie ended up proving his courage by putting on water skis and jumping over a shark. It was an important moment in pop cultural history so I felt it was important that I watch. Fortunately, Fonzie made it over the shark and Richie realized that he would rather be a journalist than an actor.

King of the Hill (Weekday Afternoons, FXX)

On Tuesday, I watched the episode where Jimmy Carter tried to heal Hank and Cotton’s relationship. It’s a classic episode, if just for Hank and Cotton’s disdainful comments as Jimmy and his secret service detail fled the scene. “Why, that’s was just a one-term peanut farmer.” “The man wore a sweater.” Take that, Carter!

On Wednesday, I watched four episodes. Hank carried the Olympic torch and learned that it was okay to be happy. Peggy overthrew the tyrannical king of a Renaissance Faire. (Alan Rickman voiced the king, which was pretty neat.) Connie and the Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience went to Branson, where Bobby sold a joke to comedian Yakov Smirnoff. Peggy was conned out of her retirement savings but she got the money back. Yay!

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

The headmaster of an exclusive private school has been shot! Was it because he was too woke? Nope, it turns out that he was shot by a troubled student. The D.A.’s office decided to charge both the student and the student’s father. Personally, I found their actions to be legally dubious but the jury disagreed. D.A. Jack McCoy was okay with manipulating legal statutes but I don’t think Adam Schiff nor Arthur Branch would have been happy with what his office ended up doing.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Granville’s broom fell apart and Nurse Gladys Emmanuel needed a new washing machine. In the end, no one got what they needed. That’s what happens when you’re open all hours.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the latest episode of Survivor here!

T.J. Hooker (Saturday, Decades TV)

William Shatner is a tough cop who speaks in a very dramatic fashion. I was doing some work in my office on Saturday so I had this old 80s cop show playing in the background. (Decades TV was apparently celebrating the 80s with a TJ Hooker marathon.) The episodes kind of blended together but watching Shatner back when he was still taking himself seriously is always fun.

We Own This City (Monday Night, HBO)

The latest Baltimore-set miniseries from David Simon and The Wire crew, We Own This City premiered this week and the first episode proved to be, in typical Simon fashion, both frustrating and fascinating. The show’s political asides were heavy-handed but it’s depiction of a troubled American city was heart-breaking. Simon has never flinched from showing how political corruption, racism, poverty, and crime all come together to create a destructive cycle that’s impossible to escape. Because happy endings are nearly nonexistent, Simon’s show can be difficult to watch but each one is something that should be watched. As for We Own The City, this miniseries deals with police corruption in the wake of the death of Freddie Gray and the subsequent uprising. Out of the large ensemble cast, Jon Bernthal and Josh Charles are early stand-outs.

Music Video of the Day: Palaces by Flume, feat. Damon Albarn (2022, dir by Jonathan Zawada)

Posted on April 28, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Paradise is destroyed by statistics and graphs. So it goes.

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: Fade Into You, covered by American Football (feat. Miya Folick) (2022, dir by David M. Helman)

Posted on April 27, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Enjoy this haunting video for this haunting cover of a haunting song!

(The theme is haunting.)

Guilty Pleasure No. 54: Solarbabies (dir by Alan Johnson)

Posted on April 26, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Solarbabies is a film that has a reputation. And it’s not a good one.

First released in 1986, Solarbabies is one of those post-Mad Max films that takes place in a post-apocalyptic desert society. There are no more trees. There is no more rain. Order is kept by force. The people are oppressed. Outsiders live in desert towns that have names like “Tiretown.” Children are forced to grow up in a combination of a prison and an orphanage. The orphanage’s Warden (played by Charles Durning) mourns for the way the world used to be, before it became a sun-drenched nightmare without plants or water. The fearsome Grock (Richard Jordan) makes sure that all of society’s rules are followed and the viewer knows he’s a bad guy because he wears a leather trench coat even when it’s over a 100 degrees outside. (Grock never sweats. If only the same could be said of the Warden.) The evil Professor Shandray (Sarah Douglas) experiments on living subjects. It’s a grim, grim world.

However, hope arrives in the form of a glowing orb! A ten year-old deaf boy named Daniel (Lukas Haas) finds the orb and, after regaining his ability to hear, he names it Bodhi. When Darstar (Adrian Pasdar) realizes that he can use Bodhi to protect the people of Tiretown, he steals the orb and runs off with it. Determined to retrieve Bodhi, Daniel chases after him

How will Daniel survive in the desert? Well, luckily, he’s not alone! Daniel was a member of the orphanage’s roller hockey team, the Solarbabies. Terra (Jami Gertz), Jason (Jason Patric), Metron (James LeGros), Rabbit (Claude Brooks), and Tug (Peter DeLuise) strap on their skates and roll out into the desert. Pursuing them is Grock and his stormtroopers.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the desert, an old man named Greentree (Frank Converse) hopes to help the world recover. Greentree looks like a thin version of Santa Claus and he hopes to bring rain and trees back to the Earth. Yes, his name is Greentree. There’s not really much room for subtlety in the world of Solarbabies.

Now, as I said at the beginning of this review, Solarbabies has a reputation. Today, it’s probably best known for being the film that nearly bankrupted Mel Brooks. Yes, that Mel Brooks. When Brooks originally signed on to produce Solarbabies, it was envisioned as being a low-budget sci-fi film that would not have any spectacular special effects. However, Brooks became convinced that Solarbabies had the potential to be a Star Wars-level hit so he increased the budget. He also brought in Alan Johnson to direct the film, despite the fact that Johnson was a choreographer who had only directed one other film and had no experience with science fiction. (Johnson’s previous film had been a remake of To Be Or Not To Be, which starred Brooks and featured Solarbabies’s Charles Durning in a supporting role). At Brooks’s insistence, the film was shot in Spain to save money. Unfortunately, no sooner had Johnson and the film’s cast arrived than Spain was hit by a series of unexpected storms that caused production to shut down. Even when the rain stopped, disagreements between Johnson and the cast delayed the film even further. The footage that was shot satisfied no one, leading to expensive reshoots. In the end, Mel Brooks invested close to $20 million dollars in the film, even taking a second mortgage out on his house. When the film was finally released, it was a critical and box office disaster, though Brooks later said that he did eventually break even after Solarbabies was released on DVD.

So, yes, Solarbabies has a bad reputation and it could be argued that it deserves it. Tonally, the film’s a mess. For a film that appears to have been made for a “family” audience, parts of the film are surprisingly violent Scenes of the Solarbabies playing LaCrosse and cheerfully crossing the desert are mixed with some surprisingly graphic scenes of Grock and Shandray torturing prisoners. Bodhi is a cute and glowing orb who gives Daniel back his hearing and then later brutally kills a lot of bad guys. Jason Patric, Jami Gertz, and Charles Durning all seem to be trying to take the film seriously while Richard Jordan and Sarah Douglas give performances that feel more appropriate for a Hammer horror film. Solarbabies is a bizarre mix of sincerity, sadism, and camp. Nothing about it makes much sense.

And yet….

Listen, I can’t help it. When I watched it last week, I enjoyed Solarbabies. For all of its many and obvious flaws, it’s a hard film not to like. It’s just so thoroughly ludicrous and messy that watching it becomes a rather fascinating viewing experience. It’s hard not to, at the very least, be entertained by the sight of the cast roller skating through the desert. A LaCrosse team battling futuristic Nazis for possession of a glowing orb that can cause rain to fall from a cloudless sky? As far as I’m concerned, it’s impossible not to enjoy that on some level.

Of course, I seem to be in the minority as far as that’s concerned. Alan Johnson never directed another movie after Solarbabies, though he did direct some of those really cool GAP commercials that aired in the early aughts. You know the ones that featured people enthusiastically dancing in khakis? That was him! Those commercials are kind of a guilty pleasure themselves. (Of course, because Mel Brooks nearly didn’t lose his house producing them, they’re not quite as infamous as Solarbabies.) But still, Johnson stared his directorial career by directing Charles Durning to an Oscar nomination in To Be Or Not To Be and he ended it by directing Durning in a box office flop. Well, no matter! I enjoyed Solarbabies and I don’t care who knows it.