Retro Television Reviews: T and T 1.9 “On Ice” and 1.10 “The Latest Development”

Posted on September 8, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, T.S. insults the national sport of Canada and Amy battles city hall.

Episode 1.9 “On Ice”

(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on March 7th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “Decker is forced to face the truth about a long-time friend.”

Though T and T took place in a generic city, the show itself was filmed in Canada, with a largely Canadian cast and crew. Hence, it only makes sense that the show would eventually do an episode that centered around hockey. This episode opens with Mr. T’s friend, Decker (David Nerman), coaching a junior hockey game. While the players skate on the ice and chase the puck, Decker deals with fans like the loud Mrs. Mowby (Jayne Eastwood), who is apparently convinced that she knows better how to coach the team than the actual coach! Unfortunately, Decker is yanked out of the game by two detectives who announce that he is under arrest for “theft of over $2,000.”

After T.S. Turner and Amy bails Decker out of jail, Amy explains that it appears that over $25,000 has been embezzled from the Junior Hockey Association. Decker admits to being the association’s treasurer but he also admits to not being good at numbers. He explains that his old friend, Goldie Stanski (played by Sean McCann), usually goes over the books for him.

“Goldie?” T.S. growls, “You trusted a guy named Goldie!?”

Decker explains that Goldie has been his friend for years. Goldie was his former coach! And, indeed, when Mrs. Mowby demands that Decker be kicked out of the Junior Hockey League, Goldie argues that Decker has not been convicted of anything, not that it does Decker much good. However, Detective Jones (Ken James) informs T.S. that “word on the street” is that Goldie has a gambling addiction.

Decker takes T.S. to his next practice and introduces T.S. to the team. They ask T.S. if he’s going to join them on the ice.

“No thanks, brothers,” T.S. replies, “I don’t play no sport when you can get frostbitten indoors. Besides, I think hockey’s an old ladies’ game …. Look at the ton of equipment you guys wear!”

After practice, Decker is arrested for a second time after the detectives, having gotten an anonymous tip, search his locker and just happen to find a bus ticket that leads to a bag full of money. Fortunately, Amy is able to bail him out of jail again, much to the relief of her spacey administrative assistant, Sophie (Catherine Disher), who has a crush on Decker.

T.S. has decided that Goldie is setting up Decker. Now, he just has to get Goldie to give himself away.

“I think with a little persuasion,” T.S. tells Amy, “he might do something foolish …. Friendly persuasion, of course!”

T.S.’s style of persuasion is to show up in Goldie’s apartment and tell him that everyone knows what Goldie’s done while drinking a glass of milk. “Thanks for the milk,” T.S. growls before leaving. When Goldie responds by going to the gym and pocketing more money from the hockey’s charity fund, Amy, T.S., and Decker are there to chase him out on the ice and catch him. If you’ve ever wanted to see Mr. T drive a Zamboni, this is the episode for you.

Decker’s name is cleared and he’s re-instated as coach. Yay!

This was a totally predictable episode but I kind of liked it. Mr. T on a Zamboni was just a ludicrous enough image to make the entire show work.

Episode 1.10 “The Latest Development”

(Dir by George Mihalka, aired on March 14th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “Amy and I fight City Hall …. and City Hall fights back!”

When a dumb, 13 year-old kid named Nick (Toby Proctor) breaks into a construction site and takes a bulldozer for a joyride, he accidentally destroys a truck. The owner of the site, Enzo Malec (George Touliatos), is determined to throw the book at Nick because he’s an evil developer and he wants both Nick and his grandmother, Cora (Helen Hughes), out of their home.

It turns out that one of Amy’s former classmates, Brian Brack (Richard Comar), works in the city’s legal department so she heads down to City Hall in an attempt to guilt him into allowing Cora to stay in her home. For once, we actually get to see Amy doing legal work, which basically amounts to wandering around with a file folder and rolling her eyes while having conversations with other people.

Meanwhile, T.S. takes Nick down to the construction site and convinces Malec to let Nick work off his debt as a construction worker. T.S. arranges for Cora to move in with gospel-singing Aunt Martha (Jackie Richardson) while Nick moves in with Decker.

Suddenly, building inspectors show up at Amy’s office and start searching for violations. “Brian Brack is responsible for this, isn’t he!?” Amy says, while the inspectors write her up for not having a window that opens quickly enough. That’s a $2,000 fine! Upon discovering that they are now going to war with city hall, T.S. tells Amy, “This could be a title bout!”

Amy confronts Brian at a fancy restaurant and tells him that she has discovered that he has invested in Enzo Malec’s development. She demands to know who he and Malec paid off at city hall. Brian tells Amy that she doesn’t know who she is missing with. Amy responds by tossing a drink on him. In a case of amazing timing, Alderman Kent (Mark Walker) shows up and asks if Amy is going to be joining him and Brian for lunch. Hmmm …. I wonder who the corrupt politician could be.

Meanwhile, T.S. and Decker help Nick deal with his anger by training him to box.

“I know how to fight!” Nick says.

“To win, you need a strategy,” T.S. replies.

T.S. proceeds to knock down a 13 year-old.

While T.S. is teaching Nick how to fight, the city is threatening to shut down Aunt Jackie’s foster home! When T.S. finds out, he puts on his dark jacket and starts to head off to City Hall so he can presumably beat up the mayor. Instead, Amy convinces him to hold off by revealing that Brian and Alderman Kent have been taking bribes from Enzo Malec. When T.S. heads down to the construction site, Malec panics and, later that night, he tries to burn a bunch of incriminating files. However, it turns out that he’s being filmed by Amy and the local news.

And that apparently fixes the whole thing!

This episode felt rushed as it basically only had 30 minutes to deal with an hour’s worth of complications. It only took one boxing lesson for Nick to let go of his anger and it only took one confrontation with T.S for Enzo Malec to make one sloppy mistake. That said, I appreciate any episode that portrays municipal government as being thoroughly corrupt and irredeemable. Fight the system!

Next week: Amy’s car gets stolen!

Retro Television Reviews: South Central 1.3 “RTD” and 1.4 “CO-op”

Posted on September 7, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing South Central, which aired, for 10 episodes, on Fox in 1994. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Andre is nearly killed while riding the bus and Joan is embarrassed by her new employer.

Episode 1.3 “RTD”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on April 19th, 1994)

It’s Andre’s day to watch Deion but when Joan sees Andre’s report card and discovers that Andre failed one class and came close to failing several others, she orders him to go all the way to Inglewood to see his “mentor,” Ray (played by Ken Page). Because Joan has to go to work and there’s no one around who can drive Andre all the way across town, she gives Andre permission to ride the bus. However, she also orders him to sit in front, where it’s safe. Joan then tells Tasha that she’s going to have to give up her day to look after Deion. Tasha gets angry, wondering why she’s the one having to give up her freedom when she’s also the one who actually gets good grades and “doesn’t need a mentor to keep (her) from messing up (her) life.”

I have two thoughts about this.

First off, Tasha is absolutely right to be upset. Why did Joan adopt Deion when she was already financially struggling and she had two children to raise? The show suggests that Joan adopted Deion because she needed a replacement for Marcus but still, it does seem like the responsibility for looking after Deion falls on Tasha much more often than it does on Andre. When Tasha says that she feels that she’s punished for being responsible, she has a point. Obviously, someone has to look after Deion but Joan could, at the very least, acknowledge that the whole situation isn’t easy for Tasha.

Secondly, I have to admit that I’ve always taken the idea of riding the bus for granted. Of course, it’s not something that I do on a regular basis but, whenever I have been on a bus, I’ve felt safe and the only thing that really worried me was dealing with motion sickness. One of the things that South Central did so well was it showed how the experiences that I, as someone living in the suburbs, take for granted (like being able to safely ride a bus) are far different for people living in neighborhoods that are dealing with poverty and crime.

Andre and his friend Rashad, for instance, defy Joan and sit in the back of the bus, where they are eventually confronted by two gang members who steal Rashad’s radio. When Andre tries to stand up to them, one of them pulls a gun on him. Rashad escapes by jumping out the bus’s back window and probably the only thing that saves Andre’s life is that the gunman’s friend recognizes him as being Marcus’s brother. In the second episode, a friend of Marcus’s gave Andre money. In this episode, another one of Marcus’s friends saves Andre’s life. Marcus may be dead but his name still carries some power and it’s hard not to compare the respect that Marcus commands with Joan having to take a job bagging groceries just to keep her home.

Andre finally does reach Ray’s home and is immediately impressed with Ray’s big house, his big TV, and his stereo equipment. (He is less impressed with what’s playing on Ray’s radio, asking Ray why he’s listening to “white music.”) Ray tells Andre that the only way he’ll ever have a decent home is if he improves his grades and goes to college. Andre, however, is more interested in Nicole (Maia Campbell), who comes from a wealthy family and who works, “after school,” as Ray’s administrative assistant. When Andre hears that Nicole wants to go to Princeton, Andre decides that he wants to go there too.

Ray is hesitant to give Nicole’s number to Andre, which Andre takes to mean that Ray thinks that Andre isn’t good enough to date a girl from an upper class family. However, the next day, Ray has a change of heart and invites Andre to come to church with him and Nicole’s family. An excited Andre agrees but, unfortunately, this means taking the bus once again. When the guy who previously pulled a gun on him sees Andre on the bus, he not only beats up Andre but also steals his good church shoes.

Andre shows up at Ray’s house, bloody and barefoot. It’s not the best way for Andre to meet Nicole’s parents. When Nicole promises that she’ll check on how Andre is doing after church, Nicole’s mother responds, “No, you won’t.” Ouch!

Ray takes Andre home where Joan announces that Andre is no longer allowed to ride the bus, regardless of how he feels about Nicole. Andre, having paid Nicole’s cousin five dollars for her number, calls Nicole and promises her that they’ll see each other, regardless of what their parents think.

This was a strong episode. It can be easy to get annoyed with Andre, who tends to talk a big game but, watching this episode, it’s obvious that he’s perhaps the most naïve character on the show. The only male role model that he has in his life is Ray and, as this episode makes clear, Ray is well-meaning but doesn’t exactly understand the realities that Andre has to deal with on a day-to-day basis. I mean, what’s the point of having a mentor if there’s a good chance you’re going to get killed trying to visit him? Andre refuses to surrender and rides the bus a second time in order to see Nicole and he gets mugged for his trouble. With the whole world seeming to be against him, who can be surprised that getting good grades isn’t his number one concern?

Episode 1.4 “CO-op”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on May 3rd, 1994)

It’s a big day for all the members of the Mosely family!

Andre manages to get a ride into Inglewood, where he shows up unannounced at Ray’s office and finally gets Nicole to agree to go out on a date with him on Friday. I have to admit that I cringed a bit at the scene where Andre showed up, if just because I worked as an administrative assistant when I first got out of college and I know how annoying it is to have some jerk show up and try to keep you from getting your filing done. If the previous episode was about revealing Andre’s hidden depths, this episode was all about his immaturity. Nicole’s decision to kiss Andre and make a date with him honestly felt more like her rebelling against her parents than actually being attracted to Andre as an individual.

While Andre is getting a date with Nicole, Joan is getting humiliated on television. When Bobby (Clifton Powell) arranges for the local news to come do a live spot from the Ujamaa Co-op, he introduces Joan as being someone that he (and the Co-op) saved from having to go on welfare by hiring her to bag groceries. When Joan snaps that Bobby humiliated her, Bobby challenges her to tell him what was inaccurate about anything he said. Joan points out that, for someone who claims to be all about sacrificing for the community, Bobby certainly has the money to afford “a new dashiki.” And Joan does have a point. Bobby is one of the more interesting characters on the show, mixing a sincere desire to improve his community with a healthy ego that prevents him from realizing just how condescending he can be when spreading his message.

Of course, with Andre and Joan both occupied, it falls on Tasha to once again sacrifice her plans so that she can take care of Deion and make sure that he goes to his therapy session. Deion, who doesn’t converse but does often yell, strikes Tasha at one point and, by the time Tasha arrives at the therapist’s office, she’s sick of dealing with him. The therapist (CCH Pounder) sends Deion to play in another room and then talks to Tasha. Tasha finally gets to talk about how unfair it is that, because she’s the responsible one, she’s the one who is always expected to give up her plans. This really was Tasha Scott’s showcase episode and she did a great job showing how difficult it is to have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. This episode works because it not only acknowledges Tasha’s anger but it also admits that there isn’t an easy solution. The therapist doesn’t come up with some perfect turn of the phrase that makes everything better. Instead, in the end, Tasha takes some comfort in the fact that the now calm Deion briefly reaches out towards her, showing her the first real appreciation that she’s received in the series.

Next week, Tasha and Andre’s father briefly returns to their lives.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.5 “The Scoop/The Audit Couple/My Boyfriend’s Back”

Posted on September 6, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Today, the IRS takes a cruise. Agck!

Episode 3.5 “The Scoop/The Audit Couple/My Boyfriend’s Back”

(Dir by Jack Arnold, originally aired on October 6th, 1979)

Captain Stubing is being audited!

Damn the IRS! What a bunch of money-obsessed fascists!

The IRS agent, Viola Penny (Phyllis Diller), has booked a room on the cruise so that she can look through Captain Stubing’s records and….

Wait a minute. If you’re an IRS agent, you get to go on a luxury cruise and also look through someone’s private information? That sounds like fun! Sign me up!

Anyway, Viola originally seems to be tough-minded and determined to toss Capt. Stubing in jail. But then she gets drunk at dinner and, when she wakes up in the captain’s cabin, she’s convinced that she and Stubing are now lovers. She decides to go easy on the audit but then she comes across $50,000 hidden in an ice bucket and she becomes convinced that Stubing is cheating the government and that he seduced her to keep her from finding out. But then she discovers that the money is actually the crew emergency fund and she falls in love with Stubing again….

Yeah, it’s hard to keep track of how Viola feels from scene to scene. At the end of the episode, she declares her love for the captain and leaves the boat. Stubing realizes that he forgot to ask her what the results of his audit were but he also orders Gopher not to call her back to the boat. If there’s a new captain next week, I’ll just assume Stubing’s in USP Marion.

Meanwhile, caddish Jay Cavanaugh (Lyle Waggoner) is really excited when he sees his ex-girlfriend, Patricia Lucas (Jennifer Salt), on the boat. Jay is determined to get back together with Patricia, despite the fact that Patricia is on her honeymoon with her new husband, Danny (Richard Kline). Danny is instantly jealous of Jay, who has a perfect smile and a perfect tan. However, he needn’t be insecure because Patricia is totally in love with him. Still, Danny keeps walking in on Jay flirting with Patricia and soon, he declares that the marriage is over.

Patricia tricks Jay into stepping up on a stage in the Acapulco Lounge and announcing that he’s in love with Patricia. Patricia then announces that Jay has no idea what love is and declares, in front of all the crew and passengers, that she’s in love with Danny. Danny and Patricia’s marriage is saved but seriously, Danny was kind of wimpy about the whole thing. It seems like Patricia deserved better than both Jay and Danny.

Finally, Simon Scott (Ray Buktenica) is a tabloid reporter who is on the cruise because he’s been assigned to discover who the famous actress, Jackie Landers (Joyce Dewitt), is traveling with. It turns out that Jackie is not traveling with a romantic partner but instead with her autistic son. At first, Jackie pretends to be in a relationship with Doc Bricker but eventually, Simon discovers the truth. However, Simon refuses to write a tabloid-style story about her child so Jackie falls in love with him and hires him to help her write her own non-tabloidy story about her son.

This episode was a mixed bag. The IRS storyline was frustrating, largely because it featured a lot of complications that could have been prevented by people just not jumping to conclusions. The newlyweds story felt anticlimactic because there was never any question about who Patricia would choose to be with. But the storyline with Jackie, Simon, and Jackie’s son was actually pretty sweet. Ultimately, this was a pleasant but forgettable cruise.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.13 “The Inventor/On The Other Side”

Posted on September 5, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

This week’s trip to Fantasy Island is sadly forgettable. Let’s find out why.

Episode 3.13 “The Inventor/On The Other Side”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on December 15th, 1979)

This week, there is no banter between Tattoo and Mr. Roarke before they head off to meet their guests. In fact, Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize barely look at each other. It’s a shame because this is actually a pretty dire episode. It could have used some passive-aggressive Tattoo/Roarke interaction.

The first fantasy features Arte Johnson as Professor Dwayne Clebe and Marcia Wallace as his assistant, Martha Meeks. Professor Clebe is tying to develop a solution that, when sprayed on metal, will make it impervious to damage. When he first arrives at Fantasy Island, the solution is called 2X76409, with the 9 signifying the 9 labs that have been blow up by Clebe’s experiments. By the time he and Martha perfect the solution, it has become the 2X76411. Fear not, no one is injured when the labs blow up. Even though Clebe and Martha are both standing in the middle of these explosions, they always just end up with soot on their face.

Anyway, once the formula is perfected, leaders of both industry and the world’s trade unions travel to Fantasy Island to try to destroy it. The industrialists think that it will drive down prices. The unionists think that it will put people out of work. Eventually, the Russians show up because they want the formula for themselves. It all leads to a big chase and Prof. Clebe realizing that he loves Martha.

The whole fantasy was way too cartoonish and overwritten for its own good and it featured some of the worst acting that I’ve ever seen on Fantasy Island. Let’s move on!

Unfortunately, the other fantasy really isn’t that great either. Irma Gideon (Jeanette Nolan) was the wife of a medium. When he died, he promised that he would contact her from the other side. He hasn’t done so and Irma’s fantasy is to go to the other side, see her husband, and then return. Mr. Roarke arranges for a séance but, when he suspects that Irma is planning on just going to the other side and staying there, he cancels the fantasy. After Irma swears that she won’t stay in “the other side,” Mr. Roarke allows her to enter a death-like trance in a Fantasy Island laboratory. When Irma goes to the Other Side and is tempted to cross a bridge and stay permanently, her grandson (Keith Gordon) enters into a trance of his own so that he can beg her to come back.

It all sounds like it should be interesting but the execution is lacking, with one scene featuring a painting of Irma’s husband speaking to her being so badly done that it makes it impossible to take the rest of the fantasy seriously. Jeanette Nolan and Keith Gordon both give marginally better performances that Arte Johnson and Marcia Wallace did in the other fantasy but, in the end, the whole thing just falls flat.

Well, not every trip to Fantasy Island can be a winner.

Guilty Pleasure No. 62: Backtrack (dir by Dennis Hopper)

Posted on September 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Sometimes, you see a film that is just so weird and incoherent that you can’t help but love it.

Of course, it also helps if the film has a once-in-a-lifetime cast of actors who you would never expect to see acting opposite each other.

For me, that’s certainly the case with 1990’s Backtrack. Directed by Dennis Hopper, Backtrack is a film about an artist (Jodie Foster, channeling Jenny Holzer) who witnesses a mob murder committed by Joe Pesci, Dean Stockwell, Tony Sirico, and John Turturro. An FBI agent played by Fred Ward suggests that the artist should go into the witness protection program but she doesn’t want to give up her life as a New York sophisticate who creates challenging LED displays and who can eat Sno Balls whenever she gets the craving for one. (Yes, this is a plot point.) Turturro and Sirico break into the artist’s apartment and kill her boyfriend, who is played by a wide-eyed Charlie Sheen. The artist puts on a blonde wig and goes on the run, eventually getting a job in advertising.

Realizing that his men can’t get the job done, mob boss Vincent Price decides to hire a legendary hitman played by Dennis Hopper (who also directed this film) to track down the artist. However, the hitman becomes fascinating with the artist’s work, finds pictures of her posing in black lingerie, and immediately falls in love with her. Not only does he wants to save her life but he wants her to wear the same lingerie exclusively for him. (Yes, this is a pretty big plot point.) At first, the artist refuses and views the hitman as being some sort of pathetic perv. But then she discovers that he’s covered her bed with Sno Balls….

Meanwhile, a young Catherine Keener shows up as the girlfriend of a trucker who briefly considers giving the artist a ride to Canada.

And then Bob Dylan shows up, handling a chainsaw.

And there’s Helena Kallianiotes, the outspoken hitch-hiker from Five Easy Pieces, yelling at Joe Pesci!

And there’s Dennis Hopper’s The Last Movie co-star, Julie Adams! And there’s Toni Basil! And there’s director Alex Cox!

Dennis Hopper not only starred in Backtrack but he also directed and it’s obvious that he placed a call into just about everyone he knew. In fact, one could argue that the only thing more shocking than Vincent Price showing up as a mob boss is that Peter Fonda, Karen Black, Elliott Gould, Robert Walker Jr., and Kris Kristofferson are nowhere to be found in the film. Hopper’s first cut of Backtrack was reportedly 3 hours long but the studio cut it down to 90 minutes, renamed it Catchfire, and Hopper insisted on being credited as Alan Smithee. Later, Hopper released a two-hour version with the Backtrack title and his directorial credit restored.

Regardless of which version you see, Backtrack is an odd film. It’s hardly the first film to be made about a hit man falling for his target. What distinguishes this film is just how bizarre a performance Dennis Hopper gives in the role of the hitman. It’s as if Hopper gave into every method instinct that he had and the end result was a mix of Blue Velvet‘s Frank Booth and the crazed photojournalist from Apocalypse Now. Jodie Foster’s cool intelligence makes her the ideal choice for a conceptual artist but it also makes it hard to believe that she would fall for a jittery hitman and, in her romantic scenes with Hopper, Foster often seems to be struggling to resist the temptation to roll her eyes. Somehow, their total lack of romantic chemistry becomes rather fascinating to work. They are two talented performers but each appears to be acting in a different movie. What’s interesting is that I think a movie just about Hopper’s spacey hitman would be interesting (and, if you’ve ever seen The American Friend, it’s hard not to feel that such a movie already exists) but I think a movie about just about Foster’s artist and her life in New York would be just as fascinating. Taken as individuals, the artist and the hitman are both compelling characters. Taken as a couple, they don’t belong anywhere near each other.

But let’s be honest. This is a film that most people will watch for the parade of character actors delivering quirky dialogue. Even if one takes Hopper and Foster out of this mix, this is an amazingly talented cast. One need only consider that John Turturro did Do The Right Thing before appearing in this film while Joe Pesci and Tony Sirico did Goodfellas immediately afterwards. This film features a once-in-a-lifetime cast, made up of actors who were apparently told to do whatever they felt like doing. Turturro plays up the comedy. Sirico plays his role with cool menace. Stockwell barely speaks above a whisper. Fred Ward plays the one sane man in a world of lunatics. Vincent Price delivers his line as if he’s appearing in one of Roger Corman’s Poe films and somehow, it makes sense that, in the world of Backfire, an Italian gangster would have a snarky, mid-Atlantic accent.

It’s an odd little film, an example of 80s filmmaking with a 70s sensibility. While it’s not touched with the lunatic genius that distinguished Hopper’s The Last Movie, Backtrack is still something that should be experienced at least once.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

Film Review: The Old Way (dir by Brett Donowho)

Posted on September 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Oh my God! A Nicolas Cage western!? This is going to be great!”

That was my initial reaction when I heard about The Old Way, a film in which Nicolas Cage plays a former gunslinger who returns to his old ways while seeking revenge for the murder of his wife. Who knew which Nicolas Cage would show up for The Old Way? Would we get the wild, unpredictable Cage? Would we get the soulful and haunted Cage? Would this be one of the films that Cage cared about or would this be one of the films that Cage clearly just made for the money? Hearing that Nicolas Cage walked off the set because of an accident with one of the guns did not fill me with confidence. (The armorer who worked on The Old Way was the same one who went on to work on Rust and again, that did not exactly fill me with confidence.) Still, I was definitely curious to see The Old Way for myself.

Unfortunately, The Old Way is neither Cage at his best nor Cage at his most eccentric. Instead, Cage gives a quiet and emotionally restrained performance as Colton Briggs. When Briggs is first seen, he’s taking part in an extrajudicial execution and then coldly killing a man who first shoots him in the back. Jump forward 20 years and, much like Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven, Colton Briggs is now a married man and a somewhat uptight shop owner who rarely shows a hint of emotion. His 10 year-old daughter (Ryan Kiera Armstrong) is as rebellious as Colton once was and she has no idea about Colton’s past. However, when the nephew of the man that Colton killed at the start of the film, murders Colton’s wife, Colton sets out for revenge. His daughter follows him, along with Marshal Jarret (Nick Searcy, giving the film’s best performance). Jarret is a former friend of Colton’s but both men make it clear that they will kill the other if they have to. That’s the old way.

It’s a typical western and, on a purely technical level, it’s not a bad one. The cinematography is frequently gorgeous and the members of the rival gang are made up of memorable character actors like Clint Howard and Abraham Benrubi. Obviously, a certain amount of care went into recreating the old west. As I said before, Nick Searcy is ideally cast as Marshal Jarret and he gives a performance that will keep you guessing as to whether or not Jarret should be trusted. Nicolas Cage is adequate in the lead role, even if he’s never quite as eccentric as most of his fans would probably prefer him to be. When he first shows up, he’s wearing an obviously fake mustache but that’s about as odd as his performance gets.

But, in the end, The Old Way just isn’t a particularly memorable film. It’s one of those films that you watch with the hope that it will suddenly spring an unexpected detail or a bizarre moment on the audience but it never happens. The Old Way is way too formulaic for its own good, borrowing liberally from True Grit and Unforgiven without ever really establishing its own identity.

The Eric Roberts Collection: Enemies Among Us (dir by Dan Garcia)

Posted on September 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Normally, I’d never celebrate the idea of the hero of a movie being wrongly sent to prison in a state that is rather aggressive in its use of the death penalty but Devin Taylor (Griffin Hood), the hero of 2010’s Enemies Among Us, was so annoying that I found myself hoping he would never get out of jail.

Enemies Among Us is a low-budget film about many different things. Sen. Fred Edmonds (Steven Bauer) of North Carolina is about to accept his party’s presidential nomination and most of the polls show him far in the lead. Senator Edmonds is planning on naming Louisiana Governor Chip Majors (James DuMont) as his running mate because this film takes place in a world where presidential nominees don’t try to balance their ticket by picking someone from a different region or from a swing state. When we see Sen. Edmonds, he’s being interrogated by a journalist named Gretna (Tammi Arender), who is upset over campaign finance laws. We’re meant to dislike Edmonds but Gretna is written and performed as being such a caricature of a shrill left-winger that we actually start to feel bad for Sen. Edmonds. LEAVE HIM ALONE, GRETNA!

Meanwhile, Gov. Majors has just murdered the prostitute that he was visiting in the same hotel where, in a few hours, he’s supposed to host a major fundraiser. The prostitute tried to kill the governor first but still, murder is murder. However, the governor offers to pay off two members of his security details, Devin and Cobbs (Eric Roberts). Cobbs is enthusiastic about the idea and seems to find them whole thing to be rather amusing. Devin is conflicted but he goes with the plan …. for a while.

Meanwhile, Cobb’s ex-wife Goloria (Robin Givens) is a CIA interrogator who is torturing a terrorist named Jassim (Armando Leduc) in an effort to lean when the next big terrorist attack is planned. Jassim taunts her, saying that Americans don’t understand why the rest of the world hates them. The torture leads Jassim to have a bizarre hallucination, in which he makes out with Gloria and rambles on about the sorry state of humanity.

Meanwhile, Agent Graham (Billy Zane) hangs out in bars and …. well, he really doesn’t do much beyond act like Billy Zane.

Wow, what an annoying movie. Enemies Among Us is one of those films that wants to tackle all of the important subjects but it approaches politics with all of the nuance and imagination of a college freshman who has just read Howard Zinn for the first time and is now convinced that he has all the answers. There’s not a subtle moment to be found in Enemies Among Us and the scene where Devin starts yelling about how Americans deserve honesty is so clumsily handled that you’ll find yourself laughing more than nodding along.

That said …. Eric Roberts is in this! Roberts doesn’t get a lot of screentime and his character is given an unceremonious exit from the film but he’s still the film’s highlight. Roberts spends the entire film smiling. Even the discovery that the governor has murdered the prostitute cannot wipe that smile off of Roberts’s face. It’s a bizarre performance but at least it’s entertaining. It’s the type of performance that will remind viewers of why they love Eric Roberts, even in films like this.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Icarus File No. 10: 88 (dir by Eromose)

Posted on September 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Femi Jackson (Brandon Victor Dixon) is a recovering alcoholic with a pregnant wife and a past-due mortgage who totally and completely believes in a presidential candidate named Harold Roundtree (Orlando Jones). A former baker-turned-politician, Roundtree is running for the 2024 Democratic presidential nomination on a platform of small government and personal responsibility. That really doesn’t sound like a platform for success in a Democratic primary but whatever. Let’s just go with it.

Femi has been hired as financial director for a SuperPAC that is raising money for the Roundtree campaign. Femi notices that many of the donations are being submitted in numbers that add up to 88. When he takes this news to his friend Ira Goldstein (Thomas Sadoski), Ira reveals that 88 is a code that Neo-Nazis use to identify each other. Femi and Ira do more digging and they discover that, throughout his entire life, Roundtree has been receiving financial aide from various rich men, all of whom sent Roundtree’s sums of money that all add up to 88. Femi questions why Neo-Nazis would do something that makes it so easy to identify them. Ira replies that they’re marking their territory.

While Howard Roundtree records an interview with a left-wing commentator (William Fichtner), Femi tracks down and meets with an elderly and repentant Neo-Nazi (Jonathan Weir), who now needs an oxygen tank to breathe and who lives in an isolated house with his black wife. Femi is later approached by a volunteer in the SuperPAC’s office, who informs him that the only way that White Supremacy can survive is by latching onto a black politician like Harold Roundtree. Femi and Ira prepare to meet with Rountree, with Femi still convinced that he has no idea who is secretly funding his campaign.

While this is going on, Femi’s wife (Naturi Naughton) tries to help an ex-con achieve a bank loan despite the opposition of her sister (who also works for the bank) while Femi’s son, Ola (Jeremiah King), gets in trouble at school for showing his classmates a video of a school shooting. It turns out that Femi’s brother-in-law is not only a cop but he’s also white and he agrees to drive Ola to school so that Ola can see that not all cops are bad. Ola’s obvious fear as he walks out to the squad car indicates that the experiment, no matter how well-intentioned, is probably not going to work.

88 is certainly an ambitious film and the opening minutes, which features Femi’s wife explaining why Black Panther is not the empowering and progressive film that Femi believes it to be, suggest that the film has the potential to be interesting. And throughout the film, there are little moments that do work, like the scene where Femi tells his son how to react if he’s ever pulled over by a cop. Unfortunately, the majority of the film is a clumsily-acted and talky mix of melodrama and heavy-messaging, one that tries to duplicate the style of Spike Lee’s agitprop but instead ends up feeling more like a secular and politically progressive version of the God’s Not Dead films than anything else. The film drags on for 2 full hours with Brandon Victor Dixon’s nerdy blandness failing to provide the narrative momentum to keep the action interesting. As well, Orlando Jones is perhaps the least convincing presidential front runner that I’ve ever seen in a film, speaking a cadences that appear to be specifically patterned on Barack Obama but suggesting none of the charisma that would be necessary to captivate a nation. Again, the film deserves some praise for having the ambition to actually be about something more than just selling toys and comic books but, in the end, it’s earnest dullness and heavy-handed messaging fails to hold one’s attention.

Previous Icarus Files:

The Unnominated: Office Space (dir by Mike Judge)

Posted on September 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Though the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences claim that the Oscars honor the best of the year, we all know that there are always worthy films and performances that end up getting overlooked. Sometimes, it’s because the competition too fierce. Sometimes, it’s because the film itself was too controversial. Often, it’s just a case of a film’s quality not being fully recognized until years after its initial released. This series of reviews takes a look at the films and performances that should have been nominated but were, for whatever reason, overlooked. These are the Unnominated.

The other night, Erin and I started a new Labor Day weekend tradition of watching the 1999 comedy, Office Space.

As we watched Mike Judge’s first live-action film, it occurred to me that Office Space is a film that unites all of my friends. It doesn’t matter whether they work in an office like Peter (Ron Livingston), Samir (Ajay Naidu), or Michael Bolton (David Herman) or if they work in a restaurant like Joanna (Jennifer Aniston) or even if they’re an independent contractor like Peter’s loud neighbor, Lawrence (Diedrich Bader). It doesn’t matter if they would rather be fishing like Peter or watching reruns of Kung Fu like Joanna. Everyone that I know has said that they can relate to Office Space. Everyone has had to deal with a passive-aggressive jerk of a boss like Bill Lumbergh (Gary Cole). Everyone has known a crazy co-worker like the red stapler-obsessed Milton (Stephen Root). Everyone dreads the arrival of consultants like the Bobs (John C. McGinely and Paul Willson). Everyone resents being told that doing the bare minimum is not enough, whether it’s just sitting in your cubicle or wearing 15 pieces of flair. Everyone dreams of sleeping late and not stressing about TPS reports. Everyone dreams of screwing over their company in a way that’s so clever that they’ll never be caught. (And I think everyone secretly knows that they would screw it up by putting a decimal point in the wrong place.) Everyone wants to destroy the oldest and least reliable piece of equipment at work. Everyone wants to feel like they can just announce that they’re going to quit and spend the rest of their life doing what they would do if they had a million dollars.

Considering the fact that the film has now become universally beloved, it’s interesting that Office Space opened to mixed reviews and middling box office. The studio wasn’t sure how to sell a live action film from the director of Beavis and Butt-Head and King of the Hill and many critics focused on the film’s rather loosely-constructed, episodic narrative and overlooked the fact that the film captured all of the small details that drive people crazy about their work. Audiences, though, discovered the film on video and undoubtedly enjoyed watching it after a long day of dealing with their own annoying boss. The film’s star, Ron Livingston, has said that many people have approached him and told him that he inspired them quit their jobs. “That’s kind of a heavy-load to carry.”

For a film that centers around office workers updating data so that computer systems don’t cash in 2000, Office Space has aged remarkably well. Ron Livingston, David Herman, and Ajay Naidu are an instantly sympathetic and likable trio of nerdy heroes. Stephen Root’s panic as he realizes that he will be the only employee not to get a piece of cake remains both poignant and funny. Gary Cole is still the boss from Hell. I still laugh at John C. McGinley’s rage when his praise of Peter as a “straight-shooter with upper management potential” is dismissed by Peter’s boss. We can all relate to Jennifer Aniston’s dislike of flair and her hatred for Brian (Todd Duffey). The jump to conclusion mat would probably be even more popular today than back in 1999.

Of course, Office Space was not nominated for any Oscars. That’s not really a shock. It’s an episodic comedy that was directed by a Texas filmmaker who was, at the time, best-known for a cartoon about two brain-dead teenagers. Obviously, it wasn’t going to be nominated for anything, even though I think more people have probably watched Office Space over the past few days than have watched American Beauty. Oscars aren’t everything, though. Office Space remains both a great work film and a great Texas film.

Previous entries in The Unnominated:

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 6.11 “High School Confidential” and 6.12 “Graduation on Three”

Posted on September 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Today, we finally say goodbye to Hang Time!

Episode 6.11 “High School Confidential”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on December 9th, 2000)

With graduation day approaching, the seniors class of Deering High is interviewed by Mary Beth and Kristy. That’s right, it’s time for a clip show! Interestingly, all of the clips come from seasons 5 and 6. You would think that, after going to high school for 6 years, Julie and Mary Beth would have more memories. No one even mentions Coach Fuller or any of the other basketball players that Julie went out with before meeting Michael. Even for a clip show, this was a let down.

Episode 6.12 “Graduation on Three”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on December 16th, 2000)

It’s graduation time! Because she’s the greatest player who has ever lived, the school officially retires Julie Connor’s number. No one else will ever wear Number 34. Hopefully, no one else will ever spend six years in high school as well. Actually, if I remember correctly, Julie transferred to Deering from another school so it’s totally possible that it took Julie seven years to graduate high school.

Considering how long it took the rest of the characters to graduate high school, it’s not surprising that Kristy is the school’s valedictorian. Kristy is especially concerned about giving a perfect graduation speech because she’s worried that she’ll never see her friends again after graduation. I could relate to what Kristy was feeling because, when I graduated from high school, I also feared that I would never see my friends again. Luckily, society now has Facebook so we can check in on all of our old friends from high school and discover that they’ve all become political cranks.

Kristy does eventually find the courage to give her valedictorian speech. For some reason, Mary Beth hosts the graduation ceremony. (Did Deering High not have a principal?) After Coach K gets an award, Kristy gives her speech and breaks down into tears. It was kind of sad but also pretty sweet. Again, I could relate to how Kristy was feeling.

All that’s left is for everyone to throw their graduation caps into the air and then share one final group hug in the gym. Awwww!

And that’s it for Hang Time!

Well, what is left to say about this show, one that I’ve spent a year reviewing? Hang Time was a messy show, largely because the cast was constantly changing and everyone stayed in high school for way too long. That said, the good episodes tended to be very good and the bad episodes were, for the most part, inoffensive. The show probably should have ended when Reggie Theus left but Dick Butkus was a more than adequate replacement and, indeed, Coach K. was arguably the show’s best character during the final two seasons. Even if the final seasons were a bit weak, Megan Parlen and Amber Barretto were a good comedic team. The final episode ended with Kristy saying, “I’m going to miss this place,” and you know what? So am I.

Next week: Retro Television Reviews leaves Indiana for ….. MIAMI! Are you ready for a little Vice?