Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Last week, the team was heading to the championship and then suddenly, they were taking a trip to New York.  Let’s see if this week makes any more sense!

Episode 4.23 “Breaks of the Game”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 28th, 1998)

Remember how the team was in New York during the previous episode?

Well, now, they’re back in Indiana!  And they’ve advanced in the championship tournament, making it to the finals!  The only problem is that their best player has tested positive for steroids.  When Hammer is told that he’s the only member of the team to have tested positive, he swears that it’s a mistake.  He gets retested and fails a second time.  Hammer swears that he is steroid free.  Michael believes him.  Silk and Rico think he’s lying and are angry at him for ruining the season.  Julie doesn’t really care, she just wants to figure out how to win without Hammer.

Well, the team doesn’t win without Hammer.  They come close, especially after they realize that the only reason Hammer tested positive was because of his allergy medication.  But, for the first time in a few seasons, they miss that all-important final shot and, for once, it’s the other team that wins by one point.

Coach K tells them not to be too hard on themselves.  He says that the true test of maturity is how you handle disappointment and bad breaks.  It’s not a bad message, even though we all know Coach Fuller would have found a way to win that game.

Meanwhile, Kristy meets a painter who tells her that he’s obsessed with her red hair.  (The same thing has happened to me more than once.)  She poses for him but is shocked to discover that, even though she was dressed while posing, he still painted her naked.  Julie, Mary Beth, and Kristy sneak into the art show and destroy the painting.  Somehow, they don’t get arrested.  Personally, I can’t laugh at people destroying paintings.  Sadly, that’s pretty much the direction that our society is heading in.

Let’s give this episode credit for dealing with defeat.  But seriously — don’t pose unless you’re willing to accept that the artist’s vision might be different from yours.

Episode 4.24 “Window of Opportunity”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 28th, 1998)

The team is in New York City and getting ready to celebrate Christmas!  Wouldn’t they rather celebrate in Indiana with their families?  And why are Kristy and Mary Beth there when they’re not actually members of the basketball team?  I mean, the team won the trip.

Anyway, Mary Beth finds time, during her vacation, to work as an intern at a department store.  She impresses the store owner by giving the teen department a makeover and, when her manager tries to steal the credit for her ideas, Mary Beth learns an important lesson about standing up for herself.  An even better lesson to learn would be that vacations are not meant for work.

Speaking of work, Coach K is hired to work as a department stare Santa.  He forced Michael, Rico, Hammer, and Silk to be his elves because why should any of them actually get to relax on their vacation?  Coach K and the Elves are briefly mistaken for being a group of thieves and they end up in jail.  But then they’re released because the real thieves were caught.  Seriously, that’s the whole storyline.

Ugh.  If I had wanted to watch an episode of City Guys, that’s what I would have done.

Next week, season 4 concludes!