The late Wings Hauser not only co-starred in Vice Squad but he also sang the theme song, Neon Slime.
Here is today’s song of the day:
Tag Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman
Scenes That I Love: Wing Hauser Gets Busted In Vice Squad
Wings Hauser, the great character actor who brought his unhinged intensity to many a film, has passed away. Rest in Peace.
Today’s scene that I love comes from what may be Hauser’s best-known film, 1983’s Vice Squad. In this scene, the Vice Squad thinks that they have busted Ramrod, the sadistic pimp played by Hauser. In this scene, Hauser makes Ramrod into an intimidating figure even as he’s being arrested. Martin Scorsese once said Wings Hauser deserved an Oscar for his performance in Vice Squad and he was right.
Music Video of the Day: Get It At Home by Saint Motel (2025, dir by A/J Jackson and Mario Contini)
It’s always a good way when there’s a new video from Saint Motel!
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.12 “A New Woman”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.
Let’s celebrate Christmas early with Monsters!
Episode 3.12 “A New Woman”
(Dir by Brian Thomas Jones, originally aired on December 16th, 1990)
It’s the day before Christmas and businessman Tom (Thomas McDermott) is dying. His wife, Jessica (Linda Thorson), want him to sign over the deed for several building that he owns so that she can kick out everyone who isn’t paying their rent. His son (Dan Butler) thinks that is an inhumane thing to do on Christmas. Tom’s doctor (Mason Adams) informs Jessica that she will be visited by three spirits that will help her change her ways….
And indeed, she is! But these aren’t the ghosts that Charles Dickens made famous. Instead, they’re horrifying zombies that are being led by Tom’s vengeful spirit. That’s enough to scare Jessica into changing her ways. She doesn’t want to become a zombie! Who would? It’s a Merry Christmas for all!
Monsters’s take on A Christmas Carol actually isn’t bad. It takes a while to get going but the zombies are effectively frightening and Jessica’s terrifying night is full of ominous atmosphere and effective scares. I guess my main problem with this episode was that the pacing was odd. It seemed to take forever to get around to that doctor telling Jessica she would receive visitors from the other side. And when the visitors did arrive, it was effective but it still felt a bit rushed.
Still, it was nice to see Monsters not only do a Christmas episode but also, in a rarity for this show, one that had a happy ending.
Insomnia File #67: Heist (dir by Scott Mann)
What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or streaming? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!
If you find yourself awake later tonight, you can always go over to Tubi and watch the 2015 direct-to-video action thriller, Heist.
Heist takes place in Louisiana. Francis “The Pope” Silva (Robert De Niro) is a mobster and businessman who owns a riverboat casino. The Pope lives his life according to a set of simple but very specific rules. He doesn’t lend money. He doesn’t forgive people who betray him. If you steal from him, he will track you down and he will get his money back and he will make you regret your decision. Working as his main henchman is the sadistic Dog (Morris Chestnut). The Pope’s former main henchman was a man named Luke Vaughn (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) but Luke grew tired of the violence and walked away from it all. Now, Luke works as a dealer in The Pope’s casino. His daughter is sick and Luke desperately needs $300,000 to pay her medial bills. When The Pope refuses to give him the money, Luke teams up with security guard Jason Cox (Dave Bautista) and sets out to rob the place.
The robbery is carefully planned by Luke but, inevitably, things go wrong. A security guard shows up earlier than he was supposed to. A shootout leads to Jason’s best friend, Dante (Stephen Cyrus Sepher), getting shot. The getaway driver panics and drives off, leading to Luke, Cox, and Dante hijacking a bus. Cox orders the bus driver (D.B. Sweeney) to take them to Galveston but Luke is more concerned with getting the money to his daughter. Meanwhile, two police officers — Kris Bajos (Gina Carano) and Detective Marconi (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) — follow the bus, each pursuing their own agenda.
Considering that this film is basically a low budget rip-off of Speed (albeit without a bomb threatening to take out the cast), Heist has an impressive cast and they all do a good job of elevating the film above its B-movie origins. Don’t get me wrong. There are hundreds of plot holes to be found in Heist. The film’s big twist really doesn’t make much sense when you think about it. But, in the end, Heist is an entertaining thrill ride that moves quickly enough that most viewers really won’t have time to obsess on all the lapses of logic. Morgan plays his role with just enough heart that you want his criminal to succeed. De Niro brings some extra layers to a role that could have been a caricature. There’s a brief scene in which he meets his estranged daughter (Kate Bosworth) and, as a result, you suddenly see his character in an entirely new light. As a character who seems like a much more sinister version of Zach Morris, Mark-Paul Gosselaar keeps you guessing. And finally, Gina Carano — years before her cancellation — gives an earnest performance that works despite her character being rather inconsistently written.
Heist is an entertaining and fast-paced action film with a good cast and an interesting story. If you can’t sleep, you might as well be entertained.
Previous Insomnia Files:
- Story of Mankind
- Stag
- Love Is A Gun
- Nina Takes A Lover
- Black Ice
- Frogs For Snakes
- Fair Game
- From The Hip
- Born Killers
- Eye For An Eye
- Summer Catch
- Beyond the Law
- Spring Broke
- Promise
- George Wallace
- Kill The Messenger
- The Suburbans
- Only The Strong
- Great Expectations
- Casual Sex?
- Truth
- Insomina
- Death Do Us Part
- A Star is Born
- The Winning Season
- Rabbit Run
- Remember My Name
- The Arrangement
- Day of the Animals
- Still of The Night
- Arsenal
- Smooth Talk
- The Comedian
- The Minus Man
- Donnie Brasco
- Punchline
- Evita
- Six: The Mark Unleashed
- Disclosure
- The Spanish Prisoner
- Elektra
- Revenge
- Legend
- Cat Run
- The Pyramid
- Enter the Ninja
- Downhill
- Malice
- Mystery Date
- Zola
- Ira & Abby
- The Next Karate Kid
- A Nightmare on Drug Street
- Jud
- FTA
- Exterminators of the Year 3000
- Boris Karloff: The Man Behind The Monster
- The Haunting of Helen Walker
- True Spirit
- Project Kill
- Replica
- Rollergator
- Hillbillys In A Haunted House
- Once Upon A Midnight Scary
- Girl Lost
- Ghosts Can’t Do It
Song of the Day: Under the Boardwalk, performed by Bruce Wills and The Drifters
Happy birthday to the legendary Bruce Willis. Here he has in the 80s, performing Under The Boardwalk with The Drifters. It’s also our song of the day.
Oh, when the sun beats down and burns the tar up on the roof
And your shoes get so hot you wish your tired feet were fire proof
Under the boardwalk, down by the sea, yeah
On a blanket with my baby is where I’ll be
Out of the sun
(Under the boardwalk) We’ll be havin’ some fun
(Under the boardwalk) People walking above
(Under the boardwalk) We’ll be fallin’ in love
(Under the boardwalk) Yeah (boardwalk)
From the park you hear the happy sound of the carousel
You can almost taste the hot dogs and french fries they sell, yes you can
Under the boardwalk, down by the sea, yeah
On a blanket with my baby is where I’ll be
Out of the sun
(Under the boardwalk) We’ll be havin’ some fun
(Under the boardwalk) People walking above
(Under the boardwalk) We’ll be fallin’ in love
(Under the boardwalk) Yeah (boardwalk)
Yeah, under the boardwalk, down by the sea, yeah
On a blanket with my baby is where I’ll be
Out of the sun
(Under the boardwalk) We’ll be havin’ some fun
(Under the boardwalk) People walking above
(Under the boardwalk) We’ll be fallin’ in love
(Under the boardwalk) Yeah (boardwalk)
Songwriters: Arthur Resnick / Kenny Young
Scenes I Love: Zed’s Dead From Pulp Fiction
Today’s scene that I love comes from 1994’s Pulp Fiction.
There aren’t many happy endings to be found in Pulp Fiction. Vince ends up gunned down in Butch’s bathroom. Jules leaves to wander the Earth. Mia is still married to Marcellus. Marcellus may get his briefcase but he’s still going to be traumatized for life. However, Bruce Willis’s aging boxer, Butch, gets a happy ending. And good for him!
Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead.
Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.20 and 5.21 “The Musical/My Ex-Mom/The Show Must Go On/The Pest/My Aunt, the Worrier”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
It’s time to set sail for adventure, your mind on a new romance. The Love Boat promises something for everyone so welcome aboard …. it’s love!
Episode 5.20 and 5.21 “The Musical/My Ex-Mom/The Show Must Go On/The Pest/My Aunt, the Worrier”
(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on February 27th, 1982)
I tried, everyone. Seriously, I really did try.
This week’s episode was a musical. It’s not just that the crew of the Love Boat was putting together their first annual crew talent show. It’s not just that Ethel Merman appeared as Gopher’s mom while Carol Channing played Julie’s aunt and Della Reese played Isaac’s mom while Ann Miller showed up as Doc’s former mother-in-law. All of that was fine. The episode was called The Musical and, looking at that guest list, I expected that the majority of this super-sized, two hour musical would feature the crew and their relatives rehearsing. I was looking forward to it. I’m a dancer. Ann Miller’s one of my heroes. Bring it on!
The problem was that the crew also sang and danced when they weren’t rehearsing. Every few moments there was a big production number. Some of them were entertaining. Again, Ann Miller was there and I love watching her dance. But most of the production numbers were pretty bad. It quickly became obvious that the Love Boat crew was not made up of natural-born singers and dancers. Fred Grandy tried really hard whenever he had to sing and he earnest dedication was charming but otherwise, most of the musical numbers fell flat. Each number was followed by wild applause but, seeing as how The Love Boat was not shot in front of a live studio audience, it quickly became apparent that the applause — much like the laugh track — was being piped in. Fake applause just made the whole thing feel …. not right.
I really wanted to like this episode but it just didn’t work for me. If it had limited the singing and dancing to the talent show, it would have been fun. But by turning the entire episode into a musical, it just became a bit too much, an experiment that ultimately didn’t work.
Do I sound like a feel guilty for not liking this episode? Well, I guess I do. Of all the shows that I review, The Love Boat is frequently my favorite and I really, really wanted to like this episode. I could tell that the cast was doing their best. I could tell that they probably had fun shooting this episode. But, in the end, it just didn’t work. I wanted it to work but it didn’t.
Oh well. I applaud the show for experimenting, even if it didn’t quite come together. Next week will be better!
4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Bruce Willis Edition
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
Today, Bruce Willis turns 70. It’s time for….
4 Shots From 4 Bruce Willis Films
Die Hard (1988, directed by John McTiernan, DP: Jan de Bont)
Pulp Fiction (1994, dir by Quentin Tarantino, DP: Andrzej Sekuła)
12 Monkeys (1995, dir by Terry Gilliam, DP: Roger Pratt)
Last Man Standing (1996, dir by Walter Hill, DP: Lloyd Ahern II)
Film Review: Precious Cargo (dir by Max Adams)
2016’s Precious Cargo tells the story of Jack (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) and his ex-wife Karen (Claire Forlani).
Karen is a professional thief who has botched a robbery for her former lover, crime boss Eddie Filosa (Bruce Willis). Eddie wants Karen dead so, of course, Karen flees down to the Florida everglades, where she finds Jack living in a swamp shack and making love to his latest girlfriend, Jenna (Lydia Hull). Karen tells them to go ahead and finish up and she’ll just wait out in the kitchen. Jack in not particularly happy to see Karen again but then he notices that she has a baby bump. “Always use a condom,” Karen tells Jenna. Eddie’s men, led by Simon (Daniel Berhardt), attack and it all leads to a boat chase that is surprisingly exciting when you consider that Precious Cargo is a low-budget, direct-to-video offering.
It turns out that Jack can save Karen from Eddie’s wrath by planning and executing a heist for the crime boss. Jack assembles his crew, Jack gets ready for the heist …. uh-oh, it’s time for a double cross! The plot is nothing special. It’s identical to a hundred other low-budget crime films that you’ve seen recently. It’s the type of thing that Michael Mann could have turned into a metaphor for American ennui but, in this film, it’s just a typical heist. The viewer enjoys it while it’s happening and then forgets about it two minutes afterwards.
That said, Precious Cargo is not quite as bad as the typical direct-to-video film. Mark-Paul Gosselaar — yes, Zack Morris himself — gives a reasonably compelling performance as Jack. To a certain group of people, he’s always be Zack and I imagine he’s sick of people asking him about whether or not he still has his giant phone but, as he’s gone from teen idol to adult actor, Gosselaar has shown himself to be a talented actor. (For the record, Zack lost his phone in the drunk driving episode. I know some people say that episode doesn’t count because it was a Tori episode but I say that it does. So there.) Claire Forlani is actually more compelling in these direct-to-video films than she ever was in any of the big budget studio films that she used to appear in.
Of course, I imagine that the main selling point for this film was meant to be Bruce Willis. This is one of the direct-to-video films that dominated the last fourth of Willis’s career. When Willis retired due to aphasia, there was a general assumption that all of Willis’s direct-to-video films were made as a result of his condition. I don’t know if that’s quite true. (It’s entirely possible that he just wanted a quick payday.) But it is true that Willis only has a few minutes of screentime in Precious Cargo and that several shots involving Eddie were accomplished with a stand-in. That said, in this film, Willis still brings some energy to the part. He’s an effective villain, even if I think everyone prefers to see Willis saving the day. Even in the direct-to-video era, Bruce Willis still had a definite presence.
Precious Cargo is predictable and ultimately forgettable but it’s still entertaining enough for 90 minutes.
Through the Shattered Lens