David Rupprecht | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! This Thursday, I will be reviewing Harry’s Battles, which aired its only episode on ABC in 1981. The show can be found on YouTube!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Adam Rafkin, aired on June 8th, 1981)

Harry Fitzsimmons (Dick Van Dyke) is a grocery store manager who doesn’t understand why life has to be so complicated. During the opening credits, we watch as a gas station attendant (Joe Regalbuto) changes the price of unleaded while Harry is filling up his tank. We watch as the car-wash guy (Joe Regalbuto again) changes the radio station in his car. We watch as a postman (played by, you guessed it, Joe Regalbuto) clumsily tosses Harry’s package into the street after Harry tells him that it’s fragile.

Harry is easily frustrated, and anyone who has ever had to deal with any sort of bureaucracy will be able to understand where he’s coming from. In this episode, he and his wife, Mary Carol (Connie Stevens), are planning a night at the theater with their best friends, Herb (Danny Wells) and Diane (Marley Sims). They’re going to see Kate Jackson in Evita. But then Mary Carol gets something in her eye, and Harry decides to run her by the emergency room to get it checked out. It should only take a few minutes….

Two hours later, Harry is demanding to know where his wife is, the nurse on duty (Brooke Alderson) is more interested in talking on the phone than talking to him, and Dr. Harwood (Joe Regalbuto) is making jokes like, “We may lose patients on the operating table but not in the halls.”

It turns out the ER is short-staffed because everyone is at a party for the departing head of psychiatry. Harry talks to the incoming head of psychiatry, Dr. Jorgensen (David Ruprecht), who starts talking about the wrath that he’s going to bring down on the world. Only Harry seems to notice that the incoming head of psychiatry is apparently insane.

When Dr. Harwood announces that he’s found Harry’s wife, he rolls out an elderly woman (Florence Halop) in a wheelchair. When Harry insists that the woman is not his wife, both Dr. Harwood and the nurse reply that the woman is named “Mrs. Fitzsimmons” and therefore she is Harry’s wife. Eventually the woman announces that she’s escaping and rolls out of the hospital. Only then does it occur to the doctor and the nurse that the woman might not be Harry’s wife despite her last name. They have a good laugh over it.

When Mary Carol is finally found, she’s on a gurney and can barely walk or talk because of the painkillers she’s been given for her broken collarbone. “See,” Harwood says, looking at the X-ray, “look at that finger-shaped bone!” “That is my finger!” Mary Carol finally manages to say. Harry loses it and accuses Dr. Harwood of being incompetent. The doctor responds that not everyone can afford to go to the theater and that he is proud to be a doctor for those people. All of the patients in the ER applaud….

I’ve watched a lot of pilots for this feature and most of them are pretty bad. Harry’s Battles is actually really good and still funny and relatable nearly 45 years after it first aired. (It’s amazing to think that Dick Van Dyke, who was in his fifties when he did this pilot, is still with us.) Harry’s anger is the anger that everyone feels while dealing with incompetence. His frustration with paperwork and bureaucratic nonsense remains relatable. If anything, it’s probably even more relatable today than when this pilot first aired. We live in an overly regulated society and, sadly, there are a lot of people currently running for office who want to make things even more regulated. Dick Van Dyke may be a DSA supporter, but Harry Fitzsimmons definitely would have known better. I also really like the idea of Joe Regalbuto playing everyone who annoys Harry. Watching this pilot, it was easy to imagine week after week of various Regalbuto characters making Harry’s life difficult.

Sadly, this pilot was not turned into a television series. If Harry’s Battles had become a series, it probably would have been a classic. As it is, we’ve got this one episode that encourages us to consider what could have been.

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, we learn why almost all of Morrison’s patients seem to die.

Episode 3.14 “Whistle, Wyler Works”

(Dir by David Anspaugh, originally aired on January 2nd, 1985)

It’s another busy day at St. Eligius.

Having finally found a kidney donor, Dr. Westphall performs the transplant. Tshalla (Larry B. Scott) gets a new kidney but Dr. Wyler is shaken to discover that, while he’s been working in Africa, surgical techniques in America have progressed to the point that Wyler now feels undertrained.
Having managed to alienate even the super patient Dr. Morrison, Mrs. Hufnagle is now working her “charm” on Bobby Caldwell. Caldwell tells Hufnagle that she doesn’t really need plastic surgery but Hufnagle seems to really want it.
Victor freaks out when he’s not included to assist in Dr. Craig’s latest big surgery. A chance meeting with Ellen Craig leads to Victor confessing that his father died when he was young and that he’s always been looking for a new father figure.
Ellen snaps at Mark for not understand how much Victor looks up at him. Yay! I always like it when Ellen stands up to Mark. That Bonnie Bartlett and William Daniels were (and are) married in real life always adds an extra snap to these scenes.
Elliott appears to have a crush on one of Nurse Rosenthal’s daughters. There’s no way that’s going to end well.
Dr. Chandler returns from vacation (in reality, Denzel Washington was probably busy filming a movie) and deals with a patient (Jay Tarses) who is also a bigamist.
When the representative of a fly-by night medical school approaches Luther and tries to get him to enroll, Auschlander kicks the smarmy representative out of the hospital. Before the rep leaves, he mentions that St. Eligius already has at least one of his school’s graduates on staff.
Yep, it’s Jack Morrison.

It’s already been established that Jack got his medical degree from a Mexican medical school. In this episode, it’s further established that, whereas most doctors spends years in medical school, Jack graduated after six months. Jack explains that he still passed all of the tests that he was required to take but that he was also given credit for his life experience of working as a pharmaceutical rep.

Dr. Westphall is not amused. If someone could learn how to be a doctor that quickly, Westphall says, wouldn’t we all being doing it? Westphall points out that he put his reputation on the line to keep Jack around as a second-year resident. Westphall also says that this explains why Jack always seems to be misdiagnosing his patients and …. well, I think Westphall has a point!

This was not a bad episode, though I’m a bit weary of this Dr. Wyler storyline. Wyler doesn’t do much other than feel sorry for himself. I’m far more interested to see where things will be going with both Victor and Jack.