Karen Petraesk | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, we learn why almost all of Morrison’s patients seem to die.

Episode 3.14 “Whistle, Wyler Works”

(Dir by David Anspaugh, originally aired on January 2nd, 1985)

It’s another busy day at St. Eligius.

Having finally found a kidney donor, Dr. Westphall performs the transplant. Tshalla (Larry B. Scott) gets a new kidney but Dr. Wyler is shaken to discover that, while he’s been working in Africa, surgical techniques in America have progressed to the point that Wyler now feels undertrained.
Having managed to alienate even the super patient Dr. Morrison, Mrs. Hufnagle is now working her “charm” on Bobby Caldwell. Caldwell tells Hufnagle that she doesn’t really need plastic surgery but Hufnagle seems to really want it.
Victor freaks out when he’s not included to assist in Dr. Craig’s latest big surgery. A chance meeting with Ellen Craig leads to Victor confessing that his father died when he was young and that he’s always been looking for a new father figure.
Ellen snaps at Mark for not understand how much Victor looks up at him. Yay! I always like it when Ellen stands up to Mark. That Bonnie Bartlett and William Daniels were (and are) married in real life always adds an extra snap to these scenes.
Elliott appears to have a crush on one of Nurse Rosenthal’s daughters. There’s no way that’s going to end well.
Dr. Chandler returns from vacation (in reality, Denzel Washington was probably busy filming a movie) and deals with a patient (Jay Tarses) who is also a bigamist.
When the representative of a fly-by night medical school approaches Luther and tries to get him to enroll, Auschlander kicks the smarmy representative out of the hospital. Before the rep leaves, he mentions that St. Eligius already has at least one of his school’s graduates on staff.
Yep, it’s Jack Morrison.

It’s already been established that Jack got his medical degree from a Mexican medical school. In this episode, it’s further established that, whereas most doctors spends years in medical school, Jack graduated after six months. Jack explains that he still passed all of the tests that he was required to take but that he was also given credit for his life experience of working as a pharmaceutical rep.

Dr. Westphall is not amused. If someone could learn how to be a doctor that quickly, Westphall says, wouldn’t we all being doing it? Westphall points out that he put his reputation on the line to keep Jack around as a second-year resident. Westphall also says that this explains why Jack always seems to be misdiagnosing his patients and …. well, I think Westphall has a point!

This was not a bad episode, though I’m a bit weary of this Dr. Wyler storyline. Wyler doesn’t do much other than feel sorry for himself. I’m far more interested to see where things will be going with both Victor and Jack.

Made in 1985 for CBS, Ace Hits The Big Time is a seriously strange little film.

It tells the story of Horace Hobart (Rob Stone, a likable actor), a 16 year-old kid from New Jersey who has just transferred to a new high school in New York. He’s paranoid about going to his new school because it’s supposedly populated by gang members. The school is so notorious for gang activity that the members of the gang even make an appearance on the front page of the paper of record, The New York Freaking Times! Looking at the newspaper makes Horace Hobart so paranoid that he has musical fantasies in which the members of a gang known as the Purple Falcons surround him, start singing, and then beat him up while doing an interpretive dance.

Horace does eventually find the courage to go to his new high school but he insists on calling himself “Ace,” he wears a jacket with a fearsome dragon embroidered on the back of it, and he wears an eye patch because he’s got …. ewwww …. pink eye. (Remember when Bob Costas got pink eye at the Olympics and traumatized thousands of viewers by insisting on going on the air every night and talking about snowboarding while struggling to keep his eye from popping out of its socket? Those were crazy times!) Ace looks so tough that the real Purple Falcons mistake him for being an associate of a notorious New Jersey gang (no, not the Sopranos) and they recruit him to be a member of their gang. Ace is so convincing as a tough guy that a film crew decides to use him and his friends as extras in a movie! (Interestingly, the director is really involved in picking and working with the extras. There’ll be no second unit crap for Ace and the Purple Falcons!) Unfortunately, another gang insists on trying to make the Purple Falcons look bad. Fortunately, Ace is able to defuse the tension by baking a cake. What?

This is like the dorkiest version of West Side Story ever made and I can’t really figure out what the message is supposed to be. On the one hand, Ace is totally paranoid about any sort of gang violence and goes out of his way to try to prevent a gang war. On the other hand, even before Ace shows up and starts quoting John Lennon, neither one of the show’s gangs are particularly violent or even intimidating. The Purple Falcons are pretty much impossible to take seriously because they’re called “the Purple Falcons.” (They all wear purple, as well. I guess some other gang had already claimed all the cool falcon colors.) They really don’t do any sort of “gang” stuff. Instead, they eat a lot of pizza and appear in a movie. That sounds like a pretty good deal, actually. With its mix of dorky humor, random dance numbers, and “tough” gang talk, this is one of those old time capsules that simply has to be seen to be believed.

And here it is!