Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.16 “Saving Face”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, things continue to be awkward in Boston.

Episode 3.16 “Saving Face”

(Dir by Charles Braverman, originally aired on January 16th, 1985)

This episode of St. Elsewhere was even busier than usual.

  • Tough-as-nails Dr. Mary Woodley (Karen Austin) has been hired to oversee the ER.  Dr. Fiscus isn’t happy about it.  He’s going to have to work for a woman?  Agck!
  • Dr. Cavanero is also not happy.  Of course, the last time that St. Eligius hired a new female doctor, Cavanero told everyone at the hospital that she was a lesbian and, for some reason, this led to the doctor having to leave town.  (It was the 80s.)  Maybe, just maybe, there are reasons to have doubts about Cavanero’s professionalism.
  • Dr. Westphall shows Dr. Woodley around the hospital and, as usual, comes across as being the saddest man on the planet.
  • Dr. Westphall informs Jack that he will be allowed to continue on as a resident.  However, Westphall also rather glumly states that he will be watching Jack from now on.  Jack better not screw up or Westphall will “come down” on him.  Personally, I think Westphall is too depressed to really do much of anything.
  • Feeling guilty about Murray’s death, Elliott brings Mrs. Hufnagle a ham.  Mrs. Hufnagle has an allergic reaction and ends up back in the hospital.  “She thinks I tried to kill her!” Elliott says.
  • A teenager (Tim Van Patten) brings in his pregnant girlfriend, who has OD’d.  Dr. Woodley says she is required to call family services.  Myself, I started shouting, “I am da futah!” as soon as Tim “Stegman” Van Patten showed up on the screen.
  • Dr. Caldwell performs extensive plastic surgery on a disfigured young woman.  When Dr. Ehrlich says that the patient looks like she got hit with the “ugly stick,” Caldwell kicks Ehrlich off his team.
  • Nobody wants to work with Ehrlich!  Dr. Craig declines to invite Ehrlich to his 34 year anniversary party.  Cavanero agrees to take Ehrlich as her date.  “What are you doing here!?” Craig snaps as soon as he sees Ehrlich in his living room.
  • Dr. Craig’s younger brother, William (Lou Richards), also shows up.  He was invited at Ellen’s insistence, despite the fact that William and Mark haven’t spoken in over four years.  Mark feels that William has wasted his life and his potential.  But when William proves to be the life of the party, it becomes apparent that Mark is actually jealous of how likable his younger brother is.
  • In the kitchen, Mark and William have a long conversation.  William admits that he’s struggling to pay the bills.  Mark writes him a check.  For a few minutes, the brothers actually reconcile.
  • However, Mark later hears William joking about how much money surgeon’s make and he loses his temper.  In front of the entire party, he calls out William and reveals that he doesn’t have a dime to his name.
  • That night, after everyone else has left and William has gone to the guest room, Ellen tells Mark that he should apologize.  Mark agrees and says he’ll do it in the morning.
  • Later, during the night, Mark steps out of his bedroom and discovers that William has gone home.  He left behind the check, which he ripped in half.  Mark stares at the check and starts to cry.

This was another episode that did a good job balancing the serious and the humorous.  Dr. Ehrlich’s inability to say the right thing will never not be funny.  For that matter, the same can be said of Dr. Craig’s general irritation with everything.  And yet, seeing Dr. Craig break down and cry was truly heartbreaking.  Dr. Craig and Dr. Ehrlich share an inability to socialize and a habit of screwing up even the kindest of gestures.  Even when they try to do the right thing, they somehow always manage to screw it up.

I wanted to cry for all of them.

Horror Film Review: Omen IV: The Awakening (dir by Jorge Montesi and Dominique Othenin-Girard)


Omen_IV_DVD_cover

“Why am I watching this crap?”

That was the question that I asked myself many times last night as I watched Omen IV: The Awakening.

Seriously, it is just the WORST* and, if not for my own need to be a completist, I probably would have stopped watching after the first ten minutes.  But you know what?  I love movies, I love this site, and even more importantly — I LOVE YOU!  And I would do anything for you so I watched Omen IV: The Awakening so you wouldn’t have to.

Of course, when would you ever have to?  I probably should have considered that before I sat down to watch the film.

ANYWAY — let’s keep this quick.  The Omen IV: The Awakening was made for television and was originally broadcast way back in 1991.  It tells the story of Virginia Congressman Gene York (Michael Woods) and his wife, Karen (Faye Grant, who is currently in the news because of a tape that’s surfaced of her ex-husband Stephen Collins confessing to being a child molester).  Gene and Karen cannot have children so they adopt a baby from a bunch of nuns.  What they don’t suspect is that some of the nuns are actually in league with Satan and that their new daughter is actually the child of Damien Thorn!

Seven years later, they’ve named their daughter Delia and Delia has grown up to be something of a sociopath.  A bunch of new age hippie types suspect the truth about Delia but, whenever they get close to revealing that truth, they end up getting killed in freak accidents.  Meanwhile, Gene insists nothing is wrong while Karen…

Oh, forget it.  This movie is so bad that it’s painful to even try to describe the plot.

Let’s just say that this is an amazingly bad movie that has none of the power of the first Omen.  Nor is it as unintentionally fun as Damien: Omen II.  And none of the actors do as good as job as Sam Neill did in The Final Conflict.  Instead, it’s just a rather dull film where the tedium is only occasionally interrupted by somebody dying a terrible death.  There are two effective sequences — one in which a private detective (Michael Lerner) is chased by demonic spirits and another where a snake handler gets distracted just long enough to get bitten a few thousand times.  Otherwise, Omen IV: The Awakening deserves its terrible reputation.

AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS!

(Which probably won’t be hard since I imagine that the only way you could be tricked into watching it would be if you’re one of those film bloggers who insists on being a completist…)

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* Yes, it’s so bad that it gets the all caps treatment.