Retro Television Reviews: The Master 1.13 “A Place To Call Home”

Posted on August 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Master, which ran on NBC from January to August of 1984. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, The Master comes to an end.

Episode 1.13 “A Place To Call Home”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on August 31st, 1984)

The Master ends in much the same way that it began, with Max and John Peter McAllister in a small town that is controlled by an evil businessman. In this case, land developer Mark Richards (Jock Mahoney) wants to run the local orphanage out of town so that he can steal the land and expand his uranium mine. Max and McAllister not only help Kim Anderson (Susan Woollen) save her orphanage but they also provide some much-needed mentoring to two of the orphans, Mike (Doug Toby) and Bobby (played by Kane Kosugi). Bobby, it turns out, has some martial arts skills of his own! It’s amazing how McAllister and Max were always traveling to small towns that just happened to be home to other people who knew karate.

Though his son plays Bobby, Sho Kosugi does not appear in this episode, which is a shame considering that it would be turn out to be the show’s finale. For that matter, the show ends with McAllister having yet to find his daughter. In fact, Terri McAllister is only mentioned briefly at the end of the episode, when McAllister says that he and Max have to get back on the road because “I’m looking for my daughter.” Considering that the whole premise of the show was that McAllister was searching for Terri while Okassa was searching for McAllister, it seems like neither was really in a hurry to accomplish their goals.

A Place To Call Home feels like a greatest hits package, duplicating the plot of the pilot while tossing in a bit of the union episode‘s political subtext. Even the scene where McAllister attempts to hop onto a helicopter feels a bit reminiscent of the ghost town episode. The Master ended with an episode that resolved nothing and didn’t really bring anything new to show’s format.

Why did The Master end after thirteen episodes? When taken as a whole, the show wasn’t as bad as its reputation. While the stunt doubles did most of the work, Lee Van Cleef and Tim Van Patten still managed to develop a likable chemistry over the course of 13 episodes. At first, the show’s writer stried too hard to play up the idea of Max Keller being a rebel with a chip on his shoulder but, after the first few episodes, it appears that they realized that Van Patten’s greatest strength as an actor was that he had a sort of amiable goofiness to him. The stories were predictable but the fight scenes were usually (if not always) well-choreographed and entertaining. The stunt people earned their paycheck.

In the end, though, I think The Master never quite figured what it wanted to be. Did it want to be a straight action show? Did it want to be a goofy buddy comedy? In some episodes, McAllister was apparently a famous and well-known figure. In others, he was a total unknown. In some episodes, finding Terri was the most important thing in his life. In others, he really didn’t seem to care. The best episodes were the ones that winked at the audience and acknowledged just how ludicrous the whole thing was. But, far too often, The Master became a generic crime show that just happened to feature martial arts.

The Master is finished and, to my surprise, I’m going to kind of miss it. It had potential. But, it’s time to move on to a new series. Get ready because next week, it’s time for T & T!

Cleaning Out The DVR: Urban Cowboy (dir by James Bridges)

Posted on September 29, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the 1980 film, Urban Cowboy. This was a film that had been sitting on my DVR for over a year. For some reason, I had never actually gotten around to watching it. There were many times when I started to watch it but I always ended up stopping after a few minutes. I was never quite sure why as everything that I had heard about the film was positive. Having finally watched it last night, I think I hesitated because I instinctively knew that John Travolta would look silly wearing a cowboy hat.

And let’s just be honest. He does. I mean, Travolta actually gives a fairly good performance in Urban Cowboy. He plays Bud, a kid from West Texas who moves to Houston so that he can work on an oil rig with his uncle, Bob (Barry Corbin). At first, he only wants to stay in Houston long enough to raise the money to buy some land back home. But, he soon falls in love with the Houston nightlife and the local country-western bar. (He’s Travolta so, of course, he can dance.) He also falls in love with and eventually marries Sissy (Debra Winger).

Travolta is believable as an impulsive young adult who might not be particularly smart but who makes up for it with a lot of determination. And he even does an okay job when it comes to capturing the country accent of West Texas. But that said, whenever he puts on that cowboy hat, the viewer is immediately reminded that Travolta is actually from New Jersey and probably never even attended a rodeo until he was cast in Urban Cowboy. The hat feels like an affectation, an attempt by a city boy to be more country as opposed to a country boy trying to hold onto his identity in the city. Ironically, the term “urban cowboy” has come to mean someone who, despite having never left the city, dresses like they’re heading out to herd the cattle and rope some steers. However, in the film itself, the hat is meant to be a natural part of Bud’s persona but it never quite feels that way.

Far more credible as a cowboy is a youngish Scott Glenn, who plays Wes Hightower. After Bud’s chauvinistic and abusive behavior drives Sissy away, she ends up with Wes. Wes teaches Sissy how to ride a mechanical bull, which is something Bud tried to forbid her from doing. Wes is confident and dangerously sexy and he can even make the fact that he lives in a run-down trailer work for him. Unfortunately, Wes also turns out to be even more controlling and abusive than Bud. Even though Bud still loves Sissy and Sissy still loves him, Bud soon hooks up with Pam (Madolyn Smith), the daughter of a wealthy oilman.

Many more complications follow and, of course, there’s one big tragedy that causes Bud to reexamine his life. Not surprisingly, the film’s conclusion all comes down to who can stay on that mechanical bull for the longest….

The best thing that Urban Cowboy has going for it is not Travolta or Glenn but instead, it’s Debra Winger, who gives a believable and relatable performance as Sissy, playing her as someone who may not have much but who refuses to surrender her pride. She knows that she deserves better than both Bud and Wes, even if she is hopelessly in love with one of them. Winger has chemistry with both Travolta and Scott Glenn, which makes the film’s love triangle feel like something more than just a typical story about a girl who can’t resist a bad boy. She grounds the film in reality and, as such, there are real stakes to the film’s story. Thanks to Winger, Urban Cowboy becomes about something more than just a fight over a mechanical bull.

The second best thing that Urban Cowboy has going for it is that it does manage to capture the atmosphere of a good country-and-western bar. It’s place where people go to relax after a hard day’s work. Unlike the discotheques that Travolta frequented in Saturday Night Fever, the bars in Urban Cowboy eschew glamour and artifice. Instead, they’re all about proving yourself not on the dance floor but on the back of a mechanical bull. For Sissy, the bull symbolizes freedom. For men like Bud and Wes, it symbolizes survival. Myself, I’m not a drinker so my bar experience is limited. And, though I may be from Texas and I spent a lot of time in the country while I was growing up, I’ve never been a fan of country music. That said, I’ve danced to a few country songs and I’ve certainly stopped by a few bars, even if I was usually the one who annoyed my family and friends by just asking for a glass of water. I’ve been to the rodeo and I’ve seen people get trampled. I’ve also seen a few people get tossed off a mechanical bull. I’ve never been on a mechanical bull myself but I did buy one for my Sims. (They loved it but, sadly, I had to get rid of it because they spent so much time riding it, they kept missing work and getting fired.) From my limited experience, I can say that Urban Cowboy got most of the details right. Even though it was made 42 years ago, it still feels authentic.

That said, Travolta still looks odd wearing a cowboy hat.

Major League (1989, dir. by David S. Ward) and Major League II (1994, dir. by David S. Ward)

Posted on June 29, 2020 by Dazzling Erin

I’m so excited that baseball’s back!

The 2020 regular season of Major League Baseball is going to start on July 22nd and it’s going to last until September 27th. The teams will play 60 games and the World Series will be held in October. It’s an abbreviated season but there was no way to avoid that. I’m just happy that there will at least be some games played this year.

Of course, as excited and happy as I am, I can’t deny that baseball almost always breaks my heart. Just a few years ago, I was so excited when a Texas team finally won the World Series. Later, we all found out that the Astros won because they cheated, which will forever taint both the legacy of the team and the MLB. It breaks my heart to say it but, as far as I’m concerned, no Texas team has yet to legitimately win the World Series.

And then there’s the Rangers. I’m a Rangers fan. I love the Rangers. I was so excited the two times that they made it to the World Series and I’ve never gotten over their loss to the Cardinals. (Their loss to the Giants I can accept because the Giants were a great team and they earned their wins. The Cardinals, on the other hand…) Ever since 2012, though, the Rangers have always broken my heart. It’s been a while since we’ve had a great Rangers season. At the start of every season, though, I say, “This is our season!” And no matter how badly things end, I always say, “Next season, we’re going all the way!”

I guess that’s why I love Major League.

Major League is the ultimate underdog baseball movie. It’s a film about a fictional version of the Cleveland Indians. Rachel Phelps (Margaret Whitton), the new owner of the Indians, wants to move the team to Miami but to do that, she’s going to need to have the worst season ever, one where the team plays so badly and breaks so many hearts that even the most loyal fans stop coming to the games. It shouldn’t be too hard since the Indians have’t even won a pennant in over 30 years. But to make sure that it happens and that the team only wins 15 games over the entire season, Phelps recruits the worst players she can find.

The team that she puts together is made up of has-beens and never-weres. Some of them have raw talent but none of them know how to play as a team. Ex-con Ricky Vaughn (Charlie Sheen) has a killer fastball but is so near-sighted that he’s a danger whenever he steps on the mound. Catcher Jake Taylor (Tom Berenger) is a veteran team leader but his knees are so bad that he can barely walk. Willie Mays Hayes (Wesley Snipes) is fast but can’t hit worth a damn. Pedro Cerrano (Dennis Haysbert) can hit home runs but only if the pitcher throws him a fastball. Just as Rachel expected, the team struggles at first. Even when they start to show signs of improvement, she cut back on their budget and sells their equipment, all to try to make winning impossible. It’s only when their manager, ex-drywall salesman Lou Brown (James Gammon), tells them that Rachel wants them to lose that the team comes together and starts to win.

Everything that’s great about baseball can be found in Major League. I love all the scenes with the fans slowly coming around to believing that maybe the Indians actually could win it all. I’ve been through that so many times with the Rangers that I know exactly how they all felt. I love the interactions between all the players on the team, from the new players eager to win to the veterans who just want to survive another season. I love the scenes with the play-by-play announcer (Bob Uecker) trying to put a good spin on the way the team plays. (All together: “Just a bit outside!”) And mostly, I love that the film treats the game and its players with the respect that they deserve. So many other films would have turned a character like born-again pitcher Eddie Harris (Chelcie Ross) into a punchline. Instead, in Major League, he gets a standing ovation after he pitches his last game. The best thing about Major League is that it loves baseball, both the games and the players.

Since Major League was a success at the box office, it was eventually followed by a sequel, Major League II.

Major League II picks up the season after the first movie ended and it tells the exact same story as the first film, just not as well. Almost everyone from the first film is back (though Omar Epps takes over the role of Willie Mays Hayes from Wesley Snipes) but the charm and the chemistry from the first movie just aren’t there. The players have to set aside their egos and learn how to play like a team all over again. The main difference between the two movies is that it takes a lot longer for the Indians to start winning in the sequel than in the first film. Plus, the sequel just isn’t as funny.

Even if the sequel is a let down, the first Major League is still one of the best baseball movies ever made. If the Indians could win the pennant in Major League, maybe there’s hope for my Rangers yet!

Cinemax Friday: Hard Vice (1994, directed by Joey Travolta)

Posted on March 13, 2020 by Jedadiah Leland

Who doesn’t love some Hard Vice?

Someone’s killing businessman in Las Vegas and it’s up to the vice squad to figure out who. Captain Bronski (James Gammon) knows that his cops are going to need some help so he brings in a detective named Joe (Sam J. Jones). Joe is a tough-talking, hard-drinking modern day cowboy who even owns a hat. He doesn’t think that women should be investigating major crimes and that brings him into conflict with his new partners, especially Andrea (Shannon Tweed).

Despite not being happy about having to work together, Joe and Andrea put aside their differences long enough to investigate the murders and fall in love. They discover that all of the men used the same escort service. Could the murderer be a pimp named Tony (Branscombe Richmond, who played Bobby Sixkiller on Renegade) or could it be a renegade prostitute (played by Rebecca FerattI) who is called Christy in the movie but who is listed as being named Allison in the end credits? Or could it be someone closer to the vice squad?

Hard Vice is a typical late night Cinemax crime movie, heavy on the neon and the synthesized music but light on unexpected plot twists. There are still a few things about the movie that set it apart from other movies of the era. First off, this movie features a man armed only with a handgun managing to blow up a helicopter. Secondly, even though the film is set in the 90s, the vice squad is stuck using bulky computers from the 80s and the scene where they use the computer to look up information on the victims has to be seen to be believed. Finally, any movie that brings Shannon Tweed and Rebecca Feratti together is worthy of a little appreciation. Toss in Sam J. Jones and James Gammon sounding like he’s been smoking six packs of cigarettes a day and you’ve got a film that’s almost worth watching.

Hard Vice was directed by Joey Travolta, who is best known for being John’s younger brother. This was the first film he ever directed and, checking with the imdb, I was surprised to discover that he’s directed a lot more since. Joey’s direction in Hard Vice isn’t that bad, though Las Vegas is one of those cities where it’s probably impossible not to come up with an interesting shot or two if you’re filming there. Travolta tosses in a few flash forwards to make sure that we know we’re watching a real film and not just your run-of-the-mill neo-noir. They don’t add much to the plot but when you’re trying to establish your auteur credentials, I guess you do what you have to do.

Insomnia File #42: Revenge (dir by Tony Scott)

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

Earlier today, If you were having trouble getting to sleep around one in the morning, you could have turned over to TCM and watched the 1990 action film, Revenge.

Revenge is an almost absurdly masculine film about two men who are in love with the same woman and who, as a result, end up trying to kill each other and a lot of other people.

Jay Cochran (Kevin Costner) is a U.S. Navy aviator who, when we first see him, is doing the whole Top Gun thing of flying in a fast jet and making jokes while his navigator worries about dying. Interestingly enough, Top Gun and Revenge were both directed by Tony Scott so perhaps this opening scene was meant to be a self-reference. Well, regardless of intent, it’s a scene that goes on forever. This is Jay’s last flight, as he’s due to retire. We go through an extended retirement party, where everyone has a beer and Jay gives one of those bullshit sentimental speeches that men always give in films like this.

Jay has been invited to estate of Tibbey (Anthony Quinn), who is a Mexican gangster. Tibbey and Jay are apparently old friends, though it’s never quite explained how the youngish Jay knows the not-very-youngish Tibbey. Tibbey is one of those gangster who is incapable of doing anything without first talking about what an amazing journey it’s been, going from poverty to becoming one of the most powerful men in Mexico.

Tibbey apparently wants to play tennis with Jay and take him hunting. Jay decides that he’d rather have an affair with Tibbey’s much younger wife, Miryea (Madeleine Stowe). Miryea is upset that Tibbey doesn’t want to have children because he feels that pregnancy would ruin her body. When Tibbey finds out about the affair, he sends Miryea to a brothel and Jay to the middle of the desert. That’s Tibbey’s revenge!

Except, of course, Jay doesn’t die because he’s Kevin Costner and if he died, the movie would end too quickly. So, Jay fights his way back from the desert, intent on not only finding Miryea but getting his own revenge on Tibbey!

(It’s hard to take a bad guy named Tibbey seriously, even if he is played by Anthony Quinn.)

Revenge goes on for way too long and neither Tibbey nor Jay are really sympathetic enough to be compelling characters. You never really believe in Tibbey and Jay’s friendship, so the whole betrayal and revenge aspect of the film just falls flat. On the plus side, youngish Kevin Costner is not half as annoying as cranky old man Costner. Anthony Quinn was one of the actors who was considered for the role of Don Corleone in The Godfather and, watching him here, you can kind of see him in the role. He would have been a bit of a crude Corleone but Quinn had an undeniably powerful and magnetic screen presence. In Revenge, Quinn chews up and spits out all of the scenery and is not subtle at all but it’s entertaining to watch him because he’s Anthony Quinn.

Anyway, Revenge ends with a tragedy, as these things often do. Anthony Quinn never says, “Revenge is a dish best served cold,” and that, to me, is a true missed opportunity.

Previous Insomnia Files:

Playing Catch-Up: Crisscross, The Dust Factory, Gambit, In The Arms of a Killer, Overboard, Shy People

Posted on April 27, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, this year I am making a sincere effort to review every film that I see. I know I say that every year but this time, I really mean it.

So, in an effort to catch up, here are four quick reviews of some of the movies that I watched over the past few weeks!

Crisscross
Released: 1992
Directed by Chris Menges
Starring David Arnott, Goldie Hawn, Arliss Howard, Keith Carradine, James Gammon, Steve Buscemi

An annoying kid named Chris Cross (David Arnott) tells us the story of his life.

In the year 1969, Chris and his mother, Tracy (Goldie Hawn), are living in Key West. While the rest of the country is excitedly watching the first moon landing, Chris and Tracy are just trying to figure out how to survive day-to-day. Tracy tries to keep her son from learning that she’s working as a stripper but, not surprisingly, he eventually finds out. Chris comes across some drugs that are being smuggled into Florida and, wanting to help his mother, he decides to steal them and sell them himself. Complicating matters is the fact that the members of the drug ring (one of whom is played by Steve Buscemi) don’t want the competition. As well, Tracy is now dating Joe (Arliss Howard), who just happens to be an undercover cop. And, finally, making things even more difficult is the fact that Chris just isn’t that smart.

There are actually a lot of good things to be said about Crisscross. The film was directed by the renowned cinematographer, Chris Menges, so it looks great. Both Arliss Howard and Goldie Hawn give sympathetic performances and Keith Carradine has a great cameo as Chris’s spaced out dad. (Traumatized by his experiences in Vietnam, Chris’s Dad left his family and joined a commune.) But, as a character, Chris is almost too stupid to be believed and his overwrought narration doesn’t do the story any good. Directed and written with perhaps a less heavy hand, Crisscross could have been a really good movie but, as it is, it’s merely an interesting misfire.

The Dust Factory
Released: 2004
Directed by Eric Small
Starring Armin Mueller-Stahl, Hayden Panettiere, Ryan Kelly, Kim Myers, George de la Pena, Michael Angarano, Peter Horton

Ryan (Ryan Kelly) is a teen who stopped speaking after his father died. One day, Ryan falls off a bridge and promptly drowns. However, he’s not quite dead yet! Instead, he’s in The Dust Factory, which is apparently where you go when you’re on the verge of death. It’s a very nice place to hang out while deciding whether you want to leap into the world of the dead or return to the land of the living. Giving Ryan a tour of the Dust Factory is his grandfather (Armin Mueller-Stahl). Suggesting that maybe Ryan should just stay in the Dust Factory forever is a girl named Melanie (Hayden Panettiere). Showing up randomly and acting like a jerk is a character known as The Ringmaster (George De La Pena). Will Ryan choose death or will he return with a new zest for living life? And, even more importantly, will the fact that Ryan’s an unlikely hockey fan somehow play into the film’s climax?

The Dust Factory is the type of unabashedly sentimental and theologically confused film that just drives me crazy. This is one of those films that so indulges every possible cliché that I was shocked to discover that it wasn’t based on some obscure YA tome. I’m sure there’s some people who cry while watching this film but ultimately, it’s about as deep as Facebook meme.

Gambit
Released: 2012
Directed by Michael Hoffman
Starring Colin Firth, Cameron Diaz, Alan Rickman, Tom Courtenay, Stanley Tucci, Cloris Leachman, Togo Igawa

Harry Deane (Colin Firth) is beleaguered art collector who, for the sake of petty revenge (which, as we all know, is the best type of revenge), tries to trick the snobbish Lord Shabandar (Alan Rickman) into spending a lot of money on a fake Monet. To do this, he will have to team up with both an eccentric art forger (Tom Courtenay) and a Texas rodeo star named PJ Puznowksi (Cameron Diaz). The plan is to claim that PJ inherited the fake Monet from her grandfather who received the painting from Hermann Goering at the end of the World War II and…

Well, listen, let’s stop talking about the plot. This is one of those elaborate heist films where everyone has a silly name and an elaborate back story. It’s also one of those films where everything is overly complicated but not particularly clever. The script was written by the Coen Brothers and, if they had directed it, they would have at least brought some visual flair to the proceedings. Instead, the film was directed by Michael Hoffman and, for the most part, it falls flat. The film is watchable because of the cast but ultimately, it’s not surprising that Gambit never received a theatrical release in the States.

On a personal note, I saw Gambit while Jeff & I were in London last month. So, I’ll always have good memories of watching the movie. So I guess the best way to watch Gambit is when you’re on vacation.

In The Arms of a Killer
Released: 1992
Directed by Robert L. Collins
Starring Jaclyn Smith, John Spencer, Nina Foch, Gerald S. O’Loughlin, Sandahl Bergman, Linda Dona, Kristoffer Tabori, Michael Nouri

This is the story of two homicide detectives. Detective Vincent Cusack (John Spencer) is tough and cynical and world-weary. Detective Maria Quinn (Jaclyn Smith) is dedicated and still naive about how messy a murder investigation can be when it involves a bunch of Manhattan socialites. A reputed drug dealer is found dead during a party. Apparently, someone intentionally gave him an overdose of heroin. Detective Cusack thinks that the culprit was Dr. Brian Venible (Michael Nouri). Detective Quinn thinks that there has to be some other solution. Complicating things is that Quinn and Venible are … you guessed it … lovers! Is Quinn truly allowing herself to be held in the arms of a killer or is the murderer someone else?

This sound like it should have been a fun movie but instead, it’s all a bit dull. Nouri and Smith have next to no chemistry so you never really care whether the doctor is the killer or not. John Spencer was one of those actors who was pretty much born to play world-weary detectives but, other than his performance, this is pretty forgettable movie.

Overboard
Released: 1987
Directed by Garry Marshall
Starring Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Edward Herrmann, Katherine Helmond, Roddy McDowall, Michael G. Hagerty, Brian Price, Jared Rushton, Hector Elizondo

When a spoiled heiress named Joanne Slayton (Goldie Hawn) falls off of her luxury yacht, no one seems to care. Even when her husband, Grant (Edward Herrmann), discovers that Joanne was rescued by a garbage boat and that she now has amnesia, he denies knowing who she is. Instead, he takes off with the boat and proceeds to have a good time. The servants (led by Roddy McDowall) who Joanne spent years terrorizing are happy to be away from her. In fact, the only person who does care about Joanne is Dean Proffitt (Kurt Russell). When Dean sees a news report about a woman suffering from amnesia, he heads over to the hospital and declares that Joanne is his wife, Annie.

Convinced that she is Annie, Joanne returns with Dean to his messy house and his four, unruly sons. At first, Dean says that his plan is merely to have Joanne work off some money that she owes him. (Before getting amnesia, Joanne refused to pay Dean for some work he did on her boat.) But soon, Joanne bonds with Dean’s children and she and Dean start to fall in love. However, as both Grant and Dean are about to learn, neither parties nor deception can go on forever…

This is one of those films that’s pretty much saved by movie star charisma. The plot itself is extremely problematic and just about everything that Kurt Russell does in this movie would land him in prison in real life. However, Russell and Goldie Hawn are such a likable couple that the film come close to overcoming its rather creepy premise. Both Russell and Hawn radiate so much charm in this movie that they can make even the stalest of jokes tolerable and it’s always enjoyable to watch Roddy McDowall get snarky. File this one under “Kurt Russell Can Get Away With Almost Anything.”

A remake of Overboard, with the genders swapped, is set to be released in early May.

Shy People
Released: 1987
Directed by Andrei Konchalovsky
Starring Jill Clayburgh, Barbara Hershey, Martha Plimpton, Merritt Butrick, John Philbin, Don Swayze, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Mare Winningham

Diana Sullivan (Jill Clayburgh) is a writer for Cosmopolitan and she’s got a problem! It turns out that her teenager daughter, Grace (Martha Plimpton), is skipping school and snorting cocaine! OH MY GOD! (And, to think, I thought I was a rebel just because I used to skip Algebra so I could go down to Target and shoplift eyeliner!) Diana knows that she has to do something but what!?

Diana’s solution is to get Grace out of New York. It turns out that Diana has got some distant relatives living in Louisiana bayou. After Cosmo commissions her to write a story about them, Diana grabs Grace and the head down south!

(Because if there’s anything that the readers of Cosmo are going to be interested in, it’s white trash bayou dwellers…)

The only problem is that Ruth (Barbara Hershey) doesn’t want to be interviewed and she’s not particularly happy when Diana and Grace show up. Ruth and her four sons live in the bayous. Three of the sons do whatever Ruth tells them to do. The fourth son is often disobedient so he’s been locked up in a barn. Diana, of course, cannot understand why her relatives aren’t impressed whenever she mentions that she writes for Cosmo. Meanwhile, Grace introduces her cousins to cocaine, which causes them to go crazy. “She’s got some strange white powder!” one of them declares.

So, this is a weird film. On the one hand, you have an immensely talented actress like Jill Clayburgh giving one of the worst performances in cinematic history. (In Clayburgh’s defense, Diana is such a poorly written character that I doubt any actress could have made her in any way believable.) On the other hand, you have Barbara Hershey giving one of the best. As played by Hershey, Ruth is a character who viewers will both fear and admire. Ruth has both the inner strength to survive in the bayou and the type of unsentimental personality that lets you know that you don’t want to cross her. I think we’re supposed to feel that both Diana and Ruth have much to learn from each other but Diana is such an annoying character that you spend most of the movie wishing she would just go away and leave Ruth alone. In the thankless role of Grace, Martha Plimpton brings more depth to the role than was probably present in the script and Don Swayze has a few memorable moments as one of Ruth’s sons. Shy People is full of flaws and never really works as a drama but I’d still recommend watching it for Hershey and Plimpton.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Women of San Quentin (dir by William A. Graham)

Posted on September 23, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of cleaning out her DVR! She’s got over 170 films to watch before the end of 2017! Will she make it? Who knows? She recorded 1983’s Women of San Quentin off of Retroplex on January 25th.)

For some reason, back in January, I felt the need to record several prison movies off of cable. I’m not sure where my mind was at that I would see a title like Women of San Quentin listed in the guide and think to myself, “That’s something I definitely need to record.” Maybe I was thinking of pursuing a career as a prison guard. That seems to be the easiest way to get a show on A&E nowadays.

Anyway, I imagine that anyone reading this review is looking that title and considering the VHS cover art and they’re probably assuming that Women of San Quentin is some sort of Cirio Santiago-directed women in prison film. And then consider the film’s cast: Amy Steel is best known for Friday the 13th Part II and April Fool’s Day. Stella Stevens is an exploitation film vet. One of the prisoners is played by Rockne Tarkington, who starred in a handful of blaxploitation films. William Sanderson, star of the infamous Fight For Your Life, has a small role. Yaphet Kotto plays a prison guard here but he’s best known for playing the villain in Live and Let Die. Gregg Henry plays a sociopath. Hector Elizondo and Debbie Allen play sympathetic guards. Even Ernie Hudson, a now-respectable actor with several less-than-savory films on his resume, shows up. Finally, consider this: Women of San Quentin was written by Larry Cohen, the man who directed both Black Caesar and It’s Alive.

However, despite all of that, Women of San Quentin is not an exploitation film. Instead, it’s a made-for-TV movie. (Director William A. Graham has over a hundred TV shows and made-for-TV movies to his credit.) It follows several storylines. Lt. Janet Alexander (Stella Stevens) is the tough-but-fair captain who is in charge of one of San Quentin’s most intimidating cell blocks. She’s great at her job and she has a vaguely romantic relationship with Hector Elizondo but she’s also tempted to find a new career. Charles Wilson (Ernie Hudson) steps up to lead the prison’s black inmates after another activist is assassinated. Meanwhile, the leader of the Mexican Mafia plots a prison riot and Yaphet Kotto and Debbie Allen use any means necessary to discover what’s going to happen.

And then there’s Liz Larson (Amy Steel), the newest prison guard who struggles to prove that she belongs in San Quentin. Sexist colleagues play cruel pranks on her. The prisoners shout at her whenever she walks past their cells. When she has to use a gun to break up a fight, she hesitates just a second too long. Will she be able to step up when real trouble breaks out? Among horror fans, Amy Steel is remembered for “surviving” several slasher films. (Her performance as Ginny in Friday the 13th Part 2 largely set the standard for which all final girls are judged.) Steel does a pretty good job as Liz but, actually, the entire movie is well-acted. The script is frequently rudimentary but the cast is full of unique talent and it’s always fun to watch so many good actors playing opposite each other.

I assume that the Women of San Quentin was meant to be a pilot for a TV show or something. It just has that feel to it. If just for the cast alone, I would recommend watching Women of San Quentin if you get a chance. I’m as surprised as anyone but, after all, where else are going to get a chance to watch Hector Elizondo, Yaphet Kotto, Stella Stevens, and Amy Steel all hanging out in a bar together? There are certain opportunities that you just don’t miss.

A Movie A Day #219: Wild Bill (1995, directed by Walter Hill)

Posted on August 15, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

The year is 1876 and the legendary Wild Bill Hickok (Jeff Bridges) sits in a saloon in Deadwood and thinks about his life (most of which is seen in high-resolution, black-and-white flashbacks). Hickok was a renowned lawman and a sure shot, a man whose exploits made him famous across the west. Thanks to his friend, Buffalo Bill Cody (Keith Carradine), he even appeared on the New York stage and reenacted some of his greatest gun battles. Now, Hickok is aging. He is 39 years old, an old man by the standards of his profession. Though men like Charlie Prince (John Hurt) and California Joe (James Gammon) continue to spread his legend, Hickok is going blind and spends most of his time in a haze of opium and regret.

Hickok only has one true friend in Deadwood, Calamity Jane (Ellen Barkin). He also has one true enemy, an aspiring gunslinger named Jack McCall (David Arquette). McCall approaches Hickok and announces that he is going to kill him because of the way that Hickok treated his mother (played, in flashback, by Diane Lane). Hickok does not do much to dissuade him.

Based on both a book and a play, Wild Bill is a talky and idiosyncratic Western from Walter Hill. Hill is less interested in Hickok as a gunfighter than Hickok as an early celebrity. There are gunfights but they only happen because, much like John Wayne in The Shootist, Hickok has become so famous that he cannot go anywhere without someone taking a shot at him. Almost the entire final half of Wild Bill is set in that saloon, with Hickok and a gallery of character actors talking about the past and wondering about the future.

At times, Wild Bill gets bogged down with all the dialogue and philosophizing. (To quote The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly: “When you have to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk.”) Luckily, the film is saved by an intriguing cast, led by Jeff Bridges. In many ways, his performance was Wild Bill feels like an audition for his later performance in True Grit. David Arquette is intensely weird as the jumpy Jack McCall and Ellen Barkin brings the film’s only underwritten role, Calamity Jane, to life. Smaller roles are played by everyone from Bruce Dern to James Remar to Marjoe Gortner.

United Artist made the mistake of trying to sell Wild Bill as being a straight western, which led to confused audiences and a resounding flop at the box office. Ironically, years after the release of Wild Bill, Walter Hill won an Emmy for directing the first episode of HBO’s Deadwood, an episode the featured Wild Bill cast member Keith Carradine in the role of Hickok.

A Movie A Day #217: Wyatt Earp (1994, directed by Lawrence Kasdan)

Posted on August 13, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Once upon a time, there were two movies about the legendary Western lawman (or outlaw, depending on who is telling the story) Wyatt Earp. One came out in 1993 and the other came out in 1994.

The 1993 movie was called Tombstone. That is the one that starred Kurt Russell was Wyatt, with Sam Elliott and Bill Paxton in the roles of his brothers and Val Kilmer playing Doc Holliday. Tombstone deals with the circumstances that led to the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral. “I’m your huckleberry,” Doc Holliday says right before his gunfight with Michael Biehn’s Johnny Ringo. Tombstone is the movie that everyone remembers.

The 1994 movies was called Wyatt Earp. This was a big budget extravaganza that was directed by Lawrence Kasdan and starred Kevin Costner as Wyatt. Dennis Quaid played Doc Holliday and supporting roles were played by almost everyone who was an active SAG member in 1994. If they were not in Tombstone, they were probably in Wyatt Earp. Gene Hackman, Michael Madsen, Tom Sizemore, Jeff Fahey, Mark Harmon, Annabeth Gish, Gene Hackman, Bill Pullman, Isabella Rossellini, JoBeth Williams, Mare Winningham, and many others all appeared as supporting characters in the (very) long story of Wyatt Earp’s life.

Of course, Wyatt Earp features the famous Gunfight at the O.K. Corral but it also deals with every other chapter of Earp’s life, including his multiple marriages, his career as a buffalo hunter, and his time as a gold prospector. With a three-hour running time, there is little about Wyatt Earp’s life that is not included. Unfortunately, with the exception of his time in Tomstone, Wyatt Earp’s life was not that interesting. Neither was Kevin Costner’s performance. Costner tried to channel Gary Cooper in his performance but Cooper would have known better than to have starred in a slowly paced, three-hour movie. The film is so centered around Costner and his all-American persona that, with the exception of Dennis Quaid, the impressive cast is wasted in glorified cameos. Wyatt Earp the movie tries to be an elegy for the old west but neither Wyatt Earp as a character nor Kevin Costner’s performance was strong enough to carry such heavy symbolism. A good western should never be boring and that is a rule that Wyatt Earp breaks from the minute that Costner delivers his first line.

Costner was originally cast in Tombstone, just to leave the project so he could produce his own Wyatt Earp film. As a big, Oscar-winnng star, Costner went as far as to try to have production of Tombstone canceled. Ironically, Tombstone turned out to be the film that everyone remember while Wyatt Earp is the film that most people want to forget.

Back to School #19: The Pom Pom Girls (dir by Joseph Ruben)

Posted on August 27, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Pom Pom Girls was released in 1976, the same year as Massacre at Central High. It also features two actors who made quite an impression in Central High — Robert Carradine and Rainbeaux Smith. However, that is where the similarities end because, whereas Central High was a political allegory disguised as an exploitation film, The Pom Pom Girls is an almost prototypical 70s teen comedy. Whereas Central High was all about subtext, The Pom Pom Girls has no subtext. Try to look between the lines of The Pom Pom Girls and all you’ll find is blank space. And, finally, while Central High remains a difficult film to see, I’ve lost track of how many of my Mill Creek box sets include The Pom Pom Girls.

The Pom Pom Girls is about … well, close to nothing. Johnnie (Robert Carradine) and Jesse (Michael Mullins) are students at Rosewood High School in California. Because the film was made in 1976, they spend most of their time driving around in a van and listening to MOR radio stations. Johnnie and Jesse are also star football players, which is one of the odd things about the film because, while Carradine is genuinely likeable and Mullins makes for a plausible sullen high school student, neither one of them comes across as if they could be football players. The big game comes up against rival Hardin High, so there’s a prank war that involves a little more nudity than the ones on Saved By The Bell ever did. Johnnie and Jesse also have girlfriends, both of whom are cheerleaders. Jesse cheats on his girlfriend but apparently, the audience is supposed to sympathize with him because she refused to go to the beach with him. Johnnie, meanwhile, has a leather jacket-wearing nemesis named Duane (Bill Adler), who is upset because Johnnie is dating his ex. As often happens, it all ends with a recreation of the famous “chicken run” from Rebel Without A Cause. We watch a car explode from three different angles. In order to leave you with some suspense, I will not mention whether anyone was in the car.

You’re welcome.

And a fun time was by all…

One of the strange things about The Pom Pom Girls is that while the two main characters and their girlfriends are all presented as being rebels, they’re also presented as being the most popular kids in school. Johnnie and Jesse are the captains of the football team. They’re dating the captains of the cheerleading squad. Despite the movie’s attempts to convince us otherwise, these people are not rebels fighting the establishment. Instead, they are the establishment. This is actually something that The Pom Pom Girls has in common with Richard Linklater’s far superior Dazed and Confused. The difference, however, is that Dazed and Confused actually calls its character out on the hypocricy of their posturing while The Pom Pom Girls just tries to have the best of both worlds. Johnnie is both a star football player and the class clown who breaks the rules. Jesse is both a great team player and an angry individualist. I guess that’s the 70s for you.

He owns a van. It has shag carpeting and a strobe light.

Back in high school, I was often asked to try out for cheerleading but I never did. For one thing, I didn’t see why I should have to try out when they could have just easily approached me and said, “Hi, will you please be the new head cheerleader?” Even beyond that, I couldn’t stand the idea of always having to be happy. And, perhaps most importantly, my sister was already a cheerleader and I wanted to establish my own thing. However, I still made Erin watch The Pom Pom Girls with me and I asked her if the film was a realistic portrait of high school cheerleading. In response, she rolled her eyes which I believe was her way of saying no.

But, even if it isn’t exactly Bring It On, The Pom Pom Girls still does have some worth as a time capsule of the clothing, attitudes, and vans of the 70s. To be honest, that’s probably the only thing of value that The Pom Pom Girls has to offer because, otherwise, it’s basically a film about a likable guy who spends all of his time hanging out with a guy who will literally not stop whining about being a football player and how nobody is willing to go to the beach with him.

Incidentally, The Pom Pom Girls was released by Crown International Pictures. Much like the company’s previous film, The Young Graduates, the main message here appears to be that the 70s kind of sucked.