“G.I. Joe is the code name for America’s daring, highly trained special mission force. Its purpose: to defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world!”
Actually, you only thought that Cobra was a ruthless terrorist organization. In G.I. Joe: The Movie, it is revealed that Cobra is actually the brainchild of Golobulus (voiced by Burgess Meredith), a human/serpent hybrid who is the ruler of Cobra-La, an ancient civilization hidden away in the Himalayas. Golobulus not only recruited Cobra Commander, but his servant Pythona implanted the dream that led to Dr. Mindbender creating the Cobra Emperor. Despite having the power to do all that, Golobulus still has to steal G.I. Joe’s latest weapon so that he can launch and open a bunch of space spores that will turn all of humanity into snakes. It’s up to G.I. Joe to stop them. Everyone thinks that new recruit Falcon (Don Johnson) is just Duke’s irresponsible kid brother, so, of course, it will be up to him to save the day.
G.I. Joe: The Movie is actually not bad as far as 1980s animation is concerned. Cobra-La may have a silly name, but it’s a memorable location, and the scenes involving Cobra Commander being put on trial while trapped in a giant Venus flytrap are actually pretty impressive. Cobra Commander was turned into a snake in this movie, and his hissing “I was a man” is a hundred times more effective than it should have been. Since the original G.I. Joe animated series was canceled around the same time this was released, G.I. Joe: The Movie actually does wrap up the show. After fighting an ancient civilization of flying monsters and talking serpents, what was really left for G.I. Joe to do?
There are a lot of battle scenes and, again, no one dies. Originally, that wasn’t the plan. When G.I. Joe: The Movie was animated, Duke was killed while saving his brother’s life. However, when Transformers: The Movie underperformed at the box office, it was decided to release G.I. Joe: The Movie straight to video and not to kill off anyone in the cast. Dialogue was added to indicate that Duke was actually just severely injured, despite the fact that he obviously died in battle. In the movie, Duke passes out and everyone looks away with tears in their eyes. Falcon defeats Cobra-La and then says, “That was for you, brother,” while looking up at the star-filled sky. It was just a flesh wound!
No matter what else might be said, the animated G.I. Joe: The Movie was better than any of the live-action films that came out thirty years later.
With movies like Top Gun, Labyrinth and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off already out, the summer would give us Big Trouble in Little China, Aliens, & The Fly (Which at one point you could catch as a double feature with Aliens). The two best announcements at home were that a new baby was on the way and Transformers: The Movie was coming out. By August, we knew the baby would be a boy and a name was already set aside for him. We were naming him after a fallen Officer who was a friend of my father’s on the Force.
Impending older brotherhood was nice, but for 11 year old me, it all took a backseat to the Death of Optimus Prime. Up until then, the most shocking fictional event we had in school was either Return of the Jedi closing the book on Star Wars some years prior, K.I.T.T. getting destroyed (and rebuilt with Super Turbo Boost) in Knight Rider, or Rico losing Angelina in a car bomb during the Season Finale of Miami Vice just a few months back.
I didn’t get a chance to see Transformers: The Movie during the film’s initial run, simply because there wasn’t anyone at home who wanted to sit through it with me. My older brother, through other means, managed to score a VHS copy of the film within the first week or so of its theatrical release. I watched and re-watched that video so many times, and would even pause it to try to draw some of the characters. Eventually, I was able to catch a re-release for the film’s 30th Anniversary.
After two full seasons of the show, Transformers: The Movie was basically Hasbro’s way of cleaning house from the 1984 Generation 1 toy line to introduce a new set. The show sold figures, and the hopes were that the film would do the same. Granted, there were already a large number of Transformers to work with by the time the movie came out. With nearly 50 Autobots and about 35 Decepticons to choose from, the film focused on a few, such as the Insecticons, Dinobots and some of the G1 favorites like Soundwave, Starscream, Jazz & Bumblebee. The Constructicons (and Devestator)were the only group set to be featured in the movie. The Stunticons & Aerialbots would sit this one out. Hasbro really didn’t care too much about the impact of any of these changes on the movie’s plot. While most of the trailers asked “Does Optimus Die?”, their toy commercial line already introduced Rodimus Prime.
Produced by De Laurentiis Entertainment Group (Near Dark, Blue Velvet), Transformers: The Movie takes us to the future of 2005. The Autobots and Decepticons are still fighting it out, with a few changes in the war. The Decepticons own the Transformers home planet of Cybertron, but the Autobots have control of two of Cybertron’s Moons and a city on Earth. Lead by Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen, Eeyore on The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh), the plan is get back to Earth and then handle the Decepticons from there. Of course, the Decepticons and their leader, Megatron (Frank Welker, The Golden Child) find out about this and intercept an Autobot shuttle, outright killing classic show staples Prowl, Brawn, Rachet and Ironhide. I can’t imagine what it was like to be a kid, bring your favorite toy to the movies, only to see the character it’s based on killed on screen. To make things worse, a planet eating transformer named Unicron threatens both parties, including Cybertron. Can Unicron be stopped?
It wasn’t a total loss. We were introduced to new Autobots in the rookie Hot Rod (Judd Nelson, The Breakfast Club), the war hero Kup (Lionel Stander, TV’s Hart to Hart), the fast talking Blurr (John Moschitta, Jr., Dick Tracy), would be leader Ultra Magnus (Robert Stack, Airplane), an Autobot First Lady in Arcee (Susan Blu), and Triple Changer Springer (Neil Ross). The two most famous vocal additions were Leonard Nimoy (Invasion of the Body Snatchers) the new Deception leader Galvatron and Orson Welles (The Third Man) as Unicron. As a kid, it was pretty awesome to know that both Spock and the “No Wine Before It’s Time” guy were joining in all of this. It made Transformers seem a bit larger. My parents would point out that Orson Welles was “the” Orson Welles, but as Citizen Kane wasn’t on my radar (despite my Dad owning and watching it), I associated him with Wine commercials. To both their credit, Nimoy and Welles did just fine with their vocal talents.
While the animation for Transformers was never fantastic, the movie was a bit of an improvement. It never quite reached the levels of anime films like Fist of the North Star & Golgo 13: The Professional. The Soundtrack was ultimately where the film shined, with a mix of rock music from bands like Lion and Stan Bush and a score by Vince DiCola. Coming off of Staying Alive and Rocky IV, DiCola’s work on Transformers: The Movie was great, and remains a go to album for me when music is needed for a situation.
The Death of Optimus Prime was a bit of a shock to the audiences that saw (and cared about) it. Hasbro would eventually bring Prime back temporarily as a Zombie in an episode of the show’s 3rd Season, and then again to lead in the season’s 2 part finale, “The Return of Optimus Prime”.
After seeing the film, I asked me parents for some of the movie based Transformers. Christmas was put on hold by my Mom as she went into labor around Christmas Eve. I was able to open just one gift before Christmas. This happened to be a Hot Rod figure that I found in a toy store back in November, which was quickly snatched and wrapped for the Christmas Pile before I could get to open it. She had my little brother on Christmas Morning, and we eventually celebrated the holiday half a week later. Bless her heart, she gave me almost the entire Movie line – Galvatron, Rodimus Prime, Springer, Cyclonus, and the Predacons (who weren’t in the movie). Playing with them took a backseat to diaper detail, but hey, that Christmas was one of the best.
Overall, Transformers: The Movie is one of those films I happily return to from time to time. It’s not incredible in any major way, but it takes me back to one element of a magical year.
“G.I. Joe is the code name for America’s daring, highly trained special mission force. Its purpose: to defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world!”
