Supermen dönüyor/The Return Of Superman (1979, dir. Kunt Tulgar)

Posted on July 15, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

Seeing as so many franchises are being continued this year and the next, I thought it would be fun to look at some of the knockoff and parodies of these films. I already covered Lady Terminator. While that was from Indonesia with American actors, this is from that glorious land of Hollywood blockbuster ripoffs: Turkey. People probably just refer to this as Turkish Superman and that’s fine because it came out the very next year after the Christopher Reeve film. However, I’ve done some poking around and I think I’ve found five other Turkish films with Superman or just the Flying Man. I believe I even found one that combines Superman and Batman into a single superhero. I hope I can find subtitles for that one.

By the way, see how Superman stands like he’s a living wall. Get used to it because you will see it a lot. He will frequently just stand there, take it, then quickly dispose of whoever has decided to waste their time trying to bring him down.

This Turkish Superman begins with Christmas ornaments against a black background. It’s supposed to be space, but they’re Christmas ornaments. Just look at them.

Superman comes from a Christmas ornament.

One of these ornaments is Krypton. It’s destroyed when “gasses that mixed suddenly caused explosions and wiped it out of the Universe.” Superman is sent away to make his way to Earth. Then Tayfun comes home to his family. In this one Clark Kent is a man named Tayfun. In short order, his family tells him how they found him and give him a green stone. He says he kind of already knew because this Superman is psychic. He types using telekinesis, but that’s later on. Now Superman sets off to follow where the stone leads him. It leads him into some Turkish caves that almost look like abandoned mines. Then a far cry from Marlon Brando appears to tell Superman he is his son.

Brando?

Yeah, he does also say he is Superman. I don’t think it’s the subtitles because he then goes on to talk about being from a race of Supermen. Don’t get me wrong, there are some issues with the subtitles. Tayfun smells his Mom’s food, says it’s great, then says I feel like starving. Papa Superman then lays out just how “strong, mighty, and virtuous” Superman is. Here it goes:

“The genious of King Solomon.
Hercules’ might…
Atlas patience…
Zeus’ health…
Achilles’ courage…
Mercury’s speed.”

These are your qualities says Papa Superman. What happened to faster than a speeding bullet and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Well, he can fly and he’s at least as fast as a speeding boat.

Thought it looked fake when Christopher Reeve flew? Look again. Now come the Lex Luthors. That’s right, there are two of them who work together. One is the main man and the other is his second. In this Superman the destruction of Krypton is known about and the Luthors want to turn Kryptonite into a weapon that can be fired at things to make them gold. (Full confession, it’s been many years since I watched the Reeve Superman.) Lois Lane…I mean Alev has a father who has some formulas that he needs. It’s a flimsy excuse to put her in danger so Superman has a reason to kick some butt. They try and kidnap her, so this happens.

Superman springs into action

I gotta admit, even though this is a Turkish knockoff, I was still excited to see that happen. I mean the bad guy told Alev “we’ll incubate you honey.” That’s just going too far and we need Superman to fly past bridges, factories, and buildings before showing up on the scene to save her. They drove her car into the back of a truck that they then send off to crash on it’s own on a mountain road. Superman shows up, sees it, and leaps into action literally. You might expect that he would just fly up to it and stop it with his bare hands, but no. He’s a practical Superman. He lands on the roof, gets into the driver’s side, and stops it.

The rest of the movie is just a series of the bad guys talk, Alev is put in danger, and Superman rescues her until he finally stops the Luthors altogether. With that in mind, let’s just look at a few of the highlights.

Superman is a perv

He can catch bullets

Knife to the back? No problem!

Superman laughs at threats to “bisect” him

A test of strength

I could go on with more great shots, but let’s wind down. I have to mention the music. The Superman theme is used several times, but there’s something you wouldn’t expect. How about some music from James Bond movies. No joke. You’ll recognize them immediately.

At this point, I am sure you have three big questions on your mind:

Q. Does Superman hit anyone so hard they fly into the air?
A. Yes, he flies right up in the air and grabs onto a tree branch.

Q. Once the bad guys get the info they need to create their weapon that turns things into gold, then do they try it on a cat?
A. Yes, but the cat walks off target and they miss.

Q. Since we know the Turks do the greatest death scene faces, is there a comparable one here?
A. Yes!

Almost looks like you caught him doing something naughty, but actually Superman just hit him and he’s going down.

Superman does get briefly stopped by the Kryptonite, but it’s ultimately just an excuse so Tayfun can reveal to Alev that he is Superman. Superman catches up with Luthor #1 and lifts the back of his car like Schwarzenegger in Twins. Then he squares off with him in a scene that reminded me of the final standoff in Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins. Except Superman doesn’t dodge any bullets. He simply grabs his arm, takes the gun, crushes the gun, and turns him over to the authorities. They all want Superman to stay, but apparently he must leave to “search for my country Krypton which disappeared seven light years ago.” There’s so much wrong with that sentence.

I liked it! I was a little disappointed that they didn’t take more liberties with the character. I want to see something akin to Darth Vader turning into a scorpion in Star Wars on the Famicom. The question is whether it is worth your time? I think that’s an especially important question when it comes to these kinds of movies. It’s not as good as Lady Terminator, which is definitely worth seeing. This is camp, cheese, and low budget. However, since it is Superman, there is something special about seeing him in something so familiar and yet different. It’s only a little over an hour so it won’t take up too much time. Check it out.

The look on my face when I discovered there are things like a Mexican Batwoman, Filipino Batman, and Turkish Batman.

Note: I would have loved if the upcoming Superman movies had a cameo appearance from the Turkish Superman, but unfortunately he is dead. In fact, he died one year before Reeve passed away. Also, I am well aware of the unfortunate first name of the director and the last name of the actress who plays Superman’s Mom: Kunt and Çokseker.

Val’s Movie Roundup #2: Hallmark Edition

Posted on July 14, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

Signed, Sealed, Delivered: From Paris With Love (2015) – Despite what people say elsewhere online, you can’t come into this film without having seen any of the other Signed, Sealed, Delivered TV Movies/Episodes. I know this because I tried and it doesn’t work. The movie is about four people (conveniently picked so we know that they should pair off) who get dead letters and track down who should have received them. Sounds like it should be a procedural, but it’s not. This series seems to set up a tiny little bit of a plot, then spends the whole time having the characters develop through conversation. The reason this film will lose people who are brand new is because it reaches all the way back through everything to the first episode of the show to bring Oliver’s (Eric Mabius) wife into his life again. The wife is played by Poppy Montgomery in a role far better than in Tammy and the T-Rex. Yeah, I’m going to work that movie into as many reviews as possible. There are also flashbacks. You really need to come to this as the culmination of all the previous stuff. As a result, my experience with this film was not good. It felt inert. Kind of like passing away slowly, but painlessly. I know that sounds brutal, but I can’t think of a better way to describe it.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered for Christmas (2014) – This Signed, Sealed, Delivered is a different beast. It’s still the same characters and once again a dead letter has shown up. This time it’s a letter for God. You’d think it’s for Santa considering Christmas is in the title, but this is less a Christmas movie as it is a Christian movie. Unlike From Paris With Love, you can come into this without knowing anything. That’s a real plus! Again, it’s not about plot, but character development. And subtle slow development at that. I wonder how long Hallmark is planning to keep this show going. It can feel like being teased at times. Like near the end when Norman (Geoff Gustafson) reaches up to gently touch Rita’s (Crystal Lowe) face. You know she should just grab him in her arms, but it never happens. Instead, he walks away while she is lit up like a Christmas tree. If you have to choose between the two TV Movie episodes of this show to start with, then please start with this one. You’ll have a far better time, and most likely will enjoy From Paris With Love much more than I did.

Surprised By Love (2015) – When the cake gets destroyed, just make a new one from Twinkies! There’s nothing really to be surprised about here. You have a driven girl with the wrong guy. You have one of those guys who achieved some sort of nirvana by wandering from place to place. He’s kind of like the magic negro or magic eccentric type character that turns around other people’s lives simply by coming in contact with them. And finally, you have her boyfriend who is stuffy and clearly doesn’t belong with her. Our heroine runs into the magic man who is selling driftwood. Yeah, and his car runs on vegetable oil. I’m not making that up. What happens is that her boyfriend thinks it will be really clever if she brings home the magic man, whom she knows from high school, to be an embarrassment so he looks wonderful. Guess what happens? At least the grandpa who pretends to have dementia so he doesn’t have to talk to anybody is kind of funny. This one’s harmless.

Nearlyweds (2013) – Yeah, that’s easily the best scene in the movie. A phone call comes in with a job offer and while the person is leaving a message, the dog pees on the phone and it shorts out. But let me back up. This movie is about three girlfriends who all got married around the same time by the same guy. Problem though, he dies before he can sign the paperwork. That means, technically, legally, they’re not actually married. Typical, but could be humorous. Except it’s not. One of the big problems is that the husbands don’t find out about this until 48 minutes into the movie. At that point there are 39 minutes left. I don’t know why it takes so long. Everything prior seems like filler, then the secret is out, and still next to nothing happens. I know it’s Hallmark and a TV Movie in general, but they really should have done more with this. It’s not a concept that’s necessarily doomed from the start. Too bad.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #130: Double Daddy (dir by Lee Friedlander)

Posted on July 14, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

OMG, I'm tired. It might be nap time and by nap time, I mean that I'll see everyone tomorrow morning.

— Lisa Marie Bowman (@LisaMarieBowman) July 14, 2015

Why was I tired enough to tweet that? Because late last night, after a very long day of work and dance, I rewatched the Lifetime original movie Double Daddy.

Why Was I Watching It?

I’m still in the process of trying to clear up space on my DVR. So, last night, as I battled my need for sleep, I forced myself to rewatch a Lifetime film from June so that I could review it and erase it. I didn’t care much for Double Daddy the first time that I watched it and the second time, I cared for it even less.

And, of course, because I stayed up to watch it a second time, I was exhausted for most of today. Bleh.

What Was It About?

BLEH!

Okay, I guess that doesn’t tell you much. Connor (Cameron Palatas) is a high school jock who, at the start of the film, is drunkenly stumbling around the most boring high school party ever. New girl Heather (Brittany Curran) ends up having a one night stand with him. As a result, Heather gets pregnant. At the same time, Connor’s girlfriend, Amanda (Mollee Gray), discovers that she’s pregnant as well!

That’s right — Connor’s about to be a double daddy!

Of course, since this is a Lifetime film, Heather is also a psycho who carries a knife and starts to plot Amanda’s death…

It all probably sounds more interesting than it actually is.

What Worked?

I was tempted to say that nothing worked about Double Daddy but that’s not quite true. Brittany Curran was memorably demented in the role of Heather. In fact, she gave such a good performance that I found myself rooting for Heather, regardless of how much of a murderous psycho she eventually turned out to be. Heather may have been crazy but at least she wasn’t boring.

What Did Not Work?

I’m just going to say it: of the many Lifetime films that I’ve watched over the years, Double Daddy is one of my least favorite. No, it’s not as bad as The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story but then again, what is? With the exception of Brittany Curran, the performances are dull and the actors get no help from a script that is both heavy-handed and simple-minded.

Perhaps worst of all, there’s a nasty strain of slut shaming that runs through Double Daddy. Amanda and Heather are held to different standards while Connor is held to no standard at all. Judgmental and bland Amanda is presented as being saintly, largely because she only has sex with a serious boyfriend and presumably only after finishing her homework. Heather, on the other hand, becomes pregnant as the result of a drunken one night stand and, perhaps not surprisingly, is also portrayed as being a complete psycho who eventually tries to murder Amanda. While we’re obviously meant to feel sorry for Amanda, the film allows absolutely no sympathy for Heather. Completely absolved of any responsibility is Connor, who we are actually supposed to feel sorry for because crazy Heather is keeping him from being with Amanda, the same girl that he previously cheated on! BLEH!

As well, let’s consider the fact that saintly Amanda and victimized Connor both come from typical upper class Lifetime families while Heather is the only character to come from a lower class background.

Seriously, exploring the subtext of Double Daddy is not a pleasant activity.

What makes all this especially upsetting is that Double Daddy was directed by Lee Friedlander, who previously directed the brilliant Babysitter’s Black Book.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Much like Heather, I always used school field trips as an excuse to go off on my own. I never pulled a knife on anyone though.

Lessons Learned

We live in a twisted and hypocritical world.

4 Shots From 4 Films: The Seventh Seal, Persona, Scenes From A Marriage, Fanny And Alexander

Posted on July 14, 2015 by Jedadiah Leland

Happy birthday, Ingmar Bergman.

4 Shots From 4 Films

The Seventh Seal (1957, directed by Ingmar Bergman)

Persona (1966, directed by Ingmar Bergman)

Scenes From A Marriage (1973, directed by Ingmar Bergman)

Fanny and Alexander (1982, directed by Ingmar Bergman)

Forget The Gallows

Posted on July 14, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The new horror film The Gallows is pretty dire. It’s boring, it’s forgettable, and – worst of all – it’s not really scary. And yet, I would argue that The Gallows is actually providing a fairly valuable service for horror films lovers.

The Gallows is a found footage horror movie and sometimes, it’s easy to forget just how bad found footage horror movies can be. Every once and a while, a film will be released that actually makes good use of the whole found footage gimmick. Movies like The Last Exorcism, Devil’s Due, Apollo 18, and Unfriended are all good horror films but, at the same time, it’s important to remember that they are the exception to the rule. The Gallows may be a total crapfest but it’s a necessary evil because it serves to remind us of why so many horror films have gone to hate found footage films.

As for The Gallows itself, it tells a story that will be familiar to anyone who has seen a horror film. 20 years ago, during a high school production of a play called The Gallows, a student named Charlie was accidentally hanged. Now, in the present, the school is commemorating the anniversary by putting on another production of The Gallows and…

Excuse me?

Yes, I know that makes no sense. What can I tell you? This is a crappy film.

Anyway, Charlie’s role is being played by a kid named Reese but Reese doesn’t really want to be in the play. He’s just doing it because he has a crush on his co-star, Pfieffer. So, Reese’s obnoxious jock friend, Ryan, suggests that they should break into the school at night and trash the set. That way, the play will be canceled and Reese can comfort Pfieffer. Reese agrees and…

What was that you asked?

Yes, the film really is that stupid.

So, Reese, Ryan, and Ryan’s girlfriend Cassidy break into the school and trash the set. However, before they can really get into destroying stuff, Pfieffer shows up and demands to know what they’re doing. And then suddenly the doors slam shut and everyone’s trapped in the school and hey, there’s the evil spirit of Charlie and he wants to hang everyone…

But guess what!

Charlie’s not just a random evil spirit, seeking out anyone foolish enough to break into the school at night. If that was the case, he might actually be scary. No, Charlie actually has a backstory and a much more complicated motive for wanting to kill everyone. And I’m not going to spoil the film for anyone who wants to see it so I’ll just say this.

Charlie’s motives? They’re really, really stupid.

And, of course, the whole film is found footage! So, once again, we get the whole shaky cam thing and people saying stuff like, “Are you filming?” and all the rest. And, of course, all of the characters share the same first name as their actors because … well, I’m not sure what the point of that is exactly. It’s not like we’re going to be fooled into thinking that we’re watching an actual event. There have been way too many crappy found footage films released recently for anyone to fall for that.

Admittedly, I did jump once or twice while watching The Gallows. But any horror film can get me to jump once or twice. The Gallows is a boring and listless film but, at the very least, it does serve as a warning.

Beware found footage horror films. They promise much yet rarely do they deliver.

Beach Blanket Bummers: SURF PARTY and WILD ON THE BEACH

Posted on July 13, 2015 by gary loggins

American International Pictures created a whole new film genre with the release of BEACH PARTY (1964). The formula was simple: take a group of attractive youngsters and put them on a beach with plenty of sand, surfing, and singing. Add in some romance and comedy. Sprinkle with veteran character actors and the latest pop idols and voila! Hollywood took notice of AIP’s success and studios big and small grabbed their surfboards trying to ride the box-office waves. 20th Century Fox was the first to jump on the hodad-wagon with SURF PARTY (1964), followed quickly by WILD ON THE BEACH (1965).

SURF PARTY begins with beautiful coeds Terry, Sylvia, and Junior arriving from Arizona to the California coast for some summertime fun. Terry (Patricia Morrow of PEYTON PLACE fame) has a brother named Skeet who heads a local gang of surfers called The Lodge. The girls meet surfing instructor Len (pop crooner Bobby Vinton) who gives them lessons and falls for Terry. Lodge wannabe Milo tries to run the pier, despite warnings from police Sgt. Neal (Richard Crane, TV’s ROCKY JONES SPACE RANGER). Neal threatens to close the beach to surfers if these dangerous antics continue. Milo busts his shoulder crashing into a pylon, but sympathetic Junior (singer Jackie DeShannon) sticks by his side. The gang hangs out at Casey’s Surfer, where bands The Routers and The Astronauts play Ventures rip-offs. Sylvia (Lory Patrick, best known as Disney star Dean Jones’s wife) has eyes for Skeet. He throws a party which ends up in a fight between him and Len. Skeet eventually gets his comeuppance, and the girls go back to Arizona supposedly older but wiser.

The problem with SURF PARTY is the film takes itself waaay too seriously. It plays like a throwback to the old 50s hot rod movies, with surfing replacing cars. The black and white cinematography doesn’t do much for the California background, but the music’s okay, with Vinton in especially fine voice on “If I Were An Artist”.

While SURF PARTY strives to be dramatic, WILD ON THE BEACH thinks it’s funny. It’s not. To call the humor ‘strained’ is like saying Andre the Giant was kinda tall. Also photographed in black and white, this one focuses on the antics of Adam (minor singer Frankie Randall) and his pals when they’re forced to share a beach house with Lee (Sherry Jackson of MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY) and her friends because of a housing shortage in their seaside college town. Dean Parker is suspicious of “‘hanky-panky” going on at the house and sends his bumbling assistant Terwilliger to investigate. Living next door is record producer Shep Kirby (character actor Russ Bender, who even sings a country ditty called “Yellow Haired Woman”). When Shep hears a recording of The Astronauts (yep, they’re back), he’s eager to sign them up. Then the dean and his sidekick pull an early morning raid and catch the coeds cohabitating. Expulsions are threatened, but Shep saves the kids by offering his pad to the guys, and the girls can stay at the beach house. Everybody’s happy and dance away to The Astronauts tune “Little Speedy Gonzales”.

The only thing notable about this turkey is the screen debut of Sonny & Cher singing “It’s Gonna Rain”. Otherwise WILD ON THE BEACH is completely forgettable. Both films were directed by Maury Dexter, a low-budget hack whose only interesting movie was THE MINI-SKIRT MOB, about a gang of female biker on the loose. The two flicks have all the trappings of the AIP beach epics, but none of the charm. Where’s Frankie and Annette when we need them? Not to mention the great Eric Von Zipper!!!

Film Review: Show Off! How To Be Cool At Parties (1986, dir. Jim Hirshfeld)

Posted on July 13, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

“It’s like drinking broken glass out of a cup made of razor blades.” – Jeff

It’s not that bad, but it’s pretty awful! It really should have been called Dumbass! How To Be The Laughing Stock Of Humanity. This is a children’s instructional video from 1986 hosted by Cosby Show’s Malcolm-Jamal Warner.

Just push that title out of the way Warner. That dog with the sunglasses is so 80’s!

It’s a video on how to do stupid tricks. How stupid? This stupid.

Never knew how to walk down pretend stairs before? That’s how!

T-Shirt Sheik! You’d be offended, but the camel goes by and you can’t stop laughing.

Levitating! This is possibly the dumbest trick in the whole movie.

You can learn how to beatbox, pretend like a dog is trying to pull you from behind a door, sound like a bicycle horn, play air piano, etc. You just have to see this to believe it. Maybe Mel Gorham here will do it more justice then I ever could.

Mel Gorham

I can’t wait to check out some more of these instructional videos. Apparently, there’s one for law enforcement on recognizing satanic cults.

Thank you, Patti Kaplan!

Film Review: Tammy and the T-Rex (1994, dir. Stewart Raffill)

Posted on July 13, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

You read the name and you know it sucks. Then that title screen pops up. Oh, my God! It looks like a 2nd grader made that, but it’s oh so perfect. You know why? Because this movie is as childish as that screen implies. The only thing wrong with it is that the title is too short. It should have been called Tammy, the T-Rex, and the African Queen. No, not because it has anything to do with the Hepburn movie, but because of this.

This!

It’s two for the price of one! Not only do we get a gay stereotype, but one that is also a black stereotype. But what do you expect? The movie is made by the same guy who directed Mannequin: On The Move, which had a similar character. He also wrote and directed Mac and Me. The character’s name is Byron (Theo Forsett). So, what happens in this movie when Byron isn’t passing out or someone is saying not to bend over near him?

Testicular Standoff

I’m not making that up! One of the two cops who shows up actually calls it that. Those are two high school guys trying to crush each other’s genitals with their bare hands. Wanna know something else? That’s Paul Walker on the right. Yep, that Paul Walker. Need it to be even dumber, since the fact that this carries on for several minutes isn’t enough. It turns out Walker, I mean Michael, is faking it because he’s actually wearing a cup. If you can’t tell whether you are holding male genitals or a piece of plastic then you are in real trouble. Why are they doing this? Well, of course for the heart of Denise Richards who plays Tammy! It’s everyone’s dream to have two men fight over them this way. Oh, and that shot of Byron above is from this scene. He seems to be turned on by it. Oh, this movie. Now comes the T-Rex.

I know this is a lousy VHS print of the movie, but I can’t imagine how much worse this must look in HD. The plot goes like this. Michael shows up at Tammy’s place for a little action. Poppy Montgomery, in clearly her finest performance, sees Michael climbing up to Tammy’s room and calls in the other guy who fought with Michael earlier at school. Just as Tammy is finally gonna get a little something, in comes the bad guy with his friends in a scene reminiscent of A Clockwork Orange. They take Michael away to the Wild Animal Park. They couldn’t come up with a better name. Michael is left to get mauled by a lion. What happens next is right up there with the vagina snake scene at the beginning of Lady Terminator.

A mad scientist and his girl show up at the hospital, pretend Michael is dead, then steal his body out from under the nose of Tammy, Byron, both of which pass out on the floor, and the one member of Michael’s family who also happens to drink like a fish. Then they cut open Michael’s head and put his brain into a T-Rex. Yep, that’s how it happens. What follows is Michael the T-Rex seeking revenge on all the people who have wronged him.

The Got Milk? Guy

The funniest death is easily when the guy from the original Got Milk? commercial gets killed after peeing on the T-Rex. Oh, and Michael the T-Rex also makes a phone call.

He actually tries to leave a message for Tammy!

What follows are stupid deaths, stupid gay jokes, and one of the fakest things I have seen in a long time. Feast your eyes!

This will move you to tears.

The ending is so absurd that I won’t even…who am I kidding? No one is going to seek this out. It ends like this.

An American Werewolf In London death

Denise Richards does a sexy dance

And Paul Walker’s brain sparks with excitement.

After unsuccessfully trying to find Michael’s body, they simple put his brain in Tammy’s room, attach it to a camera, and she dances for him. It’s amazing these movies exist. I don’t know how we made it out of the 1990’s. There’s an Italian R-rated version of this movie with a few deleted scenes. I watched them. Let’s end this review with one of them.

Like a compass

Comic-Con’s First Look At The Suicide Squad

Posted on July 13, 2015 by Arleigh

“If anything goes wrong we blame them. We have built-in deniability.” — Amanda Waller

When will studios finally realize that showing any video reel, trailer or teaser at Comic-Con’s Hall H will inevitably be leaked if no official release has been made. It’s the nature of the internet and has become a sort of ritual each summer when Comic-Con rolls around. Some studios have been better with whetting the appetite of fans by giving those who can’t make Hall H with something to see. Others seem intent on trying to control what comes out of Hall H. It’s almost as if they’re saying “sucks to be you” if one couldn’t attend Comic-Con and get a seat in Hall H.

This year it seems Warner Brothers is that studio that’s trying to stamp out all the leaked footage shown at this year’s Hall H during their industry panel. It was a panel that was seen as the best thing about the Hall H gatherings. They did the right thing about releasing the latest trailer for Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice to the public and not just keeping it for the Hall H crowd. Yet, they whiffed big time by not doing the same for the Suicide Squad trailer (or first look as some call it).

Inevitably some in Hall H were kind enough to turn on their smartphones and video a rough and grainy look at the trailer which was then uploaded onto the internet. This was the first look a majority of comic-book and film fans got of Suicide Squad. Not a good look, but fans were playing this leaked footage nonstop. So, taking a page out of Marvel Studios PR playbook after the first Avengers: Age of Ultron trailer leaked in a very non-HD version, Warner Bros. has finally surrendered and released an HD-version of the Suicide Squad trailer.

All is right with the world.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #129: Accidental Obsession (dir by George Erschbamer)

Posted on July 13, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the Lifetime premiere of Accidental Obsession.

Caroline Cave stars in Accidental Obsession

Why Was I Watching It?

After A Deadly Adoption, Trigger Point, and Lethal Seduction, it is obvious that Lifetime is on a roll. In the future, when we look back at the history of Lifetime movies, 2015 will definitely be seen as a high point. Naturally, how could I not excited by the idea of a Lifetime movie premiering on Sunday? Surely, Accidental Obsession would prove to be yet another Lifetime masterpiece…

What Was It About?

After Carly (Caroline Cave) escapes from a mental asylum, she murders and steals the identity of a travel writer named Vanessa. She then manages to meet and befriend an attorney named Heather (Josie Davis).

Within a matter of days, Vanessa has become clingy and possessive. Not only does she regularly break into Heather’s house but she borrows Heather’s clothes without asking as well! (Breaking and entering is one thing. Borrowing without asking permission is something else all together!) However, it turns out that Vanessa is not the only person obsessed with Heather. There’s also Heather’s ex-husband, Ray (Sebastian Spence) and a private investigator named Jack (Marc Menard).

(This movie could have just as easily been called Everyone Loves Heather.)

How far will Vanessa go to have Heather all to herself? Well, Vanessa is kind of a crazy stabby psycho so you can probably guess what ends up happening.

What Worked?

Josie Davis is a Lifetime veteran and, as a result, she knew exactly the right type of performance to give in a film like Accidental Obsession. As well, Caroline Cave gave a good performance as the psycho Vanessa.

What Did Not Work?

Sad to say, this was definitely a lesser Lifetime film. The film opens with Carly stabbing Vanessa to death with a huge butcher knife. Despite the fact that Carly stabbed Vanessa repeatedly, there’s absolutely no blood seen on the knife or Carly afterwards. It was distracting and it pretty much set the tone for the entire film. Accidental Obsession definitely felt like a movie that was too rushed to pay much attention to details like blood.

Naturally, all Lifetime film require a certain suspension of disbelief. Accidental Obsession required a bit too much suspending. For the entire film’s plot to even come close to making sense, Heather had to be a total and complete idiot. And it’s true that there are idiots out there but they usually don’t make for compelling protagonists.

There’s also a scene of totally gratuitous animal cruelty. While I understand that the filmmakers were trying to show us how crazy and dangerous Vanessa really was, those two facts had already been pretty firmly established. As a result, the scene just felt sadistic and unnecessary.

Finally, Accidental Obsession is way too generic of a title. Add to that, no one’s obsession was really accidental.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

You meet someone, you try to be nice, and the next thing you know, that person is determined to be a part of every minute of your life. Yes, Lifetime, I’ve been there…

Lessons Learned

Be suspicious of people who steal identities, want to be your best friend, and attempt to stab your ex-husband to death. They’re probably up to no good.