Film Review: Boy Meets Girl (2014, dir. Eric Schaeffer)

Posted on July 18, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

Ricky (Michelle Hendley)

This movie popped up on my radar earlier this year and I made the mistake of thinking they had hired a genetic girl (GG) to play the role of the trans woman named Ricky. I was informed that they had actually gotten the real deal. That’s always nice. I don’t mind when it’s a cisgender man because we call that acting. However, when it’s a GG, it’s kind of the transgender equivalent of blackface. Just without malicious intent.

Now the movie is on Netflix, both DVD and streaming, so I took a look. I had heard that it was a romantic comedy type movie and that was all I knew. The movie is just that. It’s a familiar formula that we’ve all seen before. Two friends who should be lovers, but don’t realize it till one of them has a failed relationship with someone else. The difference is that the girl is transgender and the failed relationship is with another girl.

A girl named Francesca comes in to a coffee shop and makes the worst faux pas ever. She thinks she’s ordering at Starbucks.

Francesca (Alexandra Turshen)

This Isn’t Starbucks

Ricky’s friend Robby, played by Michael Welch, can see the attraction a mile away. Of course, we can see that Robby should be with Ricky a mile away.

The two start hanging out together and Ricky tells her she’s trans. Francesca doesn’t really care. Francesca is engaged to a soldier in Afghanistan but despite this fact, the two form a sexual relationship.

While all this is going on, we keep cutting back to a video Ricky made as a kid about being trans and how that affected her relationship with her mother who is long gone. We also get a great flashback to when she, Robby, and some friends were surprised by a flasher as kids during Halloween.

Trick or Treat? Trick!

There honestly isn’t a whole lot to say about the story that wouldn’t be just telling you the whole plot. The only things that remain are the transgender issues. For some bizarre reason the four reviews in the Metascore section of IMDb are divided heavily across gender lines. The male ones are 90 and 100, but the two female one’s are 50’s. Maybe it’s just the scoring of their reviews that’s screwy. Reading the extracts of their reviews, the guys seen to be seeing more than there is and the girls seem to let the problems cloud their judgement. Let’s take a quick look at the big positive and the big negative.

The big positive is normalcy. I haven’t seen a whole lot of transgender movies, but when I do, they tend to be tragedy (Boys Don’t Cry), I’m artsy and tackled a difficult topic so please give me awards (Laurence Anyways), documentaries (Red Without Blue and Mr. Angel), or a movie like Tomboy and Ma Vie En Rose. This is just a romantic comedy that happens to have a transgender character in it. It’s important that more films that bring being transgender into the mainstream get made. I’ll see The Danish Girl, but I’d like 10 Boy Meets Girl to be made for every movie like Beautiful Boxer.

The big negative is education. It’s 2015 and even an LGBTIQ positive documentary from 2013 (Camp Beaverton: Meet The Beavers) used the word transgendered. We live in a world where people are still ignorant enough that explaining is kind of necessary. It does detract from the characters and story. I wish that Ricky’s YouTube channel could have been something other than fashion (female stereotype), but I also understand why she absolutely couldn’t be a gamer. Putting aside copyright issues, that is still such a strong male stereotype that it would have sent an unintended message of a boy who is a female impersonator rather than the real deal. I wish director Eric Schaeffer could have taken a leap of faith in these areas like he did by having her with both a girl and a boy sexually, but I understand why he didn’t. Still, she could have done cooking.

I certainly don’t speak for the transgender community. I speak for myself. I would say check it out. It’s not going to make any lists of the best movies of 2014/2015, but it’s a good start.

Ricky and Robby

Note: When the letter comes, and you will know it when you see it, pause the movie, since it goes away quickly, and actually read it. It’s a humorous goof the movie made.

Film Review: Faults (dir by Riley Stearns)

Posted on July 17, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Faults is many things.

It’s a character study. It’s a thriller. It’s a deeply unsettling horror film. It’s a darker-than-dark comedy that will make you laugh even while you’re glancing over your shoulder to make sure there are no strangers hiding in the shadows. It’s a look at religion, faith, free will, and guilt. It’s a declaration that a major talent — writer/director Riley Stearns — has arrived. It’s an acting showcase for both Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Leland Orser. It’s a film that found success on the festival circuit and then had an all-too brief theatrical release in March. It’s also a film that’s currently available on Netflix. Finally, it’s one of the best films of the year so far.

When we first meet professional cult deprogrammer Ansel Roth (Leland Orser), he is eating dinner in a hotel restaurant and desperately trying to convince his waiter that he has an agreement with management, guaranteeing him free meals while staying at the hotel. After Ansel is kicked out of the restaurant, he then tries to convince the hotel manager that his room is supposed to be free as well. The manager gives Ansel an hour to check out.

As quickly becomes apparent, Ansel is nearly broke and he’s living out of his car. What little money he has, he makes from giving sparsely attended lecture where he literally begs people to pay fifteen dollars to get a copy of his latest book. After his lectures, Ansel is willing to sign his new book at a cost of five dollars per signature.

(At one point, when someone asks Ansel to sign his previous book, Ansel abruptly explains that he no longer signs that book. If you want his five dollar autograph, you have to first pay fifteen dollars to get his new book.)

At one point, Ansel was a minor celebrity with his own talk show but, after a girl he deprogrammed subsequently committed suicide, Ansel’s life fell apart. His latest book is self-published and his former manager, the oddly polite Terry (Jon Gries), claims that Ansel owes him money. Terry’s enforcer, Mick (the always intimidating Lance Reddick), is stalking Ansel from cheap motel to cheap motel.

However, things start to look up for Ansel when he’s approached by Paul (Chris Ellis) and Evelyn (Beth Grant). They explain that their daughter, Claire (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), has joined a cult known as Faults and is a follower of a mysterious figure named Ira. They ask Ansel to deprogram her. Ansel agrees to do so and charges them $20,000.

After Ansel and two “assistants” literally grab Claire off the street, they take her to a cheap motel where, behind locked doors, Ansel starts to try to deprogram Claire. However, from the start, Ansel discovers that it’s going to be more difficult than he realized.

For one thing, Claire remains calm throughout the whole kidnapping and, even when locked in the shabby motel room, is confident that she is about to “move on” and achieve a higher level of existence. When Paul and Evelyn show up and try to talk to Claire, it turns out that they’re not quite the loving parents that they initially presented themselves as being. Paul, in particular, reveals himself to have a fierce temper and he demands that Claire change into clothes that would be more appropriate for a teenager than for an adult. When Ansel suggests that the overbearing Paul should back off, Paul replies that he “knows” what Ansel truly wants to do with Claire.

Secondly, even as Ansel tries to deprogram Claire, he still has to deal with Terry and Mick. Neither one of them is particularly concerned about whether or not Ansel can pull Claire away from Faults. Instead, Terry just wants his money.

And finally, even as Ansel tries to keep control of the situation, he is personally falling apart. He finds himself having sudden nosebleeds. At one point, his suit spontaneously combusts into flame. (Believe it or not, there is a relatively plausible reason for why this happens but that doesn’t make it even less shocking.) When Ansel falls asleep in the motel room, he subsequently wakes up in his car and has no memory of how he got there.

And through it all, Claire remains a seductive and manipulative enigma. Sometimes she’s cold and in control. Other times, she’s surprisingly vulnerable. Ansel finds himself both attracted to and frightened of Claire. Throughout the film, Ansel insists that he has “free will” but Claire forces him to reconsider that assumption.

Faults is a low-key and disturbing film that is distinguished by a very dark and cynical sense of humor. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is amazing as the mysterious Claire while Leland Orser is wonderfully desperate and surprisingly sympathetic as Ansel. When Faults first started, I was concerned that, since it largely takes place in one cramped motel room, the film would be too stagey to be effective. But director Riley Stearns does amazing work with that one location and, as a result, Faults is one of those rare films that actually gets more intriguing the deeper you get into it.

Faults is currently available on Netflix and you should watch it.

Bad Blonde: TOO LATE FOR TEARS (1949)

Posted on July 17, 2015 by gary loggins

I just finished viewing the 1949 feature TOO LATE FOR TEARS on TCM. The title may sound like a weepy tearjerker, but this is film noir dynamite. Once incomplete due to falling into public domain, the UCLA Film & Television Archive have restored it to its black & white glory. I’d never seen this one before, and it was time well spent. It’s based on a Saturday Evening Post serial by screenwriter Roy Huggins, who later went on to produce television classics like MAVERICK, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, and BARETTA. TOO LATE FOR TEARS can hold it’s own with the better known noirs of the era.

Alan and Jane Palmer are driving down a lonely LA highway when a satchel is tossed in their car by another driver. They discover the bag’s loaded with cold, hard cash. They’re chased by the intended party, but manage to elude them. When the couple opens the bag at their apartment, Jane’s money lust is palpable. See, she was married once before to a man who committed suicide when he lost his fortune. Jane yearns to return to the easy life and sees this cash as a way out. Sensible Alan argues they should turn it over to the cops, but greedy Jane persuades him to stash it in a train station locker for a week, until cooler heads can prevail.

While Alan’s at work, Jane gets a visit from slimeball Danny who says he’s a cop. After nosing around a bit, he tells her he’s the guy the bag was intended for and threatens her. Not willing to give up her claim on the dough, Jane entices the bum into helping get the money in exchange for half. Danny goes along and agrees to meet her at the lake. Alan and Jane go on a fateful boat ride, where she shoots her husband and has Danny switch clothes with the corpse. Then they tie an anchor to him and drop the poor sap at the bottom of the lake. Jane creates an elaborate ruse to convince everyone that Alan’s run off. But Alan’s little sister Cathy has her doubts, and grows suspicious. An old Army buddy of Alan’s named Don drops by to visit his pal. But Don’s not what he seems to be (no one is in this movie!). Jane plots with Danny to poison little sister and get her out of the way. Instead, Danny ends up poisoned by duplicitous Jane. She ends up hightailing it with the loot to Mexico. Jane’s really living it up on her ill-gotten gains, until Don shows up and the truth is revealed…..

The ending’s a doozy, and Jane gets her final comeuppance in the film’s climax. TOO LATE FOR TEARS is all about crosses and double-crosses, greed, lust, and murder. The cast is full of dependable actors. Lizabeth Scott stars as Jane, the ultimate femme fatale. Scott got her big break in DEAD RECKONING (with Humphrey Bogart), and went on to film noir stardom in I WALK ALONE, DARK CITY, and THE RACKET. She even played opposite Elvis in LOVING YOU. Dan Duryea (Danny) has long been one of my favorite actors. His sleazy touch can be seen in SCARLET STEET (a real gem), LARCENY, CRISS CROSS, and WINCHESTER ’73. Don Defoe (Don), usually cast as the lead’s sidekick, is more recognizable for the sitcoms OZZIE & HARRIET and HAZEL. Always dependable Arthur Kennedy doesn’t make it through the first third of the movie, but is fine as straight laced Alan. If you don’t blink, you’ll spot Denver Pyle, Billy Halop of the Dead End Kids, and MICKEY MOUSE CLUB host Jimmy Dodd in small uncredited roles.

Byron Haskin was a top cinematographer and headed Warner Brothers’ special effects department before turning to directing in the late 40s. He keeps a tight reign on this one, but is best known for his work in science-fiction films like WAR OF THE WORLDS, CONQUEST OF SPACE, ROBINSON CRUSOE ON MARS, and the 60s TV anthology THE OUTER LIMITS. TOO LATE FOR TEARS, despite the sappy title, is a great little piece of filmmaking. Independently produced by Hunt Stromberg (RED DUST, THE THIN MAN) and originally released through United Artists, this is a movie that will satisfy any film noir buff. Thank you UCLA for your continued work in saving these lesser known pieces of Hollywood history. And as always, thanks to TCM for giving us all the privilege of watching them again and again.

Film Review: The Magic of the Golden Bear: Goldy III (1994, dir. John Quinn)

Posted on July 17, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

Remember when you were a kid and you didn’t have anything else to do so you started flipping through the channels on the TV? You came across a movie that wasn’t necessarily good, but you stopped and watched it anyways. You didn’t have anything else to do. Then you moved on with your life and grew up. Something happens and you remember that movie but can’t for the life of you think of title. So you begin digging around trying to find it. If you’re lucky, you do. An example of that kind of movie for me is Tommy Tricker and the Stamp Traveller (1988). This is one of those movies. A humble movie. I never saw it as a kid, but I think I would remember it. I became aware of it because it showed up on Netflix and said it has Cheech Marin, Mr. T, and a bear. How was I going to resist that?

The movie begins in an Old West town with Jessie (Bonnie Morgan) and her pet bear Goldy. I am no expert on bears, but it puzzles me why they keep referring to it as the last Golden Bear. Well, this bear likes to pay visits to the schoolhouse to get suckers from Jessie, plays dress up, and sometimes goes for a bike ride. No joke. Just look!

It’s that scene that would make this film stick somewhere in your memory if you saw it as a child. With that little bit of comedy to open the film, we are introduced to our characters and situation that needs resolving. There is a man who lives in the wilderness simply referred to as the “ghost man”. Take a wild guess who that is.

Ghost Man (Mr. T)

There are also Borgia (Cheech Marin) and Hugo (Danny Woodburn) who are magician and magician’s assistant respectively. Borgia isn’t doing so good magically and thinks if he can get his hands on the last Golden Bear that things will get better. He’s also a Jedi.

Jedi Mind Trick

Throw in some rednecks and a shooting contest that must be won to save the house and you have Goldy III. Eventually all these people come together and the real problem emerges. The ghost man, who turns out to be named Freedom, realized it from the moment he met Goldy. Goldy ran away scared from him. It’s understandable that a little girl would, but a bear? That shouldn’t happen and Freedom knows it. Goldy has become too human and forgotten how to be a bear. I mean Goldy even takes his punishment for riding the bike by sitting in a corner with a dunce cap on.

Eventually Jessie runs away with Goldy to protect her when the possibility of her being sold arises. She finally gets to be properly introduced to Freedom and he explains why Goldy needs to be set free. After awhile the rest of the folks catch up with them. At this point, Borgia knows he’s been doing bad things and wants to make things right. How? Well, remember he’s a Jedi!

Into The Wild For Goldy

I can’t tell you how this fits in with the previous films because I haven’t seen them. Note, I said films, not the first two movies. That’s because according to IMDb there are two Goldy III movies. I don’t know how that works. Trevor Black is the creator and director of the first two movies and seems to have made a third too. This was then made several years later also as Goldy III. Maybe it’s a remake, but I don’t know. It’s definitely safe for a kid, but this really is the kind of movie they should stumble upon their own. I wouldn’t bring it to them.

Here’s the Trailer for The Revenant!

Posted on July 17, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s the first trailer for The Revenant, director Alejandro Inarritu’s follow-up to the Oscar-winning Birdman, which I thought was overrated but everyone else in the world seemed to love it.

A lot of people are speculating that The Revenant could be a major player in the 2015 Oscar race and the trailer certainly does look exciting. Leonardo DiCaprio has never won an Oscar and Tom Hardy has never even been nominated, so both of them are due for a little Academy love. Plus, The Revenant co-stars the suddenly very prolific Domhnall Gleeson, who was great in both Ex Machina and Unbroken and who is destined to be nominated some day.

Val’s Movie Roundup #3: Late Night Cable Edition

Posted on July 16, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

I remember when Fifty Shades Of Grey (2015) came out and the outcry on Twitter. Even a woman I respect was ranting about it. It seemed ridiculous to me, but I hadn’t seen it yet so I reserved judgement. I saw it on June 23rd. It’s the kind of movie I would have watched during an elementary school sleepover thinking I was seeing something naughty when I actually had seen next to nothing. I distinctly remember watching Sirens (1993) with Hugh Grant one time. I also remember a guy at school thinking he was cool because he had seen Sleeping With The Enemy (1991).

By the time I got to middle school I had a TV in my room with cable. That meant I was introduced to the wonderful world of late night cable. Sometimes this meant cheesy sex comedies from the 80’s. Other times bad monster movies. I even managed to get in on the first episode of Sex And The City by accident and other shows like Perversions of Science. It also meant the occasional film that gave Cinemax it’s nickname Skinemax. Honestly, I never watched many of them. I only remember one called The Naked Detective (1996). However, I have fond memories of them being quite funny. The sex wasn’t interesting, but I would get laughs out of the material around the sex.

I also remember in the early 2000’s when Roger Ebert introduced a movie he and Richard Roeper were going to review. It was Secret Things (2002). A decent piece of French erotica. He said that most critics ignore movies like that and don’t like to admit to being aroused. He basically was saying that is a bunch of nonsense which was why they were going to talk about the film despite the content.

I recently started using the HBO, Showtime, and Cinemax apps. They stock a few of their late night movies in them. I thought I would take another look at them being 10-15 years older than when I was just a kid. I think Ebert is right. In fact, on a side note, they have the movie he wrote the screenplay for in the Cinemax After Dark section. That being Russ Meyer’s Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls (1970). Proof that being a great film critic, doesn’t necessarily mean you should be making them. I thought I would talk briefly about a couple of them that I watched recently.

There seem to be two main directors whose films populate these three apps. Dean McKendrick and Stormy Daniels. I am going to talk about three of McKendrick’s films and one of Daniels’ films.

Sexy Warriors (2014) – This is quintessential Dean McKendrick. A B-Movie plot with loads of corny dialogue. These are the kind of late night movies I remember watching and laughing along with. This is similar, as with many of these films, to mainstream movies like Time Barbarians (1990) and Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991). Except instead of burly warriors from the past, we have Amazon women who happen to come from the “isle of Lesbos”. Of course they do. It begins with two of them trying to get to the Orb of Azoff. One of them knocks out the other and gets to the orb first. The orb sends her away to Los Angeles. Of course! But not just anywhere in Los Angeles. This time portal of sorts has it’s other end in the worst gym I have ever seen in a movie. You can see it in the picture above. That’s it. You think that’s just the locker room, but no. That’s the entire gym. The fact that they have actual conversations about the gym including that one of them doesn’t have the money to buy it is hilarious. Soon the other lady comes through the portal as well. There’s some sex. It’s the kind geared toward straight guys while trying to pick up lesbians as well with girl on girl. One thing I thought was interesting is that there is a guy in the movie played by an actor named Ted Newsom. It’s always interesting to look at the other credits for people in movies and late night cable movies are no exception. This guy acts in these types of films, but actually makes lots of documentaries about Old Hollywood. In particular, the history of horror films. Well, the two reconcile their differences and go home happy. This is a standard McKendrick film.

Lust In Space (2015) AKA Naked In Space – This is an example of where McKendrick loses his way. The plot has something to do with people training to go and supply a space station, but there’s spies involved trying to do something nefarious. It just doesn’t work. McKendrick needs simple, and this ain’t it. Also, it’s all very recycled from his other films. In fact, there’s a shot of the moon in the credits that is exactly the same as he used in Lolita From Interstellar Space. Identical. There’s also a set that is reused from that movie. The sex is the same as usual. Like one of the porn stars in the documentary Aroused (2013) said, they’re not trying to catch smooth transitions. It’s from position A to B to C. The only thing that keeps this movie from being the worst McKendrick movie I’ve seen is that unlike Lolita From Interstellar Space, it does not have Anna Morna in it. I don’t expect great performances by any of the actors in these movies, but her’s was unbelievably awful. Her absence is a blessing, but you can still skip this one.

Invisible Centerfolds (2015) – Ever thought The Invisible Man (1933) with Claude Rains or the many other invisible people movies needed girl on girl, then this is for you. Once again it has the familiar signature of Dean McKendrick, but this one is a wee bit zanier. Sure the invisible part means the standard humor that you would expect in comedy that has someone made invisible, but there’s more. The professor who creates the invisibility potion looks and is dressed like Bill Nye, The Science Guy. No joke. It took me a bit to realize it, but once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Also, at one point one of the girls drinks what she thinks is the invisibility potion, but it isn’t. It’s the turn a person into a gorilla potion. Why? Why not! Suddenly she’s a gorilla. Yep, that happens. Also, this movie kind of makes fun of it’s own genre by making the excuses to have sex so ludicrous that I think McKendrick was deliberately parodying himself. That isn’t beyond the scope these movies. The best one of these kind of movies I have seen called Emmanuelle Through Time: Emmanuelle’s Skin City (2011) is one long parody of it’s own genre and all the movies with Emmanuelle in the title. As for this movie, all I can say is, this one’s okay.

Immortal Love (2012) AKA Sex With A Vampire – This is a Stormy Daniels film. Her movies are a different beast than a Dean McKendrick movie in almost every way. Both her and McKendrick borrow a familiar mainstream genre or plot, but that’s where the similarities end. First off, being a woman, these movies are clearly targeted for straight girls and straight girls only. No girl and girl whatsoever. As the title suggests, it’s Twilight. Of course it is. A girl is in danger, a vampire saves her, and the two form a kinship. Except instead of a bunch of annoying staring that Screen Junkies was able to piece together to make a nearly 30 minute video, these two actually do something about it. The sex is similar to McKendrick, but made less fun and more romantic. Neither comes across as particularly natural however. I have only encountered that in one of these movies that I have watched and I think my heart skipped a beat because I was so shocked to see sex with purpose and passion. Daniels also makes greater use of story than McKendrick. If you don’t just want a comedic clothesline on which sex scenes are hung, then Daniels is for you. She also does more interesting things cinematographically including the use of black and white in this one. I have only seen two of her movies, but this is the one to go with.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #131: Bad Blood (dir by Adam Silver)

Posted on July 16, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched a Lifetime film that originally aired in March, Bad Blood.

Why Was I Watching?

The main reason that I watched it was so I could get it off of my DVR. I recorded Bad Blood when it originally aired in March, fully planning to promptly review it. However, for whatever reason, I never got around to writing that review and Bad Blood sat, for 4 months, on my DVR. Last night, I decided to rewatch Bad Blood, review Bad Blood, and finally erase Bad Blood! (I need the space for all the shark movies that are going to be SyFy this week.)

What Was It About?

Bad Blood was a typical Lifetime mix of empowerment and exploitation. Serial killer Oscar Marcus (Brett Rickaby) is dying of leukemia so he’s kidnapping, torturing, and murdering victims all across the southwest so that he can exchange his bad blood for their good blood. (Or something like that — Bad Blood was not exactly an easy film to follow.) However, because Oscar had a bone marrow transplant five years earlier, he’s not leaving his DNA behind at the crime scenes. Instead, he’s leaving behind the DNA of his donor, Lauren (Taylor Cole).

And, since this is a Lifetime film, Lauren has both a mysterious past and a boyfriend involved in law enforcement. However, when Lauren’s DNA starts to show up at crime scenes, that boyfriend is forced to arrest her. (That’ll kill a relationship.)

However, Oscar rescues Lauren from the cops because he wants her blood. And then Lauren escapes Oscar and teams up with her estranged father (Jeff Kober) to prove her innocence…

What Worked?

It’s strange. I really didn’t like Bad Blood the first time I saw it but the second time, I discovered that it wasn’t as bad as I remembered. There were a few strikingly atmospheric scenes towards the end of the film and there was something oddly charming about the film’s refusal to make any logical sense.

Jeff Kober was good as the irresponsible father and Brett Rickaby was a chillingly believable murderer. The second time I watched the film, I better appreciated Taylor Cole’s performance as well.

What Did Not Work?

Bad Blood was not as bad as I remembered it being but it’s still not one of my favorite Lifetime films. The pacing was off in a few key scenes and Lauren’s romance with the sheriff was pretty dull. As well, I didn’t care much for the film’s ending. After what those people went through, everyone should have been a lot more traumatized. Instead, it ended in a typically upbeat Lifetime sort of way.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I related to Lauren’s relationship with her dad. Plus, Lauren’s a runner just like me! (Lauren was also an auto mechanic, which was a totally “Oh my God! Definitely not like me!” moment.)

Lessons Learned

DNA is a lot trickier than I thought.

5 Heroes From Marvel’s Golden Age Who Deserve Their Own Movie

Posted on July 16, 2015 by Jedadiah Leland

Captain America is the best remembered and most prominent hero from the Golden Age of Marvel Comics (or, as the company was known back then, Timely Comics). One reason why Captain America: The First Avenger was so successful was because it exploited the nostalgia that audiences had for that golden age, a time when the world was united against the greatest evil known to man and there was no doubt who was fighting for good and who was fighting for evil.

However, Captain America was not the only Marvel super hero fighting gangsters and Nazis during the 1940s. If Marvel Studios ever decides to take another trip back to World War II, these five Golden Age heroes would be worthy additions to the MCU.

The Blonde Phantom

Created by Stan Lee and artist Syd Shores and first introduced in 1946, The Blonde Phantom was a part of Marvel’s post-war attempt to appeal to young female readers.

Originally from Hoboken, New Jersey, Louise Grant was the secretary to private detective Mark Mason. Bored with her job and in love with Mark, Louise would regularly grab a .45 caliber pistol, don the sultry disguise of the Blonde Phantom, and help her boss solve his cases. While Mark barely noticed his loyal secretary, he fell in love with the Blonde Phantom.

It would be tricky to reimagine the Blonde Phantom from a modern perspective but I think it could be done. Instead of emphasizing Louise’s unrequited crush on the sexist Mark, a modern Blonde Phantom film would focus on how becoming the Blonde Phantom allows Louise to discover her own inner strength. As Agent Carter proved, there is an audience for a strong female character in a period setting.

Claire Voyant

Introduced in 1940 and created by George Kapitan and Harry Sahle, Claire Voyant (who was also known as The Black Widow, long before the first appearance of Natasha Ramanoff) is considered to be the first costumed female super hero and also one of the darkest.

A medium, Claire is possessed by Satan and used to put a curse on the Wagler Family. After most of the family is killed in a car accident, the sole remaining Wagler shoots and kills Claire. Claire immediately goes to Hell, where Satan himself gives her the power to kill by simply touching her victim’s forehead. Satan then sends Claire back among the living, on a mission to kill evil doers so that Satan can claim their souls before they have a chance to repent and ask for forgiveness.

Along with her dark origin story and her flirtatious relationship with Satan, Claire Voyant was distinguished by both her lack of remorse when it came to killing and for having the sharpest eyebrows of almost any character from the Golden Age. As the star of her own MCU film, she would provide an interesting contrast to the wholesomeness of Captain America.

The Destroyer

A journalist-turned-spy, Keen Marlow was captured behind-the-lines in Nazi Germany. Held in a prison-of-war camp, Marlow met Prof. Eric Schmitt, an anti-Nazi German scientist who had created a serum that was similar to the one that was used to transform frail Steve Rogers into Captain America. After taking the serum, Marlow donned a mask and a dark costume and used his new powers to battle the Nazis from within Germany.

The Destroyer was a popular character during the Golden Age, though he was never as prominent as Captain America, The Human Torch, or the Submariner. The Destroyer became far more interesting when his origin was retconned in the 1970s and it was revealed the Keen Marlow was an alias used by British aristocrat Brian Falsworth. Before the start of World War II, Falsworth had been a prominent supporter of appeasement. By becoming The Destroyer, Falsworth both defended his country and sought redemption. When Falsworth eventually took on yet another costumed identity (Union Jack), his friend Roger Aubrey took over the role of the Destroyer.

The Destroyer was one of the first super hero characters to be created by Stan Lee. Not only is his origin similar to Captain America’s (Cap was introduced in March of 1941 and the Destroyer made his debut nine months later) but it is also a forerunner to Iron Man’s.

Namor the Submariner

Created by artist and writer Bill Everett, Namor was the son of human boat captain Leonard McKenzie and Fen, the daughter of the emperor of the undersea kingdom of Atlantis. As a hybrid, Namor had the ability to live under water but, with his human appearance, he could also go above the surface and safely mix with human society as well. While the arrogant and hot-tempered Namor had little use for humanity (with the exception of New York City policewoman Betty Dean), he did side with the Allies in the war against the Nazis.

Despite being a prominent member of the Marvel Universe for over 70 years, Namor has yet to even appear in a movie. Not only was he one of the most popular of the Marvel Golden Age heroes but his battle with the original Human Torch has regularly been cited as being the birth of the Marvel Universe. Unlike many Golden Age characters, Namor remains active today, sometimes fighting for humanity and sometimes trying to destroy it.

There have been efforts to make a movie about Namor but, so far, none of them have been successful. Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige has said that there are many deals and contracts that need to be sorted out before it can be definitely determined who owns the rights to the character. It will probably be a while before the Submariner swims to a theater near you.

The Phantom Reporter

The Phantom Reporter is actually Dick Jones, a former all-American fullback who was also a college boxing, wrestling, and fencing champion. As a reporter, Dick always tried to protect those who could not defend themselves. When he couldn’t help them as a journalist, he would put on a mask, a suit, and a cape and he would battle evildoers.

The Phantom Reporter only appeared in one Golden Age comic book, 1941’s Daring Mystery Comic Books #3. 65 years later, he was brought back as one of the lead characters in The Twelve, a limited series about a group of World War II super heroes who, after spending decades in suspended animation, are revived in the 21st Century. Returning to his career as both a costumed hero and a journalist, The Phantom Reporter also develops an unlikely relationship with Claire Voyant.

The perfect Phantom Reporter movie would be a cross between the screwball comedy of The Front Page and the heroics of Captain America. It would be a reminder that not all heroes have super powers. Some of them just have the desire to do the right thing.

Benny’s From Heaven: Jack Benny in THE HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT (1945)

Posted on July 15, 2015 by gary loggins

Jack Benny claimed 1945’s THE HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT killed his movie career. After rewatching it, I can’t understand why. This comedy/fantasy is just as good as any Bob Hope or Red Skelton film of the era. Yet the critics of the time savaged it, and Benny spent the rest of his life cracking jokes about what a turkey the movie was. I disagree, and think THE HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT deserves a second look.

Jack plays Athanael, a third rate trumpeter playing third trumpet for a radio show sponsored by Paradise Coffee (“the coffee that makes you sleep”). Lulled to sleep himself by the dulcet tones of the show’s announcer, Athanael dreams he’s playing his trumpet in a heavenly orchestra. Beautiful harpist Elizabeth (Alexis Smith) recommends him to the chief angel (Guy Kibbee) for an important mission. It seems Earth has been acting up, with “persecution and hatred everywhere”, and The Big Boss (aka God) has decided to eliminate it. Athanael is sent to play “the first four notes of the Judgment Day Overture” precisely at midnight and signal the end of the world.

Our hero lands at a swank hotel, where he’s spotted by two fallen angels (Allyn Joslyn, John Alexander) who’re comfy with their corrupt lives. Athanael saves a desperate cigarette girl (Dolores Moran) from suicide and misses his chance to blow at midnight. He loses the trumpet when he can’t pay for a meal and Elizabeth is sent to straighten out the mess. The fallen angels conspire with a slick thief (Reginald Gardner) to steal the horn. A merry mix-up ends with everyone hanging from the hotel’s rooftop scrambling for the horn.

I won’t spoil the ending, but suffice it to say Athanael wakes from his dream to deliver the punchline. There are lots of historical and heavenly puns (seeing people jitterbugging on the dance floor, Athanael exclaims “I must tell St. Vitus about this”)and plenty of silly sight gags. The score by Franz Waxman adds to the fun, aided by music cues you’ll surely recognize from Warner Brothers’ Looney Tunes (an uncredited assist from cartoon maestro Carl Stalling).

The cast is loaded with comic actors like Franklin Pangborn, Margaret Dumont, ex-wrestler Mike Mazurki, and Hollywood’s favorite souse Jack Norton. And then there’s Jack. He’s perfect in the role, and his impeccable timing, comic delivery, and that unmistakable mincing walk are on full display. Director Raoul Walsh was better known for his tough, manly films (THE ROARING 20’S, HIGH SIERRA, WHITE HEAT), but handles the comedy with a sure hand.

While THE HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT is no classic, it’s not as bad as you may have heard. It’s certainly not as bad as Jack Benny made it out to be all those years. He certainly got some mileage out of making fun of it, though. Watch and judge for yourself. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. Then again, I’m a huge Jack Benny fan, in case you haven’t guessed, so I may be a little biased.

Here’s the Trailer For Joy

Posted on July 15, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s the trailer for the latest David O. Russell/Jennifer Lawrence/Bradley Cooper/Robert De Niro film, Joy!

Joy is scheduled to be released in December, just in time for Oscar consideration and, judging from this trailer, it looks like it may just get it. After watching this, Joy has gone from being a film that I was barely aware of to being one of my most anticipated films of the year.

(That said, I still think the first trailer for American Hustle is the best trailer of Russell/Lawrence/Cooper/De Niro trilogy…)