Lisa Marie Reviews An Oscar Nominee: In Old Chicago (dir by Henry King)

Posted on January 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

One of the ten films to be nominated for Best Picture of 1937, In Old Chicago tells the story of the O’Leary family.

When we first meet the O’Learys, they’re riding across the Illinois frontier in a covered wagon. After patriarch Patrick O’Leary (J. Anthony Hughes) is killed in a freak accident, Hazel O’Leary (Alice Brady) decides to settle in the bustling town of Chicago. Hazel and her three sons build a life for themselves in a poor, largely Irish neighborhood known as the Patch. Hazel makes a living as a laundress and soon, her home is big enough for her to take in a cow named Daisy. Better not put that lantern too close to Daisy, Mrs. O’Leary….

As for the O’Leary boys, they all build a life of their own in 19th century Chicago.

Free-spirited Dion (Tyrone Power) hangs out in the saloon owned by sinister Gil Warren (Brian Donlevy) and, to his mother’s consternation, he falls for a singer named Belle (Alice Faye). Eventually, Dion and Belle open up their own saloon and go into competition with Warren. Dion soon emerges as one of the leaders of the Patch, a rogue with a charming smile and zero ethics but a total love for his family.

The youngest, Bob (Tom Brown), falls in love with a German immigrant named Gretchen (June Storey). Bob asks Gretchen to marry him while Mrs. O’Leary’s cow stares straight at camera.

Finally, the oldest of the O’Leary boys is Jack (Don Ameche). Jack become a crusading lawyer and eventually, he runs for mayor on a reform ticket. With Dion’s help, Jack is able to defeat Gil Warren. But now that Jack is mayor, he immediately sets his sights on tearing down the Patch and, in his words, “starting over.”

In Old Chicago has a two-hour running time and a lot happens in those two hours. Not only is there all the drama between the brothers but also there’s a handful of production numbers featuring Alice Faye. (Considering that she’s performing at a saloon in the slums of Chicago, it’s impressive that Belle can put on such an elaborate show.) Of course, anyone with a knowledge of history knows that every minute of In Old Chicago is building up to the moment when Mrs. O’Leary’s cow kicks over that lantern and all the wooden buildings in Chicago go up in flames. In Old Chicago is an early disaster movie and, talented cast aside, the main reason that anyone will be watching will be for the recreation of the Great Chicago Fire. As flames roar around them and cattle stampede through the streets, hundreds of extras run for their lives. As Alice Brady, Tom Brown, and Alice Faye stare off to the horizon, the city of Chicago explodes in front of them. Even today, the scenes of the city on fire are impressive.

As for the rest of the film, I enjoyed the melodramatic excess of it all. The stars weren’t exactly the most dynamic actors of the 1930s but Tyrone Power and Don Ameche were both handsome and likable enough to carry the film and it’s easy to see why In Old Chicago was, at the time of its production, the most expensive film ever made. It’s a big film, with ornate sets, hundreds of extras, and elaborate production numbers. It’s entertaining, even though I did occasionally find myself growing impatient as I waited for the fire to finally start burning.

One thing this film is not is historically accurate. Not only is it now generally agreed that Mrs. O’Leary’s cow was innocent of starting the fire but Mrs. O’Leary’s son was never mayor of Chicago. It is true that Chicago caught fire in 1871 and that the mayor turned to General Philip Sheridan (played here by Sidney Blackmer) for help in both putting out the fire and keeping order in the streets. For the most part, though, In Old Chicago is total fiction. That didn’t bother me but then again, I don’t live in Chicago.

In Old Chicago was nominated for Best Picture of the Year but lost to The Life of Emile Zola. However, Alice Brady won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.

Airplane II: The Sequel (1982, directed by Ken Finkleman)

Posted on January 2, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

It isn’t the past. It isn’t the present. It’s the future.

The moon has been colonized and, on Earth, the Mayflower II is preparing for its first international flight. It will be carrying passengers from Houston to the lunar station. Test pilot Ted Striker (Robert Hays) claims that the Mayflower II is not ready to make the trip but he’s been in the Ronald Reagan Hospital For The Mentally Ill ever since he had a nervous breakdown after losing his squadron during “the war.”

Aboard the Mayflower II is Ted’s ex-wife, Elaine (Julie Haggerty), and her new boyfriend, Simon (Chad Everett). Simon says the Mayflower II is in perfect shape but he also turns into jelly whenever things get too rough. Piloting the Mayflower II is Captain Clarence Oveur (Peter Graves) and waiting on the Moon is Commander Buck Murdock (William Shatner). The crew of the Mayflower II is going to have a tough flight ahead of them. Not only is the shipboard computer making plans of its own but one of the passengers (Sonny Bono) has a bomb in his briefcase. Also, Ted has broken out of the hospital and is on the flight, boring people with his long stories.

Every successful film gets a sequel and when Airplane! was a surprise hit in 1980, it was inevitable that there would be an Airplane II. Robert Hays, Julie Haggerty, Lloyd Bridges, Peter Graves, and Stephen Stucker all returned. Unfortunately, Jim Abrahams, the Zucker brothers, Robert Stack, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Leslie Nielsen did not. (The directors and Nielsen were all working on Police Squad and their absence is strong felt.) Airplane II recreates many of the same jokes as the first Airplane! but without the first film’s good nature or genuine affection for the disaster genre. Airplane! was made for the love of comedy. Airplane II was made for the love of money and, while there are more than a few amusing moments, the difference is obvious and there for all to see.

Not surprisingly, Airplane II is at its funniest whenever William Shatner is on screen. In the role of Bud Murdock, Shatner pokes fun at his own image and shows himself to be a good sport. He’s still not as funny as Leslie Nielsen or Robert Stack in the first film but that’s because, unlike Stack and Nielsen in their pre-Airplane! days, there had always been a hint of self-parody to Shatner, even in his most dramatic roles. If Stack and Nielsen shocked people by showing that they could do deadpan comedy, Shatner’s performance just confirmed what most suspected, that he had always been in on the joke. Still, he’s the funniest thing in Airplane II and, whenever I rewatch this movie, I am happy he was there.

Airplane II was a box office failure, which is why the world never got an Airplane III. Fortunately, the world did get Hot Shots and The Naked Gun.

Catching Up With The Films of 2024: Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (dir by George Miller)

Posted on January 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga opens with the sound of nervous Australian citizens and commentators, narrating us through the collapse of civilization. We hear about riots. We hear about the breakdown of civilization. We hear that people are literally running out of water.

It’s an effective opening but, for those of us who have seen the other movies set in the Mad Max universe, it also feels a bit redundant. We already know the story of how our world came to an end. Mad Max opened with society in its death throes. The Road Warrior and Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome both took place a few years after the apocalypse, with the majority of humanity reduced back to a feral existence of scrounging and fighting to survive. Finally, Mad Max: Fury Road took place so far in the future that the only thing that really remained of the old ways were the cars and the guns that were obsessively cared for by the inhabitants of what was once Australia. (Not even the collapse of civilization could halt car culture.)

Furiosa opens 45 years after the apocalypse, with young Furiosa (Alyla Brown) living in the Green Place, one of the few areas of Australia not to be reduced to a waterless desert. When she’s kidnapped by Dementus (Chris Hemsworth) and the Biker Horde, she can only watch in horror as her mother (Charlee Fraser) is crucified by the Horde. Dementus, who was driven mad by the death of his own family, adopts Furiosa as his own and spends years hoping that she will lead him to the Green Place. Instead, Furiosa is eventually “traded” to Dementus’s rival, Immortan Joe (Lachy Hulme), and, under the tutelage of Praetorian Jack (Tom Burke), she eventually grows up to become both Anya Taylor-Joy and the fierce warrior who was at the center of Mad Max: Fury Road.

Like that opening montage of panicky voices describing the apocalypse, Furiosa is well-made but, narratively, it can feel a bit redundant. There’s really nothing major about Furiosa’s backstory that wasn’t previously revealed in Mad Max: Fury Road. Yes, we learn the exact circumstances of how she lost her arm and it’s a scene that definitely establishes Furiosa as a badass but it’s also reveals that she lost her arm in the way that I imagine 99% of Fury Road‘s audience assumed it happened the first place. That’s the problem with both prequels and sequels. If the first movie is effective, that usually means that the audience has been given all of the information that they needed to understand a character’s past and motivation. As a result, prequels often feel narratively unnecessary. Furiosa spends the majority of this movie plotting her escape from Immortan Joe but we already know that it’s not going to happen because Furiosa still has to be at the Citadel for Fury Road.

Compared to Fury Road (in which the action took place over a handful of days as opposed to the decade that is covered in the prequel), Furiosa can feel a little slow. At times, it can even seem a bit draggy. Furiosa devotes as much time to exploring post-apocalyptic society as it does to action sequences. (It has more in common with Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome than The Road Warrior.) That said, there’s a lot about Furiosa that works wonderfully. No one directs a chase or a battle as well as George Miller. Chris Hemsworth gives a good performance as Dementus, playing him as a tyrant who learned how to lead from watching the Marvel movies that made Hemsworth famous. Hemsworth is particularly strong in his final scene with Furiosa. Dementus may be hateful but, in a strange way, he can be understood. Having lost everything he once cherished in life, Dementus’s actions are as much about his own self-destructive impulses as his own thirst for pwoer. Though she doesn’t take over the role until fairly late in the film, Anya Taylor-Joy gives a fierce performance as Furiosa. Furiosa doesn’t speak much in the film but, when she does, both Anya Taylor-Joy and Alyla Brown make those words count.

Furiosa is an uneven film that falls victim to the same trap that has hindered many prequels. But, ultimately, it’s still a watchable and frequently compelling vision of a disturbing future.

Film Review: Save The Tiger (dir by John G. Avildsen)

Posted on January 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

1973’s Save The Tiger tells the story of Harry Stoner (Jack Lemmon).

When Harry was a young man, he loved baseball and he felt like he could conquer the world. He saw combat in World War II and spent the final part of the war on the Island of Capri, recuperating after being wounded in battle. Harry went on to partner up with Phil Greene (Jack Gilford) and they started a clothing company in Los Angeles, Capri Casuals.

Now, Harry is a middle-aged man who is still haunted by nightmares about the war. He’s married. He has a daughter attending school in Switzerland. He’s respected in the industry. He lives in a nice house in Beverly Hills. And he’s totally miserable. He wakes up every day and wonders what is happening to the country. He talks about witnessing a wild pitch at a baseball game, missing the days when something like that could seem like the most important thing in his life. He spends all of his time at work, cheating to balance the books and keeping clients happy by setting them up with a sophisticated prostitute named Margo (played, with a weary cynicism, by Lara Parker).

Save The Tiger covers just a few days in the life of Harry Stoner, as he searches for some sort of meaning in his life. He gives a ride to a free-spirited hippie (Laurie Heineman) who offers to have sex with him. (Harry replies that he’s late for work.) He accepts an award at an industry dinner and, as he tries to give his acceptance speech, he is haunted by the sight of dead soldiers sitting in the audience. With Phil, he debates whether or not to balance the books by setting fire to one of their warehouses in order to collect the insurance. Harry sees a poster imploring him to “Save the Tigers.” Who can save Harry as he finds himself increasingly overwhelmed by the realities of his life?

As I watched Save the Tiger, I found myself thinking about two other films of the era that featured a middle-aged man dealing with a midlife crisis while searching for meaning in the counterculture. In Petulia and Breezy, George C. Scott and William Holden each found meaning in a relationship with a younger woman. And while Petulia and Breezy are both good films, Save The Tiger is far more realistic in its portrayal of Harry’s ennui. There is no easy solution for Harry. Even if he accepted the hippie’s offer to “ball” or if he acted on the obvious attraction between himself and Margo, one gets the feeling that Harry would still feel lost. Harry’s problem isn’t that he’s merely bored with his life. Harry’s problem is that he yearns for a past that can never be recaptured and which may only exist in his imagination. If George C. Scott and William Holden were two actors who excelled at playing characters who refused to yield to the world’s demands, Jack Lemmon was an actor who played characters who often seemed to be desperate in their search for happiness. Save The Tiger features Lemmon at his most desperate, playing a character who has yielded so often and compromised so much that he now has nowhere left to go.

It’s not exactly a cheerful film but it is one that sticks with you. Jack Lemmon won his second Oscar for his performance as Harry and he certainly deserved it. Lemmon does a wonderful job generating some sympathy for a character who is not always particularly likable. Many of Harry’s problems are due to his own bad decisions. No one forced him to use “ballet with the books” to keep his business open and no one is forcing him to hire arsonist Charlie Robbins (Thayer David, giving a performance that is both witty and sinister at the same time) to burn down not only his warehouse but also an adjoining business that belongs to an acquaintance. Harry could admit the truth and shut down his business but then how would he afford the home in Beverly Hills and all the other symbols of his success? Harry yearns for a time when he was young and his decisions didn’t have consequences but that time has passed.

This isn’t exactly the type of film that many would expect from the director of Rocky but director John G. Avildsen does a good job of putting the viewer into Harry’s seedy world. I especially liked Avilden’s handling of the scene where Harry hallucinates a platoon of wounded soldiers listening to his awards speech. Instead of lingering on the soldiers, Avildsen instead uses a series of a quick cuts that initially leave the audience as confused as Harry as to what Harry is seeing. Both Rocky and Save The Tiger are about a man who refuses to give up. The difference is that perhaps Harry Stoner should.

“You can’t play with us, mister!” a kid yells at Harry when he attempts to recreate the wild pitch that so impressed him as a youth. In the end, Harry is a man trapped by his memories of the past and his dissatisfaction with the present. He’s made his decisions and he’ll have to live with the consequences but one is left with the knowledge that, no matter what happens, Harry will be never find the happiness or the satisfaction that he desires. The tigers can be saved but Harry might be a lost cause.

FROM NOON TILL THREE (1976) – Charles Bronson, the comedian??!

Posted on January 2, 2025 by Bradley Crain

During the height of his popularity in 1976, Charles Bronson tried something quite different with this romantic comedy costarring his wife Jill Ireland. And to be honest, he’s darn funny in the role. This movie has grown on me over the years.

Bronson plays Graham Dorsey, a bank robber who spends an afternoon with the lonely widow Amanda Starbuck (Ireland) while his gang is robbing a bank in town. After his gang is all killed during the robbery, Dorsey must take off and go into hiding, eventually being arrested for impersonating a quack dentist. While he’s in jail, and through a variety of circumstances, a book is written about their afternoon together and it becomes an international sensation. As soon as Dorsey gets out of jail, he goes back to Starbuck’s home to rekindle their affair. Unfortunately for Dorsey, the book has created such a legend of him and their affair that Ms. Starbuck doesn’t even recognize the man he really is. His method of convincing her that he’s the “real” Graham Dorsey is the funniest moment in Bronson’s entire filmography.

Charles Bronson & Jill Ireland are clearly having a wonderful time making this movie together, which is one of the main reasons I enjoy the film. He may not have done it often, but Bronson could play comedy and he’s excellent in this film cast completely against his normal type. Jill Ireland is also very good as the widow Starbuck and her rendition of the song “Hello and Goodbye” was even nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Song. We had the privilege of interviewing Jill Ireland’s niece, Lindsay Ireland, and she told us of singing this song with her aunt Jill and her cousin when she would spend summers with them in Vermont in the 70’s. It’s so fun for me to hear firsthand about those times when the Bronson’s were one of the biggest celebrity couples of the world! The best part, Bronson valued his time with his family over anything else. They were everything to him.

**BONUS CONTENT** – I’ve included a link to the “This Week in Charles Bronson” podcast episode where Lindsay Ireland describes her time with her aunt Jill Ireland, and how they would sing “Hello & Goodbye,” the song that was in FROM NOON TILL THREE, while they were driving down the roads in Vermont. It’s a really nice insight into Jill Ireland.

Film Review: The Don Is Dead (dir by Richard Fleischer)

Posted on January 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“The Don is Dead!” shouts the title of this 1973 film and it’s not lying.

After the powerful and respect leader of the Regalbuto crime family dies, the Mafia’s governing body meets in Las Vegas to debate who should be allowed to take over the family’s operations. Frank Regalbuto (a smoldering Robert Forster) wants to take over the family but it’s agreed that he’s still too young and hot-headed. Instead, control of the family is given Don Angelo DiMorra (Anthony Quinn), an old school Mafia chieftain who everyone agrees is a man of respect. Don DiMorra will serve as a mentor to Frank while Frank’s main enforcers, The Fargo Brothers, will be allowed to operate independently with the understanding that they will still respond if the mob needs them to do a job. Tony Fargo (Forrest) wants to get out of the rackets all together while his older brother, Vince (Al Lettieri), remains loyal to the old ways of doing things.

Frank is not happy with the arrangement but he has other things to worry about. He knows that there’s a traitor in his family. While he and the Fargo brothers work to uncover the man’s identity so that they can take their revenge, Don Angelo falls in love with a Vegas showgirl named Ruby Dunne (Angel Tompkins). However, Ruby is engaged to marry Frank and, when Frank returns from taking care of the traitor, he is tipped off as to what has been happening in his absence. Frank goes crazy, nearly beating Ruby to death. Don Angelo declares war on Frank and the Fargo brothers are forced to decide which side they’ll serve.

In the 1970s, almost every crime film was either a rip-off of The French Connection or The Godfather. The Don Is Dead is unique in that it attempts to rip off both of them at the same time. The film opens French Connection-style with a couple of hoods trying to double-cross Frank during a drug deal, leading to shoot-out. (Keep an eye out for Sid Haig as one of Frank’s men.) The film is full of scenes that are meant to duplicate the gritty feel of The French Connection though, needless to say, none of them are directed with the cinema verité intensity that William Friedkin brought to that classic film. Meanwhile, Anthony Quinn plays a character who is very much reminiscent of Don Vito Corleone, even pausing at one point to tell Frank that “drugs are a dirty business.” The Godfather‘s Abe Vigoda and Al Lettieri show up in supporting roles and Robert Forster gives a performance that owes more than a little to James Caan’s Oscar-nominated turn as Sonny Corleone. (Interestingly enough, both Quinn and Forster were among the many actors considered for roles in The Godfather.)

Unfortunately, the film itself is slowly-paced and never really draws us into the plot. Director Richard Fleischer, who directed a lot of films without ever developing a signature style, brings none of the intensity that William Friedkin brough to The French Connection nor can he duplicate Francis Ford Coppola’s operatic grandeur. The Don is Dead plays out like a particularly violent made-for-TV movie. There’s a lot of talented people in the cast but they’re defeated by thinly drawn characters. Robert Evans often said that Coppola was hired to direct The Godfather because, as an Italian-American, he would bring an authenticity to the material that a non-Italian director would not be able to do. The Don Is Dead would seem to indicate that Evans knew what he was talking about.

Insomnia File #66: Ghosts Can’t Do It (dir by John Derek)

Posted on January 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or streaming? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

If you find yourself having trouble getting to sleep tonight or tomorrow, you may want to try watching 1989’s Ghosts Can’t Do It. It won’t necessarily put you to sleep but it will give you something to ponder while you lie in bed and stare up at the ceiling. For instance, how exactly did this movie get produced without anyone coming up with a better title than Ghosts Can’t Do It?

Bo Derek plays Kate, the wife of elderly billionaire Scott (played by Anthony Quinn, who appears to be drunk in the majority of his scenes). Despite their age difference, Kate and Scott are deeply in love. When they’re not playing in the snow and riding horses around the ranch, they’re having sex. “Sex, sex, sex, sex!” the movie seems to chant in almost every scene. But then Anthony Quinn has a heart attack, which in this film means that he spends what appears to be hours lying in the snow while trading jokes with Kate. (It’s important to be able to joke with your partner but if my man had a heart attack, my first reaction would be to get a doctor.)

Scott survives his heart attack but he’s told that, in his weakened state, he can no longer have sex. Also, he can’t get a new heart because he’s too old. Facing a future without sex, Scott shoots himself. Fortunately, Scott’s guardian angel (Julie Newmar) takes sympathy on him and sends his spirt back down to Earth. Only Kate can see and hear him and, while she’s happy to be reunited with him, they are both upset to discover that ghosts can’t do it.

Scott comes up with a plan. Kate needs to find a young, virile lover and then murder him so that Scott can possess his body and then he and Kate can have sex whenever they feel like it. Because that plan makes total sense and there’s no way that it could lead to Kate’s soul being damned to an eternity in Hell, Kate agrees. Kate travels the world, having sex and looking for a man who will be able to please her after she has murdered him. Eventually, Kate meets a charming young criminal named Fausto (Leo Damian) and decides that he’ll do. Scott can’t wait to inhabit Fausto’s body but Kate suddenly realizes that she might not have it in her to be a murderer! Well, she’ll never know unless she tries. (I never thought that I would be able to shoot down a drone but then, one night in December….)

While all of this is going on, Kate is handling Scott’s business affairs. This leads to a meeting with a famous and ruthless businessman named Donald Trump. Yes, the 45 and 47th President of the United States plays himself in this film. Kate and Trump meet in a conference room to discuss a deal. Kate mentions that she read Trump’s book. Trump smiles and nods. They have hard-boiled business dialogue. Kate tells Trump that he’s “too pretty” to be as ruthless as he is. ‘You noticed,” Trump says. It’s a pretty dumb scene but, from a historical point-of-view, it’s a reminder of the fact that, long before he was elected President, Trump was already a ubiquitous figure on the American pop cultural scene.

Ghosts Can’t Do It is definitely a misfire, albeit one that is such a huge misfire that it become interesting in the same way that trainwrecks are often interesting. Almost everything about it, from the dialogue to the attempts at humor to the nearly unreadable font that is used for the opening credits, feels wrong. There is one brief moment that works, in which Kate dances with her ghost husband and, for the first and only time in the film, we see a flicker of genuine chemistry between Bo Derek and Anthony Quinn. (Bo Derek, I will mention, is not quite as bad an actress as her reputation suggests. It’s just that she should have been playing campy soap opera villainesses on late night television as opposed to starring in her husband’s crackpot films.) Otherwise, this movie is perhaps the worst movie to ever feature both a two-time Oscar winner and a future President. And, for that reason, it’s a watchable curiosity. It’s just what insomnia demands.

Previous Insomnia Files:

Story of Mankind
Stag
Love Is A Gun
Nina Takes A Lover
Black Ice
Frogs For Snakes
Fair Game
From The Hip
Born Killers
Eye For An Eye
Summer Catch
Beyond the Law
Spring Broke
Promise
George Wallace
Kill The Messenger
The Suburbans
Only The Strong
Great Expectations
Casual Sex?
Truth
Insomina
Death Do Us Part
A Star is Born
The Winning Season
Rabbit Run
Remember My Name
The Arrangement
Day of the Animals
Still of The Night
Arsenal
Smooth Talk
The Comedian
The Minus Man
Donnie Brasco
Punchline
Evita
Six: The Mark Unleashed
Disclosure
The Spanish Prisoner
Elektra
Revenge
Legend
Cat Run
The Pyramid
Enter the Ninja
Downhill
Malice
Mystery Date
Zola
Ira & Abby
The Next Karate Kid
A Nightmare on Drug Street
Jud
FTA
Exterminators of the Year 3000
Boris Karloff: The Man Behind The Monster
The Haunting of Helen Walker
True Spirit
Project Kill
Replica
Rollergator
Hillbillys In A Haunted House
Once Upon A Midnight Scary
Girl Lost

Documentary Review: Chariots of the Gods (dir by Harald Reinl)

Posted on January 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

First released in 1970, the German documentary Chariots of the Gods tests the proposition that you can prove anything with stock footage and a narrator.

Chariots of the Gods takes viewers on a tour through some of the most visually impressive locations ever seen by human eyes. Look at the ruins of the Aztec and Inca civilizations! Behold a Mayan observatory! Marvel at Egypt’s pyramids! Trace the amazing Nazca Lines of South America! View the amazing “heads” of Easter Island! Be amazed that an ancient civilization was able to create a primitive battery! Feast your eyes upon colorful cave drawings of mythic beasts and powerful wizards! Examine this skull of a 200,000 year-old bison and think about just how long living things have inhabited this amazing planet!

And then read the ancient texts and consider how every civilization wrote of certain shared events, suggesting that the legendary cataclysms of mythology were based on things that actually happened. Read the words of men and women who lived centuries ago and consider that humans have always been trying to figure out how things work. Humans have always been curious and imaginative creatures and the fact that, from the beginning of time, they were inspired to record their stories indicates that we have an instinctual understanding of the importance of history.

It takes your breath away but, according to this documentary, it shouldn’t.

All of those things that you think humans did? According to Chariots of the Gods, it was the aliens. The aliens built the pyramids. The aliens inspired the cave drawings. All of those ancient texts are actually about spaceships landing on Earth and the aliens saying, “Hi.” The great flood that appears in both the Bible and the epic of Gilgamesh? Aliens! Enoch’s journey into Heaven? Aliens! Elijah’s ascension? Aliens! The Nazca lines? An alien airport! The statues of Easter Island? Alien robots! Chariots of the Gods opens by suggesting that the human race is basically just a big cargo cult, worshipping stuff left behind by the aliens.

Seriously, what a depressing way to look at the world! Instead of marveling at the determination of ancient man, this documentary says that the whole thing was done by aliens and the humans were apparently just standing off to the side. Forget about celebrating ingenuity and imagination. The aliens did it all and all of the ancient stories and all of the cave drawings should be taken very literally because it’s not like the ancient artists could have just been really talented or creative. Instead, when the authors of the Epic of Gilgamesh wrote about Gilgamesh floating over the Earth, it was because it really happened! Imagination had nothing to do with it.

In the tradition of most pseudoscience documents, Chariots of the Gods is one of those documentaries that makes its point by basically refusing to accept that any other viable theories exist. Repeatedly, we’re flatly told that “scientists agree….,” as if every scientist has signed off on the idea of ancient aliens. The documentary’s narrator often informs us that there’s no way ancient people could have constructed and moved giant statues or monuments but he fails to mention that numerous studies that have argued and demonstrated that actually ancient people could very well have done all of that. Essentially, Chariots of the Gods is a travelogue in which we are shown stock footage of some really cool sights while the narrator says, “I bet an alien did that!”

Silly as it was, Chariots of the Gods was still a box office hit and it was nominated for Best Documentary Feature. It’s pseudoscientific legacy lives on today.

January True Crime: Shoot First: A Cop’s Vengeance (dir by Mel Damski)

Posted on January 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Made for television in 1991 and possessing a rather unwieldy title, Shoot First: A Cop’s Vengeance tells the story of two friends in San Antonio in the early 80s.

Farrell Tucker (Dale Midkiff) and Stephen Smith (Alex McArthur) are both cops. They entered the police academy together, they graduated as a part of the same class, and they both hope to be partners while working to keep the streets of San Antonio safe. Tucker is laid back and friendly and not one to worry too much about following all of the regulations. Stephen Smith, on the other hand, is uptight and, at first, by-the-book. He grew up in a poverty-stricken, crime-riddled neighborhood and it left a definite impression on him. He hates crime and criminals but what he really can’t stand is a justice system that seems to be more concerned with the victimizers than with the victims. Tucker and Smith enjoy spending their time together, drinking at the local cop bars and practicing their shooting on the weekends. Tucker’s not much of a shot, whereas Smith is a sharpshooter who rarely misses.

At first, no one notices or even cares that some of San Antonio’s less upstanding citizens are getting gunned down in the streets. But when Smith somehow manages to be first on the scene to a series of shootings, it gets the attention of Internal Affairs. With Sergeant Nicholas (Terry O’Quinn) investigating the possibility of a cop-turned-vigilante and Chief Hogan (G.D. Spradlin) announcing that no one is above the law, Smith starts to get a bit paranoid and Tucker is forced to consider that his friend could very well be a murderer.

And, of course, Tucker’s right! The first scene features Tucker confronting Smith and then the majority of the film is told in flashback. Even if not for that narrative choice, one could guess at Smith’s guilt just from the title of the film. When Shoot First: A Cop’s Vengeance was released on home video, the title was changed to Vigilante Cop, which made Smith’s guilt even more obvious. Finally, some viewers will guess that Smith is guilty because the film is based on a true story. Officer Stephen Smith actually did go on a killing spree, gunning down men who he felt had escaped the law and even sending threatening letters to his chief when the latter announced that vigilante activity would not be tolerated. Officer Stephen Smith went from being a follower of the rules to someone who attempted to write his own rules. It’s an interesting story for anyone who wants to google it.

As for the film, it’s adequate without being particularly memorable. Alex McArthur and Dale Midkiff both give good performance as Tucker and Smith and the cast is full of talented people like Terry O’Quinn, G.D. Spradlin, Bruce McGill, and Lynn Lowry. Observant viewers will even notice a long-haired Jeremy Davies, showing up for a split-second. I liked the performance of Loryn Locklin, as the waitress who marries Smith and then discovers that her charming husband actually has some very serious issues. The main problem with the film is that the story moves a bit too slowly for its own good and some of the Texas accents were more than a little dodgy. If you’re looking for an action film, this won’t be for you, though the shootings are surprisingly graphic for something that was made for television. Shoot First: A Cop’s Vengeance is a rather routine telling of an interesting story.

The Unnominated: Mean Streets (dir by Martin Scorsese)

Posted on January 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Though the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences claim that the Oscars honor the best of the year, we all know that there are always worthy films and performances that end up getting overlooked. Sometimes, it’s because the competition too fierce. Sometimes, it’s because the film itself was too controversial. Often, it’s just a case of a film’s quality not being fully recognized until years after its initial released. This series of reviews takes a look at the films and performances that should have been nominated but were, for whatever reason, overlooked. These are the Unnominated.

“Honorable men go with honorable men.” — Giovanni Cappa

1973’s Mean Streets is a story about Little Italy. The neighborhood may only be a small part of the sprawling metropolis of New York but, as portrayed in this film, it’s a unique society of its very own, with its own laws and traditions. It’s a place where the old ways uneasily mix with the new world. The neighborhood is governed by old-fashioned mafiosos like Giovanni Cappa (Cesare Danova), who provide “protection” in return for payment. The streets are full of men who are all looking to prove themselves, often in the most pointlessly violent way possible. When a drunk (David Carradine) is shot in the back by a teenage assassin (Robert Carradine), no one bothers to call the police or even questions why the shooting happened. Instead, they discuss how impressed they were with the drunk’s refusal to quickly go down. When a soldier (Harry Northup) is given a party to welcome him home from Vietnam, no one is particularly shocked when the solider turns violent. Violence is a part of everyday life.

Charlie Cappa (Harvey Keitel) is Giovanni’s nephew, a 27 year-old man who still lives at home with his mother and who still feels guilty for having “impure” thoughts. Charlie prays in church and then goes to work as a collector for Giovanni. Giovanni is grooming Charlie to take over a restaurant, not because Charlie is particularly talented at business but just because Charlie is family. Giovanni warns Charlie not to get involved with Teresa (Amy Robinson) because Teresa has epilepsy and is viewed as being cursed. And Giovanni particularly warns Charlie not to hang out with Teresa’s cousin, Johnny Boy (Robert De Niro). Johnny Boy may be charismatic but everyone in the neighborhood knows that he’s out-of-control. His idea of a good time is to blow up mailboxes and shoot out street lamps. Charlie, who is so obsessed with sin and absolution that he regularly holds his hand over an open flame to experience the Hellfire that awaits the unrepentant sinner, finds himself falling in love with Teresa (though it’s debatable whether Charlie truly understands what love is) and trying to save Johnny Boy.

Charlie has other friends as well. Tony (David Proval) runs the bar where everyone likes to hang out and he seems to be the most stable of the characters in Mean Streets. He’s at peace with both the neighborhood and his place in it. Meanwhile, Michael (Robert Romanus) is a loan shark who no one seems to have much respect for, though they’re still willing to spend the afternoon watching a Kung Fu movie with him. Michael knows that his career is dependent on intimidation. He can’t let anyone get away with not paying back their money, even if they are a friend. Johnny Boy owes Michael a lot of money and he hasn’t paid back a single dollar. Johnny Boy always has an excuse for why he can’t pay back Michael but it’s obvious that he just doesn’t want to. Charlie realizes that it’s not safe for Johnny Boy in Little Italy but where else can he go? Brooklyn?

Mean Streets follows Charlie and his friends as they go about their daily lives, laughing, arguing, and often fighting. All of the characters in Mean Streets enjoy a good brawl, despite the fact that none of them are as tough as their heroes. A chaotic fight in a pool hall starts after someone takes offense to the word “mook,” despite the fact that no one can precisely define what a mook is. The fights goes on for several minutes before the police show up to end it and accept a bribe. After the cops leave, the fight starts up again. What’s interesting is that the people fighting don’t really seem to be that angry with each other. Fighting is simply a part of everyday life. Everyone is aggressive. To not fight is to be seen as being weak and no one is willing to risk that.

Mean Streets was Martin Scorsese’s third film (fourth, if you count the scenes he shot before being fired from The Honeymoon Killers) but it’s the first of his movies to feel like a real Scorsese film. Scorsese’s first film, Who’s That Knocking On My Door?, has its moments and feels like a dry run for Mean Streets but it’s still obviously an expanded student film. Boxcar Bertha was a film that Scorsese made for Roger Corman and it’s a film that could have just as easily been directed by Jonathan Demme or any of the other young directors who got their start with Corman. But Mean Streets is clearly a Scorsese film, both thematically and cinematically. Scorsese’s camera moves from scene to scene with an urgent confidence and the scene where Charlie first enters Tony’s bar immediately brings to mind the classic tracking shots from Goodfellas, Taxi Driver, and Casino. One gets the feeling that Pete The Killer is lurking somewhere in the background. The scenes between Keitel and De Niro are riveting. Charlie attempts to keep his friend from further antagonizing Michael while Johnny Boy tells stories that are so long and complicated that he himself can’t keep up with all the details. Charlie hold everything back while Johnny Boy always seems to be on the verge of exploding. De Niro’s performance as Johnny Boy is one that has been duplicated but never quite matched by countless actors since then. He’s the original self-destructive fool, funny, charismatic, and ultimately terrifying with his self-destructive energy.

Mean Streets was Scorsese’s first box office success and it was also the film that first brought him widespread critical acclaim. However, in a year when the totally forgotten A Touch of Class was nominated for Best Picture, Mean Streets did not receive a single Oscar nomination, not even for De Niro’s performance. Fortunately, by the time Mean Streets was released, De Niro had already started work on another film about the Mafia and Little Italy, The Godfather Part II.