The TSL’s Grindhouse: The Final Terror (dir by Andrew Davis)

Posted on October 10, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Marco!?”

“Melanie!?”

“Margaret!?”

“Dennis!?”

“Eggar!?”

“Windy!?”

If you watch the 1983’s The Final Terror, be prepared to frequently hear the names of the film’s characters. For a slasher film about a bunch of campers wandering through the forest, The Final Terror has a surprisingly large cast and they all spend a good deal of time walking around and yelling out each other’s names. Somehow, people keep getting lost even though they know that there’s a killer out there and they all really should be sticking together.

Interestingly enough, for a slasher film, there aren’t that many deaths. The majority of the cast survives. Even the most obnoxious of the campers, the one who seems like an obvious victim, manages to make it through to the finale. I guess we should be happy that most of them survived and this was apparently their final terror. The majority of the campers were teenagers and if you’re having your surviving your final terror when you’re not even old enough to drink yet …. well, consider yourself lucky.

The Final Terror is set up like an entry in the Friday the 13th franchise but it’s never anywhere close to being as sleazy as those films. Whether that’s a good or a bad thing depends on what you, as a viewer, want in terms of a wilderness slasher film. If you want lots of sex, blood, and people making stupid decisions, The Final Terror will probably bore you to death, despite the fact that it includes all three. If you want a relatively realistic film about being lost in the wilderness while being stalked by an unseen killer, you’ll probably appreciate The Final Terror. This film was directed Andrew Davis, who went on to direct several big budget Hollywood action films. Before he became an action director, though, he worked as an assistant to cinematographer Haskell Wexler on the semi-documentary Medium Cool. Davis brings that realistic style to The Final Terror. Even though the film does feature some familiar faces, it’s easy to believe that you’re just watching a bunch of campers trying to survive for the weekend.

As for the cast, Rachel Ward plays one of the leaders of the campers. Joe Pantoliano makes an early appearance as the creepy Eggar. Daryl Hannah plays Windy. Mark Metcalf plays another camper named Mike. The entire ensemble actually does a pretty good job. As I said, you really do believe that the majority of the cast are delinquent teenagers who have been sent on a camping trip. When they work together to keep someone from bleeding to death, it almost feels like an educational film. “Because the campers worked together,” you can imagine a narrator saying, “they might survive The Final Terror.”

The Final Terror is not bad, though I have to admit that I like my 80s slashers to be a little bit more sordid. But for what it is — an attempt to take a realistic approach to a genre that is regularly held in dismissive disdain — The Final Terror works surprisingly well. As captured by Andrew Davis, the wilderness is both beautiful and terrifying. You’ll never catch me camping!

International Horror Review: Robo Vampire (dir by Godfrey Ho)

Posted on October 10, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh, hey, Robo Vampire!

Yeah, Robo Vampire.

Robo. Vampire.

It gets less exciting every time you say or think it. The first time you see a title like Robo Vampire, you’re all excited but then you think about it and you realize that there’s no reason for a robot to turn into a vampire because robots don’t need blood. And the idea of a vampire becoming a robot …. I mean, how the Hell would that even work?

I watched Robo Vampire and I’m still not really sure how it all worked. This film came out in 1988 and it was directed by Godfrey Ho, who is apparently known in some circles as being the Ed Wood of Hong Kong action cinema. The film …. listen, I watched this thing and I don’t have the slightest idea what was actually happening for the majority of it. The friends with whom I watched the film explained to me that Robo Vampire was actually a compilation film, compiled of scenes that were shot for several different Godfrey Ho movies. That would explain why there was next to no continuity for scene to scene and why the plot was the most random hodgepodge of concepts that I’ve ever some across.

What little plot that there was in this mess dealt with Tom Wilde, a narcotics cop who gets blown away in the line of duty. However, Tom’s superiors decided that they can salvage him by turning him into a robot with no memories of his past. Before you can say “Wait a minute, what about Robocop?,” that’s exactly what they do. Tom is now a cyborg. For his first mission, he’s sent to the Golden Triangle to take down a drug lord who is holding another agent hostage.

So far, we’ve got a robot. But where are the vampires?

The vampires show up once the drug lord realizes that he’s going to need some help defeating a robot. So, he has his people cast come magic and soon, there’s a bunch of zombie/vampires hopping around. And when I say hopping, I mean that they literally hop around. I noticed the same thing about the zombies in Kung Fu Zombie. In the defense of that film, though, Kung Fu Zombie was kind of meant to be a comedy. Robo Vampire seems to take itself pretty seriously. (Watching the film, I thought I recognized a few shots that had apparently been lifted from Kung Fu Zombie but I haven’t been able to independently verify whether that’s really the case. Some day, when I think I can handle the punishment, I’ll sit down and watch Kung Fu Zombie and then Robo Vampire and compare the two for myself.)

Eventually, Tom gets around to launching his rescue operation. There’s a lot of shooting. There’s a lot of scenes of Robot Tom wandering around robotically. There’s a lot of hopping vampires or zombies or whatever they’re supposed to be. But, as far as I can tell, there were no robot vampires. Now, I say as far as I can tell because the film was edited so haphazardly that it wouldn’t surprise me to discover that there was like a hundred different versions of Robo Vampire floating around. Who knows what have happened in the director’s cut?

Anyway, Robo Vampire is petty much impossible to follow and the film does itself no favors by inviting you to compare it to the original Robocop. That said, the hopping vampires were kind of cute and this is truly a one of a kind movie. You should watch it just so you can say that you did.

Horror Film Review: Mr. Sardonicus (dir by William Castle)

Posted on October 10, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The next time that someone gives me a hard time for not being compassionate enough (and believe it or not, it does occasionally happen now that 90% of twitter has gone down the woke rabbit hole), I’m going to point out that I voted to show mercy to Mr. Sardonicus.

Played in villainous fashion by Guy Rolfe, Mr. Sardonicus was the title character of a 1961 film that was produced and directed by William Castle. Castle was known for being the king of the gimmick. His gimmick for Mr. Sardonicus was that, upon entering the theater, members of the audience were given two cards. One card had a thumbs up. One card had a thumbs down. Towards the end of the film, the avuncular Mr. Castle appeared onscreen and announced that it was time for the audience to vote. Should Mr. Sardonicus be punished for his sins or should he be shown mercy? Thumbs up for mercy. Thumbs down for punishment. After taking the vote, Castle said, “Projectionist, play the reel.”

Now, of course, Castle only shot one ending and that was the ending where Mr. Sardonicus was punished. To make sure the audience would vote the right way, Castle made Sardonicus into one of the most loathsome villains around. Mr. Sardonicus — or Baron Sardonicus, as he preferred to be called — lived in a castle in the 1880s. Not only did he torture his servants with leeches but he was also responsible for death of several dogs, all of which were killed as a part of his dastardly experiments. To make it even worse, he wasn’t even a member of the nobility! He stole his title! It turned out that Mr. Sardonicus has once been a simple farmer who allowed his greed to get the better of him. When his father was buried with a lottery ticket, Mr. Sardonicus dug up the old man to retrieve the ticket. The shock of seeing his father’s skull caused Mr. Sardonicus’s face to freeze into a twisted grimace. When the film begins, Mr. Sardonicus wears a mask and desperately wants to be cured of his affliction.

To try to convince Sir Robert Cargrave (Ronald Lewis) to cure his condition, Mr. Sardonicus is holding the woman that Sir Robert loves, Maude (Audrey Dalton), prisoner in a loveless marriage. With the help of his evil servant, Krull (Oskar Homolka), Mr. Sardonicus torments the villagers and anyone else unlucky enough to come near the castle.

And yet, when I watched this movie last night with the Late Night Movie Gang, I voted to show compassion to Mr. Sardonicus because I’m a firm believer both in criminal justice reform and that almost anyone can be rehabilitated. Perhaps Mr. Sardonicus just needed someone to say that they believed he could be a better man. I was willing to do that. However, the rest of the Late Night Movie Gang voted to punish him. I think it was the dead dogs that sealed the deal. So, sorry, Mr. Sardonicus. I tried.

Even before William Castle tells everyone to vote, Mr. Sardonicus is enjoyably over-the-top and silly horror film. It plays out like an extended episode of Twilight Zone, with every action that Mr. Sardonicus takes bringing him closer to karma’s judgment. Guy Rolfe is properly evil and arrogant Sardonicus and Oskar Homolka gets many of the best lines as the servant who may not be as loyal as he seems.

Mr. Sardonicus is currently on YouTube. Watch and vote for yourself!

Horror Scenes That I Love: The Leader Explains Things To Eros From Plan 9 From Outer Space

Posted on October 10, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I know that some people claim that the alien’s plot in Ed Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space makes no sense. How, they ask, would bringing the dead back to life prevent the creation of the Solarnite Bomb?

Well, here to explain things, is the alien leader himself.

From Plan From Outer Space, here’s a scene that I love:

4 Shots From 4 Ed Wood Films

Posted on October 10, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, we continue to pay tribute to the great Edward D. Wood, Jr. with….

4 Shots From From 4 Ed Wood Films

Glen or Glenda (1953, dir by Ed Wood, DP: William C. Thompson)

Bride of the Monster (1955, dir by Edward D. Wood, Jr., DP: Ted Allan and William C. Thompson)

Plan 9 From Outer Space (1957, dir by Edward D. Wood, Jr., DP: William C. Thompson)

Night of the Ghouls (1959, dir by Ed Wood, DP: William C. Thompson)

Horror on the Lens: Plan 9 From Outer Space (dir by Edward D. Wood, Jr.)

Posted on October 10, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Viewing Plan 9 From Outer Space during October is a bit of a tradition around these parts and here at the Shattered Lens, we’re all about tradition. And since today is the 97th anniversary of the birth of Ed Wood, Jr., it just seems appropriate to watch his best-known film.

Speaking of tradition, this 1959 sci-fi/horror flick is traditionally cited as the worst film ever made but I don’t quite agree. For one thing, the film is way too low-budget to be fairly judged against other big budget fiascoes. If I have to watch a bad movie, I’ll always go for the low budget, independent feature as opposed to the big studio production. To attack Ed Wood for making a bad film is to let every other bad filmmaker off the hook. Ed Wood had his problems but he also had a lot of ambition and a lot of determination and, eventually, a lot of addictions. One thing that is often forgotten by those who mock Ed Wood is that he drank himself to death and died living in squalor. The least we can do is cut the tragic figure some slack.

Plan 9 From Outer Space is a ludicrous film but it’s also a surprisingly ambitious one and it’s got an anti-war, anti-military message so all of you folks who have hopped down the progressive rabbit hole over the past few years should have a new appreciation for this film. I mean, do you want the government to blow up a Solarnite bomb? DO YOU!?

Also, Gregory Walcott actually did a pretty good job in the lead role. He was one of the few members of the cast to have a mainstream film career after Plan 9.

Finally, Plan 9 is a tribute to one man’s determination to bring his vision to life. Ed Wood tried and refused to surrender and made a film with a message that he believed in and, for that, he deserves to be remembered.

Now, sit back, and enjoy a little Halloween tradition. Take it away, Criswell!

Can you prove it didn’t happen?

WELL, CAN YOU!?

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/3/21 — 10/9/21

Posted on October 9, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This has been a busy week. Along with dealing with the Hole of Death, I also took my Dad to and from the chiropractor on Tuesday. I’ve always been trying to keep up with my horrorthon commitments so I didn’t watch much TV. That’s probably a good thing.

(“Girl, you watch too much TV!” as my friend Marty would say.)

Here’s a few thoughts on what I did watch:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

Rene had to take pictures of the secret meeting. Luckily, Michelle of the Resistance supplied him with a totally obvious hidden camera. He had to hide it under his apron. How would he operate the bulky camera without anyone noticing, you may be asking. Michelle also supplied Rene with a fake arm. Rene went through with it because, as Michelle and others often point out, Rene is the bravest man in France.

Bachelor in Paradise (Tuesday Night, ABC)

It’s now safe to return to the beach. Bachelor in Paradise is over …. for now! Three couples got engaged so I guess we won’t see any of them next season. I’m joking, of course. They’ll all probably be back next season, even more bitter than ever.

Baywatch (Weekday Evenings, H&I)

While I was cleaning around the house on Sunday, I turned the TV on and had Baywatch going in the background. It was the pilot film, Panic at Malibu Pier. The Hoff tried to get used to being in charge while Madchen Amick stalked a lifeguard.

Columbo (YouTube)

Peter Falk vs. Donald Pleasence! My friend Mark suggested this episode to me after I shared a scene of Pleasence from Wake in Fight. It’s a terrifically entertaining episode and guess what? You can watch it here on the Shattered Lens!

Dancing With The Stars (Monday Night, ABC)

It was Britney night! I was too busy dancing myself to pay too much attention to the dancers on the show.

Flight of the Conchords (Friday Night, HBOMax)

After “dissing” several rappers, Bret formed a gang for his own protection. Stay cool, Murray!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

This is an entertaining show and I’ve been having fun highlighting here on the Shattered Lens. Yes, I totally relate to Micki. We both have red hair and a desire to collect cursed antiques.

Law & Order: Criminal Intent (Tuesday Afternoon, Sundance Channel)

I took my Dad to and from the chiropractor on Tuesday. The television in the waiting room was tuned to the Sundance Channel and while I waited for my Dad to return, I watched two episodes of Law & Order: CI. They were obviously very early episodes, as Vincent D’Onofrio was still slightly restrained in his performance as Goren. One of the episodes featured a killer doctor and was kind of disturbing to watch in a doctor’s office. Choosing what to show in the waiting room of an office is an underrated skill. I usually go with one of the retro stations. The shows may not be challenging but they’re also designed not to cause any undue worry.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Arkwright, that old perv, finally got to go away with nurse Gladys Emmanuel for the weekend. Nothing happened, though. The nurse really seems to be leading Arkwright on, perhaps hoping that someone who isn’t a sociopathic shopkeeper will show an interest in her. Meanwhile, Granville continued to listen to the voices in his head, undoubtedly imploring him to burn everything to the ground.

Parking Wars (Weekday Mornings, A&E)

Apparently, A&E shows episodes of Parking Wars of every morning. I watched two episodes while I was working from home on Monday morning. In the first episode, the people at the impound lot had to deal with an irate “customer.” Apparently, we were supposed to feel bad for the poor little government quislings who were having to deal with the citizens whose lives they make miserable.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about this week’s episode of Survivor here!

Talking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

Chris Hardwicke, who has gone back to being clean-shaven, spent some time talking about Walking Dead, which was cool. But then he spent even more time trying to get the audience hyped up for Walking Dead: World Beyond and that just felt awkward.

The Walking Dead (Sunday Night, AMC)

I wrote about this week’s episode here!

Walking Dead: World Beyond (Sunday Night, AMC)

I hate to be rude but what the Hell is this? I guess this show started during my temporary hiatus from all things related to The Walking Dead. According to Wikipedia, World Beyond is in its seconds season. AMC advertises the show by saying, “And now, the final season Walking Dead: World Beyond,” as if this show is some sort of landmark event as opposed to just a rather cynical spin-off from one mighty work of pop culture.

Anyway, as far as i can tell, Walking Dead: World Beyond is like a YA version of The Walking Dead. Instead of adults killing each other and having endless discussions about the ethics of it all, it’s teenagers. But, from what I saw of the show, it seems like a pretty pale imitation of The Walking Dead and, unlike Fear The Walking Dead, it doesn’t really add anything new to the story. So, I don’t know if I’ll bother to set the DVR for any more episodes of Walking Dead: World Beyond. I imagine I will but I probably won’t be very happy about it.

Horror on TV: Friday the 13th The Series 1.14 “Bedazzled” (dir by Alexander Singer)

Posted on October 9, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of Friday the 13th: The Series explores what happens when Jack and Chris retrieve an antique but the owner doesn’t feel like letting them have it. This certainly isn’t the scariest episode of Friday the 13th: The Series but I like it because it’s Micki-centric and yes, I totally relate to Micki.

This episode originally aired on February 27th, 1988!

The TSL’s Grindhouse: The Disturbance (dir by Cliff Guest)

Posted on October 9, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

One of my pet peeves, as someone who has watched her share of movies about disturbed men driven by madness to kill, is that serial killers are often presented as being far more interesting than they actually are. Whereas the typical serial killer is someone who has never been able to maintain a relationship and who can’t hold down a job and who, in many cases, barely even graduated high school, movie serial killers always tend to be portrayed as being handsome, charming, witty, and diabolically clever. Blame it on Ted Bundy. Blame it on the popularity of Hannibal Lecter. Blame it on the film industry’s embrace of clichés. Blame it on whoever. or whatever It’s annoying and it encourages the tendency of the media to focus more on the killers than on their victims.

One good thing that you can say about the 1990 film The Disturbance is that it’s killer is no winner. Clay Moyer (Timothy Greeson) is a schizophrenic who has just been released from a mental hospital and seems to be destined to soon return. He’s someone who is haunted by hallucinations and violent fantasies. At the same time, he’s also learned how to project enough superficial charm that he can actually interact with people. When he meets Susan (Lisa Geoffrion) on the beach, he’s able to get a date and later, he’s even able to get a relationship. But, as the film graphically shows, even when he’s making love to Susan, he’s fantasizing about killing her. Even during the best moments of their relationship, he’s fantasizing about doing terrible things to the neighbor. Because he’s extremely possessive while obviously hiding a huge part of his life from her, Susan eventually starts to pull away from him. When he gets too pushy in his efforts to keep her around, she breaks it off. Since the relationship was the only positive thing that Clay had in his life, he sinks further into madness and he eventually does some very bad things. But, seeing as how Clay was having violent fantasies even while he was still dating Susan, it’s totally probable that his collapse was predestined. If he hadn’t been triggered by the end of the relationship, he would have been triggered by something else. There’s no hope for Clay, who was pretty much doomed from the minute he was born.

The budget of this Florida-shot indie is low and it’s obvious that most of the actors weren’t professionals. And yet, the fact that the actors are occasionally stiff and awkward actually adds to the film’s authenticity. If the film had been too slick, it wouldn’t have been as effective. It would have felt like another overproduced Hollywood serial killer film. Instead, The Disturbance feels like a journey into the mind of someone who actually is a ticking time bomb, reaching the end of his countdown. It’s not a fun journey but then again, it shouldn’t be fun. The mind of a sexual sadist is not going to be a pleasant place to visit.

The film works largely due to the lead performance of Timothy Greeson, who plays Clay as someone who desperately wants to be normal but who is very much aware that he never will be. He’s a prisoner to his fantasies and, as much as he tries, he knows that he’s never going to escape his demons. As an actor, Greeson is appealing enough that you can buy that Susan might go on a date with him while he also believably portrays the instability that leads to her dumping him.

It’s a well-done film, though a bit too disturbing to really be an entertaining viewing experience. (On a personal level, there were several scenes involving a cat that I simply could not handle.) I appreciated the film’s integrity far more than I enjoyed actually watching it but at least the movie refused to idealize its killer.

Horror Scenes I Love: The Arrival At Allerdale Hall in Crimson Peak

Posted on October 9, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since today is Guillermo del Toro’s birthday, it only seems appropriate that today’s scene that I love comes from my favorite del Toro film.

In this scene from Crimson Peak, Thomas bring Edith to Allerdale Hall for the first time and it’s both hauntingly beautiful and rather frightening at the same time. The same thing can be said for this film itself and perhaps all of del Toro’s work. I just love the gothic atmosphere of the location. Edith is determined to see the positive. Thomas’s personality is already starting to change as the weight of returning to Allerdale starts to push in on him. The mansion has already started to sink back into the Earth. It’s just a wonderfully put-together scene, one that sets the mood for the rest of this sadly underrated film.