Lisa Marie Picks The 16 Worst Films of 2013


A lot of people are saying that 2013 was a great year for movies.  And I guess it was.  An unusually large number of memorable films were released last year.

However, by that same token, a huge number of truly terrible films were released in 2013 as well.  With that in mind, here are my personal picks for the 16 worst films of 2013.  Why 16?  Because Lisa doesn’t do odd numbers, that’s why.

16) Carrie

15) Getaway

14) After Earth

13) Broken City

12) The Company You Keep

11) See Girl Run

10) Would You Rather

9) Lee Daniels’ The Butler

8) Identity Thief

7) Movie 43

6) Disconnect

5) A Dark Truth

4) Freeloaders

3) Unhung Hero

2) Tyler Perry’s Temptation

And finally, my pick for the worst film of 2013…

1) Man of Steel

It’s only been recently that I’ve come to realize that Man Of Steel was the worst film of 2013.  When I first saw it, I thought it was bombastic and rather silly but I also thought it was just another mediocre action film.  However, the more that I’ve thought about the film, the more I’ve come to realize that Man of Steel truly represents everything that I dislike about mainstream film.  Beyond the fact that it took itself way too seriously, Man of Steel spent millions of dollars to celebrate the destruction of a major city but couldn’t find five minutes to devote to character development or memorable dialogue.  Two years ago, a lot of people disagreed with me when I announced that Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch was one of the best films of 2011.  I wonder how those same people feel about Man of Steel.

ManofSteel

Tomorrow, I’ll continue my look back at the year that was with my 10 favorite songs of 2013.

(You can see my picks for the worst films of 2010, 2011, and 2012 by clicking on the links in this sentence.)

Lisa Marie’s 16 Worst Films of 2011


 

Now that 2011 is finally over, we here at the Shattered Lens can finally get around to listing our individual picks for the best and worst of 2011.  Pantsukadasai, Necromoonyeti, Leon Th3 Duke, and Dazzling Erin have already posted some of their picks for the best of 2011 and over the next five days, I’ll be risking your scorn by listing some of my own choices.

I’d like to get things started today by listening my picks for the 16 worst films of 2011.  As always, these choices are mine and mine alone.  So, don’t go harassing Arleigh just because you think Another Earth wasn’t a pretentious and silly film.  Instead, harass me so I can harass you back. 🙂

16) Battle L.A. — It takes a special type of film to make Skyline look like a work of art.

15) Cowboys and Aliens — Meh.  This should have been so much more fun than it actually was.

14) Your Highness — I still love James Franco.

13)  Shark Night 3-D — Another film that should have been a lot more fun.

12) Season of the Witch — The first film I saw in 2011 was also one of the worst.

11) The Ides of March — Hey guys, did you know that politics is a dirty business!?  Oh my God, consider my fragile mind blown.  Thank you for clearing things up, George Clooney!

10) Another Earth — Honestly, Another Earth probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the way that so many of the toadsuckers out there get so superior and condescending whenever they’re telling me that I should love this movie.  If you read the comments under my linked review of the film, you’ll find a very good defence of the film from Leon and then you’ll find a more typical response from some idiot named Naresh Raj Shrestha.  Unfortunately, Naresh seems to be a fair representation of most of the people who take to the Internet to defend this film.  All I can say to those people is “Fuck off, kids.  I’ve got real movies to worry about.”

9) Dream House — Daniel Craig.  Again.

8) Contagion — So.  Boring.

7) The Beaver — So. Stupid.

6) Priest — Yeah, yeah, it’s in 3-D.  Yay.

5) Dylan Dog: Dead of Night — This film sucks just as much as you think it does.

4) The Rum Diary — Is it possible to make a boring movie with one of the exciting movie stars in the world?  Apparently, it is.

3) The Conspirator — Self-important drivel that was released at least four years too late.

2) Straw Dogs — Tell ’em about the Southland, Rod Lurie!

And finally, here’s the worst film of 2011…

1) Anonymous — One thing is for sure.  Whoever wrote Shakespeare’s plays, he was a lot more talented than Roland Emmerich.

Coming up tomorrow: my ten favorite songs of 2011.