Horror Guilty Pleasure No. 135: Critters (dir. by Stephen Herek)


Some movie monsters want to conquer the planet. The creatures in Stephen Herek’s Critters seem perfectly happy eating their way through whatever happens to be standing on it. There is something refreshing about villains with such uncomplicated priorities, especially when they look like the contents of a clogged vacuum cleaner fitted with shark teeth. This is the sort of movie where the appeal is right there in the premise: nasty little aliens descend on rural America, and a perfectly ordinary family has to survive the visit. As an ’80s genre guilty pleasure, it delivers the goods with an appealing lack of pretension.

The story gets moving when a group of carnivorous aliens escapes from an extraterrestrial prison facility and makes its way to Earth. Their arrival puts the Brown family’s Kansas farm directly in the path of a feeding frenzy, while two shape-shifting bounty hunters follow close behind. Unfortunately, these heavily armed visitors are not especially concerned about keeping the peace or leaving buildings intact. Between the hungry fugitives and their destructive pursuers, an otherwise quiet community gets more excitement than it could possibly need. The setup is ridiculous, but Herek understands that explaining it too much would only spoil the fun.

What gives Critters some substance beneath the silliness is its interest in the people whose evening gets ruined. The Browns are not especially complicated characters, but their everyday disagreements and familiar household routines make them feel like a family rather than a collection of future victims. Spending time with them before the attack also gives the farmhouse a sense of normality worth protecting. The monsters are not simply invading a convenient horror-movie location; they are barging into somebody’s home. That modest distinction helps the film generate more audience investment than its toothy little troublemakers might initially suggest.

Scott Grimes makes Brad an easy young hero to root for. He has enough mischievous energy to seem capable of causing problems before the aliens ever arrive, but he never becomes so obnoxious that his survival feels like an obligation. His resourcefulness grows naturally out of that personality, giving the movie a kid protagonist who can participate in the action without seeming completely detached from his surroundings. There is a pleasing wish-fulfillment element to watching an underestimated youngster step up when things go wrong. Grimes sells that without turning Brad into an impossibly polished miniature action star.

Dee Wallace provides another important source of credibility as Brad’s mother, Helen. She brings warmth and urgency to situations that, described out loud, sound almost impossible to play straight. That commitment helps establish the film’s balance: the audience can laugh at the monsters without feeling that the characters are merely participating in a comedy routine. The family’s fear and concern remain sincere even when the surrounding action gets goofy. Critters does not require powerhouse dramatic performances, but it benefits enormously from actors willing to treat an attack by murderous furballs as an actual emergency.

Naturally, the furballs themselves are the main attraction. They look like what would happen if the Tribbles from Star Trek suddenly decided to stop being cute and start being mean and really, really hungry. Their dark hair, glowing eyes, enormous mouths, and projectile quills turn an otherwise cuddly shape into something you would desperately want off your lap. The fun comes from their rotten personalities as much as their physical design. These are greedy, bad-tempered little creatures whose curiosity usually leads directly to destruction. Their appetite drives the action, but their attitude gives it flavor, making them entertaining even when they are doing little more than looking for their next meal.

The practical effects contribute plenty of charm, although they do not always maintain the illusion. Some movements are stiff, and certain shots make the creatures look exactly like the puppets they are. Still, their physical presence gives the mayhem a satisfying texture. They seem to belong in the same messy environment as the furniture, debris, and frightened actors around them. The movie also benefits from not making them too adorable. They can be funny without losing that unpleasant suggestion of something that might bite straight through your hand. Their limitations are visible, but so is the craftsmanship behind their grotesque little faces.

The bounty hunters bring a broader, more cartoonish kind of entertainment. Terrence Mann plays Ug, who adopts the appearance of rock star Johnny Steele, while his partner Lee cycles through human identities played by Ethan Phillips, Jeremy Lawrence, and Don Keith Opper. Mann does most of the pair’s comedic heavy lifting, giving Ug a wonderfully straight-faced intensity that makes his rock-star appearance and excessive firepower even funnier. Their destructive pursuit suggests that Earth’s rescuers might require almost as much cleanup as its invaders. These scenes provide some welcome absurdity, although they also contribute to uneven pacing. Whenever the film moves away from the farmhouse, the pressure surrounding the Browns tends to ease. The hunters are amusing, particularly Mann, but their antics are not always as engaging as the central siege.

The resemblance to Gremlins is difficult to ignore, but Critters works best when it is not treated as a contest. It offers a smaller, scrappier variation on miniature-monster chaos, with a straightforward survival story holding everything together. The scares are limited, the plotting is thin, and the effects occasionally wobble, yet the movie remains likable because it commits to its own ridiculous appeal. There is no need to pretend it is a neglected masterpiece to appreciate its pleasures. Sometimes a decent creature feature only needs an appealing cast, a little suspense, and some ugly space pests making a spectacular nuisance of themselves. Critters understands the assignment.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

  1. Half-Baked
  2. Save The Last Dance
  3. Every Rose Has Its Thorns
  4. The Jeremy Kyle Show
  5. Invasion USA
  6. The Golden Child
  7. Final Destination 2
  8. Paparazzi
  9. The Principal
  10. The Substitute
  11. Terror In The Family
  12. Pandorum
  13. Lambada
  14. Fear
  15. Cocktail
  16. Keep Off The Grass
  17. Girls, Girls, Girls
  18. Class
  19. Tart
  20. King Kong vs. Godzilla
  21. Hawk the Slayer
  22. Battle Beyond the Stars
  23. Meridian
  24. Walk of Shame
  25. From Justin To Kelly
  26. Project Greenlight
  27. Sex Decoy: Love Stings
  28. Swimfan
  29. On the Line
  30. Wolfen
  31. Hail Caesar!
  32. It’s So Cold In The D
  33. In the Mix
  34. Healed By Grace
  35. Valley of the Dolls
  36. The Legend of Billie Jean
  37. Death Wish
  38. Shipping Wars
  39. Ghost Whisperer
  40. Parking Wars
  41. The Dead Are After Me
  42. Harper’s Island
  43. The Resurrection of Gavin Stone
  44. Paranormal State
  45. Utopia
  46. Bar Rescue
  47. The Powers of Matthew Star
  48. Spiker
  49. Heavenly Bodies
  50. Maid in Manhattan
  51. Rage and Honor
  52. Saved By The Bell 3. 21 “No Hope With Dope”
  53. Happy Gilmore
  54. Solarbabies
  55. The Dawn of Correction
  56. Once You Understand
  57. The Voyeurs
  58. Robot Jox
  59. Teen Wolf
  60. The Running Man
  61. Double Dragon
  62. Backtrack
  63. Julie and Jack
  64. Karate Warrior
  65. Invaders From Mars
  66. Cloverfield
  67. Aerobicide
  68. Blood Harvest
  69. Shocking Dark
  70. Face The Truth
  71. Submerged
  72. The Canyons
  73. Days of Thunder
  74. Van Helsing
  75. The Night Comes for Us
  76. Code of Silence
  77. Captain Ron
  78. Armageddon
  79. Kate’s Secret
  80. Point Break
  81. The Replacements
  82. The Shadow
  83. Meteor
  84. Last Action Hero
  85. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
  86. The Horror at 37,000 Feet
  87. The ‘Burbs
  88. Lifeforce
  89. Highschool of the Dead
  90. Ice Station Zebra
  91. No One Lives
  92. Brewster’s Millions
  93. Porky’s
  94. Revenge of the Nerds
  95. The Delta Force
  96. The Hidden
  97. Roller Boogie
  98. Raw Deal
  99. Death Merchant Series
  100. Ski Patrol
  101. The Executioner Series
  102. The Destroyer Series
  103. Private Teacher
  104. The Parker Series
  105. Ramba
  106. The Troubles of Janice
  107. Ironwood
  108. Interspecies Reviewers
  109. SST — Death Flight
  110. Undercover Brother
  111. Out for Justice
  112. Food Wars!
  113. Cherry
  114. Death Race
  115. The Beast Within
  116. Girl Series
  117. Gone in 60 Seconds
  118. Swordfish
  119. Marked For Death
  120. The Internship
  121. The Angry Red Planet
  122. 2012
  123. Old School
  124. No Escape
  125. In Death Series
  126. Alligator
  127. Little Annie Fanny
  128. Wicked Wanda
  129. Congo
  130. The 13th Warrior
  131. Sudden Death
  132. The Convent of Hell
  133. Covent of Sinners
  134. Teen Witch

Review: Planet Dune (dir. by Glenn Campbell & Tammy Klein)


“We came here for a rescue mission, and now we’re just something on the menu.” — said by someone, maybe.

Planet Dune is a scrappy, low‑budget sci‑fi creature feature that knows exactly what it is, and that self‑awareness helps it go down easier. It is not a polished prestige production, but it does deliver a simple survival story, some intentionally goofy monster‑movie energy, and enough visual invention to keep genre fans from completely checking out. It also practically announces itself as another in‑name‑only knock‑off in the vein of The Asylum’s mockbuster factory, clearly trying to ride the coattails of Denis Villeneuve’s Dune: Part One. The timing, the desert‑planet setting, the sand‑worm menace, and the threadbare plot all feel calculated to cash in on the renewed mainstream buzz around the Dune name, rather than to build something original.

From the start, Planet Dune leans hard into its B‑movie identity. The setup is straightforward: a rescue mission heads to a desert planet, only to find itself trapped in a fight for survival against giant sand worms. That premise is thin, but the movie understands the appeal of the concept and does not waste time pretending to be deeper than it is. The result is a film that moves quickly, stays focused on its basic threat, and mostly avoids getting bogged down in overcomplicated mythology. At the same time, every decision feels like a stripped‑down version of choices made in Villeneuve’s Dune—just without the budget, scope, or attention to subtext. It’s the kind of project that exists because someone saw a big‑budget, heavily marketed Dune release and realized they could slap a vaguely similar title on a sand‑worm actioner and sell it to undiscerning genre fans.

What works best is the movie’s commitment to its own absurdity. The sand worms are the obvious attraction, and the film uses them as a constant source of danger rather than saving them for a single big reveal. That gives the story a pulpy urgency, and in a movie like this, momentum matters more than subtlety. The effects are clearly on a modest budget, but they are used with a certain charm, and the film often benefits from embracing cheapness instead of trying to hide it. That kind of approach can make a low‑budget creature feature feel more fun than fake grandeur ever could, even if it never comes close to matching the visual or thematic richness of Villeneuve’s work.

There is also a strange meta‑layer in the casting of Sean Young, who played Chani in David Lynch’s Dune (1984). Her presence turns Planet Dune into a weird echo chamber of the Dune universe: it’s a cheap, micro‑budget knock‑off trading on the name and imagery of a franchise, while also bringing in a legacy face from one of the older big‑screen adaptations. That gives the film a faintly nostalgic, almost self‑aware vibe, as if it’s winking at fans who know the history of Dune on screen, even while it rushes through a script that’s functionally just a monster‑survival thriller with a desert‑planet paint job. It’s a choice that underscores how this movie is less about telling its own story and more about trading on the weight of other people’s Dune work.

The pacing is also one of the movie’s stronger points. A lot of smaller sci‑fi films spend too much time explaining the world or padding out the runtime with empty dialogue, but Planet Dune keeps things relatively lean. It gets in, sets up the threat, and lets the characters deal with one problem after another. That makes it easier to forgive some of the rough edges, because the film does at least understand that the audience is here for monster attacks, not a lecture on space politics. Compared with Villeneuve’s slow‑burn world‑building and political maneuvering, Planet Dune feels like a stripped‑down amusement‑park version of the same concept: same core idea, none of the fuss.

That said, the movie is not above criticism. The biggest issue is that the characters are more functional than memorable. They do what the plot requires, but they are not written with enough personality to make every relationship or loss land with real weight. When the film pauses for emotional beats, those moments can feel undercooked because the script has not given the cast enough room to become more than survival‑movie placeholders. In a genre piece like this, that does not automatically sink the experience, but it does limit the impact, especially when viewers are already thinking of how Villeneuve’s Dune strained and expanded its characters across multiple films.

The performances are mixed in the way you would expect from a project like this. Nobody seems to be phoning it in, and that effort matters, but the material does not always give them much to build on. Some scenes benefit from the actors treating the material seriously, while others feel a little stiff because the dialogue is plainly there to move people from one danger zone to the next. The movie works best when it leans into the adventure and stops pretending it is a character drama. Sean Young gives a more grounded presence, but even that can’t fully offset how thin the script is; her casting feels more like a symbolic nod to Dune’s cinematic history than a way to deepen this particular story.

Visually, Planet Dune has the same plus‑and‑minus quality common to many independent sci‑fi films. The desert setting gives the movie a strong sense of scale, and even when the effects are rough, the barren environment helps sell the idea of isolation. At the same time, there are moments where the limitations are obvious, and the production does not always disguise them elegantly. Still, the film’s look is consistent enough that it rarely becomes distracting in a way that breaks the whole experience. Compared with Villeneuve’s meticulously composed frames and sweeping desert vistas, Planet Dune feels like a backyard‑budget cousin: same basic palette, significantly smaller scale.

There is also a pleasant lack of pretension here. Some genre movies try to compensate for weak writing by becoming self‑important, but Planet Dune seems content to be a monster chase with a space wrapper. That honesty is refreshing. It does not make the movie great, but it does make it easier to enjoy on its own terms. If you approach it like a serious epic, it will probably disappoint you, especially with the memory of Villeneuve’s Dune still fresh in your mind. If you approach it like a scrappy midnight movie—one that exists mainly because someone saw Dune in theaters and figured they could sell a knock‑off soundtrack on the same name—it has a better shot at working.

The film’s weaknesses are still hard to ignore. The story is very familiar, and viewers who have seen enough desert‑planet sci‑fi will recognize the beats immediately. There is also some repetition in how the danger is staged, and not every sequence feels equally inspired. A tighter script and a stronger sense of character could have lifted the whole thing a few notches. As it stands, Planet Dune is more effective as a mood piece and monster showcase than as a fully satisfying drama. It never reaches for the political, religious, or ecological weight of Villeneuve’s Dune, and it never really tries; it’s closer to a DVD‑rack detour for genre fans who just want sand worms and a vaguely Dune‑adjacent name.

What saves it is that it rarely feels cynical. Even when it is clumsy, it is trying to entertain rather than impress. That gives the movie a bit of personality, and personality goes a long way in low‑budget genre cinema. The casting of Sean Young, the desert‑planet premise, and the obvious Dune name‑play all point to a project that knows exactly what it is: a small‑scale, opportunistic creature feature that wants to surf the wave of a bigger franchise without the heavy lifting. It may not be the kind of film that wins over skeptical viewers, but it is also not a total write‑off. For viewers in the mood for a cheap, goofy, sandworm‑infested sci‑fi ride—one that openly trades on the legacy of both Villeneuve’s and Lynch’s Dune—Planet Dune gets the job done on its own very modest terms.

Trailer: M3GAN 2.0


M3GAN in 2022 was a surprise hit that no one saw coming. What would’ve been a a nice little horror film from Blumhouse that would’ve come and gone with little fanfare suddenly became a major hit due to the viral marketing of the titular character’s dancing shown in the initial trailer becoming a huge internet meme.

Now we are back with the sequel (I don’t think anyone was surprised that Blumhouse quickly greenlit a follow-up) and it looks like the original team of director Gerard Johnstone and writer Akela Cooper are back to headline M3GAN 2.0.

The sequel looks to be bigger and a bit more ambitious with more than just a bit of a Terminator 2 vibe with the title character looking to be more of the savior and not just an overprotective killing AI doll.

Will M3GAN 2.0 be able to replicate the viral success of the first film? We shall find out on June 27, 2025.

Scenes I Love: Alien


alien-chestburster

We found out tonight that the great Sir John Hurt passed away at the age of 77.

For some their memory of him was in the role of the Elephant Man. For the younger set it might be as Hellboy’s adopted father Professor Broom. Some might even remember him as Chancellor Sutler from V for Vendetta. They were all great roles, but my very first memory of him is from a film that helped shaped my love for horror and sci-fi. It was a film that was influenced the impressionable mind of a pre-teen.

This film is and will always be Ridley Scott’s haunted house in space sci-fi horror film, Alien.

Sir John Hurt as the doomed crew-member Kane would make such an impact in my impressionable mind as a child not when he first appears on-screen, but when the titular creature makes it’s first appearance in what I can only describe as an explosive birthing scene.

Rest In Peace good sir.

Horror Quickie Review: Virus (dir. by John Bruno)


Virus

Not every comic book film is about superheroes. There’s been quite a bit of comic books adapted to film that has no superheroes, capes and superpowers at all. One such film came out in 1999. It was a film adapted from Chuck Pfarrer’s Dark Horse Comics mini-series titled Virus. This was a comic book that had a unique art-style to it that lent itself well to its scifi and body horror tale.

The film itself skews close enough to the comic book with some minor changes. Instead of a Chinese research vessel where most of the story takes place we find the film set on a derelict Soviet research ship. Even with the changes from comic book to film they both shared one common denominator and that would be the alien lifeform that has decided to systematically kill all humans aboard the ship.

Virus stars Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Sutherland in two roles they probably wish they took a pass on or asked more money to do. While the film has some imaginative set pieces involving the melding of robotics and scavenged human body parts to create something bigger and homicidal the majority of the film involves pretty much every cast member in one stage or another of hysteria, incredulity and denial. Really, the only person in the whole film who seemed to go through the story with a clear and level head was Cliff Curtis’ seaman Hiko. All this means was that he would be one not to survive to the end of the film.

While the comic book itself was a nice piece of scifi horror storytelling then film stumbles right out of the gate not just because of the terrible acting, but just a dull and boring adaptation of the story. While, as stated earlier, some of the robotic designs were quite good and the use of practical effects made the killer robots something terrible behold, director John Bruno didn’t seem to have any ideas on how to put together an exciting sequence to take advantage of these inventive pieces at his disposal.

Virus was one film that comic book fans who read the mini-series were quite excited to see when it was first announced as a film in production. Stills of gruesome effects work would be admired and just add to the high expectations. What we got instead was a huge pile of a mess that was neither horrific, terrifying or remotely entertaining. Virus is one such film that I wouldn’t even bother catching on TV being shown for free.

Horror Review: The Colony (dir. by Jeff Renfroe)


TheColony

“You’re going to need every bullet.”

The Colony was this little-seen horror film that came out in early 2013. From the trailers shown it looked like it was going to be a decent looking post-apocalyptic, scifi-horror that looked to evoke the sort of icy desolation and paranoia that Carpenter’s The Thing did so perfectly. Under Canadian-filmmaker Jeff Renfroe’s command the film’s high, lofty horror goals didn’t exactly come to fruition.

The film itself wasn’t awful by any stretch of the imagination, but it does suffer a lot from having it look like it was one of those mid-2000 SyFy film productions. At times some of the sequences even looked like it was copied off from one of those the SyFy “New Ice Age” disaster flicks starring Dean Cain. Yet, there’s some genuine tense moments in The Colony that should make this film a look-see if there’s nothing else to see.

Yes, the film is about the planet going through a sort of artificially-created Ice Age due to weather tampering. It’s a story that could’ve been lifted from early Twilight Zone episodes. Humanity barely survives inside spread out colonies using former factories and government bunkers. These colonies don’t just have the danger or dwindling supplies, simple diseases and the cold weather to deal with, but as we soon find out there’s now a new danger that’s much closer to home.

The Colony’s ad campaign and trailers have focused on it’s two American stars in Laurence Fishburne and Bill Paxton to sell the film. Both actors do some workman-like performances which helps anchor the ensemble cast’s performance. It’s the cast’s performances that elevates The Colony above it’s SyFy counterparts and one of it’s few saving graces. The other being the filmmakers’ success in creating a sense of freezing isolation through the use of arctic-like location shoots and some very well-done CGI icy landscapes.

The horror part of the film comes from the so-called “other” survivors who have adjusted to the scarcity of food by turning on the only abundant source of nourishment left in a world where there are no more growing things. Yes, The Colony tries to revive that old horror staple of the late 70’s and early 80’s which we know of as the cannibal-subgenre.

Cannibal films never truly went away but they remained mostly in the very outer fringes of the horror scene. They tended to be quite awful affairs that went for extreme shocks to bring in the horror crowd, but that only works when there’s a semblance of a narrative to explain things. With The Colony the film does a good enough job to try and explain why some have turned to a diet of the so-called other “white meat”. To add a new wrinkle to these feral antagonists the filmmakers they decided to update them for the modern audiences by giving them free-running skills that makes them seem more than human once they enter the screen. If the film has any sort of lesson to impart it could be that eating “long pig” might just give one parkour-like abilities.

The Colony definitely tried to be one of those scifi-horror that wanted to elevate itself to something beyond it’s grindhouse and exploitation roots, but it’s trying to be somethng it wasn’t meant to be that became it’s biggest flaw. The set-up of an Ice Age created by man is a time-tested story and the reintroduction of the cannibal thread to the film’s storyline was ripe for a grandg uignol-like production that could’ve been done using practical effects. But the filmmakers tried to mimic the CGI-smorgasbord of the Roland Emmerich-style, but they just barely distinguished themselves from what amounted to be an enhanced SyFy-production.

It’s a film that has enough entertaining moments, but overall it was a nice try that that just failed short of it’s goals.

Horror Scenes I Love: Scanners (by David Cronenberg)


[SPOILERS!!!!]

I’ve already shared a favorite scene from David Cronenberg’s landmark scifi/horror film Scanners over a year ago that saw a head explode. For October’s horror-themed month I picked another great scene from this film that always stuck with me long after I’ve finished watching the film each and every time.

The scene I’m talking about is the climactic showdown between Good Scanner Cameron and Evil Scanner Revok. This scene was filmed before the advent of CGI-effects and Cronenberg never had the sort of big-budgets to hire the top FX make-up artists to work on his films. Yet, Cronenberg ended up creating one of the best scenes ever put on film about two people fighting each other using their minds. We never see their mental abilities shooting off psychic blasts at each other but the performance by both Michael Ironside as Revok and Stephen Lack as Cameron was so believable that it made the scene work when it could’ve turned so cheesy and disastrous in the hands of a different filmmaker and other actors.

The battle ends but we’re left to believe the good guy lost and evil triumphs. This feeling pretty much plays out right up to the final scene before fade to black and even then we’re not sure if the final reveal is true or not. Either way there’s no better way to bookend the exploding head intro than with two psychic beings duking it out mentally with blood, spontaneous combustion and creepy white eyes added in for style.

Trailer: Resident Evil: Retribution


The Resident Evil film franchise seems to be the franchise that just keeps on going and going. Like the undead which forms the bulk of the danger to the characters in the film, this film series just won’t die. It’s success has both confounded critics and audiences alike. It’s turned Milla Jovovich into an action star whether we like it or not. It’s also a series that despite some major flaws continues because it makes it’s studios money.

We now have the first teaser trailer for the 5th film in the series, Resident Evil: Retribution, and just like the 4th film in the series it will be in 3D. It will also have several characters from past films who we saw die make appearances in the film. Whether they come back as themselves in the film’s present storyline or in flashbacks has yet to be determined. The trailer itself looks like a major advert for Sony smartphones, PS Vita and tablet products. In fact, I’d say that almost 40% of this teaser is all about pushing Sony products.

If that’s the case then this trailer does teach me one thing: Sony products will lead to a global zombie apocalypse. I think this event would never happen if people bought iPhones and iPads.

Resident Evil: Retribution is set for a September 14, 2012 release date.