Let me begin by writing that I love watching Netflix and I REALLY love livetweeting with Lisa and the rest of the Shattered Lens staff. We can coordinate times well and it’s easy to sync up. This time, I was given the movie choosing authority and perhaps it will be my last. I heard that The Perfection was a bit gory, but I figured come on, this is Shattered Lens- we Rocktober the October over here with our Horrorthon! When I saw that Steven Weber was in it, I felt like ok, this is going to be like a Tales From the Crypt experience. Well……….not so much.
The Perfection has trashy components to it and some cheaply built sets and the director REALLY wants you to know that they splurged and actually filmed in China! The best way to describe The Perfection is as an unaware, pretentious, and boring episode of Tales From the Crypt. It had the victim goes to victimizer TFTC theme and the over the top gore, but it was always trying to be serious and important when it was just an overly long TFTC episode without any humor.
The plot is pretty straight-forward: Charlotte is a prodigy Cellist who left her art to care for her dying mother for ten-years. When she tries to return to her life, she finds that a younger classmate Lizzy has attained the Cello fame that she sought. She sees her old Mentor Anton (Steven Weber) and Charlotte is now the clear has-been. Charlotte executes a plan to destroy Lizzy forever. Charlotte meets Lizzy, seduces Lizzy, drugs Lizzy, and convinces Lizzy to chop her hand off. Yep, another Hollywood girl meets girl, girl drugs girl, girl gets girl to chop her hand off story. The Perfection was actually the original script for Love Actually. The “To Me You Are Perfect” scene was just going to be Andrew Lincoln throwing severed hands at people – “To Me you are a perfect…Target” *throws hand at Juliet*.
Just when you think this movie will be a fun version of Black Swan it takes a turn for the dumb, gross. Yes, I get that this was made by a post-Weinstein Miramax and it was showing how fame could encourage and condone horrible behavior, but it was done with so much exposition that it really caused the film to jerk from long explanations to gore and long explanations to gore and long explanations to trying a Subway Cold Cut Combo – even terrible movies get hungry.
I’m not sure if I should spoil this piece of trash or not. It’s really not worth your time. Instead of watching this film you could eat a sandwich, do your taxes, plot revenge. However, it is nice to see that Steven Weber is still working – there’s that.