Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.21 “The Strippers”

Posted on May 19, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, the hills have eyes.

Episode 3.21 “The Strippers”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on February 16th, 1980)

Calm down, boys, we’re not talking those types of strippers!

This episode of CHiPs finds Ponch and Jon searching through the California hill country for two rednecks who are stealing cars and stripping them for the parts. One of the strippers is a fat guy who likes to sing while he’s working. The other is a guy played by Evan C. Kim, who later played Clint Eastwood’s partner in The Dead Pool. Baker’s girlfriend’s car gets stolen so this one is …. wait for it …. PERSONAL! Of course, this being CHiPs, the episode is still mostly about Ponch even though Baker’s the one with a personal stake in the case.

It turns out that Ponch and Jon aren’t the only ones investigating crimes in the hills of California. The DEA is investigating a drug-running operation and they really don’t want to two motorcycle cops getting in the way. (Doesn’t the DEA understand that motorcycles are cool? At least they’re not bike cops like those schmucks on Pacific Blue.) The head drug smuggler is played by Morgan Woodward, who was a veteran of the western genre. The old cowboys are smuggling cocaine into Los Angeles. It’s like an extremely depressing country song. There’s no more cattle but there’s plenty of the devil’s dandruff to be sold.

If I seem to be rambling, it’s because there’s not really much to say about this episode. Airing, as it did, late in the season, it’s hard not to feel that show’s writers were probably tired and out-of-ideas when it came to coming up with the plot for this one. Ponch and Jon catch the car strippers who have information on the drug dealers. The car strippers turn informant and hope that they’ll get a deal as a result. Let’s hope so because prison is not a friendly environment to snitches.

This episode did feature one nicely-filmed accident scene, featuring multiple cars flying through the air (in glorious slo mo of doom!) and a bunch of broken glass. Bonnie and Bear cleaned up the accident site so that Ponch and Baker could get back to searching for the car thieves. That was nice of them. It’s all about team work!

I Watched The Strongest Man In The World (1975, Dir. by Vincent McEveety)

Posted on March 17, 2025 by Dazzling Erin

Dexter Riley (Kurt Russell) is back, again! He still hasn’t graduated from Medfield College and Medfield is still on the verge of going broke. Dean Higgins (Joe Flynn) discovers that the reason Medfield can never get out of the red is because the science class and students like Dexter are spending so much money on their experiments. The Dean fires the science professor and threatens to expel Dexter! But when Dexter’s latest experiment develops a type of milk that gives the drinker super strength, the Dean might have to change his mind.

A cereal company wants to buy the supermilk, which would get Medfield out of the hole. But a rival cereal company just wants to steal the formula for the milk so they hire disgraced businessman and gangster A.J. Arno (Cesar Romero) to once again try to thwart the best laid plans of Medfield College. Meanwhile, Dexter competes in a contest to prove that the supermilk has truly made him into the strongest man in the world.

The plot of the last Dexter Riley movie somehow manages to be even dumber than the first two and it was high time for Dexter to graduate and get on with his life but The Strongest Man In The World did make me laugh a few times. Because this entry in the series involved super strength instead of invisibility or merging with a computer, it allowed for more physical comedy and it felt less dates than the other two movies. The action is pretty much nonstop, as Dexter gets into one scrape after another and the cast is likable even if they all were getting a little old to still be playing college students. Like the other Dexter Riley films, The Strongest Man In The World is too innocent and good-natured not to enjoy on some level.

I guess Dexter finally graduated after this movie. Both he and Kurt Russell went on to better things.

I Watched Now You See Him, Now You Don’t (1972, Dir. by Robert Butler)

Posted on March 17, 2025 by Dazzling Erin

Dexter Riley (Kurt Russell) is back and just in time because Medfield College is on the verge of getting closed down again.

In The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, buying a computer was supposed to be the solution to all of Medfield’s financial problems. I guess it didn’t work because Medfield is broke again and corrupt businessman A.J. Arnoe (Cesar Romero) is planning on canceling the school’s mortgage so that he can turn it into a casino.

There is some hope. Dexter has accidentally created an invisibility spray. Not only does it tun anything that it touches invisible but it also washes away with water so there’s no risk of disappearing forever. Dexter and his friend Schuyler (Michael McGreevey) know that they can win the science fair with their invention but the science fair doesn’t want to allow small schools like Medfield to compete unless they really have something big to offer. Dexter tells the Dean (Joe Flynn) that he has a sure winner but Dexter also refuses to reveal what it is because he doesn’t want word to leak before for the science fair. The Dean decides to raise the money to pay off the mortgage by becoming a golfer, as one does. Schulyer works as the Dean’s caddy while Dexter uses the invisibility spray to help the Dean cheat. That’s a good message for a young audience, Disney! But when Arno finds out about the spray, he wants to steal it so he can rob a bank.

This was even dumber than The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes but it was also hard to dislike it. The comedy was too gentle, Kurt Russell and the rest of the cast were too likable, and the special effects were too amusingly cheap in that retro Disney way for it to matter that the movie didn’t make any sense. When a bunch of college kids learn the secret of invisibility and use it to cheat at golf, you know you’re watching a Disney film.

I Watched The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (1969, Dir. by Robert Butler)

Posted on March 17, 2025 by Dazzling Erin

Medfield College has a problem. No one takes the college seriously. Maybe if the college could win the big college quiz show, people would finally stop laughing at Medfield but the students are not academically talented. Professor Quigley (William Schallert) thinks that the college needs to finally buy a new-fangled device called a computer. The Dean (Joe Flynn) says that there’s no way any college can afford something as expensive as that! Luckily, businessman and gangster A.J. Arno (Cesar Romero) is willing to donate one of his computers. It takes several students to move the computer into the lab because the computer is huge.

Medfield finally has a computer but are the students smart enough to win that quiz show? Popular jock Dexter Riley (Kurt Russell) happens to be in the lab during a freak thunderstorm. When both he and the computer get struck by lightning at the same time, it leads to Dexter becoming a human computer. He suddenly knows everything. He can speak any language and solve any equation. He can answer any question/ Whenever anyone shines a light into Dexter’s ear, they see circuit boards. No one really cares that none of this makes sense. Medfield is going to win that quiz show for sure! But first, Dexter is going to have to escape from Arno, who fears Dexter now knows all the details about his gambling ring.

Watching this Disney film was a real eye-opener for me. Computers are such a part of my everyday life that it was strange seeing a college making such a big deal about getting one. The computer that Medfield got looked more like the type of computer that NASA used to go to the moon than the ones that were in my high school computer lab. I was worried that no one seemed to care that Dexter had a circuit board in his head. Not even Dexter seemed to care. It was also funny to me that all he had to do was get struck by lightning while standing near a computer and suddenly, he knew how to speak every language and solve every problem. I use a computer everyday and I can still only speak English and Spanish. I feel like I’m getting cheated.

The whole movie was absolutely ludicrous but I did enjoy watching this movie. It was too sweet, innocent, and good-natured not to enjoy. There was nothing realistic about the movie but it was nice to imagine a world where everyone gets along, the bad guys are all too buffoonish to really be dangerous, and a serious knock on the head leads to thing returning to normal instead of permanent brain damage. Kurt Russell was only 18 when he made The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes but he could already carry a movie.

Film Review: The Delinquents (dir by Robert Altman)

Posted on February 20, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

First released in 1957 and filmed on a $63,000 budget in Kansas City, The Delinquents tells the story of Scotty White (Tom Laughlin).

Scotty is eighteen. He’s not a bad kid. He’s just a bit directionless and he’s got a slight rebellious streak. Today, Scotty would not be considered to be that wild of a teenager but, by the standards of 1957, he’s dangerous. He’s a criminal. He’s a rebel. He’s an outsider. He’s a degenerate. He’s a delinquent and it doesn’t matter how in love he and 16 year-old Janice (Rosemary Howard) may be, Janice’s parents don’t want Scotty anywhere near their daughter. She’s too young to date, they say. Scott’s got a bed reputation, they say. Scotty is set to soon leave for college and he’s got his entire future ahead of him. But it doesn’t seem like much of a future without Janice as a part of it.

Poor guy! Is it any surprise that he ends up hanging out with two legitimate delinquents, Cholly (Peter Miller) and Eddy (Richard Bakalyan)? At first, Cholly and Eddy seem like great friends to have. They even come up with a scheme to allow Scotty to spend some time with Janice. (The plan doesn’t work, of course. But it’s the thought that counts.) However, when the police show up to bust a wild delinquent party, Cholly and Eddy suspect that Scotty might be a rat! When their attempts to get Scotty drunk enough to confess fail, they end up driving a passed out Scotty into the country so they can dump him on the side of the road. However, they decide to stop to rob a gas station first. Believe it or not, this leads to even more trouble.

It also leads to the question of why they couldn’t have waited to rob the gas station until after they got Scotty out of the car. Watching The Delinquents, I came to suspect that many of the characters just weren’t that smart. Seriously, how difficult is it to be a delinquent in Kansas City? But as dumb as Cholly and Eddy were, Scotty was even dumber because he continually got outsmarted by the both of them. Maybe Janice’s parents had a point about him….

The Delinquents is pretty much a standard youth-in-trouble exploitation film, one that owes more than a little bit of debt to Rebel Without A Cause. The main reason why anyone would watch the film is because it was not only the directorial debut of Robert Altman but also the acting debut of Tom “Billy Jack” Laughlin. And let’s give credit where credit is due. Though I doubt either one of them would have claimed this film as an example of their best work, there is some obvious talent to found in The Delinquents. Laughlin gives an appealing performance, even though Scotty’s an idiot. And Altman keeps the action moving and even manages to come up with some visually striking sequences, like the opening jazz performance and the “wild” delinquent party. Viewed today, The Delinquents is an interesting preview of what was to come for both Altman and Laughlin. Though the plot is nothing special and it’s hard not to laugh at the portentous narration (which was apparently added by the studio and without Altman’s knowledge), The Delinquents is an energetic exploitation film and a reminder that even Kansas City had its mean streets.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.4 “The Last Cowboy/The Lady and the Monster”

Posted on June 25, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion, YouTube, Plex, and a host of other sites.

It’s time for another trip to the Island!

Episode 5.4 “The Last Cowboy/The Lady and the Monster”

(Dir by Don Chaffey, originally aired on October 31st, 1981)

For the second week in a row, Tattoo is notably absent in this episode. He is seen in the stock footage that opens each episode of Fantasy Island. Shortly afterwards, his pre-recorded voice is briefly heard when Mr. Roarke explains to Julie that Tattoo has been turned invisible so that he can help with the fantasy of another guest who is also invisible. Seriously, that’s the excuse that the show goes with. Tattoo is “there” but he can’t be seen. I can only imagine what was going on behind-the-scenes with Herve Villechaize. It’s easy to assume that Villechaize was holding out for more money but, to be honest, it’s almost too easy to assume that. It’s also possible that Villechaize may have just asked for some time off to pursue his career as a singer.

As for the fantasies, the better of the two featured Lynda Day George as scientist Carla Frankenstein, who comes to the island because she wants to clear her ancestor’s reputation for being mad. Fortunately, the castle of Baron Frankenstein just happens to be on the Island! In the castle, Carla finds evidence that, rather than trying to bring the dead back to life, the Baron was instead working on ways to extend the average lifespan. She also discovers that the Baron’s monster (played by veteran character actor William Smith) is still living in the castle!

The Monster is a dignified old soul who has been mistreated every time that he’s left the Castle. Carla befriends him but again, the Monster is forced to confront the pettiness of the outside world when a corporate spy (Ken Swofford) tries to take both Carla and Julie hostage. After Carla and Julia are rescued, the Monster retreats to the Castle but Carla promises that she will not only return to see him but that she will also continue her ancestor’s research. In fact, her company is going to build a lab on the Island and presumably employ the one or two Islanders who aren’t already employed by Mr. Roarke.

This was a Halloween episode so a Frankenstein fantasy feels appropriate. William Smith played the role of the Monster with a wounded dignity that was actually quite touching. His lonely existence was quite sad and I was actually glad when Roarke suggested that he and Julie would, from now on, be joining the Monster for dinner.

As for the other fantasy, Joe Campbell (Stuart Whitman) is yet another city slicker who wants to be a cowboy. Joe thinks that Roarke is going to send him to the old west, as he has done for so many other people with the exact same fantasy. Instead, Roarke gets all technical and says that Joe’s specific fantasy was to be a cowboy and not to travel to the old west. Joe finds himself working as a hired hand on a modern-day ranch. Once Joe stops whining (and it takes a while), he falls in love with widow Margaret Blair (Diane Baker), becomes a surrogate father to Jimmy Blair (Jimmy Baio), and he chasess off an evil biker (Robert Tessier). In the end, Joe asks for permission to remain at the ranch and Fantasy Island. Roarke agrees, probably so Joe can potentially replace Julie if she ever asks for a raise like Tattoo did.

This fantasy felt a bit too familiar. It’s always weird how Roarke will arbitrarily decide to be strict with some guests while letting others do whatever they want.

Anyway, here’s hoping Tattoo returns next week!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 1.20 “Rendezvous”

Posted on April 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on You tube!

This week, Mitch and the Gang screw up another easy case.

Episode 1.20 “Rendezvous”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on May 4th, 1996)

Mitch, Ryan, and Garner are hired to track down Bradley Thurman (John Sanderford), a former top executive who embezzled over twenty million dollars and then, with the help of plastic surgery, went into hiding. Thurman has come to California to track down his wife and child, both of whom are in the witness protection program. They are told that, if they help to capture Bradley, they will be entitled to 20% of whatever money is recovered.

“20% of 20,000,000,” Mitch says, dreamily.

“Or 20% of nothing,” Ryan adds, revealing that she at least understands that both this show and presumably Baywatch would be over if Mitch ever became independently wealthy.

Donna and and Griff help out with the case, despite the fact that neither one of them is a detective and they both already have jobs that should presumably keep them busy. I mean, Donna owns a bar and it seems like that would require a lot of work on her part. Instead, she’s always either training to become a life guard, pursuing a modeling career, and trying to help Mitch solve a case. If I was Donna, I would be concerned about the fact that I’m always being told to go flirt with the bad guys. It seems like a dangerous assignment to give to someone who isn’t actually a detective. Griff, as a professional photographer, at least has a skill that is regularly used in actual detective work.

Even though this episode’s story felt like a return to the type of plots that Baywatch Nights featured when it first premiered, it was still a rather inconsequential episode. Bradley Thurman was hardly a clever or even a menacing villain and the fact that he got as close to his wife and his child as he did had less to do with any skill on Thurman’s part and everything to do with Mitch just not being very good at his job.

Actually, why are Mitch, Ryan, and Garner such terrible detectives? Mitch’s problem is that he never seems to focus on the case at hand. Instead, he’s always trying to flirt with Ryan or looking out at the ocean to see if anyone’s drowning. Being a detective requires concentration and that seems to be something that Mitch struggles with. Garner, meanwhile, is a bit too cocky for someone who, despite appearing in the open credits, hardly ever actually appears on the show. But still, Ryan seems like she should have everything that it takes to be a good detective but, every show, she makes the same mistakes as Mitch and Garner. I think Ryan actually is a good detective. She’s just being dragged down by Mitch’s incompetence. I think if Ryan went off on her own, she’d have a lot more success.

Next week, Mitch helps an old friend who thinks his wife is an imposter!

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.25 “Celebration/Captain Papa/Honeymoon Pressure”

Posted on January 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, an important question is finally answered!

Episode 3.25 “Celebration/Captain Papa/Honeymoon Pressure”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on March 29th, 1980)

Ever since Vicki first came aboard the ship, I have been wondering how exactly a 12 year-old can live (and apparently work) on an ocean liner. One of my main questions has concerned how she is getting an education while sailing back and forth to Mexico.

With this episode, I finally got my answer. When social worker Susan Stoddard (Lois Nettleton) boards the ship to decide whether or not to recommend that the Captain be given custody of Vicki, one of the first question that she asks is about school.

“Chief Petty Officer Dooley has a master’s in education,” Stubing replies, before saying that this never-before-mentioned character served as Vicki’s tutor.

Well, I’m glad that’s been cleared up. Still, it is interesting that we’ve never before seen or even heard of this Dooley character. We don’t even see Dooley in this episode. You would think the social worker would want to talk to the person who is in charge of Vicki’s education. Instead, Susan sees the rest of the crew, all of whom try to be on their best behavior in order to convince her that the Love Boat is not the floating HR nightmare that we all know it is.

(Still, at least the crew tried. I’m surprised Doctor Bricker didn’t just try to sleep with her or something….)

This would be a really depressing episode of the Captain wasn’t awarded custody. Luckily, Susan is so impressed by the crew that she says she will definitely file a positive report. As she put it, Vicki not only has one wonderful parent. She has “Five wonderful parents!” Let’s see — Stubing, Julie, Gopher, Isaac, Doc …. yep, that’s five. I’m sure Chief Petty Officer Dooley appreciates being left out of the group.

Isaac has more to worry about than just Captain Stubing’s situation. Isaac is convinced that an old man named Gordon (Noah Beery, Jr.) is bank robber! Gordon, who works as a bank guard at the port, is sailing on the Love Boat with his wife of 30 years, Betty (Alice Faye). Gordon is spending a lot of money. Isaac worries that Gordon stole the money but actually, it turns out that Gordon is just spending his life savings because his wife is in poor health and he wants to make sure that she has a wonderful vacation. Unfortunately, Gordon spends too much on a diamond ring. His wife, realizing what Gordon has done, secretly exchanges the ring for a cheaper one and tells her husband that she doesn’t need a life of luxury. She just needs him. Awwwwwww! What a sweet old couple.

Finally, there are two real criminals on the boat. Ralph (Norman Alden) and Ben (Richard Bakalyan) are two mob enforces who have been sent to accompany the boss’s daughter (Eve Plumb) on her honeymoon with her un-connected husband, Mark (Sal Viscuso). Ralph and Ben’s presence makes Mark so uncomfortable that he can’t even consummate his marriage. Ralph and Ben try to make things romantic for the couple. Eventually, Doc Bricker tells the gangsters that Mark has a fictional disease, which causes Ralph and Ben to back off. The married couple finally gets to celebrate their honeymoon. But Mark still married into a mafia family so he’ll probably be machine-gunned as soon as he steps off the boat.

With the exception of the stupid Mafia story, this was a sweet episode. I’m glad things worked out for the old couple and for Vicki and the Captain. The Love Boat is not really a show that you watch for the acting but Gavin MacLeod’s natural sincerity always served him well whenever the show focused on his role as Vicki’s father. Plus, I no longer have to worry about whether or not Vicki is going to have more than a sixth grade education. So that’s a good thing.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Baywatch Nights 1.2 “Bad Blades”

Posted on November 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, an detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

This week, David Hasselhoff battles John O’Hurley on Baywatch Nights!

Episode 1.2 “Bad Blades”

(Dir by George Fenady, originally aired on October 7th, 1995)

Cosmetics mogul Frances Sandreen (Lois Nettleton) has hired Mitch, Garner, and Ryan to help her track down her wayward son, Todd (Jason Hervey). Like a lot of rich and spoiled kids, Todd has had his problems with the law. He’s a wanderer, someone who has spent most of his short life pursuing extreme sports and who dropped out of college after just a semester or two. Mitch and Garner think that the kid sounds like a spoiled brat but they need the money so they take the case.

(Why is Mitch so poor? He never seemed to be struggling financially on Baywatch.)

Unfortunately, Todd has fallen in with an even worse crowd than his old prep school friends. He’s joined a group of roller-skating burglars who rob apartments and delivery vans and then skate away into the darkness. One reason why they’re so good at their job is because they spend hours every day practicing. If you’ve ever wanted to spend 20 minutes of your life watching footage of people skating off of ramps in slow motion, this episode should be right up your alley.

Leading this gang of thieves is the impeccably-dressed Kemp. Kemp is played by John O’Hurley of Dancing With Stars, Family Feud, and Seinfeld fame. (O’Hurley also appeared in a few episodes of Baywatch, always playing a different character.) With his perfect haircut and his resonant voice, O’Hurley makes for an entertaining villain. There’s nothing about O’Hurley’s performance that suggests that he is in any way taking the role of Kemp particularly seriously. O’Hurley plays him like a comic book villain and that is definitely to the episode’s benefit.

As entertaining as O’Hurley and the skating scenes are, this episode reveals a huge problem with the first season of Baywatch Nights. Other than the fact that Hasselhoff is wearing a shirt for the entire runtime, there’s nothing about this episode to really distinguish it from a typical episode of Baywatch. Baywatch has its share of episodes about spoiled rich kids and their worried parents. Baywatch was always looking for an excuse to pad out an episode with some extreme sports footage. Even the scene where Garner and Mitch chase the thieves across the Los Angeles river felt like it was lifted from Baywatch or any other Los Angeles-based crime show for that matter.

As well, it’s impossible not to notice that, for an a show called Baywatch Nights, most of the action takes place during the day. I thought being a private eye was only supposed to be Mitch’s night job. Who is watching the beach while Mitch is investigating crimes? It really does seem like Mitch is violating some sort of lifeguard code here.

Next week: Mitch searches for the only witness to a murder!

An Offer You Can’t Refuse #18: The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre (dir by Roger Corman)

Posted on July 8, 2020 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On February 14th, 1929, seven men were murdered in a garage in Chicago, Illinois. Five of the seven men were known to be associates of gangster George “Bugs” Moran. The other two men were considered to be innocent bystanders, a mechanic and a dry cleaner who just happened to enjoy hanging out with gangsters. Though no one was ever convicted of the crime, it was well-known that the murders were carried out on the orders of Al Capone.

In many ways, the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre was a turning point in America’s relationship with organized crime. Before the massacre, Capone had become a bit of a folk hero. He knew how to talk to the press and he was viewed as merely breaking a law (in this case, prohibition) that most people opposed in the first place. However, after the murders, public opinion soured on Capone.

Some of it was the brutality of the crime. It’s been said that over five hundred bullets were fired in that garage, all to kill seven defenseless men who were lined up against a wall. Grisly pictures of the victims were released to the press. Perhaps if the seven men had been carrying weapons and had been involved in a shootout with their murderers, the public’s reaction would have been different. But this was a cold-blooded execution.

Personally, I think the fact that the killers disguised themselves as cops also played a role in the public’s outrage. It was a very calculated move on the part of the killers and it highlighted just how much planning went into the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. As well, it undoubtedly made people paranoid. If a bunch of killer could dress up like cops, who knew who else they could dress up as?

Finally, I think that Capone’s biggest mistake was carrying out the crime on Valentine’s Day. You don’t murder people on a holiday. Anyone should know that. If Capone had waited until February 20th, he probably could have gotten away with it.

The 1967 film, The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, details the rivalry between Capone and Moran, starting with them fighting for control over the Chicago rackets and ending with the title event. Moran is played by Ralph Meeker while Jason Robards plays Capone.

Now I know what you’re probably thinking. Perennial WASP Jason Robards as Al Capone? That may sound like odd casting and, let’s just be honest here, it is. However, it actually kind of works. Robards may not be convincingly Italian but he is convincingly ruthless. Add to that, one of the major subplots of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre is that, even as the head of the Chicago Outfit, Capone still feels like an outsider in the world of organized crime because, while he is Italian, he isn’t Sicilian. Capone feels as if Lucky Luciano and all of the major New York crime bosses look down on him and one reason why he’s so ruthless about taking over Chicago is that wants to show Luciano that he can be just as effective a crime lord as any Sicilian. Capone feeling out of place in the Mafia is reflected by Robards initially seeming to be out of place in a gangster film. By the end of the movie, of course, Capone has proven himself and so has Jason Robards.

Robards isn’t the only familiar face to be found in The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. Though this film was released by 20th Century Fox, it was directed by Roger Corman and Corman fills the production with members of his stock company. Dick Miller, Jonathan Haze, and Jack Nicholson all have small roles as gunmen. Bruce Dern plays the unlucky mechanic who enjoys hanging out with gangsters. Buck Taylor, Leo Gordon, and Joe Turkel all have small roles. John Agar plays Dion O’Bannon and is gunned down in his flower store. Though not members of the Corman stock company, George Segal and David Canary plays brothers who work for Moran. There’s a lot of characters wandering through this film but Corman makes sure that everyone gets a chance to make an impression.

It’s a good gangster film. Though he was working with a larger budget than usual, Corman still brought his exploitation film aesthetic to the material and the end result is a violent, melodramatic gangster film that looks really impressive. The film’s recreation of 1920s Chicago is a visual delight and looking at the well-dressed and stylish gangsters walking and driving down the vibrant city streets, you can understand why organized crime would have such a draw for some people.

The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre is a classic gangster film and a classic Corman film. It’s an offer you can’t refuse.